Chapter Text
When Childe slowly woke up, he found himself panicking at the feeling of fingers carding through his hair. Instinctively he tensed up and found himself locked in place, expecting to feel sharp nails gouging into his scalp or harsh tugs on his ginger hair if he moved even an inch. His breathing came in short, stuttered breaths, and suddenly the hand drew back.
“Childe?”
Oh. That wasn’t Skirk’s voice coming from behind him.
“Are you awake?”
That was Zhongli. He was safe. Zhongli wouldn’t hurt him. Zhongli would never hurt him.
Childe rolled over with a small wince of pain to look up at the man sitting on the edge of his bed. The early morning light streamed through the window behind him and bathed Zhongli in a golden glow, emphasizing his ethereal features and making his eyes look like they were shining. He looked like a dream, but when Childe could feel the softness of the sheets beneath his hands and the weight of the blankets over him, he knew that Zhongli must be real too.
“If I pretend to still be sleeping, would you keep doing that?” Childe asked and Zhongli smiled fondly down at him.
“Alternatively, you could simply ask,” he replied with a chuckle before reaching over and gently starting to brush back Childe’s bangs with his fingers. “I would never deny you anything.”
“Then… Can I rest my head in your lap?”
Childe hoped that wasn’t going too far, but Zhongli simply pulled his feet up onto the bed after removing his slippers and rearranged some pillows to serve as a backrest. He sat at an angle positioned just so Childe wouldn’t have to move far, and when he nodded once, Childe scooted up on the bed and laid his head upon Zhongli’s thighs—lying on his side to look up at the gorgeous man with widened eyes.
They weren’t pillow-like at all—and in fact, felt remarkably toned and hard—but for someone who had been sleeping on stone for months on end, the softness of the pillow he had woken up using felt strange. It was too soft, and it felt oddly uncomfortable because of it. Zhongli’s thighs, though, were warm and solid while still having some give to them. His eyes fluttered shut and he let out a content exhale.
“Is this a good position for you? You are not straining your injury, I hope.”
Childe shook his head and leaned his cheek closer to Zhongli. “Nope. This is comfy, thanks.”
Zhongli laughed softly. “Very well then.”
Barely a moment later, Zhongli’s hands found themselves back in his hair and on the soft skin of his face. He tried not to freeze again, but it was difficult when every touch reminded him of the ones he expected to feel, and yet every touch surprised him with just how careful and gentle Zhongli was. He never put too much pressure, and it felt more akin to lightly running his fingers over his skin. Instead of something terrifying, it was clearly meant to be soothing. Maybe, with enough time, Zhongli would be able to overwrite all those harsh and painful touches with his caring ones.
“Is it morning already?” Childe asked quietly, opening his eyes, and Zhongli nodded with a slightly amused smile.
“It is. You were quite exhausted, but it brings me great joy to know that you have recovered enough to wake.”
Recovered enough to wake? “How long did I sleep for?”
Zhongli looked off to the side as if lost in thought. “Approximately a week. Doctor Baizhu and Qiqi have been coming over twice per day to help you heal. It is good to see that you have responded well to the treatment.”
Childe hummed to himself, just as a sound of acknowledgement. He had been quite injured, and it didn’t surprise him that he had taken longer to recover, but still, he couldn’t help but feel disappointed that he hadn’t been able to spend all that time with Zhongli instead of being unconscious. Suddenly, another question came to him.
“Zhongli, have you been here all night?”
“Yes,” Zhongli replied without missing a beat. “I have not yet left your side.”
With a smile, Childe snuggled closer and tried to relax and time his breathing to the gentle strokes in his hair. “Well, thank you for keeping me company at night.”
“There is no need to thank me, Childe. I could not have left you alone if I tried,” Zhongli murmured. “Perhaps now that you are awake, you may have some visitors. I have not been the only one concerned.”
Childe thought for a moment. Sure, there were probably a lot of people who wanted to see him (for some reason), but right now he just wanted this moment to last forever. This was everything he had ever dreamed of when he was in the Abyss. He didn’t want this to end so soon.
“Later,” he mumbled instead. Right now, though, he felt hungry. “When you’re done with that, could I have some food?”
Zhongli’s fingers stalled in his hair and they withdrew, leaving Childe to sigh in disappointment. “Do you think you can sit up with some assistance?”
Childe nodded and let Zhongli help him sit back against the pillows. They were fluffy and large, and he felt himself kind of sinking back into them. Zhongli swung his legs over the side of the bed and stood up, but he hesitated to leave. Instead, he seemed to stare at Childe with a searching look. As he walked toward the door, Zhongli seemed to be shooting small periodic glances back at his bed.
Childe smiled and waved at him, bringing a small smile to the consultant’s face. Somehow, that alone seemed to soothe him before Zhongli walked out of the room for barely a minute or two. He returned with hurried steps and seemed to be almost panicked when the door was all but thrown open. Childe hadn’t moved, and somehow, seeing that was all Zhongli needed. The tense expression and frantic energy dissolved almost immediately.
“The food should be brought over soon,” Zhongli told him, sitting back on the edge of the bed.
“So I don’t get to eat your cooking today?” Childe sighed and Zhongli shook his head with an amused grin. Childe patted the spot next to him and Zhongli automatically shifted to sit there.
“Xiangling declared that she was going to prepare the first meal for you when you awoke after she heard of your condition. I did not think it would be prudent to try and fight her for that position.”
Childe laughed and he tried to ignore the pain that action caused. While on one hand, he wished he could have a home-cooked meal from Zhongli (So what if most of his dreams had been sappy and domestic? At least Childe knew what he wanted), he had also been on the receiving end of Xiangling’s determination before. The girl was very stubborn when it came to her cooking and he could understand why Zhongli wouldn’t have wanted to even try to stop her.
