Chapter Text
“I’m sorry. I know how hard the pack’s been on you ever since the announcement of my mating. It was all my fault. I should’ve been there for you.”
Jeongguk sniffled, nose red and stuffy from all his crying. Jimin didn’t answer, and if it weren’t for the sound of his breathing, Jeongguk would think he had already left, and that thought alone made his heart clench.
But Jimin was still there, seated an arm’s length away from him, head hanging low as he dug his nails on his flesh like he always did.
Jimin was there, and he was willing to listen to him. That was all that mattered.
“I got too caught up in my own plans. I… I was so busy trying to do everything to break off this mating with him that I neglected you. I didn’t say anything to you until I had convinced him because I didn’t want you to get your hopes high over nothing. I didn’t want to tell you till I was sure it was over. If I could, I would've walked away and go to you but that wouldn't do anything good for us. We'd be banished and no other pack will accept us, our loyalty will immediately be questioned. I'm sorry I couldn't come to you sooner. I c-couldn’t bear to talk to you or even look at you ‘cause when I do… all I see is everything that I did to you. I hurt you, love. I’m so sorry for everything.”
Jimin remained silent.
“Our relationship was never one-sided. I have always had my eyes on you. I can’t remember when I started to like you, but one day I just… I found myself waiting for you to come to our cabin and pester me to come play with you.”
Jeongguk laughed softly, fond memories coming back to him.
“Sometimes I’d reject your advances just to prove to myself that whatever I was feeling wasn’t real, that it would soon go away, but it didn’t. It stayed the same, every single day. I’d stand behind the door, and I would wait for you to come. Whenever I heard you knock, I’d pretend to walk to the door just so you wouldn’t know how long I’d been waiting for you there.”
Jeongguk thought it was silly too, but it was all he could do about his feelings back then.
“Do you know how hard it was to not really show how I felt openly when you smiled so big that your pretty eyes disappeared into crescents? Your cheeks were—still are—so plump and red. You’ve always been so lovely. You made my heart flutter, and made me feel these fuzzy, strange things . I didn’t know what to do with myself so I’d slam the door in your face—not because I was angry, not because I didn’t want to see you—but I just needed a break from all the things you did to my heart. And when I’d opened the door, y-you… you’d still be there. Still waiting. Still smiling as if I didn’t slam the door in your face and told you to get lost.”
Jeongguk heard Jimin’s breath shudder, and he wanted to hold him because Jimin liked being held when he was sad, but Jeongguk didn’t think he deserved that.
“I loved every single moment I got to spend with you. You made me happy so effortlessly, and ever since I learnt that when I’d be old enough to get to court whoever I want, I always knew it was you who I wanted . I wanted to court you so badly, but when my parents found out about it, they were furious, especially my father. I ran to my mom, and asked her why I couldn’t court you, and she just told me that I could court whoever it is I wanted, as long as it was an omega. I begged my mother to convince my father that it didn’t have to be like that but nothing mattered to them, not even their own son’s feelings. . Father was pack alpha and I, being his only son, automatically was the next in line. And it didn’t matter what I wanted or not.”
Jimin sniffled, and Jeongguk could see the tears falling from his eyes, hating himself more for hurting his love like this.
“I knew you were waiting for me to come to you and court you—”
“Hm. I was…” Jimin said weakly.
“I’m sorry. It broke my heart that I couldn’t. I wanted to, I really did but I was young, and I was scared so I had no choice but to listen. I listened even though it killed me to see you so sad, even more so, 'cause it was my fault. I didn't do anything even though it killed me to see you smile whenever those stinky alphas gave you courting gifts. I wanted to be one of them. Free. Courageous. I wished I could be them. To openly court you, and shower you with my gifts. Then one day you came knocking at my door, asking me why I wouldn't court you, and I wanted to tell you the truth but I was scared you'd think I was a coward, which I am, so I... lied to you and said I didn't want to."
"You were mean to me, and you really hurt me back then." Jimin said, more to himself than to Jeongguk.
“I know, and I’m sorry.” Jeongguk sniffled. "You ran away, and you didn't come see me for twenty-two days. I know because I was behind the door everyday waiting for you. I thought you finally got tired of me. I thought you'd never come back, thought you'd never see me again. I thought you found someone else, and I told myself it was for the better.”
Jeongguk remembered how scared he was. He fell asleep every night wishing Jimin would come back.
“But you came back, and knocked at our door asking if you could… if you could court me. I felt so ashamed 'cause I never wished for things to end up that way, and that was the only reason why I rejected you, not because I didn’t like you but because I liked you too much, and wanted to be the one to court you. I should be the one to court you. I wanted to make things right first but it wasn’t that easy. My mother agreed to let me court you ‘cause she thought you were nice, and kind. She said you were perfect for me. She has always been on my side, but my father didn’t budge, and in our household, his opinion mattered the most.”
Jeongguk sighed.
“So I let you court me, thinking it would be fine with my father, and he probably got tired of me. It probably even stroked his ego that his son was so desirable that he was being courted. He a-agreed to it but on one condition. I should never mate you, and when the time comes, I must break up with you, and find an omega.”
Jimin’s hands balled into fists.
