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1.
The day Luke figured out that Julie was ticklish, she knew her life was over.
And the worst part? It wasn't even him who found out.
It was Saturday, it was California, it was early afternoon, it was hot. The shirt she had put on that morning wasn't cropped, but now she had no choice – either tie it around her waist and make it cropped or die of heatstroke.
So that was where they were, rehearsing in the garage and finishing up a new song. In spite of the heat, they were on a roll. The instruments and harmonies coming together, building up to this huge chorus in the end… but there was something missing, and she couldn't figure it out from behind her keyboard.
She walked up to Alex and closed her eyes. "Go over that again, just you."
He did, giving her the beat of the bridge as she hummed. Then again. And again. She was this close to figuring out that missing something when Reggie's voice and a finger poking her bare side broke her concentration. "Hey, look, you got a mole here!"
The shriek that came out of her was one hundred percent involuntary and embarrassing. Automatically, her elbows came down to lock at her sides as she jumped a foot away from him.
Reggie looked very confused at her reaction, raising his hands as a peace offering. Alex raised his eyebrows and chuckled, shaking his head and restarting the beat as she recovered. And, for a single moment, she thought that would be it. They would get back to rehearsal and life would go on. No more poking Julie.
Of course, she was never that lucky.
"Hey, Julie?"
She closed her eyes again, trying to get lost in the beat. She pretended not to hear the smirk in his voice. "Hmm?"
"Are you ticklish?"
Luke's voice was so much closer than she'd expected, and she jumped again. Somehow, he had walked right up to her, wearing an insufferable and very, very dangerous grin, and she knew what he was thinking. And she couldn't let it happen, for a number of reasons.
Firstly, being tickled was extremely undignified. She was rendered useless, shrieking and begging, tears gathering in her eyes – although the only people ever allowed to do that to her were her parents, Flynn, and Carlos when he wanted something. Nobody else had ever gotten close enough to get that reaction. Looking into Luke's eyes now, though, she knew it wouldn't stop him.
Secondly, she was literally on the edge of figuring out what their song needed, honestly, and if they let her focus for a minute, she would have it. It was partially ruined anyway, because she was hyperaware now and there was no going back. Breathing next to her could set her off at this point. But still.
And lastly… Luke. That's it. That's the tweet. They had already been touching so much over the past few weeks that she knew she wouldn't be able to handle… this.
Julie turned to him and raised her hands in front of her. "No."
Luke advanced, pulling his guitar strap off and holding the instrument's neck. "You sure about that?"
"We're in the middle of rehearsal. Alex and I–"
"I'm sure we could all use a little break." He held his guitar out and Reggie fricking took it for him, like, what a traitor.
"Don't–" she almost tripped as she backed away. "Don't you dare."
His answering, mischievous smirk was the last thing she saw before she bolted out of there. It was a state of such panic and desperation that she didn't think her escape plan through – she couldn't, there was no time. It was fight or flight mode (definitely flight). So she ran around Alex's drums, Luke hot on her heels, and then across the studio until she was behind the piano.
Luke stood on its other side, hands on top of the black wood. "You know I could just poof over there, right?"
It sent a shock of panic through her and she full-on whined, "Noo, that's not fair, you wouldn't."
"I would, though."
He would, she had no doubt, so she panicked, again, and ran towards the couch, jumping over an armchair and walking on top of the cushions. Luke was quick, way too quick, and rounded the coffee table to catch her on the other side, so she had to walk back across the cushions and trip over the armrest but somehow she ended up on her feet and ran around the piano again.
Then she noticed that Alex had started to play a beat to their chase and Reggie had joined in.
"Guys!" she called them out, stuck behind the piano.
They didn't look sorry.
Luke casually leaned forward. "You know this is useless, right? You should just give up and accept your fate."
Julie did her very best to keep her eyes away from his arms as she tried to think of an escape route. Every time she took a step sideways, Luke mirrored her, getting more and more smug. There was very little chance of tricking him into going for one side and going for the other, and there was no way she could outrun him for long inside the studio. He could easily block the exit if he wanted. Plus, her dad might think she had definitely gone off the deep end if he caught her running outside and shouting at absolutely nothing.
Sending out a silent prayer, she faked left and took off right, going for the stairs that led to the loft. Maybe if she were up there, she could threaten to kick his face if he tried to climb up. Yes, he would still be able to poof up there, but maybe if she begged enough–
Arms caught her around the waist from behind and her feet left the ground. She knew she shouldn't make so much noise, but it was involuntary, okay? Laughter was already bubbling out of her in desperation and he wasn't even tickling her yet. All she knew was that she was being carried towards the couch and she thrashed and thrashed, but it was useless.
