Chapter Text
The faint mumble of voices could be heard from outside of the front door, where you stood alone in the dark, cold night. You shivered as you pulled your jacket close around your cold body in hopes of warming it up a bit, ringing the doorbell and then wrapping your arms around your trembling body. It was the night of Armin’s Christmas party, and you were beyond excited to see him and his family. You had seen Mikasa a few days after you got back into town but you didn’t have the pleasure of seeing your other old friend.
You heard a shift from behind the door, and it didn’t take long for someone to unlock it for you. The smell of food hit your face, along with the warmth of the familiar home, and it was then that you couldn’t wait to be inside. The door opened fully to reveal the one and only Eren, a large grin on his face as soon as he saw that it was you standing behind the door.
“Hey,” he said, looking down at you. He had his long hair pulled back tonight in a loose bun, the way that you told him that you always liked. You enjoyed being able to look directly at his face without his hair getting in the way. Part of you wondered if he did it like that because he knew you’d be there. But that would be ridiculous, right?
The thing was, you did the same. You were dressed in one of Eren’s favorite dresses, one that the both of you picked out together a few months back before your fall semester began. He told you that it looked like the dress was made for you, and that’s when you knew you had to buy it. Maybe it was a bit silly to dress up for him, especially because you wanted to try to pursue a friendship but you couldn’t bring yourself to wear something else. To your surprise, you saw Eren’s eyes run across your body, taking in your outfit before letting his eyes rest on your face once again.
“Hey,” you replied nervously, your breath fanning out from the cold air. You hated how nervous you still were around him, and you knew it was from the fact that you still had feelings for the man. You just prayed that your timidness would fade away with time.
“Come in, get out of the cold,” Eren said, noticing that your body was trembling from the chilly December air. You nodded at him, walking into the warm house as he moved away to let you come through. The chatter of voices was much louder now, and you looked around, not noticing a good bit of the people there. They were older, so they must’ve been Armin’s grandpa's friends. The only person that you recognized was Mikasa, who was tucked away in the corner of the living room on her phone, her long dark hair covering the majority of her face.
Eren shut the door behind you and motioned for you to follow him, placing his hand on the small of your back to help lead you through the crowd. The feeling made you shiver even though you weren’t cold anymore. Eren noticed the reaction and pulled his hand back, awkwardly stuffing it into his pants pocket. Part of you wanted to tell him that it was okay but you didn’t want to make things even weirder.
“What’s up?” you asked as you made your way to Mikasa, glancing down at her phone where she was scrolling through Twitter. When she noticed the two of you, she locked her phone, slipping it into the pocket of her hoodie and turned to look at both of you. You had filled her in on everything when you saw her a few days ago, where she saw easily through both of your intentions. She told you that you two would probably be together again by the end of the week, to which you rolled your eyes and told her that definitely wasn’t going to happen.
She looked at the two of you together, and at Eren’s closeness to you, her eyes narrowing before settling on your gaze. She sent you a sly wink, one she was careful of not letting Eren see before she told you that the party was hella boring.
“It’s always boring though. Just a bunch of old people,” Mikasa said, yawning before moving over to give you space to join her. You rolled your eyes and slipped next to her, resting your head on her shoulder as she continued to talk.
“I told Armin he should start inviting more of his friends but I think he’s just an old man at heart or something,” she said, to which Eren laughed and shook his head. They both began to talk about Armin while you silently listened to their conversation, watching it unfold between the two of them. It felt good to be back with them, and it almost felt like the way it used to be. Almost.
Speaking of Armin, you began to wonder where he was. Almost as if Eren read your mind, he pulled out of the conversation and informed the two of you that he was going to go try to look for him and let you know that you were there. You nodded in response, thanking him before he moved away and slipped out of the living room. Your eyes followed his tall frame, accidentally admiring him. As soon as he made his way out of the room you flicked your eyes up at Mikasa, seeing that she was watching you with a smirk on her face.
“Subtle,” she replied with a laugh, her face contorted with a look of humor. You scoffed and pulled yourself off of her shoulder, ready to defend yourself, but Armin’s grandpa interrupted the two of you.
“Is that who I think it is?” He asked with a chuckle as he walked up to the two of you, instantly holding his arms out for a hug, one that you gave to him. He was a great guy, you had always had massive respect for him taking in Eren when nobody would. He hugged you tight, asking you how your last semester was. The three of you held a conversation for a few minutes, updating each other on important events that had taken place in the past few months. You were careful to leave out all of the drama that had happened between you and Eren, mostly because it was all pretty irrelevant at this point.
“Well I’ll stop boring the two of you, I’m sure you don’t want to listen to an old man all night,” he said, laughter in his voice. He pulled you and Mikasa in for one last hug before moving away to join some of his friends in the kitchen.
“Should I try to go find Armin? Eren has been gone for a while now,” you asked Mikasa, wondering where the two of them might be.
“Are you sure that’s the only reason why you want to go look for him? Or is it because you want to be around Eren?” Mikasa asked in return, the question making your face red. You knew you shouldn’t have said anything to her, she always teased you like an older sister or something. You knew she was messing with you but you couldn’t help but feel embarrassed, mostly because she was completely right. You did want to be around Eren, and you didn’t know if it was because you had truly missed him or because you wanted to relive the feeling of having a crush on him. Whatever it was, Mikasa was right either way.
“I’ll be back,” you mumbled, too embarrassed to respond to her question. Instead she shot you a smirk as you walked away from her, beginning your search for the two boys. You looked within the kitchen, greeting the few familiar faces you saw, but sadly, you didn’t see either Eren or Armin. As you were walking past the back door that led to the outside deck, starting to make your way to the stairs to search upstairs, you heard voices from outside. Stopping at the cracked door, you began to eavesdrop, seeing if the voices were familiar. The cold seeped in from the outside as you listened, recognizing Armin’s voice. Just as you were about to go outside and join him, the conversation made you stop.
