Chapter Text
Waking up with Catra wrapped up in her arms was maybe the best thing that had happened to Adora in a long while. But also remembering the pure desperation dripping from Catra’s voice when she had asked Adora to hold her caused a lump to form in the back of Adora’s throat had not gone away with sleep. Catra was distressed, and in turn so was Adora. Now, awake, and with Catra asleep, Adora could tell how much whatever was going on was bothering Catra. Because back in the day, when they had slept tangled together, Adora would wake up first and watch a peaceful Catra nuzzling into her arms as if being there took away every single problem in the world.
But Catra, in her sleep, did not look peaceful now. She looked just as troubled as she did last night. Maybe even more so. Her whole face, nuzzled into Adora’s neck, was furrowed to the point that it looked uncomfortable. Like she was thinking hard about something. Or dreaming hard about something. Adora was worried. She wondered if the guy she had seen at Catra’s trailer days ago had anything to do with it, and her blood boiled in anger. And protectiveness.
It had been years since Catra and her had been close. But Adora was sure, in that moment as Catra seemed to be nuzzling further into Adora to find some sort of comfort, that she would do anything to help Catra. That she would try to provide that comfort. No matter what.
Catra began to stir, seemingly waking up. Despite what Adora thought would happen, when she realized she was nestled in Adora’s arms, she didn’t pull away. She actually cuddled in further, sleepily nosing at Adora’s neck like she missed the scent. She wrapped her arm tighter around Adora’s waist and breathed deeply, the hot air expelled against Adora like a shock to the system. Adora, despite the circumstances, couldn’t help but acknowledge how cute Catra was in the early morning while just waking up. How much she missed it.
“Are you awake?” Adora whispered into Catra’s messy hair.
Catra breathed against her. “Barely.”
“Are you okay?”
“Shut up, Adora. Don’t ruin it,” Catra said, her voice huskier than usual from sleep. Adora could feel Catra’s lips as they moved against her neck and couldn’t help herself but let that get to her. God, the way that used to make her feel. That feeling was coming back like a freight train.
For a few minutes they just lay there. Catra had yet to open her eyes, as if she was chasing the solace of sleep yet again. Adora herself was staring at the ceiling, her eyes wide open, trying to ignore Catra’s body against hers once again and the hot breath hitting her neck. She shouldn’t have been feeling the way she was, not under the circumstances. Adora knew that, but she also couldn’t help herself. Catra didn’t grow up under the greatest of circumstances, and one of the only reprieves she had was falling asleep in Adora’s arms. Adora didn’t know the extent of what Catra had gone through, then or now, but she couldn’t help but like the fact that Catra had found peace in her. That hadn’t changed.
She looked over at Catra, and realized she was staring right back at her now, her two different colored eyes (the eyes that Adora saw frequently in her dreams) focused intensely on Adora’s face. Studying her. For what, Adora didn’t know. But Catra didn’t tear her eyes away. Didn’t even look like shew as thinking about it. Those pupils just stayed stationary, looking right to Adora’s eyes. Catra’s own eyes were looking for something, that’s for sure. But what they were looking for, that was tripping Adora up. But she didn’t want to ruin the moment. Didn’t want Catra to look away. In fact, she loved having Catra’s eyes on her, and only on her.
Then Catra’s stomach rumbled. Adora chuckled.
“Can I make you breakfast?” she offered, tightening her grip winding around Catra’s back.
Catra basically growled in protest. “Don’t leave. It won’t be the same.”
Adora was confused by that. “What do you mean?”
Catra sighed, clearly thinking about how to explain herself. While doing so, she threw a leg over Adora’s lower section, still on her side but basically pinning Adora to the bed. “Things won’t be different until you leave,” she decided on, barely audible. “Everyone knows things stand still when in bed.”
With her free hand, Adora ran her hand through Catra’s hair, ending at scratching behind Catra’s ear. “I’m not going anywhere. Just your kitchen. I’m here for however long you need me.”
Catra just grumbled in response and tightened her embrace. Adora chuckled in response, tucking Catra in impossibly closer. She was hungry too, but she missed having this close of contact with Catra. They used to have sleepovers all the time when they were high school, waking up just like this. Adora had grown used to sleeping alone in her own bed, and even when she was with other people, it had never felt like it had with Catra. It had never felt like that. It had never felt like it did now. Adora wasn’t too keen on moving either, of getting out of the bed. But Catra was obviously upset. Food, at this point, could only help. More so than Adora’s arms.
