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Yeah, it was weird at first.
When Bee asked you out, of course you were happy. Happier than you’d been in months. You were so happy, in fact, that you bedded him before you even realized he’s still with GF. That was some awkward pillow talk.
After he explained everything, you remember the weight of choice on your shoulders. Either share him, or lose him again. Both options made you unhappy, but you couldn’t go back to those months of isolation, back to the days where you’d sit on your bed, staring down your gun with dark thoughts. You couldn’t do it all over again.
For the first few times you hung out, there wasn’t much conversation. Shitty small talk that never went anywhere. You were beginning to think that maybe you’d never get over it.
Surprisingly, it was Bee himself that made you guys bond.
“So how did you guys meet?” GF asked. She was sitting on the couch with you as Bee was showering.
“Uh, well, at a bar.”
“You guys snuck into a bar?” She snorted. “Badass.”
You laughed. “Yeah, well, we were different people. Anyway, I convinced him and our friend to go graffiti shit with me. Then I robbed a liquor store and we got so drunk that they crashed at my place.”
She gave you a confused look that you mistook for judging your past mistakes. Your face fell and you looked away before she spoke again.
“Really? You don’t seem like the criminal type.”
Oh, if she only knew. “Uh, well, like I said, I’m a different person now.”
“I believe you.” She really meant that, and it made you feel proud of yourself for the first time in a while. “Who asked out who?”
You flushed, remembering that night. “I think it was mutual.”
She hummed, glancing over at the bathroom door before grinning mischievously. “So, what’s the most embarrassing thing about him?”
You chuckled. “Damn, GF, you’re already looking for dirt? Uh, let me think.” You were silent before you finally thought of something non-sexual. “He’s fucking obsessed with cartoons.”
She lightly pushed your shoulder. “Hey I said embarrassing! That’s just cute.”
“Whatever, I can’t think of anything right now!”
She giggled as Bee stepped out of the bathroom, drying his hair. He looked between the two of you and raised an eyebrow.
“What’re you laughing about?”
“Nothing, baby, don’t worry about it,” you answered, immediately cringing. You still hadn’t gotten used to calling him pet names or showing too much affection in front of GF. It just felt weird, even though you knew she’s cool with it.
“Anyway,” Bee continued, walking over to the couch with the towel draped around his neck. “We still seeing this movie?”
“Planned on it,” you replied, grabbing the remote from the coffee table and opening Netflix. “Was just waiting on you. Thought you fucking drowned in there, you were taking so long.”
He laughed and said “Fuck off,” as he sat between you and Gf, laying down so his head was resting on GF’s side and his legs were draped over yours. She leaned down to kiss the top of his head and you tried to fight off the surge of jealousy. You had to get over this whole ‘being possessive’ thing. He was her’s as much as he’s yours.
Over time, you and GF got closer, starting to hang out even when Bee wasn’t around. She’s a genuinely nice person, and always brightened your day. You began to consider her a close friend. Some nights, she’d stay over at your house with Bee, and it was you who suggested that you’d share the bed. It was big enough; there was no reason someone had to sleep alone on the couch.
It was during one of those sleepovers that you began to feel something you didn’t quite recognize. Bee and GF were already asleep, but you were having trouble relaxing. You couldn’t get comfortable on your back, so you rolled over to spoon Bee. Unfortunately for you, you reached too far and ended up placing your hand on GF’s side.
You recoiled with enough force to wake Bee. He looked back at you, sleep and confusion in his eyes. You quickly apologized, kissing his forehead and rolling to your other side. Your hand felt like it was on fire. For some reason, your mind instantly became static and you started shaking.
You felt Bee roll over to hold you. He kissed the back of your neck and whispered so he wouldn't wake GF up.
“Nightmare?” he asked groggily.
You shook your head ever so slightly. “No, just can’t sleep.”
“Hm. Can I help?”
“Not while she’s in bed with us.”
“Fucking pervert.”
You chuckled and untangled yourself from him, standing from the bed. “I’m gonna go smoke.”
He nodded and rolled back over to cuddle GF. The sting of jealousy was getting less and less noticeable, but it was still there.
You spent a good part of an hour smoking and mindlessly watching TV in the living room. Why did you freak out so badly? It wasn’t like you’ve never touched her before. Hell, you hug her sometimes when you say your goodbyes, she’s jokingly sat on your lap when you refuse to scoot over on the couch, she has this annoying habit of pinching your cheeks when you get frustrated or angry. Why was a simple hand on her side too much?