“I agreed to it. It… it was either that or nothing at all. It was the only way I could have you so I took the chance even though it pained me. It took me so long to say yes because I thought you would get tired, and change your mind and it could save us both the pain, but you didn’t. Every month, you’d come to our cabin, unfailingly, bringing me courting gifts, and I loved them all.”
Jeongguk remembered how he wouldn’t even let his mother touch them. He remembered how his younger self would insist on sleeping with all of Jimin’s courting gifts, only to cry when scolded by his mother.
“The scarf… the scarf. I didn’t throw it away. It was the first courting gift you gave me, and I still cherish it so much. I didn’t want to wear it at first because it was so precious I was afraid I’d ruin it but it was also too precious not to wear so I only always wore it to sleep—hugged it to sleep—‘cause it smelled like you. How could you think I threw it away?”
Jeongguk got up from his bed, and Jimin almost panicked, thinking he would leave but he went straight to one of his drawers, the one Jimin didn’t really touch, and rummaged through his stuff. Jeongguk had two chests in the cabin. One for the clothes he wore every day, for hunting, and other necessary garments, and the other one where he kept his stuff. Jimin wasn’t sure what was inside the second chest exactly except for the fact that the items were important. Jimin didn’t dare open that chest because Jeongguk told him clearly not to open it. If he ever had to put things inside, he should just leave it on top of the chest, and let Jeongguk do it. Jimin respected Jeongguk’s privacy.
Jeongguk pulled the knob of the bottom drawer, and pulled out something. When Jeongguk turned around, he was holding a rust-colored scarf.
It was the scarf Jimin gave him. His first courting gift.
Jimin’s eyes instantly watered, his lips quivering. “I thought… I…”
“I told you, I didn’t throw it away. I would never.” Jeongguk smiled, and handed Jimin the scarf. Jimin took it hesitantly.
The scarf was still as soft to touch like it was eight years ago, and it looked like it did eight years ago. It looked new and if it weren’t for the loose threads and some holes in it, Jimin would think it had never been used.
“I—” All the words Jimin wanted to say were caught in his throat, tears streamed down his face. Jimin’s grip on the scarf tightened as his emotions washed over him. Jeongguk sat down on the bed again, but this time closer to Jimin.
“All the things they told you that you are, none of them were true. All the rumors you’ve heard, all are lies. I did not bring him to our cabin. I did not sleep with him. I let him sleep in my spare room in my family’s cabin, and I slept here… in our home. I would never do that. Even holding him, being that close to him, I—it made me sick. I would never do that to you. You have to believe me.”
Jeongguk took the scarf from Jimin, and wrapped it around his neck carefully, and his heart skipped a beat when he saw how adorable his love was. Reminding him again of how in love he was with Jimin. He reached out for Jimin’s hand, and held it, giving him the chance to pull away but he didn’t so Jeongguk laced their fingers together. Jeongguk's heart ached. He had missed this. He missed the way the warmth from Jimin’s hand felt in his, he missed the way his hand enveloped Jimin. He missed Jimin.
“I want to mate you, too. I want you to be mine forever. I want it as much as you do. Trust me, love, I do."
"But you always held back…you didn't," Jimin mumbled.
"I was afraid I’d mate you, afraid I’d impregnate you, and then be forced to leave you because I have to mate another omega because I had to be pack alpha. I would never forgive myself if I did that to you. It was never because I don’t want you. How could I not want you… you’re all I ever wanted. You’re the only one I have ever loved. I mean it."
They were both crying. Relieved but regretful at the same time. All they needed was to talk, and clear their misunderstandings but both of them had been so afraid of hurting each other, and as a result, that was what they ended up doing. But who could blame them? Dealing with feelings wasn't easy. Most of the time, it was easier to assume than to ask. It was easier to think of the worst, easier to hurt himself. But they know better now.
Jeongguk squeezed Jimin’s hand. Jimin held onto him tighter.
“I’m so sorry I made you feel like I didn’t want you, that you were undesirable. I’m sorry I made you feel like you were alone, like you were the only one fighting for our relationship. I should’ve been better, I’m sorry I wasn’t. I should’ve been more courageous, and honest with you. I should’ve been more transparent about my love for you. I’m so sorry. I’ll be better.”
Jimin wanted to say so many things but all he could do was cry, overwhelmed with emotions. He rested his face on Jeongguk's chest, and cried silently while taking in his alpha's scent. Jeongguk smelled so good, it made him dizzy.
“I have—I have one more week before the ceremony to convince Mi Dam to break this off, and stop the mating, and if he does, we would have no problem. We could stay in the pack, and my father wouldn’t care at all. He would get off my back, and accept that I would never mate anyone but you.”
“What? What do you mean?” Jimin looked up, frowning.
“I got into an ugly fight with my father the night the Dalbit Pack visited here. The thought of losing you forever scared me. I couldn’t imagine living without you, and I don’t plan on doing so. I didn’t want to give up without a fight. I yelled at him, and told him I didn’t want to mate. I told him I didn’t want to be pack alpha, and that he should stop dictating me and let me live my life. I can’t believe I did that but it was all thanks to you. You made me brave, you made me strong.”
Jeongguk touched his jaw and winced playfully, Jimin laughed softly at that.
