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Virgil was just trying to zone out while watching TV, until his vision was suddenly obscured by a mass of grey and white fur.
“Baby want treat.”
Virgil blinked at the goofy, high-pitched voice. Then he gently smushed the mass of fur to the side, pushing it away from his face and back into his boyfriend’s arms.
“We’re not feeding her again,” he said as firmly as possible. Remus took his rejection of their kitty’s presence in his face in stride— he pulled Tallulah back against his chest, bouncing her slightly and letting her rub her face against his neck.
“Not feeding!” he insisted. “Just a…”
He made his voice high pitched and clowny again, shoving her closer to Virgil’s face again. “Liddol treat.”
Virgil sighed, straightening on the couch as he reached up to scratch behind Tallulah’s ears.
“No, dude. Her doctor said she’s eating too much.” It was true— even as Virgil pet her, he could tell how flabby her jowls were, how low her stomach sank. “She’s too fat.”
Remus scoffed. “There’s no such thing, belladonna, first of all. And second all—”
Virgil yelped as Remus moved suddenly, haphazardly clambering to straddle Virgil’s thighs without dropping the cat. Tallulah didn’t even react as her body was swung back and forth— she’d grown accustomed to Remus’ clumsy affections of love in the years since he and Virgil had started dating.
“You haven’t let her have any treats all week!” Remus continued indignantly. He lowered Tallulah until her nose was centimeters away from Virgil’s. “How can you say no to those eyes?”
It was a dirty trick, and Remus knew it: Virgil was weak for his little kitty, and he almost broke when she reached forward to snuffle at the tip of his nose. But at the last second, he tore his eyes away from Tallulah's and back to Remus’.
“No,” he said with finality. He reached up and grabbed their cat from his boyfriend, pulling her into his lap and cuddling her properly.
Remus pouted. He slid off of Virgil’s lap and headed back to the kitchen. Virgil could hear him clambering for a few seconds before it went suspiciously quiet.
Right on cue, his boyfriend leaned over the back of the couch and wrapped his arms around Virgil’s chest in one quick motion. He jumped from the sudden movement, because of course he did, and Remus apologized with a kiss on the back of his head.
Virgil bit his lip, running his fingers through Tallulah’s fur. He knew what was coming, and sure enough, Remus’ hands trailed down Virgil’s chest until they came to rest on either side of Tallulah’s head. He scritched beneath her jaw, making her close her eyes in contented bliss.
“Baby want treat…” he murmured in that same high pitched voice he always used to make Tallulah ‘speak’. He wiggled her head from side to side as he talked, smushing her face as gently as possible.
“Daddy Virgil…” he cooed directly into Virgil’s ear, “baby Tallulah want liddol treat…”
Virgil scoffed, but he couldn’t help the smile that was slowly growing on his face. Remus leaned further down and grabbed Tallulah’s arms.
“Liddol treat! Liddol treat! Liddol treat!” he chanted, making Tallulah wave her arms like a cheerleader. After a few more seconds of Remus puppeteering the cat, Virgil sighed loudly.
“She may have ONE treat,” he relented. Remus gave an over dramatic gasp.
“Thank you, Daddy Virgil!” he continued brightly in his Tallulah voice. The cat seemed unaware that she’d just been granted a treat from her father, but Remus was easily making up for her lack of enthusiasm.
“Kissies!” Remus continued. “Kissies for Daddy Virgil for being such a sweet cat daddy!”
He pressed a kiss onto the back of Virgil’s head, then another, and another. Suddenly Virgil was being pushed face-first into Tallulah as Remus all but climbed over the back of the couch to smother him with kisses.
“Remus!” Virgil hissed, laughing too hard to properly fight him off. “You— baby, please, get off of me!”
Rmus only cackled before kissing the back of Virgil’s neck, his mustache tickling him and making him squeal. Tallulah finally got tired of the commotion, and she swiftly jumped off of Virgil’s lap and sauntered to the kitchen.
Her absence gave Remus enough room to wiggle around until he was sitting sideways in Virgil’s lap.
“Thanks, Daddy Virgil,” he said with a lazy smirk. Virgil scoffed again.
“What will it take for you to stop calling me that?”
Remus’ eyes gleamed. “I have a few ideas.”