Reaching over, Childe laced their fingers together. “Well, I’ll just have to taste yours at another time.”
“Of course,” Zhongli said, giving his hand a slight squeeze in return, “and it will be nice to eat Xiangling’s cooking again.”
“You haven’t gone out to eat during the day?” Childe asked and Zhongli only looked amused.
“As I told you earlier, I refused to leave your side. Just now was the first time I have gone anywhere in a week.”
“You… you stayed here, in this room, with me for a week?” Childe asked, completely shaken up by that news. He hadn’t left at all? That didn’t make sense, wouldn’t he have had other things to do?
“Yes,” he replied. “I dared not leave for anything.”
“Anything?”
He knew he probably shouldn’t just be parroting Zhongli’s words back to him, but he couldn’t believe what he was hearing.
“Anything,” Zhongli confirmed again. Childe felt his eyes go wide and he felt oddly cold as he squeezed Zhongli’s hand.
“Please tell me that someone has at least been delivering food to you this whole time,” he begged but Zhongli’s gaze fell to their clasped hands. “Zhongli, please.”
Childe winced as he reached across his body with his other hand, twisting in a way that was very much painful to do so, to place a hand on Zhongli’s cheek over the scar (so it hadn’t simply been his imagination, after all) and turn his face to look in his direction.
“Please tell me the truth.”
Zhongli inhaled sharply and looked away, his eyes darting to the side, but when Childe refused to budge, Zhongli looked at him through his lashes.
“The only other people who have come by are Doctor Baizhu, Qiqi, Xiao, and Venti. The first two are only here to do their jobs of caring for you, and the other two visit very rarely. Today we are lucky that Qiqi was just arriving, so I could send her for the food.”
Childe brushed his thumb back and forth across Zhongli’s cheek and over the scar. “You haven’t made yourself food either, have you?”
Zhongli shook his head. “I have not left your side for anything, not even food. I will not lie to you, Childe. I have not eaten or slept in over seven days.”
Childe froze. Seven days? Without food, water, or sleep? Why, out of the two of them, was he the one on his death bed then? Zhongli shouldn’t have been able to do such a thing, but instead of asking how, the only question that came to mind was—
“Why?”
Zhongli reached up to hold on to Childe’s hand on his cheek. “I was scared.”
“Scared?”
Childe hadn’t known the elegant and composed consultant of the Wangsheng funeral parlour to be scared of anything. The fact that he was admitting this… it meant that it must have been such an intense feeling.
“I feared that if I looked away, even once, you would disappear again,” Zhongli admitted in a soft and vulnerable tone. “If that had happened, it would have destroyed me, and so I sat and watched over you for as long as it took for you to wake up. I could not assist in other ways and that was difficult to accept, so I found something feasible.”
Seven days.
“Zhongli, I’m not going anywhere, okay?” he said, trying to smile despite the new information making his heart hurt. “You’re stuck with me now. It’s too late to get rid of me.”
The smile he got in return was small but easily one of the most beautiful he had ever seen. So gentle, so loving, and so very Zhongli. Childe almost felt like crying again because he couldn’t believe that this was real and that it wasn’t simply his imagination carrying him through another cold and lonely night.
A few seconds later, there was a knock at the door and Zhongli slipped off the bed to retrieve the food. Childe could already smell it from where he was sitting in the bed, and it smelled glorious. The entire time he had been in the Abyss, they had barely fed him and anything that he had been able to eat, he was only able to stomach out of necessity.
“Thank you, Qiqi,” Zhongli said as he closed the door, carefully carrying the food back over to set it on a small side table.
Childe nearly laughed hard enough that his abdomen hurt when Zhongli moved out of the way and he saw that placed neatly on a napkin, instead of a pair of chopsticks, there was a fork and knife. Zhongli noticed soon after and frowned before sighing.
“Why do you sound so disappointed?” Childe asked him, amused. He hadn’t seen Zhongli look that miffed about something in well… ever. “You won’t have to see me fumbling around with chopsticks—”
His eyes widened suddenly and Childe frantically looked down at himself as he tried feeling around for the familiar box in his jacket. He hadn’t noticed until now that he was wearing different clothes. It made sense that they would have changed them, considering they had months of Abyss grime on them plus the fact that they had been torn and bloodied from his injury, and honestly he wouldn’t be all that opposed to burning them when he could. However, he really hoped nothing had happened to them yet because the chopsticks had been in there, kept safely in their lacquer box.
Where were they?
Zhongli noticed his panicked expression and grabbed onto his hand. “Childe? Is something wrong?”
“The chopsticks,” he gasped, “they were in my jacket.”
Zhongli nodded. “One moment.”
He stood up once more and opened a drawer at the other side of the room. Carefully, he pulled out the box and returned with it as silently as he had gone. The second Childe could reach them, he grabbed the box and held it close to his chest. These chopsticks had seen so much, and they had been something that kept him grounded. He nearly cried at the knowledge that they were safe.
“They are undamaged, save for some scuffing and scratch marks on the box. They can be fixed, if you wish,” Zhongli told him and Childe breathed out a sigh of relief. They hadn’t broken, and he would be forever grateful. “Would you like me to set them aside while you eat?”
Childe shook his head, but then Zhongli got a pensive look on his face. “Perhaps it is not prudent for you to be handling hot foods at the moment, though. It would not do if you were to spill it on your bandages.”
“So what are you proposing here?” Childe asked, and he froze up a bit when Zhongli carefully pried the box from his hands and opened it to take out the beautiful phoenix and dragon chopsticks. He held them properly and they looked perfect in between his fingers. Zhongli picked up some rice and meat and held it out to Childe.
“If you are incapable of feeding yourself at the present time, then I will feed you instead.”
