Chapter Text
“Trouty! Frodo! Where are you hiding? New Directions take the stage in 30 minutes, and Mr. Schue needs you to lead final warmups,” Santana was trying to be keep quiet as she searched backstage for her old teammates ahead of their Regionals performance. The graduate had been tottering around on a pair of sky-high heels for at least 10 minutes, and her patience was wearing thin as she opened various doors hoping the pair would magically appear behind one of them.
“Frodo you may possess perfect pitch, but we all know some of your teammates need to get it together if you want to make it to Nationals again this year. Think about Sugar. We can’t let that Lovable Richie Bitch take the stage without a very strenuous vocal warmup. So get your cute little butts in gear. Oh. Oh, my fucking God. What do we have here?!”
Santana franticly threw her hands over her eyes as she opened a door and found the boys in a rather compromising position. The pair were dressed in matching all-black outfits. So at least they’d made it into their costumes for the opening number. However, they were currently wrapped around each other and looked like they’d just forcibly disengaged from a rather passionate kiss.
“It’s not what it looks like,” Blaine whispered as he desperately tried to push Sam’s body further into the closet. It was as though he hoped his boyfriend would eventually find another door leading to Narnia and disappear through it. That may be the only way they could get out of this situation.
“Really, Baggins? Well tell me what I’m looking at, then. Because to me it looks like you and Good Ol’ Guppy Lips behind you were kissing. Or was he using those supersized envelope-lickers of his to take off your stage makeup? No judgement or anything. You’re both obviously hot if you’re into penis. Which we all know I’m not. Even still, I have to admit that this pairing is doing something to my lady loins. Oh my god. This pairing… Let me say it again: What the literal fuck?!”
Santana’s eyes widened as she tried to process the situation. On the list of things she’d expected to happen when she came back to her alma mater to help get the team ready to defend their title, she had not expected to witness the birth of a new relationship. But here she was… And her eyes most certainly did not deceive her.
“Alright. I guess it is exactly what it looks like. But please keep this quiet Santana. I’m trying to protect Sam. If anyone gets what it’s like to be forced out of the closet, it would definitely be you. And if you keep screeching like that other people are going to find us. Exactly like they are right now. Oh shit.”
Blaine’s normally olive complexion paled when Santana opened the door. He’d known they were taking a major risk when they ran off for a moment together before taking the stage. The couple enjoyed almost a full month of blissfully uninterrupted time together. Now it looked like their secret was about to leak in the most dramatic way possible.
He went even whiter as Brittany skipped up behind her girlfriend.
“Have you found them yet? Oh, dear sweet Britney Spears.” Brittany gasped in horror as she took in the scene. “Santana, come away from there! Blaine and Sam aren’t supposed to know that we know they’re together. It’s a secret!”
Sam wrapped his arms around Blaine from behind. He could feel his boyfriend shaking in his arms and knew he needed a little support. But he cocked his head in surprise as Brittany revealed that she already knew about the “secret” relationship.
“Um, Brittany… Did you just say you knew about Blaine and I being together?”
The blond girl started to shake her head in denial. Of course, her attempt was ruined as Tina and Artie came upon the group.
“Whelp, I guess this relationship has officially been yanked out of the closet,” Tina sighed as her eyes locked on Blaine’s. “I figured they’d at least make it to spring break before this happened.”
Brittany tried to shush them, but Santana took her by the hand.
“Britt, just tell me what’s going on. I think you’re going to have to tell these two, too. They clearly have no clue.”
“Yes, please,” Blaine croaked. “I’d really like to know what you’re talking about.”
Brittany smiled softly at him. Before she could explain, Kitty, Marley and Sugar rounded the corner and joined the party.
“Oh look, Sexy Lips and Tiny Tot are putting on a pre-show performance backstage,” Kitty snarked. Sam prepared to step up and defend his man, but Brittany beat him to the punch.
“Kitty Wilde, remember what I told you. We need to use our blonde powers for good not evil. Now will you let me tell the story in peace or am I going to have to ask Marley and Mercedes to pull you back to the choir room?”
The younger Cheerio mimed zipping her lips and encouraged Brittany to continue the story.
“Well, we obviously already knew you were a unicorn, Blaine Warbler. Then you showed us how much you loved Sam when you sang to him during Guilty Pleasures week. After we knew that, it didn’t take long to figure out Sam felt the same way about you. I mean, you two were practically dating, you already spent so much time together. That’s why I broke up with Sam so nicely. I knew you two were meant to be together. Then Lord Tubbington confirmed it for me. Did you know he’s part psychic?
