Chapter Text
Out of all the places Itachi expected to be, this was the last one. Alright, maybe that's a lie. First of all, where the hell is this "place", and second of all why the fuck is he here?
"What. The. FUCK." Hidan might not be Itachi's favorite person-- quite the opposite but, shit is that exactly how he feels at the moment. That one exclamation seem to snap the entire rest of the group out of their shock, well except Tobi, who was never in shock in the first place so, it seemed anyways.
"Weren't we just at the base?"
"People are looking at us weird."
"WELL THEY CAN FUCKING DIE!"
"Does anyone else feel like they look different? Or is that just me?"
"WHY THE FUCK DOES KAKUZU LOOK YOUNGER?!"
Honestly Itachi didn't give a fuck. All the voices of the Akatsuki members merged into one as the Uchiha scanned his surroundings. Even though it didn't really register for him at first he did notice that it was cold. Like really fucking cold. The second thing that he noticed, was the bright lights and tall buildings. Also the amounts of people around him but he didn't really care.
At first glance there was a clear difference between cultures. The best example would be the way people looked and dressed here. instead of the Shinobi or civilian clothing, he would usually find back "home", where people wore, causal t-shirts, and slacks overlaid with thick coats that made the 14-year-old envious. And while Itachi could speculate and point out the many faults with this situation, fuck that. He was cold and he was going to solve that regardless of whatever shit hole he was in.
And with that in mind, he spotted a shop that looked cozy enough and made a beeline towards it.
"Itachi! Where the fuck are you going?"
Said person turned around to see the voice that addressed him. In doing so he noticed 2 major things. One, there were three unrecognizable people, two dark-skinned men (one taller than the other, and has weird markings (scars?) along his face) and another man, seemingly albino, and looks suspiciously like one of the darker-skinned men.
He turned to Sasori, who asked the question, "Who are they?"
"Have you not been listening to what we've been talking about for the past 10 minutes...?"
"No."
Sasori's hand twitched, "That's Kisame and Zetsu. Zetsus?"
Um. What? "Zetsus?" He raised his eyebrow at him.
"Yeah, they like fucking body split or something, I don't know."
Well, that's something you don't see every day. Whatever, not his problem. He turned around and started walking back over to the shop he saw.
"Itachi!"
"What?" He deadpanned. "Where are you going now?"
He sighed, he honestly didn't think that he was going to get away without some sort of explanation so, he gave. "To that shop down there."
"Why?"
"I'm cold."
There was a disbelieving look on Sasori's usually stoic face.
"ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS, UN? WE'RE IN SOME RANDOM PLACE, NO IDEA WHERE WE ARE, ZETSU SPLIT IN FUCKING HALF FOR WHATEVER REASON, KISAME FUCKING MORPHED INTO ANOTHER SKIN COLOR AND YOU'RE GOING TO SOME DUMB ASS SHOP BECAUSE YOU'RE COLD, UN?????"
Boom. There goes the ticking time bomb, that is Deidara. About time honestly. Deidara is Itachi's least favorite member. Well, no Hidan is, Deidara's just above him. And it's a mutual feeling as well. If he's being honest the blonde son of a bitch and suck it.
"Yes."
He turned away and walked to that shop, unbothered by the shouting that was going on behind him, though unfortunately for him Deidara was hot on his tail.
See here the problem that Itachi did not foresee, the shop was on the other side of the street. Where cars were zooming by. Yeah. That's a problem. One he didn't know about.
Anyways because he's not an idiot he waited on his side of the street to wait for the cars to pass by, and eventually the cars stopped so, he crossed the street. And because he's in fucking New York City, and it's filled with madmen, faster than he could think about, an automobile sped towards him, honking the horn.
The noise startled him, and he froze for a second. Clearly, having anything speeding at you wasn't a good idea, he learned that long before he was training for being a shinobi, he realized that this wasn't the best time to think about the life lessons he learn when was still training, as the car was getting closer with no signs of slowing down.
Quickly he ran to the other side of the street, narrowly missing the vehicle. Faintly he heard a yell from behind him, and he was unsurprised when he turned around and saw the sickly familiar blonde, and not far behind was the rest of the Akatsuki.
"Uchiha, what the fuck?!"
"What?"
"You couldn't have died you fucking idiot!"
Annoyed, he turned and walked away from Deidara. Honestly, he didn't understand why it matter so much to him, since the bomber has always expressed his dislike for Itachi. (He thinks the reason for that is because Deidara is still salty about the fact someone younger than him, beat him so easily.)
