Chapter Text
**Kon**
I’m not sure when exactly I lost sight of who I was—or maybe it’s better to say who I thought I was. Everything seemed so clear, so simple before all of this. I knew who I was supposed to be: the good guy, the hero, the *straight* best friend who always had Tim’s back.
But then that damn alternate timeline happened, and suddenly everything I thought I knew about myself was tossed into a blender and pulverized. I keep trying to shake it off, to tell myself that it was just a twisted fantasy, a version of life that wasn’t real, but it doesn’t work. The memories of that timeline are too vivid, too painful, and too damn *right.*
The truth is, I’ve been lying to myself for a long time. I’m good at it, practiced. Hell, I grew up in Kansas, where everything’s black and white, and any shade of gray is just ignored. Maybe that’s part of it—maybe growing up in the heartland made it easy to hide. But deep down, I know there’s more to it.
Maybe it’s Kansas, maybe it’s Maybelline, maybe it’s the fact that I’m a living reminder of one man’s creepy obsession with another. Whatever it is, I buried this part of myself so deep that I almost convinced myself it wasn’t there. Almost.
But then I lived that other life—*our* other life. And everything just… clicked. Like a puzzle piece I didn’t know I was missing finally fell into place.
Tim.
I’ve known him for so long, trusted him with everything, but I never let myself think about him like that. I never allowed myself to see what was right in front of me. And now? Now it’s all I can think about. I can’t stop seeing him the way he was in that timeline—happy, confident, looking at me like I was the center of his universe. And what scares me most is that I loved it. I loved him.
And now I’m back here, in the world where that wasn’t supposed to happen, and I’m spiraling because I don’t know how to handle it. I don’t know how to face him, how to tell him that the thing I’ve been running from is him. Because if I do, if I admit that I might be in love with my best friend, then what does that make me? Who does that make me?
I’m hovering above Gotham, just trying to get my head straight, but all I can think about is Tim. I’ve been up here for who knows how long, just floating in circles like some kind of idiot, hoping that the answers will come to me. But they don’t. And all I can hear is this little voice in my head telling me that I’m about to lose him. That if I don’t get my shit together, he’s going to slip away, and I’ll never get him back.
I can’t let that happen.
I force myself to take a deep breath, to focus. I know Tim, I know where he goes when he needs to think, where he hides when he’s hurting. I let my senses reach out, searching for the steady rhythm of his heartbeat. It’s faint, but it’s there, and I lock onto it like a lifeline.
It doesn’t take me long to find him. But when I do, the sight of him makes my chest tighten with guilt. He’s standing in Crime Alley, of all places, looking like he’s ready to fall apart.
He hasn’t noticed me yet, and for a split second, I consider turning back, just giving him the space he probably needs. But then I see the way his shoulders are shaking, the way he’s hugging himself like he’s trying to hold himself together, and I know I can’t leave him like this.
I land softly behind him, trying not to startle him, but he doesn’t turn around. He just stands there, staring at the spot where Bruce’s parents died, like he’s trying to find some kind of answer in it.
“Tim,” I say, my voice low, but it’s enough to make him tense up. “Why are you running?”
He finally turns to face me, and the look in his eyes is like a punch to the gut. There’s so much pain there, so much fear, and it’s all my fault. I can see it—he’s convinced that I don’t want anything to do with him, that he’s somehow screwed everything up.
“I’m not running from you, Kon,” he says, but his voice is barely more than a whisper, and I can hear the lie in it. “I’m running from… this.”
I step closer, my heart pounding in my chest. “From what? What are you so afraid of?”
He looks at me, really looks at me, and I can see him trying to find the right words, trying to figure out how to explain something that we both know is impossible to explain. “From you, from us, from… everything we could be. Everything we were supposed to be,” he admits, his voice trembling. “Because I don’t know if any of it was ever real.”
The words cut through me like a knife because I know exactly how he feels. I’m just as lost, just as terrified, but I can’t let him know that. Not now, not when he’s already spiraling.
“It was real, Tim,” I say, but there’s doubt in my voice, and I hate myself for it. “Everything we went through in that alternate timeline—it was all real to me. But now, back here…” I trail off because I don’t know how to finish that sentence. I don’t know how to explain that I’m scared shitless that I’m not the guy he wants me to be, that I can’t be that guy.
“But what about now, Kon?” he presses, his voice breaking. “What about the world we’re standing in right now? In this timeline, you were never… we were never…” He chokes on the words, and it makes my heart ache because I know exactly what he’s thinking.
