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Regret.
A word that she had always believed would describe her. It was a feeling that followed her throughout her time at Angraecum. A feeling she had associated with her love toward Neri back in the past.
Years ago, she was finally able to toss off the chains weighing her down and confess to Komikado Nerine. This was due to how her feelings filled to the brim in autumn, so she spilled them to her best friend, Neri. However, they were met with rejection. Christian rejection of all of them. Her face had ached from Nerine's slap.
Despite that, someone had walked in and accepted her. Ringo Sasaki. Was it a coincidence the younger Sasaki was at the chapel where she had confessed to Neri?
Possibly not, but Ringo's acceptance of her had helped her during that tumultuous time.
They both had begun dating afterward, in the secret of course. The older Sasaki twin had confessed first after all. Things would have turned out badly if Sasaki Ichigo had realized that Yuzuriha was dating her younger sister and also if Yuzuriha's admirers had realized that she was dating someone at all.
Nevertheless, like all good things, the two's relationship soon came to a bend in the road after the elder Sasaki twin had discovered their relationship through one of the letters the couple had exchanged in the shoe cubbies.
Even that hadn't ended their relationship, the real "end" to it was Neri walking in a moment between Ringo and Yuzuriha. That was when she realized how fragile that love was. A love that had uplifted her from the chasms of her darkness, but she was only in it for the comfort of her reject love.
The school soon found out. Her classmates ostracized her due to many believing that Neri was her "spurned lover", and Ringo’s classmates isolated Ringo for appearing to have helped "spurn Nerine".
During that time, Neri avoided Yuzuriha which was the only thing reciprocated here.
This tension lasted until a "lucky break" occurred: Ringo had sprained her ankle while waiting at the chapel to meet with Yuzuriha on that night. So, Yuzuriha immediately rushed to investigate.
Why wouldn’t she, believing there to be a culprit.
The Sasaki twins both claimed that it was the Werewolf of the Belltower. The mystical creature apparently had frightened Ringo into falling and spraining her ankle. The implausibility of it made the actual background of her injury obvious to any oblivious outsider: someone had attacked Ringo.
Who could have it been?
She had attempted to ascertain the truth: there were only two sets of footprints going to the chapel and it was hers and Ringo's. However, Ringo’s shoes had something odd about them. Neither of them had mud near the tip of the shoes.
The day after, Yuzuriha attempted to continue her search. However, someone was following her. The gloves she threw from the glasshouse confirmed that. The mysterious stalker turned out to be Neri who wished to help Yuzuriha find the culprit. Maybe she felt guilt for distancing herself from Yuzuriha. So, Yuzuriha discussed what she had found so far with her. She shared all that she knew with her, but she never expected Neri to use that against herself.
So far, there was only one conclusion she could find from the evidence: Sasaki Ringo and Sasaki Ichigo have played another one of their pranks, but this time it was for the benefit of the younger twin.
So, she called a meeting with the intent of revealing a half-truth, a half-baked compromise, to the rest of the Council of Nicaea along with Sister Dalia.
Doing things half-heartedly never netted anyone good results, and the worst outcome was what happened: Neri Komikado confessed to the crime of attacking Ringo Sasaki. She described in detail only what the culprit could have known (in the eyes of the other members of the council) and struck down Yuzuriha's compromise with a sacrifice. Maybe if she had discussed what she was going to say to the council with Neri, that whole ordeal would not have occurred.
Neri was suspended and only came out of her room for meals. Her roommate had often seen her praying in her room (for what sins?).
Soon afterward, Yuzuriha was stricken by an "illness" following that ill-fated sentencing. She was confronted by three wise magi who came bearing gifts: Ichigo with her encouragement, Erika with her offensiveness, and her teacher with their shared background: loneliness.
She finally knew what she had to do: save Komikado Nerine. To do that, Yuzuriha had to find evidence proving Neri had an alibi the day the "attack" had occurred but somehow also not expose the twins' scheme.
Maybe this wasn't very moral of her as a Christian to do, but with Yaegaki's and her teacher's help along with their trusty assistants, Yuzuriha was able to find Neri’s diary which detailed her day-to-day goings.
On that day , Neri had written an entry. Her handwriting was shaky. She had felt something the day she witnessed Yuzuriha and Ringo almost kissing: was it jealousy? Disgust? Or something in between?
Yuzuriha wouldn't know unless she asked the woman herself.
The entry on the day of the incident had nothing odd. Until she had realized that Neri had looked from “head-to-toe” in her reflection. However, there were no mirrors long enough like that in her dorm room. To prove Neri’s innocence, Yuzuriha had to expose that, in the minutes Neri claimed to have, she had no time to push Ringo Sasaki since she was at the dorm during that time. Or more specifically, the fish tank area of it. Since the full-length mirror could have only existed in the fish tanks with the lights off.
