Archive of Our Own ^beta

Seokmin met Joshua on accident really. 

And it's not like he didn't know him already but that was different. He knew Joshua as the guy on the third row from the left in his English class who always got the best grades and apparently didn't like Seokmin for some reason. On the first day Seokmin had tried to be friendly,which he always was, and say hi to Joshua but he had just looked at him, lifted his stupidly cute glasses on his nose and turned his head like Seokmin was nobody.

Seokmin was not bitter about it,he was not the type of person. In fact he found him ridiculous, honestly. Joshua was both smart and attractive, which apparently had built some kind of superiority complex and he was thinking he was too good for Seokmin's greetings.

It's fine, it's not like he cared. 

However he was surprised to see Joshua on the other side of the room with a red plastic cup in hand, talking to a guy Seokmin reckoned he usually saw while passing the football field. 

Joshua looks bored, to say the least. He has leaned on the doorframe and the football guy is across him on the other side, blocking the entrance to the kitchen. Seokmin sees Joshua just nodding occasionally to the things his companion is saying, looking around or blandly shaking the content of his drink. 

Joshua looks good but very out of place. His platinum blonde hair had a pinkish tint to it under the red lights coming from the ceiling and he's wearing, what Seokmin supposed, was a golden silky shirt with the first few buttons opened. His legs were wrapped in leather and the many rings on his fingers made them look long and weirdly attractive.

Seokmin watches how Joshua leans to whisper something into the guy's ear and wonders why his breath hitches like that. He sees the guy nod with annoyance, his smile turning into a frown and Joshua giving him his cup to hold. 

Their eyes meet when Joshua passes him, Seokmin doesn't bother to smile at him this time. Joshua held his gaze for one,two, three seconds and was gone from the room.

What does Joshua find in that guy so he was good enough for his time anyway? Sure he was handsome, if you like tall buff dudes that looked more like a Hollywood portrayal of a college student than a real one. Really, if you look deep enough his hair colour doesn't suit his skin complexion, his smile is weirdly unproportional and he is putting something in Joshua's cup.

What? 

Surely everyone saw that. Right?

Wrong. 

Seokmin gets up from the couch he was sharing with a couple aggressively making out and a guy who had fallen asleep after his eleven-ish shot. He checks in the living room, the bathroom, the bedroom (big mistake!) and was just about to give up when he saw a familiar silhouette on the other side of the window where the emergency staircase was. 

"Found you.'' He yells over the loud music as he climbs over the window and closes it. 

"Didn't know you were looking for me." Joshua says as he puts the cigarette to his lips and takes a long drag. The rings around his fingers reflect the street lights and he looks way too underdressed for the weather outside.

"Is the guy you were talking to your boyfriend?" 

"Boyfriend?" Joshua says after a snicker and taps the butt of the cigarette.

"I'm sorry I thought you are-" Seokmin starts.

"I am." Joshua cuts him off and stands up. "What do you want, Seokmin?" 

"You know my name?" 

"We have a class together." Joshua says with the same annoyed look he has whenever their teacher has to explain something for a third time. His gaze is sharp, helped by the smudged black eyeliner around his eyes.

"The guy you were talking to put something in your cup, thought you should know if you were planning on hooking up with him." Joshua looks unamused as he takes one last drag and puts out his cigarette. His eyes travel over Seokmin's body and he suddenly regrets his choice of, well everything.

"I was planning on leaving actually, want a ride?" 

"With who?" 

"Me? I didn't have alcohol."

"I'm actually not supposed to be home for the next two hours at least." He scratches the back of his neck. 

"I see."

"Yeah." 

⋘ ──── ∗ ⋅◈⋅ ∗ ──── ⋙

So he ends up crashing over at Joshua's place. 

More like Joshua's bed.

Okay Seokmin may have hooked up with him, accidentally. 

Well the first time was, the other two were really intentional, like really.

Seokmin was surprised when Joshua had missed the turn which led to his university's dorm room buildings but he didn't say anything. It was a quiet ride, the only sounds were coming from the radio playing songs Seokmin didn't understand the lyrics to. Joshua was next to him, looking straight ahead at the road and not sparing him a glance, which was fine, it's not like he ever did. It felt familiar actually. Seeing him without his glasses was the more shocking part. He looked good either way but there was something in the way his gaze looked with his eyeliner and the glow of the exposed skin of his collarbones,  the way his lips had the most pretty curve Seokmin has seen and the way his fingers held the steering wheel tightly.

And he was staring, yep definitely. He turns around and looks through the window until he is too bored,then he looks around the car, over the few buttons on the panel and his door and asks a few questions that he usually heard about cars, which were answered with one or two words. It was ridiculous, he didn't understand what horses meant because he didn't have a license and was apparently not getting one soon.

Joshua quickly finds a parking spot and puts his hand behind Seokmin's seat as he looks back to park, which definitely shouldn't get him excited but it does. His neck looks soft and extremely biteable and Seokmin hasn't really noticed because he usually wears sweaters and jackets to class but his chest and arms look strong. 

"You like it?" Seokmin hears Joshua say, taking him out of the embarrassing and horny thoughts that were starting to form in his mind.

"What?" 

"The car, you seemed interested." Joshua says with a smirk and Seokmin thinks of slapping himself for drooling over a guy that's way out of his league and is only nice to him  out of pity probably.

"Uh, yeah, it's neat." He mutters and immediately regrets it, who says neat anymore? 

He follows Joshua into the building and into the elevator. It's too small for Seokmin's liking, he is looking straight ahead at the door while Joshua is at his side, leaning on the wall and running his eyes over his body like before. He's too close and too hot and Seokmin hates the fact that he was living on the last floor.

Joshua's apartment is nice, From what it looks like it's just one big room, judging by the bed in the corner and the "kitchen" across from it. The ceiling was slopped and there were two big windows on both sides. There's a little couch next to a shelf with books ordered by colour and a desk covered with art supplies. Seokmin looks around dumbfoundedly, somehow this felt like Joshua, from the dim yellow lights to the smell of wood and cinnamon scented candles. 

"You draw?" He asks, looking at the tripod which held a canvas  painted with messy splashes and strands of paint.

"I'm an Art major Seokmin." Joshua says calmly. Of course Seokmin knew that but Joshua doesn't need to know. He watches as Joshua opens a bottle of red wine and pours some into a tall glass.

"I thought you didn't drink." He asks nervously, stepping aside from the confusing painting and sitting at the couch. 

"I don't drink the cheap stuff they had at the party." He says, swirling the wine in the cup like he previously did. He had rolled up his sleeves and was leaning on the small plot, one leg over the other. "How much did you drink?"

"A few shots." 

"Few?"

"Six. But I'm good, it was a while ago." Joshua hums consideringly and pours a second glass. He walks carefully to the couch, his footsteps muffled by the carpet and sits next to Seokmin on the couch, giving him the second glass. Joshua clinks his glass with a wink and Seokmin tries to not have a heart attack. He  slowly sips his wine, it really does taste better than the stuff at the party.

Silence. Joshua has his legs up on the couch, poking at Seokmin's hip with one of his knees but he doesn't acknowledge it. He was quietly staring down at his glass with Joshua's eyes on him again. Seokmin felt like this was the longest he has looked at him,even compared to all the months at class combined.

"The painting looks strange." Seokmin says and mentally slaps himself for the second time tonight. He expects a snarky comment or even to be thrown out but all he hears is Joshua's laugh. He actually laughs. Seokmin doesn't remember hearing him laugh like that and it's such a beautiful sound. 

"I'm trying out a new technique." Joshua places his glass on the ground and leans closer. He cards his fingers through Seokmin's hair and it feels so fucking nice. He closes his eyes and leans back into the touch. "Have you heard about Pollock's style Seokmin?" 

And fuck does his name sound good coming from Joshua's lips.

"No, but you can tell me about it." Joshua leans even closer and strokes Seokmin's thigh. He opens his legs easily and is awarded with a squeeze on the inside. It's enough to quicken his heartbeat and trouble his breathing. Joshua is pleased, reaching to take his glass and put it next to his on the ground.

"Really?" Joshua says into Seokmin's ear so he nods enthusiastically. Joshua looks at him again and drags his fingers painfully slow from his knee to his crotch. "It's a form of action art where you use your whole body to paint."

"Tell me more." Seokmin says and meets his eyes, Joshua uses his palm to grind down. He lowers himself and pecks Seokmin's lips gently. 

"Do you want this Seokmin?" Joshua says against his lips so Seokmin leans to kiss him again but Joshua avoids it and shakes his head." I need words." 

