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The room was nothing special, pretty small, but seeing how little they were paying for it, that made sense. When Elliot got out of the bathroom he saw that Leo had sat down on the bed, and was tentatively bouncing up and down. The mattress creaked under his pathetic weigh.
-Nice – he smiled as he noticed the bathroom door being opened – Bouncy.
He shot a look at Elliot and grinned.
-Wanna break it in?
Elliot blushed. That was as forward as he could expect Leo to be, and well, he wanted to break it in, but he hadn’t bought a rose all the way to Oxford because he liked the smell of it. Yet, Leo looked so good, and they were so alone, so far for everything but each other. He sat next to him and kissed him, feeling the now almost familiar burn on his cheeks spreading all throughout his body, like the warmth of a fireplace. Leo hummed against his lips, and leaned forward, a hand sliding under Elliot’s t-shirt. His hands were freezing, as if he needed any more reasons to shiver, but the contact was so unexpected and welcome that he couldn’t help but push Leo back. Leo fell back on the bed, keeping himself up on his elbows, a smug grin of victory painted on his face, bare millimetres from Elliot’s.
-Not now – Elliot decided to say, clearing his throat. Leo looked stunned for a moment before sitting back up on the bed. He looked a bit awkward, fumbling with his hands.
-Okay – he answered, combing through his hair – Anyway, it’s a good bed. For what it’s worth.
-It is – Elliot agreed, looking around as if looking for someone before pulling him in a sweet kiss – Don’t be mad, I’m just tired from driving all day long.
Leo smiled in the kiss, and parted from him just to rub their noses together.
-I don’t need your dick that bad.
Elliot blushed hard, all the way to the tip of his ears, and stuttered a couple of syllables before producing a word.
-You suggested we…
-So – Leo said, swiftly getting away from Elliot’s grasp and bending down on his really modest fabric backpack, opening it – I don’t have a lot with me, although most of the stuff is clean…
The sight of Leo taking out those familiar jumpers from his bag made a gong sound in Elliot’s head, and he suddenly remembered everything beyond that room.
-Did we actually do it? – he asked dumbfounded, as Leo skimmed over his clothes.
-Apparently – Leo sighed, but he didn’t sound as indifferent as he wanted – …for example, I don’t have a robe.
-Leo – he called him, making him turn around – Are you okay?
-I think I’ll manage without a robe love, it’s August.
-I’m serious.
Leo bit his lip and sat down criss-cross on the floor. He looked down, tapping mindlessly at his thigh.
-I’m not sure – he said with a sigh – But if I dwell on it too much I’ll get anxious and we don’t want that.
Elliot leaned back on the bed, looking at the ceiling. He was fairly sure his card had been cut by then, but he had more than a thousand pounds cash on him, he should have been fine for a while. He ran away from his family, from his siblings, to be with him. No, not exactly, he did it to be free from an existence of pretending, and in that moment it also included Leo.
-Stop thinking so loudly, Elliot – Leo mumbled, getting up – Let’s get a good night’s sleep, tomorrow morning we’ll feel better. And if we don’t… - he continued, picking some clean clothes from the bag – You can leave me in London.
-I would never – Elliot answered, shocked that Leo would even think something like that. Leo smiled and walked over to the bathroom.
-Even better. I’ll have a shower – he said, closing the door behind him – I won’t mind if you want to join.
Elliot blushed, but he wasn’t going to join. He had other plans.
-I thought we already talked about how I feel doing those things in the shower.
Leo let out a laugh that sounded like Christmas bells, and Elliot’s stomach twitched in delight. He was only waiting for Leo to go shower so that he could set up his plan. He walked over the closet, opening it to reveal the cloudy full-length mirror. A day of driving didn’t do him any justice, his hair was messed up and he had terrible bags under his eyes. But he already planned all of this. He brought a rose for this. He fixed his hair the best he could, trying to shape it as if it was intentionally messy instead of an absolute disaster. Maybe he didn’t have to try this hard, Leo already kissed him when he was drunk, but this was different.