“Catra, I’ll stay if right here if you really want me to. But you need to eat. Let me cook you breakfast. Then you can ask anything of me, and I’ll do it, no questions asked. Okay?” Adora bargained. “You’ll feel better when you eat.”
Reluctantly, it seemed, Catra extricated herself from Adora’s grasp, pulling her arms in close and bending her knees so that she was practically in the fetal position. In response, Adora climbed from the bed and made her way out of the bedroom to the kitchen, briefly brushing her fingers against Catra’s kneecaps in hopes that the gesture was comforting. As she left the bed, she noticed that Catra, almost sulkily, followed her and plopped herself down at a barstool next to the counter and watched Adora rummage through the fridge. Catra didn’t have a lot of food, but there were some eggs. And she had a half loaf of bread resting on top of the fridge. So, Adora grabbed the eggs out of the fridge and set to scrambling them, prepping a pan to cook them on. She took two pieces of bread out of the package and placed them in the toaster.
“How do you feel about eggs and toast?” Adora asked as she worked, studying Catra’s bloodshot eyes and drooping mouth.
Catra shrugged, before her head collapsed into her hands and she rubbed her eyes vigorously in her sleepiness, “Like everyone does. No strong opinions.”
…
AUGUST 30, SENIOR YEAR
“You want me to stay over?” Catra asked, clearly unsure.
Her response had kind of caught Adora off guard. It’s not like they hadn’t had a sleepover before. They were best friends, after all. Sure, this was different. They had kissed. They were… intimate. They liked each other. Like liked each other. And Adora’s parents were going to be out of town this weekend. Tonight, specifically. So, having Catra over, just the two of them, seemed like a natural thing to suggest.
“Yes? Um… is that okay? I mean… do you want to?” They were at the roller rink with Bow and Glimmer, who were currently occupied in each other by executing a complicated routine on the rink while Adora and Catra sat on the side, resting.
“But like… you want me to?” Catra asked, rolling her roller-skate-clad feet underneath her against the colorful carpet while she sat on the bench and watched Bow and Glimmer them intently.
Adora was confused. Did Catra not want to spend the night with her anymore now that they were… well, kissing. Was she uncomfortable? Did Adora do something wrong? “Yeah?” Adora said, as a question. “I’m not gonna force you of course. But my parents are out of town this weekend, so it’s not like we have to hide anything.”
Catra huffed and looked around almost as if to see if anyone was listening in. After deciding that no one was, she turned fully to Adora. “Look, Adora, I just… I don’t want to be an experiment, okay? If you’re just doing this to rebel or something, then I’m not interested. Because I’m all in. All in. I like you. I like, like you. More than I should. So if this is just a phase to you-“
“It’s not!” Adora interrupted, horrified at the words she was hearing, not even checking her surroundings before placing a knowing hand on Catra’s thigh. “It’s not. I swear. I know…” Adora considered her words here. Adora was kind of caught in the middle of a rock and hard place, her feelings for Catra playing heaving competition to her desire to make everyone who depended on her happy. But God was Catra important to her. Right there, right now, with just Catra sitting next to her and staring at her with those sad heterochromatic eyes that Adora loved so much, Adora couldn’t even remember why she couldn’t declare her love for a girl in the first place. “I know that things are difficult with me, and consequentially for you. I know that I have these obligations… but it’s not a phase, okay? It’s not. I lo… I like you so much, Catra. And I might not be able to yell it from the rooftops right now, but that doesn’t change the way I feel about you. So, if you wanna, you can stay over tonight?”
Catra, an incredulous look on her face, stood up abruptly and grabbed Adora’s hand. With some sort of determination, she led Adora through the food court area and out the side door where the smokers usually go to partake in a cigarette. Adora was befuddled by Catra’s seemingly sudden determination to get her out of ear shot but didn’t question it. There were no smokers outside just then, so it was just the two of them. Adora could feel the shock of Catra’s actions running through her body via her shaking hand but didn’t comment on it.
“What are we doing?” Adora asked, hand still encircled around Catra’s.
