Chapter Text
“Add seven frozen ashwinder eggs, one at a time, careful not to agitate the liquid,” Remus read from the textbook. “Our eggs are still frozen, right?”
“Of course, I put a stasis charm on them,” Sirius replied as he levitated a single egg over their cauldron. Not only were ashwinder eggs a very dangerous potions ingredient, but they were brewing Amortentia, so a single mistake would ruin all of the work they’d done over the past week.
“All done,” Sirius sighed in relief when the potion finally took on it’s signature pearl-colored sheen. “What do you smell?”
Remus leaned forward to smell the potion, but he was distracted by Snape’s voice from the table next to them.
“Professor?” Snape shouted, staring wide–eyed at his cauldron. “My potion is bubbling; what does that mean?”
“You likely had a few extra rose thorns,” Slughorn started to say as he approached Snape’s cauldron, but he arrived just as the potion exploded. He managed to cast a shield charm just in time to keep it from spraying Snape with liquid—but unfortunately, this redirected it to land on Sirius instead.
“Oh, dear.” Slughorn vanished the potion from his body, but it was too late to prevent the burns that now stretched across his exposed hands and face. “You’ll need to go to the hospital wing, Mr. Black. Terribly sorry.”
“I’ll go with you,” Remus said immediately, but Sirius shook his head.
“It’s fine, just wrap up the potion and I’ll meet you in charms.” He smiled reassuringly, even as an intense pain radiated across his skin, and left no room for argument by leaving before Remus could protest.
Despite being surrounded by the scent of Amortentia for the remainder of class, Remus still couldn’t pinpoint what it smelled like to him. He added the last ingredient (a single mayweed leaf to make it shelf-stable) and carefully transferred it into phials to turn in.
It was such a familiar scent, but Remus still couldn’t figure out what it smelled like. It was something slightly earthy—or maybe woody?—and a bit sweet, too.
He still hadn’t figured it out by the time he got to charms, to his frustration. Sirius hurried into the classroom just as Flitwick started lecturing on the Patronus charm, and as he sat down, he gave Remus a small smile to say that everything was okay.
Remus started taking notes, but the scent of Amortentia was still on his mind, and he stopped writing as he tried to focus on what the scent was.
After a few minutes, he realized he wasn’t remembering the scent anymore—he was smelling it. It hadn’t been there until Sirius had entered the classroom, and now Remus could smell the same scent coming from Sirius. It smells like Sirius.
My amortentia smells like Sirius, Remus thought in a panic. He didn’t know why he hadn't expected it, given that he already knew he loved Sirius. But how was he supposed to tell him that? They’d only been dating for a little over two months—wasn’t that too soon? What if Sirius didn’t feel the same way?
"Professor?" Sirius's voice was barely audible over the chorus of 'expecto patronum!' as everyone continued to attempt the charm, but it still caught Professor Flitwick's attention.
"Yes, Mr. Black?"
"Is it possible for someone's Patronus form to be different from their Animagus form?" Sirius knew the answer, of course, but he wanted to know why. He wanted to know if his suspicions were correct.
"It is, actually," Flitwick pursed his lips. "While a Patronus can occasionally change to represent a different animal, an Animagus form is permanent. Therefore, if a wizard’s Patronus changes after they've completed their transformation, their Patronus and Animagus forms would now be different.”
Sirius nodded, and he had to refrain from glancing at Remus. "What causes the Patronus form to change, sir?"
"Ah," Flitwick smiled, "that's very interesting, actually. As you may be aware, Love has a very strong influence over magic. The Patronus form will change when the wizard's magical core is altered by a major life event—in most cases, that would be falling in love."
Sirius immediately looked to Remus to see if he'd heard, but he appeared to be deep in thought. His head snapped up, though, when he realized Sirius was watching him. Before he could speak, Flitwick addressed the class.
"Alright, wands down for a moment! Mr. Black just asked an excellent question that I want to repeat for all of you—his question was: can one's Patronus form be different from their Animagus form, and if so, why?" He paused, letting the students think about it. "The answer is yes, the two animal forms can be different—usually as a result of a significant life change, such as falling in love." His eyes twinkled at Sirius. "Mr. Black, why don't you try the charm for me?"
Sirius glanced nervously at Remus before lifting his wand. Remus hadn’t seen him cast a corporeal Patronus yet—no one had, in fact, since he’d managed it when he was practicing on his own.
"Alright," Sirius cleared his throat. "Expecto patronum," He said smoothly, watching the silver mist pour out of his wand.
Sirius looked to Remus, biting his lip. Remus watched the wolf that formed from the mist with wide eyes, and Sirius could see the gears turning in his head as he made the connection.
