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I'm Not Leaving You

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I'm Not Leaving You

Chapter Two

Jared was still so shocked at what he’d found in his trailer that it took him a second to register when the voice spoke and then he was spinning to see Jensen’s eyes were staring at his phone as if debating if he should throw it or burn it.

Out of the many characters, both good and bad, that had been on the show for any length of time, it had been Mark Sheppard’s character of Crowley that still had the biggest impact in a lot of ways. He had gone from a simple conniving crossroads demon to King of Hell and even tense ally to the Winchesters until he had actually sacrificed himself for them several seasons ago.

Crowley’s actor had also become a friend and a staunch ally to Jensen and Jared, so both were missed on set. It had also been Mark’s character that seemed to take a lot of Sam’s frustration in a few season finales, but to hear that same Crowley voice now speaking from Jensen’s phone at the same time as a life-sized, stuffed Crowley appeared in Jared’s trailer was still kind of shocking to both men.

“Do I need to ask what’s up with the call and… whatever this thing is?” Jensen asked, holding his phone while losing Dean’s jacket and slightly amused to see Jared was giving the stuffed Crowley evil looks.

“A little bird up there might have texted to say you boys were filming a rather difficult and highly emotional scene today. Since I’ve been on the receiving end of Moose’s emotions after one of those, I decided to send something up to maybe help him expend any excess energy since I couldn’t make the trip myself like I had originally planned,” Mark replied, sitting back in his chair with a smirk as if picturing what was happening up in Vancouver. “Has he punched anyone?” he asked. “Or more to the point given your tone, have you punched anyone, Jensen?”

Jensen smirked, sitting down on the sofa with a low groan as his muscles reminded him of doing his own stunts. “You mean other than his doll of you?” he countered, grinning as he watched Jared go ahead and give the smirking Crowley a serious beatdown before slumping next to him on the sofa. “No, not yet and no, not yet to the other question too.”

“Keep your head and his above water and let him beat me up when he feels like exerting energy,” Mark heard Jared mutter something that made him laugh at the same time as Jensen must have choked on whatever he had just taken a drink of. “And that is where I’ll end this conversation. Goodbye, Boys.”

“I still was never sure if Mark was playing Crowley or the other way around,” Jensen muttered once he had stopped choking after Jared, exhausted from both the scene and beating up the stuffed Crowley, had said something about Jensen helping him exerting energy. “Wanna talk now or go to makeup, go home, call out for food, and then talk?” he asked.

Jared’s eyes were already half closed but he forced them open to lift his head from where it rested on Jensen’s chest as they sat on the sofa in his trailer. “What you said? In the scene?” he asked softly, unsure how to ask what it was in his mind or if they should wait until they weren’t on set.

“Let’s go get this stuff off. We’ll talk about that while we wait on food,” Jensen decided it best to handle this discussion at their home where they both could relax.

Once makeup was off and Clif drove them home, Jensen called out for food while Jared showered. “Jen?” he called out at the sound of the bedroom door opening and closing and a burst of cool air entered the steam filled shower as the air changed as Jensen stepped in.

“I know you’re nervous about what will happen between us once we wrap, about once you’re back in Texas filming Walker and I’m up here in Canada,” Jensen began slowly, picking something up from the bathroom counter to run his fingers around the gold band that was not Jared’s ‘normal’ wedding band. “I also know it scared you when it clicked that you and I haven’t really been apart from one another or filmed without the other, a few movies notwithstanding, for fifteen years.” He paused to hold out a towel when Jared stepped from the shower and had a brief moment of distraction when he watched the way water trailed down Jared’s chest, over his stomach to the towel. “You want to know if I meant what I threw in the scene just for you?”

Jared nodded, wrapping the towel around his waist but not missing the way Jensen’s eyes moved or how they had darkened once they moved back to his. He noticed that while he’d been showering, Jensen had changed into a pair of worn, soft denim jeans and a casual t-shirt but had left his shoes and socks off. “You said…”

“Even when we’re apart, I will still be with you every step of the way on every day that you and I are not together, Jay,” Jensen promised in a voice that dropped lower until more of his natural Texas accent could be heard in the huskiness of it. “I will admit that it scares me too. I have played Dean longer than I have any other character so not only does it scare me to leave him, but it scares me to leave you too because like Sam and Dean, it has always been you and me,” he went on with a gentle smile, lifting a hand up to rest it on the side of Jared’s face much like he wished he could have done during that barn scene but Jensen had known not to push it more than he had.