“I don’t know, okay?” I snap, frustration boiling over. “I don’t know what I’m supposed to feel. Before all this, you were my best friend. My brother. That’s how I let myself think of you, even when… even when it didn’t always feel like that was enough.” I run a hand through my hair, the anger giving way to something more vulnerable, something I don’t want to show. “Because I didn’t want to lose you.”
He flinches at that, and I see the tears welling up in his eyes. “Then why didn’t you say anything? Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Because I didn’t want to ruin everything!” I shout, and it echoes off the walls of the alley, making both of us wince. “Because I didn’t want to mess up what we had. And now… now everything’s so fucked up, and I don’t know what to do.”
He’s staring at me like I’ve just shattered something precious, and I realize that maybe I have. Maybe I’ve just ruined everything by saying what I never wanted to admit, by letting him see how scared I am.
“Kon, I could never think that about you,” he says, his voice thick with emotion, and it’s like he’s reaching out to pull me back from the edge.
I laugh, but it’s bitter and raw, and I hate how much I sound like Lex in that moment—hating myself for something I can’t control. “Maybe. But then this alternate timeline comes along, and suddenly all these feelings I’ve been burying get dragged to the surface. I didn’t ask for this, Tim. I didn’t ask to find out that some other version of me was in love with you.”
He looks like I’ve just slapped him, and I feel like the world is crumbling around us. “You think I wanted this either?” he challenges, his voice shaking. “You think I wanted to be put in a position where I have to question every damn thing I feel for you? Where I have to wonder if maybe I just wanted to believe it so badly that I let myself fall for something that was never going to be real?”
“I don’t know what’s real anymore,” I admit, my voice breaking under the weight of it all. “I don’t know what I feel. I just… I know that when I look at you, I feel something, and it scares the hell out of me.”
And there it is—the truth I’ve been running from. The truth I’ve been burying for years. I’m scared. Scared of what this means, of what it could do to us. Scared that I’m not enough, that I can’t be what he needs me to be.
He takes a deep, shuddering breath, and I can see the pain etched into every line of his face. “I’m scared too, Kon."
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**Tim**
He looks so lost. I’ve seen Kon face down some of the worst that the universe has thrown at us—monsters, villains, cosmic horrors—and he’s always come out on top, confident and unshaken. But right now, he looks like he’s barely holding it together, like the weight of everything is threatening to crush him. And it breaks my heart because I know this is partly my fault.
Maybe I shouldn’t have said anything. Maybe I should’ve kept my feelings buried, locked away where they couldn’t hurt anyone, least of all him. But I didn’t, and now here we are, standing in the middle of Crime Alley, both of us scared out of our minds because we don’t know what comes next.
But when I look at him, really look at him, I can’t bring myself to regret it. Because as terrifying as this is, as confusing and overwhelming as it feels, I know one thing for certain: I don’t want to lose him. Not now. Not ever.
“I’m scared too, Kon,” I whisper, my voice trembling as I take a step closer to him. “But maybe… maybe we don’t have to figure it all out right now. Maybe we just start with what we know, with what we feel, and take it one step at a time.”
He doesn’t say anything right away, just stares at me with those blue eyes that have always seen right through me. I can see the conflict in them, the hesitation, the fear, but there’s something else too—something I hadn’t dared to hope for. Something that makes my heart race even as my chest tightens with anxiety.
He takes a deep breath, his hands flexing at his sides like he’s trying to decide whether to reach out to me or pull away. “And what do we feel, Tim?” he asks, his voice low and rough, like he’s afraid of the answer. “What do you feel?”
I swallow hard, my throat tight as I force the words out. “I feel… I feel like I’ve been lying to myself for a long time. Like I’ve been pretending that being just your friend was enough when it never really was. I feel like every time I look at you, I’m afraid that it’s the last time I’ll get to see you. And I feel like if I don’t tell you the truth now, I’ll regret it for the rest of my life.”
His breath hitches, and I see something flicker in his eyes—something like hope, but fragile and tentative. “And the truth is…?”
I take a shaky breath, my heart pounding so hard I’m sure he can hear it. “The truth is… I love you, Kon. I have for a long time, and I’m done pretending that I don’t. I don’t know what that means for us, or if you even feel the same way, but I had to tell you. I had to say it.”
He closes his eyes, and for a terrifying moment, I think I’ve made a horrible mistake. But then he opens them again, and there’s a clarity in his gaze that wasn’t there before. “Tim… I don’t know what I’m supposed to say to that. I don’t even know how I’m supposed to feel right now. But I know one thing: I care about you. A lot. More than I’ve ever let myself admit.”