He stared at himself in the mirror for more than it was considered decent, and when he turned around he felt his head spin. What a sappy idiot he was, Leo wasn’t gonna like this. But the clock was ticking, and Leo didn’t have a very large body to wash, so he needed to get it done fast. He took the rose out of the backpack, finding it only a bit wilted. He started plucking petals off of it and spreading them evenly on the bed, and God he felt like an absolute idiot. Once the rose was bald he threw it back in the backpack, trying to decide if the petals were well spread. Before he could deliberate whether that was the worst idea he ever had or a nice surprise, the bathroom door opened and he turned his head around so fast it almost snapped. Leo was wearing only pants and a t-shirt, hair frizzy from drying it with a towel. And he stood in front of the bed, still as a scarecrow, looking even smaller than usual with his eyes comically wide. In that second Elliot regretted every decision he ever made.
-I’m sorry – he stuttered, and Leo burst out laughing – It’s so stupid, just… I’m sorry.
Leo was still laughing, apparently struggling to catch his breath, and Elliot had never felt so embarrassed in his whole life.
-Oh my God – Leo gasped between laughs – You are… incredible!
Elliot stuttered and tried to brush of the petals. What was he thinking, idiot…
-No! – Leo yelped, stopping his hands – No, this is so cute!
Great, just the reaction he longed for, being called cute. God what did he expect…
-No it’s so stupid I’m sorry…
-It’s not! – Leo insisted, grabbing his wrists – It’s the cutest thing anyone’s ever done for me.
Elliot wanted to answer insisting that he was wrong and it was actually terrible, but stopped himself when Leo pressed a kiss on his lips. He held him tight on his waist, and Elliot couldn’t help but respond to the kiss. When they parted Leo’s eyes were sparkling with anticipation.
-Bed with rose’s petals – he whispered, giggling – You really know how to deliver.
-Shut up – Elliot answered, trying to indulge in Leo’s compliment to wash away the awkwardness. The other boy smiled at him, with a drop of sadness in his eyes.
-You are too good for me – he observed, and he sounded oddly serious about it – But it would be a shame to not put this bed to good use right now.
Elliot was tempted to analyse the first part of the sentence further, but Leo stopped him from doing so with another kiss. And this one was a well-placed, poignant kiss. It didn’t warrant any protest. He pushed Leo on the edge of the bed, slowly laying him down on his back. Leo was obedient to say the least, letting Elliot take the lead without any hesitation. And Elliot took the opportunity, straddling him and pushing him back towards the pillows. His heart was racing faster than ever, but he prepared for this, he was ready for this. He brought a rose for that specific purpose. He kept kissing him, getting lost in his taste, the kiss rapidly switching between hot and passionate to slow and intimate, and Elliot wasn’t too sure which version he liked best. He trailed his hand down Leo’s slim body, feeling it shiver when he slid his fingers under the fabric, touching his bare skin. So smooth, warm and slightly damp with water and maybe a tad of sweat. Leo fumbled with his t-shirt, and Elliot parted from his lips just long enough to grab the fabric from the back and pull it over his head. When his vision was not impeded he saw Leo under him, a surprised smirk on his face, wet hair fanning around his head. He lifted him up grabbing his shoulder like he would a doll, and started lifting his t-shirt.
-W-wait – Leo stopped him, falling back on the bed when Elliot left his arm. He looked at him, confused on what he did wrong.
-What? – he asked in a slightly rugged voice.
-Don’t… don’t try to undress me – Leo explained, still flushed. Elliot looked at him, bewilderment taking over his features. What did he just say?
-Are you serious? – he asked, and he knew he didn’t sound rhetorical.
-Not anyone has your body, you know – Leo whispered, smiling but sounding resigned – I’d rather not being put to shame.
Elliot got off him, without taking his eyes off him for a second.
