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“If it weren’t for magic…”
The words of course sounded wrong when they first came out of his mouth, but even more wrong when Sara gave him a look. While he, her legal guardian simply wanted to say if it weren’t for magic she’d likely have found herself lying dead at the bottom of a tower, yet the words obviously held some kind of bitter sting for the young girl.
“If it weren’t for magic, I would never have attended Appleyard College for esteemed young witches. If it weren’t for magic, you’d have never taken me in and I’d still be with Albert.”
This resulted in a deep sigh from the man, knowing full well Albert left the orphanage young Sara found herself remaining in back when he’d tracked her down all those years ago. Of course, Sara didn’t know how much time he’d spent attempting to track her down after her mother died, nor could she possibly know how much effort went into procuring ingredients for a Polyjuice potion just so he might remain unnoticed both by those from Britain who might be looking for him as well as those who might suspect something was up here if he didn’t return the favor.
Of course, Sara would soon find out that and so much more about the man she knew by the name of Jasper Cosgrove that she didn’t already know.
“I see.”
“You don’t see. I didn’t belong there. I’m not a Pureblood like Miranda and Irma, but most certainly don’t have the family status Irma does. I’m not even a Half-Blood like Marion. I’m a measly Mud…”
“Don’t call yourself that. Even if you were…” He paused, thinking over his words carefully. “…a Muggleborn, don’t call yourself that name, but don’t ever let anyone put you down for your blood heritage.”
Sara’s small nose wrinkled up, reminding him of someone who tried ever so hard to explain to him why the whole Purebloods were superior was an issue. “You remind me of Siri.”
“Who?” Sara’s mouth twisted, meaning she was contemplating something, then she said. “I’m well aware you just said, ‘even if you were’ rather than ‘even though you are’.”
Of course, ‘Siri’ as he just referred to the specific person as would, in fact, be laughing his head off, noting how Sara was as precocious as he was at that young age, yet he definitely remembered directing his fiery intellect towards other things, such as the pursuit of falling in line with their family heritage and pointing out to ‘Siri’ how he was definitely wrong. ‘Siri’, who was, in fact, Sara’s off-hand namesake.
“Honestly, I don’t want to be going back to Britain with you.” She’d said that more than once since they’d left, and there’s not been much time in that regard, yet he’d hopped the long trip via boat rather than the Muggle device called an airplane would allow them to discuss things or at least have a couple of days to discuss things rather than a few hours. Of course, the small girl in front of him also tried escaping a tormentor he’d placed her under so carelessly, thinking she’d be safe – safer than with him given his past.
The past which was coming back to haunt him and why he found himself returning to the place of his birth, something he’d thought would never happen.
“I’d rather be with Alfred.”
“I know, but you can’t go through life without learning how to control your magic, Sara.”
Her mouth twisted. “You’re avoiding the question.”
“What if I were to say your maman was actually a witch?”
“Then Alfred would be a wizard because then he could perform magic.”
“Unless of course, he was a Squib.” The remembering of what was a rather rude awakening regarding how Purebloods treated even their own made him swallow, but he finally turned and looked her in the eye as she sat on the bed, dressed in the school uniform his mother would be so proud of, yet he wondered if he’d let her expectations get in the way of what was best for Sara. Of course, it was also the school's uniform for mourning purposes.
“What is a Squib.”
He sat down on the bed. “They’re someone with magical parentage who can’t use magic.” Looking at her and the fire in her silver eyes, he tried putting on a smile to ease the conversation despite knowing it would end up being quite terse. “So, I’d planned on telling you this when you were older, a whole lot of things, but since my rash decision of sending you to Appleyard resulted in you, unfortunately, finding out about Pureblood prejudices, I think it’s time to come clean on a few things.”
Sara looked away, obviously unamused by what he said.
“Specifically, your mother found herself blamed for your brother showing signs of being a Squib which resulted in her ending up divorced by her husband, yet also disowned by her own family who were the ones to insist she marry the man. This was before your born, nay, let alone conceived.”
This made the child look at him, her mouth twisting. “Alfred and I don’t have the same father?” One of her eyebrows went up. “Your face is acting funny.”
He let out a soft curse despite knowing she would hear before saying, “The Polyjuice potion is wearing off, but I suppose you don’t know what that is.”
A hand ran through his hair nervously, looking at her, but the look on her face was filled with anger and disdain. “I know what that is.”
“How?”
“Appleyard.”
That of course didn’t do anything for the nervous feelings, as that meant Appleyard was hiding just like he was, yet he wondered where she got her Polyjuice special ingredient from, though they’d yet to fully investigate the school when Appleyard herself disappeared. He took a deep breath, wondering how to best handle the subject.