“Although I got hit real bad and it stung, it was worth it. I was finally able to say the things I have been so scared to say. It felt so liberating. He told me he would only allow it if Mi Dam wanted to end the union himself. He threatened me, and said he’d never be able to bear the shame of having a son who was rejected by his omega so I might as well forget he was my father.”
“He did?” Jimin gasped in disbelief. Jeongguk’s father didn’t seem like the type to say such things. He didn’t seem like the type to give up that easily.
“I was just as shocked when he told me, to be honest. I guess he’s tired of me and my mother always going against him, ganging up on him.” Jeongguk laughed. “I guess he finally realized that nothing would ever change my heart for you.”
Jimin buried his face in Jeongguk's neck again, punching his chest weakly. He was embarrassed, and quite disbelieving that he was hearing this from Jeongguk.
"I just need Mi Dam to answer now."
"How are you sure that he would do it?"
"I'm not, but he's a kind omega. A-and he loves someone else. I'm holding onto that."
"And what if he doesn't?"
"I'll do whatever it takes to be with you. I'm not afraid anymore. I have you, and that's all I need."
Jimin smiled at him, although his lips quivered, and his eyes watered.
“When this is all over, and if you forgive me—I-I know I’m not worth it. I hurt you. I was horrible to you, and I have failed you. But if you ever choose to forgive me, I want us to start over. I want to be yours forever. I promise I will change. I’ll be better—I will love you better. But if you choose not to, I'll respect your decision."
Jimin glanced up at Jeongguk.
Jeongguk looked so disheveled. His hair was a mess, bags under his red-rimmed eyes. His hands were trembling, and his face was wet with tears. He looked so worn out. Jimin could see it now, how affected Jeongguk was. They were both in equal pain.
Jimin had been selfish. He only thought of himself, only cared about his feelings without taking Jeongguk's into consideration. He didn't even spend a minute thinking that maybe Jeongguk didn't want all of this to happen. Jeongguk was burdened with all these responsibilities that came with being the pack alpha's only heir. Jeongguk was left with no choice, forced to mate. Forced to take the throne.
He was always so quick to doubt Jeongguk's love for him. He was always so quick to believe that Jeongguk would discard him, leave him. He always let his insecurities get the best of him. Jeongguk wasn't perfect; he had his flaws, but he was everything Jimin wanted.
Jeongguk treated him so well. He was there when his mother passed away, stayed by his side during the darkest moments of his life, and he helped him see the light. Jeongguk cared for him like no one else did.
And Jeongguk loved him as much as he did, if not more. Jimin knows that now.
Jimin leaned closer, and cupped Jeongguk's face. Jeongguk's eyes widened, taken aback, but he softened just as fast. Jimin caressed his cheek gently, and with all the fondness he felt for him said, "I went through so much to be with you. Do you think I'd give up that easily? I love you so much."
Tears were running down Jimin's face but this time, Jeongguk knew it wasn't because he was hurt or sad. Jimin was happy. Jeongguk let out a watery laugh. He pulled Jimin into a tight hug, buried his nose in his love's neck, and scented him softly, desperately. Jimin wrapped his arms around Jeongguk's trembling body. It slipped Jimin's mind that despite Jeongguk's cold and stoic exterior, he was softhearted, and a crybaby.
"Thank you for loving a simple beta like me. I'm so sorry for doubting you."
Jeongguk shook his head vehemently, still buried in Jimin's neck, although nothing came out of his mouth except the soft hiccups. Jeongguk's arms around his waist tightened.
"Love," Jeongguk hiccuped.
Jimin hummed, caressing Jeongguk's hair, letting his alpha cry his heart out. Jimin felt so bad, his heart sank to his stomach. How long must Jeongguk have had to endure all of this on his own? He left a soft peck on Jeongguk's forehead, and held him closer.
"I'll be g-good to you."
"You've always been good to me," Jimin cooed.
"Are you mine?"
"Of course, I'm yours," Jimin assured. "Are you?"
"Always. Always and forever."
Jimin noticed that Jeongguk was chewing his lower plump lip, a nervous habit. "Is everything okay? Do you want to tell me something?"
Albeit hesitantly, Jeongguk whispered. "Yoonsung."
It took a moment before Jimin fully recognized the implication of it, and when he did, he couldn't stop the giggle that came out of his mouth.
"Yoonsung's just a friend."
"He doesn't think the same."
"What do you mean?"
"He likes you, doesn't he?" Jeongguk's pout grew bigger.
Jimin giggled. "I don't know. I don't like him though. He's just a friend. A good friend."
Jeongguk whined.
"Why? Are you jealous?"
"I thought I'd die every time I saw you with him. I thought I'd die every time he touched you or when he was so close to you. I hated it. You are my love."
A smile formed on Jimin's face. It wasn't often that Jeongguk would admit to being jealous. Jimin wanted to take the opportunity to tease him but his alpha was in a vulnerable state right now, clinging to him so hard as if afraid he would leave.
"While we were apart, I never thought of anyone else but you. It has always been you, and it will always be. You don't have to worry about anything. My heart will always belong to you."
"Love you." Jeongguk mumbled sleepily. Jimin replied with a kiss on his cheek.