"I-yeah, i really do." Seokmin says and gets his kiss. Joshua's lips taste like wine and feel soft against his. His hand is still at his crotch, pressing down slow and teasing. Seokmin let himself be kissed rather than doing the kissing. He didn't want to risk pushing Joshua off if he appeared too into it. Which he definitely was. He parts his lips when Joshua's tongue draggs over his bottom lip and breathes when he pulls away. Their breaths collide into one and Seokmin can't believe Joshua Hong kissed him.

Joshua pulls him into his lap then and puts his hands on his thighs again, stroking him up and down slowly. Seokmin lowers his face and initiates a kiss, moving closer until their bodies are pressed together. It's nice, he could feel every curve, every movement Joshua makes. He parts his lips eagerly and waits until Joshua gives him more. He moves his hands over his chest slowly and puts his palms on the back of his neck. Joshua licks into his mouth slowly and moves his hands to rest on Seokmin's waist instead. Seokmin moves his hips and feels Joshua's lips curving up so he does it again. Joshua takes off his shirt and Seokmin doesn't have time to feel self-conscious because Joshua  starts kissing under his Addams's apple and over his collarbones. Seokmin's hands travel to unbutton Joshua's shirt too, which was kinda hard to do with his lips on his neck. 

He succeeds eventually and pushes the shirt over Joshua's shoulders, who helps him by removing his hands from his waist but only for a moment. He lifts Joshua's chin and pecks his lips with delicate little kisses until he pulls away to look at him. He strokes his ribs and his hands follow his eyes, touching over his chest and then pulling Seokmin for a kiss again. Seokmin thinks he hears him say pretty under his breath but that's probably just a fragment of his imagination. Seokmin's fingers travel down to his belt and he moves his hips again.

"Can I suck you off?" He says against Joshua's lips as his breath hitches. 

"I obviously won't say no. Obviously ." Joshua says with a little laugh at the end and Seokmin thinks he definitely likes Joshua's laugh. It's soft and cute. 

"Just checking." Seokmin says and takes one more quick kiss before undoing Joshua's belt and taking off the rest of his clothes, tossing them on the ground. He kneels between Joshua's legs, who sinks lower on the couch. The carpet is soft under his legs.

He leans forward to kiss the skin on Joshua's lower stomach and runs his hands over Joshua's legs, trying to ignore the feeling of insecurity on the back of his mind. His fingers are cold from the glass so Joshua trembles at the first touch. He looks up at Joshua who was already looking down on him and he's just so beautiful. Seokmin takes him into his hand and strokes a few times, not breaking  eye contact and feels proud of himself when Joshua closes his eyes and makes the quietest of sounds, his pretty lips parting to breathe. He lowers himself and closes his lips around the tip, eager to hear more.He teases his tongue around just like he knew people liked him to and is happy to receive a quiet moan. He likes the weight in his mouth and wants more so he sinks his head down slowly and hollows his cheeks. He feels Joshua's fingers in his hair and welcomes them with a swift swirl of his tongue, he knew it was mostly for him to ground himself but he had always been sensitive to touch and craves it. Joshua pulls his hair and Seokmin moans unconsciously, the vibrations making Joshua twitch.

"Yeah?" Joshua says after he pulls his hair again so Seokmin looks back at him and nods weakly, only the tip in his mouth. 

He proceeds with his previous actions and establishes a good rhythm, reminding himself to breathe through his nose. Every time Joshua pulls his hair he moans, he really enjoys that part. Joshua buckles his hips up unintentionally at one particularly good movement from his tongue so Seokmin holds him down and hums in response to his apology. He takes him deeper to the point that he feels his gag reflex alarming so he  pulls away, deciding that the movements and flicks of his tongue are enough.He closes his eyes and just enjoys the moment, one of his hands is over Joshua's lower stomach and the other is stroking in rhythm where his mouth doesn't reach.

"I'm close." Joshua pants after a while. He was clutching the armrest on the couch with his other hand. 

Good .

Seokmin proceeds to move his tongue and head but faster, feeling his own arousal under his belly, working him until he feels his body tensing up. He releases most of him and keeps just the tip into his mouth, circling and teasing his tongue over it leaving the rest to his hand. Joshua comes into his mouth quickly after and the taste has never been his favourite but he isn't mad at it. He pulls Seokmin's hair again and he gets the memo, releasing him. He looks at Joshua and licks the corner of his mouth where a few drops have escaped. 

"Fuck." Joshua mumbes and leans down for a kiss and Seokmin is glad he is not from the people grossed out by it. Joshua kisses him eagerly, his tongue exploring his mouth and definitely tasting himself on Seokmin's lips. " Which way do you want?" Joshua asks then and Seokmin really has to think this through because this is once in a life opportunity. 

"I don't care. Either. Both?" Seokmin says eventually and Joshua looks at him surprised but then smiles and strokes his cheek. 

"Okay, both." Joshua says and stands up, taking Seokmin's hand and leading him to the bed.He helps Seokmin undress with a little content smile on his lips before pushing him back on the bed and crawling on top of him. The sheets are soft and the pillow under his head is fluffy and comfortable. Joshua kisses him slow and fervent, moving his hand under his chin to guide him. Joshua moves his legs so they are caging his hips and Seokmin could feel him reaching up but doesn't break the kiss. He finds the stuff easily and puts them next to the pillow. Seokmin usually hides those things under his bed from his roommate but Joshua lives alone and probably has people over every night so easy access was a necessity. Seokmin doesn't like this thought so he pushes it away. Joshua pecks his lips one last time and drags his thumb over his wet mouth before lifting himself and reaching for the little bottle of lube. He coats his fingers and reaches behind himself, biting his lip at the feeling. He tries to climb off Seokmin so it's easier but he reaches up to hold his hips so Joshua just spreads his legs more, determined to make it work somehow.

It's really fucking hot, the way his breath twitches and how his skin looks, golden under the dimmed light of the night lamp. His spine curves elegantly and he was squeezing Seokmin's thigh with his other hand for balance. Watching him was amazing but doing it for him was probably even better. 

"Can I help you?" Seokmin says and stands up, taking the bottle.

"You don't have to."

"I want to." 

Joshua lets him and Seokmin works him open with his fingers, holding his waist tightly with his other hand. Joshua has his arms wrapped around his neck and his lips are close to Seokmin's ear so he hears every breath and little moan escaping his mouth every time his fingers press in.He pulls back and kisses Seokmin hungrily at the third, moving his hips and fucking himself on his fingers. Joshua is a really good kisser, a phenomenal one in fact. Every movement of his tongue was in place and his lips fit perfectly with his. Seokmin thought he could spend an eternity just like that. He ignores the little pain in his hand from the awkward angle and scissors his fingers.

He lets out something between a moan and a sign of relief when Joshua finally reaches between them and strokes him.He opens the condom and eases it down without breaking the kiss, smiling when Seokmin whines at the speed of his hands. Seokmin pulls out his fingers and wipes them from the sheets, placing now his both hands over his hips. Joshua is slightly taller than him like that so has an easy access to his neck and takes full advantage of it. His lips drag over his collarbones to his neck, it's really tempting to mark him up but he doesn't.

Joshua lines himself and sinks down all at once, bottoming out and now fully sitting on his lap.He whimpers quietly but Seokmin hears it and his hands tighten over his hips protectively on instinct.

"Are you o-" Seokmin starts but Joshua puts a finger over his mouth to shush him and his lips curve upwards. 

"Feels good."Joshua says and gives an experimental roll of his hips. "Very good." He says, rolling his head back and bittes his lip again. Seokmin feels like he's gonna go insane. Joshua pushes him back gently so he's lying on his back again and Seokmin puts his hands over his thighs.

Joshua starts moving, slow at first, which was good because otherwise Seokmin would definitely be gone quickly. He moves his hands and intertwines their fingers on his thighs,which weirdly feels more intimate than anything they have done.

Seokmin feels his muscles fully relaxed, having left his body completely under Joshua's mercy. He watches him from above and his gaze is slightly hooded but warm nevertheless. It's still strange, having Joshua looking at him but he likes it, his cheeks feel warm after Joshua smiles at him. It's comfortable, it's not really like any other hook up he has had before. Usually he's drunk, it ends quickly and he doesn't remember most of it. Now he feels like he could let Joshua ride him like that, slow but intense for eternity. Joshua is clearly having a good time too based on his cute smile and soft moans escaping from his lips once in a while.   Seokmin had never thought he would even spare him a look , what was left for letting him have his body like that. But he must have done something really good in a previous life because Joshua starts gradually speeding his rhythm and he feels out of this world. Joshua moves down to kiss him quickly and pins his hands to the mattress. The angle is not the best but Joshua makes it work somehow. He holds his gaze as he rolls his hips and moves up and down, barely but enough to be appreciated. It's so fucking good but it could be better if Joshua didn't held his hands. 

Joshua likes to be the one in control, Seokmin quickly got that. He was surprised when Joshua let him open him up so easily actually but he also didn't like his hands being restricted.