Catra, in turn, just shrugged. “It’s a nice night out, I wanted to see that stars.”
Adora couldn’t help but look fondly over at her girlfriend… well, her whatever. And when Catra caught her staring, she gave Adora a little shove in the shoulder.
When they got outside in the warm and muggy air, bugs buzzing around the lights illuminating the concrete plot around their feet, they planted themselves against the brick building, Adora’s arm slung around Catra’s shoulders. They stayed like that silently for a few moments.
Adora was content where she was, the other girl in close proximity and looking at the admittedly bright stars looking down at them. She was so caught up in the moment that it took her by surprise when Catra whipped around and fixed an intense glare at Adora. “Say what you were gonna say.”
“What?” Adora said, confusion overtaking her.
“Say it,” Catra said, a tone of determination ringing heaving in her voice.
“I don’t-“
Catra cut her off, somewhat harshly, “Adora, stop. You know what I’m talking about. So, say it.”
Adora hesitated. She did know what Catra was talking about. She had slipped up earlier, almost. She had thought that she had saved herself pretty decently, but apparently Catra had caught on. Now Catra was demanding that she say it, as if she knew what Adora was going to say. That had to be a good sign, right? Adora thought so. Because if that’s what Catra’s mind automatically went to… But nerves still overtook her, almost overwhelmingly. What if Catra reacted badly. Sure, they had been best friends for a long time. Adora had felt this way for a long time. But it was only very recently that she and Catra had progressed their relationship to the point where Adora’s feelings could be relatively justified. What if she hadn’t waited long enough? What if she hadn’t allowed their relationship to progress enough? She wanted to be secure in what she had with Catra. She didn’t want to ruin what they had.
Catra didn’t seem deterred. “Say it,” she repeated intensely, her teeth gritted.
And without permission from her brain, thought that’s what it was thinking, her mouth said, “I love you.”
And the look on Catra’s face didn’t scare Adora like she thought it would. Instead, it was the best sight she had ever seen. She watched as Catra’s beautiful eyes widened into orbs, and then narrowed a bit, before her face split into a grin and a relieved look crossed her face. Catra looked at Adora before checking her surroundings once again (as if she cared about Adora’s situation, which made her own heart swoon), and without finding anyone, stepped into Adora’s personal space and planted a soft kiss onto her cheek. Against her skin, Catra whispered, “I love you too, dummy. But I already told you that. Took you long enough.”
Adora, also taking note of her surroundings, wrapped her arms around Catra’s waist and pulled her into an embrace. Catra reciprocated immediately. It’s true, Catra had said it first, the night before on Adora’s balcony. Adora had been so caught up in feeling the same way but feeling guilty about the nature of their relationship, she couldn’t quite say it back. Couldn’t find the strength. “You told me last night, calm down.” But she found the strength tonight, that’s what mattered. And she couldn’t hold what she felt for Catra inside anymore. She was ecstatic that Catra felt the same. She sighed. “That’s still the best thing I’ve ever heard,” Adora proclaimed, echoing what she had managed to say to Catra last night after the confession.
Catra just chuckled good-naturedly before pulling Adora into a deep kiss, her tongue working quickly to split Adora’s lips.
They did end up spending the night together. Nothing explicit happened, but Adora wasn’t expecting it to. She had just spent too many sleepovers yearning to hold even just openly hold Catra in her arms. That was enough. Now she knew what it was like to hold Catra throughout the whole night, and she felt like, at that moment, she didn’t need anything more. Now Adora had the opportunity to experience that, with no other obligations to hold them back.
And experience that she did. They both changed into pajamas before climbing into Adora’s queen size bed. Catra was in one of Adora’s oversized shirts and underwear. Adora was in boxers and a cutoff. Despite how they used to sleep, on either side of the spacious bed, Catra immediately turned onto her side with Adora’s hand in hers, pulling it over herself until Adora was spooning her, her hand intertwining with Catra’s and resting on Catra’s toned stomach. Catra scooted back, becoming even closer to Adora.
Adora felt like she was on top of the world, holding Catra in her being the best thing that had ever happened to her. The universe had coalesced into a single entity that was contained within her arms.
As she was dosing off, and Catra was too, based on the decrease in rapidity of her breath, Adora nestled into the back of Catra’s head and whispered, “I love you so fucking much.”