Rule number one of getting tickled: never let yourself be put down horizontally. It was too vulnerable of a position. Unfortunately for her, Luke apparently knew that, because that's exactly what he did – he put her down on the couch and immediately let his fingers dance across the exposed skin of her stomach and her sides.
Julie thrashed some more. And shrieked. And tried to push him away, to no avail. She probably wasn't very coordinated in her attempts, but who could blame her? She was too busy trying to anticipate his moves and protect herself with her arms.
"Told you it was useless," Luke said, throwing her a curve ball and poking her neck in the midst of it all. "You should've surrendered, then I might've been merciful. Now you're gonna suffer."
She didn't recognize any specific words coming out of her mouth, but apparently it was so funny to him. He was laughing almost just as much as her.
It was bargaining time. There was nothing else to do, she was out of air. She wouldn't stop being ticklish, she couldn't physically overpower him, and he showed no signs of letting up any time soon. Thus, bargaining time, even if forming words was hard.
"What was that?"
She tried again, slapping his hands away from her neck only for them to meet her stomach and vice versa.
"Oh, really? Hey, guys! You hear that? She likes my solo in Avenue now! What'd you call it again?" Luke turned his attention back to her, never stopping his motions. "Obnoxious? Loud? Presumptuous?"
"Yes!"
"Yes?"
Oh, wrong thing to say, Julie.
"But– it's– good!"
"I dunno, man, I feel like you might just be saying that so I'll stop tickling you, and that hurts, Jules."
Then he let up, just a little bit. It was probably on purpose, too, but who cares, she saw an opportunity and she was going to take it. She tried – keyword: tried – to push his hands away and turn on her side so she could sit up or roll to the floor, but he caught on to it and poked her ribcage (also known as the Make Julie's Muscles Turn to Jelly button).
"Nuh-uh. You have to say it."
It was ridiculous. The whole tickling thing hadn't started because she'd given him some constructive criticism on a solo of his the week before, so there was no logic in it being the condition for him to stop.
"I could do this all day."
And the worst thing was that she believed him. She, on the other hand, couldn't do this for another second, so she gathered her strength to shout, "You can have it!"
"Come again?"
"The solo, you can have it!"
"Cool!" his hands withdrew from her and he sat back on the couch beside her legs. "Thanks, Julie. Knew you'd come around."
It was way too hot for this. He was way too hot for this, with that smug little smile. Her face was probably red and blotched, completely unattractive, and he wouldn't stop looking at her. Afraid that he would change his mind, Julie pushed herself up and away.
It was the end of that. After she got some water and Luke promised to behave (and Julie silently threatened Reggie and Alex to keep their mouths shut), rehearsal continued. She managed to figure out the missing beat to the sound. They worked on the guitar solo to make it less obnoxious.
2.
The fact that Luke had that information now, though, and, honestly, that power, put Julie on edge.
He borderline abused said power. Whenever he walked past her, he would stick a finger out and poke her, pulling an indignant shriek from her. When they were sitting on the piano bench, working out their harmonies, he would do the same, making her mess up the high note. He would randomly tickle her neck when she was eating. He had even had the audacity to poof in when she was talking to her dad and wiggle his fingers threateningly, hovering them above her ribcage as she'd tried to keep her voice steady.
It was bad. So, so bad. Because before, back when they couldn't touch, it wasn't a concern. Yes, she longed and pined, wishing that her hand didn't go straight through his just so she could pretend their relationship wasn't as doomed as it was. Just so it wouldn't be just her daydreams. Then they could touch, and Luke was a very touchy person who immediately transferred that to her, driving her absolutely insane. This was… next level.
It was complicated, okay? She could pretend not to see the way he looked at her, but refusing to acknowledge it didn't make it any less real. Before, she had pushed it away – her boys had to either cross over, be in a band without her for eternity, or be destroyed. No point in trying to figure out if he returned her feelings or not. There was too much going on.
Now, Julie let herself notice. She didn't have much experience with boys – or at all, since an unrequited crush didn't count for dating experience –, but she knew herself. She knew how nervous and excited she got when he stood too close. She felt how her face lit up when he smiled at her. And she let herself notice all those things mirrored back to her.
(Flynn didn't need to know just yet that Julie had given up the pretense.)
Like later the next week. Wednesday, to be exact. She had seen Reggie strumming her mom's acoustic guitar on Tuesday – with permission – and a song had been born. The boys had agreed to something slower for once, something more stripped down ("Even Metallica pulls back sometimes, Luke. Calm down," Alex had put it nicely), so Julie wanted to highlight the vocals. She wanted to impress people with their harmony. With their perfect harmony.