' Maybe he's bipolar.' Deidara should get that checked out by a healer
"Hey! I'm talking to you! Don't just ignore me, asshole!"
Hoping to lose Deidara in the upcoming crowd, Itachi walked just a tad faster. Fortunately enough for him, the wave of people did seem to make the blonde lose track of him, and the shop called 'Starbucks' (a stupid name if you asked him) was getting closer. What he did notice though was that there was an odd amount of people surrounding a single building, with too-bright lights. If he listened closely enough he could hear loud cheers of celebration.
Was today special? Well obviously, it was considering that he just got fucking teleported to this place. Maybe it was a holiday for this place? Or maybe he's just overthinking it and it was just nothing. It's possible that he just passed someone's birthday party, god only knows why they would want to spend it in the freezing ass cold. Not that he can really talk, he never had a birthday party, so who knows you're supposed to spend it in the cold.
He sighed, white smoke leaving his mouth and disappearing into the winter air. He let these thoughts invade his mind for far too long, and he was so close to his destination. Yep. Time to get over it. Now that he was seeing 'Starbucks' up close it's a lot bigger than he thought it actually was, which is not necessarily a bad thing, but that means more people in there. Shit, he at least hopes that the place is somewhat quiet. Not wasting any time, he entered the coffee shop, and an immediate rush of warmth flew through him. Not lingering at the entrance, instead, he walked up to the counter and waited in a short line.
"Welcome to Starbucks, how may I take your order?" The barista asked far too cheery for the raging storm going on outside. (Itachi was very much exaggerating, there was no such storm outside, he's just a pussy against the cold.)
The barista herself looked nice enough, and though Itachi wasn't the one to judge by looks, but he thinks he could take her if she tried some shit. "Mm, can I get a tea?"
"Of course, which flavor would you like, sir?"
"Do you have Macha?"
"Of course, would you like a tall, venti, or grande size?"
What the fuck are those? Kami, this place is so fucking weird. He can only guess that those stand for small, middle, and large, but why the hell did this shop have to be complicated?
"Venti."
"Right up sir! That'll be $3.67." Shit, he forgot about paying. Maybe he can just steal it, he's already a rouge Shinobi and killed his entire family, what's one more crime? He'll be out of here by a week's time anyway. Regardless he searched his pockets for some spare yen, if he doesn't have to do some stupid shit he won't. The fewer charges he has the better.
To his surprise, he did find a couple of green paper strips, that looked suspiciously similar to the yen he had in his pocket. Itachi dug in his pocket to search for his money, instead of finding more of the strange green paper. The Uchiha furrowed his eyebrows.
Shoving his hand out to the brunette barista "Will this be enough? Sorry, I'm not from around here."
"It's quite fine, yes that'll be enough."
Turns out that the people here are nicer than back "home" too, the barista-- who Itachi found out that her name was actually Alyssa (weird name if you asked him), briefly explained to him what each bill was worth though she didn't explain what the value of the silver coins were, he was sure that he'll be able to manage without that information.
Walking off to the side of the line, he left Alyssa to serve other customers. Not even a minute later, he heard his name being called, though the way it was said you would have thought it was someone else completely different. Not only that but they completely butchered his name on the cup. The tea itself wasn't bad, if only slightly too warm. Keeping to himself as much as possible, he quietly moves to a corner seat next to a window, bathing in the bask warmth provided by the shop, and sips his tea.
Loud noises erupted from outside the Starbucks, and curiously he looked from the peeping glass on his right, to see two things.
One: remember that loud commotion he mentioned not too long ago? Yeah so, the crowd was way fucking bigger than it was 10 minutes ago, and there was a huge fucking hanging from an unbelievably tall building that he can't understand how he missed it earlier, both of those factors made him consider that, this wasn't just a simple little birthday party. The ball slightly alarmed him, and he wondered whether he should start running. (In the end, he decided not to because if it was some nuclear weapon he wouldn't get fall enough from the blast radius so he'll die anyway.)
And the second, far less scary sight, was the Akatsuki hazardously dodging incoming chairs, thrown by a certain fuming, shouting blonde. See now, Deidara wasn't the only person making noise naturally, Hidan was also making quite the commotion because how he deals with loud people-- is to be louder. And yeah, and also all the other bystanders which were getting caught in the crossfire and also getting hit by chairs, but no one really cared about them.
