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Bo-Katan’s message had been urgent, and Ahsoka wended her way through the tiny outskirt village to meet her.
She hadn’t given any additional information outside a location, and Ahsoka was mildly worried something was wrong. Unlikely, but it ate at her just the same. She hitched her rucksack higher on her shoulder.
The little inn Bo-Katan had found was right off the main square, and the innkeeper mindlessly handed her a magnastrip key and pointed her up the stairs without much interest. The mudbrick building was old, and the stairs squeaked under her feet as Ahsoka found her way through. Most of the light was from windows dotting the walls, letting in bright sunlight that never really seemed to dim on this planet.
She located the specified room number on one of the dusty old doors and scanned her key. The lock released without much protest and she pushed the door open, relieved to be out of the heat as the blast of artificially chilled air hit her from inside.
Bo-Katan was already there, and she paused in what had obviously been a long period of pacing the room while she waited.
Impatiently, it seemed, if her expression was any indication. Her face was paler than usual, drawn with stress and angry agitation. Ahsoka frowned at her, concerned, and came all the way into the room.
“You okay?”
The door was barely closed behind her when Bo-Katan was suddenly there before her, hands on her shoulders and pushing Ahsoka back against the wood paneling. Her green eyes were bright, determined, and she ran her hands up Ahsoka’s neck under her lekku to cup her face. She was very close, body pressing into Ahsoka’s in a way she had never really let herself before, and all Ahsoka could do was watch her in surprise as her rucksack fell to the floor with a thud.
“Um, good to see you too?”
But then Bo-Katan was leaning in, kissing her fiercely.
Ahsoka was taken off guard, bewildered at the intensely affectionate welcome, though she didn’t pull away and instead let herself be touched without complaint - even if she was somewhat confused.
They had only shared perhaps a handful of kisses in the long years they had known each other - not counting pecks on cheeks or foreheads, the backs of hands or palms - and never had Bo-Katan been so very forward about telegraphing her desires. Ahsoka couldn’t say she disliked it, either.
Quite the opposite, in fact.
Bo-Katan pulled away only the slightest bit, and Ahsoka met her heavy gaze. Those eyes were more full of passion than she had ever seen them and something in her chest felt tight with the way Bo-Katan was staring at her.
“I thought you were dead,” Bo-Katan whispered, still so close that the words wafted against Ahsoka’s mouth. “When we heard about Alderaan - I thought you were dead, Ahsoka.”
Ahsoka reached up and ran a delicate finger over the scar on Bo-Katan’s forehead, smiling in a dazed kind of way. “I wasn’t there,” she told Bo-Katan just as softly, the tightness in her chest shifting with fresh bereavement. “I was in the Gordian Reach. Didn’t I tell you when you commed? I wasn’t there, I never - ”
She wasn’t able to finish speaking before Bo-Katan’s mouth was on hers again, insistent with her familiar resolution and just as fervent. Her hands held Ahsoka’s jaw tightly, turning her head so the kiss could deepen. This was new, the ardent care with which Bo-Katan pushed her way into Ahsoka’s space, her mind, her very soul.
Somehow Bo-Katan stepped closer, and Ahsoka slid her arms around her neck to let her in. Bo-Katan’s chest was pressed tightly to hers, her hips and thighs giving no space for Ahsoka to move even if she wanted to. She didn’t.
She didn’t want to move ever again if Bo-Katan continued to kiss her like this.
Bo-Katan paused her pleasant onslaught, catching Ahsoka’s gaze again so, so close, and then pressed her lips to Ahsoka’s cheek, her temple, the side of her nose, and back to the corner of her mouth. Ahsoka’s mind was reeling from the touch, not letting her catch her thoughts through the mist of unexpected desire that was exploding in her belly.
After a moment in which Ahsoka did her best to gather herself again, she put her hands to Bo-Katan’s face, holding gently as she murmured, “I’m just fine, Bo. Nothing happened to me, I wasn’t there.”
“But I didn’t know that,” Bo-Katan said intensely, nose butting against Ahsoka’s as she continued to keep them as close as possible. “For days, I didn’t know. I was so - ”
She didn’t finish the sentence, but she didn’t have to. Ahsoka heard afraid as if Bo-Katan had said it aloud. She pushed one of her hands into Bo-Katan’s hair to cradle the back of her head, keeping her just as close. “I know,” she breathed. “I’m sorry. I’m here with you now, don’t fret over it any longer.”
“How can I not?” Bo-Katan nuzzled their noses together, angling slightly to ghost her lips over Ahsoka’s again. “I am always going to worry about you. This - this just makes it worse.”