They fell asleep like that, with Jimin holding Jeongguk tightly in his arms.
Jimin went to Hoseok's cabin before heading to do his pack duties. Hoseok had been an amazing friend, and Jimin supposed he deserved to know everything that happened the other day.
Jimin's heart was racing, nervous about how Hoseok would react. He was the one who was there for him when he was hurting because of Jeongguk, and his own stupidity. He couldn't imagine how he'd react after finding out he and Jeongguk reconciled. Despite that, he couldn't help the smile that kept on escaping from his lips as he told Hoseok everything. He was expecting Hoseok to get upset at him for it but he leaped from his seat, and pulled him into a tight hug.
"I'm so happy for the both of you, you idiots!" Hoseok said, and by the way his voice was shaking, Jimin knew he was crying. Another thing he didn't expect.
"I thought you'd be mad," Jimin mumbled against his friend's shoulder, a little dumbfounded.
Hoseok grabbed his shoulders, and put him at an arm's length away. Jimin saw tears welling in his eyes but his mouth was shaped into an adorable heart from the way was grinning from ear to ear. Jimin couldn't help but mirror the expression.
"Who am I to be mad when you're—" Hoseok's words got caught up in the lump in his throat. "When you're so happy."
"You're making me cry!" Jimin pinched Hoseok's nipples, making his friend yelp.
"I wasn't really mad. I was upset at Jeongguk, yes. Well, he hurt you. But now that you told me everything, I feel bad for being so mean to him." Hoseok winced at the memories of harsh words he'd said directly and indirectly to Jeongguk. "I need to apologize to him."
"It's okay. He understands. In fact, he's grateful to you for taking care of me."
"As he should!" Hoseok perked up. "But really. I'm so happy for you. I was just waiting for you two to finally come to your senses. In my heart, I always knew you'd come back to each other."
"Shut up! It's so strange to hear you say stuff like that." Jimin chided, pressing his lips together to suppress a grin. He was certain his cheeks were red.
They laughed, and talked some more over a cup of tea and bread.
Jimin ran into Namjoon and Yoonsung when he was leaving the cabin. Namjoon smiled at him, a genuine smile. Jeongguk had probably told him. Yoonsung leaned in for a hug but Jimin stopped him midway. The alpha furrowed his brow, but his face lit up in realization just as fast.
Jimin grinned. "Jeongguk."
He was sure Jeongguk wouldn't genuinely mind but he didn't want to smell even a bit of Yoonsung, or of any other alpha. He didn't want to upset Jeongguk right after their heartfelt conversation.
"I get it," Yoonsung giggled, ruffling Jimin's hair instead. Namjoon laughed too, shaking his head.
Jimin beamed at them while bidding his farewell, and left straight for his duties.
Jimin and Jeongguk decided not to go back to living together until the mating was called off. Jimin would continue living with the couple, and Jeongguk at their cabin as usual. Although they could care less about what their pack mates would say about them, it would do more damage—to Jimin specifically—than good to live with an alpha who was still betrothed to another. Besides, they went through so much already. Being apart for less than a week was easy.
There was this underlying dread that things wouldn't end up the way they wanted. There was this fear inside Jimin that if things didn't go well, Jeongguk would easily leave him, and choose everything else over him but this time he wouldn't let the voices inside him win.
I only ever loved you.
I'll do whatever it takes to be with you.
This time, Jimin chose to trust Jeongguk.
A couple of days later, the Dalbit Pack visited their pack unannounced. They weren't supposed to be back until the mating ceremony which was in four days, so their visit made everyone in the pack raise their eyebrows. Regardless of this, their pack still bowed down to them to show their respect. After that, the pack was asked to retreat to their cabins as it was a discussion that needed to happenin private. Only the wolves in high positions stayed.
Throughout their rather short visit, Jimin's heart was pounding so hard it was all he could hear. His hands were clammy, and he had lost count on how many times he could feel his heart sinking. He waited patiently with Hoseok, their knuckles turning white with how hard they were holding onto each other's hands.
After what felt like hours, Namjoon came bursting through the door with a smile that made his dimples appear deeper than ever, one that he had never seen on Namjoon's face.
Hoseok and Jimin abruptly got up from their seats, waiting for Namjoon to catch his breath and speak. Jimin's hands were shaking so bad he thought he might faint.
"The union has been called off," Namjoon said breathlessly.
Hoseok screamed. Jimin broke down in tears.
Apparently, Mi Dam went down on his knees, and asked Jeongguk’s father, the present pack alpha, to cancel the mating. Mi Dam rejected Jeongguk, and said that it wasn’t right for the two of them to mate while his heart had always belonged to someone else. He apologized for taking so long to realize that, and was sorry for agreeing to the arrangement in the beginning, and wasting everyone’s time by unintentionally disgracing the Jeon's clan name. He wished Jeongguk all the best, and he hoped that he would find a mate more suited than him.
Jeongguk's father didn't say much, according to Namjoon. He said his father didn't do anything to try, and save the union, just like everyone else in the cabin expected him to. Strangely, the pack alpha looked rather relieved.
The next day, the entire pack was in complete shock at the announcement of the highly anticipated mating ceremony being called off out of the blue.