"Is it—is that okay?" Sirius asked softly, grateful that the class had already resumed their attempts at the charm. "I don't want to make you uncomfortable—"
"Of course, Siri," Remus grabbed his hand under the desk and took a deep breath. "You asked me in potions what the Amortentia smelled like," He waited for Sirius to nod before continuing. "It took me a minute to figure it out—I don't know why I didn't realize sooner. It's you ."
"Me?" The corners of Sirius's mouth quirked up.
"It smells like you," Remus confirmed, giving Sirius a glowing smile.
"Oh," he said softly, and he lowered his voice even more. "I want to kiss you so bad right now." He grinned at the blush that appeared on Remus's face as he said that.
“Me, too,” Remus agreed, glancing at the clock. “Only ten minutes left.”
Those ten minutes seemed to stretch on for hours, and when the bell finally rang, Sirius was out of his seat in an instant, hurriedly packing up his things and slinging his bag over his shoulder.
“Whoa, Sirius, wait!” Remus yelped as Sirius grabbed him by the arm and hauled him out of the classroom, barely giving him enough time to shove his notes into his bag.
Sirius pushed past the students bottlenecking at the door and darted down the hall, dragging Remus into the nearest broom closet and slamming the door shut.
“Was this really necess—” Remus’s words were cut off when Sirius pulled him forward by his tie and kissed him hard, and Remus was forced to lean down to maintain contact (not that either of them were complaining). His arms automatically wrapped around Sirius’s waist to pull him closer.
Sirius was breathing hard when they finally pulled apart. “I really, ” Sirius breathed, resting his forehead against Remus’s, “wanted to kiss you.”
“I could tell,” Remus smirked, his eyes glittering from the light of the cupboard’s built-in lumos charm. “So, about the Patronus thing..."
Sirius bit his lip. “I love you,” he said with a small smile. A thrill travelled up his spine when Remus, being careful to cushion his head, growled in response and slammed Sirius against the wall.
Remus kissed him again, pressing his body against Sirius’s and smiling at the moan it elicited. When Remus pulled away for air, he pressed kisses along Sirius’s jaw and trailed them towards his neck.
“Putain de merde, Remus,” Sirius whimpered, letting his head fall back as Remus trailed his teeth along the shell of his ear. He shut his eyes and shuddered, reaching forward blindly to grab Remus by the hips and pull him forward. Remus pressed his thigh firmly between Sirius’s legs, and Sirius’s grip on him tightened. Things had never gotten this heated before, and Sirius really couldn’t find it in him to care that they were in a bloody broom closet, because—
A sharp knock at the door had them quickly pulling apart. Two quick knocks, followed by a pause, then a third. James’s signal for ‘get the hell out of there.’
“Hurry up,” James’s muffled voice came through the door, “Filch is coming.”
“Shit,” Sirius muttered, frantically straightening his hair.
Remus flushed and did as he was told before reaching forward to fix Sirius’s. They hurried out of the closet and were immediately covered by James’s Invisibility Cloak.
James removed the cloak once they’d ducked into a secret passageway. “You’re lucky I was watching the map,” he said, pointedly ignoring his friends’ rumpled appearances. “Though, I might not be,” he muttered to himself.
Sirius bit back a laugh. “Sorry, mate.”
James pulled the map out of his pocket and unfolded it. “Yeah, see? Minnie and Filch are in there now.”
“We haven’t worked on that thing in a while, have we,” Remus mused, peering at the parchment. He and Sirius exchanged a glance—they really didn’t want to think about McGonagall and Filch catching them snogging in a broom closet.
“Not all year, actually,” Sirius commented. The map was still a work-in-progress—they only had a few main corridors mapped out, and they hadn’t figured out how to have people automatically appear on the map, so it currently only showed members of Hogwarts’ faculty.
“Well, we’ve been a bit busy,” James answered. “Oh, and Remus—fix your tie, will you?” He spun on his heel and walked off, not waiting for his friends to follow.
Sirius laughed at the embarrassed expression on Remus’s face, earning himself a shove.
“Oh, shut up,” Remus grumbled, but he was smiling too. “I love you too, by the way.” His smile grew when Sirius beamed at him.
“So,” Sirius said conversationally as Remus entered their dorm after getting ready for bed that evening. “Tell me more about what Amortentia smells like to you.”
Remus strode across their dorm and snaked his arms around Sirius’s torso, burying his face in his neck and inhaling. “It smells kind of woody, like your clothes,” he began.
“It’s silver fir,” Sirius told him, chuckling when Remus lifted his head to give him a confused look. “My mother always has it burning in the fireplace at home—the whole place smells like it.” He paused to pull Remus over to the nearest bed—which happened to be Sirius’s. “She’s so picky, though, that she gets the wood imported from France.” He pulled the curtains aside and climbed into bed, patting the spot next to him. He grinned when Remus laid down on his side and wrapped his arms around him.
