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On a scale from zero to the-entire-universe-knows-about-my-feelings, Corpse would rate this as a solid holy-shit-i-can’t-believe-i-just-did-that. Maybe even a what-the-fuck-is-wrong-with-me, if he’s being generous.
”I think you’re breaking up,” Scarra says to the group through the discord call. “I think you’re breaking--. Can you guys hear me?”
“Hello? Scarra?” Sykkuno asks. “You’re playing Among Us with us, right?”
It sounds like maybe Toast tries to say something, but before he can, Sykkuno continues. “I can’t be breaking up, ‘cause girls aren’t into me.”
Corpse, because he can’t help himself, laughs -- both at the way Sykkuno says it, but also at the absurdity of the statement itself. Because there was absolutely no way in hell that there aren’t tons of people who find Sykkuno wildly attractive.
“Sykkuno, you take that back.”
Sykkuno just continues to giggle. “I thought it’d-- I thought I’d make you laugh.”
“I was muted. I, ah, I did. I had a-- I had a hearty, hearty chuckle. But, you better be joking.”
“Uh huh, oh I--”
“Sykkuno, if girls aren’t into you,” Edison says from somewhere in the ether. (And this is the part where Corpse is really fucking screwed, except he doesn’t know it yet.) “I know a lot of guys that are into you. There’s one in particular...”
Sykkuno squeaks out a surprised “what?” just as Corpse opens his big mouth.
“Yeah, I, uh-- I know, I know a couple.”
And then he registers what Edison had just been saying about knowing one guy in particular that was really into Sykkuno...
Jesus fucking Christ. What had he been thinking? Or, for that matter, what had Edison been thinking?
Corpse cringes, beyond grateful that he has no face cam to display his embarrassment, and tries to force his mind to focus on the game instead of on the fact that he’d basically admitted to being into Sykkuno in front of literally everyone. Thankfully, Toast had almost immediately jumped in under the pretense of getting someone else to join their game, and effectively ending the conversation.
Corpse has never been particularly good at hiding his thoughts and feelings about anything, despite his best efforts to the contrary. In theory, being a faceless YouTuber and artist should only help instead of making him feel like he’s constantly exposed to the world. But any chill that may have possibly existed has flown out the window since he met Sykkuno.
That being said, he knows he’s not the only guilty party in this whole thing. Corpse pulls out his phone and shoots off a quick text before the next round begins, because this was not entirely his fault.
To: Edison
Edison... what the fuck, man?
And somehow, just with that small gesture, he feels a bit better and is able to get back into playing the game. The next time Corpse dies, he checks his phone, and sees that Edison has sent a few texts back.
From: Edison
sorryyyyyy. i should have kept my mouth shut.
i love sykkuno, but sometimes i want to shake him, lol.
And then: but i hope you know i would never have said anything about you specifically.
Corpse sighs, because he does know that. Like so many things as of late, Corpse also hadn’t expected Edison to be the one he’d first opened up to about his crush on Sykkuno. One minute they’d been talking about Edison and Leslie’s relationship and how Corpse envied them, and in the next, Corpse had admitted that he’d been thinking about Sykkuno in that way, like it had been unwillingly pried from his lips. Edison, for his part, took it all in stride and spent hours that night talking through everything with Corpse with far more patience than Corpse felt he deserved. If he’d been surprised by the revelation at all, though, he hadn’t let it show in any way, which Corpse appreciated.
He sends a quick text back to Edison now, so he doesn’t worry.
Of all people to fall for, Corpse never imagined in a hundred years that it would be someone like Sykkuno. And yet, here he is all the same. Sykkuno is like the opposite of what Corpse has typically been attracted to. But at the same time, he can’t think of a better person to match both his personality and what he needs in a partner. In a lot of ways, they’re really good for each other, even from a strictly personality-based perspective.
Sykkuno’s presence and voice has an inexplicably calming effect on Corpse’s nerves. And he knows that he provides something similar to Sykkuno in return. Sykkuno is kind and thoughtful and loyal. He has a great sense of humor, and is incredibly smart, even if people don’t always realize it at first. He’s just this side of socially awkward, creative as hell, and one of the most genuine people Corpse has ever had the pleasure of knowing. Plus, they have more in common than Corpse ever would have thought at first glance. Even if all they ever remained was friends, Corpse would still consider himself incredibly fortunate.
By the time the stream ends, Corpse has almost convinced himself that nothing significant happened. He shuts things down, stretching his sore body after hours of being completely still. He’s grateful that his stupid internet connection had managed to stick it out after all, and goes to relieve his gamer bladder.
There are several notifications waiting for him when he returns from the bathroom.
From: Edison
do you think you’ll talk to sykkuno? for what it’s worth, i don’t think you’re alone in your feelings. but i also can’t see him making the first move, you know?