“We will make this change work. You and I will still be on the phone and maybe even have Zoom sex if I can figure that mess out. You will do your best to carry on and soon, very soon if I have my way, we will be working together again in some way,” Jensen watched Jared’s eyes still hold more worry and concern than he liked but then he saw the first hint of a smile come and that made him a little less worried. “I’m also so proud of you for getting through that scene as well as you did even with my little additions.”

Jared believed Jensen. He knew he had meant the words he said to him and they did make him feel slightly better even if he knew the change would still be hard when it came. He glanced down at the feel of Jensen slipping something on his hand to see it was the ring that Jared had taken out of his jeans before he showered so he could put it on afterwards. Then he noticed the overhead light glint on something on Jensen’s hand and he felt more tension ease away when he noticed the matching ring on Jensen’s hand. “Jen…”

“I love you, Jared Padalecki,” Jensen said with a drop in tone, stepping closer to place his hand over Jared’s heart and smiling as it was immediately covered with Jared’s own. “I know it’ll be rough for the first few months as we both adjust and until all the travel restrictions ease up some so we can fly back and forth to see one another, but I will always be a phone call away,” he added, lips curving up into a slow smile before sliding his other hand up to curve his fingers around the back of Jared’s neck in order to bring his head closer so their foreheads could touch and loving the start of a dimpled smile he could see on the younger man. “I will always be with you, Jay.”

Jared could feel his throat tightening up again much like it had on set. He realized just how much of Jensen’s own emotions had come out in that scene and that made it so much more real than it already had felt for him. “I love you too, Jen,” he returned, tears evident in his voice and his eyes but then felt himself forget all of his worries or fears the second Jensen’s lips touched his in a slow, deep loving kiss.

There was a brief second of debate by Jensen if they were going to end up in the shower or the bed when the sound of the doorbell announcing that their dinner was there caused him to mutter a low curse about a delivery guy that actually delivered on time.

“Food and then hot sex?” Jared asked with a teasing smile, groaning when he was pulled back closer for a hotter kiss before Jensen stepped back with a smirk and a wink.

“Oh, hell yeah,” he said before going to pay for their food and set it out on the actual dining room table that they hardly ever used, or at least for food, but Jensen quickly pushed that memory aside or else he wasn’t sure it would be used to eat at this time either.

“We actually using this table to eat at this time?” Jared’s voice from behind him made Jensen smile but it was the feel of his boyfriend’s arms wrapping around him from behind that made it grow.

“Yes, we are going to eat real food at it right now,” Jensen paused to turn his head enough to see Jared’s eyes were more golds and blues which told him he was more relaxed than he had been earlier. “Now what we use it for later? Totally different matter.”

Jared laughed but sat down next to Jensen so they could share the Italian meal with just quiet conversation and memories that made them both laugh. There was no talk of the rest of the filming or what came next for either of them once everything was wrapped up.

After dinner, Jared stood with a stretch and went to start to clean up the dishes used only to stop when a hand caught his wrist. Glancing over he saw deep green eyes staring back at him in a way that Jared knew meant the dishes wouldn’t be getting washed that night, and they probably wouldn’t be going over any scenes they each had to film the next day either.

“I’ll throw the dishes in the dishwasher in the morning while you’re in the shower,” Jensen began after stopping Jared from picking up the dishes. “We can run lines while I shower.” He paused to step around his chair, feeling their fingers touch as he moved his hand from Jared’s wrist to find his hand while taking a step back towards the stairs. “Tonight? I’m taking you upstairs and making love with you like I plan to every single night until we have to be apart. Is that okay with you, Jay?” he asked in the low sexy tone that Jensen used without even trying to when it was just the two of them alone.

Jared’s eyes had gone to the way their fingers seem to just intertwine on instinct now before moving back up to Jensen’s to watch the green depths actually appear to grow deeper to him. He flicked his gaze down to Jensen’s full lips and smiled before moving it back up. “Making love with you is always okay with me, Jensen,” he replied and met the next kiss fully.