And the last thing she heard before sleep overtook her was Catra muttering sleepily, “I love you more, idiot.”
…
PRESENT
Catra had woken up in Adora’s arms and never wanted to leave. And now she was making her breakfast. If she weren’t so emotionally exhausted, she may have protested this, considering that she and Adora were just recently starting to rehabilitate their relationship, and this seemed like too large of a leap considering where they had been. But she was so hungry. And Adora was there, her presence offering some comfort that Catra hadn’t felt in years.
And fuck, did she miss Adora. She missed waking up to intense blue-grey eyes staring lovingly down at her. She missed feeling safe, if only because of the strong arms wrapped around her. And not just any arms. The arms of the only person walking on Earth that had even remotely understood her. Even if it wasn’t to the fullest extent. And despite not being able to know Catra to the fullest extent, as she hadn’t in high school, Catra missed the fact that it hadn’t stopped Adora from still looking at her with the amount of adoration that it seemed like she didn’t matter what kind of shit Catra currently encompassed in.
Catra knew Adora would care. In fact, she was sure the shit she was involved in would push Adora away for good. But she wasn’t going to worry about that. Catra was burnt out. She deserved this.
But regardless, and because of the rumblings in Catra’s stomach, they got out of bed. She sat at the counter, watching while Adora cooked her a generic breakfast, trying to forget what the fuck she had gotten herself into in the sense of both Prime and Adora. And while her situation with Prime literally made her guts churn, her situation with Adora gave her a sense of reprieve. Even as exes reacquainting themselves with each other, Adora provided something that no one else had ever been able to provide. Unquestioned and accepted succor. Sure, Scorpia had tried her best to be there for Catra, but she didn’t know Catra like Adora did.
When Adora was done cooking, she led Catra to the couch with two plates in hand, handing Catra one and keeping the other for herself. Her plate was filled with scrambled eggs covered in Cholula, and a buttered piece of toast on the side. Adora’s was identical. They sat on the couch silently, eating for a few moments.
Catra knew she had stuff she had to do today. She had not checked her phone, but she noticed there were a couple of notifications on it from some of Prime’s clones. But she was going to relish in her time with Adora while she had it, while things were good. Or at least calm. Before things picked up again.
About halfway through her plate, Adora startled her into attention. “Hey, Catra.”
Mid chew, Catra responded, “Yeah?”
“Should we talk about… well, what was going on last night? Or right now? Um… do you need me to do anything?” Adora asked hesitantly.
Well, those were loaded questions. Catra hesitated, and she could tell that Adora noticed.
At that moment, Catra wanted to come clean. She wanted to tell Adora everything regarding all of the shit she was in right now. She felt as if she was drunk and with no filter, something deep inside her telling her that Adora needed to know. If this was going to go anywhere, if her and Adora were going to go anywhere, then she had to know.
But the logical side of Catra started chipping in. ‘You tell Adora, and it’s over,’ it said. ‘The fact that you even have the gall to think that you and Adora could be anything, whether you tell her or not. Come on, girl. Nothing’s going to happen, and the only outcome of you telling her is pushing her away.’
And then she had to remind herself that she didn’t want her and Adora to be anything because Adora had burned her. Adora, though perhaps having some interest in Catra, had never fully reciprocated the feelings Catra had towards her. She had hidden Catra. Though Adora had her reasons, and everyone should go about coming out in their own way, Catra couldn’t get over the fact that Adora wasn’t willing to come out for her. Adora had come out when Catra wasn’t even part of her life. So where did that leave her?
Catra picked at her eggs instead of answering Adora, but in an effort to relieve Adora’s obvious nerves, she offered a soft smile.
The smile was soon broken apart by a notification popping up on Catra’s phone. It was from one of Prime’s clones, briefly detailing a job she would be engaging in that afternoon. Adora must have watched her face drop.
“Hey, you good?”
Catra rolled her eyes in an effort to present nonchalance. But, inexplicably, Catra had the urge to appease Adora’s obvious anxiety. Adora had always been the anxious one, and while she had found alternatives to everyday ways of life that allowed her to function, Catra even now found herself trying to come up with ways to make it easier on Adora. “Just work. Not a big deal.” That was only partly a lie.