Childe’s jaw dropped open out of shock, but Zhongli simply placed the food on his tongue and he closed his mouth to chew out of habit alone. The taste of actual, real, good food made him want to tear up and he watched as Zhongli carefully sectioned off another portion and picked it up.
“That one’s yours,” Childe told him when he tried to feed him the food again. “We’ll take turns.”
Zhongli chuckled and shook his head. “The food is for you, Childe. You need to regain your strength.”
“If it’s mine, then I can declare that you have to eat with me.” His lips pulled into a smug grin. “Didn’t you tell me once when we ate hotpot that good food always tastes better when you share it with someone? You can’t deny me that.”
Seeing that he had been caught, Zhongli gave him a fond smile and ate the food. “There, are you satisfied?”
“I will be once we each eat half,” Childe declared. Zhongli went to pick up another portion, this time dipping it in some sauce that was provided. As it was placed once again in his mouth, the flavours exploded on his tongue and he had to hold back a satisfied moan from how good it was. That would be embarrassing.
As Zhongli ate another piece of meat, Childe leaned back into the pillow slightly. “You know, Xiao told me what those chopsticks mean.”
“I had been under the assumption that you already knew,” Zhongli replied simply. “Imagine my surprise when I found out that not only had you not read the book on customs I had recommended, but also that you cannot read Liyuen characters. I will have to teach you while you are recovering.”
He laughed sheepishly. Yes, he knew that he probably should have learned how a long time ago, but could anyone really blame him for preferring to listen to Zhongli’s voice instead?
“Also, I was not able to say this before you collapsed, but you likely already know that I feel the same way.”
Wait, what had he said? If he was being honest, his memories of what happened near the end of the battle were a bit fuzzy because of the blood loss. Thankfully, Zhongli seemed to notice his confusion and, after feeding him once more, he elaborated.
“You said that you love me.”
Childe nearly choked on the piece of pork in his mouth. He had been imagining so many romantic situations at the beginning of everything, back when it was just him and Xiao searching for the missing consultant, and he had so many plans for the perfect way to say it.
“I had hoped to tell you that under much more romantic circumstances,” Childe muttered with a grimace, but Zhongli set the chopsticks down across the top of the bowl to hold Childe’s hands between his.
“Childe, it does not matter to me how you say it. The fact that you did and that you meant it is enough for me.”
His words were said with such sincerity and care that Childe found himself tearing up slightly. All he could do was squeeze Zhongli’s hands back. He loved this man so much—he had for a while, but he had been too blind to see it—and this beautiful god of a man loved him back for some reason. He was broken, he was hurt, and he wasn’t a good person, but Zhongli just accepted all of that for some reason.
“Then I’ll have to say it over and over again until I get it right, and then I’ll keep saying it even after that,” Childe told him and Zhongli simply smiled.
“Very well, I shall do the same in return.” He picked up the chopsticks again as he said that, and continued feeding himself and Childe. Maybe it was an immature thing to focus on, but Childe couldn’t help but watch attentively as Zhongli’s lips closed around the chopsticks, and he was reminded once again that he hadn’t kissed him yet. He wanted to, he really wanted it so badly, but they both needed to eat, and Zhongli needed to rest. That was more important right now than anything else.
Soon enough, the food had all been eaten and Childe carefully scooted back down to lay flat on the mattress. When Zhongli made to leave, Childe grabbed onto his hand.
“Where do you think you’re going?” he asked, and Zhongli shot him a confused glance.
He gestured to the empty dishes. “I will put these away, and then I will return.”
Childe let go and waited in the bed for Zhongli to come back, and when he did, they found themselves at an impasse. Zhongli sat down on the edge of the bed again, seemingly ready to watch over Childe’s rest again, but Childe wasn’t having that.
“Come on, lay down,” Childe said, patting the spot next to him. “You need sleep.”
Zhongli’s brow furrowed. “But I—”
Childe frowned and shook his head. “Nope. I don’t care and I don’t want to hear it. You haven’t slept in seven days, Zhongli. I am going to make sure you are getting rest if it’s the last thing I do. I already told you that I’m not going anywhere, don’t worry.”
Hesitantly, Zhongli laid down and he stared into Childe’s eyes for a moment. “Is this satisfactory?”
His eyes were golden and beautiful, and Childe felt his breath hitch just looking at them. He couldn’t let his control slip now, no matter how much he just wanted to lean in and kiss him. Zhongli needed rest above all else.
He struggled to bring himself to say the words and to tear his gaze away, but he was able to do it with much difficulty. “Can you turn around? I just…” he paused for a moment, trying to find the right words, “I just want to hold you for a bit, if that’s okay.”
With a nod, Zhongli rolled over so his back was facing Childe and he let out a pleased sigh when Childe’s arms wrapped around his torso. It felt right, he realized, to have Zhongli in his arms like this. He was safe and protected, and Childe wouldn’t let anything happen to either of them. However, it didn’t feel like Zhongli was relaxing at all.
“Zhongli,” Childe whispered into his shoulder, “you have to close your eyes to sleep. I already told you I’m not going anywhere.”
He was silent for a moment before replying. “Yes, but I need to tell you something first.”
“Shhh, just rest. You can tell me anything later.”
“This is actually quite important Childe,” Zhongli argued, but Childe just held him tighter.
“What’s important is that you haven’t slept in seven days, Zhongli,” he replied in a chiding tone. “I won’t budge on this.”
Zhongli went silent for a moment, but he relented and sighed before finding a more comfortable position for his arms and closing his eyes. Childe stayed awake, just listening to Zhongli’s breathing even out and feeling him slowly relax. He was asleep, finally, and that brought a smile to Childe’s face. With one last quick look around the room and his senses on high alert for any danger, he laid his head down on the pillow and moved in slightly closer. Soon enough, his eyes fell closed too, and he slept.
