Archive of Our Own ^beta

As James climbs the fire escape, he keeps mumbling to himself, but is pretty sure that Cap can hear him, even through the coms.  The bastard can always hear what anyone says because of that damned serum.  It’s frustrating most of the time, but a necessary evil of the job that James does for the team.  After coming back, he joined the Avengers with the caveat that Captain Rogers would watch out for him.  SHIELD assumed that it would be a win-win because the two men knew each other, were friends.    

Little did they know.  

As close as they were before, they aren’t much like that anymore.  A person can only have their brain fried so many times before things start to go away permanently.  They still work well together, but the Winter Soldier thinks that may just be muscle memory.  He gets sad smiles from his former friend, but what’s a guy to do.    

Nothing, that’s what.  

He’s got a job to do and that’s what James is trying to do.  He treats Cap with respect, given that he’s the leader of the Avengers, and a damn good one in James’s opinion, but beyond that there’s not much interaction.  James has times that he wishes that he could remember, but after the first few months of Cap saying, ‘Hey Buck, you remember when…’ and James saying no, Cap stopped trying.  They  could  probably be friends because James does have flashes of the past, but not enough to build anything on.    

At least he doesn’t think so.  

Getting set up on the fire escape, he pulls his rifle around his body, kneels and starts taking out those…he truly has no idea what they are.  It’s like this crazy ass guy they’re trying to catch crossed a scorpion and a grasshopper, but made them the size of a rhino, that’s what James is trying to take down.  This is going to cause nightmares later, but for now, he’s just got to keep them off the team while Mr. Star Spangled hunts Mr. I Shall Destroy You All.  

“How the hell is  this  my life?”  There are a couple of sniggers from the com.  He’s pretty sure that one of those was Hawkeye.  

“Winter, where are you set up?”  Rogers doesn’t call him Bucky anymore, not even James, just Winter.  The flashes that James gets about their childhood tells him that Cap’s trying to maintain the distance between them by making his former friend into someone else.  Something separate enough to ease Steve’s pain from the lack of memory.  That’s okay with James because he can’t be that guy anymore and doesn’t want to try.  After everything he’s been through, he doesn’t feel the need to please anyone, not even Cap.  

“I’m on Sullivan.  Got myself on a fire escape.”  Another one of those things leaps and the wing-like appendages come out carrying it onto the side of a building.  It begins climbing and James needs to put a stop to that.  He knows that Hawkeye is up there.  “It would be nice if these things didn’t jump like that.”  

There’s another snort, James takes out the one on the same building with Clint.  He could swear that he just heard Hawkeye squeal in terror.  But it’s Captain America’s next question that seems odd.  “Where on Sullivan?”  

Bucky huffs and rolls his eyes.  What does it fucking matter?  “700 block, third building, 5 th  floor.”  His response is clipped and efficient.  

There’s a chuckle from the good Captain.  “If you’re on the north side of the street, Ma and I used to live there.”  The melancholy tone is unmistakable.    

Bucky turns around looking and for just a split second he has a flash of something familiar.  There’s not enough of it to really be sure, but he can picture a blond woman with an Irish accent.  Turning back, he fires again as one of those things goes after Iron Man.  Tony flies back into the area now that he’s not being chased and goes to assist Cap.  

Black Widows voice comes through the com and she’s obviously running at top speed.  “Okay, no one use an electrical charge, they  really  don’t like that.”  She’s coming around the far corner and Bucky takes aim.  She stops in the street as he fires, but she starts yelling and pointing at Bucky’s position.  “WATCH OUT!”  

Bucky turns just in time to see Mr. Evil Master Mind throw what looks like a green ball of energy.  It’s on him before Bucky can throw himself from the fire escape.  He hears Cap scream into the com.  Closing his eyes, James expects to die, but instead, when he opens them, he’s on the same fire escape, only it’s nighttime and raining instead of sunny, and something about his surroundings is very, very wrong.  

The window behind him is thrown open and James turns with his weapon at the ready, the blond woman steps back with her hands on her hips and not even a tiny bit intimidated.  “Now put that away and get in here before ya catch your death.”  James blinks at her, but she can’t see it behind his goggles.  “Well, do what I’m tellin ya.”  Her attitude is familiar, but for a few seconds he can’t place it.  

Confused and more than a little freaked out, James goes through the open window and stands dripping inside the apartment.  It’s not the gentrified apartment from a few minutes ago, this place is run down, but neat and clean.  A smell drifts in from the kitchen and it’s, again, familiar, but he can’t place that either.  Looking back at the blond woman, his eyes get wide behind his goggles.  Through the face mask he wears, he gasps.  “Miss Sarah?”  He’s not even sure how he knows that, but it’s her.  

She goes down the hall and comes back with a towel.  It’s nothing like the soft things that Stark has in his Tower, but when she throws it at him, he catches it.  “Dry yourself.”  She heads off into the kitchen.  

James absentmindedly uses the towel, but is startled again when a noise comes from the hallway.  Turning he sees a baby or maybe a toddler.  The Winter Soldier part of him assesses what he’s seeing.   ‘Human, no more than three, small, too small, and thin, blond hair, almost white, big blue eyes, pale skin, and grinning.’   Why is the child smiling?  He should be screaming in terror at the Winter Soldier in all of his garb, including face mask and goggles, but no, this tiny child is grinning like a loon.  He giggles and blinks big blue eyes at the guest in the apartment.  

Running into the kitchen, James sees the child tugging at Miss Sarah’s skirt.  Looking down she starts talking to him in a language that James doesn’t know, but in the back of his mind he thinks  ‘Gaelic. ’  Holding up his arms, Sarah picks him up and comes back into the living room.  “Now, we dinna have much, but what we do have you’re welcome to.”   Suddenly, there’s a loud thump on the ceiling and screaming starts upstairs.  “Leathcheann.”  She’s staring up at the ceiling.  “They’re at it again.”  

The child seems unaffected by the noise and just keeps staring at James.  “What is that?”  She huffs.  

Sarah looks over and then thrusts the baby into James’s arms.  “Here, hold this.”  He holds the child out in front of him with his hands under the kid’s arms. The baby weighs almost nothing.  She storms into the kitchen, grabbing the broom and proceeds to bang on the ceiling.  “This is why you don’t marry just a pretty face.  This is why you get to know a person and decide if they have substance.”  James watches this tiny, slip of a woman, yelling at the ceiling while banging vigorously with the broom.  She storms back into the room, still ranting.  “Less than six months and the two of them canna stand to be in the same room together.”  Her hands are back on her hips again.  “I ask you, why?  Why would ya marry someone ya just met?  Answer me that!”  Not wanting to upset the woman, James pulls the child to his chest.  He may be the feared Winter Soldier, but he’s not willing to cross this lady.  

There’s something about her that he should have expected, but didn’t.  She’s fire and fury with sparkling blue eyes, with just a hint of green.  She’s probably less than a hundred pounds and her hair is golden blond in a braid over her shoulder.  The clothes she’s wearing are homemade, but she holds herself with pride and dignity.  This must be where Cap gets it from.  

James is still trying to figure out what to do with the kid, who suddenly thinks that one of the straps on his gear is perfect to gnaw on.  Working it out of the kid’s mouth, James frowns.  “Don’t do that!  It could make you sick.”  

Sarah’s face softens.  “Perhaps ya want to take off that mask and those things coverin your eyes.”  

Reaching up, he pulls both from his face, sitting them aside on a table.  “Sorry.”  The baby reaches up with both tiny hands, one on each of his cheeks, he starts kicking his little legs and squealing.  

“He likes ya and I always trust his judgment.  Steven’s never been wrong about a person.”  James freezes and it all starts to crash down around him.  Sarah Rogers is standing in front of him, young and not nearly as overworked as the flashes he has of her and he’s holding…jesus…he’s holding Steve.  Looking into the baby’s face, James can see it now.    

How the ever loving fuck did this happen?  

“I think I need to sit down.”  He tries to hand Little Steve over to Sarah, but the baby won’t let go of him.  Sarah giggles and James finally gives up trying to get the baby to release him, so he goes over to a chair and sits heavily.  Little Steve lays his head on James’s shoulder in what seems to be a show of comfort.  Without thinking, he wraps his arms around the kid and holds on.  Looking back up at Sarah, James sighs.  “Where am I?”  

Smiling kindly, her head tilts in a way that’s so Steve Rogers.  “You’re in Brooklyn, New York, and it’s October 4 th , 1921.”  She turns back to the kitchen and goes to tend to dinner.  Steve snuggles in closer and James wonders what the hell he’s going to do.  Somewhere out there is a little version of himself and that thought sends his brain spiraling.  He’s so caught up in the how to get home that it takes a minute for him to realize that Sarah gave him not just the city, but the date and year.  Looking into the kitchen, he examines her as she stirs the pot on the stove.  

“What the hell am I going to do, Steve?”  The baby lifts his head and starts to babble with actual words mixed in, twisting his little hands this way and that to emphasize his point, such as it is.  “You’re no help.”  That sends the little guy into a fit of giggles.  

“Now, what do we call ya?”  Sarah leans on the back of the sofa, watching them.  

“Uh…Bucky?”  He decides to give that name since she’s been really kind and Bucky sounds less threatening.  

She quirks an eyebrow.  “Ya don’t seem to sure about it.”  

“Yeah…Bucky.”  Nodding she goes to ready the food.  

Through dinner, James thinks through everything that happened during the battle.  It had to be the green ball of whatever that sorcerer guy threw at him, but it doesn’t help knowing that because he can’t do anything about it.  He can’t reverse it and he’s pretty sure that the sorcerer guy hasn’t been born yet, so here he is, in the past, watching Sarah help Baby Steve eat his dinner.  He doesn’t remember much about before, but he does remember there not being much food, so he claims to be less hungry so that Sarah and Steve have more to eat.  Even with hunger pains, he just pushes the food around his plate.  

How does he get home?  

That thought surprises him because he’s never really considered anything home, that he remembers anyway, but that crazy ass world that he just left has become home.  Sarah’s voice startles him.  “It canna be that bad, Bucky.”  

He looks up and she’s staring at his plate.  “Oh, no ma’am, I just got caught in my head.”  She just smiles and that feeling of familiar comes back.   

There’s a loud knock on the door and a man’s voice calling for Sarah.  “Miss Sarah, you’ve got a call.  Pretty sure it’s the hospital.”  James jumps and pulls a knife from somewhere in his uniform, knocking his chair over in the process.  Baby Steve giggles at that.  He seriously should have more fear of things, but nothing James does seems to startle or upset him.  

Sarah jumps to her feet and heads to the door.  “Now put that away.  We’ll have none of that,” She points at the knife, “around my little Steven.”  

James nearly snorts at that considering what her Steven is up to in the future.  “Yes ma’am.”  He puts the knife away and picks the chair up.  

“I’ll be back.”  And she’s out the door.  

Little Steve claps his hands and that’s the second that James realizes he’s being left alone with the baby.  He starts to call after her, but then shakes himself out of it.  “I’m a goddamn assassin, I can handle one kid alone for a few minutes.”    