Ever since the first time they’d kissed, way back in season two, it never failed to amaze Jared that even after so many years, Jensen could still surprise him when they kissed because he swore the man had never yet kissed him the same way twice.

He was so lost in the feel of teasing lips and a tongue gently playing hide and seek with his, that Jared wasn’t even aware of when they’d gotten upstairs to the master bedroom until he felt his back hit the mattress with a laughing gasp that dried up on a groan the second he watched Jensen pull his t-shirt off over his head in one smooth motion before reaching for the snap of his jeans.

“You do know what shirt Sam’s supposed to be wearing for the scene I film tomorrow, right?” he asked, sitting up so he could begin to pull his own t-shirt off only to go still at the low growl he heard. He let his hands drop back to his sides to allow Jensen to remove the shirt and wondered if he’d survive the making out part of their night as Jensen stepped in closer so he could straddle his legs while beginning to kiss Jared’s throat. “Jen…”

Jensen’s lips curved at the low moan of his name, licking a stripe up from the hollow of Jared’s throat to just below his ear before repeating the line back down but this time with light little bites that he knew would make Jared shiver and wasn’t disappointed when he felt his boyfriend’s body start to respond more. He also could feel another part of Jared growing more interested in each kiss or touch as well.

“Yeah, I know the shirt that you’re supposed to be wearing, babe,” he replied after several moments of just kissing Jared’s throat, settling his mouth over his pulse point to begin to suck it slowly until both men knew there’d be a mark there in the morning.

It had never mattered to Jensen about leaving a mark on Jared before even though they both tried not to let it be where it might be hard to explain to makeup or others on the set. That night, he decided to say a silent ‘fuck it’ to everyone that had told them to hide what they were to one another and he wanted to leave a mark on the man he loved that Jensen would dare anyone on set to ask either of them about.

Jared laughed fully, deeply at that simple answer. He knew that at this point that Jensen was fed up with the lies they’d had to tell and still might have to for awhile longer but at that moment, Jared didn’t care. All he was concerned with was feeling Jensen’s hands on him, sharing deep kisses that they both enjoyed, and finally finding themselves stretched out beside one another on the bed they had shared for so long just touching one another.

The heat and haste of earlier was gone as neither man seemed to be in a hurry now to lose a connection that had always been more than sexual or even physical between them. It was the quiet moments of intimacy that Jensen realized suddenly that he’d miss the most when he and Jared could no longer be together.

A light touch caressing his face caused Jensen to snap his thoughts back from where he suddenly realized he must have been overthinking because when his eyes focused he saw the mild concern on Jared’s face and in his eyes.

“I thought brooding and overthinking this was my job?” Jared remarked when he saw Jensen’s attention come back to him and figured whatever his friend had been thinking about had cleared at his touch. “Where’d you go, Jen?” he asked but had a hunch he knew because slipping into his own head was something Jared tended to do a lot when fighting his emotions.

“Nowhere, Jay. No matter what anyone says or how it might look, I’m not going anywhere,” Jensen replied, reaching up to card his fingers back through Jared’s hair and this time allowed his nails to scrape the younger man’s scalp, a little thing that he’d learned years ago Jared enjoyed.

They made love slowly but passionately several times that night until finally Jared lay pliant and sexed out against Jensen’s side, his head resting over his heart like he tended to prefer to sleep when tense. “Hmm, Jensen?” he asked sleepily, eyes closed but still felt the light touch of fingers stroking down his arm. “Are you on set or on location for the rest of the filming?”

“Both,” Jensen replied, looking at the ceiling while letting his hand keep moving down Jared’s arm like he would do until his boyfriend was asleep fully. “I’ll be there when you film the burning scene but then I need to go do some scenes with the Impala. I’ll be back by the time you’re done filming,” he assured Jared while deciding not to mention the near fight he had gotten into when he said he wanted to be there to watch Jared film the scene of Dean’s funeral. “When I am on location or can’t be there, if things get too hard or you need a break, go beat up ‘Crowley’,” he smiled when he heard a soft snort before finally feeling Jared relax into a deep sleep and hoped this would be the night his friend slept through the night without a nightmare.