A while later, the sound of rapid footsteps in the hall jolted Childe awake. Someone was coming. Instinctively, he sat up and carefully moved himself into a position where he would easily be able to defend himself and Zhongli should it be necessary. The man in front of him blinked blearily as he woke, having felt Childe move.
“Childe? What’s wrong?” he asked, his lips pulled into a small frown. Childe smiled down at him apologetically. He wished that Zhongli hadn’t woken up—he needed much more sleep than the small nap he had gotten.
“I can hear someone coming,” he replied. “I’ll handle it, don’t worry.”
The footsteps got louder the closer they got and Zhongli sat up, glancing over at the door even as he leaned back against the bed frame. When the door swung open, Childe moved to place himself between Zhongli and the door, his Hydro blades forming in his hands.
Okay, yes, maybe he did pull at his wound a bit too much in the process and it hurt like a bitch, but that didn’t matter in the face of the alarms blaring inside his head.
“MORAX, YOU’LL NEVER GUESS—” Venti yelled as he skidded into the room and the wooden door slammed into the wall. He stopped short upon seeing the scene in front of him and his eyes went wide. “Oh shit.”
Morax? Morax!?
Childe spun around quickly to stare at Zhongli in disbelief, his blades vanishing as he did so. The consultant looked miffed and was staring at the bard, wholly unimpressed.
There was no way, Childe thought. He couldn’t be—
“Um, well, uh,” Venti stammered, realizing that he had caused the tense atmosphere in the room. Suddenly he paused and his eyes narrowed. “Wait, I didn’t interrupt something, did I? I didn’t think you had it in you.”
Zhongli sighed. “We were resting, Barbatos. Nothing more. Childe is much too injured at the current time to even let the thought of such strenuous activities cross his mind.”
Barbatos?
Childe’s shoulders sagged as he came to the realization that if he was hearing right, he was currently standing between, not one, but two Archons. Holy Fucking Celestia. The second realization that he had was that Venti had apparently thought that there was something more than just simple napping and cuddling going on.
He hoped the bard… Archon… bardchon (?)… realized that if he had walked in on something like that, Childe would have thrown him directly out the window, divinity be damned.
But still. Morax!?
He turned to look at Zhongli, who looked at him with slight amusement.
“I did inform you that I had something important to tell you,” Zhongli said with a small smile on his face, “but it appears that Barbatos has decided to break the news for me.”
In his defence, he had been a bit too concerned about Zhongli’s sleep deprivation to care all that much about what he had to say, and now Venti had simply blown the big secret. Maybe he should have just let Zhongli say his piece first. Too late to change it now, he supposed. Weirdly enough, he didn’t even feel all that upset. Perhaps he would have been if he had found this out through some other situation, but right now he was honestly too happy that he was alright, and Zhongli was alright, and they were reunited to get angry or frustrated. Maybe that would come later when the elation and relief had worn off.
Besides that, everyone had their secrets—even him. He hadn’t wanted to tell Zhongli about the backlash from his delusion, so why could he get angry at Zhongli for hiding that he was the Geo Archon himself?
Venti shuffled awkwardly in the background. “I’m… sorry?”
“There is nothing that can be done about it now,” Zhongli told him with a sigh. “So what is so important that you burst into the room like that?”
“Oh!” Venti perked up immediately and a large smile grew on his face. “Xiao agreed to come to visit me in Mondstadt soon! Are you finally giving him a well-deserved vacation?”
Zhongli shook his head. “It is not a vacation. I told him that he is free to do as he pleases from now on, so I have little doubt that you will see him much more often than usual.”
“Why would he need to ask you?” Childe wondered as he went back to sit down on the bed, wincing as he did so.
“Xiao is an Adeptus, and he has watched over Liyue for several thousand years,” Zhongli told him. Oh. Well, Childe sure felt embarrassed now. He must have sounded ridiculous trying to give life advice to someone older than the Tsaritsa. His turmoil must have shown on his face since Zhongli smiled and continued speaking. “I am beyond pleased that he considers you a friend. He has not had one in a very long time.”
Screw feeling embarrassed, he was going to tease Xiao for admitting that and for his crush on Venti now. Childe thought that he deserved at least that much in return.
“Have the Qixing made any announcements while I have been here?”
Venti seemed to ponder Zhongli’s question before glancing out the window in the direction of Yujing Terrace. “I think they wanted to ask you something before they made any decisions.”
“Very well, then I shall speak with them.”
Zhongli looked over in Childe’s direction, and of course, he gave the consultant an encouraging nod. He would be fine if Zhongli left for some important business, but he would likely still worry anyway. They both would, really.
“Please tell them to meet me here for the discussions.”
Or apparently, Zhongli would bring the Qixing to him, which felt like an odd thing to do, but maybe being their Archon gave him more leeway than others—and that was still something strange to think about, if Childe was being honest. Whatever, maybe that fact would hit him like a brick later and he would panic like he probably should have been this entire time.
“Is that everything?” Childe asked as he looked over at Venti, smiling in a way that was at least partially fake. He liked the bard as a person, he really did, but right now he felt somewhat uncomfortable with having anyone other than Zhongli in the room with him.
And even then, every touch made him force down a flinch, every sound made his guard go up, and every shadow that blocked the light momentarily brought memories careening to the forefront of his mind. He wasn’t okay, and he knew it, but he couldn’t force that on Zhongli. Not right now.Venti nodded. “Yup, that’s all. Oh, and I’m glad to see you’re okay. Maybe Xiao will stop sulking once he pays you a visit.”
“I will let Xiao know when there is a good time for him to come,” Zhongli said, nodding once at Venti who… opened the window?