He pulls his hands away without a warning and catches Joshua, who had lost his balance because of the surprising action. Joshua wraps his hands around his back without realising as Seokmin lifts them both up and pulls quickly to look at him with furrowed eyebrows.

"No." Joshua says and shakes his head pushing Seokmin down again.

"Please."  Seokmin begs and sees Joshua pout. He actually pouts and it's the cutest thing . However Seokmin holds his ground so Joshua nods defeatedly and moves his hips again. 

It escalated quickly after that, Seokmin had his hands on his hips again, helping him bounce in his lap and the feeling of their combined thrusts was incredible. Joshua doesn't kiss him but their lips were close, breaths and moans mingling into one. Seokmin learns the sound Joshua makes when he touches his spot and makes an attempt to hit it every time. It's hot, the air around them and Joshua's skin under his fingers. It's wet too, he feels the sweat drops rolling on his back and Joshua is steadily leaking against his stomach. They both reach for each other at the same time. Seokmin reaches down, between their bodies to jerk him off as Joshua  puts two of his fingers into his mouth. Seokmin thought it was okay, if that way he felt more in control and weirdly liked the feeling of having something in his mouth. He moans when Joshua pulls his hair again and rolls his tongue around his fingers just like he had done before, making Joshua close his eyes in pleasure.

Joshua comes first without a warning and with the loudest moan he had made all night. He makes a mess over both their bodies and Seokmin's hand but he really doesn't care. Seokmin works him through it until Joshua pushes his hand away but doesn't stop riding him Instead he moves his hips unforgivingly and fucks his mouth with his fingers.

"Come on Seokminnie,be a good boy and come for me." Joshua says suddenly and the combination of his fucked out voice, his fingers and him clutching around Seokmin is enough to throw him over the edge. His fingers clutch Joshua's thighs and he comes, his moan muffled by Joshua's fingers. Joshua rides him until it's too much and he's shaking his head for him to stop.

He takes out his fingers and wipes the drool on the side of his mouth with his thumb, then pecks his lips. Seokmin wraps his hands around him and lays them both back, holding Joshua tightly when he tries to climb off him. He always had liked having someone to hold onto after. 

"You are incredible." Seokmin says,still a little breathless and moves his fingers to stroke over Joshua's spine. He doesn't know if it is his place but frankly he doesn't care. 

"Shut up." Joshua groans against his neck.

"I really mean it." Seokmin says quieter and Joshua lifts to look at him but only for a split second before kissing him again. There is something vulnerable behind his eyes that Seokmin hasn't seen before. They kiss, calmly and gently,for a long time, Seokmin is running his fingers over every inch of skin he could and Joshua is tenderly stroking his cheek and neck with his thumb. Sometimes they would part for a breath and one of those times Seokmin nuzzled his nose with Joshua's receiving a shy smile. 

Seokmin really likes this version of Joshua. He felt real and vulnerable with his guard  down and eyes full of warmth when he looks at him. The Joshua from his class that avoids his gaze and looks down on him feels like a distant memory. The fact that he is naked and on top of him is a nice bonus too.

Joshua traces the natural lines of his face with his fingers, caressing his eyebrows and eyelids, running his finger over Seokmin's nose and over his lips, which Seokmin kissed then. It was the most incredible finish to a one night stand in his life. Sadly Joshua was probably gonna be just that, he was too smart and pretty to look at him like anything more. 

Joshua moves over him then and Seokmin eases his grip, it's probably time for him to go home anyway, he hopes Seungkwan has either thrown out his not-boyfriend-yet or they have fallen asleep. But Joshua doesn't tell him to leave, instead he kneels between his legs and takes his thighs to wrap them around his waist. 

"You still up for both?" Joshua asks and runs his hands over Seokmin's thighs. Seokmin feels himself twitch in interest so it was decided. Joshua looks sinfully good with his swollen red lips, mussed hair and hooded eyes.

"Definitely." 

So Joshua fucks him painfully slowly at first, using his fingers, then unforgivingly hard into the mattress and it's perfect. He loves being in control and in this case Seokmin needs to be taken care off and they work so well together. He still doesn't like his hands being restricted so Joshua doesn't do it, instead he is bending one of his legs enough to hurt the next day but honestly Seokmin doesn't really care and buries his head into his neck. He doesn't say anything when Seokmin accidentally scratches his back while he comes. Joshua leaves a mark on his chest, next to his nipple, just one but it's enough to make the sparks in his stomach go wild. Seokmin feels tears at the back of his eyes but he doesn't let himself cry, scared to not weird Joshua out. 

Joshua lays next to him after he comes and Seokmin goes to him without thinking, because he was always sensitive after he was the one being fucked and needed aftercare. He doesn't have too much time to overthink it because Joshua gladly wraps him in his arms and kisses his hair. .

Seokmin expects to be thrown out every moment but he doesn't. 

Instead Joshua takes wipes and cleans him then himself and pulls the duvet over both of them, spooning him tightly and Seokmin feels his hot breath on the back of his neck before he falls asleep. 

⋘ ──── ∗ ⋅◈⋅ ∗ ──── ⋙

Seokmin wakes up to someone shaking his shoulder. He covers his face with the blanket and groans, he really hates being woken up early on a Saturday. This is the day that nothing exists besides some well deserved take out and the newest episode of a kdrama. He hears a quiet giggle next to him on the bed and that is definitely not his roommate, Seungkwan usually wakes him up by yelling or throwing a pillow at him so a gentle shake on the shoulder is very unusual. He lowers the duvet so only his eyes are visible and sees Joshua looking at him. He lifts his eyebrows and smiles. 

Right Joshua. Last night happened. 

Right . 

"I'm sorry I overslept." He says and stands up to collect his clothes from around the floor. He does feel kinda embarrassed that he's naked in front of him. "I can be gone in 10?"

"You don't need to rush, I just woke up too." Joshua is probably lying, he is dressed in a robe and his eyes look awake. It's sweet that he doesn't want him to feel uncomfortable. "I'm gonna take a shower." 

"Okay, I think I can be gone before you've finished." 

"Or you can come with?" Joshua says, standing up without waiting for an answer. Seokmin is left confused in the middle of the, well not exactly bedroom but close enough, holding his clothes. Does he want to stay more? Stupid question of course he does, but why was Joshua nice to him, he assumed Joshua wants only to sleep with him and would want him gone first thing in the morning. 

He stops thinking with his brain and let's other parts of him guide him to the bathroom door. Apparently he’s too stupid to resist pretty boys with cute smiles but what's new?  He follows after Joshua and the bathroom is small, the shower even smaller. Joshua has already started the water so the mirrors are fogged up. Seokmin pulls the curtain and steps under the water. 

Definitely too small for two people. 

"Finally." Joshua says without opening his eyes and barely turning his head back, washing his hair from the foam of the shampoo. Seokmin feels his heartbeat quicken at the sight of him like that, water running down his smooth skin,which was flushed pink from the heat. His back muscles flex due to the movements of his hands and his fingers still look nice even without all of the rings. He feels a sudden rush of boldness and steps closer, wrapping his hands around his waist and kisses Joshua's nape. He lets his hands explore when Joshua doesn't pull away and strokes his chest, around the sides of his waist slowly and leaves a track of kisses from his neck to his shoulder. Joshua leans into the touch and rests his body against him. Seokmin hears him hum, though it's barely audible over the running water. 

He moves his lips to kiss the place under his ear and feels Joshua tremble in his arms. He laces their fingers and rolls his head back to rest against  Seokmin's shoulder and moves both their hands down. Seokmin happily touches him, glad he hasn't got this whole thing wrong. 

''Do you wanna-?" Seokmin says against Joshua's ear receiving a nod. " I'll go grab the stuff." 

"In my pocket." Joshua says but doesn't release the grip on his hand. Thankfully the bathroom is small enough so Seokmin reaches easily.

"You know we need-"

 "Here." Joshua interrupts and gives him a little bottle he has gotten from behind the bottles of shampoo and shower essentials. A different one. "I, uh, get lonely sometimes." 

It's cute. It shouldn't be but it is. It's kinda hot too.

Seokmin nods and kisses his cheek without thinking. Joshua looks down after that and Seokmin doesn't know if what he did was wrong but Joshua doesn't say anything and isn't releasing his hands so it's alright at least. Seokmin shuts up after that and focuses his attention on fingering him, Joshua has his head rested against the wall and is biting his lips. He still holds his hand and  only talks when he's ready for one more finger. It's not long before he says he's okay but he doesn't seem too enthusiastic about it. 

"Are you alright?" Seokmin asks, pulling out his fingers and opening the plastic with his teeth. 

"I am, just go on with it." Seokmin breathes, he really doesn't feel okay doing it if Joshua wasn't fully sure. "Actually I kind of don't like that."