That meant an afternoon with Luke on the piano, which was always a fun experience (both in the literal and in the sarcastic way). Alex and Reggie left them alone, because once they dove into music theory, it was probably unbearable for anyone else. Julie both loved and dreaded alone time with Luke, but especially now she was more on edge than usual.
"What was the scale again?" he asked, putting his right hand over the keys.
(It should be noted that he was seated on her right, which meant that, for him to reach middle C with his right hand, as he always insisted on doing, he had to cross it in front of himself and push against her shoulder. Every time.)
"D major."
"Yes, Julie, I do know the key we wrote this song in."
"And you know the scales."
"Not on piano, though, c'moooon," he whined as he played the D chord, then hesitantly tried to go over the scale – D-E-F#-G-A-B-C-D.
The C sounded awfully out of place, and he noticed, but Julie was faster to press down on the C#.
"Right," Luke said. "I stand by what I said before."
"Piano's not more complicated than guitar, in any way."
They probably would have continued with their banter. Really, the fact that their hands were touching – hers on the C# and his on the D – was almost normal by now. Yes, they did still get flustered, but they were functional now. But then Luke reached behind her with his left hand and poked her left side, causing her to jump and withdraw her elbows.
"So," he continued, as if he'd done nothing, "you go, I'd never stopped to think," he sang as he played the melody, D-D-D-F#-D-A. "And I was thinking we start a full octave apart and then I go up closer to you in the middle of it, like, I'd never stopped to think," this time he only sang.
It was her cue to pick up on what he'd done and translate it to the piano. She gestured for him to sing it again, slower, until she figured it out. D-D-D-F#-A-D. He repeated it over the notes until he had it down, then they ran through it together. A smile broke out in his face, and Julie reciprocated naturally – they did harmonize pretty well. So they wrote that one down.
"Then you stay with me for the next one," she said. "Had never crossed my mind," B-B-B-B-G-D, then she played his part like G-G-G-G-E-B, complimentary to hers. "And maybe the next one, too? That every time I blinked," D-D-D-F#-D-B, then she played for him B-B-B-D-B-F#, then both together.
Luke bit his lower lip, forehead furrowed in concentration. She was fairly sure that he'd be chewing on a guitar pick if he had one nearby. He placed his right hand hesitantly over the keys, silently asking her for space, which she gave him. Then he tried to play it and immediately forgot the right keys, so he had her show it to him a few times until he could play it.
Again, if only he used his left hand, this wouldn't be that much of a problem. But no, he insisted, turning his body in her direction and invading her space to reach his part of the harmony. He was right there. Right arm in front of her going over the melody as he hummed it and sang it in different ways, left arm still somewhat around her, with his hand holding the bench on her other side so he could lean forward. Seriously, his mouth was so close to her face.
"Okay, what if we…" Luke perked up and tried to play the harmony he had in mind, both of theirs at the same time. He couldn't quite reach the keys right, though, because his hand was in a horrible position.
Julie sighed. "Stop– No, you're making this way harder than it needs to be. Just–" she reached behind and grabbed his left hand, unwrapping it from around herself and putting it on the piano. "I know for a fact that you have enough coordination. Try now."
The corner of his lips turned up. Then he focused back down and, after a few tries, played the whole phrase. "Okay! Yeah, so I think we start together and I'll stay here before going up with you, to like, drive it apart a bit more on the time I blinked. Sing your part and I'll come in."
His idea was better, so they wrote it down.
"Then I'll go down in the end, so we're an octave apart again to repeat the chorus."
"But maybe for the second time you go up, instead."
"I could go up enough to meet you for the next verse?"
"And we fan out on the last word."
"Do it in canon after the bridge?"
"If you went first, it might be softer here…"
When they were on a roll, they were really on it. Multiple combinations being tried out, but they hardly ever disagreed on something. It was like they could anticipate the next thought the other was going to have before they even realized it.
Another thing that happened without Julie realizing was Luke using his right hand again. Maybe because he got excited and it was harder to keep up with his non-dominant hand – anyhow, he was so in her personal space, it was ridiculous. His fingers flew between hers when he couldn't wait to show her his idea, getting caught in his haste. The cold metal of his rings brushed against her knuckles. His bracelets skimmed over her wrist's skin. His left hand was behind her again, holding onto the bench. His breath hit her cheek every time he turned his face.
"How's the A7 again?"
Patiently, she pressed down A-C#-E-G. He struggled to position his fingers from his hand's sideways angle, and she sighed again, giving him a look.
Luke rolled his eyes. "Okay, okay, fine. Left hand."