-I already saw you without a shirt on, you know? – he observed, remembering the couple of times he saw him come out of the shower.
-That was different – Leo shook his head, straightening the fabric with his hands – It’s the context. I’m not an idiot, I know I’m not “sexy”.
What kind of absolute idiot was he being? He lifted him up to look him in the eyes, cupping his face in his hands. God, how could he…?
-Leo – he said, confused but determined, stroking his cheek with his thumb – You’re gorgeous.
Leo blushed for real now, blinking at his sentence. He looked so cute, he wanted to remember this moment for the rest of his life. He slid his hands under his shirt and slowly, very slowly lifted it up above his head, uncovering his bare chest, with no trace of hair, white and smooth.
-So beautiful – he murmured, stroking his body from his abdomen up to his neck, then back to his cheeks. Leo was stunned, lost in his eyes – Look at you, you’re… you’re a work of art.
He pressed their lips in a tender kiss, and Leo didn’t move a muscle. He didn’t seem completely convinced, and Elliot suddenly was embarrassed by the words he just said. But how could he, Leo looked just so perfect right there, only for his eyes, looking at him more earnestly than he ever did before. He gently pushed him back on the bed, giving him another kiss before trailing his lips on his jawline, then down to his neck, without pressing too hard, not leaving any marks. He moved down to his chest, pressing his lips to the warm skin, inhaling Leo’s inebriating scent tainted with the smell of hotel body-wash but surrounded by the faint essence of the roses.
-So perfect – he said, soft as a breeze – So… delicate, and fine.
He put his hands on Leo’s waist, circling his thumb on his skin. Leo didn’t utter a single word, if Elliot couldn’t feel his heart race under his lips he would have thought he died. He moved back up, kissing his nose and his forehead before giving one last fleeting kiss to his lips.
-And only for me – he concluded, looking down at him. Leo had his eyes wide open up to him – I don’t want to hear you say anything resembling that bullshit ever again.
Leo broke his astonished expression into a chuckle, wrapping his arms around Elliot’s neck to bring him down to him.
-So impolite – he said – You couldn’t end it on a sweet note.
-So that you could call me a sappy? – Elliot observed. Leo looked convinced with the answer, and he pulled him in a kiss, one of the intimate ones. Their bare chests were pressed together, and it felt so weird, he never did anything like that, there usually was… well, something on the other’s chest. As if to look for what he was used to feel he moved his hands on the flat planes of Leo’s torso, finding it warm and delicate, just barely enough skin to cover his bones. Leo was so beautiful, and he was so lucky to be able to touch him like that but he had to admit that it felt odd.
-Sorry, no boobs – Leo joked, parting from their kiss for just a second. Elliot hummed in the kiss, wanting to answer but also not wanting to break contact.
-Better – he uttered in the second it took him to catch his breath. Leo took the opportunity to slide his tongue in Elliot’s mouth, making him groan softly. If their short conversation turned him off for a second he definitely was on board again now. He felt Leo’s hands working on the buttons of his jeans, and he felt himself twitch inside his pants.
-No belt? – Leo commented, zipping the jeans open.
-Not when I have a cross-country drive planned – he answered, wrestling out of his jeans and kicking them off – I was in Scotland this morning, and look where I am now.
-Bloody hell – Leo breathed, looking up at Elliot – You’re unfairly hot.
As he said so he grinded upwards, and Elliot felt his hardness through his boxers. He gasped for a moment, a rush of blood ran to his cheeks and another one to his own erection. It was unreal, he was actually getting so aroused by a man. By a man, God, if anyone told him something like that a year before he would have brushed it off with a laugh, albeit awkwardly, but now… Leo did it again and Elliot squirmed, feeling what was almost a shock at the sensation. He broke the kiss with a pant, and Leo looked at him quizzically before stroking his cheek.
-You know if you don’t feel like it you don’t have to – he told him – I know it’s weird doing it with a man for the first time…
-No, it’s good – Elliot interrupted him –It’s… different, but it’s good. I like it.