“Why should I trust you?”
“Honestly, given my past, I wouldn’t blame anybody for not trusting me Sara.”
“I’d rather be with Alfred.”
“I know, I know. I don’t know where he is, but after the whole mess I’d rather keep you close and safe.”
“Why?”
“Why indeed?” He took a deep breath, feeling the potion begin to wear off, but then Sara said something.
“You look like me.”
“What?” His eyes opened.
“Or should I say I look like you,” the girl mused, showing a high level of intellect. “Your hair is darkening and there is silver in eyes.”
“I’d say you look like Siri.”
“Who’s he?”
“My older brother. More precisely, your uncle.”
“Then you should know why I want to be with Alfred.”
“Sara…” He took a deep breath. “It’s complicated. I mean, why you can’t be with Alfred and why I can’t say for sure I know why you want to be with Alfred. You and Alfred left on good terms, but Siri and I… Sirius and I were not on good terms when we last saw each other, but I’ve reason to not trust him when he should have been the one I should trust the most right now.”
“I wish you’d just be honest with me,” Sara pined, looking away again.
“I am trying to be but conversing with others has never been my strong point. Your mother, she was one of the few people to know my secret, the other being the person who helped me with my new identity.”
“Am I even legally yours?”
“Yes. You’re legally mine, but I think by now you should have figured out you’re my flesh and blood.”
“But you’re also one of them.”
“Them…”
“Don’t play coy. You’re someone with Pureblood prejudices, so should I perhaps find Sirius?”
“Uncle Sirius, and was is the operative word. My beliefs – no, the beliefs my parents were raised with were already very shaken when I met your mother, but it was the final straw. I did try to find you and Alfred once I learned she’d passed on and I’m sorry I didn’t find you before he was moved out of your orphanage.”
“You planned on adopting us both?”
“Yes Sara, I did.”
“Even though he’s a squib?”
“Even though my own maman would disown me for such an act and blast me from the family tapestry.” He let out a deep breath. “Regarding my past, I want you to listen to what I have to say about it without interrupting me, then feel free to interpret it as you will. Even ask questions to figure out your own feelings on the matter, but I honestly don’t expect any future affection from you. I just want you to be safe, and we are going into a very dark time, Sara. There is a chance what happened at your school is tied to the events unfolding.”
“I’ll listen, but I won’t promise that I’ll forgive you.”
“Considering I can’t forgive myself.” He closed his eyes. “When I was young, I was foolish. I bought into the idea that Purebloods were superior and believed it was our job to better the world. So, I joined up with a group of individuals who were fighting to change the world. Mind, you, I never killed anyone, but I might as well be guilty thereof as I was given the task of researching various things the Dark Lord wanted me to.”
“Dark Lord?”
“Also known as Voldemort. Nasty man, but I didn’t really see that until he hurt a good friend of mine, one that had been there since childhood.”
“Uncle Sirius.”
“No. Sirius was never fond of Kreacher.”
“You’ve got a mark on your arm. Under those scars that look like claw marks.”
A sigh left his lips, his silver eyes going to his arm. “Ah. That. Well, that’s his mark. The Dark Mark. I shan’t ever be able to get rid of it, but it did fade while he was – I’ll say incapacitated because he never was defeated, so I’m suspecting Kreacher wasn’t able to destroy the locket.”
“What locket?”
He’d erred. “Sara, you need not worry about that business.”
“You said you’d tell me the truth.”
Taking a deep breath, he closed his eyes. “Long story short, I stole something important, but I can’t show my face – couldn’t show my face back home, because defecting means death, but death for my entire family. Well, except for Bellatrix and Sirius.”
“Uncle Sirius? He bought into the Pureblood stuff?”
“I’d thought he hadn’t, but then a paper arrived in Australia that he’d betrayed the Potters to Voldemort and…” He closed his eyes. “He’s also escaped Azkaban, which is a prison.”
“Where you’re supposed to be, yet you’re taking me back there where you’re at risk of being imprisoned leaving me alone.”
“Kreacher, if he is still alive, will take care of you, but if he’s not I’ll see if someone else might not take care of you. The Potters had other friends, so that would likely be the place to start.”
“But why go back?”
“Because I’ve unfinished business. Voldemort is back and nobody is safe while he lives, but his reach can be felt discretely in other places in the world, such as where his Death Eaters have fled.”
“Such as Appleyard.”