“Then you should tell her that. Stop beating around the bush, you know?” Armin replied to Eren, to which he sighed. You strained to block out the noise from the party as you leaned closer to the door, attempting to hear what the conversation was about.
“Yeah, I should, but I don’t want it to end up like it did last time. I don’t want to hurt her, or hurt myself. Anyways, how would I even tell her that I’m still in love with her? What if she doesn’t feel the same way?” Eren asked, his words making your stomach twist. He’s still in love with you? Your heart began to pound as you continued to listen to what was being said, wanting to hear as much as you possibly could.
“I don’t think that’s the case at all, Eren. You guys are just horrible at communication. You just have to be honest with each other,” he replied back, to which Eren hummed in agreement. Before you had the chance to continue to listen, you heard someone from behind you, asking if you knew where the bathroom was. You quickly pulled away from the door, embarrassed that you had been caught, before quietly giving directions to where the nearest restroom was. As soon as the older woman walked off, you decided that it was time to join the two boys on the porch.
You braced yourself for the cold air as you opened the door, both of the boys turning towards you, a look of surprise on their faces at the sight of you. Eren’s face was a bright red, and you weren’t sure if it was from the cold weather or from embarrassment because of the previous conversation he was having with Armin.
“Oh hey Y/n, it’s good to see you,” Armin said with a smile, extending his arms for a hug, almost exactly like his grandpa. You smiled at the thought as you walked up and gave him a tight hug, feeling Eren’s eyes on the two of you. You couldn’t help but wonder if he wished that you were in his arms instead.
As you pulled away, you could feel the awkwardness of the situation, and you knew that they both hoped that you didn’t overhear their conversation.
“What are you guys doing out here in the cold?” You asked, trying to play off the fact that you heard what they were talking about. You looked over to Eren, his eyes shifting quickly from nervousness. Armin was a good friend though, and let you know that they were catching up over his trip to Europe.
“We need to get lunch one day, all of us and catch up in detail. When it’s not so chaotic,” Armin said, nodding his head towards the party. You nodded in response, and asked if the two of them wanted to join you and Mikasa inside. The rest of the night went like that, the four of you joking and hanging out like you used to, the only difference being the awkwardness between you and Eren. The uncomfortable feeling the two of you would get if you accidentally touched hands or made eye contact.
The night went by pretty quickly, and it wasn’t long before you had to get back home in order to help out your parents with preparing Christmas dinner.
“I really have to get going,” you said to your friends, to which Mikasa groaned in annoyance.
“Why can’t you spend the night here like I’m doing?” She whined, and you told her that there was absolutely no way that your parents would let you get away with not helping them with dinner. You knew she was mostly joking with her complaining, and while you wished you could’ve spent the night with them, you would’ve been too anxious to be around Eren that long.
“I can walk you home, it’s getting pretty dark. Wouldn’t want anything happening to you,” Eren suggested, to which you reassured him that it was fine seeing as how your parents place was only a few blocks away.
“No, I feel like that’s a great idea,” Mikasa replied, to which Armin agreed. Your eyes flicked up to hers, noticing the mischief that was hidden behind them. You knew that the two of them were just trying to get the two of you alone in hopes of getting both of you to admit your feelings for each other.
“Okay. I guess that’s alright,” you replied to Eren, deciding to just go along with it. Eren smiled down at you, and let you wrap up your conversation with your friends before following you out of the cozy house. The cold air hit you hard, seeing as how the night had gotten longer, the freezing weather becoming a bit more intense.
Eren followed you outside, shutting the front door behind him as he walked down the steps behind you, the wood creaking beneath your weight combined. The walk home was silent, but not in an uncomfortable way. You did feel on edge though, because you knew that you should just say something. Admit that you still have feelings for him.
Instead, you walked side by side, occasionally bumping into each other. It was comforting to be with him, like you used to be. You could only wonder what would happen when you would go back for your last semester of college. Would you guys be comfortable with each other again? Only time could tell.
Snow began to fall the closer you got to your house, the flakes gentle as they dropped down on your jacket. You felt bad making Eren walk back home in the snow, but he didn’t seem to mind at all, instead shooting you a boyish grin as a snowflake landed on his head. It didn’t take long to finally reach home, the house's warmth comforting as you gazed at the lit up building.
“I guess this is it then,” Eren began, shoving his hands into his pockets as he stood there at the end of your driveway, waiting for you to go in.
“I guess so,” you said back, your eyes shifting from his hands to his face. He looked down at you, his face dark from the night as he kept his eyes locked on yours.
“Well, I’ll see you around then?” Eren asked, his voice full of hope. Of course he would see you around. You couldn’t even handle being away from him at this point. You were tired of running away from your feelings, and maybe your next actions were reckless, but you couldn’t help it. You knew that he wanted you, and you wanted him just as bad. You still loved him.
His eyes widened as you moved closer to him, slipping your hands out of your jacket pocket before leaning up and pressing a warm kiss to his lips, wrapping your arms around his body as you pulled him into you. Eren moaned into your mouth, pulling his hands out of his coat in order to wrap them around your hips, and deepened the kiss, the action passionate yet fragile, as if he was scared of scaring you away.
You both stayed like that, gently kissing each other for a while before Eren broke the kiss, looking down at you, his dark eyes cloudy.
“I love you,” you whispered, the words making him shut his eyes, his breathing heavy and desperate. He pulled you back in for one more passionate kiss, whispering that he loved you in between the kiss before pulling away, and instead pulling you into his arms. The snow fell quietly around the two of you as you embraced each other, and you knew that everything would be okay.