Corpse frowns down at his screen. Edison has been a surprisingly good wingman for him since he found out about Corpse’s feelings for Sykkuno a few weeks back. But at the same time, it doesn’t necessarily mean anything about Sykkuno’s feelings for Corpse. Sure, they’ve been flirting -- openly and blatantly at times, even -- but Sykkuno is an absolute sweetheart, as well as an amazing friend. The truth is that Corpse has no way of knowing if this is his normal behavior, or if he treats Corpse differently from the rest of their friends.
To: Edison
I don’t know, man. I want to, but I’m also fucking terrified. This has never happened to me before.
Next, he opens the text from Rae. Though he already has an idea of what she’s going to say.
From: Rae
So, you know a couple guys who are interested in Sykkuno, hmmm? Or did you mean to just say ONE? Iiiiiiiiiinteresting.
Corpse rolls his eyes and laughs in spite of himself.
To: Rae
Hey, fuck you.
He can already hear her maniacal laughter in his head. And all teasing aside, he’s so grateful to have made such a good friend in Rae.
The last message he received is from Sykkuno himself, and it doesn’t give Corpse much to go on.
From: Sykkuno
hey, uh, i was wondering if it would be okay if i called you?
Obviously there’s no answer here for Corpse but yes. He wonders, though, what Sykkuno wants to talk about, and if it has anything to do with the stream. They’ve been talking and Facetiming a lot more recently, particularly since Corpse finally sent a picture of himself to Sykkuno. He loves talking to Sykkuno, and in particular seeing his face light up when Corpse makes him smile or laugh.
To: Sykkuno
I thought you were playing Minecraft? But sure. Can we make it Facetime?
Corpse sits back down at his desk and starts to log into his computer again to take the call. Regardless of what they talk about, Corpse knows that it will help ease his anxiety to see Sykkuno rather than just hearing him.
“Hey Sykkuno,” Corpse says, when he picks up the call a few minutes later.
“Hi Corpse! I hope it’s not too late to be calling?”
“Sykkuno, you could call me at 4 in the morning and I’d still answer.”
It may be a little sad, but it’s still true. There’s honestly not much that Sykkuno could ask of Corpse that Corpse wouldn’t be willing to give him.
Fucking hell.
Sykkuno smiles and ducks his head bashfully for a second. “Oh, uh, well that’s very sweet of you. You could also call me really late, too, and I’d also answer. Or, like, I might sleep through it, but then I’d definitely call you back right away.”
Corpse laughs and unconsciously reaches up to push his hair back from his maskless face.
“You have such a nice smile,” Sykkuno continues, and Corpse feels his heart stutter in his chest, heat rising to his cheeks. “Thank you for, um-- for trusting me enough to share that with me.”
“How are you even a real person?” Corpse muses, voice gruff with a sudden rush of emotion. “I should be the one thanking you for being my friend, though.”
“I mean, I guess we could just agree that we’re both lucky to have met each other?”
“You know what? That’s a very good point. Let’s go with that.”
A comfortable silence falls between them then. Sykkuno starts fidgeting, glancing down at his hands off screen, and Corpse can tell that he’s gearing up for whatever it was he wanted to talk to Corpse about. He feels his own hands begin to shake, but he presses them between his thighs and tries to focus on keeping his breathing steady, eyes on the man in front of him.
“So, uh-- you know what you said earlier today? During, um, during stream?”
“I said a lot of things,” Corpse jokes, but he’s pretty sure he knows where this is going.
Sykkuno takes a breath, and then barrels on, eyes darting up to look at Corpse before darting back down. “Specifically the thing about knowing some, uh-- knowing some guys who might be... interested in me?”
There it is. He tries not to panic.
“Yeah. Um, what about it?”
“I was just wondering if, um-- like you weren’t joking about that, were you?”
“I’d never joke about something like that,” Corpse tries to assure him, grateful when Sykkuno actually looks at him for a second. “Why? Did you-- did you want me to be joking, or...?”
“No, no. Not at all.”
“Okay, well good. Because I wasn’t.”
“Good. I’m glad. Um, really glad.” Sykkuno smiles nervously at him. “‘Cause I wanted to ask you something else.”
“Whatever you want to know.”
“You said you knew some people. And Edison said he knew of one person in particular... And I think-- I think maybe, uh, you know who that person is too?” Sykkuno reaches up to brush back his hair from his forehead, and Corpse can see the way his hands are shaking. “Can I-- Can you tell me who they-- who he is?”
Corpse closes his eyes for a second, fear and anticipation and excitement swirling in his gut. It takes him a second to find his words again. “Uh. I guess-- uh, I guess that depends.”
“On what?”
“Is there someone you want it to be?”
Corpse opens his eyes and is surprised to see that Sykkuno is looking straight at him.
“Yes.”
Corpse lets out a nervous breath. Then he remembers what Edison had texted him earlier, and decides to finally take a risk of his own.