He did use his left hand, but not in the way that she'd expected. Instead of pulling it back and bringing it around to the front, he brought his arm fully around her and under her own left arm. In order to reach the keys in the correct octave, he had to move his hand to the right, unintendedly (intendedly?) pulling her very close to his chest. "A," he pressed down the chord, "and add the seventh," he used his right hand to press the G. "Right?"
Julie was looking down at the chord, but she honestly hadn't processed a word he'd said. It was probably right, because it sounded right, and Luke would know immediately if it wasn't what he wanted it to sound. Besides, it was ridiculous of him to ask if A7 was A plus the seventh – he knew that. Sure, he wasted some time on the piano trying to remember which key was which note, but he knew what he needed for the chord. Of course he knew. And why did his voice sound so breathy all of a sudden? Why was he almost whispering?
"Right," she managed to answer, matching his softer tone.
"Could you play that last part? I'll do the accompaniment down here."
So she did, praying that he didn't notice her shaky hands. She played the chords while he spread his left hand and played two octaves of the same, base note for each chord. He didn't need to press her against him to reach it anymore, but he didn't move away. Bm-G-A-A7. Their voices mixed in the middle.
When it ended, Julie tried to focus. "Ah, maybe you go down while I hold the final note?"
He nodded. "From the last chorus?"
They breathed in together.
I'd never stopped to think
Had never crossed my mind
That every time I blinked
Every time I smiled
Would add up to nothing
Nothing I'm proud to share
And every time I'd blink
Every time I'd stare
My chance would be slipping away
From my worn-out fingers
How many chances will I get?
How many more winters?
Her right hand played the closing D4 chord (D-F#-A). Luke was supposed to play the notes D2 and D3 with his left hand, a nice octave away from her, but that's not what he did. He played D3 with his pinky and his thumb came on top of hers on D4, playing it with her.
Even if her foot weren't on the sustaining pedal, the notes would have rung out until they faded, because neither moved their hands. Only after the sound faded out, Luke slowly moved his thumb over hers, hooking the two together. His arm was holding her tight against him again. His leg pressed against hers. He turned his face slightly, nose brushing her temple, and she–
She heard steps outside and, a moment later, he did too. They didn't spring apart anymore – those first few times when her dad or brother had walked in on them holding hands or cuddling, yes, they had jumped apart in a millisecond. It seemed kind of pointless now. Julie simply fought back the urge to turn her head as well and rest their foreheads together (because that would be a weird sight for her family), but kept holding his thumb. Luke didn't move away.
Her dad pushed open the door. "Hey, mija. Sorry to interrupt your songwriting."
Julie smiled genuinely. "It's fine. Luke and I are taking a small break," she nodded to her phone on top of the piano. She learned to always have it within reach whenever they were writing and singing, and also to casually mention that yes, she was writing with Luke. When she offered up the information, it meant her dad asked less questions and there was a smaller chance of him opening her FaceTime to try and say hi to Luke.
"The school called me," Dad went on. "Apparently, Carlos tripped and fell down on top of his arm during baseball practice, so I gotta go pick him up for some X-rays. I don't know how long it's gonna be. You'll be fine on your own for dinner?"
Her first instinct was to say yes. Dad spoke calmly, in a way that Julie knew that it hadn't been serious and she shouldn't be worried. And she wasn't, mostly. She didn't have to go; he wasn't asking her to. However, she remembered clearly how Carlos had been the last time they had gone to a hospital, and she immediately knew.
"I can just go with you," Julie offered.
"Really? You don't have to. I know how you two get when you're…" he seemed to search for the right word, gesturing, but ended up with, "writing."
She didn't want to get into it and blush, completely giving herself away, so she insisted, "No, no, it's fine. Gimme five minutes?"
Dad nodded and left, closing the door behind him.
Finally, she gave into the urge to lean back against Luke's shoulder, sighing and closing her eyes. His left arm embraced her waist completely, hand resting on her stomach. She reached for his free hand and took it. "I'm sorry. I know we're nearly finished, but… Carlos going to the hospital – He's just gonna be thinking about Mom, and I have to be there with him to distract him."
"It's fine, Jules," Luke said, lips hovering over her temple. "Is it your first time going to a hospital since…?"
She nodded mutely.
"Do you need me to go with you?"
"It's okay."
"Sure?"
"Yeah. We'll be fine. Thanks."
"Okay," he squeezed her a bit tighter. "I'll finish writing this down and show it to the guys. Can I come find you later when you're back?"
Julie nodded, eyes still closed, taking in all the comfort he was offering so she could be brave for her brother in a bit.
Luke repeated, "Okay," then he leaned down and pressed a gentle kiss to her cheek. "Yell if you change your mind. I'll be here."