Seokmin panics.

"Can you turn around, I-" Seokmin says, takes Joshua's hand and turns him gently. "I wanna see your face." He lifts up his chin with his fingers. " What's wrong?"

Joshua's eyes soften and he squeezes his hand. "That, I wanted to see you."

Seokmin cups his face with both hands and kisses him, for the first time since they had woken up. Joshua sighs into the kiss and wraps his hands around his waist. They kiss for a while, Seokmin feels way more good and less nervous with Joshua returning his kisses and guiding the kiss however he likes. 

Seokmin cages him between the wall and his body and wraps his hands under his thighs and picks him up. Joshua whimpers against his lips and breaks the kiss to wrap his hands around his shoulders and look at him.

"You sure?"

"Definitely. Okay?" 

"Perfect." Joshua hums and it's hot, physically hot in the shower. He kisses Joshua again and slips inside slowly, finally. He drinks the moan Joshua makes and it's so delicious against his lips.

It's slow, hot and so raw. Joshua holds onto him tightly and he still has control over the kiss and Seokmin let's him guide the speed, he doesn't move faster if Joshua doesn't demand it, which he does almost instantly, and he feels like they stay under the shower for hours. Seokmin feels his legs and hands start to ache but doesn't let go, to pent up onto the idea of making Joshua feel good. The water is muffling down the sounds of their moans and Seokmin wonders if Joshua is cold glued to the wall with no chance of the water reaching him. 

"Say something, please. " Seokmin whispers and his voice breaks as he buries his head into his shoulder. He tightens his grip on Joshua's thighs around him enough to leave bruises on his flawless skin. 

"What was that baby?" Joshua says and fuck. " Don't be shy, tell me what you want." He tries to speak but all that comes from his mouth is a whimper. "Do you want me to tell you how good you feel inside me?'' Joshua cards his fingers through his hair and pulls his head back. "Because you do baby, you fuck me so good, I love spreading my legs for you." Seokmin is about to cry for the second time.

He really doesn't know if he would get to have him again like that so he is determined to make it memorable enough as he speeds up his thrusts. Joshua runs his thumb over his bottom lip,again, and opens his mouth. No one has ever done that to him and he's surprised he finds it so hot. Joshua sucks his bottom lip and bites it. "You taste so good." He says and it's between two moans and Seokmin is close.

He feels such a relief when Joshua moves his hand to touch himself between their bodies. He comes quickly after a few flicks of his wrist and the water washes it off.  Joshua kisses him again and the squeeze it's too much so Seokmin is coming quickly too. He buries his head into Joshua's neck and resists the urge to bite at the skin of it again. 

"Do you want coffee?" Joshua asks after he's finally on his feet and rests his head back on the wall. Seokmin is still holding him because otherwise he would definitely fall. They both smile and it's really fucking nice. 

"I don't really drink coffee." Seokmin says." Tea?" Joshua nods. 

They finish showering and Joshua goes to make them both drinks. Seokmin checks his phone after drying himself with a towel. 

Fuck. 

Seven missed calls. 

He calls Seungkwan's number. He picks after the fourth ring. 

"Seokminnie-" He says with a hiccup, he's crying.

"I'm on my way sweetheart." He says and feels like he dresses himself at a lightning speed. He says a quick goodbye to Joshua and flies out of the door. He has to get to his best friend as quickly as possible. 

⋘ ──── ∗ ⋅◈⋅ ∗ ──── ⋙

Okay what he did was a little dumb. By little he means a lot. He thinks about Joshua all weekend basically, he thinks about him when Seungkwan falls asleep cuddled next to him on the bed, he thinks about Joshua when he goes in the shower, he thinks of Joshua while they are watching movies to the point that Seungkwan was starting to suspect something was up. Seokmin brushes off his questions because he really doesn't want to tell anyone about their one night stand before talking to Joshua first. 

He wants to call him on Sunday afternoon but realises he doesn't have his number and doesn't want to ask people for it, it doesn't seem right. 

"Are you even listening to me?" Seungkwan asks and pouts across from him. It's Monday and Seungkwan has picked him up after his last class for lunch slash dinner at the Chinese place close to their dorms.

"Sorry." Seokmin says and stirs his noodles. In any other case he would be happy for the free meal his best friend was treating him but he just couldn't stop overthinking. 

"You've been distracted this past two days, are you sure it's just school stuff?" Seungkwan says, sipping his iced coffee. He thinks about telling him for a split second but decides against it and just nods. "So.." 

"No." 

"You don't even know what I was about to say." Seungkwan pouts again, placing down his chopsticks and crossing his arms. 

"I know whose name you are gonna say." 

"But he waited for me this morning before class and apologized. I think he's really sorry this time." Seungkwan says and Seokmin sighs. It's not that he doesn't like Hansol, he really does actually, he's a good kid but he has his own issues. Everyone does and it's okay but Seokmin would prefer if his best friend stays aside at least until he figures himself out.

"You said that last time too." 

"I know but-"Seungkwan buries his face into his hands and sighs. "I really like him. Like really." 

"I know that but I'm just worried about you Kwannie." Seokmin felt really protective when it came to Seungkwan. They had been best friends for a really long time and have gone through a lot together, so the fear of having to hold him while he cries into his shoulder again is always there. 

"He said he likes me too, he's just not ready for a relationship of this kind yet." Seungkwan says.

"And you really can't get yourself some other pretty boy that will not surely break your heart." He asks but he knows the answer. Weirdly he kinda knew how that felt.

⋘ ──── ∗ ⋅◈⋅ ∗ ──── ⋙

Thursday comes and goes and Seokmin feels like shit. He had been waiting all week for his English class to talk to Joshua. The week had been painfully slow too, his classes were more tiring and boring than usual and the fact that he had an exam on Wednesday didn't help. 

He had been… distracted . To say the least. Every day whenever he spaces out in class his thoughts take him to a boy with blonde hair and pretty lips. 

So when Thursdays finally comes he's buzzed with energy from the thrill of having the chance to talk to Joshua again, or maybe it were the three energy drinks he has before lunchtime. He's not sure. 

When it's finally time he goes early and takes his place and waits. Waits and waits and waits and Joshua doesn't come. He doesn't show up late with the excuse of missing the bus or oversleeping. 

It's fine, Seokmin tells himself. But it's not. The English class is the only time he has  a chance of seeing him really. Joshua was an Art major which meant he went to totally different classes than Seokmin and in totally different buildings. 

He is in a bad mood throughout all of the lecture and when he comes home he has a minor fight with Seungkwan about dirty clothes on the floor. He doesn't usually get mad and doesn't like arguing with people, especially his best friend, but somehow he couldn't help it.

Then Friday came and after that the weekend. Seokmin declines an offer from his friend Mingyu from Economics for a little party at his friend's house. He doesn't want to go to a party, all he wants to do is stay home alone, eat junk food and binge some cringy tv shows.. 

So he does just that on Friday night and all day on Saturday until Seungkwan nudges him out of bed .

"I told you to leave me alone, I'm not getting up until Monday morning." Seokmin says and pulls back his blanket from Seungkwan's annoying grip. 

"Fine." Seungkwan says and pulls out his phone. Finally some peace. " Done, Hansol is coming over and I'm not going out too." 

"Nooo." Seokmin groans. He doesn't want to be a third wheel on Seungkwan's not-date with his not-boyfriend(yet). Again. "Please go out and have fun, it's not worth staying home on Saturday night."

"That's what I'm saying." 

So he ends up being a third wheel. Again. 

Hanson comes over quickly and brings pizza along, which was welcomed. Greatly. They start a movie but get bored of it quickly so Seokmin is now watching them play a game he doesn't understand. He can scroll through his social media for that long so he opts for doing his assignments for English class, a few days in advance too. He really has to try and catch up on the missed material.

"Hey, you are like half-American right?" Seokmin asks after an hour and gets an interested nod. "So you know English?" A nod again. " Thank God, can you check for any mistakes, I have this essay to write for my English class." 

"Sure man." Hansol gets up from Seungkwan's bed and gets a chair to sit next to Seokmin. He grabs a pen and reads over the words quickly, quicker than Seokmin ever could. He was good at understanding what people were saying but still had trouble expressing his thoughts and talking. 

"It's good, sometimes you get  the tenses mixed up but that happens even to me ." Hansol gives him his paper back with a gummy smile. He had corrected the mistake with a pencil which was kinda pointless because Seokmin had to rewrite the whole thing obviously. " I have a friend taking English, maybe you know him?" 

"What's his name?" Seokmin says, he probably does, he liked being friendly to everyone and knew the names of all his classmates. 

"Joshua." Seokmin stops writing his name on the new sheet and looks at Hansol. He might have mistaken his shock for confusion because he continues. "He is around my height and has blonde hair." 