The bard sat on the windowsill and waved once in their direction. “I’ve sent your reply along on the breeze, so they should get it soon enough. Anyway, I should be heading back to Mondstadt now, since the Knights are leaving soon and I want to snag at least one bottle of wine from Angel’s Share before Master Diluc gets back and catches me. Oh, and don’t forget that you have to come and have a drink with me sometime, Morax!”
And with that, a gust of wind blew and he simply vanished. Zhongli grimaced as he rearranged his bangs that had been blown everywhere. They were clearly friends, that was something Childe could see easily, but it appeared that somehow the Anemo Archon had figured out a way to even get on Zhongli’s nerves every once in a while.
“What does he think he’s doing, leaving without me?”
When he heard that familiar voice, Childe glanced over at the door and saw Xiao leaning against the doorframe, looking at the open window.
“Xiao!?” he exclaimed, his eyes widening when he saw the Adeptus (apparently) standing there.
Xiao nodded at him, a small smile pulling at his lips. “Good to see that I don’t have to disturb your rest.”
Zhongli only looked confused while Childe let out a loud laugh, remembering their promise. “Of course not. So, what are you doing just skulking around like that?”
Xiao rolled his eyes and stopped leaning on the wall to walk further into the room. “I was talking with Venti on our way over and after I said that I wanted to visit Mondstadt more often, he freaked out and ran off. I just followed him and well… I got to witness that whole scene.”
Ah. So maybe he wouldn’t be able to tease Xiao as much as he thought. A shame, but there would always be other opportunities later on.
“Oh, young love,” Childe cooed while Xiao just narrowed his eyes at him in what was probably supposed to be a threatening way, but Childe knew that he wouldn’t actually do anything. Not while Zhongli was here, at least, and even then Xiao wouldn’t actually try to kill him.
“I’m older than most of your family tree, if anything I should be saying that to you,” he grumbled.
He had a point, but Childe elected to ignore it. Teasing was teasing, after all, and he wasn’t about to pass up on a prime opportunity.
Xiao sighed but looked at him intently. “If you ever make him upset, just know that—ah, what was it? Oh yes—I will ensure that no one will be able to find your corpse."
“Xiao!” Zhongli said in a chastised tone, but Childe recognized that the Adeptus was referencing their first meeting. The smile on his face was faint but it was there and he was overjoyed that Xiao was fully willing to poke fun at him in return. It was a relief, honestly.
“Don’t worry, I have no plans on making him get upset enough that you have to do anything,” Childe laughed, “and it’s good to see that you’re doing alright.”
Xiao nodded and looked over at Zhongli. “My Lord, he is an idiot but I acknowledge that he is your idiot. I wish you both the best, and I hope you know that he already has my blessings.”
“Thank you,” Zhongli replied, and Childe wanted to protest against being called an idiot but at this rate he wasn’t sure he could find a good argument. He did have to admit that he had missed some very obvious signs, apparently.
Not wanting to be outdone, though, Childe got a sneaky smile on his face as he walked up to Xiao, much to the Adeptus’ confusion, and patted him on the head once before dragging him to the still-open window. Xiao frowned and opened his mouth as if to say something, but Childe beat him to it.
“You should probably get going. Don’t want to keep your lover bardchon waiting~!” Childe said as he tossed the surprisingly light Adeptus out the window. He landed neatly on the roof outside and glared.
“My lover what!?” Xiao asked in a strangled voice, his face flushing a deep red. Obviously, he had understood what Childe had meant by that and Childe grinned. Oh yes, teasing him about this for the next few years, at least, would be so fun.
Childe didn’t answer him, though, but just waved at him instead as he shut the window, stopping once to yell one last thing. “Goodbye, Xiao! It was good to see you, and have fun in Mondstadt! Oh, and go see Ekaterina at the bank! Tell her that I said to withdraw the usual. Use that to buy him a drink or two, while you’re at it.”
He closed the window and the room fell silent once more, and then Childe turned around, ignoring the fact that he had probably aggravated his injury enough for one day. Zhongli was sitting on the bed looking more than amused at what had just transpired.
“So,” he began awkwardly, trying his best (and failing miserably) to act as if he hadn’t just embarrassed his friend and literally threw him out a window or had his entire worldview completely shifted in the past several minutes. “You’re the Geo Archon.”
“Yes, I am,” Zhongli replied calmly, making room for Childe on the bed once more.
Childe frowned but sat down next to him regardless. “The Geo Archon you knew I was going after.”
“Yes, there is only one Geo Archon. It would be quite troubling if there was some other one that I was previously unaware of.”
Did… Did Zhongli just tease him? That was definitely teasing, Childe thought, right? Zhongli had a slight smile on his face when he said that, and Childe couldn’t help but mirror it. There was still the issue of the fact that apparently, Zhongli knew that Childe had been out to get his gnosis the entire time, so he quickly stopped smiling.
He laughed bitterly for a moment. “So you knew what my goals were all along and you still chose to spend time with me?”
“Well,” Zhongli began, looking up at the ceiling for a moment as if lost in thought, “perhaps this is simply how I see it, but the life of the mortal Zhongli is separate from that of the Geo Archon, Morax. I chose to spend my time with you because I enjoyed that, and because it was with you I found myself slowly coming to understand what love is.”
Childe reached over and held his hand, wishing that Zhongli wasn’t wearing gloves so that he could actually touch skin instead of thick cloth. A sliver of his wrist was visible, but it appeared to be the same strange shade as the scar on his neck. He would have to ask Zhongli about that later.
“I was never afraid of you or of what you would do because I had believed that everything would go according to plan. Before you ask, I had negotiated the handover of my gnosis to your Tsaritsa in advance, and your role here was to test the Qixing and see how they would handle a diplomatic incident without their god. Alas, I did not expect you to summon Osial when you found yourself backed into a corner. Perhaps that was an oversight on my part.”