Finally, she opened her eyes, but she wouldn't dare turn to look at him. Instead, she brought her free hand up to squeeze the arm around her waist before pulling away completely. She got up and moved behind him to leave. Just as she was walking past him, he reached out and pinched her side.
"Hey!" Julie jumped away.
He didn't answer or offer any excuse, just smiled at her unapologetically, which pulled an automatic smile from her. From the gleam in his eyes, she figured that had been his intention.
Later that night, when they were back home, the boys found her in her room. She wasn't moping, but it had been harder than she had anticipated, so they all cuddled around her and let her pick something for them to watch. She didn't remember falling asleep, just the feeling of being comfortable and safe.
3.
Having his left arm partially in a cast didn't stop Carlos from playing videogames and wanting to crash them all to prove he was better.
It was a week and a half later when Dad was out all day on a Saturday, for a wedding shoot, so they made the best of it. Mario Kart was honestly the most vicious game they could think of, which led to Julie, Carlos, and the phantoms in the living room in front of his Xbox. Since only four could play at a time, the person/ghost who finished last had to concede their controller. It was now Alex's turn to be out.
"It was completely unfair," he was saying as another race started. "It was that blue shell that Reggie threw on me on the last lap."
"You're just a sore loser," Reggie commented, turning his controller as if it would help turn the car on the screen.
Julie yelped in victory as her banana peel hit its intended target.
"Fuck, Julie! Stop that!" Luke complained, trying to elbow her on the couch.
"Language!"
"Oh, c'mon, he can't hear me."
"I can tell who's a sore loser, and I can't even hear them," Carlos said. His eyes were fixated on the TV, not blinking, holding his 2nd place with some difficulty behind Reggie. He aimed a green shell, missing the ghost – actually King Boo, because Reggie thought it was funny – by an inch.
Luke's Bowser hit Julie's Yoshi from the side, nearly throwing it off the bridge they were passing. "Luke!"
Then he stole the item box right in front of her.
"Luke!"
"Sorry, Jules, but it's Mario Kart. No mercy."
Oh, he was going to get it.
They were entering the last lap and the chances of the two of them catching up to Reggie and Carlos (still fighting for the first place) were slim. It was down to who was going to lose the controller to Alex, and Julie knew it couldn't be her. No way.
The problem was that Luke was good. Been playing since '94, like he claimed, and it sure looked like it. Julie was good, too, you see, and therein lay the problem. They weren't Carlos great or Reggie amazing, but they were both good enough to know how to use their preferred characters and items to make it the most violent and competitive game that could be played. They were pretty matched.
So Julie wasn't above cheating.
When they were taking a long turn together, she obnoxiously raised her elbow to knock his and make him release the pressure on the button for a second, enough to pull him off course.
"Hey, stop that!"
"Stop what?"
From the corner of her eye, Julie caught him glancing at her, naturally not buying it. Casually, she rose to her knees on the couch and leaned to the side to limit his view. Luke put his knee to her hip and pushed her away with a grunt, making her lose her balance and fall onto Alex, who complained loudly.
It wasn't gonna deter her, though. She kept on playing, half on top of Alex, and pushed Luke's arm with her socked foot. He wrestled it. "Hey, stop that! That's not fair!"
"You pushed me first!"
"Only cuz you fucking blocked my– Hey! Who's a sore loser now?"
"Gonna be you in a minute."
"Oh, you talk loud for someone who needs to cheat to win."
"I dunno what you're talking about."
They kept on wrestling for the rest of the lap, neither Carlos nor Reggie paying them any mind, and Alex expressing his discomfort every few seconds at Julie occupying his space. When they got to the final straight, though, something seemed to snap in Luke after a particularly well-aimed kick and he muttered, "A'right, that's it." He kept holding the accelerate button, eyes on the screen, but took his other hand from the turns and wriggled his fingers under Julie's foot, which was right next to his arm.
Her shriek was so loud, it could have ruptured eardrums. She withdrew her feet, folding into fetal position in desperation and did her best to focus on the game.
Luke didn't let up, though. Somehow, he'd managed to keep his kart right on the center of the road going forward in a clean line, slightly ahead of her now, so he had one free hand to keep trying to find one of her feet to keep tickling her. Her feet were a whole other level of ticklish, so Julie couldn't really be blamed for going into survival mode.
Needless to say that Luke crossed the finish line before her.
As soon as he did, he ditched the controller and turned to her fully. He grabbed both of her ankles from under her and pulled, and her legs were so weak that she let him. Julie lay on her back across Alex's lap, wriggling from side to side, useless as Luke tickled her feet much more than what was strictly necessary. He had already won, what was the point, ohmygod, could he stop?