He wasn’t lying, it did feel good, but he also couldn’t deny that there was a sort of anxiety. Leo was so much more used to it than he was, even if he’d never “gone all the way”, and even though he liked Leo so much and his body agreed, the feeling of another man’s hardness was weird.
-Besides, I already… well, I liked what we did – he mumbled, trying to convince himself more than Leo.
-That was a hand – Leo observed – And we both were really frenzied. This is a whole other thing.
-I want to – Elliot insisted – I like you, I’ve been planning for this.
-I don’t care – Leo answered, propping himself up on his elbows – I’m so grateful that you did this for me, I promise. But it’s been a long day, and you’re tired.
Elliot was actually confused now.
-Do you not wanna do it? – he asked, leaning back so that Leo could sit up.
-I absolutely do – Leo responded – As long as you do.
-Did I do something to make you think otherwise? – asked Elliot, starting to get annoyed – I’m hard.
-I feel that – Leo reassured him, flipping his messy hair on his back – But I know enough about you to know that you planned this whole thing and you’d be too scared to back down even if you wanted to.
That hit a bit close to home. Elliot cleared his throat, feeling a cold sweat on his back. In that moment he realized just how nervous he was. He’d been thinking of this for enough time that he felt pressured into it being perfect. He felt Leo’s hand on his cheek.
-We can just… make out and cuddle – he offered – And if you want to go further just tell me.
Elliot nodded and pushed him back on the bed, leaning down next to him. They kicked down the duvet, uncovering the clean sheets of the bed, fresh and chilly, contrasting with the rather stale air. They kissed again, tangling their legs together. He wasn’t any less hard and Leo wasn’t either, but it was nice to just be there without any pressure, a hand in Leo’s hair and feeling his petite, slim body under his fingers. Leo was tightening his own hands on Elliot’s shoulders, tapping his fingers rhythmically, maybe a melody?, and caressing downwards to his back.
-You know I like you – whispered Elliot.
-I know.
-And that… had nothing to do with you.
-I know.
-I’m just tired.
-Elliot, I know.
Elliot moved down to kiss Leo’s neck, and Leo threw his head back to give him more leverage. Elliot was infinitely grateful, tasting and kissing Leo’s throat. Warm, almost hot, trembling under his lips. He could feel the pulse of Leo’s heart under the skin. He’d never been so intimate with anybody before, but it felt right.
-Could you imagine what Philip must be going through right now – Leo whispered, and Elliot felt his throat tremble under his mouth for a light giggle.
-How are you thinking of this? – he complained, and Leo chuckled again.
-No, for real – he said, and Elliot begrudgingly stopped his teasing to look him in the eyes. He had what could only be described as an enthusiastic expression – You said you saw him, how did he look?
Elliot sighed, resting his forehead on Leo’s, accepting with a serene mind that they were gonna have that conversation instead of sex.
-Angry – he answered – I thought he would be more surprised, but he mostly looked angry.
-Yeah, he didn’t believe shit about us – Leo sighed – He told me he was sure there was something between us, and I guess he was right.
-But I don’t think he expected me to kidnap you – Elliot specified, kissing him again almost as a mockery to Philip’s name. Watch us, imagine us. Leo didn’t complain, accepting the intrusion with an amused hum, but he parted a couple seconds later.
-You know, I was sure you didn’t like me – Leo chuckled – It’s so silly to think about it right now.
-Me too – he answered, kissing his cheek fondly – I was so sure you didn’t like me.
-Really, how – Leo shook his head – I kissed you basically as soon as I saw you.
-You said it wasn’t personal – Elliot specified, kissing him. How much of an idiot he had been, denying Leo’s obvious attraction to him.
-And what did you think it was?
-Just a way to convince me I was gay – Elliot sighed – Which worked, by the way.