Giving up on the spoon that he’s trying to use, Steve throws it to the floor and grabs two handfuls of food and tries to shove it into his mouth.  James jumps up, going around the table.  “Hey ya little heathen, stop that.  You’ll choke.”  He grasps Baby Steve’s hands and pulls them away from his mouth.  “Small bites you little…” Before he can finish, Steve’s grinning up at him and leaning in to take a little bite from the mess in his hands, smiling the whole time.  “You were born an asshole, weren’t you?”  

Sarah’s back a few minutes later rushing into the apartment.  She seems shaken and both James and Baby Steve look over at her.  “Oh dear, there’s been an accident and I’ve been called in to help.”  She heads to her bedroom and James and Steve look at each other.  Rushing back in, she’s in her uniform and headed to get her coat.  “You two will be fine.  Steven goes down at 8, so just make sure he’s in bed by then.”  

James is flustered by all of this.  As she heads to the door he calls out to her.  “You don’t even know me, ma’am and you’re trusting me with your kid.  I don’t think you understand who I am.”  

Sarah looks back smiling and it’s so soft and gentle that James calms some.  “You’re right, of course, but I also know that my son and I have always been very good at reading people.  You’ve a good heart, Bucky, even if you don’t believe in yourself.”  She comes over, kissing the top of Steve’s head.  “You be good, understand?”  Steve nods his little head.  Going to James, she kisses his cheek.  “And you don’t let this one hurt himself.  He’s a bit of a handful sometimes.”  

James has no idea what the hell is happening.  He can scope out a target, take down aliens, and damn near fix anything someone puts in front of him, but for some reason, he’s in the apartment of his former best friend and babysitting said former best friend and pretty sure that this is the most frightened he’s been ever.  He still doesn’t understand why Sarah trusts him and why the kid won’t stop smiling at him.  He doesn’t meet Steve for another few years.  That he’s sure of.  Shaking his head, he corrects himself.  The James that’s here, a little boy, hasn’t met Steve yet.  Looking back over at the table, Baby Steve is leaning sideways in the highchair trying to look at James upside down.  “Seriously, Steve?”  Sitting back up, Steve giggles so much he burps.  Even James can’t contain the snort at how surprised the baby is about that.  “Okay, the first thing that’s going to have to happen, is you’re going to need a bath.”  Getting a very serious look, Steve slaps his hands down on the tray causing food to go in several different directions.  “Yep, still an asshole.”  

Here’s the problem with trying to bath a baby like Steve, first you have to catch him.  James made the beginner’s error of letting him out of the high chair before getting the bath ready.  Steve took off like a shot, leaving James calmly trying to find a pan to heat water in.  One thing that he does remember is that there’s no bathroom in these apartments, so Steve’s going to have a bath in the kitchen sink.  

Looking up, James immediately realizes his mistake and goes in search of the kid.  It’s only after checking all the rooms and still not finding him that James starts to panic.  “Jesus, I lost the kid.”  Then he hears the laughing from behind the chair.  Going over, Steve’s crouched down, still grinning, and when he sees James, he throws himself into the assassin’s arms.  “Swear to god, I don’t know how Ms. Sarah did this alone.”    

“Buby ‘tay.”  

“Yeah kid, Bucky stay.  Not like Bucky has a choice.”  He gets the water heated, fills the sink with cold water and adds the hot slowly while checking the temperature.  Once it’s right, he strips Steve and sits him in the sink and wouldn’t you know it, he immediately starts splashing water.  “Cut it out, Steve.”  

Steve locks eyes with Bucky then with a slow, calculated smile spreading across his little face, he slaps his hand in the water, never breaking eye contact with the assassin.  “I’ll say it again, you were born an asshole.”  Suddenly, Steve’s little hands are splashing away again while he squeals in joy.  “Fine, you do you and I’ll clean up from dinner.”  

Ms. Sarah didn’t have to invite him in, she didn’t have to treat him like a decent person, and she didn’t have to feed him.  Okay, so maybe she didn’t have to leave him in charge of the hell child, but it’s the least he can do for her.  He has a feeling, not a memory so much, that she works herself to the bone and never asks for anything in return, so he’s going to do his part until he can figure out how to get home.  He gets the kitchen straightened up, minus washing the dishes, which he’ll do when Steve is finished creating rain indoors.  

Turning, he sees Steve watching a bubble.  It’s creating a rainbow and Steve looks at it with a scrunched up look on his face.  Looking up, he sees Bucky watching him and smiles, but not that, ‘I’m going to fuck with you’ smile, but that kind of smile that all little kids get when they see something new.  “Buby ‘ook.”  

Going to the sink, Bucky pulls a chair over and sits with the baby.  “Yeah buddy, I see.  It’s a rainbow.”  

“’ainboo?”  Scooping some of the bubbles into his hand, Bucky holds them so the light from the kitchen window hits them.  Steve claps his hands together and Bucky blows the bubbles into his face.  He scrunches up his nose and snorts.  Bucky can’t help laughing.  

“Alright, let’s get you cleaned up and out of the sink.  I have dishes to wash.”  Little Steve stands up in the sink after he’s been washed and Bucky lifts him from the sink.  Turning to reach the towel on the table, he goes to scoop up…nothing.  “Oh for god sakes!  Steven Grant Rogers!  Where the hell did you go?”  

There’s giggling all the way down the hallway and into the bedroom.  Bucky chases after him trying to catch the little hellion before he gets too cold and catches his death.  Swinging Steve up into his arms, his little angelic face looks up at him with such acceptance.  Reaching up, he lays a tiny hand against Bucky’s cheek.  “Buby.”  

Once dried and into pajamas, Bucky looks at the mess in the kitchen and decides it’s time to get down to business.  Undoing the buckles and straps of his body armor, he puts it on the chair by the window.  Looking around, he starts stripping weapons and goes over to the shelf to put them as far back on the top as he can.  Steve sits with his thumb in his mouth, watching intently.  Once all nine weapons are up high enough that Steve can’t get to them, Bucky turns.  The undershirt he’s wearing stretches across his chest when he bends down to look Steve in the eyes.  “Those are a no-no.”  Steve just smiles around his thumb.  

His almost white, blond hair is drying and sticking up in wispy strands.  Bucky starts washing the dishes and mumbling to himself.  Once the dishes are done, he starts wiping down all the water that Steve slashed around while in the sink.  Suddenly, Bucky stops.  It’s quiet.  It’s too quiet.  Drying his hands, he heads into the living room and Steve, the little monkey, is halfway up the shelf.  “What do you think you’re doing?”  

Steve jumps and if not for Bucky’s quick reflexes, the baby would have hit the floor.  As it is, he lands in Bucky’s arms.  The assassin sits up as fast as possible to check Steve over and make sure he’s not hurt.  Instead of crying, like most kids would have, he starts to laugh.  Big, belly laughs.  “Buby ges me.”  

Hugging the kid close, Bucky starts to breathe again.  “That’s right, Stevie, Buby got you.”  

Doing a thorough search, Bucky only finds one children’s book and sits with Steve on the sofa.  The little guy had gone into the bedroom and pulled a blanket from his cot and dragged it back into the living room and crawling back into Bucky’s lap.  Popping his thumb back into his mouth, he leans back to get comfortable.  Opening the book, Bucky starts reading.  

It doesn’t take long for Steve to get sleepy, but when Bucky tries to get up, the baby starts to whine.  “Okay, okay.”  He turns Steve in his arms and the baby gets comfortable and starts to drift off again.  The last thing Bucky remembers is thinking he’ll get up in a minute and put Steve down.  

Sarah comes home as the sun starts to come up, exhausted and ready to sleep.  Bucky wakes as she comes through the door.  Hanging her coat up, she looks over and Bucky quirks an awkward smile.  Steve is sleeping soundly on top of his chest.  “And why dinna ya put him in his cot?”  

“Every time I tried he cried.”  She rolls her eyes and goes into the kitchen.  Bucky hears her fill the kettle with water.  

She comes back, leaning on the door frame.  “How long are ya stayin, Bucky?”  

Closing his eyes, he takes a deep breath.  “Ma’am, I don’t know.  I assume my…friends…are trying to figure out how to undo what happened.”  

Nodding she goes in to get her tea.  Coming back, she’s carrying two cups.  Bucky sits up on the sofa and Steve snuggles in closer and makes a slight wheezing sound when he breathes.   Bucky’s eyes shoot down and he starts to feel like he’s going to panic.  Sarah waves it off.  “There’s the sound he makes when he sleeps and the sound he makes when he’s sick.  That’s the sleeping sound.”  

Off-handed, Bucky replies.  “I guess I never learned the difference.  A wheeze was a wheeze.”  Realizing what he said, he cuts his eyes over to Sarah.  She’s just smirking.  “You…somehow you…know.”  

“If ya mean that I know you aren’t from around here, yes dear, I know.”  Bucky narrows his eyes.  Sarah sighs.  “Mrs. Papadakis told me I’d be havin a visitor.  That I was to care for ya until you went home.  Your clothes tell me that ya dunna belong in our time.”  She gets up and heads to her room.  “Your hair tells me ya have no style, that arm tells me ya have a past.”  

Bucky snorts and Steve shifts again, burrowing further into Bucky’s chest.  “I’d take you to the park if I wouldn’t stick out like a sore thumb.”  

“Speakin of,” Bucky turns to see Sarah with a dark grey suit and a hat.  “I think this might fit ya.  Belonged to my Joseph and he’d want ya to have it.”  The wheels in Bucky’s head start turning.  He knows the name, he’s sure of it, then it comes to him.  Steve’s father.  “You’ll have to go down the hall to bath, but if ya really want to get out later, you’ll need this.”  She goes to fix breakfast and Steve slowly wakes, waddling into the kitchen to be cuddled by his ma.  She coos at him and Steve snuggles into her neck.  Bucky wonders if his family was like this, if they had as much physical contact as Sarah and Steve seem to.  

Sarah gets Steve ready for the day and Bucky goes to bath.  Everyone else is already out of the building because they work, so he has time to make sure that no one sees him.  He comes back half dressed and Sarah looks at his hair.  “What?”  

Shaking her head, she goes to get her scissors and pulls him into the kitchen.  “I’m going to give ya a proper hair cut or someone will notice.  I’ve already laid out a coat and gloves for ya.”  She reaches over tapping his metal arm.  “That isn’t as easy to deal with as your hair.”  

He looks like a completely different man now, as he walks the streets of Brooklyn.  Joseph Rogers suit fits almost perfect and the gloves keep anyone from looking too closely.  In his arms, Steve is looking around at everything and pointing at things.  They have him bundled up and Bucky has to admit, the little hellion is cute at a button.  “Buby, ook.”  

Bucky sees a child walking with her hand in her mother’s carrying a balloon.  “I see that.”  The park is just down the street and when they get there, Bucky sits and lets Steve run around in the grass.  He’s so happy.  Not at all like the man in the future who seems to be frowning all the time.  Steve picks up a leaf that changed into a brilliant red and runs over to Bucky.  