She might have said that out loud as well, although it did little to erase the look of confusion on Carlos's face from his place the floor. Reggie watched on amusedly, while Alex tried to take himself away from the situation.
"This," Luke was saying, "is so you learn what a cheating liar you are and how it'll get you nowhere here! Now hand over the controller," he stopped abruptly.
Julie nearly fell from the couch, but managed to sit up between the two ghosts and glare at him, feet under herself again, arms protectively crossed around her stomach in case he got any ideas. She glared at his shit-eating grin, too smug for her taste and huffed. "You cheated too."
"Only cuz you cheated first."
"That's not the point–"
The controller was pulled from her hands as Alex said, "Oh, look, Carlos already chose the next map."
Even though Luke was busy playing the next race, Julie was too sensitive to sit next to him after all that. And with good reason too, because he would release one of his hands from the controller and poke her ribs every chance he got – obviously for no freaking reason except for driving her up the wall, since she wasn't playing –, so she got up to get a snack.
In the end, Alex had to sit between them to keep the cheating to a minimum, even if it only meant that he got (even more) caught in the crossfire.
1.
Geography and Julie weren't good friends. They were barely acquaintances, if she was being honest, which meant that she always had a hard time before a test. Especially now that she knew she had to do well to keep up with the band.
This found Julie past midnight on her bed sitting crisscross, laptop open in front of her, unable to absorb any information in front of her. She only had her string lights on, otherwise Dad would notice and tell her to go to sleep because it "helped with fixing knowledge in her brain" or whatever. Her eyes were burning.
A light knock on the window startled her, and she found Luke sitting outside, a question on his face. With a sigh she gestured for him to come in.
(She didn't even ask what he was doing there. This had happened before – he claimed he was "checking on her" to see if she'd gone to bed on the days that he knew she was prone to pull an all-nighter. It was sweet and irritating.)
"You okay?"
Julie shrugged, turning back to her computer and whispering, "I feel like I won't remember anything tomorrow. Hell, I don't even remember it now."
"Yeah, Geography sucks," he offered, walking up to the bed. "Wish I could help."
Apart from going to school with her and actively helping her cheat during the test, there wasn't much he could do. She still gave him a small smile, though, for the intention, and he returned it with a bigger one.
"Let's see whatcha got there," Luke said, kicking off his vans and climbing onto the bed. Instead of sitting next to her, though, he tried to squeeze himself into the space between her and the headboard, which was definitely not big enough for him. After a few monosyllabic words and half-words, a bit of swearing, shoving, and wiggling forward on her part, he managed to fit.
Julie was about to open her mouth and comment on how inconvenient he was when he leaned forward, chin on her shoulder to check her laptop. "Tropical rainforest. Tropical savanna. Desert. Yikes," he scrunched up his nose.
For lack of anything to do, Julie sighed, dejected, very consciously ignoring his legs on either side of her. She was not going to think about how she was sitting between his legs. She was not. "I memorized one thing, though: California's climate is mostly Mediterranean."
"Betcha Desert can be found on deserts, too, so that's two things you know."
She chuckled as lowly as she could so she wouldn't make much noise, and then she was back to worrying again. Luke noticed. "Hey," his voice sounded close to her ear. "We've watched you study all week for this. It's gonna be fine."
"I could've studied for a whole month, and it wouldn't have made a difference."
"More the reason for you to stop now. Julie, really, can you even remember the last sentence you read?"
She could not.
"It's not gonna matter now," he insisted, and she did her best to focus on what he was saying, which was hard, because she felt his hands touching her waist. "You can't take in more information. Let this pretty head of yours rest a bit. Sleep."
It sounded tempting and, somewhere deep inside of her, she knew he was right. There was no point in forcing her brain anymore – whatever she was going to learn, she had in the past week, and no amount of cramming was going to change that. She really needed to sleep.
"You even forgot to take off your necklaces."
Cool fingertips touched the back of her neck, which was left exposed, her hair up in a messy bun. Julie stayed still as Luke opened the clasp on each one, slowly unwrapping them from her and, one by one, putting them away on her nightstand. Every time his fingers brushed her skin, a shiver went through her body.
Even after he was done, he lingered on the back of her neck, pushing away the baby hairs, nails skimming the skin, knuckles moving in unclear patterns. Somewhere deep inside, Julie was aware that she should be feeling ticklish right now. Maybe it was the tiredness (of course). Either way, she felt herself leaning back into the caress, back finally resting against his chest.
It turned out to be counterproductive, because then he couldn't caress her neck anymore. In lieu of that, his arms came back around her, hands resting on her sides. Julie closed her eyes, sighing again and feeling her body sag. She had needed a break.