Childe glanced up at Zhongli’s face once before slowly tugging his glove off, inhaling sharply when he saw the spiralling and expanding spider webbing of scars that resembled cracks in stone climbing up his arm. They were the same as the one on his cheek, after all, but with a different shape. Despite that, his skin was still smooth to the touch and Zhongli only smiled when Childe intertwined their fingers once again.
“You know, I was really angry and scared when I found out you had disappeared. Archons, Zhongli, when I got back to Liyue Harbour that day and I couldn’t find you, I thought that I had killed you,” Childe murmured. “I wanted to blame Rex Lapis for not actually being dead, or for not showing up to protect his city because you had to go stop Osial in his stead, and his inaction caused you to be taken away. I didn’t want to face the fact that I had caused it.”
Zhongli squeezed his hand quickly and laughed slightly under his breath. “Knowing what you do now, I hope you realize that you were not incorrect in your belief that Rex Lapis caused my disappearance, although I apologize for causing you distress. That was the only course of action I could think of in such a short period of time that would cause the least amount of collateral damage to the harbour.”
Sighing, Childe looked down at the bedsheets. They weren’t his, but they were incredibly soft and comfortable. He tried to hold back the urge to just pick at it nervously, not wanting to ruin them. Knowing Zhongli, they probably cost a fortune.
“That doesn’t excuse the fact that I tried to shift the blame so I could avoid feeling guilty for a problem that I caused.”
Zhongli placed a gentle hand on his cheek and Childe tried not to bite his tongue when he unintentionally flinched. “I am certain you would not have done anything that drastic if you were not feeling backed into a corner, Childe. That is not who you are. I do not doubt that you can and have done things in the service of the Fatui that are against your personal morals, but that does not make you deserving of being thrown into the Abyss. I, too, have done terrible things in the past that I regret deeply, but there was no other choice at the time. I understand what that feels like.”
His voice was so soft, so gentle, that Childe shifted his gaze back up to look into Zhongli’s eyes.
“So please, do not blame yourself for this.”
Childe exhaled shakily and tried to accept what Zhongli was saying, but now he couldn’t banish the image in his head of him trying to bury his hand in Zhongli’s chest and rip his gnosis out. It sickened him, and he despised the version of him inside his own mind that enjoyed doing that. He wanted to say he never would have followed those orders, but they both knew that if the Tsaritsa had told him to do so, he would have. What else could he do other than blame himself?
He stayed silent and Zhongli sighed. “You do not have to forgive yourself right away. It may take years, but please know that I will stay by your side the entire time. For my part, I regretted not being able to tell you in advance that I was alright, and I still regret not having the power to pull you from the Abyss. Words cannot describe how devastating it was to have your spirit there with me and still know that there was nothing I could do to ease your suffering.”
“My spirit?” Childe frowned. He wasn’t sure what Zhongli was talking about at all. He would have remembered something like that, right?
With his gloved hand, Zhongli touched the scar on his face. “You… you were not lucid at the time, and you were injured. I remember you reaching out and touching my cheek as you said something, though I could not make out the words. It was all I could do to provide you with some solace, though I could not keep you safe for long. These scars are the price I paid to do that, and I do not regret anything.”
“But—” Childe began, though Zhongli cut him off with a quick shake of his head.
“But I would do it all over again if it meant keeping you safe.”
Childe could feel the tears welling up in his eyes and oh—Zhongli seemed to be doing the same. He remembered how helpless he had felt down there, how desperately he had clung to the chopsticks and his memories to keep himself sane. To think that Zhongli had seen him like that and had paid the price for it…. It made his heart hurt.
“I dreamed of you, you know?” Childe said, surprising himself with how open he was being about this. “It was the only thing that got me through everything that happened down there. You, my family, my friends… you’re all people I wanted to live long enough to return to—and yet it was the image of you coming to me in a dream, bathed in golden light and telling me that I would be okay, that made me realize that as long as I had you in my heart, the darkness of the Abyss would not be able to conquer me.”
Zhongli looked at him with so much love, then, that Childe felt his breath get sucked out of his lungs. The room felt smaller and warmer all of a sudden, and he couldn’t hear the sounds of the birds singing outside the window anymore.
“Perhaps that was not a dream,” Zhongli murmured, and Childe found that the tears started to spill down his cheeks. He didn’t know why those words were more overwhelming than anything else, but maybe it was just the realization that even though they were separated by the Abyss, Zhongli had still found him somehow, had saved him, and it hadn’t simply been a dream born from the wishes and desires that lived deep within him.
Maybe they would never know for sure, but Childe wanted to believe that it had been real.
“How many contracts did you make because of me?” Childe asked then. Zhongli seemed to ponder the question for a moment, before shaking his head.
He rubbed his thumb across the back of Childe’s hand while he spoke. “I do not believe that it should matter how many or how few were made as a result of the circumstances in which we found ourselves. In time, many of them will be forgotten by all but me.”
Childe looked down at their hands again. They had both made sacrifices to get to where they were now, and honestly, he wasn’t sure if he wanted to know what other things Zhongli traded away just for him.
“During my time as Rex Lapis, I made many contracts with many people—mortals and immortals alike—and I ensured the terms were fair by weighing each and every one of them in my mind. In the early years of Liyue, disputes would be brought to me so I could find a fair contract that would settle them. Should it be necessary, I will even spend years negotiating their worth until all are satisfied. Back then, I only saw contracts as something constant, something logical, without the need for emotion getting in the way.”
Childe looked at him pointedly. “You’re hardly emotionless, even if you don’t understand them all that much—which makes so many things make a lot more sense, now that I think about it. Surely there are emotional contracts too.”
Zhongli smiled at that, and it was the kind of expression that Childe wanted to wake up to every single day.
“One could say that marriage is one such ‘emotional’ contract, as it is an agreement between two individuals to love and cherish each other for the rest of their lives,” Zhongli replied in an extremely calm voice.