The rest of the filming went as well as could be expected with only the usual issues or headaches. The funeral scene and then the final scenes in the bunker were hard for Jared but for both Jensen had insisted on staying on set so his co-star wouldn’t be alone to handle the emotional fall-out.

The morning of the funeral scene, after they’d made love the night before and again that morning in the shower, left a smirking Jensen sitting in his makeup chair waiting for one of the their regular makeup ladies to mention the rather obvious mark on Jared’s throat that would require covering given the shirt Sam would be wearing that scene.

“So, I was told Jared had a couple interesting… marks on him when he showed up for makeup this morning,” Jim Michaels stated as he joined Jensen to watch the funeral scene where Sam finally had to do the one thing he had always refused to do and that was burn his brother’s body.

“Tattoos or hickies. Both can be covered with makeup, Jim,” Jensen merely shrugged but gave the other man a small smirk that got him a laugh. “It’s not like I kissed him on scene or anything.”

Jim glanced over to see that Jensen’s eyes were locked on where Jared stood as Sam was pondering the lighter in his hand before giving it a toss to set the funeral pyre on fire. “You came damn close in the barn set,” he commented casually and wasn’t shocked by the slow, cocky smile that he was given that Jensen had known exactly what he’d been doing in that scene. “Jensen…”

“I gave Jared what he needed to hear the same as Dean gave to Sam, Jim,” Jensen turned to one of the first men that had figured out when things had changed between them. “Forgetting the crap I’ve been pissed off at Andrew over the last few seasons, the scene in the barn, the words I added, the ones Jared and I wanted scripted in were for both Sam and Dean, and Jared and I.

“Dean Winchester had spent his entire life living up to their father’s expectations. He spent it trying to measure up, to keep the tough guy, macho attitude so no one, not even his little brother, would ever see him falter or fall until the very end.” He paused to take a breath since he hadn’t thought he’d get into this conversation with anyone and especially not right then but needed to make at least one person understand something vital to him and how he played Dean.

“When it clicked, when he realized that this time was it, that he told Sam no deals, he accepted that it was time to be honest and to face all the emotions he’d been hiding from Sam for years, not just the last 15 but nearly all their lives. Those two brothers? They have protected one another, died for one another and would do anything for the other so if there were any two characters connected as… hell, I’ll use soulmates as the word since they are bonded that tightly, it’s Sam and Dean. Sam needed to hear those words we scripted. Jared needed to hear what wasn’t scripted, but what I needed to say to him because he’s having fifteen years of our lives together pulled out from under him. He and I are bonded just as tightly, and I needed both him and Sam to know that Dean and I would always be with them.” Jensen stopped to run his fingers back through his hair, uneasy with how much emotion he had just shared but saw Jim offer a slow smile and a nod.

“Neither of you will ever stop being those characters will you, Jensen?” Jim asked even though he knew the answer even without seeing a familiar smirk come on Jensen’s face.

“We’ve been Sam and Dean Winchester too long to just walk away fully so no, I don’t think I’ll ever fully be able to let him go, and I know pieces of Sam will stay with Jared.” Jensen heard Bob shout ‘Cut’ and knew he needed to refocus his thoughts and expression before Jared got to him. So, with another smile to Jim he walked away.

Jim squeezed the bridge of his nose, watching the boys talk a moment and saw Jensen’s hand go to Jared’s shoulder while also reaching down to pet the dog. “Yeah, the bridge scene will be interesting once Bob calls it,” he decided and wondered if he shouldn’t tell Bob what he was just given in the way of Jensen’s view of the brothers and the bond they all knew had always been the heart of the show.

“I want photos of the makeup job they do on you today for Sam as he ages,” Jensen had said as he got his makeup done and prepared to go on location for some shots with the Impala.

“Hell no, that won’t be happening, Ackles,” Jared replied with a laugh, tossing the young woman putting wrinkles on his face a glare after she promised Jensen she’d send him a few. “Well, as least we’ll know how bad I might look when I’m old and grey.”