That was the “smoking gun” she found, as Yaegaki would say. She fired the gun and broke through Neri’s lies. So, Neri was finally freed from a crime she didn’t commit but framed herself for it anyway.
However, she still had to tell her teacher the “key” to the mysteries of the school. Which she didn’t. So, her teacher was pissed at her.
“If you become president of the Council of Nicaea, that’ll give you a key to the door through which the truth can be found.”
A lie she had no intention of following through with. But one she had to decide on soon before she lost her friendship with Shirahane Suoh.
Although she didn't reveal her secrets, Sasaki Ringo revealed her own. Or more specifically Sasaki Ringo did. In one of her meetings with Ringo, she found out who she was actually dating: both Sasaki twins. Yuzuriha supposed she could make a joke about “Gotta catch them all” or something, but it was something she suspected in the back of her mind. Even though they were identical twins, there were things that the other didn’t know. Like when “Ringo” asked her “Have you ever been in love before, Yuzuriha-senpai?’ The real Ringo would have known that she had been in love before since she was there when Yuzuriha got rejected by Neri.
Getting back on track, Yuzuriha did eventually tell Shirahane Suoh the secrets she promised. She just wanted to make sure Suoh would have a support system in place for her when the school's secrets Yuzuriha had were revealed to her. The “Tulpa of Agape”, a clue Yuzuriha found while investigating the school, imprints on a piece of paper from a notebook, and the fact that her accident in the greenhouse was by “accident”. Shirahane Suoh will encounter the same “snake” that she had and will find no mercy from it. Hopefully, her friends would be enough to help her teacher float above the dark waters of the school.
Soon, the time for Christmas Mass soon was upon her. Neri and she sang “Tota pulchra es”. The last song Kohsaka Mayuri, Suoh’s lost lover, sang before her disappearance. A sort of ironic ring it had. Now, it was their song.
After the song had concluded and the audience had applauded, she told Neri her request.
After Christmas Mass ended, she made her trek across the snowy path to that icy pond. Her thoughts the time was filled with longing towards the Christmas party going on while she made her bet. A wager prompted by the change that her teacher had induced in her in their together.
“If you accept my feelings, come to the entrance to the secret lake at 9 p.m. tonight.”
The words she had uttered to Neri. She knew she was forcing Neri’s hand. A selfish and cowardly girl like herself had no right to, but she had to try one last time. Neri was the girl who was so fervent in her belief in God and had so much respect for her father who shared those beliefs. The girl who had rejected her before. The girl who arrived late.
Yuzuriha was planning to stay there in the cold and snow building on her and around her. Her frozen feet trembling as her eyes watered. She wanted to Neri to save her one last time, so she clicked the heels of her “silver slippers” three times just as Dorothy did.
“I kept you waiting, Yuzuriha.”
Komikado Nerine stood before her eyes. She wasn’t an illusion. She had kept their childhood promise again.
"Neri... I'm so happy you came. But being with me means-" She was interrupted by words she would never forget.
“I’m ready to give it all up.” She said with a bulging bag in hand.
“I’m ready to be with you. In sickness and in health.”
“I’ll abandon my faith. I’ll abandon this school. I’ll give it all up, until all that’s left is me and you.”
Neri really had a bunch of cool things to say on that day, didn’t she? Either way, they walked out of the school to an unknown future, together.
“Hey, Neri.” Yuzuriha calmly stated this as she raked her fingers through Neri’s short, golden hair.
“What is it, Yuzu?”
“What did you feel when you walked in on Ringo and me?” Yuzuriha was genuinely curious. She had always wondered what Neri's feelings were then.
“I wasn’t jealous. I was just surprised.” Neri said but when Yuzuriha turned around to face her. She could see Neri’s face take a red apple-like color.
“The diary entry that you wrote on that day tells me otherwise.” If she wasn’t truly didn’t feel anything at the sight, then why was her handwriting so shaky on that day?
“That doesn’t work as evidence against me. You stole it from my room with your “lockpicking” skills.” Neri said it as if it was a euphemism.
“Sorry, sorry. I just had to help you somehow.” Yuzuriha muttered, “After all, you had helped me so many times in the past before.”
“I know. And I’m glad that you helped me. Thank you.” Neri’s eyes were filled with warmth and love as she said this. Her room’s windows were not shut anymore. They were finally honest with each other.
“I love you, Neri.”
“I love you too, Yuzuriha.”
Yuzuriha would never replace this love she shared with Neri. Even if she had the chance to go back, she wouldn’t have chosen an unrequited love or even to stay as best friends. Although she may have been a Cowardly Lion in the past, now she was brave Dorothy trekking ahead with Neri by her side.