There’s a woman on the other bench watching him and Steve.  The hair on the back of Bucky’s neck stands up like it does anytime anyone watches too closely.  “ook.”  

“That’s red.  Can you say red, Stevie?”  Steve nods, but doesn’t say anything and runs off again.  They don’t stay much longer because Bucky is afraid that too much of the cool weather will be bad for the baby.  As they make their way back Bucky notices a few things around the neighborhood.  Things that he files away for later.  

By the time they’re back at the apartment, Sarah is up and fixing lunch.  She watches the way that Bucky seems to be more attentive to Steve, not like he’s trying to get away from him anymore.  Bucky seems to be enjoying their time together.  Each morning, while Sarah sleeps, Bucky takes Steve out.  The least he can do is give Sarah quiet to sleep and solid hours of it instead of a few here and there when Steve naps.  Every day that they go out, Bucky watches the people in the neighborhood and makes note of the same group of men that don’t seem to be up to anything good.  

The fourth night there, as Sarah puts Steve down she can tell that Bucky is up to something.  She comes out of the bedroom and finds him in his uniform.  “Where are ya goin, Bucky?”  He’s picking up his mask and goggles after having gotten all of his weapons back on his body.  

“I have something I need to check out.  I won’t be out long.”  She just nods and he leaves the apartment as quiet as a ghost through the window.  On the street, he watches again and sees what he’s looking for.  The group of men he noticed days ago are casing one of the businesses.  He has a flash of running into that store with someone else, probably Steve, and the man behind the counter giving them each a candy bar.  He can’t remember the man’s name, but he remembers him being nice.  

From the building across the street, he watches as the men make their way to the front of the store.  One thing Bucky is sure of, they’ve never seen anything like him.  Criminals in 1921 make too much noise and carry themselves like they don’t have to be wary.  They bust in the front door of the store and head in.  It doesn’t take long for Bucky to figure out that they’re ransacking the place.  Leaving the safety of the rooftop, he makes his way into the store.  They’re so oblivious and noisy that they don’t see him coming.  

The light from the stairs at the back comes on and a man comes into the store with a baseball bat.  He sees the men, who at this point haven’t done much damage.  “Get the hell out of here!”  

The man in charge, or thinks he’s in charge, grins at the old man.  “You were warned that if you didn’t pay, we’d be back.”  He starts towards the old man, who raises the bat.  “It’s for your own protection, Pops.”  

“Protection my ass.  It’s extortion.”  The men laugh and that’s when Bucky strikes the first one in the back of the head with the butt of his gun and grabs a second one with his metal hand and flips the guy over his shoulder.  The guys head smacks into the door frame and he’s out too.    

The Winter Soldier stands in the open doorway and the old man with the bat looks terrified.  His voice is muffled from the mask he wears, but they all hear him.  “You’re going to take this ridiculous crew and get the hell out of here.  You’ve got one chance to walk away.”  

The younger guy, laughs.  “And you think you can take on all five of us, you freak?”  

“It’s actually three now.”  Two others come at him and Bucky flips over them, coming from behind and stabbing both in their shoulders.  They go down and Bucky pulls his knives out of them, spinning them in his fingers and re-sheathing them.  Turning back to the last one in a crouch, he pulls a gun and shoots him in the leg.  Using his metal arm and grabs the guy around the throat.  “This is what you’re going to do, first you’re going to tell me who your boss is because I know it ain’t you, then you’re going to walk away and go back to your boss and tell him that I’m coming for him.”  

The old man lowers the bat.  “I’ll be damned.  You’re like a superhero.”  

Bucky snorts.  “I’m far from it.”  Looking back at the guy in his grip, Bucky sees absolute fear.  “Your boss is going to leave this neighborhood because if he doesn’t I’ll take everyone down one by one.  Now, who is your boss?”  

The man is shaking.  “I…I can’t...he’ll kill me.”  

Bucky shrugs.  “Or you can leave here and run very, very far away and never bother this man again.”  

The guy is shaking.  “Max McDoogal.  He runs everything in this neighborhood.”  Bucky drops the guy and watches him limp for the door.  “He’ll kill you.”  

Bucky looks back at the guy.  “Many have tried, none of them succeed.”  The guys gone after that and Bucky turns back to the owner of the store.  

“Son, I don’t know what you are, but thank you.”  He drops the bat to the floor.  “They would have destroyed everything my father worked to build if not for you.”  He pats Bucky’s shoulder.  “McDoogal will come after you though, so you might want to get out of town.”  

“Sir, I never run from a fight.”  Those words seem to ring in Bucky’s ears, he remembers Steve telling him the same thing a long time ago.  

“Well, let me give you something to say thanks and then I’ll call the police to help with all this.”  He waves his hand around to indicate the men on the floor.  Bucky tries to argue, but the man seems determined that it is necessary.  When he offers Bucky ten dollars from the till, he really starts to argue, but then thinks of Sarah.    

“Would you mind if I got a few things for a friend?”  The man grins.  

“I’ll keep a running tally as you get things.  When you reach ten, I’ll let you know.”  What’s surprising to Bucky is how much he can actually get for that ten.  By the time he’s done, he’s got bags and bags of groceries and a little something extra for Steve.  The man smiles as Bucky leaves knowing that whoever the guy in black is, he’s going to keep the neighborhood safe as long as he’s here.  

Bucky arrives back at the apartment on the fire escape and sneaks in so not to wake Sarah and Steve.  He goes into the kitchen and puts everything away hoping that she won’t put up too much of a fuss about it.  He wakes the following morning on the sofa to her staring down at him.  “Tell me ya dinna steal any of this.”  

He sits up, rubbing his face.  “No ma’am.”  

“And tell me why the building is in an uproar about a man in black protecting Harrison’s store last night.”  She’s got a smirk and Bucky looks down embarrassed.  “I see, so you’re gonna be our avenging angel now.”  

Steve runs into the room and throws himself into Bucky’s arms.  Catching his tiny body, Bucky stands.  “Buby.”  Steve cuddles into his embrace and Bucky can’t help holding him a little closer.  

“I got you something, buddy.”  He goes to the table by the window and picks up the little journal and crayons.  “Now you can draw your Ma a picture.”  Steve looks at it in awe and when Bucky looks over, Sarah is misty eyed.  

“Thank you, Bucky.”  She comes over.  “Stevie, can you say thank you?”  

Steve looks up at Bucky and smiles so wide his tiny, little face doesn’t contain it.  “’ank oo, Buby.”  

Steve spends the day coloring and babbling about what he’s coloring.  Sarah leaves about mid-afternoon to head to work.  Around six there’s a knock on the door.  Bucky freezes and Steve looks up.  Getting up from the floor, he runs to Bucky who sweeps him into his arms.  “Miss Sarah?”  Bucky doesn’t know the voice and Steve buries his head in Bucky’s neck.  Whoever this is, Steve doesn’t like her and that just won’t do.  Bucky get the glove from the pocket of Joseph’s jacket, putting it on, and swings the open.  

She looks him up and down in an exceptionally judgmental way.  He’s impresses that she can look at him with judgment and still look at him like she wants to eat him.  “Yes?”  

“Well, aren’t you a handsome stranger?”  She leans against the doorframe trying to be enticing.  It isn’t working even though Bucky knows she’s pretty enough.  She just doesn’t hold any appeal for him.  

“Can I help you, ma’am?”  She bats her eyes at him and he very nearly rolls his.  Steve burrows deeper into his embrace.  “It’s alright, Stevie.”  

“Well, he does seem to like you and Sarah seems to have gotten over her haughty ideas that she doesn’t need a man.  Although, I haven’t seen you leavin in the mornings for work?”  Bucky’s sure he’s suffering from whiplash at how quickly she changes subjects.  

“Ma’am, I’m not sure any of what you just said is any of your business.”  That stops the smirk on her face.  

“We’re all family here in this building, so we share everything.”  She tries to push forward to come in, but Bucky doesn’t budge.  If Steve’s reaction is anything it tells him that they are most certainly not family.  

“I’m sure that’s an over-exaggeration on your part, ma’am.”  She scoffs.  “Now, is there something you needed are or you just here to insult Miss Sarah?”  

“I’ve seen her going to work and didn’t know who was taking care of this little angel.”  Bucky leans in and kisses Steve’s head.  Steve squirms closer to Bucky when the woman reaches out to pat his back.  

“Well that would be me, so if you don’t mind, Stevie and I were busy coloring.”  She pushes into his space, putting her breasts on his arm.  

“Would you like some company?”  Bucky steps back and she thinks that he’s going to invite her in, but instead slams the door in her face.  

“Alright, Little Man, what were we up to?”  Steve wiggles out of his arms and runs back over to color.  Bucky watches him smiling and can’t remember the last time he smiled around Steve.  

Bucky’s up fixing breakfast when Sarah gets home.  Steve is still sleeping because he didn’t want to go to bed the night before until he’d finished a picture for Bucky.  It turned out to be a heart, or something that sort of resembled a heart, and Bucky found himself praising the baby.  The longer he stays here the more he sees how strong and fierce Steve really is.  He may be small for his age, but he has an iron will that definitely came from his mother.  But more than that, he sees himself as...human.  

Unfortunately, when Sarah goes to change before eating, she comes running into the kitchen, pulling a bottle from the cabinet and a pot from the stove.  Running water in it, she puts it back on the stove, lighting it and adding some of the liquid from the bottle.  Something flashes in Bucky’s mind, he remembers this.  Running to the bedroom, Steve is wheezing in his sleep and Bucky scoops him into his arms and grabs a towel from the hall closet.  

Steve wakes, whining and starts to cough.  “Son of a bitch!”  This is what real fear feels like and Bucky hasn’t felt this since the chair.  Sarah watches as Bucky sits down in the chair with Steve in his lap.  As the baby starts to cry, Bucky rocks him back and forth.  “It’s going to be okay.  I swear you’re going to be okay.”  

Once the pot comes to a boil, Sarah puts it on the table and they cover Steve’s head with the towel so he can breathe in the medicine in the water.  Sarah watches as Bucky holds him and Little Steve whines, but breathes like he knows he supposed to.  “I should have expected this.”  Bucky looks up confused.  “I came out of the hospital this mornin and it was too cool.”  

Bucky doesn’t notice weather much anymore because it doesn’t affect him, but like a dam opening, he remembers Steve getting sick anytime the weather changed.  “Do you have other medicine for him?”  

She wrings her hands and he knows that means no.  Probably because of money.  “I’ll see what I can…”  

“No, don’t.  I’ll take care of it.”  She starts to argue.  “It’s not charity Miss Sarah, it’s family.  Right?”  She purses her lips, but nods.  “You made me family the minute you opened that window.  Now, I get to do something to help people that I…that mean something to me.”  She works on a light broth that Steve can drink and she goes to bed with Steve in her arms.  

“We’ll be sleepin for awhile, so you do what you need to do.”   He closes the door to the bedroom and gears up.  Arming himself with everything he’s got and putting the mask and goggles on, he heads to the window.  The day is grey and rainy, but again, it doesn’t really bother him and it keeps prying eyes from possibly seeing him.  Making his way across the roofs, he makes it to Harrison’s store and drops down in the alley.  