He takes a step closer, closing the distance between us until we’re standing barely a breath apart. I can feel the warmth radiating off him, and it’s like a lifeline, grounding me in this moment, in this reality. “I’ve been running from this, from us, because I was scared. Scared of what it would mean, scared of losing you. But I don’t want to run anymore, Tim. I don’t want to keep pretending that what I feel for you isn’t real.”
I can hardly breathe, hardly think as his words sink in. He’s not running. He’s here, with me, and he’s not pushing me away. He’s *choosing* me.
“Kon…” I whisper, my voice shaking with emotion.
He reaches up, cupping my face in his hands, his touch gentle but firm. “I don’t know where this is going to take us, Tim. But I’m willing to find out if you are.”
For a moment, the world stops. It’s just the two of us, standing in the middle of this dark, empty alley, holding onto each other like we’re the only solid things in the universe. And maybe we are.
“I’m willing,” I whisper, my hands gripping his shirt like he might slip away if I don’t hold on tight enough. “I’m so willing.”
And then he’s kissing me.
It’s not tentative or hesitant. It’s like everything we’ve been holding back, everything we’ve been too scared to admit, comes pouring out in that one perfect, life-changing kiss. His lips are warm and soft against mine, and I can feel the way his breath hitches as he pulls me closer, like he’s trying to memorize every second of this moment.
I kiss him back with everything I have, pouring all the fear, all the love, all the uncertainty into it, trying to tell him without words that this is where I want to be. That this is where I’ve always wanted to be.
When we finally pull apart, we’re both breathless, our foreheads resting against each other as we try to catch our breath. I can feel his heart pounding against my chest, and it matches the frantic rhythm of my own.
“Tim,” he whispers, his voice raw and full of emotion. “I’m scared. But I don’t want to lose you. Not now. Not ever.”
I smile, a real, unburdened smile that I haven’t felt in what seems like forever. “You’re not going to lose me, Kon. We’ll figure this out. Together.”
He pulls me into another kiss, and this one is slower, more deliberate, like he’s savoring the moment, committing it to memory. And I do the same, letting myself get lost in him, in this feeling, in the knowledge that we’re going to be okay.
Because for the first time, everything feels like it’s exactly where it’s supposed to be.
We stay like that for a long moment, wrapped up in each other, the world around us fading into the background. It’s like everything we’ve been carrying—all the fear, all the uncertainty—has been lifted, if only for a little while. And for the first time in what feels like forever, I feel… okay. I feel like maybe we can do this—like maybe we can be something more than just the sum of our fears.
After a while, he pulls back slightly, his hands still resting on my waist as he looks at me with those bright blue eyes that have always seen straight through me. “Tim… thank you.”
“For what?” I ask, genuinely curious.
“For not giving up on me,” he says, his voice filled with emotion. “For being here, even when I wasn’t sure if I could do this.”
I smile, leaning in to press another kiss to his lips, this one sweet and lingering. “You don’t have to thank me for that, Kon. I’m always going to be here for you. No matter what.”
He nods, his grip on me tightening for a moment before he finally lets out a breath, like he’s been holding it in for too long. “So… where do we go from here?”
I chuckle softly, feeling a sense of relief wash over me. “Well, for starters, we could go get some coffee. Maybe talk things through, see where we stand. Then we’ll take it from there.”
He laughs too, the sound light and genuine, and it makes my heart swell with warmth. “Coffee sounds good. And… I think I’d like that. Taking things one step at a time.”
We share a smile, and it feels like something has shifted between us, something important. It’s not that all our fears have magically disappeared or that everything is suddenly perfect. But it’s a start—a first step toward something new, something real.
As we start to walk out of the alley, side by side, I can’t help but feel a sense of hope. This isn’t going to be easy—nothing worth having ever is—but we’re in it together. And maybe, just maybe, that’s enough.
We reach the end of the alley, and for a moment, we pause, looking out at the city lights twinkling in the distance. There’s a quiet sort of peace that settles over us, like the calm after a storm.
“Tim,” Kon says, his voice soft as he looks at me. “No matter what happens, I want you to know that I… I care about you. More than I ever thought possible.”
I smile, feeling a warmth spread through me that has nothing to do with the chilly night air. “I care about you too, Kon. And I’m glad we’re finally being honest about that.”
He grins, and it’s like a weight has been lifted off his shoulders. “Yeah. Me too.”