“Brittany you broke up with me via text message,” Sam weakly said. His mind was so scrambled by the situation that it fastened on to the easiest portion of her explanation.
“Yeah, I did. It was that or Santana wanted to break it to you for me,” she said sweetly. “I didn’t think she would do it quite as gently, so I beat her to the punch. As I was saying, we knew you two had feelings for each other. Then we noticed that you got even closer after Blaine asked Kurt to marry him, and he said no. This must be why Lord Tubbington didn’t approve of that union, by the way. He knew something better was in the works. I’m going to have to find him some sort of sleepaway psychic camp for cats. That way he can develop these powers and keep using them for good! It’s so much better than working as an agent for an underground drug ring like he’s doing right now.”
As Brittany finished her story the rest of the group wandered over and rapidly realized what was happening.
“Well, well, well. What do we have here? A horde of runaway singers. Don’t you have a stage to besmirch with another god-awful cover song? Or are you doing original numbers again? If so I’m going to need a stiff drink to get through your set.”
Just when the situation couldn’t get worse, Sue Sylvester arrived. And she was quick to realize what was happening.
“Look what you did, Sandbags. We’ve all been waiting to see when Young Burt Reynolds Kentucky Fried Stripper were going to out themselves. I had my money on them making it to prom before breaking the big gay news on the dance floor. It looks like you pushed them out at least a month ahead of schedule.”
Apparently Coach Sue was also in on the secret. That’s just great.
“Sue! I told you teachers weren’t allowed to join in on the betting pool,” Mr. Schue warned as he turned the corner with Mrs. Pillsberry in hand.
That’s when Blaine finally realized just how badly they’d done at keeping the secret.
“Can we get a show of hands here, guys,” he asked. “Who all already knew something was going on between Sam and I?” His mouth dropped open as everyone including Mr. Schue, Mrs. Pillsberry and a befuddled looking Coach Roz who walked around the corner seconds ago raised their hands. The only person who looked confused was Finn.
“What’s going on? Why are Blaine and Sam hugging in the closet,” he asked worriedly.
“Pay attention, Frankenteen,” Santana snapped. “Obviously they’re in love.” The feisty Latina couldn’t resist the urge to tease her former classmate.
“Did you actually think you were hiding it from us,” Kitty scoffed. “I mean, you literally undress each other mentally every time you look at each other. It’s very obvious and, frankly, more than a little pornographic.”
“That’s enough, team.” Thank the lord above for Mr. Schuester. “As fun as this moment has been, we desperately need to get on stage. Sam and Blaine, I’m going to need you two to pull it together. I know you’re surprised, but the team needs you to be at your best right now. So I’m going to ask you to leave this behind and pick it up once we win the competition.”
With a whoop, the New Directions raced to the stage. Santana stayed behind and watched as Blaine and Sam fell to the back of the group and grabbed hands.
“Sam, you have to know that I am so sorry. I never wanted you to get outed like this,” Blaine said with teary eyes. “I totally understand if you want to break up with me, but can we do that after we finish the show?”
Before Sam could reply, Santana came from behind. “Guys, Mr. Schue is right. I’m also really sorry for the big gay surprise. But you need to have this conversation after the show. Now get out there and show those other schools what it means to be a member of New Directions. Sam you go now. Give me a second with Blaine.”
As a concerned-looking Sam ran ahead, Santana took the smaller boy by the shoulders.
“I’m sorry this happened. And you are right about one thing. I absolutely understand how much it sucks to be outed by someone else. But you weren’t responsible for this happening. And if Auntie Snixx knows anything right now, it’s that Sam clearly loves you. So I need you to not worry about a breakup. Let me handle the fall-out from this. You focus your curly little head on pulling off a win, alright?” With that she patted him on the head, dried off any tears, physically turned him around and sent him on his way.
“Clearly I’ve got to take care of everything every time I come back to this school,” she said to herself.
Santana watched from backstage with more than a little nostalgia as the latest iteration of New Directions performed. She was certain no one could tell that a tragedy had occurred literal moments before the set. Unless these judges were blind, her team was about to cinch another win.
Blaine disappeared into the crowd as soon as the group came off the stage. Sam looked around for him in confusion. However, before he could mount a search, he felt someone else grab him from behind.