Jensen paused in reaching for Dean’s jacket to look down at Jared with a sudden, uncharacteristic frown on his handsome face. Coming closer, he knelt down to say something softly so only Jared could hear him while placing his hand over Jared’s wrist where it rested on the chair arm and gave it a gentle squeeze. “Do you understand me?” he asked quietly but firmly as Jared slowly turned his head to look at him and gave a nod.

Once Jensen had left and Jared seemed to shake himself out of the funk he’d been slipping into, the makeup lady that usually did his makeup came back closer to finish her work. “I’m guessing you don’t plan to share what he said to you just then?” she asked but already knew Jared wouldn’t, but was glad that whatever it was had made him relax and smile again.

“No, it’s just something between us,” Jared replied, sitting back to close his eyes so the rest of his makeup could be applied while still hearing the soft but firm voice speak in a tone that was a cross between Jensen and his character.

“‘You will never be bad looking at any age or even when you’re old and grey, Jared. And I will love you regardless,’” Jensen had whispered to him.

The day of the final scene had come and while Jared had another restless night, he hadn’t been driven from bed. He had merely turned and let Jensen’s voice reassure him that it would be okay, and they’d handle both the shoot and whatever came after.

It was one of the most emotional days on set for both the two actors and the crew because it was still hard to process that the show was ending after fifteen seasons.

There had been a small, near-issue with a crew member that had been more than a little disgruntled by not only the finale episode as a whole, but also the final scene. Eugenie had been on hand and had simply told the upset woman who had objected to the so-called unfair ending of a certain character that this was the series finale; a series that had always been about two brothers and would never have included him even pre-re-write.

“Jensen always said there were destiel shippers on staff,” Bob sighed, shooting his fellow executive producers a hard look that spoke of years of displeasure regarding that issue. “That scene in eighteen never should have been put in. Even though we basically ignored it and Dean very clearly didn’t say anything back it’s still going to ignite Collins’ fanbase.”

“I think Jensen’s performance in this episode should cement who was always most important to Dean,” Andrew replied, hearing Eugenie laugh about ‘only the blind wouldn’t be able to tell that and even then they’d probably still know it by the tone Dean used if not his words’.

Filming on location, especially one as remote as they had chosen for the finale’s final scene wasn’t always easy. Bob was thankful for drones these days even though for the most part it would still be stationary cameras to get the reunion of the Winchesters on film.

There had been a few little hidden Easter eggs in this episode with nods to the pilot. The last had been accomplished by their wardrobe department even if they hadn’t been quite able to match Sam’s t-shirt correctly to which Jared had muttered that he thought they had saved all their old clothes in case something was ever needed.

“Dude! Look at you then to now. There is no way in hell that shirt would even have gone over your shoulders much less your chest,” Jensen had said with a smile that slowly changed as he gave his now blushing co-star another look over. “Now while I wouldn’t mind seeing you trying that, I’m pretty sure someone else on set might.”

Bob had just stepped into the trailer to hear this conversation and merely turned back around with a shake of his head. “We’re ready as soon as you two are and Jensen? Behave until I call the scene?”

“Yeah, I will,” Jensen replied with a smirk and a wink at his laughing co-star while reaching to adjust the hoodie he wore. “Let’s go do this one more time.”

“One more time,” Jared agreed, taking a deep breath of clean mountain air before looking down at the feel of fingers brushing over his hand. “Just us. Just them.”

Jensen nodded, understanding the simple comment. “Forever,” he replied with a look over that didn’t need any words to translate.

Driving the Impala onto the bridge, Jensen paused on cue and used that time to fully get into the mind of Dean one final time, or at least one final time for the moment. Stepping out of the car, the car that Jensen was silently thrilled that he and Jared would each get to take one home with them, he moved to the railing to just gaze out at the scenery in front of him.

He smiled before tensing just subtly as if suddenly sensing something close by and then his smile softened as he knew what had changed. “Hey, Sammy,” he said, while turning slowly to see Sam standing just off to the side and behind him, dressed in the same outfit as he had been when he had left college with Dean all those years before.

Sam’s smile was relieved, happy as he met his brother’s eyes. “Dean,” he murmured, voice thick with buried emotions as he stepped forward just as Dean was reaching out to pull him in for a tight, long overdue hug; a hug that the younger Winchester returned with equal strength and relief after having missed his brother for so long.