Ahsoka knew she was referring to the loss of Alderaan, and to the horrifying revelation of the weapon the Empire had been hiding. Yes, it did make this all worse. No one was safe, they had both experienced that far too often with everything they continued to lose. Being so far apart for so long only made the fear that much stronger when it seemed nowhere in the galaxy was sheltered from Imperial reach.
It was so much worse now.
Bo-Katan brushed their lips together, holding her face tightly. “I want you,” she murmured, the words warm against Ahsoka’s skin.
“I’m right here,” Ahsoka said lightly, grinning at the silly request when they were already together. But then Bo-Katan huffed out a short, amused laugh that warmed against Ahsoka’s cheek and Ahsoka’s face flamed with the realization of what Bo-Katan actually meant. “Oh. Oh.”
Bo-Katan rubbed a thumb over the angular white line on Ahsoka’s cheek. Her eyes were downcast, studying her, but she gave Ahsoka a small, affectionate smile. It was a smile Ahsoka had only ever seen directed at her, never anyone else, and emotion fluttered in her stomach.
“Naivë little Jedi,” she said with another tiny chuckle. She leaned forward to press her lips to Ahsoka’s cheek where her thumb had been, kissing the markings there. “You’re too perfect for this entire galaxy, you know that? They don’t deserve you.”
She trailed little kisses from Ahsoka’s cheek down the side of her face beside the lek, and then gently tipped up Ahsoka’s jaw to press her lips to the exposed skin of Ahsoka’s neck. The ridiculous and unexpected amount of affection made Ahsoka’s head spin. This alone was more than they’d done before and it was already intoxicating.
Any more and she might just lose her mind completely.
Though that wasn’t necessarily a bad thing, now.
She was not a Jedi, even if Bo-Katan still enjoyed calling her one. It was an endearment, coming from her, and Ahsoka enjoyed hearing the word in Bo-Katan’s voice. But realistically she had no Jedi Code to adhere to any longer, and her choices were all her own.
Bo-Katan continued kissing a line over her neck, returning to her jaw where she whispered, “No one deserves you.”
“You do. You do, Bo, you deserve me.”
Ahsoka broke away just enough to slide her hands back around to cup Bo-Katan’s cheeks in her hands, forcing her gaze back up. Bo-Katan’s eyes were bright, and, startlingly, she looked near to tears. Ahsoka leaned in, this time, and pressed her lips gently to Bo-Katan’s, an answer and a small offer to slow down, to come back. Proof she wasn’t going to vanish.
“You deserve me,” she said again forcefully.
Bo-Katan just bit out a self-deprecating laugh and pressed their foreheads together. Ahsoka could tell she didn’t believe it, that somewhere she still felt unworthy of Ahsoka’s companionship after the violence she met every day, and the emotions Ahsoka felt running through Bo-Katan’s soul were torrential in that moment. Doubt, anger, fear. But also affection, and so much love Ahsoka felt near to bursting with the shared weight of it.
“Kiss me, Bo,” Ahsoka demanded quietly, tilting her face so their lips were just shy of touching. An invitation.
Bo-Katan stared at her a moment longer, green eyes alight now with an ardent intensity that shook away any of her lingering doubt. Ahsoka smiled at her, and then Bo-Katan complied with enthusiasm.
Ahsoka’s back hit the wall again as Bo-Katan pressed into her, mouths already together. One of her hands slipped back into that fine red hair, the other falling to hold onto Bo-Katan’s armored shoulder. The beskar was chilly against her chest, where Bo-Katan was giving her no space to even breathe without the familiar scent of metal and sweat filling her lungs. Bo-Katan, for her part, immediately reached with both hands to the high collar of Ahsoka’s tunic, seeking out the clasps there without looking. Her fingers fumbled for a moment over the unfamiliar fabric, and then she was pushing it away under Ahsoka’s lekku and down her shoulders to expose her upper arms.
It was such an odd sensation, feeling Bo-Katan’s warm lips trailing down her neck and over her shoulders now. She nuzzled against Ahsoka’s collarbones, just above her sternum, and Ahsoka thought her heart was going to beat out of her ribs.
She took a sharp inhale, grounding herself to the moment, and grasped Bo-Katan’s hair with wandering hands. “Are you just going to wait for me to take that armor off of you?” she asked breathlessly.
Bo-Katan laughed against Ahsoka’s skin, pausing there for a second to kiss the very base of her throat where it met her chest. But then she suddenly backed away several steps, and the cold air rushing between them was a shock to Ahsoka’s burning body. She leaned against the wall for support when Bo-Katan’s hands slid away, leaving her dizzy and practically bereft with the loss of her touch. Her knees felt weak.