The entire pack thought that with Jimin no longer in the picture, Jeongguk and Mi Dam could get to know each other better. Everyone assumed their relationship was going smoothly, especially with the rumors of the potential mates spending time at Jeongguk’s cabin. Some had questions, few were in disbelief, and the rest just nodded, and accepted it.
"I will be stepping down as pack alpha in the next full moon and as you all know, my son, Jeongguk, will be taking over the position. With or without a mate," Jeongguk's father stated firmly.
Now, that was something that even Jeongguk had not expected.
Jimin's jaw dropped, staring wide-eyed at Jeongguk questioningly. Jeongguk was just as shocked, shaking his head in confusion.
"But he can't possibly be an ideal leader, he isn't even mated!" One of the Elderly argued. It was as expected. The Elderly had been in the pack probably even before the pack alpha was born. They lived by their old-age rules, and traditions.
"I know, and he doesn't have to. He's proven himself worthy of the position, hasn't he?"
The pack mates went quiet but soon enough, everyone started murmuring within themselves.
"You cannot break our pack's tradition! It is only fair for him to mate an omega to acquire the position. Every pack alpha does that. You did that too, pack alpha!" Omega Sol spoke harshly.
The crowd agreed, and the pack members raised their voices, disagreeing with what the pack alpha wanted. The pack was not one to stray from their traditions, they liked order and unity. It didn’t sit with them right that things were changing so quickly without any reason. First, the break off of the union between Jeongguk and Mi Dam, and now this? Everyone had something to say, and they all wanted to be heard.
" Stop !" The pack alpha growled , successfully shutting everyone up. "Did you all forget what he has done for this pack? Do you remember how we thought we were all going to die from hunger last winter but thanks to my son who baited, and hunted a bear, we all survived? Or did you forget when he saved your misbehaving child—” Jeongguk’s father pointed his fingers at Omega Sol, “—who trespassed another pack’s territory from dying at the hands of the rogues?”
Everyone fell silent.
“Have you got nothing to say now, huh? I am pack alpha! How dare you question my decision? I know it has always been our pack’s tradition to mate to acquire a certain position in the clan, and that damned tradition has caused many wolves to suffer—to mate and be bound to someone they barely knew forever —and sacrifice their own happiness, and their whole life! I know because I also went through it, but I was lucky to meet my omega.”
Jeongguk’s father smiled fondly at his mate who was beside him. By the looks of it, Omega Jeon was at a loss for words because of her alpha’s sudden show of affection so openly. Nevertheless, she smiled back, and held his hand. Jeongguk, on the other hand, looked crushed, so close to crying. Jimin couldn’t help but let out a watery laugh.
“But not everyone is as lucky as me! You all know how painful it is to ignore your wolf! Would it be so easy for you to say that if it were you? Or if it were your sons? I was a moron, and I forced my own son to do something that was against his will, and as a result, my son drifted away from me. He despises me.” In the corner, Jimin could see Jeongguk shaking his head. “Do you know how much that pained me as his father? All because of an archaic tradition that refuses to change with time?”
No one dared to say a word, or talk back to the pack alpha. Everyone’s heads were bowed down in submission. It was silent save for the heavy breathing of the pack alpha, and the soft sniffling of Jeongguk and his mother.
“So now, as your current pack alpha, I am breaking this tradition in hopes that no wolves in this pack shall be forced to mate against their will. Everything will change, starting from today.”
Jimin walked slowly from the couple’s cabin to theirs holding a pile of clothes in his hands at the crack of dawn. It was still dark, the sun was yet to rise, and the pack was quiet, nearly everyone was still asleep during this hour. Jimin basked in the melodious chirping of the birds that filled his ears, shivering when the cold wind caressed his skin.
It had been two weeks since the announcement of the mating’s call off, and they both decided that they should go back to living together.
To be honest, Jimin had been antsy about moving back in with Jeongguk. What if Jeongguk regretted his decision? What if things never went back to the way they used to be? What if this was all it was for the two of them?
He took a deep breath when he was in front of their cabin. Jimin wondered if Jeongguk was even awake at this hour. Jimin lifted his hand to knock at the door but it was shaking too hard to properly function. He tried again, but before his fist could touch the surface of the door, it swung open.
Jeongguk was standing right in front of him. He was smiling at him. The kind of smile that made his front teeth poke out, made his eyes crinkle at the sides, and his nose scrunch. The kind of smile that made his eyes glisten so prettily.
And a rust-colored scarf was wrapped delicately around his neck.
Jimin glanced up at Jeongguk, his eyes burning with unshed tears. Jeongguk’s smile faltered upon noticing the somber expression on Jimin’s face. He immediately pulled Jimin carefully inside, and shut the door behind him.
“Why are you crying? Are you not happy to see me?” Jeongguk asked, cradling Jimin’s face in his hands.
Jimin leaned into the warmth of Jeongguk’s palm, tears falling freely on his face. “I’m happy,” he whispered. “So happy.”
“I am, too,” Jeongguk replied, voice quivering.
As it was too early in the morning, they decided to just rest, blissfully waiting for the time to pass.
They laid down on their side of beds as usual but this time they were closer than ever. One of Jeongguk's hands was wrapped around Jimin's middle while the other rested as a pillow beneath Jimin’s head. Jimin was snuggled up on Jeongguk's chest, with both of his hands in between their chest.