Holding the hug a moment or two longer, Dean finally stepped back and with a gentle nudge led Sam over to the railing so they could share the moment of being reunited again and like Bobby had told Dean, Heaven was a huge place to explore now that he had Sam back at his side.

They filmed this a couple times to be sure it was caught from a couple angles and because Bob knew on instinct that the boys weren’t happy with the first two takes and did a third run through. It was on that final take that the director saw the light touch to ‘Sam’s’ neck that was not in the first two takes.

Bob watched as the drone camera began zooming out to catch the boys, the sight of the trees, the creek, the bridge in a wide final shot. He called cut on that but knew there was one more thing to film as Jared and Jensen wanted to film a special ‘thank you’ to their fans.

As this was wrapping up, the crew and other cast from that location shot all had come onto the bridge for a wide drone shot of that. “Cut!” he called for the final time and then just held his breath to see what would happen next. He didn’t have to wait long.

As soon as he called ‘Cut’ on the thank you scene, Jensen was already moving. He turned to Jared to see bright hazel eyes shining back at him as if his co-star had been expecting this and in truth Jared had been because Jensen had always teased that the second they wrapped up filming for good was when he was kissing him in front of anyone on set right at that moment.

“Hey, Mr. Ackles,” he began, lips curving up as he watched Jensen’s own mouth curve into the slow, sexy smirk he had but never used while on set.

“Hey back, Mr. Padalecki,” Jensen met Jared’s eyes, ignoring the low warning cough he thought he heard from somewhere on the bridge. “I think I owe you something, Jared,” he remarked casually, fingers almost itching to touch Jared in some way but held off for the moment.

Jared cocked his head as if confused before his full, bright, and dimpled smile lit his face and he snapped his fingers as if just remembering something important. “Yeah, now that you mention it, I think you do, Jensen,” he agreed, meeting and holding Jensen’s eyes. “Gonna give that to me now, Jensen?” he asked teasingly, knowing what would be happening and also hearing someone shout their names.

“Oh, hell yes!” Jensen returned with a full and deep laugh, stepping forward to reach up to grab hold of the hoodie Jared still had on with one hand while his other reached up to slide behind and curve around Jared’s neck. They smiled while locking eyes but before Jensen did what they both had been waiting for him to do he heard his name shouted again. He never broke eye contact with Jared as he smirked and yelled, “Fuck off, Dabb! We’ve wrapped and he’s mine!”

The rest of the world, the rest of the people on that bridge ceased to exist to Jared and Jensen from the second Jensen gave a slight tug that brought Jared fully into his arms and their mouths found each other in a kiss that yet again stunned the younger actor.

Given Jensen’s tension right then and his obvious temper sizzling, Jared had expected heat and need in this kiss but the second he felt Jensen’s lips touch his, felt the way his fingers shifted on the back of his neck he knew it wouldn’t be this way.

The kiss wasn’t soft, but it was by far not all heat and need either and Jared swore his knees shook much like they had the first time they had kissed.

“Mine,” Jensen said again but this time in a whisper against Jared’s mouth before slowly, hesitantly breaking the kiss to meet Jared’s smile with one of his own. “Let’s go home,” he said, turning and ignoring several wide eyes and open mouths, or in some cases scowls, as he and Jared walked back toward the Impala. “I’m driving her back to the lot where the trailer is!” he called over his shoulder, clearly speaking to Jim and Bob.

“Yeah, yeah, go ahead but no pit stops!” Jim shouted even as he was turning to head off a fuming bodyguard as Jared laughed at something Jensen said about them using a black light on the car if they did make any stops. “Jensen knows the way back to where the car trailer is parked, Clif,” he told the unhappy bodyguard before shifting a look to see Bob was shaking his head at Andrew. “Hey! Did I bet you that he’d probably do that?”

Bob paused in letting a shouting Andrew rant about Jensen being reckless and breaking his agreement not to out them and a few other complaints. “First off, no. I did not bet you because I’m not stupid. Eric and I knew Jensen would probably do that as soon as someone called the final scene so that would have been a sucker’s bet and you!” he stopped to put a hand up in Andrew’s face to stop his shouting.