“Okay,” Adora responded, tucking her legs under her on the ratty couch as she scooped some eggs into her mouth. Though she was obviously conscious of the fact that Catra was not okay.
And suddenly, despite all the pressure the Horde was pressing down on her, or maybe because of it, she became quite aware that she was unwilling to waste another second pretending that she ever hated Adora. Sure, she had held grudge, that was one of Catra’s signatures. But Adora was always different, and even though it had been five years, throughout the past weeks Catra had quickly realized that her feelings for Adora had not changed.
But Adora was there. And Catra wasn’t going to lie to herself. Adora didn’t suck. Adora, even now, even as they weren’t as close as they had once been, was a sort of relief to Catra. She was the girl that had known Catra through everything, even though Catra didn’t let anyone know anything. Adora was the only one with whom she was willing to let down her walls. Fuck reconnecting. Fuck rebuilding their friendship. Catra’s life sucked. She knew what she wanted, and she was working towards it. But, of course, Shadow had to make it as tough as possible to get there.
But Adora didn’t suck. Shadow couldn’t touch Adora anymore. And her she was, holding Catra in her arms into the morning despite not knowing why she was doing it, cooking her breakfast in the morning, not forcing Catra into talking about things she wanted to talk about.
Adora was so… just… good.
And Catra couldn’t resist. Not anymore. Not with everything baring down. Adora was finally here. She was finally back. And she was treating Catra as if she was the most important person on the planet. Catra set her half-empty plate down onto the coffee table before scuffling closer into Adora’s personal space, taking the empty plate from Adora’s hands, and placing it on top of her own.
Then, as Adora (somewhat stunned by Catra’s proximity) leaned back into the armrest at the very end of the couch and extended her legs across the length of the couch, Catra moved closer until she was straddling Adora’s thighs. Things were happening very quickly, Catra was aware, but it’s not like they were strangers. It’s not like this hadn’t happened before. And, as Catra hoped, it’s not like they both weren’t thinking about this happening again.
Catra didn’t want to push things to hard, so before even thinking about placing her hands on Adora’s body, she met Adora’s gaze (which had recently been not so subtly been fixated on Catra’s tits). “Can I kiss you?”
Adora visibly swallowed, clearly unable to answer with any words. But the eagerness of her nods gave Catra all the answer she needed, a chuckle attached, as she leaned in close to Adora’s face, their lips only centimeters apart. For a few minutes, Catra just inhaled Adora’s scent. And it was clear Adora was doing the same. “Sure... I m- I mean, yes, please.”
Before she could close the distance, Catra ducked her head as she decided that she would much rather start by nuzzling into Adora’s neck, missing the sensation of someone so close that knew her so well. Incrementally, while simultaneously rubbing her cheek into the junction between Adora’s shoulder and her neck, Catra turned her head. And Adora did the same. Soon, though Catra was basically on her stomach draped over Adora, who was on her back but propped up against the couch’s armrest, they were face-to-face. Adora was looking at her with so much adoration, Catra’s heart clenched.
All Catra had ever wanted was to make a name for herself. She wanted to be independent. She was independent. Hell, despite her obligations due to Shadow’s mistake, she was someone. Her paintings were becoming something. Her songwriting was good. And none of that flew out the window, in terms of her lifetime goals. But the way Adora was looking at Catra made her think about any kind of future. There was only one thing that could make her feel better, and it was laying right beneath her.
And so, with only a little bit of thought, Catra closed the distance, and the feeling she felt as her lips met Adora’s effectively cancelled anything else that ever mattered. Catra had goals. She had plans. But all of that seemed a little surface level without someone to make her feel like Adora was at the moment when her lips were on Catra’s own.
The kiss was chaste. It was slow, and it was solid. Adora’s hands had made their way to grasp tightly on Catra’s waist. Catra’s own hands worked gently, one massaging into Adora’s shoulder and the other gently clasped around the nape of Adora’s neck, holding her as close to Catra as possible.
God, she made it so fucking easy. Adora pulled Catra in by the waist until their bodies were flush together before proceeding to wrap her arms around Catra in a tight embrace, sighing into the kiss. And suddenly the easiness Catra felt, the safety that surrounded her while she was wrapped up in Adora’s arms, building from when they woke up together that morning, was particularly overwhelming. It threatened to overtake the logical part of Catra’s brain, which was still processing what Adora actually was to her anymore on top of the fact that the answer to that question didn’t particularly matter. Catra didn’t have a chance to sus out her feelings, because Adora was in danger no matter what. Prime had his grip firmly clutched around Catra.