Leo let out an incredulous chuckle which was quickly silenced by Elliot’s demanding lips, shutting him up indefinitely. Just to be sure he trailed his hand down to grope Leo’s arse, and he gasped in the kiss, grinding against him. Leo hooked his leg around Elliot’s hips, pressing him closer. Elliot’s head was dizzy, his mind cloudy with the notion that he was making out with Leo, with his boyfriend, in a hotel bed in central England. It was so surreal and at the same time so real, so there. He had to break the kiss after what felt like hours to yawn.
-You’re tired, aren’t you? – Leo asked – Do you want to sleep?
-Yeah… - he admitted – The petals…
-Elliot I don’t care – Leo reassured him, embracing him – Don’t think over this too hard, but I’m the happiest I’ve ever been in my life.
How could he not think over it too hard? He left another sweet kiss on Leo’s lips and let him adjust on his chest, moving his arm to not be absolutely cramped the morning after. He took a deep breath, feeling Leo’s warmth and knowing he was gonna be overheating in two hours’ time, no matter the fact they were both naked and not covered with the sheets. He drifted into a blissed unconsciousness, lulled to sleep by Leo’s regular breath.
It was a surprisingly peaceful sleep, he only woke up a couple of times, the first when Leo rolled in his arms, and the second when it was already dawn, and he reached over to press Leo’s back on his chest, hearing his satisfied sigh right before falling asleep again. It was the first time he ever slept with somebody like that, he always avoided sleepovers with his girlfriends. He woke up for real when the sun was already relatively high in the sky, judging by the temperature, and he felt air on all the sides of his body. He wasn’t pressed to Leo anymore, which was absolutely unacceptable. He stretched his arms forward, looking for Leo in the bed, and as soon as he found it he shifted closer to him, nuzzling his hair. He heard Leo let out a confused moan before realizing what was happening and relaxing in Elliot’s hold.
-Good morning – he murmured, voice hoarse with sleep. Elliot sighed in his hair.
-Good morning – he answered, feeling Leo wiggle his hips. He took a sharp breath and Leo stopped immediately.
-Well now that’s a morning wood – Leo commented, clearing his throat. Elliot snapped back away from the contact, making the other man whine.
-Sorry – he whispered, embarrassment and arousal warming his cheeks – It’s just… I slept close to you the whole night.
-Why are you sorry – Leo asked, rolling on the other side and looking in Elliot’s eyes, placing a hand on his lips – It’s hot.
He rutted forward, pressing their hardness to each other, and Elliot bit his lip. Oh, now he really wanted to get it over and done with.
-Not tired anymore – he informed Leo before capturing his lips in a hard, open-mouthed kiss that very quickly evolved into petting. He grabbed a fistful of Leo’s hair and pulled his head backwards, leaving hot kisses on his neck, and Leo reached down to grab him through his underwear – Fuck…
-I like hearing you swear – Leo sighed – You always try to be so proper…
-Shut it – gasped Elliot, thrusting in Leo’s grip. Leo gave a trembling sigh and started stroking him, sending Elliot in a whirlwind of pleasure, spoiled by Leo’s deft fingers. But he didn’t want to let him work all alone this time, so he slid a hand down Leo’s pants to get a hold of his arse. Leo whimpered and tightened his grip on Elliot, making him struggle for breath as he pressed Leo closer.
-Is… can I…? – stuttered Leo, teasing the elastic of Elliot’s boxer with his fingers. Elliot nodded with a bit too much enthusiasm, but Leo didn’t look in the mood to mock him. Instead the touches only got bolder, until Elliot found himself laying back on the bed, Leo straddled over him grinding his hips down on Elliot’s crotch. Elliot was having difficulties catching his breath, feeling Leo’s body so close to his, separated by the smallest, most insignificant piece of fabric that honestly they could just… He pulled Leo’s pants down his legs, earning a satisfied little noise as he struggled out of them and worked on Elliot’s. The contact of their naked skins shot something like an electric shock all through his body, and there was absolutely no shame nor weirdness in what he was feeling, just raw pleasure, a kind he never felt before. He was unbelievably turned on, he didn’t think he was ever gonna feel that way, he wanted Leo under him, he wanted Leo around him.