Knocking on the alley door, a younger man opens it, seeing the man in black, the one that saved his father, he smiles.  “Anything you need.  Name it.”  

“I need to know where to find McDoogal.”  The man comes out of the store and into the alley.  Closing the door and looks around like he’s afraid someone will overhear.  

“You didn’t hear it from me, but he and his crew run out of a warehouse on the waterfront.  Use to be a meat packing place before the recession.”  Bucky nods and heads back up to the roof.  “You need anything else?”  

Bucky sighs and looks down at the young man.  “Yeah, if you know of a doctor, a good doctor, I’ll come back for the name.”  The young man nods.  

“You got it.”  Bucky watches him disappear back into the store.  

There’s no way in hell Bucky is going to let Steve suffer if he can do something about it and the McDoogal asshole probably has money in that warehouse.  For a week he’s lived with Sarah and Steve and in that week he’s come to appreciate what Sarah goes through just to live.  Being a single mother and no desire to introduce romance into her life, she’s looked on as peculiar.  She has no friends and makes a point to keep to herself.  She protects and loves Steve with a fierceness that Bucky can appreciate because he’s starting to feel that way about the two of them.  Telling Sarah that family takes care of each other isn’t far from Bucky’s new truth.  

When he reaches the warehouse, he knows it’s right because the men guarding it look like something out of old Hollywood.  That irony makes Bucky chuckle.  “Jesus, these guys couldn’t be original if they tried.”  There’s two on the roof, six by the entrance.  Those are easy, but he needs to know how many are inside.  Once on the roof, the first guy goes down and never knows what hit him.  The second guy sees the Winter Soldier, but only because Bucky wants him to and doesn’t get the chance to even pull his gun.  

“What are you?”  Bucky’s got him around the neck.  

“Something you wouldn’t understand.”  These guys are about power, control and creating fear and Bucky’s seen enough of that to last three lifetimes.  He takes the guns from both unconscious men and crushes them, leaving them in a trash heap.  The six by the door go down one by one and no one sees anything.  He stows the bodies in a truck around the corner.  Once that’s done, he goes back to the roof and watches through the skylight.  Fifteen guys inside and he’s guessing that the one sitting at the desk is McDoogal.  

He checks his three guns and all of them are loaded.  Jumping through the skylight he starts firing while all of them are confused.  The men inside have ridiculous machine guns, but none of them get a shot off.  He feels no sympathy for people that feed off of good honest people. He was that man once and he’s not going to let that touch Sarah and Steve’s neighborhood. The man behind the desk pulls a revolver and Bucky shoots it out of his hand.  “You’re real.”  

“Obviously.”  Getting to the desk, he holds the gun to McDoogal’s head.  “We’re going to do this the easy way because I don’t have the time or patience for anything else.  You’re going to give me everything you’ve taken from the innocent people in this neighborhood and never try to extort money from anyone again, or I’m going to kill you and everyone you know.”  

“I thought you were a good guy.”  McDoogal looks up and Bucky can tell he’s looking for a way out.  “We can work together if the money is what you want.”  

Bucky points the gun at the guy’s leg and fires.  He howls in pain and the gun comes back to his head.  “Not hardly.  Now, where’s the money?”  McDoogal points at a large safe, already open.  “I don’t really need you anymore.”  

“Wait, wait, I can help you.”  

“Better men that you have tried to help me.”  Bucky goes to the safe and picks up three bags nearby.  He fills them and listens to everything in the warehouse.  The rain echoes on the roof, McDoogal is wheezing in pain, and something else.  Turning, Bucky fires at the noise and a man goes down.  He sweeps his gun towards the man at the desk again.  “Dumb, really dumb.”  

“You just shot a cop.”  

“No, I just shot a cop on the take.  Dirty cops are no better than you.”  He goes back to the safe and fills the rest of the bags, leaving nothing behind.  Throwing them over his shoulder, he goes back to McDoogal.  “So, what’s it going to be, you and all of your family dead or finding somewhere else to do your business.”  

“I…I…I can find a new neighborhood.”  

“Good because this one belongs to the Winter Soldier.”  He leaves and hopes that even if he does get to go home, the fear will remain and gangs will stay out of this neighborhood.  It would have been simpler if he could have killed all of them, but at least no one will try to follow.    

Making his way back to Harrison’s he goes through the front door this time.  The few people that are there, scurry out.  Bucky puts the bags on the cash stand.  Opening the bags, he pulls out a stack of ten dollar bills and puts them in his pocket.  “There’s a ledger that tells where all this money goes.  I need you and your son to make sure these people get back what’s theirs.”    

The son comes over and hands Bucky a paper with an address and name.  “This is the doctor.”  Bucky nods and heads for the door.  

“Why bring this to me?”  Harrison looks at Bucky strangely.  

“Because you gave a little boy a candy bar once for no other reason than you’re a good man.”  With that, he leaves and heads to the doctor’s address.  

Slipping into the doctor’s house is easier than Bucky thought it would be.  He finds the man in the kitchen warming soup.  “Dr. Phillips?”  

The man spins around and throws his hands into the air.  “I don’t have anything here.”  

Bucky shakes his head.  “No, I want to pay you to come and look at a friend’s little boy.  He’s not doing well and needs help, but she can’t afford it.  I can.”  

Phillips is probably in his mid-fifties and looks at Bucky incredulously.  “Let me get my bag.”  He gets his coat and hat.  “Is there a reason that you wear the mask and goggles?”  

“Because if someone sees my face, the people I care about could be hurt.”  Phillips looks up at him and nods.  

“Let’s go, young man.”  Steve and Sarah are awake when Bucky gets Phillips to the building and tells him what apartment.  He shoves two tens into the man’s hands.  

“Please take care of him.  He’s really special.”  The doctor nods and heads into the building.  Bucky goes to the roof, silently climbs down the fire escape, and waits.  Phillips is there for almost an hour, but by the time he’s done, he tells Sarah what Steve needs.  Bucky changes and goes to a drug store nearby and gets everything that’s required.    

He’s back at the apartment before long and comes through the door to a weak, shaky voice calling, “Buby.”  Handing the bag of medications over to Sarah, Bucky goes to the bedroom to strip and put pajamas and a robe that Sarah gave him to use.  Coming back in, he takes Steve from her and lets the little guy snuggle with him on the sofa.  

“What did ya do, Bucky?”  

“I took care of family, Sarah.”  She just nods and goes to get water for Steve.  

Sarah takes the night off from work, even though Bucky tells her he’s can take care of the baby, but she’s a mother and can’t leave him.  She does go back the next night and works all of her shifts because Bucky not only is good with Steve, but it allows her to make the money she needs.  By the time her next night off comes around, Steve is still sick, but his fever isn’t as high and his breathing is a little better.  

It’s been four days of watching Steve like a hawk and Bucky lays on the sofa with the little guy on his chest, patting the baby’s back as he makes little snoring noises in his sleep.  Sarah sits by the window watching the rain, sipping on a cup of tea.  There’s a knock on the door, startling both of them.  Steve’s lying on his good ear so he doesn’t hear anything.  

Sarah gets up, smiling down at Bucky as she passes.  There’s a woman on the other side looking frantic.  “Miss Sarah?  Sarah Rogers?”  

“I am.”  She guides the young woman inside.  

“I’m sorry, I know how late it is, but Mrs. Barnes is having some trouble.”  Bucky perks up at that, but doesn’t outwardly show his interest.  

“What kinda trouble are ya talkin about?”  The woman is wringing her hands.  

“She’s in labor and we don’t have money to get her to the hospital, her husband’s working the night shift at the docks, and I just don’t know what to do.”  She’s sobbing now and Sarah pulls her into a hug.  Looking over at Bucky, he nods for her to go.  

“Alright, alright, it’s all gonna be okay.  Let me get my coat and bag and we’ll go take care of it.”  She goes to Bucky and pats Steve’s back.  “He’s due for more medicine when he wakes up, I dunna know when I’ll be back.”  

“Go, we’ll be fine here.”   Steve wakes later and Bucky gets up to get the medicine.  When he comes back Steve’s sitting on the sofa, little arms crossed over his thin chest and his mouth clinched shut.   
“Really, Stevie.”  An idea comes to him.  “If you take your medicine until you’re better, I’ll buy you some ice cream.” 

His mouth flies open, but he does a little shiver when the medicine goes down.  “Buby, uuky.”  

“I know, pal, but you did so good taking it.”  Sitting next to the baby, he smiles down at him.  So much about this kid is still the guy that he knows in the future, but there’s also a carefree attitude that only a child can have and big Steve doesn’t have that anymore.  It’s sad really.  “Wanna cuddle more?”  Steve nods and Bucky lays back down and covers them with the blanket again.  Patting Steve’s tiny back, he shushes him when he starts to whimper.  “Everything’s okay, buddy.  Everything is going to be okay.”  

The following morning, Sarah comes in looking haggard and exhausted.  “That little one dinna want to come into this world.”   

Bucky looks up, heart pounding.  “Is she…she didn’t…”  

Sarah looks at him calculating.  “How did ya know it was a girl?”  

“I didn’t. Just assumed.”  Sarah hangs her coat.  

“Well, she’s fine, but it took some doin.”  Bucky breathes a sigh of relief.  He doesn’t know anything more than there is supposed to be a girl in the Barnes family.  “There was a little boy there too.  Biggest blue eyes I’ve ever seen.”  

Her voice drifts into the room from the kitchen and Bucky doesn’t realize it, but he’s smiling.  That little boy doesn’t know what his future will be.  Right now he’s just excited to have a baby sister.  Bucky envies that little boy.  Steve starts to wake a little later and with the ice cream agreement still firmly in place, he takes his medicine and does a breathing treatment.  Sarah sleeps most of the day.  When she leaves for work that night, Bucky watches Steve sleep on the sofa and picks up the little journal he got for him.  Sitting in the chair by the window, he opens it to the last page.  

Dear Stevie,  

I don’t know how long I’ll be here, but if I end up leaving I want you to know I didn’t want to leave you.  I don’t belong here though and I have to go home.  Don’t worry though, in a few years you’re going to meet a little boy that will be your best friend.  

Live a good life, Steve.  Everything you ever wanted you’re going to get.  You’ll have friends and a group that you’ll call family.  Keep your chin up and never forget that people love you.  

Your friend,  

Buby  

When Sarah comes in the next morning, Bucky has Steve at the table eating a little rice cereal.  “Well now, he looks a lot better.”  Kissing the baby’s head, she goes to fix tea.  

“He’s had his medicine and breathing treatment already, so you can go to bed as soon as you’re ready.”  Smiling kindly at him she starts to speak when there’s a knock on the door.  Bucky stays around the corner so he can’t be seen because he doesn’t want the people in the building to have anything more to say against Sarah.  

Sarah stands frozen when she opens the door and the man there smiles.  “You Sarah Rogers?”  

Clearing her throat, she finally answers.  “I am.”  

