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It was the middle of 1965. Some time ago Ray had introduced some friends to Jim to play in a band since he was in awe of the curly haired boy ( his voice, of course).
In love? Well, too. Long ago, but he had never deigned to say it.
And he was sure he would never tell him... Jim really didn't seem to have any interest.
Returning to the point, he presented him to them but it didn't work because they believed that his ideas were not good for that band. Then Ray thought, and went to introduce him to his other (even closer) friends.
They were Robby and John.
What happened next is history. They formed The Doors and now they were in full rehearsal.
Ray couldn't stop watching Jim, he loved the divine way he moved. Obviously he was in his own world singing, but Ray on his organ turned his head a lot just to see him.
His hair bounced off his shoulders as his slim figure brought out those leather pants so tight to him. And if that wasn't enough, the shirt flowed heavenly, leaving little to the imagination.
He could be hypnotized just by looking at him... He smiled and continued playing the organ as usual, even though he was thinking about him all the time. His touch with the keys all felt dedicated to the curly-haired boy.
Jim's voice was sweet and smooth like a cup of hot chocolate. It entered the ears of his bandmates so melodious that it caused them to unintentionally smile.
The same could be said of the other instruments, but now they were finished.
They were packing their things while Ray thought about his girlfriend Dorothy... and Jim. Hell, how could he stop thinking about him? He remembered the whole session back in his head.
Suddenly, Jim stood in front of him with a smile. Looking into his eyes, his pupils were dilated as usual and that never mattered to him. They both used drugs in those days, but no one to the same magnitude as Jim.
"Hey, would you like to go have a drink with me?"
For Ray, that was a surprise. After so many conflicts, it seemed that he forgot several of them. Moments in which he threw things at him, they yelled at each other and just once that still seems strange to him... Ray hugged him and he immediately calmed down.
He wanted it to happen again.
"Sorry Jim, you know I have things to do... "
He didn't want to refuse, but he wanted to focus on other things. Being with Jim would only complicate what he thought... he was very nervous.
{Ray's pov. }
"Oh, uh... It's okay. What if I walk you home?"
Once again, Jim was a box of surprises. What could I tell you? I couldn't deny anything to that face that was looking at me so tender with those dilated irises. I wanted to think about it, yet I couldn't help speaking involuntarily.
"Sure, come with me. "
Although I was somewhat stunned by my brusqueness, it was all worth it just by seeing Jim's small smile. Fuck, he looked like a happy adorable kid.
We began to walk together as I saw that he laughed alone and staggered from time to time. Sometimes I can't bear my parental urges and I swore I just wanted to protect him... That's just what I did. When I saw that he was slowly fading, I grabbed his arm tightly and pulled him close to me.
"Oh thanks. "
He said with his tone so soft and fragile while laughing.
I smiled too.
As soon as we arrived, Jim threw himself in my couch, expanding fully with a huge yawn. We both sat like this for a long time or with me moving to clean a couple of things that I hadn't realized how messy it was. I was waiting for Jim to make some decisive move and leave. I mean, it wasn't something very entertaining what was happening. However, I turned to see him and... he was tripping balls.
What a way to not get bored... Isn't it?
"Ray, Ray... what if we do something better?"
"What?"
"Let's fuck. Don't you think that's a lot more fun?"
Jim said to which my face put on all possible colors. I expected him to laugh or something to know it was a joke, but he didn't.
"Please... "
God, I was blank. I could see his vulnerable and small figure looking at me with those lost eyes searching for an answer. He... always looked so good, today, he overdid it.
Sorry God for what I'm about to do...
"Well, if that's what you want. "
I gulped, even though I knew I wanted him for a long time.
"I knew you were fun under all that serious and careful facade!"
Little by little I approached him while I watched him move his hands towards my shoulders. I licked my lips imagining what it would feel like. I never would've believed this could happen.
We slowly brought our lips together in a kiss that was soft and slow at first... tasting each other. It intensified as Jim's drunken needs made him more aggressive even though he really wasn't.
"Do you... do you really want this?"
I asked after parting because of our lack of air.
"Do you think I doubt it? I've wanted something with you for years Ray. "
He paused a second just to analyze what he was going to say.
"I always loved how much you committed to the band... Careful, and I knew how you looked at me... And how you still watch me. You like me and me... Me too. "
...
"Jim is true... I love you. "
I was moved by absolutely everything he said. It wasn't just anything, I had always liked hearing Jim talk. Everything that came out of his mouth could come out as a poem, well, he IS a poet.
Totally perfect. I couldn't take it anymore... I've been reciprocated.
This time I lunged fiercely on him, bringing our lips together in a passionate kiss. I easily removed his clothes while listening to his heavy breathing and occasional moans. It was too fricking hot in here.
"Jim... Fuck Jim... "
"Ray, Ray, please. "
I pulled away a bit and saw his agitated figure with his eyes begging me... Wow, did I really do this? What a beauty.