He flipped their position shoving Leo down in the mattress, kissing him one long, last time before looking down at him.
-The, uh, the thing, where did you…?
-Yeah, yes, in my bag – Leo answered, gesturing down the bed to the floor. Elliot reluctantly left the warmth of his body to grab the bag, throwing it on the bed and rummaging in it until he found a little unlabelled bottle. He didn’t need any confirmation, but Leo nodded anyway and Elliot threw the bag back down on the floor. His heart was racing, but he needed this, he wanted this, he prepared for this. He had an idea of what he had to do, even if just a vague one. He trailed his finger down to Leo’s back and he shivered.
-Can I? – he breathed on his lips, and Leo nodded.
-Just… do you know how to do this? – he asked, making space for Elliot between his legs as he opened the bottle with trembling hands.
-Mostly – he answered – But if I hurt you tell me to stop.
Leo nodded and Elliot very hesitantly wet his hands with lube, flinching at the sensation. He wished he could be cooler, but he was still kind of nervous and afraid he was gonna screw it up. But was Leo right with the good night’s sleep, he never felt as eager to do something ever, never this excited, he was so turned on he couldn’t understand what went wrong just a few hours earlier. He took a deep breath and slid a trembling finger down to Leo’s hole, and Leo gasped loudly, causing Elliot to freeze on the spot. But he nodded encouragingly and Elliot pushed his finger in, just barely, getting them both used to the sensation. It was tight, very tight, and warm and wet. Leo was taking deep breaths, and Elliot leaned down to kiss him to comfort him through the sting. He felt him relax, and he started moving his finger. When Leo stopped trembling he teased the rim with another finger, almost as a warning to Leo who flinched slightly but opened his legs, giving more leverage to Elliot’s movements. He pressed in, and he wasn’t even two centimetres in that Leo tensed up under him and yelped. He stopped that instant.
-I’m sorry, does it hurt? – he said, leaning back to see his whole face.
-What do you think? – Leo hissed – But it’s okay. Just… a bit full.
Well if he was a bit full now how could he even begin to… no, let’s not think about it, it was Leo and if Leo didn’t want to finish it they wouldn’t. Of course.
-Can I keep going? – he inquired, pressing a kiss to his forehead. Leo nodded and Elliot went back to give him long, passionate kisses to distract him from the pain, pushing the fingers deeper inside him. Now he was really tight, clenching his fingers, and that sent a jab to his own hardness. He hadn’t even realized how hard he got just by doing this, and he reached Leo’s cock, finding it half-up. Leo broke their kiss and moaned in pleasure, as Elliot found his rhythm with both hands. He moved his fingers, arching and looking for that spot, that he knew was there, it had to be close. He was prepared, and determined to make this unforgettable for both of them. After some blind exploration Leo arched his back and let out a wanton moan. It was so indecent that Elliot felt precum leaking from his tip. Found it. He continued hitting that spot, stroking Leo in perfect time, and watching him lose it completely under his hands. So beautiful, overwhelmed with the sensation, flushed red. All of a sudden he felt Leo’s hand around himself and he groaned, losing his rhythm for a second. He jerked into the hand, unable to keep the pacing he kept before. To make up for it, he pushed a third finger inside Leo without warning him, earning what could only be described as the most lustful, indecorous sound he ever heard. He thrusted the fingers in all together, hitting Leo’s prostate with every jab, until Leo was a quivering mess under him, stomach wet with his own fluids even before his orgasm. But that still hit pretty soon, and Leo came over himself with a shudder, limping down on the mattress and letting go of Elliot.
-God you’re beautiful – Elliot whispered, pulling out of Leo to kiss him. He was panting and flustered, and it was honestly a sight to behold. He stroked himself a couple of times, turned on just by Leo’s face. Leo closed his eyes and leaned back, and Elliot absentmindedly grinded against his thigh, looking for relief.