Itachi didn't really want to get involved with whatever bipolar shit Deidara was dealing with and would much rather let the rest of the Akatsuki handle it, unfortunately, not for the first time, today Kami seemed to really not be on his side.
In true Deidara style, the doors flew open, to reveal the Kekkei Genkai user, with eyes that promised pain (if Itachi was any less person), and to anyone else a scary demeanor. He sighed.
"UCHIHA!" The Akatsuki members followed the former earth Shinobi in-suite, as he made his way to the said, person. It's not really like Itachi really thought that he could avoid them forever eventually, he'd have to regroup with them so they could go back "home".
'Tch still doesn't change the fact that I don't want them here.' Instead of expressing that out loud, he switches to his defense mechanism-- deadpanning them. Grabbing his tea, he gets up to meet Deidara halfway.
"Deidara-kun."
A tick popped on Deidara's face and he clenched his fist, and he tried to lunge at Itachi but was held back by Kisame (which he still can't get over the fact that he literally changed appearance, but considering that they live in a world where people have fucking supernatural abilities it's not all that overwhelming.) and Sasori.
"Itachi Uchiha when I get my hands on you-", he was cut off by a loud ticking noise accompanied by people counting down. "JASHIN FUCK, WILL THEY SHUT THE HELL UP?" The voice that spoke up slightly surprised him, it was Hidan who he had forgotten was there. Come to think about it Hidan hasn't really said much, which is unusual as he was the usual blabbermouth of the group. This shit has really gotten the lot of them shaken up.
Within Itachi's moment of distraction, Deidara managed to break free from his captors and reached for Itachi's hair.
"10!"
In retaliation, Itachi grabbed a handful of his golden locks and scratched his arm.
"9!"
Somehow they both end up on the floor, rolling around and trying to get petty hits on each other.
"8!"
"AY! AY! NO FIGHTING BETWEEN MEMBERS." Kisame pulled the explosive blonde off of Itachi, while Kakuzu gave a lazy attempt to hold Itachi back.
"7!"
Itachi didn't struggle against Kakuzu, but Deidara on the other hand was kicking and screaming like a toddler having a tantrum. If Itachi was being quite honest it was pretty amusing.
"6!'
The next time the raven-haired caught Deidara's eye he stuck his tongue at him and raised his hand to form an "L". Just to be petty, y'know.
"5!"
Deidara sputtered angrily and tried to force his way out of Kisame's arms. "Stop trying to fight Itachi, Deidara."
"4!"
"What- I- huh? HE'S TRYING TO PROVOKE ME!" Itachi saw the clear offense on Deidara's face, which made him internally chuckle, which quickly died down when he saw a shadow looming over him.
"3!"
"Sirs, you need to leave."
"2!"
It wasn't unexpected for them to get kicked out, considering how loud Deidara they were and they did literally fight inside. Speaking of which, Kisame was being a mother hen at the moment, squawking about every bruise he found on Deidara or Itachi, all the meanwhile scolding them about manners, and how they shouldn't fight each other instead they should be supporting each other. That was a line that he had heard multiple times coming from his own Mother and Father. It made him nostalgic, in a bittersweet way, he gave a small smile which was overlooked by most of the members.
"What are you smiling for, un?"
"1! HAPPY NEW YEAR!"
Itachi faltered for a second. It wasn't the question that caught him off guard, it was..something else. He couldn't really put his finger on what it was exactly, but he feels different. More grounded. It was like a wave of weight was put on him. Or it could be an adrenaline crash. At this point who knows, anything about anything. Even then still... 'What was that?' He couldn't think too much on it anymore as a certain Jashinist ran up to him and threw his arm around him and Itachi's eyebrow twitched in annoyance. Hidan was rambling on about something Itachi couldn't care enough about to listen to the still, something about this entire made him want to smile.
"WHERE THE FUCK IS TOBI?!"
-
Itachi didn't know it at that moment, but the same feeling that washed over him was also felt by his companies.
The two-hour window has been closed off for them.
The grounding feeling that they felt, was to single out to them that they are now attached to this world.
Forever.
-
Elsewhere
-
"What do you mean that they disappeared?"
"Exactly what I said. I left for one second and came back, then they were gone."
"You're supposed to watch them, so things like this don't happen." The woman dropped her head ashamed, and the man sighed. "It's fine. Let's just find them now yeah?" The pair walked into the Akatsuki base, which felt colder than it usually was, singling that no one had been here in a while. They entered the living room area, to find 5people there, four men, and a single woman.
"Well, guess we've got an Akatsuki to hunt down, ain't that right?"