“Alright, performance is done. Now you’re coming with me, Lover Boy,” Santana said as she carved a path through the happy students. “Move it or lose it, people. I’ve got precious cargo in my arms right now. ”
With that she pushed him into the choir room and glared at anyone else until they ran out with looks of terror on their faces.
“Snixx has still got it,” she said before turning her attention to Sam. “Now we need to talk. First of all, you need to know how sorry I am that that happened to you. I didn’t expect to walk in on my and my current girlfriend’s ex going to town on a boy today. But even if I did, I’d never want you to get outed because of me. And it is my fault this happened, not yours or Blaine’s. You know that, right?”
Sam laughed, but it didn’t take a genius to see that he was hurting. “I know it wasn’t Blaine’s fault. That’s why I can’t understand that he thinks I want to break up with him. Blaine makes me so happy every day. He takes care of me and is one of the best people I know. I really love him, Tana. Why does he think I want to leave him?”
That’s when Santana knew that things were going to work out.
“OK, Trouty. I’m glad to see that you’re handling this better than I did when it happened to me. But I’m going to take a second to get real with you. Blaine knows what it’s like to be out and proud at a school like this. You’ve always been an incredible ally. Hell, you took a fist to the face standing up for his porcelain-faced boy toy last year. You were great about being in my corner after I started dating Britt, even though I used you as a beard. But things are different when you’re the one who is taking the brunt of the hatred. I bet your pint-sized lover boy is afraid for you.”
“If I have to guess, he’s willing to give up on your relationship if it’ll protect you from the mouth-breathing, simple-minded bullies that prowl these halls. Can you look me in the eyes right now and tell me that you are ready to face that yourself?”
“Yes. One hundred percent, absolutely, yes. A lot of people think I’m a simple-minded guy. I may not have gotten a good score on my SAT. I may have fallen for a girl who cheated on me with her ex, and another who used me as a beard and another who dumped me to get back together with another of my exes. But I know how I feel about Blaine. And I’d take a thousand slushies to the face every day if it meant I got to stay with him. How do I make him understand that?”
“I wish I knew, Trouty. You clearly know that boy better than I do. Possibly even in a biblical sense. I’m going to need to get you drunk next time we’re together so you can tell me all about that, by the way. I never could get Porcelain to spill the beans about Blaine, but I know I can get you to… In the meantime, you’re going to have to decide how to break the news to him. And you’re going to have to figure it out sooner than later because it’s time to go back on stage to pick up your trophy.”
Sam was thinking about what Santana said as the group gathered to wait for results to come through. He needed to figure out a way to prove his feelings. The blonde teen took some time to plan as the announcer spoke in front of him.
“Coming in first place and securing a ticket to Nationals for the third year in a row, we have William McKinley High School’s New Directions! That means Walsh Jesuit High School’s Harmony Gold takes second place. Better luck next year, guys.”
Confetti rained down from the ceiling as Mr. Schue was handed another trophy for the team’s case. That’s when Sam’s eyes locked on Blaine’s and he knew. Walking over, he stood in front of the dark-haired boy as their friends started to celebrate the win.
“You need to know I’m not ashamed of us, Blaine. I love you more than anyone I’ve ever been with before, and my feelings get stronger every day. I’m not embarrassed to admit that I have these feelings for a guy. I want to be able to tell the whole school how I feel. That’s why I’m doing this.”
With that Sam grabbed Blaine by the shoulders and yanked him in for a kiss as celebratory confetti rained down around them. As their friends noticed what was going on, they all turned and wrapped their arms around the couple in a sign of solidarity.
Things may be hard moving forward, but Sam knew they’d be worth it.
Pulling back from the kiss, Blaine smiled up at his boyfriend.
“Love you, Sammy,” he said before pulling him back for another kiss.
Watching from the audience, Santana desperately blinked her eyes as Brittany ran up to her and swept her into a hug.
“Aren’t they the cutest,” Brittany giggled after going in for a quick kiss. “I’m so happy they finally found each other and told us the good news.”
“Damnit, those two may be the second-best couple to come from New Directions,” Santana mused. “We’re going to have to protect them at all costs. In the meantime, let’s capture this kiss on camera. That way Blaine and Sam can share the magic with everyone else who wasn’t lucky enough to make it to the show. And you see that, Frankenteen? That is how you pull off a relationship-saving kiss at a competition without netting the team a loss! I always knew you needed to be more like Sam Evans.”