-Are you gonna actually fuck me or do you plan to just hump me? – Leo breathed, husky. God, as if he needed encouragement. He grabbed the condom he brought from his own jeans and the bottle of lube he previously threw on the nightstand.
-Yeah, just give me a minute – he stuttered, scrambling to get the foil wrap open. He rolled the condom on, then he oiled his hands and stroked himself, flinching at the sensation. Even his own hand felt better than usual, no matter the plastic, looking down at Leo’s amazing body sprawled under him, just waiting for him to be ready. For a second he felt nauseous and immediately stopped touching himself, mind flooded with terrifying images from days before. He felt Leo’s hand on his wrist, and he flinched hard, almost falling backwards.
-What is it? – he asked, lifting himself up just a bit. Elliot shook his head. Just thinking about it, not even two days ago he was at a gay conversion camp, and now he was… there. He ran away from home, and he was in bed with a man, mere seconds away from full blown anal sex – Elliot?
-I’m… sorry – he said, shaking his head. Leo looked so beautiful in front of him, it was nothing like those things in the video, nothing like those, it was right and good and fair. Leo stroked his cheek.
-It’s okay – he reassured him – I’m good, we can stop.
-No I want this – Elliot insisted, and this time he was convinced – I really, really want this. Lay down.
Leo smiled and obeyed, and Elliot squeezed some more lube on himself before lining up with Leo’s entrance. He grabbed his thighs and held them back, careful not to hurt him, and he pressed the tip on his entrance, already sensing the warmth.
-Ready? – he breathed on his lips. Leo nodded and Elliot pushed in, feeling himself engulfed by his wet heat. His eyes squeezed shut and he bit his lip to hold a moan, but he couldn’t stop himself from sliding in just a bit further, chasing that feeling of fullness – Fuck it’s tight…
He couldn’t push forward, Leo was panting and sweating under him, almost shivering.
-Leo you have to relax – he told him, voice hoarse, blood rushing in his ears – I can’t move.
-It’s not… easy – Leo snarled, and Elliot sighed a trembling sigh.
-Maybe if you turn around it’s easier – he offered, and Leo answered with a disappointed whine. Somehow he knew exactly what he meant – I know, I don’t really like it either but I can’t do it like this.
Leo shook his head and took a deep breath, leaning back and opening his legs wider. Feeling a sudden opening Elliot pushed in, burying himself deeper inside Leo. He let out a groan, relishing in the feeling of being engulfed by that unearthly sensation. He hadn’t bottomed out yet, but Leo looked like he couldn’t take anything more at the moment. Elliot leaned down to kiss him without moving, waiting for a sign to actually begin. No chance he was gonna go limp anyway, he had all the time in the world. Reality struck him like lightning, and left him tingling in pleasure. He was inside Leo, he was having sex with him, with a man, and it was so different and, God, somehow so much better than anything he ever did before.
-You start – Leo panted – And when I’m a bit more… open, you can go deeper.
-Yeah, sure – Elliot nodded. He pulled almost all the way out and pushed back in, remaining shallow not to hurt Leo more than he already did. Oh that was perfect. God he couldn’t… how could he hold back when it felt so incredibly good? He thrust in harder, but not too hard, trying to hold back just enough to make Leo moan but not outright scream. But seeing him like this, overwhelmed, flushed red, sweating and holding onto him and the sheets for dear life, he looked so good. He bit his lip and pressed in with a single powerful stroke, bottoming out inside Leo and making him cry out.
-El- Elliot!