“I’m George Barnes and I wanted to bring you this for helping my wife the other night.  It’s not much, but it’s a family recipe.”  Bucky can’t help himself when he hears the name and peeks around the corner to get a look at the man.  Until this moment he didn’t think too much about his family, but now that he’s heard the man’s voice, he needs to see him.    

It’s not good.  If Sarah is as observant as Bucky thinks she is, the woman is going to put this all together.  “There was no need to do this, but I thank you very much for it, Mr. Barnes.”  

“Oh no, please call me George.”  They talk for a few more minutes and then the man leaves.  Sarah comes back in the kitchen carrying a loaf of dark bread.  

“That was very kind of him.”  She sits the bread on the counter and looks over at Bucky.  “You’re going to need to explain all this now.”  

Bucky nods and goes to sit at the table next to Steve.  A little hand reaches over and pats Bucky’s arm in a way that’s comforting.  He lays his hand over the tiny one on his metal arm and can’t push aside the feeling that he’ll miss this.  It’s simple.  It’s becoming home.  Any longer and he’s sure that he isn’t going to want to leave.  It will be hard enough even now.  “My name is James Buchannan Barnes.”  He sees her eyes widen.  “Yeah, I was that little boy you saw.  In a few years you’ll meet Winifred Barnes again and that little boy and Stevie will become friends.  Best friends.”  

“Why dinna ya tell me this before?”  Bucky’s coming to the end of his second week of being here and doesn’t want her to think he was hiding it.  

“Because I thought if my…friends…found a way to bring me back, I wouldn’t have to.”  She nods, but stays quiet so he can go on.  Bucky looks over at Steve, who’s stopped eating and watching him closely.  Always with that calculating mind, even this young.  “I know how afraid you are for Steve, Sarah, but he’s going to be okay.  There will be close calls, but he’s going to become something you can’t even imagine.  He’s going to be good and decent.  Noble even.”  

“I’m not concerned about him right now, I’m concerned for you.  What are ya not telling me?  When are ya from, Bucky?”  That’s what he was hoping to avoid, but since she asks, he can’t lie to her.  

“I’m from 2018 and Steve is there too.”  She nearly drops her tea cup and he sees the question on her lips before she can voice it.  “We both had a period of time that we were…I’m not sure how to put this.”  

“Just say it.  Everythin ya say will never leave my lips.”  He nods and looks again at Steve.  His little eyes are puffy, his nose is red, and there’s still a wheeze in his chest.    

“He sacrificed himself to save the world, but instead of dying, he was frozen and woke up in the future.”  She looks over at her boy and smiles.  “He’s a hero, Sarah.  An honest to god hero.”  

“You must be too.”  Shaking his head because he knows better than that.  A hand lands on his other arm.  

“No, I’m working with him to try and make up for some things.  I’m not a hero, not like him.  But still stubborn as ever he doesn’t believe that.”  Sarah laughs and Bucky can’t help but smile at the sound.  The longer he’s here, the more he remembers.  The vague impressions from before have become clearer and now when he looks at Little Stevie, he can see his former friend.  “We aren’t close anymore.”  

“And why not?  If ya tell me that he’s not treatin ya nice, I’ll tan his hide.”  It’s Bucky’s turn to laugh.  

“No, it isn’t him.  Because of what happened…some things I did, I don’t remember or I didn’t.”  Steve leans over, laying his little blond head on Bucky’s arm in a show of comfort.  

“But ya do now?”  Bucky scrunches up his face.  

“Not exactly.  It’s more that I had these flashes of things, but never had a context for them.  Now I do.”  Steve rubs his face on Bucky’s shirt.  Leaning down, Bucky kisses his head.  “Part of me never wants to go back and part of me really needs to go back.”  

“Well, as long as you’re here, ya have a place to stay.  But I hope my son figures out how to get ya back where ya belong.”  Bucky nods, but isn’t sure why.  

“Sarah, what did you mean about knowing I was coming?”  He’s avoided asking since she brought it up over a week ago.  

“Ah, well, sometimes ya meet people that surprise ya.  A few months back a woman stopped me on the street, introduced herself.  I know of her and she has a reputation.”  Bucky has a flash again of someone from his childhood.  A woman with long dark hair with grey streaks, large brown eyes and a scarf keeping it neatly out of her face.  “She told me that when the rain came in early October a man would show up outside my window.  I was to bring him in and treat him like family.”  She shrugs.  “I come from the old country, Bucky and ya never ignore a seer.”  

“Well you have treated me like family.”  She gives him a brilliant smile.    

“Now, let’s have some of this bread.  I canna imagine your mother bein anything but a wonderful cook.”  Bucky chuckles and pulls Steve into his lap.  

“What do you think, Buddy?  You want some bread?”  Steve nods his head and Bucky hugs him close.  

It’s a week later and Sarah’s day off.  They’re lounging in the living room and Steve is feeling much better.  He’s standing by the bookcase and looking up at the top shelf.  “Don’t even think about it.”  Steve looks over at Bucky grinning and then runs into his arms.  “You’re part monkey.”  Sarah gets up to turn on the new radio.  Bucky couldn’t resist getting it when he saw it in Harrison’s Store.  He actually remembered it and not only that, but remembered it being in his and Steve’s apartment.    

Music fills the room.  

He’s been feeling off today and can’t really put his finger on what it is that’s under his skin.  It’s like his whole body went to sleep and it’s waking up slowly with a tingle under the skin.  It’s not painful, but he’s very aware of it.  Steve’s been calm today, mostly coloring, but will occasionally just climb into Bucky’s lap to sit there.  

Steve climbs down from Bucky’s lap and sits at the small coffee table, opening his journal.  “Buby?”  

“What is it, Buddy?”  He holds up the journal and looks at the picture.  Bucky’s accepted that Stevie’s pictures are going to be odd colors with no explanation.  It hits him between the eyes.  “He’s colorblind.”  He’d forgotten about that.  Steve can’t see what color he’s picking up.  He only knows dark and light.  “That’s why all of his sketches were in pencil later because he couldn’t see colors.”  He remembers the day in the park and the red leaf and how Steve wouldn’t say the color.  It makes Bucky think about his first night here and how Steve had looked at the bubble, but seemed confused by the word ‘rainbow.’  

Sarah looks up.  “Does he overcome that?”  It’s the first time she’s asked about anything to do with the future her son has.  

“Sarah, he no longer has any ailments.  Everything that he suffered through as a kid is gone.”  She beams at him with tears in her eyes.  “He really is an amazing man.  You were…are a good mother.”  She doesn’t respond, but nods trying to hide the tears.   

Getting up, Bucky goes to start some lunch for them when the feeling intensifies in his legs.  It doesn’t take long for him to put two and two together and come up with angry sorcerer guy and the feeling from the green ball of energy.  Sarah stands, scooping Stevie into her arms.  “Bucky, what’s happening?”  

“Sarah, I need my uniform.”  She gets it from the hall closet.  Grabbing a bag he goes to the shelf and puts all of his weapons inside.  He takes the uniform from her and kisses her cheek, then leans in to kiss Stevie.  “I’m sorry, I didn’t know it would happen like this.  The extra money is in the jacket pocket of the suit.  Use it and take care of yourself and Steve.”  He feels tears well up in his eyes and she has matching ones.  

“We love you, Bucky.”  Steve starts to reach out as he begins to fade in front of their eyes.  

“Buby…”  Steve’s little hands start reaching out as he tries to launch himself into Bucky’s arms, but Sarah holds him firmly in hers.  

“I love you both.”    

The last thing he sees is Steve’s bright blue eyes full of tears and the last thing he hears is the cries of, “Buby…Buby nooooo…”  

When he becomes solid again, he crumbles to the floor of Tony’s lab, sobbing.  Through his crying he can hear himself saying, “Stevie…I’m sorry, Stevie…”  

Arms gather him up and Bucky clings to whoever it is and when he hears the voice, he manages to look up into blue eyes.  “I’m here, Buck.  I’m right here.”  

It takes time to pull himself together and register that Steve just called him ‘Buck’ for the first time in a long while.  He misses that little voice saying ‘Buby,’ but it softens the blow a little.  Tony doesn’t bother them for a time, but finally gets the chance to run scans and see if there are any last effects.  Finding none, Steve walks him back to his floor watching him and Bucky is sure he wants to ask, but refrains.  The elevator stops and Bucky steps out into the cold, impersonal, sterile apartment.  He slumps his shoulders.  “Thanks for seeing me…home.”  Suddenly, it doesn’t feel like home.  

“If you want to talk about it, I’m here.”  Bucky nods and Steve disappears behind the elevator doors.  

Bucky knows the offer is real, but he just can’t talk about anything right now.  Going into the second bedroom he puts his uniform in the closet and drops the bag of weapons.  He doesn’t want to see any of that right now.  Heading into the master bedroom, he goes to the shower and stands under the water long enough to prune his skin.  Crawling in bed, he misses a lumpy sofa and the ‘not quite clear’ sound of a radio.    

A few days later Bucky gets up knowing what he wants to do, he just needs to pull everything together.  He’s been eating in his apartment and not socializing with the team.  JARVIS checks in on him and he’s sure that has something to do with Steve.  “JARVIS, can you find any apartments for sale on Sullivan?”  

The reply is almost instantaneous.  ‘Sergeant Barnes, there are four apartments on Sullivan currently available.’  

“Where on Sullivan?”  JARVIS starts to name them off, but the third one sticks out.  “I want to see that one.  The one in the 700 block.”  Sarah gave him a home when he didn’t think he had one anymore and Steve gave him an anchor.  Bucky’s convinced that Steve was key in all of this, but he has no proof.  How does he explain to anyone that he believes that he could have been pulled to anytime and anywhere, but instead ended up where he did and returned to where Steve happened to be?  Steve’s always been his anchor, he just hasn’t let himself see that since coming to the Avengers.  

‘I will set up an appointment.’  The realtor offers to show it that afternoon, so Bucky showers and dresses, heading into Brooklyn.  

It’s not the same, of course it’s not, but it’s close enough and Bucky makes an offer in cash.  The realtor calls the owners and by that evening, he’s got a new home.  He signs the papers the next week.  The next step is to see Steve.  Bucky doesn’t remember all the things that Steve does about their past together, but he has these new memories and maybe that’s enough.    

After signing and getting the keys, he heads back to the Tower and to see his, hopefully, friend.  Steve is sitting next to the window, staring out at the setting sun.  Bucky stops just inside the apartment.  

“You’ve been keeping to yourself and I’ve tried to give you space since you came back from wherever, even before that really, but it’s been hard for me.”  Steve hasn’t turned to him, just keeps staring out the window as he talks.  “I had this idea that when you  first  came back, we’d be friends.  I know you can’t do that or be the guy that I remember.  I just wish I could help.”  

Bucky walks into the living area and starts looking around.  There are sketch pads on the coffee table and trinkets around on the shelves that he remembers now.  They’re mostly from Sarah’s apartment and he wonders how Steve got them.  “I think it was easier for me to put a wall between us because I didn’t remember the things you wanted me to.  Hell, I don’t think I wanted to remember.  It was easier that way.”  