“I wouldn’t mind if you did it,” Bo-Katan said even as she reached for the various clasps and closures around her body to loosen the armor, “but I’d probably be a bit faster, wouldn’t I.”
All Ahsoka could do was watch as Bo-Katan stripped the beskar off and left it in a pile right there on the floor. Even her headband joined the pieces, letting her hair fall forward around her face as she peeled off the black undershirt and dropped it, too, unceremoniously to the ground. That only left the lined tights fitted to her legs and the minuscule wrappings around her chest.
Ahsoka had never seen so much skin on her before. No armor? Yes, many times. No shirt? No. Never. She couldn’t resist reaching out, then, to touch the firm muscle of Bo-Katan’s stomach. She was dotted with freckles all over her body, just like the ones on her face.
Bo-Katan took her hand and tugged her away from the wall. She leaned in for a kiss as soon as Ahsoka was close enough.
“I’m assuming this is the first time you’ve done this?” she asked quietly. There was no judgement in her voice, but rather a fond kind of assumption. She certainly wasn’t wrong. Ahsoka nodded, all the answer Bo-Katan needed.
“I’m assuming this is not your first time?” Ahsoka asked in return, unable to help the little trill of uneasiness that gripped her chest at the notion. She wasn’t jealous. She wasn’t.
“Only the fourth,” Bo-Katan told her honestly, keeping their faces close as she spoke. “I’ve never really cared for it with someone else before. And besides, there has always been something more important to demand my time the longer this fucking war drags on.”
“What changed?”
Bo-Katan pressed her lips to the skin still exposed on Ahsoka's neck as she considered her response. “You’re more important,” she finally murmured. “And I care about you.”
That was all Ahsoka needed to hear, and she tipped Bo-Katan’s chin upward with two fingers. She was taller than Bo-Katan now, a change she hadn’t noticed until they were standing so close. She knew declarations of love would be lost here, and quite unnecessary. Instead she gave Bo-Katan a warm smile and leaned down to kiss her sweetly on the lips.
Bo-Katan sighed against her mouth and took a step back, bringing Ahsoka with her. There were two beds, one beside the other separated by a narrow table under the high windows near the ceiling.
Before either of them sat, though, Bo-Katan slid her hands back under the collar of Ahsoka’s tunic. “Can I take this off?”
“Yes.”
Ahsoka unfastened the remaining clasps down the front and Bo-Katan took the lapels in her hands, drawing it away slowly. She tossed it on top of her piled armor.
Pinpricks erupted over Ahsoka’s exposed skin. Bo-Katan ran her hands up and down Ahsoka’s arms, giving her a bit of warmth back. They were both wearing only their leggings and bindings, though Ahsoka already felt very naked as they stood there in the center of the sunny room.
“I like your stripes.” Bo-Katan dragged a finger over Ahsoka’s collarbone down the center of her chest until it hit the thin fabric of her wrappings.
“They’re not stripes,” Ahsoka retorted without thinking, but then she blushed slightly.
Bo-Katan just grinned, reaching down to shuck off her leggings with practiced ease. The bindings over her chest followed. She must have noticed when Ahsoka hesitated, and she came close again.
“Just me, then,” she said easily.
“Sorry,”Ahsoka mumbled despite herself, suddenly feeling like a self-conscious teenager. Her nerve had given out.
But Bo-Katan ran a finger over Ahsoka’s cheek, very slowly coming in for another kiss. “Don’t apologize to me. I don’t need it.” Their lips met again, gently, smoothly. “Should I put my clothing back on?”
The question lilted with a bit of sing-song teasing, but it wasn’t mocking or cruel the way Bo-Katan could be with so many other people. Instead she was earnest, concerned. Emotions she only saw when they were alone together, and a clear sign of how much Bo-Katan cared for her. The genuine kindness bolstered her, and Ahsoka let out a long, calming breath.
“No,” she finally said, reaching up this time to run a hand down Bo-Katan’s bare shoulder, the length of her arm, to take her hand and thread their fingers together. “Keep going.”
She had shared so many first with Bo-Katan over their decade together. What was one more?
Bo-Katan grinned and stepped back, keeping their hands together. She was beautiful in her nudity, confident and unafraid, and Ahsoka stared at her, unabashed. She had never seen so much of Bo-Katan’s body before, and it was somewhat enthralling to know that this viciously strong woman trusted her enough to…do all of this.