“Sykkuno, do you remember that time a few weeks ago when we were playing Among Us, and you accidentally accused me of being an imposter because you were thinking about me? And then I told you that I think about you too?”
“Ha! Yeah. I remember most things you say to me, to be honest.”
“Well, I wasn’t lying, or even exaggerating, when I said that. This is, like, really fucking hard for me, and I don’t want to lose you...”
“You won’t, Corpse, I promise.”
Somehow those few simple words are enough to push him on.
“I think about you. Like, a lot. I think about you when I wake up, and throughout the day. I think about you when we’re streaming together or talking, and I think about you when I haven’t talked to you in hours.”
“Corpse, I--”
“Hold on, just-- I need you to understand, Sykkuno. I don’t just think about you as my friend I like to spend time with, though you very much are. I, um, I think about your face, and your smile, and the cute nervous ticks you get. I think about your voice and your adorable laugh, and how my heart skips a beat whenever I make you giggle. And then I think about how I want to make you happy all the time, and what I’d need to do to ensure that can happen. Most of all, I think about holding your hands, and kissing you, and, well-- I do know a person who’s interested in you Sykkuno. And that person is me.”
Corpse is pretty sure he’s going to have a panic attack, or throw up, maybe both. But it’s out there now, his feelings are out there -- laid bare for Sykkuno to do what he will with the information. Distantly, he feels a vague sense of pride in his own bravery, though, no matter what happens.
Sykkuno is staring at him, looking flushed and wide-eyed, but not terrified at least.
“Corpse, holy shit,” he finally says.
Hearing a swear come out of Sykkuno’s mouth is so surprising that Corpse actually laughs, releasing a high-pitched giggle into the world. Sykkuno’s eyes somehow widen further, like he hadn’t expected to say that either, and he starts to laugh too. Thankfully, he doesn’t cover his mouth for once, and Corpse basks in the glow of Sykkuno’s happiness.
“Wow, if only I’d known that was the way to get you to swear,” Corpse jokes, “I would have confessed my feelings a lot sooner.”
“Oh Jesus, I can’t-- I can’t believe I just said that. But even more than that, I can’t believe you just said all of that to me. Wow! I mean-- that was really, like, really romantic.”
Corpse feels himself blush, but he doesn’t feel the urge to hide his face either.
“Yeah, uh. I’m not really. I don’t exactly do this kind of stuff, so...”
“Well, you’re really good at it. That’s definitely-- it’s by far the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me in my life, I think.”
“You deserve so much more.”
Sykkuno buries his face in his hands for a moment, trying but failing to hide the flush that’s overcome him. It’s a good look, Corpse thinks.
“No, you deserve even more than that. Look-- you’ve just said the most incredible thing to me, and I haven’t even said anything back yet.”
“You don’t need to say anything back.”
“I do, though. Not ‘cause I have to, but because I want to. When we first met, I mostly thought you were just memeing with me. I didn’t know if you really liked me much. But the more I got to know you, the more I wanted to know about you. Not, like-- not in a creepy way or anything. Just that talking to you and playing games with you made me happy, and I wanted to know more about who you were. And then my chat would tell me things. Like how you wanted to talk to me more but were shy. Or, um, when you were upset that you killed me first that one time. You were always telling me how proud you were of me, and laughing at all my terrible jokes--”
“Your jokes are amazing, you take that back.”
Sykkuno giggles at that. “Sorry, I’m really bad at this. I just-- I think about you a lot too. And I really like you. Like, a lot. I think you’re so amazing, and sweet, and talented. Also incredibly handsome and funny, but I think maybe I’m, uh, a little biased there. Yeah, so anyway-- I want to give you hugs and run my hands through your hair -- ‘cause it looks really soft and fluffy -- and also kiss your face. If you’d be okay with that, of course.”
Corpse feels like his face is going to burst from smiling so much, and he desperately wishes that Sykkuno was right in front of him instead of being stuck behind a computer screen. What he wouldn’t give to be able to kiss this ridiculous man right now...
“I would very much be okay with all of that, Sykkuno.”
“Oh. Okay. Well, that’s good. I’m happy.”
“Me too.”
They proceed to smile at each other for several more minutes like a pair of teenagers with a crush. Which, in some ways, maybe isn’t so far from the truth.
“I wish you were here in front of me instead of on the computer,” Corpse finally admits.
“I mean, I could be,” Sykkuno says with a wink. And then, “Yeah, me too. But maybe soon we can, uh, arrange to meet?”
Corpse nods and grins. “Yes, definitely. The sooner the better, too.”
“Okay, well we should probably get some sleep. Text me in the morning when you get up, though?”
“Of course. Good night, Sykkuno.”
“Sleep well, Corpse,” Sykkuno says, giving him an adorably awkward wave as he signs off.
Just before going to bed, Corpse decides to send one last text.
To: Edison
Took your advice. It went well. Tell you more tomorrow. Thanks for having my back!
Fin