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She had always been invisible. Never noticed. She hated it. When her Quirk first manifested, her parents had panicked. It had only taken a couple of weeks for them to stop caring afterwards. She hated herself and she hated her Quirk and how she couldn’t turn it off. She hated how her parents didn’t notice when she entered a room, didn’t acknowledge her first and only provided when she reminded them. Otherwise, they lived their lives as if she wasn’t there. They didn’t take her clothes shopping. She had tried to get them to take her and they had gone. But after Toru entered the changing room, her parents were nowhere to be found. They left. Without her. Because even with clothing she was unnoticeable. She hated it.
Her older brother’s Quirk allowed him to reflect light off his body. Her little sister can emit different light waves. Neither are invisible like her. Her parents actually pay attention to them and… Toru hates them for it. She hates how her brother will bounce light off his body and redirect it into other people’s eyes. She hates how her brother will use his Quirk as a glorified flashlight or penlight. She hates that he’s not invisible like her and that her parents actually pay attention to him. She hates her little sister, Hishuha, who got seen and praised because she could send out waves of color from her palms. She hated that her little sister got recognized for something that was so stupid and worthless, while she got ignored for something that could be so useful. But no one paid attention to little Hagakure Toru, who could never be seen.
While Toru’s skin appeared to be transparent, it actually just naturally refracted light to appear transparent, otherwise people would be able to see all her gooey insides. They couldn’t. Toru didn’t know how her hair had the same properties. It got ridiculously long and sometimes she could feel it dragging behind her. Eventually she got fed up with it, poured paint over herself and cut it. Toru hated all the extra steps she had to take to be seen, noticed, taken care of.
Sometimes, she hated so much, she took a knife to her skin and peeled it away. It hurt, oh how it hurt, but at least she could see herself that way. Sometimes, taking a knife to her skin made her feel alive, the way nothing else did. As painful as it could be, as much as she wanted to scream sometimes, at least she became visible and knew through the blood split, she was human and she existed. After all, she felt pain, so she had to be alive and exist.
Sometimes Toru didn’t know if she was being selfish or not. She decided to work towards becoming a hero so she could be seen. It had nothing to do with helping others or even others like her. She just wanted the spotlight, to not be overlooked. Every time she raised her hand and didn’t get called on, only increased her ire. Toru wasn’t afraid to admit it. She was bitter. She was cynical. And when Shinsou got in the class, she felt like he was a kindred spirit. Not that he knew. How could he know? At least he got attention. But he also felt the system’s failures and how it burdened people like them. Cast them off to the side, made them feel unimportant, unworthy. He surely hated it too. But did he hate himself?
She did.
She hated her Quirk.
She hated her parents.
She hated her skin.
She hated the fact she couldn’t even see herself unless she dumped paint on her skin.
She hated it all.
Especially with how she acted to get any amount of attention.
Once upon a time, Toru acted exactly how she felt.
She learned it didn’t earn her any more attention than pretending.
Either way, she ended up being ignored.
Better to leave a good impression, be cheery and make people think you were at least a little bit personable.
If she behaved poorly, she just got called an attention-seeking whore.
As much as Toru wanted attention, she did not want that kind of attention.
Maybe it said something about how desperate she was. Or not. She didn’t know.
All she knew was that deep in her soul, laid an onyxian sea of hate and internal scorn of all she was, all she’d ever be. Invisible. Unnoticed. Unimportant. Looked over. Unseen.