“You can import firewood?” Remus questioned as he laid on his side and wrapped his arms around Sirius. “Well, anyways, you always smell like it, or at least your clothes do. But it’s kind of sweet, too. I think that’s the soap you use.” His eyes fluttered shut when Sirius gave him a soft smile and leaned forward to kiss him on the forehead. “Oh, and it smells like chocolate, too.”
“That’s the one I was waiting for,” Sirius chuckled.
“What do you think it smells like for you?” Remus asked. He wasn’t sure if Sirius had even had a chance to smell it before Snape’s potion exploded.
“It smells just like you.” he pressed a kiss to the crook of Remus’s elbow.
“Did you just kiss my elbow?”
“It was the closest thing to me!” He laughed with Remus. “I could kiss you here, instead,” he pressed his lips to Remus’s jawline. “Or here,” he kissed his cheek. “Or… here,” he gave him a chaste kiss on the lips.
“Hey, come back, I wasn’t done,” Remus protested, curling his fingers around the back of Sirius’s neck and pulling him towards him. Sirius melted into the kiss, feeling his stomach flutter when Remus gently bit his lip. “That’s better,” he smirked at the dazed expression on Sirius’s face.
“I—um,” Sirius blinked, trying to find the words to form a response. “Je t’aime,” he whispered.
Remus grinned, resting his forehead against Sirius’s. “T’i’n perffaith.”
Sirius flushed at the unfamiliar words. “Does that—what does that mean?”
“It means, ‘you’re perfect,’ ” he smiled softly. “Because you are. But also, dwi’n dy garu di.”
“Let me guess,” he bit his lip. “You love me, too?”
“Of course I do,” Remus giggled as Sirius tightened his arms around him, burying his face in his shirt. “You know, you never specified what your Amortentia smells like.”
“I already said it smells like you,” Sirius’s voice was muffled, and he pulled back to speak properly. “A bit like coffee, a bit like chocolate…and like the library, too.”
Remus raised an eyebrow. “The library has a smell?”
“Obviously, with all of those books in there? Although, I bet you can’t even smell it anymore, since you’re in there so often.” He snickered when Remus made a noise of protest. “It smells a bit like your hair, too.” He brushed Remus’s hair out of his face, his fingers lingering behind his ear.
“Like mint?”
“Exactly.” Sirius traced circles into his scalp, and Remus closed his eyes and leaned into his touch.
The moment was abruptly ruined when the curtains around Sirius’s bed were roughly pulled aside. “Guess what I just found out?” James exclaimed.
“Hey, a little privacy, please?” Sirius jerked away from Remus in surprise.
“Please,” James waved his hand. “You didn’t have a silencing charm up; I would’ve known if you were going at it. Anyways, you know why Snape’s potion exploded?”
“Because he’s a git?” Sirius suggested.
Remus snickered. “Because his Amortentia couldn’t bear to be in his presence?”
“That’s what Pete and I thought, but no. ” James answered excitedly. “Slughorn said he must’ve added a few extra rose thorns into his potion, but that git is so persnickety about potions, he never would make a mistake like that. But you know who asked me if I had any extra rose thorns because she didn’t have enough?” He glanced between Sirius and Remus with a huge grin on his face, as if he was about to reveal the punchline of a brilliant joke. “Lily.”
“Lily sabotaged his potion?” Remus gasped, twisting his body to face James.
He nodded proudly. “She was acting all weird about it, too, but eventually I got her to tell me that it was her. He totally deserved it too— apparently he still hasn’t left her alone, and was pestering her all period about accepting his bloody apology.”
“James,” Sirius said earnestly, “if you don’t marry her, then I will.”
“Hey!” Remus protested.
“I’m kidding,” he grinned. “I’ve only got eyes for you, Moony,” he darted forward to give him a kiss.
“That’s better,” Remus murmured, though he was still pretending to pout.
“I’m just so proud, you know?” James rambled on. “Is this what love feels like?” He asked. “Is it?”
“I don’t think I’m qualified to answer that,” Sirius snickered, “given that I’m not straight, nor do I fancy Lily Evans.”
“Seconded,” Remus agreed.
“I’ve got to tell her how brilliant I think it is.”
“Don’t hound her,” Remus told him. “That’s the last thing she needs.”
“You’re right,” James agreed. “We’ve only been on one date; I don’t want to ruin it—that is, if someone,” he directed a pointed look at Sirius, “hasn’t already ruined my chances for me.”