Jimin felt so warm and content.
For a while, they were just staring at each other, drowning in each other's beautifully hypnotic eyes.
It felt strange but so familiar at the same time to just lay down on their bed with Jeongguk. He had been away for nearly a month. Jimin was unsure how he managed to sleep on the bed in the couple's cabin without Jeongguk's warmth. Jimin snuggled impossibly closer , squishing his reddened cheeks that made his plump lips jut out. Jeongguk giggled.
"What's funny?" Jimin asked genuinely.
Jeongguk kissed both of his cheeks in lieu of an answer. Jimin blushed even harder. One seeing the blush, Jeongguk pouted his lips, and sucked Jimin's left cheek gently, and then did the same to the right one.
"Why did you do that?" Jimin gasped, feeling his slightly wet cheeks with his hands.
"How can I not when my love's cheeks are this cute?" Jeongguk cooed, peppering kisses on Jimin's cheeks face. Jimin giggled.
This close, Jimin couldn't help but stare at Jeongguk, at how beautiful he was. Jimin must've stared for too long, too intensely.
"What?" Jeongguk said with a smile, it seemed to never leave his face ever since Jimin entered their cabin. Jimin didn't answer, letting his gaze take in all of Jeongguk's face.
Jimin wanted to wait for a couple more days, maybe weeks before getting too close to Jeongguk. He thought it would only be proper to refrain himself from initiating anything for they both have been too worn out due to the events that had occurred but how could he stop himself when he was so close to Jeongguk, when he could feel his heartbeat beating against his palm?
He had always prided himself for being patient, but right now he was anything but.
Before Jeongguk could say another word, Jimin slowly leaned over, and pressed his lips against Jeongguk's. Jeongguk froze for a second because he didn't expect Jimin to kiss him, but when the initial shock faded away, he let his eyes flutter shut, and let Jimin take control.
Jimin started with a few quick close-mouthed kisses before slipping his hands around Jeongguk's neck, tilting his head to the side to deepen the kiss. Jeongguk put his hand on Jimin's waist, and started to draw circles with his thumb. Jimin tugged at his bottom lip, sliding his hand down from Jeongguk's chest to his stomach, feeling it go taut at the touch. Jeongguk pulled Jimin closer by the waist, and wrapped his leg around him like he never wanted to let go. Jimin could feel heat pooling at his stomach, the softness of Jeongguk's lips against his, leaving him in a daze. He poured all of his emotions into the kiss. He wanted to make up for lost time, and this kiss was only a start.
They kissed for what felt like hours, neither of them wanting to let go. When Jimin started to feel a little dizzy, and out of breath, he pushed gently at Jeongguk's chest. Jeongguk understood quickly and pulled away.
"Wow," Jeongguk panted. "Missed me that much, love?"
Jimin had the decency to blush . He nodded gingerly, unable to look Jeongguk in the eye. Jeongguk was so endeared. He tilted Jimin's chin up with his fingers, and pressed another kiss on his lips, Jimin going cross-eyed at the proximity. Jeongguk couldn't help but smile into the kiss.
"The s-scarf looks good on you," Jimin said as soon as Jeongguk pulled away. "I should knit you some more." Jimin pinched the soft material of the scarf in between his thumb and index finger, obviously wanting to talk about everything but the fact that he basically jumped Jeongguk the first day they were in the privacy of their cabin.
"Yeah?" Jeongguk laughed, pinching Jimin's cheek, his eyes full of wonder. Jimin hummed in lieu of an answer. His lips were pressed together firmly to suppress a laugh, unintentionally puffing his cheeks out. Jeongguk felt like he was going to lose his mind.
"If you knit me more scarves, I'll kiss you more," Jeongguk said.
"Deal," Jimin agreed quickly. "Wait! How does that benefit me ?" He huffed playfully, crossing his arms over his chest.
"Well, you get to kiss this breathtaking, handsome, one-of-a-kind, dazzling alpha," Jeongguk said, putting stress on each word, and tilting his chin up in pride.
Jimin burst into fits of laughter, he didn't think that made any sense at all but he agreed anyway. "Okay, breathtaking, handsome, one-of-a-kind, dazzling alpha. I'll knit you more scarves. I will try my best."
Jeongguk petted Jimin's head, and played with his hair just how Jimin liked it. When he was close to drifting to sleep, Jeongguk pulled his favorite blanket under his chin. Jeongguk cooed at how red his nose, and cheeks were and left another kiss on his cheeks. Jimin hummed contentedly, burying his face on Jeongguk's neck, and snuggling up closer to him.
Jimin worried over nothing at all.
Eventually, the news of Jimin and Jeongguk getting back together, and living in the same cabin reached everyone, spreading like wildfire within the pack.
While some were genuinely happy for them—Jimin had always been adored by most, if not all the pack members, always doted on, until the mating announcement—it was inevitable that some would talk although they didn't dare do it in front of them. Jimin just knew they had something to say by the way their scrutinizing gazes often followed Jimin.
Jimin couldn’t care less. The important people in his life were happy for him, and they were all that mattered to him.
Besides, he was really happy.