"Oh he definitely knows Joshua." Seungkwan speaks instead and they both turn to look at him. He looks up from his phone when he noticed their gaze on him. "What? You do, you talk about him all the time."

"I do not." Seokmin says defencefully. He doesn't know why he feels embarrassed of  Hansol knowing that he had mentioned Joshua one or two times. 

"You definitely do, about how rude he is for ignoring you and him being full of himself just because he's good at English." Seokmin really wanted to shove a sock in his mouth to shut him up. Okay maybe it wasn't one or two times but a few. "I think you lowkey have a crush on him." This time the eyes are on Seokmin and he shakes his head. It's ridiculous, he definitely does not. He's mad at Joshua and really needs to talk to him to clear things up but that was it. Would it be too weird if he asks Hansol for his number, he has to have it since they are friends?

"You like guys ?" Hansol says and Seungkwan bursts into laughter. Seokmin throws a rubber at him.

"I do." Seokmin says. "Girls too. But not Joshua." Definitely not Joshua. 

⋘ ──── ∗ ⋅◈⋅ ∗ ──── ⋙

Seokmin walks into the lecture hall and sits at his usual place next to the two cute Chinese boys that were always nice to him and apparently had both somehow failed their class application forms and were forced to take English too. Seokmin still couldn't figure out if they were a couple or not but at this point he was too embarrassed to ask.

He was just about to ask them about their days before he saw Joshua walk in. He was wearing a big beige coat and the cutest matching beret . He closes the door and stops to talk to the girl a few rolls back and he seems like he's in a good mood. Seokmin tries not to stare but it's not working. 

Then Joshua looks at him and Seokmin's smile falls from his face. Joshua's eyes are on him for half a second with the same annoyed look he always has around him and passes him like they are strangers. 

Seokmin is left to stare at his neck for the next two hours. Neck he had his lips on little over a week ago. He feels his head start to hurt and his heartbeat strangely increases. His palms are sweating and he feels really hot. 

Why did he do that? Sure he was always cold to Seokmin before and it sucked then too but it feels like hell now.  However after their night together, which in Seokmin's opinion went really well, like really , why was he cold again all of a sudden. Seokmin would get it if Joshua wants to just forget it and to never speak of it again but he at least deserves a hello, after all his legs had hurt for the next two days and the hickey on his chest had faded just a few days ago. 

He brushes off his friends questions if he's okay and he just stares. This was definitely not the way he imagined the next time he sees Joshua. Well his imagination included being alone and preferably naked but that's another story. 

The class ends and Seokmin comes to the earth just because Minghao is asking him to move so he and Junhui could get out from behind the desk to leave. He moves and watches Joshua talk with their teacher in fluent English and definitely doesn't remember his voice being wrecked and moaning into his ear. Joshua again walks past him without acknowledging his existence and it sucks. 

Seokmin prays that the ground underneath his feet opens up and swallows him.

⋘ ──── ∗ ⋅◈⋅ ∗ ──── ⋙

 Having Joshua in his class is very bad. Very . In the next three weeks he manages to get over his head and into his lectures and regular classes except- 

Except the class he shares with Joshua. There are two options really. Either he's confused and angry at Joshua because he still pretends Seokmin doesn't exist. He tries to replay his memory, tries to think back if he had said or did something wrong but there was nothing he sees as that bad to earn himself the silent treatment. Thinking back leads him to the second option, of remembering the way Joshua's lips tasted and felt against his, the way he had wrapped his legs around him tightly or the way he looked on top of him, working him up relentlessly, the way he had smiled into their kiss and the sweet sounds of his moans. Seokmin really thought about these things a lot and tried to suppress him in his mind at least until he was home, preferably under the shower. He really doesn't want to pop a boner in the middle of his teacher explaining the roles and obligations of the royal family.

"That's for today's class. Have a lovely day." His professor says in English. The room fills with noises of students leaving the room quickly. Seokmin was proud of himself, he had actually managed to do half of the task correctly and listened to most of the lecture. The decision to sit in front so that he doesn't distract himself is the best he had lately. "Joshua-sshi can you stay for a moment please." She says and Seokmin stands up to collect his stuff as quickly as possible, if he doesn't pay attention to him he will not be thinking of him. He's just about ready and is sliding his backpack over his shoulder. "Seokmin-sshi you too." 

Fuck .

He turns slowly and walks to the desk. He doesn't acknowledge Joshua standing next to him. He looks straight to his professor and watches her shuffle through a pile of papers painfully slowly.

"Seokmin-sshi I'm really disappointed with your last exam." She says and slides the paper over the desk. He really doesn't need to see his low score again, he had checked it out online already but somehow seeing it in person feels more real. He doesn't say anything, but what can he? Defend himself by admitting he had been too distracted drooling over the guy next to him to pay attention. "That's why Joshua will help you better understand the material of the last lectures."

"What?" They say together. He looks at Joshua for a spare second and then back to her.

"It's really not necessary-" 

"It's decided." The professor says and turns back to the computer. "You have the basics Seokmin-sshi, you just need to be pushed a little and Joshua is perfect for you. He's a native speaker and I think you will have fun together."

"What's in it for me?" Joshua asks and leans over the desk to take the exam and check it out. He doesn't laugh or show reaction at all. 

"Satisfaction-" What ? " -of helping a fellow classmate." Joshua looks at her with a blank face. "How about a free pass for the next three assignments?" 

"Sounds good." He says and folds the paper, putting it in his bag. Joshua throws him a glance and reaches his hand. 

" Phone?" 

"Sorry?" 

"I need your phone number so we can schedule when to meet." Right. Right , to meet and study. Seokmin fumbles with his backpack and gives him his phone. Joshua writes the numbers quickly and texts himself before giving Seokmin his phone back. Then he's gone, leaving Seokmin dumbfounded and staring behind him for longer than he should. Again .

⋘ ──── ∗ ⋅◈⋅ ∗ ──── ⋙

Joshua calls him the next day. 

It's in the middle of his lunch with Seungkwan so he quickly makes an excuse to go to the bathroom. He still hasn't mentioned anything about Joshua, especially now that he knew he was friends with Hansol. It really makes sense actually, they both had transferred from America according to Seungkwan. 

They arrange a meeting as soon as possible because Joshua has made it clear that he wants to get over with it quickly. They exclude the library because Joshua couldn't concentrate if there wasn't complete silence around him and Seokmin's dorm to avoid questions from their friends. 

That leaves only Joshua's apartment so they arrange it there. And it really it's not a big deal. 

Seokmin tells himself that all the way in the taxi and in the elevator. He breathes and repeats it before knocking on the door and repeats it one more time as he waits. 

Joshua opens up the door in an oversized hoodie in peachy pink and ripped jeans. His hair is pushed back with a headband and he moves from the door so Seokmin can come in. 

There is a new painting on the tripod, a sketch of a fruit bowl with some flowers around it. Otherwise everything was the same like the last time. He placed his backpack carefully on the couch, doubting if this is the best place,and sat on the edge, as far on the left as he could. 

"I like the painting." He says as a conversation opener, the silence in the room was really uncomfortable. 

"I don't, it's for one of my classes. "Joshua says and walks to the kitchen. "Do you want tea?" 

"It would be nice." Silence again, Joshua was right when he had wanted to get this over with quickly.

Joshua is actually a really great teacher. He  makes them both drinks and sits on the couch next to Seokmin, pulling a few sheets of paper. He had looked over Seokmin's mistakes and had looked up a few exercises to help him understand better. He explains the tasks slowly and his voice is really calming. Joshua doesn't get annoyed when he has to repeat something for the fourth or fifth time and Seokmin actually understands and pays attention to the things he's saying, he wants to have a good grade after all. He only gets distracted once or twice by Joshua's fingers while he is reviewing the exercises ,the way he scrunches his nose when his glasses start to slip down and the way he taps his bottom lip with the pen while he thinks. Joshua's voice when he speaks in English is well, hot. He talks with ease and the way he just pronounces some words is too much for Seokmin's poor bisexual heart.

"Alright, I think it's time to finish up." Joshua says and puts down the sheet of paper along with the pen." You have only missed a coma in the seventh sentence." Joshua points out with his finger and then takes off his glasses."I'm actually surprised at how quickly you understood the last two sections and why you didn't do it in class." 

"Well I-" Seokmin swallows and takes a breath. " I've been distracted." 

Joshua looks at him, really looks at him for the first time since three weeks." Don't bring it up." He shakes his head. 

"But why? It's only you and me here and I think we should talk about it." Seokmin says, leaning back on the couch  and crossing his arms. He doesn't owe him anything, much less now that Joshua had ignored him for so long. "If you regret it so much you could've just say it." He adds bitterly. 