Oh.
Childe sucked in a breath, turning away in hopes that his surely quickly reddening cheeks wouldn’t be as obvious. He didn’t know how Zhongli could just say those kinds of things with a straight face.
Maybe he could…
It took him a minute to find the courage to say anything. The other Harbingers would laugh at him if they knew; Tartaglia, the eleventh Harbinger, couldn’t even find the words to ask the person he loved something. His hand tightened around Zhongli’s, and he tried to avoid gnawing on his own lip in his anxiety. No, he was Tartaglia. He couldn’t get so flustered and anxious over anything less than facing down Celestia itself.
Childe took a deep breath before turning to face Zhongli fully, holding his one hand between both of his own. It was now or never, he supposed.
“And if I asked you to consider making a contract like that with me?”
Zhongli’s eyes widened and his pupils dilated, his cheeks getting slightly redder and his beautiful lips slightly parted in his surprise. That was the first time Childe had ever seen him look anything remotely close to flustered or embarrassed and he was certain that he would never forget just how beautiful he looked.
It took a moment for Zhongli to find his composure again and for him to look Childe straight in the eyes.
“Then it would be the first contract I would not have to weigh.”
A breathy laugh escaped Childe’s mouth as he let go of Zhongli’s hands to cradle his cheeks and pull him forward into a breathless kiss. He was pulling at his injury again and their position was awkward, their teeth clacked together and their angles weren’t quite right, but it was exhilarating and he could feel the butterflies in his stomach taking flight. Zhongli kissed him back softly and when they finally pulled away from each other, their chests rising and falling with every breath they took, Childe kept holding on to him and pressed their foreheads together.
“I don’t deserve you, Zhongli,” Childe admitted, “but maybe I can be selfish for once.”
Zhongli kissed him again, chastely this time. “I believe that I am the one who gets to decide if you are deserving or not, and my answer should be very obvious. I did just agree to marrying you, after all.”
“Ah! I didn’t mean right away or anything,” Childe said in a slight panic. “I don’t want to rush things or to make you feel pressured to agree. I just… I don’t know, I just had to ask. Honestly, I don’t know what came over me.”
“That is perfectly alright, but please be aware that the likelihood of my answer ever changing is incredibly low.” Zhongli sounded so serious and Childe just had to kiss him again, peppering soft pecks over his cheeks and even one on the tip of his nose. He let out a beautiful sigh when Childe pressed another kiss to his lips, and feeling a bit daring, he sucked lightly on Zhongli’s bottom lip. The man shivered and pressed back harder, allowing the kiss to deepen.
It was fuelled by a strange mix of desperation and something else, though Childe wasn’t sure what it was. He didn’t care, really, as he breathed in all that was Zhongli and let himself be carried away by the sensations that were overwhelming him. There weren’t any hands on him for some reason, it was a relief to know that he wasn’t being touched since Zhongli had elected to grab tightly onto the bedsheets instead, seemingly so as to not aggravate his injury any further with wandering hands.
Childe pulled back slowly, reluctantly, when he had to catch his breath. He knew he wasn’t the best kisser in the world, but at the very least he was good enough to make a god breathless as well. Zhongli’s cheeks were no longer barely coloured, but now looked fully flushed and reddened. Childe was sure that his own looked the same.
“Childe…” Zhongli whispered, leaning in a bit more. “I love you so much that I am not certain I can find the proper words to describe these feelings. They are the most intense I have ever felt and I… I hope to be able to spend the rest of your life with you.”
Then, he was closing his eyes and pressing a chaste kiss to Childe’s lips before darting his tongue out and tracing it along the seam of his lips, causing Childe to gasp and open them. He held Zhongli’s face in his hands still and for the first time, he noticed just how soft and perfect his skin was.
One of Zhongli’s hands came up to hover over Childe’s chest, but slightly too hesitant to actually touch him.
A door opened downstairs and they broke apart, quickly turning to look as they heard someone else coming up the stairs. Zhongli was frowning and Childe was clearly agitated. While they hadn’t been doing anything particularly incriminating at all, it was still a private moment that they didn’t want to share.
There was a polite knock on the door and Zhongli called for them to come in. The Tianquan, the Yuheng, and the secretary of the Yuehai pavilion walked in, and the poor half-Adeptus squeaked and turned her face away in embarrassment when she saw both of them sitting on a bed. Childe nearly laughed—it’s not like they weren’t fully clothed.
The Tianquan, on the other hand, looked up at the ceiling for a moment and maybe muttered out a half-hearted curse or prayer (Childe couldn’t tell which—unlike the Snezhnayan ones, the ones in Liyue were quite hard to tell apart from tone alone) before completely ignoring Childe’s presence and focusing all her attention on Zhongli.
“Since you are the… organizer… for the Rite of Parting for Rex Lapis, I have come to ask for your guidance on a certain matter. We were uncertain of what should be done to send off Cloud Retainer, especially with one Rite already fully prepared.”
Zhongli hummed in thought for a moment. “The Rite of Parting, while ancient, was only created as a way to say farewell to the Adepti who passed after the end of the Archon war. There was a mass celebration for all those who had fallen, and some elements of that were later expanded upon the death of another Adeptus many years later to become the Rite of Parting. While there is no precedent specific to the Rite that says that it can be held for two Adepti, I do not see why it would not be possible.”
He glanced over at Ganyu, who was looking at him with tears in his eyes, and then over to Keqing. “Cloud Retainer has always been one who honoured both tradition and innovation, and she was also aware that I am not dead. For all who know the truth, the Rite will be for her. For those who don’t, let them mourn the passing of Rex Lapis as well. Though I wish that we could hold a Rite solely for her, the materials required, the monetary cost… it would be too much to gather everything once more on such short notice.”