“Jensen and Jared’s agreement with Eric and any executive producer on this show was that he would not out them so long as the show was filming and on air. Technically, yeah, I could get him on the on air clause but I won’t and none of you will because we’ve been damn lucky for the last few years that Jensen Ackles hasn’t bitched more than he has or acted out or outed them before now considering he had plenty of reasons to!” Bob snapped, turning to head toward the cars once the cameras were broken down. “Leave them alone for as long as they’re still here to do pick-ups or a couple behind the scenes things I need them for.”

“I really can’t believe you actually did that in front of everyone,” Jared still sounded stunned even once they had gotten back to their home in Vancouver. “I also can’t believe our phones aren’t ringing off the hook or did you shut them off while I wasn’t looking?” he asked, starting to look for his phone when calloused fingertips pushed against his chest to nudge him to his back on the bed they were laying in after making love.

“No, I didn’t turn the phones off but I also figure Bob or Jim probably handled the majority of the fallout from Dabb, who should also know not to even think to call me,” Jensen replied as he rolled easily to straddle Jared’s legs, catching his hands and loving the way Jared’s eyes changed when he let their fingers mesh before stretching his arms above his head. “Technically, I didn’t out us. I… just kissed you in front of cast and crew.”

“Kissed me very well too if I can say so, Jen,” Jared smiled, testing Jensen’s grip on his hands before moving his eyes to see Jensen’s was darkening slowly and noticing a very obvious interest by both of their cocks.

“You can always say that to me, Jay,” Jensen chuckled, leaning closer to kiss his boyfriend again but this time he let more heat into the kiss as it began to build between them again. “I love you so damn much, Jared.”

Jared moaned into the next kiss, letting his lips part to allow Jensen’s tongue to enter and begin to play with his while also exploring his mouth. He felt his body arch up at the feel of fingers sliding along his side once Jensen released his hands to have both free to touch him. “Jensen!”

“Touch me, Jay. I want to feel those hands on me,” Jensen encouraged, voice growing rougher as desire built again for both of them but fighting to control it in order to give them both pleasure again.

It had never been a question between them that when they made love or even fooled around that Jensen was the one in control but he also always encouraged Jared’s active participation even in the beginning when he boyfriend was still shyly learning the ropes on what to do.

Stretching out so their bodies almost meshed as well together as their fingers did when intertwined, Jensen smiled against Jared’s throat at the first careful touch of fingers moving over his back. “Touch me, babe,” he murmured, lightly nipping along Jared’s collarbone and finally feeling his lover’s hands starting to move more as they glided over Jensen’s back, down over his buttocks and groaning at the feel of the strength in those hands squeezing before sliding back up. “Fuck, Jay!”

“I thought that was your part of this duo,” Jared said, laughing as it took Jensen a second to realign his brain and then he saw the wicked smile a second before Jensen’s mouth was on his again, this time claiming it hotly, deeply until both were moaning.

Because they had already made love several times since getting home and having a mini celebration of wrapping their show, Jared was still stretched and loose but he still made a low growl when Jensen insisted on making sure before he pulled his legs up so this time when they made love they could see one another.

Jensen knew it wouldn’t take either of them long this time. He could see the exhaustion on Jared’s face as well and so hoped between the day of filming the emotional final scene and that evening’s activities that his boyfriend would sleep soundly.

“I love you, Jared,” he said, giving two solid thrusts that took him flush with Jared’s ass. The way they were positioned allowed his cock to hit the correct spot inside Jared easily and Jensen loved the words that always came out of Jared’s mouth even without him being aware of half of them. “I love you so damn much. I can never tell you how much meeting you, falling in love with you has changed my life and will continue to change it,” Jensen went on, voice thick with a sudden rush of emotions.

Jared had been focused on watching Jensen’s face as they made love because he hardly ever got to see his face as they did. He loved to see how relaxed it was when Jensen let his guard down when it was just the two of them like this.

This time he could also see something else shining in darkening green eyes. Jared had to focus his own emotions not to let the sudden burning tears fall at the amount of love shining out at him from Jensen and the emotions spoken to him.