Now I couldn't take it anymore. I couldn't let this moment pass. All my fantasies were coming true... His love for me was real. Blinded, I began to leave marks of all possible colors on his white and delicate skin. He was so pale, perfect for everything I was about to do.
I loved to hear him beg, I could only smile each time he did.
By removing his famous leather pants, he was already fully exposed to me.
"Take your clothes off too. "
Jim sighed.
"Oh yeah, sorry. "
I had completely forgotten, so I took off my coat and shirt... I didn't consider the other necessary.
"You are beautiful. "
"No more than you. "
I went back to kiss him momentarily only to later low myself towards his entire exposed torso and give him some delicate kisses. He was looking at me carefully and his intensity gave me a little bit of insecurity... I raised my voice for a second.
"Can I... Can I do it?"
I asked as I lightly squeezed down his thigh.
He just nodded, looking at me with a face of "how many times have I repeated it, do what you want silly" and that was enough for me. I positioned myself close to his entrance and wet several fingers to finally gently insert them gradually.
I noticed how he moved a little uncomfortable but my keyboardist hands only helped my task. Seeing him smile, it felt momentary as I had finished preparing him.
It had been quite a while, but being with him, it felt like seconds.
I stood on top of him while looking directly into his eyes. We both looked at each other, without saying a word. However, everything felt full of love and maybe some intensity.
Slowly I began to enter his entrance while watching the expression on his face change. He closed his eyes a little tightly and let out sighs that could pass as pitiful... I stopped because I knew it was hurting him. He himself was holding me by the shoulders.
"Ray uuuuh... "
"What's going on?"
"Move already... "
Even if he told me that, I kept waiting at least 3 more minutes... I wasn't desperate in the least, but Jim was already grimacing.
"If you keep up like this, I'd better ride you. Boring... "
I gave a little loud laugh. God, he was really desperate...
Now yeah, little by little I was moving causing the couch to make more and more noise. It wasn't very comfortable, but it was worth it just by hearing Jim's moans.
They were just as beautiful as his singing. Fuck, why was he beautiful in everything? I'm sooo lucky.
"More... Please, more!"
Jim looked at me with his furrowed eyebrows and a totally flushed face. God, this was all too much–
Involuntarily I was already starting to move faster, causing more obscene sounds to be heard in the place. Jim's moans were increasing and even sometimes you could hardly make out what he was saying.
"Yeah Rayyyyyyy! It feels so good. "
I couldn't take it anymore, and I was feeling him more and more tightening around me. I wasn't going to miss this opportunity... I grabbed his member while it seems that he took it by surprise. It's just– fuck. Just by seeing him now I could come, I wanted him to enjoy it so I started doing both at the same time.
"Oh– Ray!"
I heard him scream before he came fully into my hand. I wish I could describe better how he felt, but... it's that when he came I literally did too. The way he fully adjusted to me didn't leave me any more time before I completely came inside him in just a few minutes...
I was a little embarrassed about it.
Still, I looked at him one last time as we were both catching our breath. Him with his eyes closed while I admired the beauty of what I had done.
"That... That was very good."
Jim said to which I nodded happily. I didn't feel like talking, knowing what might happen after this. I know that after the calm comes the storm and there's nothing I would be more glad to see than Jim just sleeping in my arms peacefully.
"Hey, you love me right?"
"I do love you very much, Jim. "
I said, trying not to grin cheekily. I got off him and this time I sat on the couch. He didn't seem to move an inch after several minutes.
I got a little closer to see him better, since his hair was covering his eyes a lot. Now it was clear. He was sleeping... so soundly.
"I love you seriously. "
I whispered, technically to nothing.
I wanted to carry him, well... It was already very dark. He wasn't going home for a while at least. I wanted him to feel more secure if I'm present. I don't want anything bad to happen to him–... it may sound protective, but I love him very much and everyone knows he wasn't exactly a stable person.
I was afraid, very afraid of what might happen.
You never know, and that's my biggest fear.
As soon as I laid him down on my bed, I affectionately touched his hair. I swear I couldn't stop smiling inside or out. The man was so cute and handsome and cuddly all at the same time. It made me forget my previous thoughts a bit.
"I... I love you too. "
I heard him say in a whisper... Jim had said it...
"Ray... "
I was shocked, but my heart gave away what I felt. It was beating so fast and I almost wanted to scream. But... I controlled myself. I just settled down next to him, watching him continue sleeping a bit.
I didn't understand what I had done to deserve Jim... I will never understand. That was the last thing I thought before whispering a little "I love you Jim" and happily heading off to the realm of dreams.
How many times could I say those words? I don't know... It's not important, just believe those words. Because you are what matters the most to me.
Hearing you breathe around me was the cure for all my ills. Thanks Jim... for everything.