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Summary
In which Zhongli unlocks the Memory of Dust, only to find out:
1. Guizhong is 100% alive (just disembodied) within it,
2. Guizhong has been watching over him this whole time, and
3. Guizhong is very excited by the prospect of Zhongli getting a cute Snezhnayan boyfriend. -
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iconic
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Guizhong clears her metaphorical throat very loudly.
Zhongli and Xiao immediately turn to face her. “Boys,” she chides, “please talk it out. With words.”
“No,” Xiao answers. He is an immortal yaksha, Bane of All Evil, Conqueror of Demons, and his tone is utterly petulant.
“Yes,” Guizhong says back, and Xiao’s resolve crumbles.
Venti, on the other hand, decides to pop a cork off one of the wine bottles. “Well, such a momentous occasion calls for a drink!”
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Guizhong rips into him scathingly. It’s savage. There are no survivors. “Anyway, again, you should have asked him out first. Small steps, my dear, small steps! Mortals do not jump from friendship to marriage the same way we gods raise grand cities from the very rock and dust itself. Such grandiose gestures of courtship are not their style. In fact, you’ll very well scare him off!”Throughout the whole thing, Xiao looks like he’s going to have an aneurysm. “My lord,” he breathes in exasperation, “why do you have such terrible taste?”
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It is almost afternoon when Lumine awakens to the shimmer of lights. “Hey,” Guizhong whispers, “wake up.”Lumine cracks one eye open, and nearly reaches for her sword before remembering that this isn’t a mini-Geo Hypostasis coming to avenge its fallen kin. Just Zhongli’s dear, disembodied friend.
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“Just a question,” Venti huffs as he summons another wind to carry him up, “why are we taking the rooftop route?”“Because we are stalking Zhongli,” Guizhong answers frankly, floating weightlessly ahead of them all as Lumine struggles to keep up with two Anemo immortals and a talking sphere. “He would not approve of our interference, so it must be done covertly.”
As if there is anything covert about any of them. Lumine gasps as she finally scales the resting hill rooftops of Liuli Pavilion.
...
Lumine tries to get the goddess’ attention back on topic. “Guizhong, I think we’re on a tight schedule...”“Ah, yes,” she hums. “Well, this is a restaurant, yes? It must have a kitchen. And any kitchen must have an exit for smoke!”
She scans the area, before flying up to the carefully-concealed chimney. “There it is!”
“You mean to say we should climb down the chimney,” Xiao deadpans. “Guizhong, I respect your wisdom, but that is--”
“Yahoo!” Venti immediately pulls the lid off and drops in. “--Aaah, fire at the bottom--!”
Xiao immediately teleports away, and as Lumine peers over the edge of the chimney, she hears the flurried sounds of shocked chefs and Xiao’s hurried footsteps before Venti shouts back up, “I’m okay!”
Lumine buries her head in her hands. “Guizhong.”
Guizhong turns to her. “Yes?”
“I hate men,” she admits, and Guizhong snorts through her disembodied spirit-nose before glowing brightly in agreement.
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Bookmark Notes:
yum
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Bookmark Notes:
This was an absolute DELIGHT to read, and dw venti, I too tend to give sleep the middle finger *bookmarks this at 1am*
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