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Bill Potts bustled around the kitchen of the flat that she shared with her friends, getting out the sugar and milk to put in the tea that was currently bubbling on the stove. The flat was empty, a rare, but not unexpected thing, as it was Christmas Day. Her friends were off spending Christmas with their families, and normally so would Bill, but Moira was celebrating Christmas in Scotland with Neville, and she’d not wanted to intrude. So here she was, Christmas Day, making tea, alone, because what else was there to do?
The kettle started to whistle, and she poured the tea into the teapot to steep. She opened up the middle drawer to take out the tea cosy, but it was not where it was supposed to be. She pulled open the other drawers, sifting through the various kitchen implements in an attempt to find the cosy, but to no avail. She growled in frustration. She had… things that she wanted to get to, important things, and the last thing she wanted was for the tea to get cold while she waited for it to steep. She grumbled under her breath. “Where the bloody hell is that godda-” she started, but was cut off by a voice behind her.
“You’ll not find it in there.” said a low voice.
She shrieked, the mug in her hand crashing to the ground as she whirled around.
“I’m not actually sure what you are looking for, or where it is. Just thought it was dramatic. I’m trying out dramatic now, seems to work with the eyebrows,” said the Doctor, who had the audacity to grin.
Bill smacked his arm. “What the hell are you playing at? You scared the hell out of me! What are you even doing here?”
The Doctor rubbed his arm. “Sorry, it’s like I told you. Dramatic. Maybe it’s my thing. Is it a good thing?”
“Where did you even come from? I didn’t hear the TARDIS.”
“Well you wouldn’t, would you? That wouldn’t be very dramatic. I’d be failing at my own thing. And you didn’t hear the TARDIS because I’ve been here since this morning,” the Doctor said.
“You what ?” Bill stared open mouthed.
“I just parked the TARDIS outside and picked the lock with a hairpin. Why do I have a hairpin, you ask? Well don’t bother asking, because I’m not telling you. Stop asking stupid questions. Once I picked your lock I went inside and hid in your broom closet. It’s quite nice by the way, I like how you’ve decorated. I’ve been here for around, oh,” he checked his watch. “Three hours?”
Bill’s expression was a mixture of shock and fury. “How many times have we talked about you showing up here unannounced, Doctor? I’ve got a mobile, you can call me!”
“Shush. Shush, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush, Bill Potts. A mobile. Call you. Honestly. What were you looking for before?”
Bill scowled. “The tea cosy. I want to make tea on Christmas Day, and have it be warm. But apparently the universe just hates me.”
“No, Bill, the universe doesn’t hate you. Don’t be ridiculous. If a universe had the capacity for hatred, don’t you think I would have more problems to solve? Then I wouldn’t have time to visit you on Christmas. So be grateful. Now, there is a carnivorous universe. Somewhere. Presumably.” He paused. “Forget I said that.”
Bill’s eyes were wide. “What, no. Really? You’re lying.”
“I told you,” he said, abruptly moving away. “Drama. It’s a thing. Now, are you sure it hasn’t just run off?”
“What?”
“The tea cosy. Are you sure it hasn’t just run off?”
“I don’t know about the tea cosies on your planet, but here on earth, they don’t have legs,” Bill said with a sigh. “It’s always in this drawer, right here. But it’s gone. I don’t know why it would have been moved. It’s not like a tea cosy is an essential to pack when going home for Christmas.”
She knelt down, looking in another cabinet. “I just don’t understand where it could have gone. It should have been right there.”
From behind her she heard something drop to the ground.
“Ah… Perfect,” the Doctor said. “I’ve found your tea cosy, Miss Potts.”
“Oh, brilliant! Where’d you find it? I’ve been looking everywhere-”
She cut off as she turned around.
“That’s a sock.”
She looked down and saw the Doctor’s shoeless, sockless foot.
“That’s your sock.”
“Yes, I know. I’m helping. See me, help you. Sometimes, you just need to improvise,” the Doctor said, waving the sock triumphantly.
“There is no way in hell I am putting your sock on my teapot,” Bill said flatly.
“Why not? I’m sure it’ll fit,” the Doctor said, and stepped over the shards of mug on the floor to attempt to wrestle the sock onto the tea kettle.
“No, Doctor, you’re not- wait! You’re going to-”
The sock, which had moments ago been attempted to be forced over a much larger teapot, shot off, causing the Doctor to lose his grip on the teapot, which promptly fell to the ground, and also shattered.
Bill sighed. “Break it.”
The Doctor looked from the sock, to the floor, which was now littered with shards from both her mug and the teapot, and back to the sock, and then clapped his hands together. “Right! Well, it’s Christmas, I’m sure you’ve got places to be. Don’t want to keep you-”
“Doctor,” Bill said, glaring at him. “Help me clean this up. Otherwise my flatmates are going to come back and think there’s been a break in which, come to think of it, there has .”
“Is it breaking in if I basically had a key?” the Doctor asked, accepting the dustpan that Bill shoved in his hand.
“You didn’t have a key , you had a hairpin. Why’d you even have a hairpin?”
“I told you, no stupid questions,” he said, holding the dustpan to the floor as Bill swept the shards of ceramic into it. “What are you doing alone on Christmas anyway? Why aren’t you out celebrating with someone?” the Doctor asked.
Bill shrugged. “Foster mum and her boyfriend are out on a romantic outing. Didn’t want to disturb them.”
“They’re your family. It’d hardly be a disturbance,” he said with a shrug, getting up to throw the last of the shards away. “That’s that then. Guess I’ll be off, unless,” he looked at her. “Well, since you’re not doing anything today I’m sure you’re going to bother me about going on a trip.”
“Would you be upset if I did?” Bill asked.
“Obviously,” responded the Doctor, and they left the flat together.
“Do they celebrate Christmas on other planets?” Bill asked.
“Oh, some do. I once visited a town that was called Christmas.”
“That’s a bit on the nose, don’t you think?” Bill said.
“Some would say on the chin,” said the Doctor.
“What?”
“Nothing.”
And they set off for the TARDIS.