You’re brought out of your thoughts by the sound of footsteps quietly padding their way into the room. GF barely looked awake, hair and shirt tousled from sleep. The static returned to your brain and you shook it away. You didn’t want to worry her.
“What’re you doing up?”
“Could say the same for you,” she said, walking over and sitting on the couch. You didn’t realize you were subconsciously inching away from her.
“Can’t sleep. It’s normal for me.”
She nodded. “Yeah, that's what BF said. You know, one of these days, you’re gonna have to let me in on this inside knowledge between you guys. I want to help you, too.”
You bristled. It was hard enough to have one person worry about your mental health. You didn’t think you could handle another.
“I’m honestly surprised he hasn’t told you already. He’s pretty shit with secrets.” You tried to stay lighthearted and write it off, but she continued.
“He said you’d tell me when you’re ready.”
You started to feel anger coursing through your body. ‘Avoidance response’, your therapist called it.
“Well, I’m not fucking ready!”
You instantly froze, realizing you had just shouted loud enough to wake Bee. You relaxed your body and slumped against the back of the couch, rubbing your face with your hands.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to yell,” you sheepishly apologized.
“It’s okay, I know.”
You lowered your arms and stared at the ceiling. This night was getting worse and worse. What the fuck was wrong with you?
“My…” you started, hesitating. “My… therapist… said I get pissed because my brain doesn’t want to think about it. I don’t mean to be a dick.”
“You don’t have to apologize, you know. I already know all this.” She laughed. “You’re not a difficult guy to read, you know.”
“Gee, thanks,” you deadpanned. Deep inside, you were embarrassed to know that you weren’t as good at hiding your emotions as you thought you were.
You felt a jolt go up your spine as she reached out and grabbed your hand. You wanted to pull away so badly, but you didn’t.
“We never have to talk about it if you don’t want to. Doesn’t change how I think of you. You’re still a good person.”
You went stiff as you blinked away the tears forming in your eyes. This was… weird. She’s a good friend, sure, but why did those words mean so much to you? It’s almost the same as when Bee compliments you…
The static returned.
You quickly retrieved your hand and stood up. You couldn’t be there anymore. Something about her made your mind fuzzy and your stomach hurt. You wished you could figure it out.
She sighed and got up too, walking towards the bedroom. “Are you going to bed soon?”
You were unable to speak, so you nodded. After she left, you smoked the rest of the cigarettes in your pack and fell asleep on the couch just as the sun was starting to rise.
Since that night, she started acting differently towards you. You would’ve expected more hostility. Instead, she started being more affectionate. She’d cook food for you when you had a rough day at work, she’d constantly compliment you, she’d lean on you when you were watching TV. It was almost like she was flirting with you.
That couldn’t be right. She knew you weren’t interested in women.
Right?
After a few days of thinking, you decide to suck it up and ask Bee.
“Hey, I have a question,” you said, exhaling smoke.
“Sure, what’s up?”
You fidgeted uncomfortably, moving the pillow a bit more up on the headboard of the bed. “Don’t fucking laugh at me if I’m wrong, but, does GF… like me?”
He stared at you dumbly for a second before he realized what you meant. “Why would you care, aren’t you gay?”
You flushed. “I’m not interested, asshole, I’m just curious. She’s been giving me vibes.”
He snorted as he snubbed out his cigarette. “Vibes, huh? Well, yeah, she’s mentioned it once or twice. She thinks you’re cool, dude.”
You suddenly felt your heart skip a beat, plunging you into a spiral of confusion and static. In your past, stuff with girls never worked out. You had just given up with them and stuck to men. So why were you so interested in what GF thought of you?
“Do you have a crush on her?” Bee asks mockingly, giving you a shit-eating grin.
You flushed harder, everything finally clicking in your mind. Holy shit.
He gasped, eyes lighting up with more excitement than you’ve ever seen. “No fucking way. She’s gonna lose her mind!”
“Shut up! I’m having a fucking crisis over here, man.”
He tried to settle down, failing as he grabbed your hand and squeezed it. “Why are you freaking out?”
“I… I’m not into women. I never thought-, not after-”
Images of Cassandra and Nene flashed in your mind briefly and it took everything you had not to crush Bee’s hand from fear. You inhaled deeply and tried again.