“Well, she’s likely not known by that last name, but yes, I do suspect she is a Death Eater.” He also hoped she didn’t suspect something given the way Sara looked like a Black. “When we arrive, we’ll start by going to the family home.”
“I don’t want to see her.”
“Her.”
“Your mother.”
“Ah. Kreacher will help me with that. He’s a very loyal House Elf.”
“You said he was a friend.”
“My only friend to be honest, which is quite sad. I honestly believed everyone treated House Elves with kindness for their services, but then he left Kreacher for dead. Of course, Kreacher won’t tell you the details. He’s under orders to tell nobody in the Black family what happened, to keep them safe, but he’ll keep you safe Sara, even from maman if I should give the order. But, you’re also Pureblood.”
“No. I’m Mud… Muggleborn.” Sara let out a huff, her eyes indicating tears about to erupt from having her world turned even more upside down.
“I’ll leave that be for now. Just don’t use that filthy word for yourself as I’ve asked. I don’t want to ever hear it, though truth be told I’m likely to have an earful from her.”
“You’re not looking forward to going home.”
“It stopped feeling like home a long time ago.”
“I see. Can I go draw now?”
“Yes.” A thought crossed his mind. “I hope to enroll you at Hogwarts.”
“Where?” Sara seemed less than enthused.
“The school I attended.”
“Don’t want to.”
“Well, Dumbledore is in charge and he loves Muggles, but I know you’ll be safe at the school this coming year and you do need to be educated.”
“That’s what you wanted to say?”
“No. There are four houses at Hogwarts, but I want to make it clear that I don’t want you to feel as if you need to go into Slytherin. In fact, it would be better if you didn’t.”
“Why?”
“It’s been the Black family tradition, only broken by Sirius, but many in Slytherin will have Pureblood prejudices, something I know upsets you. I think Ravenclaw might be the house for you, but it’s the house I would have possibly gone into if I didn’t feel like I needed to do right by my parents once Sirius was sorted into Gryffindor. You’re brave, so that’s a good house for you as well, but you’re also loyal to your friends from what I heard, so Hufflepuff as well. Just, not Slytherin.”
“Whatever.” Sara shrugged her shoulders in a most unladylike fashion, not that he cared, though his mother would.
Eventually, the boat arrived with Sara tired from the journey to which he scooped the small girl up into his arms before Apparating to Grimmauld place, whispering in her ear, “Touch nothing. Maman, the one you do not want to meet, practices Dark Magic and there are some dangerous things around the house I’ll need to clear away if it turns out she is staying elsewhere, but she may have passed on already.”
“You want that?”
“I don’t know. As much I hate her views, I still love my maman. It’s quite difficult.” They arrived in the downstairs area, seeing quite the disarray.”
“It doesn’t look like anybody has lived here in some time,” Sara pointed out, holding her hands.
“No. Why don’t you head upstairs to the drawing-room.”
Which of course resulted in Sara, with her fiery personality, running up the stairs, knocking back a curtain which in turn led to him hearing the screams of his mother. He hurried up the stairs as she screeched about filth and Sara covered her ears, looking like she would cry. He sucked in a deep breath. “Maman, none of that filthy language in front of your granddaughter.”
“Who are you?” Her eyes narrowed. “Not that filthy Sirius Black are you?” The cursing started up with even more curse words.
A crack echoed through the stairwell and a familiar voice spoke. “Who is trespassing in the house of Kreacher’s mistress?” He turned, looking at the House Elf, pulling Sara closer. Kreacher’s eyes went wide. “Master Regulus? Kreacher didn’t destroy the locket. For that Kreacher…”
“Don’t punish yourself Kreacher.”
The picture of his mother went silent. “Regulus? You are alive my dear?”
He glared at the picture. “I’d appreciate it if you wouldn’t use such filthy words in front of my daughter.”
“Is she…”
“She is, but she was raised not knowing so you using that word for Muggleborn is traumatizing for her. She’s tired enough from her trip. So please, none of that language. And where is the real maman?”
“Dead. I’m long dead and gone, but I shall haunt these halls and not let that filth any…” The picture paused, glaring at him, sniffing as she did, her attention turning to Sara. “Get some rest, my dear.”
Of course, Sara looked up at her in horror while Regulus reached out to snap the curtain shut. Regulus looked down at her. “Perhaps no running past this particular picture?”
Sara nodded her head and took his hand again, his attention turning to Kreacher. “Could you possibly fetch Sara something to eat?”
“She’s not named after the stars?”
“Her mother named her while I was out of the picture.” He proceeded up the stairs and sat down on the couch with Sara, her eyes heading straight for the tapestry. She got up there and looked at the tapestry.”
