Chapter Text
Female Sasuke Uchiha
- figures out the truth about the massacre
- loves her big brother.. in denial
- protective of Naruto.. He’s hers
- not so revenge obsessed
- still wants revenge though, but really just want to burn Danzo with Amaterasu* (spelling?)
- she just wants her big brother (maybe- denial?)
- gossips with Neji, I mean they both have fabulous hair
- FEMALE SASUKE DOES NOT HAVE THE DUCK BUTT
- might have trolled the academy class after the massacre and her emotional trauma by wearing gender neutral clothes and everyone assuming she’s a he... fan girls are a thing.
- only Naruto, Shikamaru and Shino knew she was a girl
- Kiba thought she smelled like a girl but was hella confused cause “Sasuke’s a boy right?”
Sasuke not giving a single shit and letting them think what they want
- Chuunin exams come and Sasuke does not get the snake hickey, she a badass and beat some sense into her teammates a long time ago
- team 7 would destroy that forest of death before they let some “creepy looking snake pedo” do what he wants with them
- rookies finding out she’s a girl in the exams
- the chaos
- Sasuke and Naruto Roasting Orochimaru
- Sasuke and TenTen being a badass duo
- probably Temari too after the invasion settled
- Sasuke loving tomatoes
- she has a huge garden for every kind of tomato she can get her hands on
- her and Naruto accidentally creating their own spy network because they get all kinds of wacky things from around the nations smuggled in pot Konoha for them
- Naruto and the weirdly specific things he needs for traps / pranks / seals “ah on the next shopping list can we put down a fake leg?”
- only Sasuke knowing why he wants all this weird shit and not giving a shit
- everyone else is horrified and come to their own ridiculous conclusions
- Sasuke collecting and sampling tomatoes from every hidden nation and town she can
- Naruto sampling ramen the same way... his loyalty to Ichiraku is for a reason
- lmao just imagine all the stuff they find out with this when they only wanted to buy shit they couldn’t in Konoha or without getting into trouble
- It’s not even usually village secrets (though there are plenty of those they know about), it’s weird and random info they love hearing about
- just imagine them casually discussing the Daimyo’s third cousin’s tendency to cross dress and people overhearing and being incredulous as frick
- idk just stuff like that
- but they also have a truck tone of village secrets and they love randomly using their knowledge to freak people out and get what they want
- “maybe we’ll get to meet that one Suna ANBU that has that glass figuring jutsu” “do you think he’ll make us figurines if we asked?” “Hn... we’ll just have to persuade him” *looks at each other with shit eating devil smirks* talking about the chuunin exams 😂
- Naruto and Sasuke running into Itachi and Kisame
- Sasuke and Naruto find out everything they can about kisame
- because someone has to look out for her precious big brother, otherwise he’ll be taken advantage of.. obviously
- Sasuke and Naruto giving Kisame the third degree and scaring the begeezes out of him with all the info they have on him “how do you gakis know this?”
- Kisame’s approved, “I expect you’ll treat my big brother like the queen he is hn?” “ yeah cause we will avenge itachi-nii’s honour if you try anything dattebayo!”
- Itachi’s kind of mortified and kind of dying inside over how adorable these two little terrors are
- Sasuke and Naruto shipping those two and going crazy over anyone they assume is a threat to Itachi and Kisame’s “relationship”
- everyone thinks this is just more of their crazy and don’t believe them
- Itachi and Kisame are together
- no one believes Sasuke or Naruto but look like total idiots when Kisame saves Itachi from fangirls and kissing him or something
- Sasuke and Naruto being smug as heck and are the number 1 supporters of this relationship
- Sasuke finding out about Naruto’s crazy gambling luck
- these two take over underground gambling rings without even trying
- Sasuke’s poker face & Naruto’s luck? Why wouldn’t they
- Naruto can actually beat Sasuke at poker
- people turning up to their apartment unexpectedly and catch them playing strip poker, both of them not being fussed about it at all
- betting on almost everything .. I mean somethings they just know
- they use their knowledge from their accidental spy network to trick people into ridiculous but winning bets
- Shikamaru hating them for being so troublesome but actually loving it! That boy loves to see the chaos Sasuke and Naruto cause
- he’s just salty because he can’t figure out how they know all the crap they do
-Sasuke and Team Gai training together
- everyone thinking Sasuke is the brain of Team 7, the voice of reason
- She’s actually the worst of them
- Some of Naruto’s worst pranks were her ideas
- “before you ask, no fire Sasuke” “...” “no lightning either” “...hn” “quit pouting”
- also Naruto and Sasuke going trigger happy with explosive tags too many times
- team 7 has a reputation... CHAOS
- Sasuke not caring about Naruto’s sexy jutsu and actually learning it “just cause”
- Naruto and Sasuke doing a bunch of shit together in the sexy jutsu because they were curious and decided they needed to test its potential
- ANBU
- Kakashi ANBU Senpai
- Sasuke decides Sai is hers too
- she drops him off with Naruto for some “seal removal please”
- Sasuke takes care of her boys
- third team member of team 7? Sakura? Who knows?
- Sasuke getting her Sharingan on the night of the massacre and keeping it a secret
- she’s a smart girl, she knows what’s up in the village
- Sasuke x Shikamaru? Maybe for a short while
- SasuNaru is endgame though... maybe
Honestly Fem!Sasuke just being a badass, smart, wifey material kind of gal.
!!! - Sasuke figuring out who and what Naruto is and tells him, she won’t keep that shit from the sunshine boy. Orphans stick together.
BAMF DAI-NANA-HAN
BAMF NARUTO SASUKE