The caresses didn't stop, though. Gradually, he restarted, thumbs moving back and forth on her waist. It was almost hypnotizing, too calming to be true. She let herself get lost in it and enjoy it, too comfortable to care.
Then something caught her attention. His hands moved lower, slowly, until they reached the hem of her shirt. It had ridden up when she had leaned back, leaving a tiny crack of skin exposed. As if afraid that she was going to push him away if he moved too fast, Luke kept on caressing, bit by bit moving his thumbs under the fabric. Once they were completely under – and she didn't push him away –, he bended his fingers and brushed his knuckles against her. It sent another shiver through her.
Julie could feel his hesitation, so she conveyed her consent by further melting into him and hoped that was enough. She wasn't brave enough for anything else at the moment; she was sure her hands would be shaking if she raised them.
The feeling of his fingers on her skin made the caress so much better. He wasn't cold like she had once expected, although he wasn't exactly warm either. It was a nice, room-temperature touch.
She was reminded again of her lack of feeling ticklish when Luke braved farther up and skimmed her ribcage, the lightest of touches. She shivered. It was close enough to more dangerous territory to keep her more alert (she was not wearing a bra), but she simply knew she didn't have anything to worry about.
He didn't go further than that, just alternated the places he caressed. She never once felt ticklish, not even the idea of it, and he didn't push either, keeping his ministrations gentle. In all honesty, even though she was still in a very much upright position, Julie thought she might have fallen asleep.
The tiniest of movements caught her attention again. Luke breathed deeply (out of reflex? They didn't completely understand it), moving her up and down with his chest. When she came back down, his head was turned towards her more. Slowly, he leaned down and his nose touched her cheek. Julie didn't know how to explain it from a ghost point of view, but she felt his breath against it.
Luke stayed there a while, keeping her close. Then she felt his lips parting and held her own breath in anticipation. The release didn't come, though. She could hear his slightly labored breath, or maybe it only sounded labored because of how close it was to her ear. Either way, she unconsciously matched it.
Then he moved. In an excruciating pace, he nosed her jaw – well, not exactly, because he wasn't touching her, but he might as well have been. When he reached her chin, he retraced his steps, founding himself back at the angle of her jaw. He started going down, then, along the length of her neck, and she instinctively leaned her head back and slightly to the other side.
It was a weird feeling. She wasn't ticklish, but it was close to it. Her skin became super sensitive, feeling him as though there wasn't half an inch between them. She wanted to recoil her neck at the same time that she wanted to give him more access. It was intoxicating.
By the time he reached where her neck met her shoulder, leaving goosebumps on his way, Julie thought she was close to bursting. The air was charged. She was paralyzed, stuck in place. It felt like an eternity passed and then… and then she heard him lick his lips, letting them fall open again and hesitating before finally, finally, making contact. Julie had to suppress a shiver that made her want to shrug, like an electric current. His mouth stayed in place for two heartbeats before pulling away with a very distinct kissing sound, and then pressing down on the same spot again, with more confidence.
The amount of times she had sighed in the last few minutes was more than she had done in the last month, probably. She couldn't help it – the air was still charged, but it felt like little pieces broke every time he pecked her skin. And he pecked her skin a lot, from the neckline of her shirt on her shoulder to the spot behind her ear, he took his time working through it all.
Julie didn't know how much time had passed when he pressed a meaningful kiss to her cheek. It was a calling, a question, an invitation, lingering. Her heart was loud in her ears, hands slightly trembling on their spot by her stomach, near his. But she knew she had no choice. Knew she was going to follow his calling.
Her head turned to him, eyes focused on his lips, so, so close. She could feel his gaze on her, burning, but she was already moving. No time to turn back. It was a magnet pulling her forward, making her gravitate toward him even if she didn't exactly know what she was doing, had no experience whatsoever.
She lifted her chin, and her nose skimmed his mouth until it slotted itself next to his own, her lips coming forward to meet him.
It wasn't fireworks; it was white noise. The rush of blood in her ears. Their coordinated intakes of breath. Her heart going into overdrive. The feeling of oh.
Their lips disconnected briefly, only so they could come together again, slightly more forcefully, reminiscent of the first kiss Luke had given her neck. Julie breathed in again and let it out shakily. Then she felt the tips of his fingers touching the underside of her jaw, so gently she almost couldn't feel them. He gained confidence with a few more presses of their mouths and let his fingers brush her jaw and cheek, and Julie got the feeling that he was hesitating, as if he wanted to do… something.
