Chapter Text
danki: Welcome to the bread bank. we sell bread, we sell loaves. we got bread on deck, bread on the floor. TOASTED. RO-
Flex Tape™: bro, shut the fuck up. listen, I just need a baguette and a brioche.
danki: we don't have either of those, you can get the gluten-free white bread or the potato bread-
Flex Tape™: what the fuck is gluten? take that shit out.
danki: it's gluten-free.
Flex Tape™: I don't CARE if it's free.
danki: swear on your fucking YEEZYS; if you wanna fight, we gon' fight.
Flex Tape™: you tryna be on worldstar?
danki: What, you gonna record it?
Flex Tape™: ye. i got my dollar store camera on.
i’m hard: What's the fucking situaaaaaaaaaaation?
Explodo-kill: I regret the day I met you all
sleeping bag with legs: wow never thought I would be agreeing with Bakugou but here we are
running in the 90s: why don’t we have any sort of authority in this chat?
glass bones & paper skin: but Iida
glass bones & paper skin: you ARE our authority figure <3
running in the 90s: …
assid: lololol Iida is so done with us
sleeping bag with legs: my job only includes keeping you in line during school hours
running in the 90s: That’s it, I’m adding people to help.
insomnia’s bitch: Do it, I know the law.
[running in the 90s added Mirio Togata and Tamaki Amajiki]
i’m hard: OH FUCK YEAH HI TAMAKI-SENPAI
Tamaki: Oh hello Red.
sleeping bag with legs: lol Iida you tried
sleeping bag with legs: don’t try again
running in the 90s: what-
[Mirio changed their name to accidental nudist]
[accidental nudist changed Tamaki to tentacle porn]
accidental nudist: WASSUP FUCKERS
glass bones & paper skin: WHY ARE YOU ON MY PHONE?
accidental nudist: BECAUSE FUCK YOU THAT’S WHY
danki: lololol this is the best mistake Iida has ever made
assid: oh hell yeah
Flex Tape™: ohohoho this is going to be great
running in the 90s: …. what have I done
tentacle porn: Togata… blease
i’m hard: lol I’m so tempted to tell Dad Gum about this
tentacle porn: oh god oh no please
space jam: Deku where are you I wanted to show you something
glass bones & paper skin: two bros~
accidental nudist: chillin at Nighteyes agency~
glass bones & paper skin: 1 foot apart cause we’re kinda gay~
sleeping bag on legs: why on EARTH would you put those two in the same chat?
sleeping bag on legs: what made you think that was a good idea?
running in the 90s: He’s a third year so I thought he would be… responsible
sleeping bag on legs: lol no
accidental nudist: EXCUSE ME BUT WHO WATCHES ERI WHEN YOU’RE BUSY WITH WORK
sleeping bag with legs: you see…
sleeping bag with legs: I ask both you and Problem Child since she loves you two…
sleeping bag with legs: but then Problem Child ends up babysitting both of you
tentacle porn: you’re not the one who gets the panicked texts from Izuku when Togata does something stupid
accidental nudist: what is this ‘Hate Mirio’ hours?
sleeping bag with legs: lol
glass bones & paper skin: no never <3
glass bones & paper skin: where else am I supposed to get my warm beefy hugs from
i’m hard: beefy?
assid: lololol
glass bones & paper skin: have you seen his arms?
tentacle porn: and his chest
glass bones & paper skin: oh god the tiddie pillows
glass bones & paper skin: don’t forget his thighs
black parade: what is this utterly gay aura?
accidental nudist: GUYYYSSSS
accidental nudist: that’s the sweetest thing anyone’s ever said about me :,)
danki: hdskbdjvhel this is the gayest thing I’ve ever seen and I’m dating Hanta
Flex Tape™: 1.) ow
Flex Tape™: 2.) true
assid: and they’re all on first name basis huievbuierr
i’m hard: even I must say that’s gay
glass bones & paper skin: laugh all you want but you haven’t lived until you’ve been wrapped in Mirio’s huge ass arms and layed your head on his sweet tiddie pillows
tentacle porn: ^
running in the 90s: I now see the error in my ways and wish to take it all back
accidental nudist: lol no <3
glass bones & paper skin: no <3
icy-thot: didn’t you two say you were at the agency? shouldn’t you be on patrol?
glass bones & paper skin: it’s paperwork day
sleeping bag with legs: lol suffer
accidental nudist: Izuku spent a good hour trying to make Sir laugh before giving up and shooting rubber bands at me from his desk
accidental nudist: he hit me in the eye
glass bones & paper skin: I APOLOGIZED FOR THAT
Aux Cord: good going Midoriya, you’ve blinded our upperclassman
glass bones & paper skin: you go missing for like 2 days and you come back just to attack me?
Aux Cord: yuh
glass bones & paper skin: DX
danki: lol
Flex Tape™: quick what’s the most cursed thing you can think of
accidental nudist: Bigfoot but fully shaved
tentacle porn: Mr. Clean
danki: ndsklksvlkdvh
Flex Tape™: this is better than I thought it would be
assid: vdkhvilvhihvldgi
i’m hard: lololol
Explodo-kill: I wanna leave
glass bones & paper skin: oooo I GOT ONE
Flex Tape™: go for it
i’m hard: you got this
danki: lol doubt you could beat Tamaki and Mirio-senpai tho
assid: ^
glass bones & paper skin: fully carpeted kitchen
danki: …
assid: …
Flex Tape™: …
i’m hard: …
icy-thot: …
Explodo-kill: wtaf Deku
tentacle porn: I’ve never been more uncomfortable
sleeping bag with legs: get out of my class I’m disowning you
Aux Cord: where did Mirio go?
danki: yeah he does seem like he would say something
tentacle porn: he would...
glass bones & paper skin: he jumped across the desk and tackled me out of my chair and tried to strangle me
accidental nudist: I have never been more disgusted in my life
tentacle porn: Togata how dare you hurt the baby >:(
glass bones & paper skin: Tama-senpai he made me hit my elbow ;,(
tentacle porn: TOGATA MIRIO
accidental nudist: I-
accidental nudist: wut
danki: dosvhfouve
assid: jorhiviooe
Flex Tape™: idshlhuosf
i’m hard: LOLOLOL
accidental nudist: this is favoritism
tentacle porn: he’s baby
glass bones & paper skin: I’m baby