Ahsoka let Bo-Katan lead her toward the closest bed, and she sat, scooting back so she was against the headboard with her legs crossed. Bo-Katan swung herself up into Ahsoka’s lap, thighs closing tight around Ahsoka’s hips and calloused hands coming to rest gently on Ahsoka’s waist. She still kept some space between them, studying Ahsoka for any sign she wanted to stop.
Ahsoka stared back at her, some of her earlier confidence returning. She reached up to cradle Bo-Katan’s face in her hands, drawing her down and down until their bodies were actually touching. Ahsoka kissed her and Bo-Katan practically melted against her chest with a long sigh.
Their faces pressed together, and Bo-Katan turned her head to nuzzle her nose into the space between Ahsoka’s temple and lek. Her hair tickled with the movement, and Ahsoka brushed it back behind one of her ears.
“Show me how to help you,” Ahsoka murmured.
Bo-Katan’s eyes darted to hers. Ahsoka ran a soft finger across her cheek, looking fondly at the freckles there so close. Bo-Katan silently kissed the corner of her mouth, lips already parted when they finally found Ahsoka’s.
She took Ahsoka’s hand from its trail over her flushed cheek and pushed it down between their bodies.
The emotion pouring from Bo-Katan washed over Ahsoka like an unexpected tide. She gasped quietly, soaking it in and letting it pull her along the path with Bo-Katan, even if she was not the one experiencing the touch herself.
She felt unmoored, like she’d been thrown out into a storm - but the overwhelming sensations were welcome, were intensely pleasant, and she ran her free hand up Bo-Katan’s warm back to grasp at the base of her neck. She needed the grounding, and the sweat gathering under her fingers on Bo-Katan’s skin was real, was proof she wasn’t losing her mind.
Bo-Katan pressed their foreheads together, their noses, their open mouths, and Ahsoka felt every tremor and every hitching breath as though it were her own.
It may as well have been.
Ahsoka let herself go, basking in the way Bo-Katan kept their lips together even as she panted with heavy breaths into Ahsoka’s mouth, the way her other hand clung to Ahsoka’s back, ensuring they remained near to each other, connected everywhere they possibly could be. Bo-Katan’s eyes were unfocused with glittering heat as she stared at Ahsoka so closely, so intensely, and Ahsoka couldn’t look away from her.
Ahsoka tilted her head up a bit, giving Bo-Katan a crooked kiss that was eagerly returned.
Minutes stretched on and on, and Ahsoka lost herself in the sounds Bo-Katan made, the heat of her breath, the incredible closeness even as she rocked in Ahsoka’s lap. The way she held tightly to Ahsoka’s wrist, guiding each touch that sent her reeling. Gentle kisses missed and met, but Bo-Katan returned again and again, never straying far. Ahsoka could feel her eyelashes as they fluttered, could feel the humidity of her breathing the same air. She also felt something wet hit her jaw, a tear as it finally fell down Bo-Katan’s face.
Ahsoka moved her hand from Bo-Katan’s neck to her cheek, rubbing the moisture away mindlessly. Bo-Katan turned her face into the touch and Ahsoka pressed their foreheads together, slid her hand back through Bo-Katan’s hair to hold her tightly.
An acknowledgement, a promise.
I’m here, I’m here.
The final wave, when it came, took Ahsoka’s breath away as it pulsed through Bo-Katan and into her without any of the barriers she usually held in place. She had taken them all down without even realizing. Ahsoka clutched at Bo-Katan’s hair, while Bo-Katan herself pressed her face tightly to Ahsoka’s temple. Her breath stuttered, and then she abruptly released Ahsoka’s hand and slumped against her chest without ceremony.
Ahsoka swallowed, taking a deep inhale in an attempt to calm her lungs, her mind, her emotions as they all swirled away from her. She released her hold on Bo-Katan’s hair and, wiping her other hand on the leggings she still wore, she reached up to take Bo-Katan’s face. It took a small amount of effort, as Bo-Katan didn’t seem willing to move at all, but she was finally able to turn those bright green eyes up to hers.
Bo-Katan was flushed, her freckles standing out starkly on her cheeks and forehead. Ahsoka laughed, a light, breathless sound that she barely recognized as her own.
“Your face is so red.”
“Really, Ahsoka?” Bo-Katan grumbled, turning her face out of Ahsoka’s grasp to fall forward again. She almost seemed embarrassed, though Ahsoka’s couldn’t understand why she would be. “My face is red, gods above. I can’t imagine why.”
Silence fell and, after a moment, Bo-Katan slid herself off of Ahsoka’s lap and out of her hold. She scooted down the bed until she could lie on her side, arm crooked under her head. Ahsoka watched her for a moment, still naked and her skin now mottled with blushes of red here and there, and then she too lied down facing Bo-Katan on the narrow mattress.