“Is that the tapestry you said she would blast you from?”
“Yes. Yes, it is.”
“There are other blasts.”
“Sirius was blasted from the tapestry when he ran away from home at sixteen.”
“Leaving you to live up to their expectations.”
“No, that’s not…”
“That is what happened? Would you really have joined up if for your parents he were an option to join that Voldemort person?”
It was a good question, but… “I don’t know.” Looking at the tapestry, a thought crossed his mind just as Kreacher popped into the room. “Andromeda. Now there’s a thought of who I might trust to take care of you if something happens to me.”
“Why is Master Regulus speaking of that filth…”
“Don’t use maman’s language around Sara Kreacher. Please.”
“She is not a part of the family.”
“Yes, but you still would have to take orders from her,” which in turn led to grumbling from the House Elf. “And she’s the one person you and I can trust to keep Sara safe. Bellatrix would kill Sara because she’s my daughter and Narcissa, bless her heart, isn’t fond of anything Muggle.”
“Why would you bring anything Muggle into this house?”
“Sara in her early years was raised in a Muggle orphanage before I managed to track her down. She also believed until recently she was Muggleborn, but went through a majorly traumatic experience. You are not to ask her for details unless she wishes to say anything, but if she does say anything regarding what happened you’re to keep mum.”
“Kreacher always kept mum regarding Master Regulus musings.”
“I know, for which I am most grateful.” Regulus reached out, squeezing Kreacher’s shoulder.
“What about the others?”
“Alphard was blasted off for leaving his fortunes to Sirius after he was disowned. Andromeda, Iola, and Cedrella married a Muggleborn, a Muggle, and what’s called a Blood Traitor, someone who doesn’t align with the family beliefs. Sirius was considered that, but…”
“He betrayed the Potters, which would be in line with the family beliefs?”
“Yes. Phineas was removed for being a Muggle rights supporter. Marius Black was a squib.”
“Your name has a death date, but it’s fading.”
“That’s because the magic I used to keep the fact I was alive a secret is now fading which happened once I stepped foot in this place.”
“I’m here, but mother is not.”
“That would be because your maman and I were not married, another thing my maman would blast me from the tapestry for.”
“I see.”
“This is your home Sara, at least it will be for the time being. Hogwarts, when you go, will be another kind of home, but for now, we’ll make the best of this.”
“You really have turned away from all of that?”
“Master Regulus?”
“What does it mean to be superior? While it is true that Purebloods have an advantage having grown up around magic which means we’re often better at it which fits the definition of being superior, we make ourselves inferior by treating those in need of our help in demeaning manners. This doesn’t just include Muggleborn, but also creatures such as House Elves. House Elves are not disposable, but I think even Squibs can be useful if given the chance. I wouldn’t be surprised to learn that Muggleborn are individuals descended from Squibs that have been banished from Pureblood trees, but if they’re family, we should take care of them as if they were family.”
“Master Regulus is the hero of House Elves,” Kreacher suddenly pined, his eyes going wide while he twisted the towel he held in his hands in excitement.
“I wouldn’t say that.” He was amused though by Kreacher’s statement, unsure of where it came from. A yawn escaped from Sara’s mouth and likewise form his, which resulted in them taking a nap after having a snack with her lying on top of him, much like she’d done a few times when she was younger, before being sent off to Appleyard College, something he knew he’d always regret.
He didn’t, though, expect the rude awakening which would come, a wand pointed at his face while Sara nestled her head into his shoulder. “Who are you, and what are you doing in my house?”
The person in question, there was no denying the familiar black hair which curled just like Sara’s let alone the silver eyes. If Sirius betraying the Potter family wasn’t worrisome enough, his brother now sported tattoos but looked the definite part of an escaped criminal. A young woman with atrocious pink hair stood not far away, but for some reason, Regulus suspected others were in the room, something which was confirmed when someone in a rather lazy manner said, “Oh. Hello Regulus.”
“Regulus?” Sirius sounded incredulous at the person’s statement. “You know my brother is dead Remus.”
Which, it made sense that Remus, the most sensible one of Sirius's friends, would in fact recognize him. “I don’t know how, but it is definitely him.”
“Well. On top of being a Death Eater, it turns out my little brother is into little kiddies,” Sirius said, the venom in his voice all too apparent.
Regulus scootched himself up slightly, not wanting to wake Sara. “Sirius…”
“Don’t Sirius me!”
Sara stirred, then sat up, her eyes looking right at his brother, her mind still foggy with sleep. “Sirius…”
“That is my name,” Sirius snapped.