“I thought I already had everything figured out.”
“It’s okay to question, you know. I didn’t really know I was into men before you. Sometimes, shit happens.”
You exhaled a shaky breath and ran your fingers through your hair. “Fuck, I’m questioning, huh?”
“Scary, right?” He leaned over and kissed your shoulder. “It’ll be okay, baby. Do you want me to ask her out for you?”
You went tense and quickly shook your head. “N-no. I don’t think it’d work out.”
“Why not? I know she likes you back, so there’s not a problem there.”
Your face got hotter. “I, uh, don’t think I could ever do…” You gestured between your naked bodies. “... this with her. I don’t think I’m built that way.”
“You really think she’s gonna mind if you can’t get it up for her?”
You shoved him away from you. “Dude!”
He chuckled and laid flat on his back, looking up to the ceiling. “What, are you embarrassed? That’s not the cocky douchebag I know.”
“Fuck off.”
He grinned again. “She won’t mind. She has me for that.”
“Please do not talk about banging your girlfriend while you’re literally naked in my bed,” you groaned.
“Sorry, babe. But for real, talk to her.”
You cocked your head. “You’re surprisingly chill with this idea.”
“It’d make my life easier,” he replied, shrugging. “Then I wouldn’t have to keep worrying about any jealousy between you guys.”
You cringed. You didn’t think it was that noticeable. “Fair enough. Thanks.”
You put out your cigarette in the ashtray and laid down, letting him pull you to his chest. You sighed into his neck, kissing there lightly. “I love you.”
It took a while to come to terms with the idea of liking a girl. You’d spent your whole life swearing up and down that you were gay, or at the very least, heavily male leaning. You weren’t even sure how to bring it up to her.
You got an opportunity a couple weeks later.
You had just got home from work, walking into the living room to see Bee and GF cuddling on the couch, watching some documentary. You went to the bedroom to quickly change, and when you got back, they made a spot for you.
“How was work?” GF asked.
“Usual,” you replied, taking your seat by Bee’s feet. You took a look at your phone and frowned at the red notification.
“Uh, hey Bee, bad news.”
“Huh, what?” he asked, sitting up to look at your phone.
“Severe thunderstorm warning.”
You could see the colour drain from his face instantly. You expected that. What you didn’t expect was that GF would have the same reaction. You furrowed your brows at her.
“You’re scared of storms, too?”
She nodded, terrified. It made your heart sink.
Suddenly, the apartment was lit by lightning. You feel Bee grip your leg tightly in anticipation, and you grabbed his hand just as thunder boomed. They both shook with the room. You thought for a moment before getting up.
“Where are you going?” Bee asked, panic clear in his voice.
You gestured for him to wait, going into the bedroom and coming out with a blanket. You stood in front of them on the couch.
“Scoot over.”
He quickly did so and you sat between them, throwing the blankets over everyone’s shoulders. You hesitated for a moment before pulling them both into your chest. You blushed as you felt GF grip the front of your shirt.
“Thank you, Pico,” she said quietly.
“No problem,” you mumbled back, peeking at Bee. He smiled at you, instantly changing his smug tone with fear as another bout of thunder came.
You sat back and held them for a bit as the worst of the storm rolled over. Eventually, the thunder calmed down, but you stayed there. They didn’t seem to mind, instead nearly falling asleep from the adrenaline crash. You gently shook them awake and asked if they wanted to go to bed.
You expected to lay down in the normal positions, but instead, Bee and GF took the sides and gave you the middle.
“You can’t be serious.”
“What if another storm comes through?” Bee asked. You both knew that wasn’t gonna happen. That prick.
You flushed and quietly laid down, being flanked by both people immediately. You wrapped your arms around their backs and let them nuzzle into your sides. It was weird, but also kinda nice.
“Goodnight!” Bee called out.
“Night,” you responded, kissing him on the forehead. You hesitated, then did the same for GF. She beamed at you, making your stomach do a flip and you had to look away.
You could get used to this.
~~~~~
“I’m not gonna have to rap battle your dad, am I?”
GF laughs, kissing your cheek. “No, you’re not a musician. Are you?”
You shake your head. “I only battled Bee to get back at him. I’d like to think of myself more of a DJ than anything else.”
She hums and lays her head back on your chest. You turn your attention back to the TV. You can’t wait until Bee gets home from work so you can tell him the news.
The static disappeared.