Steve turns in the chair.  “We could have been friends anyway.”  

“Yeah, I guess we could have, but it seemed too hard.”  He walks over to the shelf and starts looking at the books to give himself something to do.  That’s when he sees it.  Tucked between two other journals.  Reaching up, he carefully slides it out and turns to the last page.  Steve watches him.  Turning to the blond man he sees that little boy again, but now, he sees something else.  “I can’t believe you kept it.”  

Steve’s eyes widen and he stands quickly.  “H-how did you…”  And the realization dawns on the super soldier.  “You…”  

“What do you remember?”  Bucky hopes more than he’s ever hoped that Steve has something concrete in his memory.  It was a very long time ago and he was so little.  

“Buby?”  It’s so different coming out in that deep voice, but also the same.  They neither one move, frozen in this delicate space.  “I remember feeling safe with him...you.  I remember Ma telling me stories about Buby.  I remember drawing…”  

Bucky reaches into his jacket pocket and pulls out a folded sheet of paper that he’s kept close since coming back.  Opening it, he holds it up for Steve to see.  “You drew me a heart.”  

Time seems to stand still and then Steve clumsily stumbles over to Bucky and throws his arms around the man’s shoulders.  Clinging to him and hoping that just for this moment, Bucky will allow this affection.  “I missed you after you left us.”  

Bucky’s arms slip around Steve’s waist.  “It was just a few weeks ago for me.  I felt it coming and I couldn’t…I wasn’t sure I wanted to come back here.”  

“I’m glad you did.  I thought I lost you…again.”  Steve pulls away and backs up.  “I know we aren’t friends anymore, but it still settles something in me to have you here.”    

Still holding the little journal in his hand, Bucky makes a decision.  “I have something I want to show you.”  They make the trip to Brooklyn and Bucky opens the door of his new apartment.  It’s one floor up from Sarah’s.  “This used to be the Foster’s place.  I don’t know if you remember them or not, but your Ma used to bang on the ceiling to get them to shut up.”  

“They finally moved out just before my 8 th  birthday.  Ma said good riddance.”  Bucky laughs at that.  “You bought this place.”  

“Yeah, I don’t know.  The Tower just doesn’t feel like home and even though this place is way better than it was in our day, it’s closer to…home.”  Steve turns and Bucky gives a shy smile.  

“You’ll be happy here, I think.”  Steve pats his shoulder.  “I’m happy for you.”  

Bucky rubs the back of his neck.  “There’s an extra room if you ever need a place to bed down.”  

Steve’s eyes light up, but he covers it quickly by going over to the windows to look out at the street.  “That’s nice of you, but I wouldn’t want to impose on your space.”  He leaves pretty quick after that and Bucky watches him hail a cab and drive away.  Something in him sinks through the floor.  He’s pushed Steve and now there may not be a way to get him back.  Shaking his head he realizes that he’s still holding the little journal and Steve didn’t even ask for it back.  Maybe he doesn’t want it now that he knows who Buby really was.  It would serve Bucky right if that was the case.  

Over the next few weeks, Bucky furnishes the apartment with things that are comfortable and brings what little he has from the Tower to fill the space too.  He orders an extra bed for the spare room just in case, but doesn’t have much hope that Steve will ever use it.  

They’re called away on a mission almost two months after Bucky returns and just like always, the team works well together.  This time they’re dealing with some kind of mutant frog in South America and Bucky is in his usual high perch watching everyone else’s backs.  He shakes his head because he can’t even figure out why some mad scientist would do this.  “Does it occur to anyone else that our jobs are ridiculous?”  

Barton snorts.  “Man if these crazy ass scientists ever stop doing this shit, we’ll be out of a job.”    

Natasha shakes her head and jumps down on top of one of them.  “And at least this time, they really are kinda harmless.”  

Famous last words when something shakes the trees to the far side of the river and something that Bucky’s going to call a dragon comes out of the trees.  It doesn’t have wings, but he won’t be surprised if it starts breathing fire.  “Well fuck.”  Steve looks over at her and she’s shrugging.  “Just couldn’t keep that to yourself could you?  You had to go and curse us.”  She winks at Cap and he rolls his eyes.  

Bucky can’t help the bark of laughter that bubbles out of him at Steve’s words.  They aren’t killing the frogs, so he fires at the one that Nat is sitting on and the tranquilizer dart hits it squarely in the back end.  

Steve goes down when the ‘dragon’ swishes its tail and gets Steve in the shoulder.  He hits the ground hard and doesn’t get back up.  Bucky’s out of his sniper’s nest while still firing at the thing.  He’s at Steve’s position before anyone else and pulls the man halfway into his lap while still pulling the trigger.    

Steve comes too as Bucky fires the last dart in the gun.  “Bucky?”  The ‘dragon’ goes down finally, and Bucky looks down at Steve.  

“Hey Buddy, good to have you back.”  Steve shakes his head and gets to his feet.    

The flight home is silent because the team doesn’t know what’s going on between the two men, but Bucky knows they all notice the way that he watches Cap.  Debrief goes on for more hours than it should and sometimes Bucky thinks that Fury does stuff like this just to remind them that he’s in charge.  As they finally head out, Bucky catches up with Steve.  “You should probably get checked out.”  

“Nah, I’m okay.  Just need to sleep it off.”  Bucky pulls him to a stop.  “What?”  

“I would feel better if you got checked out.”  It’s obvious by Steve’s face that he doesn’t know what to do with that.  

“I’m not that little kid anymore, Bu…”  The name dies on his lips and Bucky gets it now.  He understands Steve’s reluctance to accept that they can be friends again.   

He doesn’t know how to have that conversation, so he goes a different direction.  “How about a compromise?”  Steve looks down at the floor, but nods.  “Come home with me so I can keep an eye on you and I won’t push for you to see a doctor.”  

Giving a half shrug, Steve looks back up.  “Okay, but only if you answer one question.”  Bucky gives a nod.  “Why?”  

Bucky could play dumb, but he knows what Steve is asking.  “You kept telling me that we were friends, that we knew each other all our lives, but I didn’t have context for that.  Steve I didn’t remember and some things I still don’t remember, but I have context now.  I may not remember everything about your Ma, but I know her now.  I may not remember everything about our friendship, but I know who you were.”  Bucky smirks.  “And by the way, you were born an asshole.”  

Steve can’t help the chuckle from that.  “Alright then, I’ll grab a bag and we’ll head to your place, but the minute you want me gone, you tell me and I’m out.”  

They arrive back at Bucky’s and Steve stops inside the door.  The last time he was here, when he left the journal, it was empty space.  Now it’s filled with comfort and looks like a home.  Bucky knows he’s surprised.  He herds Steve towards the kitchen because he knows they’re both hungry.  “I’ve never shopped for furniture before, that I remember, so it was hard to figure it all out.”  He pulls meat and cheese from the fridge.  “Sit, I’ll make us something to eat and then you can shower and go to bed.”  

Steve nods and sits numbly at the table, still staring into the living room.  “It’s nice.  It looks like…home.”  Bucky didn’t choose anything for its sleek, modern appearance.  Everything he chose is for warmth and comfort.  

He hopes that’s what Steve feels.  “I went to that place…Ikea and that place is not for me.  Everything there is like…well…the Tower and I needed something different.”  He sits a plate in front of Steve with two sandwiches.  “Now, eat something so you can sleep better.”  

Steve looks down at the plate and for a second, it looks like he might cry.  Bucky sits next to him.  “I remember.”  

Bucky doesn’t touch him because that’s probably not welcome right now.  “What?  What do you remember?”  

Steve looks up, tears threatening to fall.  “You took me to the park.”  

Bucky smiles at that memory.  “I did.  You found a leaf.”  The conversation stops and Steve picks up the first sandwich and starts eating.    

Bucky goes to fix his own and sits down across from Steve.  “Each of the bedrooms has a bathroom attached and there’s everything you’ll need.”    

Steve doesn’t talk anymore, but does finish the food.  He picks up his bag and goes to the second bedroom and closes the door.  Bucky goes to his own bedroom and strips, taking a shower and getting comfortable.  This is all new for him, he’s never kept things around for comfort sake, but now makes sure that he enjoys his time at home.  Going back into the living room, he turns the radio on and tunes it to the station that plays the old music.  He does like some modern music, but tonight he needs to feel like he’s surrounded by a time long past.  He doesn’t turn the lights on and snuggles up in the chair by the window.  Pulling the blanket from the back he throws it over his legs.  

It’s winter now and even though he’s warm, he thinks about days gone and a little boy.  That little boy is now grown, now searching for a reason to trust Bucky again.  The bedroom door opens and Steve comes in wearing pajama pants and a tee, carrying the journal.  “You set this room up to be mine.”  

Bucky looks over, smiling softly.  “Yeah, I did.”  Steve comes in sitting on the sofa.  “I hoped, but didn’t really think you would, use it.”  

“Why?”  Steve stands again and glares at the radio.  Bucky has no idea what the radio did to offend Steve, but the glare stays.  “You don’t remember me, you just know…fuck Bucky!  I don’t even know what you know because you won’t talk about it.”  

“Then sit down and let me tell you what happened.”  Steve sits on the sofa again and Bucky looks out the window.  “The day of that battle, the angry sorcerer guy sent me back to October 1921.  I was on the same fire escape and you were right, it was your apartment.  Sarah, your Ma, opened the window and brought me in.  I lived with you and her for a little over three weeks.”  

Steve’s jaw is on the floor.  “Wait…so…you were really there, with Ma and me?”  

“Well yeah, Steve, I was there and you know that because I left a note for you in that journal.  It was eye opening to say the least.  Sarah Rogers was one hell of a lady.”  Steve looks down at the floor and chuckles.  Standing he sways on his feet and Bucky’s up and over to him, helping him stay on his feet.  “I told you that you needed to see a doctor.  You probably have a concussion.”  

“Yeah, but I’ve had them before and usually a good night sleep heals it.”  He’s still clutching the journal as Bucky helps him into the bedroom.  “I’m okay, Buck.”  

Bucky locks eyes with him and beams.  “I’d really appreciate it if you would call me that and not Winter.”  

Steve rolls over on the bed and Bucky pulls the quilt up over him.  “Yeah, I can do that.”  He’s still holding the journal in his hand as he drifts off.  

Bucky gets up the next morning and heads down the street to the bakery.  He found it the first morning he moved in, when the apartment didn’t have anything in it yet.  The couple that runs the place does a breakfast sandwich fit for a super-soldier.  Bucky orders six of them and four coffees.  Steve says he takes his black, but Bucky suspects that he’ll enjoy the sweet alternative considering he knows how much Little Steve enjoyed sweets, not that they had them often.  When he comes in the door, Steve is sitting in the chair by the window with the blanket over him and the little journal open in his hand.  “I didn’t expect you to be up, but I got ya some breakfast.”  

“Are you doin all this for me or that little boy you met?”  Steve doesn’t really look up, but Bucky knows that the blond is watching him through his lashes.  Bucky goes into the kitchen and comes back with a coffee and a plate with three sandwiches.  Handing it over, Steve sits the journal down and takes both.  Sipping at the coffee, Bucky watches his face light up as Steve takes another sip.  