Childe was tempted to offer his extensive bank account to help fund it, since he had already seen the costs of the preparations and was prepared to simply write it off. Before he could say anything, though, the conversation moved along without him.
“If I may,” Ganyu said as she stepped forward. “Cloud Retainer was like a mother to me, and I know that she would likely consider it an honour to be glorified at the same time as Rex Lapis. So long as everything is conducted with pure and honest intentions, I think—no, I know—that she would be pleased.”
“Very well then. I assume there are a few other preparations that must be made to add to the ceremony. Will you be able to handle that?” Ningguang asked and Zhongli nodded. “Wonderful. Please let me know if you require any assistance for that.”
Zhongli nodded once. “Of course.”
Once the three women had left, Childe smiled and reached for Zhongli’s face once more. “So…” he said, a sly smile on his face, “shall we continue from where we left off then?”
The hurried kiss Zhongli pressed to his lips was the only answer he needed.
When Childe was feeling well enough to get out of bed and walk around—though Baizhu had thoroughly lectured him and reminded him that he hadn’t fully recovered yet—he thought he should go visit his subordinates at the Northland Bank. Knowing them, they had probably been incredibly worried about him this entire time. Zhongli walked beside him, offering his arm whenever they needed to go upstairs to give him some extra support. It was sweet, even though Childe had already managed to go up and down stairs several times without assistance.
When Zhongli pushed open the doors of the bank and they entered, Ekaterina looked up from the papers on her desk and practically screamed as she rushed out to meet him.
“Master Childe! You’re alright!” Even from behind her Fatui mask, Childe could see that she was quite close to tears from how emotional she was.
“Good to see that you’re doing well too, Ekaterina,” he laughed. “I’m still recovering, but I’m doing much better now! I’ll be back to work in no time—”
“And by that he means he’ll be back to doing paperwork,” Zhongli interrupted with a stern glance. “He is not permitted to go debt collecting until Doctor Baizhu gives him a clean bill of health.”
Childe grumbled and rolled his eyes in response, but it was fairly obvious that he didn’t mean it at all. Zhongli was just looking out for him and making sure he didn’t re-injure himself before he had fully recovered from the first one. The scar would be quite large and obvious, but Childe could only see it as a reminder of his hard-fought freedom. Zhongli, on the other hand, saw it as something that had nearly taken away any chance they had.
Ekaterina nodded. “I understand. Don’t worry, Mister Zhongli, we’ll make sure he has so much paperwork to do that he won’t have time to cause any trouble at all.”
“And here I thought I was your boss,” Childe muttered, causing her to laugh. “Now the two of you are ganging up on me.”
“We only do it because we care,” she replied flippantly. “Anyway, there is something I have to return to you.”
She hurried back and took out a small box, opening it to show Zhongli’s Geo vision and a folded piece of paper. After passing them out, Ekaterina smiled. “Your friend, Xiao, he asked me to hold on to them right before everything that happened the other week. I’ve kept them safe in the bank all this time.”
Zhongli simply thanked her and reattached the vision to his coat, while Childe unfolded the paper and easily recognized the childish drawing of himself and Klee beating up ruin guards together. Archons, that child was too adorable. He would treasure this drawing forever.
“Oh, and there was one other thing,” Ekaterina mentioned suddenly as if she had just remembered it. “Please follow me.”
She walked them up to his office and Zhongli made him sit down in his chair to rest for a moment against his protests. He hadn’t thought that the funeral consultant and ex-Archon (as he had learned soon after—he was kind of irked that Zhongli had simply handed over his gnosis to the Tsaritsa, though) would be such a mother hen when he was concerned, but it only made him more endearing, in Childe’s opinion. Ekaterina returned soon later with a large box, and it seemed to be almost overflowing with paper.
“Since the trade between Liyue Harbour and Snezhnaya has reopened, we have been gathering these for you and holding them until your return. There’s been quite a backlog, as you can see.”
Childe wasn’t sure what she was talking about, but then she dumped the contents out onto his desk. His jaw dropped and his eyes went wide when he saw just how many letters had piled up on the table and spilled onto the floor.
“What the…” he said in disbelief, and Ekaterina simply plucked one off the top of the pile and handed it to him.
“They’re from your family. All of them.”
In shock, Childe kept glancing between her and the letters for a solid minute. Ekaterina only smiled politely.
“I suggest you get started on reading them all. It may take a while.”
Once she left the room, Childe turned to Zhongli, looking completely overwhelmed.
“How about instead of answering all of these, we just go visit my family in Snezhnaya? I promised my little brother that I would bring Xiao to visit too.”
“Hm yes, perhaps visiting your home would do you some good so long as you are still resting,” Zhongli replied. “I look forward to meeting your family.”
“It’s a plan then,” Childe said with a grin before pressing a quick kiss to Zhongli’s temple. “I’ll start making preparations after I write one reply.”
It had taken a long time and many more challenges than any of them could have anticipated, but somehow everything had worked out in the end and he couldn’t be more thankful. With a smile on his face, Childe picked up a pen and cleared a spot on his desk to write a letter on a blank page.
Dear Mother, Father, Tonia, Anthon, and Teucer:
I’ve been quite busy here in Liyue and it makes me overjoyed to have finally received your letters. I am hoping to return home to visit soon, and I promise to bring Xiao, my friend (you may have heard of him from Teucer), and Zhongli, the man I want to marry someday. I love him so much and I hope that you all will as well. He means the world to me, and honestly, I don’t think that fully explains how I feel either. I hope you’re proud of me, Mother. Your son finally fell in love.
I hope that you are all well, and I promise to tell you all of the exciting things that I’ve seen while working at the Liyue Institute of Toy Research. I’m sure Zhongli would be thrilled to tell you all his stories, and Xiao probably will too.
Love you always and see you soon.
Ajax