"You really think it's my fault?" Joshua says calmly and takes the cups to place them in the sink. Seokmin follows him because he deserves at least an explanation. 

"Of course, it wasn't me who  refused to have a conversation for three weeks. " Joshua still has his back turned to him but he could see he was listening. "Or even look at me." 

"You really are delusional if you  think that." Joshua finally turns to look at him with a dangerous spark in his eyes, but his voice was still calm and collected. It drove Seokmin insane. 

"I'm delusional? You have been nothing but rude to me ever since the first class." Seokmin says raising his voice accidentally. He really didn't want to get angry but how he could not when Joshua was again watching him with his annoyed look and actually rolled his eyes. " I really don't know what I have done to get you so pressed but you need to back off."  Joshua smirked and stepped closer, so close that Seokmin could actually feel his breath if he concentrated enough. 

"Pressed, really?" Joshua snorts. "You really think you can just run this pretty mouth of yours however you want?" He says and he's so close. Seokmin freezes and needs a minute to assimilate what he has just said. Joshua is looking over his face and is making his heartbeat quicken. He leans closer and their noses are touching. "You fucked me three times and then suddenly left while I was making you tea like the biggest idiot." 

"I-" Well technically it was right but he didn't mean it to look like that. "I can explain." 

"I don't want your explanation, you are not my boyfriend." Joshua says and licks his lips. He closes his eyes halfway and looks at Seokmin one last time before stepping away. 

"It's not like that Joshua." Seokmin says and takes his hand, which he pulls away immediately. " I really have a good reason." 

"I really don't care about your reasons Seokmin." Joshua says harshly.

"So that's it, we're gonna pretend nothing happened and it's all my fault?" 

"Sounds like a plan to me." 

"Oh okay, well fuck me then." Seokmin says and walks closer to Joshua and cages him with his hands by the plot. "But for the record it was only two times. Both, remember?" He says and it's his turn to smirk. Joshua just looks at his lips and then he knows he has won.

"Shut up." Joshua sighs. 

"Make me." 

It goes without saying that Joshua does make him use his mouth for different things than talking. It happens quickly, one second Joshua is kissing him, shoving his tongue into his mouth without asking and the next he is lying on the bed, naked  on his stomach, his legs spread wide and Joshua's fingers are working him open deep inside. Joshua's shirtless chest is glued to his back and he's kissing and biting his neck, shoulder, behind his ear.  Seokmin is squeezing the sheets with his hands and biting his lip, letting out tiny whimpers once in a while when Joshua brushes over his sweet spot. He definitely isn't giving him the satisfaction of knowing he could turn him into a moaning mess just with his fingers alone, he may be desperately horny for him but he also can be really petty if he wants.

"Why so quiet baby? You weren't like that a moment ago." Joshua says mockingly into his ear and licks it. Shivers run down Seokmin's spine. 

"Thought you wanted me to shut up." Seokmin says into the pillow and moves his hips against Joshua's fingers and grinds himself as well as he could on the bed. It's really nice but if Joshua doesn't stop he'll be coming over his blue sheets sooner than later. "Your fingers feel very good." He lets himself indulge Joshua a little. 

"Do they now?" Joshua says and pulls them out and Seokmin is ready to protest but Joshua shifts himself, snaking his still wet hand under his body and wrapping it around him. It's greatly appreciated given the fact that he had been getting little to no friction there but he feels kinda empty now. All is forgotten when Joshua speeds the flicks of his wrists and Seokmin feels like he's definitely gone. He closes his eyes and opens his mouth to breathe and he's just about to come and- 

Joshua stops and stands up to sit between his legs back on the bed. Seokmin turns his head and they lock gazes for a long time. Fuck it honestly, he is ready to beg for it if this is what Joshua wants. He turns and crawls over to Joshua who watches his every move with hitched breath. Seokmin sits in his lap as well as he could in this position and kisses him slowly. He kisses Joshua with little pecs and licks and it's sweet and gentle. He has been wanting to get a taste of his lips for so long that waiting for more was tolerable. Joshua places his hands on his hips and Seokmin could feel the pressure lifting from his shoulders and his little content sigh. 

He likes that.

"I've been thinking about you." Seokmin confesses and rests his forehead against Joshua. The silence after that is not painful because Joshua squeezes his hips and pulls him closer. Seokmin waits for him.

"Yeah?" Joshua finally asks so Seokmin nods. "I've been thinking about you too." 

"Why didn't you look at me in class, I felt like shit." Seokmin says as he strokes his arms with his fingers.

"I guess I wanted you to feel like that." Joshua smiles and Seokmin slaps his arm lightly. "But if I looked at you all I thought about was you under me with your thighs wrapped around my waist or you holding me in the shower and I really need to pay attention in class, not get turned on." Seokmin definitely knows what he means.

"You acted like you hated me ever since the first class." Seokmin reminds Joshua again and he sighs. 

"I don't know if you've noticed Seokminnie but you are a very-"Joshua pauses."-captivating person. You are all smiles and sunshine during the day and at the same time you are so hot and my brain just can't process it. Plus the things you did to me." Joshua looks at him and cards his fingers through his hair. "However I really don't want a relationship right now so if that's what you are looking for I apologize." 

"I understand."It's not like Joshua had led him on so he really does understand, he wasn't even sure if he wanted a relationship too. He knew what he wanted right now though, to forget about the past few weeks and have Joshua on top of him making it happen. "It's really fine." He says and smiles at him. "But just to be clear, I didn't want to leave you that morning." Seokmin looks over his face and then over his body. "Believe me. I really had an emergency." 

"You don't have to explain anything to me." Joshua says and Seokmin gets that but still feels better after saying it. Well now that this was out of the way.

"Can you still fuck me though?" 

Joshua laughs." Sure, I can definitely do that." He says and leans forward so they are both laying on the bed again.

Joshua doesn't give him time to breathe, he quickly gets him in the mood again and is pushing into him as soon as possible. He doesn't waste time in lazy movements and Seokmin is glad about it. Joshua drank up all of his moans and the grip over his thighs was harsh but welcomed. He feels hot and sweaty all over, he was leaking over his stomach. The light from outside is long gone and Joshua's skin looks golden when he looks down between their bodies. He still doubts Joshua is real and expects to wake up with sheets to change and his roommate looking at him grossed out. 

But it's real, Joshua is doing wonders to him and is taking him into his hand to stroke him. Seokmin comes embarrassingly fast after thaf but holds onto Joshua, refusing to push him away even though the overstimulation was way too much.  He even likes the feeling of being used like that and feels like he can go again after a few moments too. But Joshua comes too with a muffled moan into his neck and bites lightly at his purple skin with a mark from earlier. It was kinda painful but weirdly hot at the same time. 

"Sorry about that." Joshua says when his breathing is slower and kisses over the bruised skin, then his lips. 

"I kinda liked it." Seokmin brushes it off and pulls Joshua flush against him. It should be gross because they are both covered with sweat and other fluids but it's not. 

"Is the tea offer still up?" Seokmin says after they have cleaned up as best as they could without moving too much and were laying face to face from each other. 

"You can stay I guess, but don't expect me to make you breakfast too." Joshua says with a smile without a bite behind his voice. 

"I happen to make mean pancakes." 

This thing between them may actually work out after all.

⋘ ──── ∗ ⋅◈⋅ ∗ ──── ⋙

Or not.

It's fine at first, amazing even. Joshua continues helping him with the English classes even though the agreement was just for a few weeks until he gets the material he has missed and Seokmin's diploma is thankful for it. Joshua is still wonderful and patient with him and his English accent is still the hottest thing. They even start doing their assignments for their other classes together.

After Joshua decides the lesson is over because he didn't allow distractions while he was explaining to him the latest lecture, they talk, sometimes eat dinner together, sometimes start a movie but in the end Seokmin always ends up into his bed in some way. Or the shower and the couch. The kitchen plot didn't really work out. Joshua even got him naked on a rug in front of a mirror that one time. It happens bi-weekly at least, often Seokmin spends the whole weekend over at Joshua's place which brought questions. 

He ends up telling Seungkwan about Joshua. He told him Joshua was helping him with his English classes because he had been struggling and they had become really close friends eventually, which technically wasn't a lie. Seokmin just kept the whole part of starting to get Bs regularly on his exams, but  Ds after that as well to himself.

Seokmin also thinks he deserves at least a thank you treat for lunch because Hansol is not "not-boyfriend-yet" anymore but Hansol "my-boyfriend" and it's usually followed by is coming over so get out , but lovingly. Seokmin hated being their third wheel before and hates it even more now. He is watching Seungkwan feed him strawberry ice cream with a little spoon and honestly wants to throw up.

"I invited Joshua to have lunch with us, hope you don't mind." Hansol says with his mouth full and Seokmin doesn't have time to even say a word as Joshua sits next to him and greets them.