“I’m doing this because you and that little boy are the same.”  He goes back into the kitchen and comes out with his own food.  Sitting on the sofa, he looks up at the bookshelf.  “I’m doing this because you’re the same little shit that tried to climb the bookcase and get to my weapons.  You’re the same little shit that waited for me to pull you out of the highchair covered in food, just so you could run off and make me look for you.  You’re the same little shit that fell asleep on my chest when you didn’t want me to put you in your cot.”  Bucky takes a bite and looks over at Steve.  “You’re the same little shit, Steve Rogers, and I was too stupid to know that until now.”  

There’s not talking for awhile and Steve finishes up his food and Bucky can see him trying to savor what’s left of the coffee.  “I don’t know what’s in this coffee, but I could drink this every day.”  

Bucky doesn’t look up from his plate, but knows the response that he’s going to get.  “There’s a second one in the kitchen for you.”  Steve jumps up and goes into the kitchen.  Coming back, he has both cups in his hands.  “Still like sweet stuff.”  Steve sits again, looking at Bucky.  “It was the only way I could get you to take your medicine.  I promised you ice cream if you took it like you were supposed to.”  

Steve unexpectedly barks a laugh.  “I wonder if Ma knew about that bargain.”  

Bucky shakes his head.  “NO, she did not.”  They both laugh at that idea.   

It’s been three days and Bucky wakes up, shuffling into the kitchen.  Steve’s door is still closed, so he doesn’t bother to worry.  Sleeping is the best thing for anyone that’s recovering from a head trauma.  Sure, Bucky knows that Steve was healed the first morning, but if they both want to milk this for everything they can get out of it, that’s okay too.    

Worry does come when it gets to ten and Steve still isn’t up.  Going to the door, Bucky gives a quiet knock.  There’s no response and his protective nature comes through and he throws the door open expecting to find Steve passed out on the floor, but instead he finds an empty room.  “oh.”  He thought they were doing better.  He thought things were taking a turn, but he must have been wrong.  

Needing to clear his head at this turn of events, he goes to his room and changes into clothes appropriate for running.  Out on the street he tries not to let all of it get to him, but Bucky is self-aware enough to know that he’s a little heartbroken about Steve leaving without even a goodbye.  He runs for hours, giving himself a mental pep talk about how to handle it the next time there’s a mission.  As he exits the elevator onto his floor, he stops in his tracks.  

Steve looks up from his place on the floor outside Bucky’s apartment.  “Jesus, whatcha do, run to Jersey?”  

The smile that breaks out on Bucky’s face is matched by the shit-eating grin on Steve’s.  “I thought…”  

Steve blushes and looks at the ground.  “You said the room was mine if I wanted it.”  He shoves at one of the four large duffels on the ground next to where he was sitting.  “If you don’t…”  

Bucky jumps in before Steve can finish that thought.  “No…I mean, yes!  It’s yours…of course it’s yours.”  He helps Steve with the bags and as they drop them into Steve’s room, Bucky turns and pulls him into a hug.  “I’m glad you’re here and giving me a chance to make up for being an asshole.”  

What happens after that is like something out of Bucky’s imagination.  That night they get in the kitchen together and cook dinner, which isn’t that big of a deal except that they haven’t done anything like that since before.  Bucky doesn’t remember it, but something about being in the kitchen, cooking with Steve seems familiar.  

The days go on this way.  They get up and run together, pushing and shoving at each other as they make their way around the park.  They stop in at the bakery and grab breakfast and coffee and leisurely make their way home.  The most fun is going to the grocery together and while Steve tries to put healthy things into the basket, Bucky tries to slip in things that feed his munchy attacks late at night.  

It’s on one such trip that Bucky is slipping a bag of Hersey’s Kisses into the basket and Steve’s frowning at him.  “Buck, we don’t need any more chocolate in the house.”  

“What home, that you know of, doesn’t need chocolate?”  Bucky’s trying to pull out the puppy eyes when there’s a giggle behind them.  

They turn to find a young girl, no more than 12, watching them with a bag of the same Hersey’s Kisses in her hand.  “My dads’ fight like that too.”  She pats Steve’s arm.  “You should just get the Kisses because he’s going to win anyway.”  With that she walks off.  

Bucky puts the Kisses back on the shelf.  Steve’s watching the girl as she turns the corner at the end of the aisle.  Without looking back at Bucky, he chuckles.  “Did she just accuse us of sounding like a married couple?”  

Bucky coughs and turns to go the other way.  “Yeah…so what’s next on the list?”  

Steve turns back as Bucky’s walking away and notices that the Kisses are back on the shelf.  Obviously, Bucky wants the candy, but the girls comment made him uncomfortable, so Steve reaches over, throwing the candy into the basket, grinning.  Steve catches up with him and Bucky looks down to see the Kisses in with the other food.  “We need to get some chicken because you promised me alfredo.”  

Bucky makes a turn to hit the butcher counter and looks up to see Steve still grinning.  “You really were born this way, weren’t you?”  

Steve doesn’t stop grinning, but adds in an innocent stare.  “Born what way?”  

“Still an asshole.”  Steve bubbles with laughter and follows Bucky to the meat counter.  

They’re sitting in a briefing for a mission and Fury is going on and on about the specs for the warehouse and Bucky is sure that Steve’s already figured out the best approach.  Even before their new ‘old’ friendship, he could appreciate that Steve is, in fact, a tactical genius, so Fury really has no need to keep droning on.  Reaching into this belt, he pulls out a Kiss and hands it over to Steve.  The blond takes it without looking, pulling the wrapper away and popping it into his mouth.  Bucky does the same and when he looks back up, Clint is staring daggers at him.  

Bucky pulls another one out and holds it up and Clint starts nodding vigorously.  Tossing it over the table to him, Clint snags it and starts to unwrap it.  Fury stops talking and when they all look up, he’s glaring at Bucky.  Bucky shrugs.  “What?  It’s a Kiss man.”  Steve kicks him under the table and Bucky goes to kick back, but Steve rolls away in his chair.  The whole room, with the exception of Fury, starts to chuckle.  

When they get on the jet, Steve starts going back over the plans and Bucky’s leaning right next to him.  “Here?”  Steve’s pointing at a crawl space in the building.  

“Uh uh…here.”  Steve nods and adds that to the tablet.  Steve’s a tactical genius, but Bucky knows sniping and the crawl space at the top is perfect for him and Clint.  

What they don’t expect is for the terrorists to have some kind of energy laser gun and when they figure out where Clint is, they fire towards his position.  Bucky yells the archer’s name and knocks him away from the blast.  Bucky goes down.  Clint fires an arrow that wraps around the assassin and keeps him from hitting the warehouse floor.  

The last thing that Bucky hears before passing out is Steve screaming his name.  Everything goes dark.  He wakes with Steve hovering over him and silence around them.  “Nononono...come on…I just got you back, you don’t get to leave me again.”  The desperation in Steve’s voice is new, at least it’s new to Bucky.  So, when he opens his eyes, Steve has tears on his face and looks like a man that been to hell and back again.    

As his eyes flutter closed again, he hears Thor.  “I was not aware that our Captain was so attached to our teammate.”  

Tony snorts.  “Teammate, yeah right.”    

He’s being carried bridal style and there’s a voice.  It’s giving orders to someone.  “He was hit with an energy beam of some kind.  We’re bringing the weapons back with us.  Have the medical team waiting, I don’t want him to have to wait any longer than necessary.”  There’s a pause.  “Sir, I don’t give a damn what you think, that team better be on the roof or I’m throwing you off of it.”  Steve…Steve has him and he’s safe.  

There’s a chuckle behind them.  “You know you just threatened Fury, right?”  

“Nat, it wasn’t a threat, it was a fact.”  Bucky passes out again and wakes a little later on the jet, but he’s still in Steve’s arms.  It’s nice.  If he had the ability Bucky’s eyes might fly open at that thought, instead he just loses consciousness again.  

He wakes for good on something soft and a beeping sound near his head.  Hospital, he’s in a hospital, probably in the Tower.  For a minute he doesn’t open his eyes because there’s an argument going on.  “Captain Rogers, you don’t threaten superior officers.”  

“Director Fury, you haven’t read my whole file then.  I’ve been threatening officers since I could talk!”  Bucky snorts at that and suddenly there’s a presence at his side.  “Buck?”  

“That’s the damn truth, Stevie.”  It’s a little slurred, but understandable.  Opening his eyes all the way, he can tell that Steve hasn’t slept and he’s still in his uniform.  “How long?”  Looking over to the side, he sees that his left arm is gone.  “Where’s…”  

“Ssssshhhhh, it’s okay.  The energy blast did something to the arm and Tony’s fixing it.  And it’s been three days.”  Steve looks exhausted with dark circles under his eyes.  

“Go home, Steve, shower and sleep.  Bring me back some clothes.”  Steve reaches down and takes his hand.  The look on his face is something Bucky’s never seen before.  

“I have some clothes here, I can shower here.”  Bucky tries to roll his eyes, but it doesn’t work out to well.  “I’m not going home until you come with me.”  

“Let’s go then.”  Steve might take him seriously, except he can’t really move yet.  He feels bruised all over.  “What the hell did they hit me with?”  

“Tony can tell you.  He’s been working on what those weapons were.  Why don’t you sleep more?”  Bucky closes his eyes and lets himself drift.  He could swear that he feels a kiss on his forehead as sleep takes him again.  

When he and Steve do return home, the mission was a week ago.  Steve pampers him and gets him anything he needs or wants.  That’s how they find themselves at opposite ends of the sofa, eating pizza and watching something on Netflix.  Bucky goes to grab another slice and looks over at Steve’s profile.  The only light in the room is from the TV and since coming back from Hydra, Bucky lets himself look at Steve.  He can see that little boy he met, but what really strikes him is…jesus…Bucky has a problem.  

How did he not see this?    

Steve looks over smiling.  “Bucky, you okay?”  

And no…no…he is very much not okay.  “Yeah, yeah, I’m good.”  He grabs the pizza slice and goes back to the TV, but instead of watching, he’s thinking about this new discovery.  He has a mental discussion with himself.  He has flashes of Steve before the serum, he knows how little he was back then, but did he think that Steve was so damn pretty he could cry?  Did he always think of Steve this way?  Instead of torturing himself, he grabs the remote and turns the TV off.  

“Hey!”  Steve turns to give Bucky hell, but sees the wide-eyed confusion.  “Hey, are you okay?”  

Bucky throws the pizza back in the box and sits up, turning towards Steve.  “Well no Steve, I’m not okay and I think I need to talk about it!”  

Steve moves the pizza box and slides down the sofa.  “Okay, okay, settle down and tell me what’s going on.”  

Bucky gets up and starts pacing around the living room.  He turns back to the sofa with an accusing glare.  “Steve, were we together back then?”  

“Well yeah, Bucky, you know we were friends and lived together after Ma died.”  All Bucky can think is, ‘bless his clueless soul.’  