The question was soon answered. After a particularly long kiss, lips parting more and more, the hand under her shirt clenched onto her waist. His other hand, which had been skimming her jaw indecisively, suddenly moved down. Julie felt him take the computer from her lap and put it away on the mattress, hand quickly returning to grab behind her knees and turn her 90o, her legs now thrown over his left one. Her neck cheered in relief at not having to be at such an odd angle anymore.
Still a bit unsure, Julie lifted her arms and touched her hands to his chest. With the way he was pressing back, though, she needed a bit more leverage, even with one of his arms now around her back holding her waist, so she did the only logical thing and held onto his neck on either side of it. During that transition, they almost lost their balance. Luke's hand flew from her knees to the side of her head to keep her in place as they shared a small chuckle at their own clumsiness. Then they were kissing again.
It was a while later when the thought occurred to Julie – was she on his lap? Was that…? Could that be considered being on his lap? She was seated between his legs, yeah, with hers over his left thigh, feet dangling on the blanket. Was it close enough? Had they crossed the line from just kissing? Was this making out?
She probably shouldn't be overthinking this, but… it was her first kiss. Or first make out session. Or first time being on a boy's lap. She wasn't sure.
What she was sure, though, was about how right it felt. She could see Flynn's face, tomorrow at school, when she recounted the events, and there would definitely be some judgement (after the squeals), but Julie couldn't feel bad about this, about giving in. It had always felt like it was just a matter of time. She couldn't help her feelings pouring out of her any more than she could help cupping his face right now, latching onto it like a lifeline and letting him lead the way.
(Yes, she understood the irony of him being her lifeline. Let her be.)
His thumb slid to the corner of her mouth and she felt her jaw falling open instinctively, even though he hadn't put any pressure there. Then she felt his tongue tentatively venturing into her mouth and brushing hers once, twice, before retreating. He sealed it with another kiss and pulled back an inch, just enough to smile. She returned it with a giggle.
Luke's smile widened at that and he kissed her again. He started pecking her lips, and then moved to her cheek, then to her neck, overdoing it more and more until she was playfully pushing him away and shrugging to get him off.
"Oh, so now you're ticklish again," he mocked, arms firm around her so she wouldn't get away.
Julie dodged him and chided, "Stop! You can't make me laugh! Dad'll hear."
Having to say that in the lowest voice possible made it lose some of its intent, but the mention of her dad seemed to convince him immediately. "Okay, okay, I'll stop. C'mere," he put pressure on her waist to get her to rest against his chest. She gave him a pointed look, but went willingly.
Once she was sure he wasn't tricking her, she relaxed. Both his arms encircled her in a way that made her feel safe and comfortable, her head resting on his shoulder. Her fingers traced the letters and designs on his black, sleeveless tee.
After a few moments of silence, during which she suppressed a few yawns, Julie whispered, "You're a bad influence, you know."
She felt more than heard his chuckle.
"Thought you'd come up here to tell me to go to sleep so I'll do well on my test, and here we are."
Luke pressed a long kiss to her forehead, chuckling again. "I know," he sighed. "You should probably sleep, though."
Julie had every intention of not moving an inch and pretending to fall asleep on him, and then maybe actually falling asleep on him. However, with one last stroke to her waist and another kiss to her forehead, Luke pulled back a little, and it was enough.
Getting out of that position was way more awkward than getting into it. Eventually, Julie climbed to the other side of the bed and pulled the covers, while Luke closed her laptop and put it away on the couch. When he came back, she was already laying against her pillow. With a spring to his step, he came to her side and sat on the bed. "Hey, don't worry too much about it, okay? You're gonna rock it."
She rolled her eyes, but still appreciated his enthusiasm. His hand came to stroke her cheek a few times and she bit her lip. "And we can talk later?"
His soft smile lost some of its brightness for a millisecond before it was back to radiant. "Yeah. We'll talk later."
She didn't know how to do this, so she ended up going for the obvious. "Goodnight."
"'Night, Julie." Luke hesitated, then leaned down to press a kiss to her lips. They both smiled into it.
Julie thought he was going to poof out, so she was at least a little bit confused when he got up and walked to the window, as if he was going to go out through it. "You know you don't have to do that."
"Oh, I know," Luke smirked. "It's for the… What'd you call it? The aesthetic."
She shook her head amusedly, watching as he went through the window and started climbing down to the floor. It very much felt like they were regular teenagers and he was sneaking out of her room in the middle of the night before her dad caught them – and she supposed that was what he had intended it to feel like. A breath of normalcy for them before the conversation they knew they needed to have.
For now, though, Julie let the grin take over her face as she closed her eyes, knowing she wasn't going to get much sleep in the end and that it was for the best reason.