“I love you too, Jensen,” he managed to say without his voice breaking too much, moaning as another thrust from Jensen’s hips had his cock hitting Jared’s prostate and he could feel his cock was now dripping pre come steadily. “You have been there with me, for me through some of the worst and the best times of my life. You have taught me so much that I hope I can keep that up and make you proud while we’re doing these things apart but…” he moaned as Jensen kissed him again to stop the words.

“I am so damn proud of you, Jared Tristan Padalecki,” Jensen knew he had to stop the words before they both broke, too much suddenly hitting them as once again it was plain that their time together would be ending. “I am proud of you. I love you and I will tell you again, I am not leaving you, Jay,” he promised thickly, seeing the tears in Jared’s eyes but also saw his nod. “Come for me?”

Jared felt Jensen’s hand wrap around his cock to begin stroking it in long, smooth strokes and that combined with Jensen’s cock hitting that spot inside him soon had Jared’s balls tightening until with a skilled twist and stroke of Jensen’s hand Jared felt himself coming hard with a shout of Jensen’s name.

“There’s my boy,” Jensen smiled as he continued to move his hand along Jared’s cock while feeling his own orgasm nearing and loving to watch Jared’s face as he worked through his climax because it always made him look younger, more relaxed and without the concerns he often had now. “Love you, babe,” he whispered and let himself fall over that same edge.

The sounds in their bedroom were mostly soft sounds of words being shared between them, of flesh meeting flesh. Then it was silent and both men just laid still, wrapped in the other’s arms to share this moment of calm, of peace. Finally, Jensen knew he had to move or risk the come drying and having a rather sticky situation in the morning.

Jared’s brain had shorted out shortly after feeling Jensen’s climax hit and fill him. By the time he woke back up he could see he’d been wiped cleaned and dressed in his sleep pants with Jensen’s arm wrapped around to hold him close to his side.

“You waking up?” the older man asked lightly, but the concern could still be heard by someone who knew Jensen well. “I was starting to worry between kissing you on the bridge today and all the sex tonight that I might have broken you.”

“Hmm?” Jared mumbled, still mostly asleep but happy and relaxed for the first time in a long time. “Nah. Sleepy,” he murmured, hearing a soft chuckle before feeling warm lips brush over his hair from where his head rested under Jensen’s chin. “Jen? The offer to stay at your place in Austin with Danneel and the kids still open?” he asked through a yawn, eyes heavy with sleep now and wanting to sleep but also wanting to finish this one last thing before he did.

Jensen had been smiling fondly at the way Jared was shifting until he was closer to Jensen, his fingers laying over Jensen’s chest until Jensen took them in his free hand. He was just closing his own eyes when that last question clicked and he paused, frowned, and opened his eyes but noticed that Jared’s were still closed even though he seemed a little tenser.

The offer to allow Jared to stay at Jensen’s place in Austin had come at the suggestion of Danneel once she learned where the shooting of Walker would take place and the new agreement between Jared and Gen. It was something that Jared had said he would consider but hadn’t brought up again… until that moment.

“Yeah, if that’s something you want and need then of course you know you’re welcome to live at my place so you’d still be close to your kids,” Jensen replied, trailing his fingers down Jared’s arm. “That the deal you have with Gen?”

“No, she said we could still live together since in public and for publicity it’ll still look like we’re together, but I just don’t think it would work without being weird. Plus, my deal with her agent was that she could be on the show, but we didn’t live together unless we had to and I choose not to,” Jared shrugged, opening his eyes just enough to see Jensen was watching him. “Okay?”

Lips curving, Jensen smiled fully. “Yeah. Yeah, it’s fine. You know already and Danneel’s told you that our house is your house and you can stay in our room there so it’s fine,” he reassured his friend and relaxed as Jared seemed happier with that answer and settled back down.

As both men slowly settled to sleep, Jensen stayed awake a little longer, but once he felt that Jared was relaxed and appeared to be sleeping soundly, deeply, he let his own eyes close with plans of their future even if some of that might be long distance until such a time when he and Jared could work together as well as live together again.

The End

Notes:

Thanks for reading and hopefully more new stories will keep coming so long as the muse keeps working.