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Illumi Hair Appreciation

Summary:

Just Illumi getting his hair braided before a mission.

For the fellow Illumi simps who need soft Illumi content

Notes:

Ooookay, so yeah this is self indulgence fic because YES I AM AN ILLUMI SIMP. Still wanna punch that motherfucker in the face but it will not stop me from wanting to touch his hair. This fic is full of headcanons i have for him, which makes writing him a bit OOC inevitable. I tried to make him his blunt, blank self with a bit of tenderness put into le mixture.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

You were in your rented motel’s bathroom styling your hair. It was super early in the morning, probably like five in the morning—the sun was not even up yet. You were dressed up in your formal wear considering you were about to infiltrate a mafia setting with your work partner.

 

“Y/N.” Illumi’s soft but sharp voice hit your ears suddenly, you jumped and turned around to look at the man behind you. His large eyes looked with curiosity at your hair, you tilted your head to the right and he mirrored your head movement. He was bent down to match your height and super close to your face. It was a bit weird and out of character for Illumi to just stare you down with no reason. Looking down into his hand Illumi had his phone with a website pulled up.

 

You raised your eyebrow at him and answered, “Yes?” He lifted his phone and practically shoved it in your face, having no care or acknowledgement for personal space. The picture was of a woman with two French braids going down her head and down to her waist. She had multiple barrettes in her hair with a few small flowers in with them. “What do you want me to do with this?” Illumi huffed and pointed to the picture and then to his head. You spoke again in disbelief, “You want me to do your hair like the picture?”

 

Illumi gave you a small nod. For an empty assassin, he’s cute. His eyebrows furrowed when you chuckled at him.

 

For the little time you two had worked together, you were taking a liking to the Zoldyck. Sure, Illumi was blunt as fuck and not able to convey certain emotions. Like that time when you told him to smile he gave you the scariest smile you had ever seen in your life. Growing up in the underground you had seen many unexplainable things and many sights the regular civilian would gauge their eyes out upon seeing them. Missions involving the Zoldyck’s and other assassins were oddly the most tender out of everything. Sometimes you’d build a little relationship with your partners—it makes zero sense when you think about someone who takes lives for a living asking you out for coffee or on a date. 

 

You had even been to the Zoldyck estate once or twice, mainly because you had to retrieve something for your boss from the family.

 

Illumi and you are not friends, but you definitely are not acquaintances or enemies either. You have this...understanding of each other—to a degree of course, you had significantly more love from your parents than he did. You did not have a younger brother, when he talked about Killua you thought his relationship with him was a “have fun together and take care of him” kind of way. But the way Illumi explained his love for Killua you then realized how fucked up the man you were partnered up with was. Still, as much as Illumi creeped you the fuck out, you still took a small liking to him.

 

You stood staring at him trying to think of what to say without it sounding like you were mocking him. “Okay, I can do that style of hair for you. Just get a brush and hair ties or something,” you said, leaning on the sink of the tiny half bathroom. He practically vanished before coming back with your brush and your hair ties—your hair was out of the way most of the time. Those were mainly for Illumi because he refused to tie his own hair up when it was in his face. With a hesitant sigh you walked past him and sat on the bed, “Come. Sit in front of me so i can do it.” There was a little gleam of—excitement, you guessed. But you could tell this was a very new experience for him considering his parents were too busy to treat him to a nice hair day. 

 

He sat between your legs, facing the TV and watching the random channel that was on while you prepared to make him even more pretty than he already was.You saw the TV and it had a cartoon for kids on. Deciding not to say anything was probably the best decision because Illumi looked very invested in the show. Maybe he liked it so much because he had never really watched TV as a child—damn, Illumi’s life was depressing. The least you could do was let him enjoy a cartoon meant for an eight year old.

 

Without saying anything you grabbed the comb and parted his hair down the middle, he jolted a little bit but you continued. Tying up the left side so you could begin on the right. Illumi’s hair was oddly the softest you had ever touched, which was surprising considering you had never seen this man’s hair care routine. It felt like petting a long-haired chinchilla. You had touched his hair before, but not like this—maybe you could convince him to let you play with his hair later. It made you giddy just thinking about it, but you had to calm down and deal with the present. Grabbing three strands of hair at the top you braided them, gradually grabbing more hair as you put together the braid. A few hairs escaped now and then, but you would delicately take them back in and secure them. You were halfway done with the first braid when Illumi’s head was leaning into your working hands. Your guess was he was probably drowsy from the combing and fingers in his hair. Taking his chin in your hand you lifted it up so you could look at him. Illumi was drowsing off, you considered taking a picture because who does not want blackmail against a Zoldyck. It would pay very well to certain people in the underground.

 

But with more thought you concluded you would not humiliate him like that, depending if the man had an ounce of shame in his body. You moved his head gently and finished braiding the right side. It looked pretty good if you said so yourself—you took pride in your handy work. Braiding the neighborhood girls’ hair before school in your teen years really paid off. It did not bother you that Illumi was practically falling asleep on you. From what Hisoka had said about Illumi, he said that the assassin will be out like a light if you do something as small as run your fingers through his hair. You were conflicted on whether to test this fact or even trust Hisoka—the man was just as fucking unhinged as Illumi so you really did not know what to think. Not that made you want to play with his hair even more than before. Either way, whether he was awake or not, you continued.

 

The other braid was finished before you could say “assassin”, weaving the silky hair together and picking up random fly away hairs.

 

With the last hair tie securing the style, you had smiled and poked Illumi. “Illumi…I-Illumi—oh,” You trailed off when you saw he was gone. Completely unconscious, as adorable as he looked, you both needed to get going otherwise you would both be late for the event. It took a little more prodding at his face and eventually sticking him in both eyes with your fingers to finally awaken him.

 

“Are you done?” He asked blankly, not even fazed how he just fell asleep.

 

You put down the brush, cracked your knuckles and gave him a nod and a smile. Illumi got up and went into the bathroom, seeing his nicely braided hair in the mirror. Feeling the braids and shaking his head back and forth and watching them swing. He did not say anything else except, “I quite like this. We should leave now.”

 

You laughed and followed him out the room door, maybe you could eventually convince him to let you play with his hair.

Notes:

The photo I attached was pretty much his hairstyle except longer and the color black ^^

imma just go into detail about my headcanons for Illumi that may or may not be very present in this fic:

• Illumi likes/enjoys children's cartoons/shows, it could be considered a guilty pleasure because if Hisoka found out he'd blackmail the assassin. Reasoning for him liking them was he had never really watched TV because he was too busy with work and training himself/siblings. So when a children's cartoon came up on a TV in a hotel somewhere once he was INVESTED. Even though it was made for children he was highly entertained and wanted to watch more of it.

• Illumi likes his hair being played with and has like a 12 step routine for hair care. This man has some majestic ass hair there is no way he does not shower regularly and uses nice, all natural products. He has to have soft hair, I take no opinions. And he enjoys having someone run their fingers in it, t'is very comforting for him.

• This man has no concept of personal space or has any real social skills. He is awkward as fuck, so when Illumi wants to get your attention he'd probably come up behind you and turn you around forcefully just to show you something like a cat meme. Or he just stands creepily behind you waiting for you to acknowledge his presence, not knowing he is silent and uses assassin techniques in his daily life—so he scares the shit out of people. And with the personal space, yeah he's just in your face all the time and sometimes you have to be like "back it tf up needle man"

That is it for now fellow Illumi simps (or not idk who u simp for). JUST FOR CLARIFICATION, I AM NOT AN ILLUMI KINNIE, i just wanna cuddle his pretty ass for some fockin reason.