“No you idiot!  Were we  together  together?”  Poor Steve looks like a deer in headlights over that question.  

“Nooo, we weren’t together like that.”  Steve stands, hands on his hips.  “Why would you ask that?”  

“Because I just looked over at you and thought you’re the prettiest damn thing I’ve ever seen and it’s kinda freakin me out!”  Bucky’s huffing out air faster than he can take it in.  

Steve chuckles and Bucky shoots another glare at him.  “Well hell Buck, I’ve always known how gorgeous you are.  I mean you just seem to get better looking every day.  It’s kinda unfair to the rest of us normal people.”  

Bucky barks a laugh.  “Normal…you ain’t been normal a day in your life.  And you have no idea how beautiful you really are which is really aggravating.”  

Steve stops and just looks at Bucky.  “You think I’m beautiful?”  

“Fuck Steve!  Really!?  Even when you were skin and bones you had that angel face!”  Bucky’s still yelling and Steve’s gotten very quiet.  

“You always thought I was beautiful?”  Bucky’s still on a roll and Steve’s just staring at him as he keeps pacing around.  

“I don’t have a lot of memories left, but just based off what I saw at the Smithsonian, yes Steve!  You’ve always been beaui…”  Realizing what he’s saying, Bucky stops mid-sentence and looks over at Steve.  

Steve’s across the room in three strides and cupping Bucky’s face gently.  “I’m gonna try something and you can slug me after.”  

Bucky nods dumbly and Steve leans in caressing his lips across Bucky’s before sealing the kiss.  And oh Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, Bucky likes this feeling.  Steve kisses like he does everything else, he throws himself into it with everything he’s got.  Bucky grabs hold and doesn’t let go.  When Steve raises his head, Bucky’s not sure he can see anymore.  “Holy shit!”  Steve’s lips come back and Bucky leans in, desperate for that feeling again.  It’s not open-mouthed, but still there’s something heated about it.  

Steve pulls away, then leans in again to give a quick peck.  Bucky looks up at him in awe.  “Why didn’t we do that before?”  

Steve kisses Bucky’s forehead.  “I didn’t know it was an option.  I didn’t think about you like that…I don’t think.  What does this mean?”  

Bucky looks into eyes that are suddenly unsure.  “It means that we get to do this now, if you want to.”    

Steve nods.  “Yeah, I’d really like that.”  They spend the next several hours on the couch, kissing and talking.  “Does this mean…I mean what are we?”  

Steve asks the question as they’re saying goodnight and Bucky knows what he’s being asked.  “How about this?  Tomorrow night we go out, on a date, and see if…”  

“See if we fit together like…like I hope we do?”  Bucky grins and reels Steve back in for another kiss.  

“Yeah, like that.”  

Bucky climbs in the shower the next evening.  Steve has made himself scarce all day, giving Bucky looks and occasional kisses before going back out.  All Bucky knows is that he’s to be ready by seven and if he times this right, he and Steve will be ready about the same time.  He isn’t expecting the knock on the front door just as he’s slipping his boots on.  Opening it, Steve’s standing there flowers in hand, grinning like a loon.  “Steve?  I thought you were in your room.”  

“Nope, I had to be sure to get here in time to pick up my date.”  Bucky can’t help the blush and curses himself because he’s a damn assassin and his…whatever Steve is…makes him blush like a school girl going to prom.  Steve hands over the flowers and kisses Bucky’s cheek.  “Put those in some water, we have a reservation.”  

Bucky goes into the kitchen and looks at the flowers, really looks at them, and is suddenly overwhelmed.  Going back to Steve, he pulls him in for a kiss.  “Thank you.”  They don’t have a vase, so Bucky puts the flowers in a pitcher and sits them on the table.  Steve offers his hand and they lock up.  

Dinner is good and they laugh about every day things.  As they walk home, Steve holding his hand, Bucky thinks that maybe this is where they would have ended up if they’d made it through the war.  Steve’s next words bring him back to the present.  “Bucky, why did you shut me out?”  

Bucky looks up at the sky and sighs.  “Because it was easier than letting you in.  I didn’t remember anything, but you did and I didn’t know how to be the guy that you remembered.  It was too hard to try.”  

“I never actually wanted you to be that guy that I remembered.  I just wanted you to be happy and safe.”  Bucky pulls their joined hands up and kisses Steve’s knuckles.  

“I understand that now and I’m sorry that I put you through that.”  Steve stops, pulling Bucky with him.  

“You hurt yourself as much as you hurt me, but can we agree not to do that again.  Can we just talk about whatever it is instead of hurting each other?  I know I hurt you too when I was pushing for a friendship and then when I stopped.”  Bucky looks into those blue eyes, so full of life and heart.  

“I thought I was doing okay until the first time you called me Winter.  I don’t want to feel that way again around you.  And I’m not really good with talking, but I’ll try.”  Steve nods and starts walking again.  “You have to admit, I did a pretty good job talking last night.”  

Steve laughs and his eyes twinkling in the street lights.  “Yes, yes you did and look where that got us.”  

They get back to the apartment and Steve goes to his room and comes back with a gift.  “Steve, you already gave me flowers, what is this?”  

Steve bounces on the balls of his feet.  “Open it.”  

Bucky tears the paper open and freezes.  Steve took the picture that the little boy drew and had it framed it.  Looking up, Steve’s searching his face for a response.  Since his breakdown after being pulled back to this time, Bucky hasn’t cried.  Now he cries.  Steve wraps him in a warm hug.  “Thank you.”  It takes a little more time to pull himself together, but when he does, he tells Steve what he thinks actually happened.  “I think the key to all of it was you.”  

They sit, cuddled up on the sofa with the framed picture in Bucky’s lap.  “What do you mean?”  

“I don’t know what crazy wizard guy meant to happen, but I think I was pulled to you in the past and I think you pulled me back to the future.”  Steve looks at him confused.  “You were the only commonality in both times.”  

“Are you saying that I saved you?”  Steve looks a little smug and Bucky elbows him.  

“Yeah, I guess I am.”  Steve brushes a strand of Bucky’s hair from his forehead, then caressing down his cheek and Bucky feels himself shutter.  “Steve, have you ever been attracted to a guy before?”  

“I don’t think I let myself think about it.  It wasn’t allowed back then and when I came out of the ice, I didn’t…I just didn’t care about that.”  Bucky nods and looks down at the picture again.  

“I was.”  Bucky looks back up into Steve’s eyes.  They’re so pretty.  “I didn’t let myself think about you that way, but there were others.”    

“What about all the women, Buck?”  Bucky blushes and turns away.    

“They were just dance partners.  If I was seen out with them, then no one would know.”  Running his finger down the side of the frame, Bucky scrunches up his face.  “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.”  

“You’re telling me now.  That’s all the matters.”  Steve takes the frame and sits it on the side table.  “I can tell you that I’m attracted to you.  I didn’t know that until you told me I was pretty.”  

Bucky turns to face Steve.  “You are very pretty.”  

“And you’re still gorgeous.”  Leaning in, Steve kisses him lightly.  “So, first date went well.  Does that mean we get to have more?”  

Bucky chuckles.  “Yeah, we get to have more, but just so we’re clear, I don’t put out on the first date.”  

Steve laughs delightedly.  Bucky grins and enjoys the sight of that.  “That’s okay because truthfully, I wouldn’t know what to do.  I need to do a little research on that.”  He nibbles at Bucky’s neck.  “I can say that I’m looking forward to it though.”  

Bucky looks over at Captain America, throwing the shield to take out some kind of alien robot.  Set up on the roof of a building just above and east of the Captain’s position, he fires and watches one of the robots drop out of the sky.  Hawkeye takes one down with an exploding arrow and Widow finds out that trying to choke one doesn’t work, but her Widow’s bite does.  

The head flies off of three and the shield goes back to the Captain’s hand.  “Bucky, what can you see?”  

No more Winter and Bucky grins at that.  It’s been nearly a year since he was pulled to the past and got to know Sarah and Steve Rogers.  He still doesn’t have too many memories from when he was a child, but he’s got those and he’s got a hell of a lot from the last year.  “There’s another wave of them coming in and it would be nice if Iron Man could get off his ass and help us out.”  

There’s a sputtering on the coms.  “I’ll have you know that I’m working on something that will end this whole thing.”  

“Could you maybe talk less and dazzles us all with that brilliance you’re always telling us about?”  Bucky snorts and sees Steve grin.  

“You know Cap, since you started courting the Winter Soldier, you’ve gotten a lot more mouthy?”  That makes Bucky snort again because, obviously, Iron Man didn’t really know the real Steve.  

“He’s been mouthy since he could talk.”  Bucky snarks back as Widow comes around the corner, turns sharply and throws another Widow’s bite.  The robot following her drops to the ground.  

“You would know.  Still weirds me out that you went back to ’21 and spent three weeks with baby Steve.”  She looks up at Bucky’s position.  

“It weirds me out that he’s not that much different.”  The whole team chuckles at that.  Steve turns, fighting off another two of those things and Bucky uses the sites on his rifle to watch him move.  “He has a much better ass now though.”  

There’s a squawk from Captain American.  “James Buchannan Barnes!”  

“What?  I’m just tellin the god’s honest truth.  You have…”  

“STOP!”  Iron Man flies in from who knows where and hovers above Cap’s position.  His repulsors make some kind of high pitched noise and all of the robots fall from the sky and the ones on the ground fall where they were standing.  Iron Man turns to Bucky’s position.  Bucky cracks up because, hand to god, Iron Man puts his hands on his hips.  “We do not need to know the gory details of your new found sex life!”  

“Let’s get SHIELD in here to clean this up.”  Captain America glares up at Bucky’s position.  “You and I are going to have a long talk when we get home.”  

Bucky stands and Steve should really know better.  “Are you going to spank me, Captain?”  

The entire team turns to his position now and just stares.  Steve grins and Bucky can see that twinkle.  “Well, if you’re really good, I might be convinced.”  The team turns to look at their straight-laced Captain.  

Iron Man hangs his head.  “I’m going to go home and invent something that will allow me to forget I heard that.”  

“I second that.”  Natasha looks truly disgruntled as she makes her way back to the jet.  

“I third it.”  Clint jumps down to the fire escape below him.  

Bruce, who was still back at the Tower, sighs.  “Brain bleach, I need brain bleach.”  

Thor follows his fellow teammates, tossing his hammer in the air and catching it.  “Is this  spanking  a courting ritual on Midgard?”  

Steve and Bucky don’t go to the debrief.  They have the jet drop them in Brooklyn.  They aren’t even all the way in the door before Steve is pulling at the straps and buckles of Bucky’s uniform.  “My god this thing takes forever to get you out of.”  

Bucky laughs while trying to find the fasteners for Steve’s uniform.  “Not like this one is easy either, pal.”  

They stumble into the bedroom, their bedroom, falling onto the bed finally down to their boxers.  Steve kisses down Bucky’s neck, across his collar bone.  “God, I love you.”  

“Love you too, Baby.”  Steve groans because that pet name is his weakness.