-It’s… so good…
He stood still for a moment, and it took everything in him, waiting and dreading that Leo was going to tell him to stop, but he didn’t. He could only hope Leo felt half as good as he did, thrusting inside him erratically, unable to control himself any further. He should have been able to control himself, fuck, he’d had sex before, he was the one with experience, but now calling that sex didn’t even seem fair. How was it so different than with girls, it was tight, so tight, and warm, and so good. And Leo moaned, and that only excited him more, getting him to pound him harder than he thought, too hard, he was probably hurting him but how could he stop, so good and so perfect. He was caught by his own orgasm, so hard he almost choked, and he rode out every second of it, until he was useless and spent on top of Leo, gasping for air like he hadn’t breathed in hours. Silence filled the room, broken only by their soft pants.
-That was quick.
Elliot flinched and pulled back, looking at the face in front of him, damp with sweat and dazed. He involuntarily pulled out of him, and Leo hissed.
-And also painful.
-Fuck off it’s not like I’m an expert at this! – Elliot snarled through his teeth, but the annoyed tone was dirtied by the broken pants in his voice.
-I mean, you were so inconsiderate – Leo shook his head, clicking his tongue. He sounded enviably collected. Elliot was starting to fume – Just fucking me hard like that, so selfish, I didn’t even come…
-You did come!
-Not now – he clarified. Elliot furrowed his brows, starting to get really irritated.
-Was it that bad? – he asked, leaning more towards being angry than being actually curious. He needed to get that condom off, but he was really into this now. Leo seemed to evaluate his options, and Elliot felt a chill down his spine.
-I’m messing with you, idiot – he finally sighed, lifting himself up to kiss him on the lips – It was quick, and painful, but what else could we expect? Besides, it’s not like I didn’t like it.
Elliot scoffed, hiding his relief, and he leaned down to kiss Leo again.
-Well I liked it – he commented, throwing away the condom in the bin next to the door before going back to bed, leaning next to Leo.
-I saw it – Leo sighed – Welcome to gay sex, Elliot.
-Weren’t you a virgin? – Elliot asked, brushing Leo’s thigh up and down.
-Hardly – Leo corrected him – I simply never had an actual dick in my arse.
-Why are you so graphic?
-But I’ve had other things up there – he continued, completely ignoring Elliot. He sighed.
-Well I’ve had sex before, so maybe I should welcome you in the non-virgins.
Leo didn’t answer, and they laid down together, limbs messily tangled with each other. Elliot kept brushing his fingers on Leo’s leg, and he turned to press closer to him. Elliot moved his head back to take a breath not corrupted by sweat. They should have really opened the window. In the middle of their hazy cuddling they heard the bell of a close church striking the hour. He counted ten chimes. He moved his fingers up to Leo’s torso, caressing it before brushing a kiss to his lips.
-We should get ready – he said, and Leo huffed.
-To go where?
-To the University reception, so that I can confirm my acceptance – he sighed – And sign a lot of papers, and maybe we should start thinking about somewhere to rent and somewhere to work.
-You actually thought this through – Leo observed, surprised. Elliot shrugged and moved away from him, putting his pants back on before opening the window.
-You think I drove you down here to have sex and be broke? – he asked, rummaging through his backpack to pick up a clean shirt and a belt.
-I wouldn’t hate it – Leo interjected with a smirk. Elliot rolled his eyes.
-I’m going to shower.
-Elliot – Leo stopped him just before he could get into the bathroom. He turned to look at him, and Leo was staring at him, looking almost lost – I love you.
Elliot blushed to the tip of his hair. Leo did say something like that the day before, but it was a spur of the moment thing, he lifted him off the ground like a princess, it was a particular occasion. But that had nothing to do with what he said just now. He sounded dead serious, and Elliot felt a lump in his throat. Leo cleared his throat, crawling out the bed to pick up his scattered clothes.
-Forget it – he muttered, and there was a familial heat in his chest, like pride. He walked over to him, pulling him up to his height and holding him close, so close that he almost felt him weld into his own body. Leo responded to the embrace.
-Me too – he whispered – Stop telling me to forget things I want to remember forever.
Leo chuckled, but didn’t leave the embrace.
-Sappy – he commented. Elliot let him be.