Catra realized long before the kiss that she couldn’t let Prime get his hands on Adora, and that meant no figuring out what her feelings for Adora were. She understood that the relationship with Adora that she had now could not move beyond that, or the danger only increased. And yet here she was, kissing her ex, the girl she still really cared about, despite knowing the risks. Despite the fact that Catra was a monster in her own head and didn’t deserve the safety and comfort that Adora provided. It was all too much.
It was actually Adora who pulled away first, asking in a whisper, “Are you okay?” Catra slowly blinked open her eyes and realized why Adora had stopped. She had tears streaked down her cheeks, but they weren’t her own. They were from Catra, who could now fully feel the tears wetting her cheeks. Catra took in a stuttering gasp, intent on not letting the sob out of her throat and studied Adora. She was still just centimeters from Catra’s face, but as she raked her eyes over Adora’s face, she noticed that Adora looked surprised, and a little bit blissed out. But there was a tinge of worry behind those striking blue eyes.
Catra couldn’t answer her, not at that moment, due to the lump in her throat. So, instead of speaking she lowered her head until it was buried in Adora’s shoulder and let the tears go, soaking into Adora’s shirt.
Kissing Adora had been a mistake, but it had been so good while it lasted. The memories of intimacy Adora and Catra used to share came rushing back and hit her like a Mack truck, reminding her of all the things she could no longer have with Adora.
She felt the comfort and safety Adora had provided her back then, and right now, being ripped out of her grasp once again, and it felt a million times worse.
…
Catra’s tears seemed to slow down, but the girl was still clutching onto Adora’s shoulders to the point where her fingers were almost causing pain. But Adora didn’t dare move. She just held on tighter as Catra tried to her collect herself. Adora didn’t know what the hell was going on, but she definitely knew that pushing Catra in this moment wouldn’t be beneficial.
Finally, Catra sniffed and mumbled into the fabric of Adora’s tee, “I can’t do this.”
Adora tried her best not to acknowledge it, but she felt her heart shatter just a little bit at those words. When Catra had kissed her, the immediate feeling that Adora felt was relief. They were back where they should have been all along. In each other’s arms. When Catra kissed her, it felt like they had never stopped over the last five years.
But then Catra pulled away, and Adora felt panic rising in her throat. She tried to tamp it down, tried to convince herself that it was probably just overwhelming for Catra, considering how things ended in high school. But then Catra spoke those words, and reality became horrifyingly clear.
Catra didn’t want her anymore.
“Um…” Adora tried to formulate a thought. She wanted to come to terms with the fact that Catra didn’t have an interest in her, despite kissing her. Adora thought that Catra probably kissed her to confirm that she had no lingering feelings. But it was hard to form thoughts passed that because Catra was still draped across Adora’s body, head still firmly trapped in the crook of Adora’s neck. “Okay. Shit. I uh… I think Razz needed me to run to the supermarket today, anyway, so I’ll just…”
“Stay,” Catra mumbled.
The confusion clouding Adora’s mind multiplied. She closed her eyes, trying to hold her own tears back. Her breathing grew ragged as the panic threatened to overtake her whole body. “I don’t-“
“Adora,” Catra said, no longer muffled by a shirt. Adora opened her eyes, and Catra right there, staring back at her. Catra took her right hand and placed it on Adora’s sternum, adding a little pressure. “Breath,” she whispered, voice still shaky from crying. For a handful of seconds, they stared at each other and breathed together. When Catra had apparently deemed Adora sufficiently calmed down, she smiled sadly down at Adora. “I want to, but I can’t.”
The words brought little relief to Adora. In the end, they meant the same thing. Catra wouldn’t be with her. “Why not?” she asked, regardless.
Catra lowered her forehead until it was resting on Adora’s. “I have my own stuff I need to figure out first. I just… I need a friend right now.”
“Okay.”
Catra was a bit dumbfounded as she was draped over Adora. “Okay?”
Adora just repeated, “Okay.”