She could tell Bo-Katan wanted to be touched and so she reached out again to run her fingers delicately over her cheek, brushing sweaty hair back. “Are you okay?”
Bo-Katan looked at her and Ahsoka pressed her palm to that ruddy cheek, holding her gaze unflinchingly. She was sure she wasn’t going to get an answer, but Bo-Katan sighed and said, “You can’t die, Ahsoka. You can’t leave me alone in this gods-foresaken universe. Sometimes,” she added softly, “I think you’re the only thing keeping my conscious tempered. Without you...I’m violent without you holding me back.”
“But I don’t hold you back, Bo,” Ahsoka murmured, curling her fingers around the side of Bo-Katan’s face protectively. “You’re your own conscious. You made that choice a long time ago, to leave Death Watch and find your own way. And you have - you’ve found the path you were always meant for. I’m not the one guiding you there; you’re guiding yourself there.”
“My little Jedi,” Bo-Katan chuckled softly, affectionately. “So righteous.”
Ahsoka smiled at her and shuffled forward a little bit to lessen the space between them. Bo-Katan threw her leg over the top of Ahsoka’s hips, helping to tug her in so their bodies were pressed together.
“Maybe I don’t want to walk down that path alone anymore,” Bo-Katan whispered, watching her closely in the dusty sunlight still streaming in through the high windows. “Maybe I want you to stay with me. Maybe I want to be there with you, when we both die.”
The unsteadiness in Bo-Katan’s voice made Ahsoka’s chest constrict painfully. She didn’t know what to say and so she tilted her head to kiss her lips again.
“I just don’t want to wonder,” Bo-Katan said against Ahsoka’s mouth when she pulled away. “If you’re alive or not, after the Empire blows up the next planet or destroys the next system. What if you’re there? What if I never know?”
“I don’t have an answer for you,” Ahsoka said sadly, rubbing her knuckles over Bo-Katan’s high cheekbone and brushing their lips together. “But I’m here now, and so are you. Let’s just take advantage of the time we have.” She paused, making sure Bo-Katan was looking at her, and said, “I will never leave you wondering, Bo, I promise. One way or another, you will know.”
Bo-Katan forced out a small laugh. “Force tricks?”
Ahsoka just grinned, her knuckles still moving gently back and forth over Bo-Katan’s skin. “Yeah. Force tricks.”
“Good enough, I guess.”
Bo-Katan let out a sharp exhale as she moved past their unhappy conversation without further comment, and then she shifted slightly to thread her free arm under Ahsoka’s lek to wrap around her back. Her grip was tight, the embrace warm, and Ahsoka pressed her face to the front of Bo-Katan’s chest, letting herself be held.
This was new, too, and she found she liked it quite a bit.
After a warm, comfortable few minutes, Ahsoka murmured, “You’re not violent, Bo. You’re ferocious. I happen to appreciate your ferocity.”
Bo-Katan barked out a laugh in obvious surprise, the sound rumbling in her throat where Ahsoka could hear it clearly. She rested her head in the dip between Ahsoka’s montrals. Her breath there tickled, almost. It wasn’t a sensation Ahsoka was familiar with, being touched in such a sensitive place.
“Ferocious, huh?” Bo-Katan replied, voice amused and so, so fond. “I’ll take that.”
Silence fell again, and Ahsoka tucked herself against Bo-Katan’s chest under her chin as her companion’s breathing evened and she dozed off. It wasn’t a deep sleep, Ahsoka could tell, but she still didn’t have any wish to disturb her yet. Her arms were bent up between their bodies with Bo-Katan holding her so tightly, and she gently reached out with three fingers to feel the warmth of Bo-Katan’s skin at her neck. Her pulse thumped softly there, a reassuring beat that matched Ahsoka’s as they lied together.
For all the fear Bo-Katan had of losing her, Ahsoka was just as afraid. Bo-Katan threw herself into harm’s way so often, in her quest to retake her home, and beskar was only so good at keeping one safe - as they had learned a handful of times over the years. Bo-Katan had already been at death’s door herself more than once.
But here, now, Bo-Katan was safe. Her arms were secure around Ahsoka’s body, holding her close as their time together ticked by. They were both safe, far away from the dangers always waiting.
That was enough.
Ahsoka closed her eyes, taking a deep breath and inhaling the scent of Bo-Katan’s musky, sweat-dried skin.
Every second here with her was worth it.
“You deserve me, Bo,” she whispered, although Bo-Katan was still dozing, her soft breath warm and real over Ahsoka’s skin. “We deserve each other.”