The pack had started their yearly tradition of knitting clothes that they would give away to other packs. Jimin didn't forget to knit Jeongguk more scarves just like he promised; he did so with enthusiasm. Jimin decided to knit him one with an earthy color as he thought it would look nice on Jeongguk. The knitting came to him like breathing which was funny because he was barely able to before. Jimin even earned praise from his pack mates for his knitting. He knitted faster than everyone else.
When he gave the scarf, Jimin thought his heart would burst from the way Jeongguk smiled at him so beautifully. He said that he loved the scarf so much that he even lifted Jimin up to spin him around giddily.
Jimin was about to leave for his pack duties when Jeongguk grabbed his wrist.
"I have something to give you," Jeongguk said. "A gift."
*A gift? Why? What's the occasion?"
"There's no occasion. I just want to give you something. I-I want you to know how special you are to me, and this is one of my ways to show you that."
Jeongguk handed him a folded beige colored fabric. Jimin scanned it for a moment before unfolding it in front of him.
He gasped, "A coat?"
"I knitted it myself," Jeongguk said, rubbing the back of his neck.
"You did? Since when did you learn to knit?"
Alphas in their pack never knew how to knit. It was the omega's duty to learn and make one, a fair distribution in the duties.
Jeongguk nodded his head enthusiastically. "Last month, I asked my mother to teach me."
" Last month ? How are you so good already? I love it!" Jimin squeaked , he couldn't close his mouth, his legs bouncing from excitement. He brought the coat next to his face, and rubbed the fabric against his face. "Oh, my! It's so soft. I love it!"
"You do? You love it that much?"
Jimin bounced his head excitedly, and wore the coat immediately, jumping a bit after successfully putting it on. It was a little big for him, reaching just below his knees, and both of his hands were barely peeking out of the sleeve but he loved it so much he thought it was perfect.
"I do. Thank you!" Jimin said, dancing in front of Jeongguk silly, wiggling his butt. Jeongguk threw his head back in laughter.
They left for their pack duties wearing each other's gifts.
The nights started getting colder, the days getting shorter. The leaves turned into brilliant bursts of reds, oranges, and gold until the trees turned bare. The ground, and the roofs were filled with snow.
Time passed by quickly.
The next full moon arrived.
Jeongguk became pack alpha.
Everything has been so peaceful lately. The whispers eventually died down, everyone became friendly towards Jimin. Whether it was genuine or out of respect, Jimin didn't care. His relationship with their pack members went back to the way it used to be. He could easily have conversations with them, and joke around as usual which made Jimin, inherently a social butterfly, the happiest. He loved being at peace with everyone.
Right now, Jimin and Hoseok were seated on a wooden bench watching over the pups as they either threw snowballs at one another or lying on the snowed floor making snow angels.
These days, all Jimin did with Hoseok when they were free of duties was knit, and watch over as the pups played in the snow. They usually didn't pick fruits during winter, that was a duty for the alphas.
Jimin was worried for a second when he saw one pup stumble when hit with a snowball right at his face, but laughed in relief when the pup got up laughing holding two huge snowballs in his hands, ready to avenge himself.
"How are pups so adorable?" Hoseok said, wiping at the side of his face. He probably saw what happened too.
"So, when are you gonna have your own?" Jimin jested.
"W-What?" Hoseok sputtered.
"Why is your face so red? It's not like you're a virgin!" Jimin laughed.
"You're one to talk!" Hoseok huffed. "As if I don't know how loud—"
Jimin slapped a hand over his mouth in horror, but he couldn't contain his laughter as well. Jimin had a habit of laughing with his whole body when things got too funny, and he almost flipped over the bench if it weren't for Hoseok's quick reflexes.
"When are you going to have your pups?" Hoseok reversed .
"We just mated, for fuck's sake," Jimin bit back playfully but his ruddy cheeks were a dead giveaway of how embarrassed he was. He hoped Hoseok would excuse it for him being cold.
"Even more so! You have to have a pup soon. If not, who's gonna play with mine?"
"I should be the one saying that, you scummy old hermit!"
Hoseok gasped. "I'm only a year older than you!"
"No, you're not. You’re nine decades older than me!"
A year had passed since Jeongguk became pack alpha.
The responsibilities that came with the position consumed most of his day. They barely saw each other during the day except for the mornings when they woke up next to one another, and had breakfast before heading to their duties, and at night before sleeping when they talked about things. From Jeongguk's plans for the pack's future to what Jimin wanted to eat for dinner because Jeongguk didn't have much to do, he could come home early to cook for his mate.
Despite this, he never complained. Jimin understood the weight of the responsibility Jeongguk bore. In fact, he was proud of his mate for being so strong, and leading the pack so well. Despite the fear that the pack wouldn't respect Jeongguk as pack alpha because of not sticking to their traditions, the pack embraced him fully. Jeongguk led by example. The alphas followed his lead not because they feared him, but because they respect him and look up to him. Jimin couldn't contain the pride, and happiness swelling in his chest when he was reminded that Jeongguk was his alpha, his mate. He still couldn't believe such an admirable alpha was his .
Jimin thought that they would drift apart because of how little time they had for each other but that never happened because Jeongguk understood him—he knew him.