"Isn't it too far for you?" Seokmin asks, not with the intention of being mean but the Art facility was furthest from the main building. 

"I have the afternoon free." Joshua says and pulls a sandwich out of his bag.  They don't talk much after that rather eat their lunches quietly and listen to Seungkwan's complaints about the disbandment of his favourite Wonder girls. Again . It's the first time they are so close to each other around other people. 

In their class they still stay away from each other but now Joshua always smiles and greets him when he arrives and before he leaves. Seokmin still sits in the front, that way he doesn't get distracted, he only thinks about Joshua when he hears his voice answering a question and tries to not remember how his voice sounds as he is moaning his name. 

"Are you sleeping over at Joshua's this weekend too?" Seungkwan asks nonchalantly and takes a loud sip with his straw from his coffee. 

"I mean sure if you want?" Seokmin directs his question at Joshua. "We don't have new material because there was a quiz yesterday but we can watch a movie or go to a party?" He says, trying to sound as calm as possible. Joshua looks between him and their friends and smiles knowingly. 

"They know Seokminnie." Joshua simply states.

"What?" Seokmin turns to look at the couple, Hansol had this awkward smile on his lips and was looking down into his cup and Seungkwan had this annoying grin on his face. "Since when?" 

"Since the second time you spent the night over, I thought I was imagining it at first but then I saw you had a few hickeys on your neck and you were walking kinda funny that one morning." He hears Joshua snort at that and nudges him with his elbow. "It was suspicious, you two becoming friends but we added two and two." Seungkwan shrugged." But the biggest clue was Hansol telling me Joshua had your face sketched out on a paper sheet, next to an almost naked one?" He half asks.

"I had an assignment and needed a model for practice" Joshua shrugs off the question. A flashback of Joshua getting him willing and excited just to leave him naked on the bed with just a piece of red silk to cover himself emerges. Joshua still refuses to tell him what class required them drawing other people like that. Also his promised award was nothing he couldn't have on a regular Friday but he wasn't gonna complain. Not at all.

They change the subject after that and Seokmin is happy Joshua doesn't seem upset by their friends knowing. He has been really sweet actually, since their first lesson and the second time they sleep together. Seokmin half expects to be treated coldly again but that doesn't happen. Joshua is actually not rude in the slightest like Seokmin thought, he never makes fun of people for making mistakes in class and sometimes he looks bored not because he thinks he's better than everyone but because he already knows the things the professor is teaching and would rather be home sleeping, to tired from pulling an all nighter again. Seokmin had asked him why he took this class and Joshua had simply answered "easy As" which was smart and made sense. Joshua was also a really fun person to talk to, his jokes were kinda weird and not always funny but he was cute so Seokmin laughed with him, he always made him tea when he slept over and actually made him breakfast sometimes despite his words. He has an annoying habit of getting up in the middle of the night to paint but doesn't get mad if Seokmin is feeling needy and pulls him back into bed, Joshua is always gentle with him after he fucks him and actually lets himself be held when it's the other way around.  He always walks Seokmin down the stairs and kisses him goodbye and replies to his texts quickly. He's usually calm and quiet, Seokmin has still yet to see him being mad and he really doubts it's even possible. 

But Joshua is not his boyfriend. He had made it very clear from the beginning and it was fine at first, until Seokmin found himself not only thinking about his body but the way his lips had the most beautiful curve or the way his eyes glowed when he was satisfied with his painting. 

So Seokmin ended up catching feelings for him which he should have not done, but he had always been too lovable of a person. 

⋘ ──── ∗ ⋅◈⋅ ∗ ──── ⋙

"I literally didn't understand a word." Seokmin says and lets the book fall to the ground next to the couch. He's laying between Joshua's legs, who is stroking his hair with his eyes closed. He had probably stayed up late again but refused to take a nap before Seokmin was done with his reading. 

"Read it again." 

"It's the third time I'm reading it, I don't think her poems are for me." Seokmin says, turning his head and nudges Joshua's cheek with his nose. " Why do we have to read poetry though, i thought English class was just vocabulary and shit." 

"Professor Kim really likes classic literature and Emily Dickinson is still one of the best American poets ‘til this day, I'm really glad you chose her too." Joshua says and picks up the book from the ground to place it on the table, then wraps his hands around Seokmin's waist and squeezes him. 

"She was the only woman on the list. " It didn't really seem fair plus he had seen Joshua's name next to the assignment topic with her and wrote his as well of course."That doesn't change the fact that I don't understand the words she uses." Seokmin intertwines their fingers on his stomach and looks at Joshua. "Can we take a little break?" He pouts.

"You still haven't finished your homework." 

"How am I supposed to choose a favourite poem and write my interpretation on it when I can't understand it." Seokmin whines.

”I think I have an idea." 

"Huh." 

"You trust me?" 

"Well yeah but-"  Joshua shushes him with a kiss then.

Joshua's brilliant idea is to get him into bed and undress him quickly and sit in his lap while he fingers him .Seokmin still doesn't get how this was connected to his homework but he's not about to complain, especially after Joshua tells him he wants him between two moans. He lays back and pulls Seokmin over him and kisses him eagerly. He waits for Joshua to turn them over but he doesn't, instead opening his legs and wrapping them around his waist.

"You sure?" Seokmin says, it's the first time ever in the two months they've spent together that Joshua lets him be on top while they're doing it.  

"I guess? We can always stop if I don't like it." Joshua says and strokes his cheek with his thumb. It probably isn't a big deal but it feels like it. Joshua is giving him full control and is trusting him to make him feel good. It was a little stressful but he doesn't think about it. He prepares himself quickly and is soon burying his head in Joshua's shoulder because it's too good, every time is but now it feels different, more personal and intimate in a way.  

" Come slowly – Eden!" Joshua says after a moan and Seokmin thinks he's hearing things but he looks at Joshua and he has this cute yet annoying grin on his face. Seokmin is a little confused but then remembers this sentence underlined with a pencil in his book. He gets the idea then. 

"Smart." Seokmin says and lowers himself to line their lips, Joshua licks into his mouth impatiently and Seokmin melts into it. "Tell me more." 

"You have to earn it." Joshua says and that sparks a little flame in Seokmin. He's always up for a challenge. He takes Joshua's thighs into his hands and nudges him closer and higher, the movement making him whimper from the friction. 

He gasps when Seokmin moves his hips and kisses his neck, slow and persistent. Seokmin burned with desire to please Joshua, to be everything he wanted. He holds Joshua's thighs firmly as he moves his hips, leisurely deeper every time. He loves the feeling, here in this place, so pure, dirty and raw where the only things that exist are solely Joshua and him.

"So pretty and delicious." Seokmin says into his ear after making a mark on Joshua's neck. 

"Lips unused to Thee –" He may not be the best in the language but he could read Joshua just by his movements so he gives him what he wants. Seokmin kisses him, wet and sloppy, in a perfect synch with his rhythm. " Bash -ah fuck- Bashful sip thy Jessamines"  Joshua's voice sound pretty in the foreign language and fucking irresistible when he swears. He reaches for Joshua's hand and intertwines their fingers next to his head. The only reaction he gets is a gentle squeeze so he continues moving his hips as before.

" As the fainting Bee-" Joshua says quietly with his eyes closed and bites his lip in concentration. It's too much already, Seokmin almost always came first when he topped because Joshua was just so good at rolling his hips and getting what he wants how he wants it while he rides him and it's destructively hot. Seokmin was always ready to offer his everything to him.  " Reaching late his flower-"  He says slowly, every word being fucked out of him and his voice sounds like a mess. They are both breathing heavily into each other's space and Seokmin feels like he's close. He let's go of Joshua's hand and places his hands under his back to lift him up with the last bits of strength he has. The angle is always better like that with Joshua in his lap and his fingers find their way into his hair. " Round her- yeah just like that- chamber hums-" He nods approvingly when Seokmin squeezes his butt and uses it to grip him and help him move up and down. The feeling is overwhelming and he really wants to kiss Joshua but wants even more to hear him talk because that means he had earned it. Joshua rolls his head back with a moan so Seokmin claims his neck, his teeth scratch the delicate wet skin as he makes his way to kiss over the mark he did earlier. Joshua had first got upset at him for leaving it on visible places the first few times but eventually stopped caring and guiding Seokmin's lips there and wearing low collared shirts the next day to show them off. It made Seokmin feel weirdly possessive, Joshua was only his to have and no one knew." Counts his nectars -ah " He says and his voice breaks at the last word, Seokmin could feel the wetness between their bodies and knows.

" Enters – and is lost in Balms ." Seokmin says into his neck and nudges him down roughly by the hips. 