She looked right at him, not batting an eye while giving him a definite glare she inherited from his and Sirius’ maman. “Is it true that you betrayed the Potters?”
“Of course it’s not true, not that anybody would believe that given I’ve no proof.”
“My father says you were removed from the tapestry for not believing in the whole Pureblood nonsense.”
“Father…” Sirius started to lower his wand but then pointed it at Regulus’ face. “What is she talking about?”
“She’s on the tapestry.”
“What are…”
Regulus heard a shuffling and then a laugh from Remus who he couldn’t see as he was busy staring at the wand his brother aimed at his face. “So, she’s named after her Uncle Siri then?”
“Say what?” Sirius turned, forgetting about the perceived threat.
“He changed the letter “I" to the letter “A”. Her name is Sara.”
“Her mother did that,” Regulus sat up, pulling himself and Sara into the corner, still not trusting his brother.
Sirius turned, remembering Regulus was there. “You’re a Death Eater, Regulus.”
“Was.” Regulus narrowed his eyes.
“And why should I believe that?”
“Sirius, I don’t care if you believe it or not. The only thing I want is for Sara to be safe.”
“Yes, well I need you out of this house. Out of my house.”
“And what about Sara?” the girl with the atrocious hair which was now bright blue said. Sara scooted off Regulus' lap, her head tilting so that she might get a better look at her first sighting of a Metamorphmagus.
“I’ll send her via Kreacher to Andromeda because she’s always been the most sensible person in the family.”
“Or I could take her there if Sirius doesn’t want anything to do with the two of you despite the fact it should be obvious to anyone but an absolute idiot that by the fact you’re willing to trust my mother that you’re not an actual threat to the order, though Moody is the real person to get this past.”
Regulus watched Sirius's facial features soften. “I think that’s best, but Tonks and Remus won’t say anything about you showing up. More importantly, you need to leave before Moody gets here to inspect the place.”
“Or perhaps Regulus has something useful that we can use in this fight against Voldemort.”
“Remus. If you’re saying my brother can play double agent like Snape…”
Regulus sucked in his breath, wanting to pull Sara close again. Sara, however, interrupted her uncle. “There’s the locket.”
“Sara!” Regulus shook his head. “I don’t want you involved in all of this.”
“You’re the one who was worried about Kreacher not being able to destroy it, but it’s important to stop him isn’t it? It’s why you came back because something about destroying that locket is key to stopping this Voldemort person?”
“Well. That’s an interesting development,” said a voice coming from the doorway. Their presence made Sara cling to him, not that Regulus blamed her for doing so. He swallowed, watching Moody’s eyes go around, remembering hearing about the man. “Funny how your name never came up at the trials Regulus Arcturus Black despite the fact you definitely sport the Dark Mark under those scars. What matter of creature created them?”
Regulus closed his eyes, hugging his daughter close. “Inferi.”
“Does that have to do with this locket? Did Voldemort set up Inferi to guard that locket?”
“Yes, among other things.” His fingers twisted in Sara’s dark curls. “Please…”
“Then Dumbledore’s suspicions regarding potential Horcrux isn’t unfounded.”
“Dumbledore,” Sara muttered into his chest. “He’s the reason you want me to attend Hogwarts. He likes Muggles and I would be safe.”
“Yes.” He kissed the top of her head, then looked at Moody. “Perhaps I should speak to him about this?”
“I think so, but I’m surprised to see, unlike your older brother that you’ve actually a sound head on your shoulders,” Moody smirked in a way Regulus didn’t like. “And the last thing I would do is ask a single parent of a young child to play double agent, particularly since you’re likely already compromised. Again though, interesting your name never came up at trial despite the fact your name of all names would be a major one to sell out to gain their freedom.”
Regulus narrowed his eyes while Sirius turned to look at the man. “What are you getting at, or you as mad as they say?”
“What did you do for Voldemort?”
“Research,” Sara piped up. “He told me research.”
“Well. I see you were honest with your child.”
“That doesn’t make me any less guilty.”
“Perhaps, but I certainly couldn’t turn you in based on the Dark Mark alone, particularly since nobody believes Voldemort is back.”
The words were cruel. Sirius of course remained confused. “What are you getting at? What’s this research crap?”
“All you need to know is your brother and niece are now under the protection of the Order, something I do believe Dumbledore would agree with me on,” Moody looked at Regulus. “We will though want to question you later for what you can tell us, though I do understand it’s been some time. That will be all, for now.”
Now, Regulus knew, was the operative word for things.