He understood that Jimin needed a lot of reassurance, and Jeongguk gave him that unfailingly. He understood that his past mistakes left scars on Jimin, and he made up for them unfailingly.
Jimin told Jeongguk that his desire to get courted was just said in the heat of the moment. He told him that he was just upset, and that he was happy with how things were but his mate insisted. Jeongguk courted him in his own way. Like running him baths, bringing home oils that Jimin loved, knitting him clothes—he had knitted him a coat, a cape, and a scarf so far and he planned to knit more. Jeongguk would also bring home flowers that bloomed around the pack territory on his way home to give it to Jimin, coupled with a sweet kiss on the lips. It may not mean much to others, but to Jimin, it meant the world.
It meant the world to Jimin to be loved by the alpha he had loved his whole life.
It felt good to be loved.
Jeongguk said he'd come home early today. Jimin was lying on his side on their bed waiting for his mate to come home.
Lie down.
That was all he did these days. Jimin's feet felt too sore, and his back ached too often for him to be able to stand on his feet, let alone do anything that required a lot of force. Besides, he felt too heavy, and it was really uncomfortable to move around.
Jimin was trying so hard to fight off the drowsiness, trying his best to keep his eyes open. He wanted to wait for Jeongguk. He had missed him, to be with him.
He had fallen asleep, and he wondered for how long. Jimin's eyes were barely open but he was already smiling.
Dried leaves, damp moss, and tree trunks .
Jeongguk was home, and he was kneeling in front of him with a puppy-like grin at the side of the bed beside him. Jeongguk handed him a purple daisy that Jimin accepted with a grin.
Jimin tried to sit up—he wanted to hug Jeongguk—but as expected, he was unable to. He hissed when his back ached.
"Careful," Jeongguk said softly. Jimin made grabby hands at him. "Do you always have to be so cute?" He laughed.
Instead of helping Jimin up like he expected, Jeongguk joined him on the bed.
"I missed you," Jeongguk pulled Jimin close carefully, Jimin's back flush to the alpha's chest. Jeongguk nosed down the column of his neck, scenting him. "How do you smell sweeter each day?"
Jimin giggled, " Stop ."
"I've been waiting to be with you all day. You were all I could think about while doing my duties. Glad I'm home," Jeongguk whispered, brushing his lips against the mating mark he left on Jimin's neck, and then all of a sudden, he licked it, making Jimin gasp.
"I'm too sleepy, and too sore for this."
Jimin was yet to recover from last night.
It took a lot of self-control, but Jeongguk was able to pull himself away from his mate. "I'm sorry," he said, nuzzling his neck instead.
"It's okay, silly."
"Does my love want anything?" Jeongguk asked, gently placing his hand above Jimin's swollen stomach.
"Nope."
"Do you want me to massage your feet? Do they hurt?" Jeongguk cooed, caressing his mate's stomach, as usual, every time he was with him. He wanted to feel them kick but most of the time, they were too shy and wouldn't.
"No, they're okay. Much better than other days."
Jeongguk smiled against his neck. "Are you sure you don't want or need anything?"
Jimin wondered what planet he had saved in his past life to deserve someone like Jeongguk.
"What more could I possibly want? You've given me everything, and the thing I wanted the most in life," Jimin said, putting his hand on top of Jeongguk's hand on his stomach. "Pups."
According to the healers, Jimin was bearing twin pups. A girl, and a boy.
Jimin had no idea how much he cried when he found out that he was carrying a life inside him, especially when he found out they were twins . Jeongguk teased him about being a crybaby as if his eyes weren't swollen for a whole day from crying.
"No. You did. You blessed me with our pups," he sniffled. It was impossible for Jeongguk not to get emotional when talking about their pups. "Thank you for staying with me. For always choosing me."
"That's because I love you so much."
"I love you so much, and our pups. Our twins, I love them so much."
Jeongguk leaned over to press a kiss on his stomach, talking to the unborn pups.
"They said they love you, too."
Jeongguk buried his head in Jimin's neck to cry. Jimin tried to hold back a laugh but he couldn't. His alpha was such a softhearted crybaby. He just let him cry, cooing at him.
"I have a name for our pups. I thought about it for a while, but you should be honest with me about what you think. It's fine if you don't like them," Jimin said. Jimin had turned around, now facing Jeongguk. Jimin puffed his cheeks out of habit, and it never failed to bring a smile to Jeongguk's face. He was more comfortable like this.
"You know I'd love everything you name our pups," Jeongguk said, pressing a soft kiss on Jimin's cheek.
"But still ," Jimin whined.
"Okay, okay," he laughed.
"Jeongin for the boy and Ji Ae,” Jimin said, and looked at Jeongguk expectantly.
Jeongguk looked at him, and Jeongguk’s eyes might be shining with tears but he looked hishappiest like this. "I love them. Jeongin and Ji Ae. Lovely, just like them."
There were still dark days—days when they felt the light didn’t reach the forest floor, and past the canopy dim—when mottled sunlight peppering the earth was their only guide through the deep wood. Still, even when forests grew too dense, and seemed impossible to navigate, when the riptides seemed strong enough to pull them under, they found purchase in each other.
As long as they were together they would always find their way back home.