"Fuck." Joshua says and pulls his hair, he comes untouched between them as he kisses him and Seokmin drinks up his moans. The pull of his hair and the squeeze become too much a moment after he is coming too, squeezing Joshua's hips  to leave marks there too."How?" Joshua whimpers as he's still riding his high, not giving up until he physically couldn't anymore. 

He slowly stops moving after s second and Seokmin is grateful because otherwise he would've to push him away and it was funny because it's the least he wanted to do at all times, infact if he could be here with Joshua forever inside his bed, apartment,him, he would without a blink of an eye. 

Joshua pulls out and falls back. He curls his spine like a kitten and runs his fingers through his damp hair. Then he makes a gesture with his finger for Seokmin to come closer and who is he to deny.  

''I tried to memorize the underlined words, that's why I recognized the poem." Seokmin answers the previous question and watches Joshua for any signs of, well, anything. 

Joshua smiles then and pulls his head close by the back of his neck. "I'm crazy about you Seokminnie." He says and kisses him. It's slow and gentle, both of them too spent for more but it's perfect. Joshua's lips are still his favourite thing and the way they move against his he sees stars. Joshua turns them and reaches for wipes to clean them up and he does that for both of them between gentle pecs. 

He kisses Seokmin's forehead and holds him tightly all night. And it's like not the first time he does it, Joshua is always nice and caring, but somehow it feels different. Better.

⋘ ──── ∗ ⋅◈⋅ ∗ ──── ⋙

Seokmin comes home in his dorm on Monday afternoon. He had spent yet another weekend with Joshua, at this point they didn't even have to discuss it, Seokmin just shows up at his apartment after his last class and Joshua always greets him at the door with a kiss and quickly pulls him inside. He doesn't pack many clothes, it's not like he needed any anyway, Joshua always let him borrow an old t-shirt and sweatpants. They took turns in cooking or ordered take out when they were too lazy, Seokmin almost burned down the apartment this one time because Joshua was distracting him with a new jacket he painted himself. Friday was just for relaxation, this time after dinner Joshua read to him a new book while Seokmin layed on top of him with his eyes closed and just enjoyed his voice. He had dozed off accidentally and woke up in the middle of the night covered with a blanket and Joshua cuddled next to him with an easy grip on his hand.Seokmin had turned, hugged him back and fell asleep again.

Seokmin opens the door to his dorm and can't wait to go to bed. He had even decided to put off laundry for tomorrow yet again so he is a little disappointed when he sees Hansol laying on Seungkwan's bed.

"Is Seungkwan in the bathroom?" Seokmin asks and drops his backpack on the ground and jumps into his bed. 

"No, I think he still has one class left before he comes home." Hanson says, he's playing a game on his phone and scrunches his nose when he loses."He said I could spend the night again." 

"Oh, I thought you only came over on the weekend." That was their unspoken agreement, Seokmin went to Joshua and Hansol came here, it worked really well for both sides.

"Yeah but my roommate Mingyu is having his boyfriend over and it's their anniversary man, so I thought I should leave them alone." 

"Didn't know he was your roommate, I share a class with him and Wonwoo." Seokmin's plans for a peaceful nap alone are apparently not gonna happen.

"Since we're alone I really want to say something." Hansol says, locking his phone and sitting up. "I'm just really glad you and Joshua met, it was time for him to meet someone new and forget about him." Well that was certainly new. 

" Him?" Seokmin asks.

"You know his ex? Back then when Josh left we weren't very close but there were rumours in school, people believed them even more after he moved here." 

"He hasn't mentioned an ex." Seokmin felt like this wasn't his place and shouldn't mess in Joshua's past without his consent.

"Shit, I'm sorry I thought-" Hansol sighs."I thought since you are dating now he had told you." Seokmin tells him it's fine after that and doesn't correct him. They were not dating of course but if Joshua had never corrected him for thinking that why should he? 

Seokmin takes a taxi to Joshua's apartment later that night. He thinks on the way there, thinks about the way this thing started, the way he had convinced himself for such a long time that he could just continue hooking up with Joshua with no feelings involved, he thinks about how that had made him fall even deeper and harder. He thinks about Joshua because well he always was lately, he thinks about the way his kisses were gentler and lingered more these days, how he was always looking for Seokmin's touch.

Joshua opens his door and smiles at him and pulls him inside by the shirt and kisses him, no questions asked like every time. His hair is pulled back with a headband and he has green paint on his cheek and nose. 

" Won't you ask why I came?" Seokmin says and smiles after Joshua releases his lips and let's him escape from where he was pressed to the door. 

"I probably manifested it, I've been thinking about you all day." Joshua says shamelessly and pulls him close by his belt. 

"Can we talk?" Seokmin asks and Joshua's expression instantly changes.

"Sure." Joshua goes to sit on the couch and Seokmin follows him. 

"Hansol mentioned something about an ex." Seokmin says after a few silent moments between them.

"Did he now?" 

"Don't be mad at him, he thought I knew because we are dating." Seokmin says the last word carefully, and watches Joshua for a reaction. He doesn't speak so Seokmin continues. "Is he the reason why you don't want a relationship?" Seokmin asks."You don't need to answer." He adds later. 

"It's fine." Joshua sighs and runs his fingers through his hair. "I guess, I moved here to be finally free and getting into a relationship would have defeated its purpose." Seokmin understood, he was a little disappointed but he understood. "But-" But? Seokmin looks up, he likes the sound of that. "I feel free when I'm with you too." Seokmin reaches slowly to take his hand and moves closer. Joshua looks at him for a long time. He takes off his headband and runs his fingers through his hair. He always does that when he's nervous so Seokmin kisses the back of his other hand, just a simple touch to show him he's there. "My last boyfriend was the only person I've dated since I came out so at first I thought it would be like the movies, he would take me on cute dates in the park or to  dinners in cheap restaurants."Joshua smiles but his eyes are full of pain. He paused and lifted his legs on the couch, still holding his hand. "I was so wrong." He laughs bitterly and shakes his head."He didn't want a boyfriend, he wanted someone to sleep with. I was only that, his little pretty doll he could fuck wherever he pleases, he never let me have an opinion and as far as he was concerned I wasn't even allowed to speak to him outside my room. At first I had hope he would change, he had this bad boy vibe going on and I thought I could change him so i put up with his attitude and hurtful words because I secretly hoped he loved me." Joshua has tears in his eyes but he doesn't let them fall, Seokmin squeezes his hands a little tighter. He looks at Seokmin then focuses on the wall behind him. Somehow it's easier like that. "It was such a lovely day, the weather was nice so I wanted to go out and draw in the park, i had heard the tulips had just bloomed and i was just about to leave when he came into my room and pinned me to the bed under him. He was stronger than me so I didn't really had a chance to even fight and it just happened, " Seokmin didn't need much details to understand what he meant by that."I'm still sad about the tulips, I had just gotten a new orange paint." Joshua whispers as a single tear falls down his cheek. 

Seokmin is speechless, he is full of rage too. He pulls Joshua in a hug slowly and kisses his hair. This is something that he hadn't even imagined happening to someone he knows, yet alone to the person he was falling in love with. It all suddenly made sense, not only Joshua not wanting a relationship but also his need to always be in charge of the situation, of his body and pleasure. This was just his way of coping with the trauma of being powerless. Even Joshua's reaction to him leaving in the morning the first time was clearer.He doesn't know what to do so he hopes being here and holding Joshua was enough.

"I feel good with you Seokminnie." Joshua says and takes his face into his palms. "I feel more free when I'm here with you than have ever felt in my life." Seokmin felt the same, maybe not free, he always had felt free, but here with Joshua he felt at place, it was where he belonged.

"In that case-" Seokmin takes a breath, he had been thinking about it for the last week since the things between them felt different. He really wanted to have Joshua, have him be fully his and show him off to the world to see. "Will you go on a date with me?"

Joshua is surprised by his question and pulls back. Seokmin's heart skips a beat in that moment. Then Joshua smiles and it's okay."A date?" Joshua teases. 

"I guess what I'm trying to say is-" Seokmin takes a deep breath, very deep." Will you be my boyfriend and let me take you out to a date in the movies or at a restaurant or whenever the fuck you want. We can even go to the park and draw tulips if that's what you like."

"The tulips haven't bloomed yet." 

"Then we'll do that in the springtime."

"Yeah okay I guess."  Joshua smiles.

"You guess?" 

"What do you want me to say? " Joshua rolls his eyes but there's no bite to it. " Of course I would be your boyfriend, it already feels like I am since you are so clingy." 

"You love it." 

"I do." Joshua says and Seokmin leans to kiss him. 

"It's not classy to kiss before the first date." Joshua says and puts his finger on his mouth. 

"Oh I would do so much more than kissing." Seokmin says and Joshua kisses him with a smile. 

Seokmin hates accidents but he didn't hate this one. Joshua may have been an accident at first but now he was the most certain thing in his life.