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Conception

Summary:

Caduceus finishes his commune with the Wildmother with a soft prayer, and turns to walk over to them with a tender smile that Caleb knows is about to break bad news to them. Before Caduceus even reaches them, Essek has already visibly deflated upon seeing the look on Caduceus' face, and Caleb does his best to ignore the tight feeling lodged in his throat. They both already know what's coming as he stops in front of them.

But then, after a few seconds of standing there silently before them, Caduceus' expression cracks into a wide grin, the solemn look gone as he simply tells them-

"Congratulations."

(Aka SUPER DOMESTIC shadowgast where they've been trying for kids and find out they've finally been successful. Check notes for warnings!)

Notes:

Thank you mini [REDACTED] server on discord for enabling the cheesiest, softest side of me and leading me to write this <3

This takes place well into the future, when the Cerberus Assembly has already been well taken care of by The Mighty Nein and Caleb and Essek are married and have done a lot of personal growth and healing. I might write a few more fics in continuation to this if I ever feel like it, but no promises!

Warnings: In this fic, Essek is a transgender man who is attempting to become/becomes pregnant. Transgender men can and do have children in real life, and it does not make them any less of a man (!!), but I understand that trans pregnancies can also be very triggering for some people to read about so I thought I would make it clear that that's what's happening.

Caleb is ALSO a trans man, and has temporarily transmogrified himself into a body that is capable of impregnating Essek, however absolutely NONE of that is discussed in this fanfic. I just thought I would explain that since I also tagged this for trans Caleb. (Also shoutout to goldengrahams (also on AO3) for thinking of trans Caleb using magic to get Essek pregnant that was very galaxy brain of him)

Work Text:

There was absolutely nothing more agonizing than trying to sit still and silent in these quiet moments that happen once a month, observing Caduceus as he peacefully communes with the Wildmother on behalf of him and Essek. Caleb has seen Caduceus do this same exact thing countless times, knows there is no rushing the process, and yet still finds himself bristling with restless anticipation as Caduceus seeks answers from the Wildmother that they cannot figure out themselves with mere mortal intellect.

 

The past seven times that Caduceus has finished his commune, he has given them both the same answer: They are doing everything right, neither of them are infertile,

 

But Essek is still not pregnant.

 

Caleb has never seen Essek look more disappointed than the times when Caduceus tells him that he still isn't pregnant, and if watching Essek is even half as heartbreaking as experiencing what Essek must be feeling each time, then Caleb doesn't know how Essek is retaining his sanity. True, Caleb does his absolute best to reassure Essek and remind him that they will, eventually, be successful, but even he himself has started to feel frustration growing inside him. It was so hard to be told that neither of them were doing anything wrong, but then still not be expecting. It went against everything he had learned as an arcanist: That an experiment performed correctly will garner a positive result.

 

Even now, Caleb is readying himself to hear the same thing as always. He feels the flutter of excitement in his stomach, that hope that maybe this time will be the time Caduceus gives them good news, but he does his best to crush his expectations. It's not worth it to get his hopes up and risk the emotional devastation that comes when they're told they have to keep trying. He simply does his best to keep his expectations low, and he reminds Essek to do the same when he starts to see the signs that Essek is getting impatient and restless beside him.

 

Caduceus finishes his commune with the Wildmother with a soft prayer, and turns to walk over to them with a tender smile that Caleb knows is about to break bad news to them. Before Caduceus even reaches them, Essek has already visibly deflated upon seeing the look on Caduceus' face, and Caleb does his best to ignore the tight feeling lodged in his throat. They both already know what's coming as he stops in front of them.

 

But then, after a few seconds of standing there silently before them, Caduceus' expression cracks into a wide grin, the solemn look gone as he simply tells them-

 

"Congratulations."

 

Caleb's breath leaves him, and beside him he hears Essek choke out a laugh of disbelief. And then another. And then a sob.

 

Caleb is also crying.

 

Within a matter of seconds, Caleb and Essek are reduced to weeping messes, and sweeping Essek into his arms in order to lean down and kiss him between their sobs and laughter only feels like the right and natural thing for Caleb to do. Caleb cannot recall a time where he has ever felt so entirely elated and euphoric, and he finds himself speechless in his happiness, and Essek appears much the same.

 

Caleb has never lost track of time once in his life, but he cannot even begin to remember - or care about, for that matter - how long they stand there, crying and laughing for joy, wrapped tightly in the others arms. Caduceus makes absolutely no effort to stop them, simply gives them their space to celebrate, and they make no effort to stop each other either, helplessly absorbed in one of the best moments of their life together. Caleb is certain that the next few hours will be some of the most joyful and exhilarating of his entire existence, and he knows he would have gleefully sacrificed almost anything for this experience with Essek, but he thankfully doesn't have to, he simply gets to have it , and it is amazing and beautiful and everything. 

 

What must be hours later, Caleb has finally, finally almost managed to compose himself for their teleport home, when Essek reaches up to hold Caleb's face in his hands, makes direct eye contact with Caleb with tears in eyes.

 

" You are going to be a father. " Is all Essek says, and that's all it takes to make Caleb start crying again.

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