Adora lay there, trying to untense her body as Catra continued to sniffle into her shoulder. The weight of Catra’s body on her usually provided a level of comfort Adora couldn’t find anywhere else, and she had been looking for five years. Now that she had it back, it really hit home that Adora would never find anything to replace it.
But she didn’t have it back, not really. Because, for whatever reason, Catra couldn’t do this… whatever this was. Catra’s weight baring down on her torso would only last for so long, and Adora could gather from Catra’s words that this probably wasn’t going to happen again anytime soon. Friends don’t just lay on top of each other for no reason.
That’s what Catra said she needed. A friend. Adora could definitely be that for her, she had for the majority of her life. Long before anything grew complicated between them. For a split second, Adora contemplated whether she should address the fact that Catra had most certainly been the one to kiss her in the first place, which wasn’t the most friendly thing in the world to do. But she thought better of it. No use riling Catra up now. Not when she had something she wanted so bad for only so long.
So Adora bit her lip and resolved to give Catra what she needed, because that was the most important thing. She would be a friend, a good friend. She wrapped her arms tightly around Catra’s midsection and allowed her access to her neck to nuzzle into. And she would give this to Catra for however long she would take it. Adora knew this kind of intimate contact was fleeting, she wasn’t about to rush her friend out of her arms.
“Am I crushing you?” Catra asked softly into Adora’s ear. Adora shook her head so that her cheek was hitting the tip of Catra’s nose every time her head moved that way. Catra chuckled. Somewhat sadly, Adora noted. It died down soon after it started, and the room was once again filled with silence before Catra whispered, “I’m sorry, ‘Dor.”
Adora just nodded and hummed in acknowledgment. She was formulating something to say. She thought she had been a broken record in letting Catra know that she was around if she ever wanted to talk. Catra had never taken her up on it, not really. She did when what she wanted to talk about didn’t seem very important. And yet it was very clear that there was a lot about Catra that Adora didn’t know. Namely, like what stuff Catra had to figure out.
But that was none of Adora’s business.
She also couldn’t just stay silent. It was obvious that Catra was hurting, practically shaking the couch as she trembled in Adora’s arms.
So, Adora butted at Catra’s head with her own and smiled down at her. “Hey, I’m not going anywhere. And, by the way, I’ve been told I’m a pretty good friend.”
Catra chuckled again, and the sound did wonders to soothe Adora’s nerves. She kept her head near Catra’s, who in turn nuzzled into the affection. “That so, dummy? What brain damaged fool told you that?” When Adora’s face, almost imperceptibly fell before she scoffed, Catra backtracked, because she didn’t mean anything by it. “You wanna know what a good friend would do?”
“What’s that?”
“Fire up that stupid truck and give me a ride somewhere I’m too lazy to get to on my bike.”
“I can do that!”
…
Catra didn’t really know why she had asked Adora for a ride, especially when she was getting a ride a place where she would fulfill her obligations as one of Prime’s little goons. So much for not entangling her up more. But Catra, despite how the encounter went, had never felt more comfortable than she had felt all wrapped up and draped over Adora. There was no need to bother Scorpia to give her a ride when there was a perfectly capable, beautiful idiot underneath her who would be more than willing to complete the favor.
They were comfortably silent as Adora drove her to the drop off point, a little park on the West side of Etheria. Catra didn’t know what dirty job she’d have to do just to pocket a little blood money to deliver back to Prime, but she tried not to think about it. Instead, she focused on the hand that was intertwined with hers. Namely, Adora’s hand. Catra wasn’t sure how it happened, but only a little bit into the drive Catra looked down and noticed their hands entangled. Adora didn’t pull hers away, so neither did Catra.
Yes, soon Catra was going to be doing something probably really horrible in the name of Horde Prime and on behalf of Shadow Weaver. Yes, Adora was in the dark about all of it. Yes, Catra had initiated a kiss that seemed like it could save the world and then promptly put a stop to anything that might stem from that. But Catra looked over to Adora and saw her focusing on the road, her blonde hair down for once in her life and falling over her shoulders, a sweet little smile pulling up the corners of her lips, throwing glances Catra’s way every now and then.
And all the bad things didn’t seem to matter so much in that moment, as their hands tightened around each other.
Adora was safe. Adora would be safe. She wasn’t going anywhere.