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A shiver races down Gavin’s spine, his back arching slightly. He’s coated in sweat, his body overheated to the point that he can barely keep his eyes focused on anything whenever they open. The pleasure surging through him keeps them mostly closed though. He can’t keep his breathing even, panting and gasping for air as his head hangs low, chin almost pressed into his chest.
His hand is reached out, fingers splayed against Nines’ abdomen as he rocks back against his body, moving his hips to meet Nines’ own. And Nines grips his thighs like a vice, holding him spread open, keeping one leg elevated and the other pinned to the bed in a bruising hold.
If he wasn’t keeping himself up with his other arm, and if he didn’t want to keep his hand against the indent in Nine’s body, against the warmth of his pump, Gavin would have his hand on his cock. Because he feels good, the fact that he can’t even keep his thoughts from getting jumbled up with a chorus of Nines, Nines, Nines only proves that. And yet he knows he’s not going to get off like this tonight.
He’s barely half hard, even with Nines managing to stimulate his prostate so perfectly. He’s shaking all over, fingers trembling against Nines’ skin. And he should be doing better than this.
But even with the thoughts of Nines, even with thoughts of how good he feels, Gavin’s head is just too loud. He can’t keep himself in the moment, can’t keep his focus on Nines, on them. Nines could hold out forever, hold off until Gavin came before he allowed himself to get off, and it’s the realisation that he’s already been doing that, that this has been going on for as long as it has with Gavin barely managing to get it up properly, that he realises he can’t keep going.
Guilt coils in his gut and his face contorts into a grimace. He started this, wanted this, dragged Nines to bed after teasing him for almost half an hour just so he could get fucked. And now he’s barely able to keep his head in it enough to keep himself from completely flagging.
Nines notices, the way that Gavin’s noises have tapered into almost nothing, the fact that he’s not pushing and tugging at his body anymore, the fact that his gaze is cast downward in shame. Nines’ pace slows, and that knot of guilt tightens in Gavin’s gut, enough to almost make him feel sick. Nines’ hands come away from Gavin’s legs and he leans into his boyfriends’ body more, LED flashing red briefly before it settles on yellow. Gavin can almost hear him asking what’s wrong, if he’s okay, if he’s hurt him.
Gavin runs his hand up from Nines’ chest to rest against the back of his neck while his legs curling around the androids waist. He glances up at Nines and his eyes sting. He hates it, he hates that he can’t get out of his own damn head for an hour or so to make Nines feel good, to give him something that he wants.
His lips part, an apology on his tongue but Nines steals it from him with a kiss. Because Nines gets it, he understands Gavin better than anyone else ever has. And it almost makes Gavin cry. He didn’t do anything right to deserve this, to deserve Nines, to have someone give a shit about him on the daily, to try their best to be what he needs in life.
Nines pulls out, and it’s hard for Gavin to ignore the fact that he’s taking Nines’ release away from him. But he doesn’t have the energy to try convincing Nines to keep going, to get himself off. He knows that Nines won’t want to. So, he just rolls onto his side with a loud sigh. Nines hesitates for a moment, unmoving until Gavin reaches back for him and he knows it’s okay for him to stay close, to continue to keep contact between them.
It’s a little distracting, having Nines lay against his back with his cock still hard, pressed into him, but Gavin knows he can ignore it. He finds Nines’ hand and pulls it around his waist, locks their fingers together and holds onto him as tightly as he can.
“Sorry,” and this time, Nines can’t stop him from saying it. Nines shuffles closer, his lips pressing against the nape of Gavin’s neck. And a moment later, Gavin’s phone buzzes.
He reaches out for it and opens up the message.
Nines: You have no reason to apologise and you know that. You’re not in the mood, there’s nothing wrong with that. I can tell your mind is miles away right now.
“Just don’t want you to think that… I didn’t feel good or anything like that.” Gavin murmurs, his voice low. Nines’ other hand, the one not being squeezed between Gavin’s fingers comes up to his chin, tipping his head back a little. Nines kisses the corner of Gavin’s mouth softly as another message comes through.
Nines: Even if it didn’t, that’s okay. You’re allowed to change your mind, I’m not upset. So long as you’re okay. That’s all I care about.
“Yeah, tin-can, I’m okay.” He’s mostly okay, he just needs to rest and then he’ll be fine, and he knows that. It’s nothing serious, just that sometimes he can’t keep himself from getting tangled up in his own thoughts. He looks back over his shoulder to Nines again before he drops his phone and turns over to curl up against the RK900’s chest. “I love you.”
Nines smiles softly and runs his fingers through Gavin’s hair. He mouths it back; I love you, before Gavin rests his head against Nines’ chest and closes his eyes.
He’ll make it up to Nines when he can, that, he’s sure of. Even if he'll wake up to a message from Nines telling him he doesn't have to.