Remus snickered to himself. During the last Hogsmeade weekend, Sirius had managed to crash James and Lily’s date while in his Animagus form—and James had to do some fast thinking in order to play it off.
“I think I added a lot of value to your conversation,” Sirius said innocently. “You’re just lucky Pete didn’t ruin it when he asked Lily when she got a dog.”
James laughed. “Okay, fine, it was pretty funny. But really, what should I say to her?”
Sirius shrugged. “Just ask her how she knew that rose thorns would explode the potion,” he suggested, absentmindedly playing with Remus’s fingers.
“Genius , Pads, thanks.” James bounced on his heels for a moment, before hurrying out of their dorm.
“So, where were we?” Remus turned over and returned his lips to Sirius’s.
Sirius's arm wrapped securely around Remus's waist as he kissed back eagerly, letting their legs tangle together. "Should we put up a silencing charm, so James won't interrupt us?" He asked after pulling away minutely.
"Fuck that," Remus peppered kisses along his cheekbone. "I'm busy."
"Mhm," Sirius sighed in contentment. "Merlin, I'm so glad I said it."
"Said what?"
"That I love you," he smiled shyly. "I just—I feel it so strongly; I feel like I'll never be able to say it enough for you to understand how much I bloody love you."
"I think I understand," Remus whispered. "I love you too, if that much wasn't clear."
Sirius's arm tightened around Remus's waist, drawing him closer until their foreheads were pressed against each other. Remus pressed a gentle kiss against his lips, then another, and another; as it gradually got more heated. The hand that rested on Remus's waist gently slipped under his jumper, and Sirius ran his thumb against Remus's bare skin.
Then Sirius’s hand slid towards his back, and Remus stiffened so suddenly that Sirius flinched back.
"Are you—are you okay?" Sirius asked worriedly, trying to catch his breath.
Remus stuttered a response, refusing to meet his eyes. "I have—I have scars there, Siri."
"Do they...hurt?" Sirius frowned, hoping that he hadn't caused him any pain.
"N—no, they're healed," he answered. "But—they aren't...they don't look nice. They're raised and—and jagged, and—" his voice broke off for a moment. "And I hate them."
“Remus, I—I don’t care about what they look like—c’mon, none of that matters to me.” He brushed the hair out of Remus’s face and kissed his temple. “You have to know that, right?”
“I—I know, but—”
“Shhh, I wasn’t finished,” Sirius interrupted him with a quick kiss on the lips. “I love your scars, and you know why?”
Remus shrugged half-heartedly, before shifting to hide his face in the crook of Sirius’s neck. “Why?” He asked finally.
“Because they’re yours. Everything about you is beautiful, Rem.”
He didn’t answer for a moment, and when he did, his voice was muffled. “You mean that?”
“Of course I mean that, hey—” Sirius ran his fingers through his hair to prompt Remus to look up. “Haven’t I said that before?”
“Well…yeah, but I always thought you were joking.”
“What? Why would you think that?”
Remus looked away. “Because you’re always laughing about it.”
“Oh, Merlin, I’m not laughing at you,” Sirius shook his head. “I’m laughing because your reaction makes me so happy—it’s the fact that I can have that kind of an effect on you; and the fact that you’re mine.”
“Really?” He bit his lip in an effort not to smile.
He rolled his eyes. “You know I’m an awful liar,” he said, prompting laughter from Remus. He paused, and then asked, “You know what I’m really looking forward to?”
“What’s that?” Remus questioned, still struggling not to smile.
“Spending time with you this summer.”
“Huh?” He frowned. “But we never get to hang out during the summer because of your—wait, are you going home this summer?”
Sirius smiled and shook his head. “James finally convinced me to stay with him.” For a split-second, he was worried that Remus would be upset that Sirius wasn’t staying with him instead—but then he grinned and hugged Sirius tightly around the middle.
“Thank Merlin, Sirius,” he sighed in relief. He leaned back to look at Sirius’s face again. “I love you,” he said, lurching forward to kiss him..
“I love you too,” Sirius replied when they pulled away, grinning brightly.
Wait, does this mean—” Remus frowned. “Could you come over for my transformations?”
Sirius shrugged. “If you can convince your parents to let us—or at least me—then I imagine the Potter’s would let us, provided that they don’t know.”
His eyes widened, and Sirius was mildly alarmed to see tears starting to gather in his eyes. “Does that mean—does that mean I’m not going to be alone anymore?”
“Oh, Remus,” Sirius used his thumb to wipe away the tear that ran down his cheek. “You’ll never be alone again.”
Remus’s lower lip wavered, and he lifted his hand to show Sirius his pinky finger. “Pinky promise?”
Sirius grinned and linked pinkies with him. “I pinky promise,” he answered, and kissed him again.