Chapter Text
Luke’s confused. Admittedly, it’s a pretty common emotion for him. If you ask Alex, he’d probably list it in his top five most frequent things Luke feels, but this is a whole other level of confusion.
Because he’s known Julie Molina for three years. (Really known her, being in the same music theory class in his sophomore year doesn't count). Three years of writing together and playing together and being in such close proximity there are times when he’s unsure where he ends and she begins and during that time she’s been easily the most confusing thing in his life. He’s spent most of the past three years in love with her. He knows it. Alex and Reggie know it. Flynn knows. Ray definitely knows if the pitying looks and soft way he calls him son are any indication. Hell, he’s pretty sure his parents know and he barely speaks to them. The only person who didn’t know was Julie.
Until now.
Because in the post-oral daze she’d sent him to, he’d just...said it, like he’s wanted to for the last two years, eleven months, twenty-nine days, twenty-three hours and forty-five minutes and then, somehow, she said it back. Julie loves him. That can’t be right, but she’s insisting it’s true, that she’s always loved him and now she’s embarrassed that she decided to tell him this way and that’s unacceptable because while it wasn’t what he ever imagined, it’s one hell of a way to fucking find out.
She called him out on it too. Never believe anything a guy says after you blow him, indeed. He intends to prove her wrong though. One of the few things she’s ever been wrong about when it comes to him. And while he’s smirking down on her, promising to tell her he loves her every hour and his plans for filling that hour in between, he can’t quite fight back the confusion.
What the hell had brought this on?
Less than an hour ago they were on their tour bus when she claimed she didn’t like giving blow jobs. His entire brain short circuited, a near told meltdown, because he’s in love with Julie, but despite that and despite how close they all are, until that moment, he knew next to nothing about her sex life. Except that she had one and that it was none of his business.
And it wasn’t that big a deal because they just never talked about it. Except he’s been in love with her for three years, so he wants to know everything about her, even when those things hurt, maybe especially those things. Before today when she announced that she didn’t like having a dick in her mouth ( Except yours, apparently , a devilish voice echoes in his head, which he quickly banishes) there was only one little bit of information he’s ever, literally stumbled, upon. It was less than a year ago, back in LA, before Julie and Nick broke up. They’d been at the Molinas’ house for dinner and he’d headed into the kitchen to refill his drink while Reggie and Carlos duked it out over old school Mario Kart.
“If that’s what you want, you should just tell him,” Flynn said, stopping him in his tracks before he could make it fully around the back of the staircase.
“I cannot tell him that,” Julie shot back, quickly.
Tell who, what, exactly? He probably should have left then, but...he couldn’t.
Flynn let out a heavy sigh. The one she only uses when she knows she’s right and the person in front of her is being ridiculous. He’s been on the receiving end of it about a thousand times. “If you can’t tell your boyfriend how you want him to go down on you, then why is he even your boyfriend?”
Luke spun on his heel and retreated back to the living room, glass still empty. That was a conversation he wasn’t meant to hear, but he would never forget it. Not just because Nick apparently sucks at oral (he could have guessed that, the dude was nice enough, but no one that boring is good in bed), but because Julie shouldn't be with someone she feels like she can’t talk to. He tried to put it out of his head though, no matter how angry it made him, because it was none of his business,
That was true then, but now? Now, it is very much his business.
Looking down, her brown eyes molten hot reflections of his with that soft smile on her face, he can’t help but reach up to cup her cheek, running his calloused fingers along the line of her jaw. Her eyes fall closed when he leans in, his mouth ghosting over her lips before he moves quickly, hovering at her ear.
“But before I do,” he whispers, fully intending on fulfilling his promise to return the favor, “I need to know something.”
She’s pushing up on her toes, her breasts against his chest, warm against the exposed skin between the open edges of his shirt. “Anything,” she murmurs back against his collarbone, pressing a kiss there, which brings him back to fifteen minutes ago when she’d started her journey downward and completely tilted his entire world on its axis.
He wants to ask her, why now? Why after all this time did she decide it was time to act? He was never going to say anything. He’s brave when it comes to life’s bullshit, but not when it comes to Julie. She’s the only thing in the whole world that scares the living shit out of him. The ball had always been in her court and maybe she knew that. So, what was the thing that did it? Does he even want to know?
He’s not sure. So he chickens out. Like he said, she’s the brave one. At least when it comes to feelings.
The other stuff though? That he can do.
“Tell me,” he says, trailing his lips down her neck and pausing to scrape his teeth against her pulse point softly. He’s rewarded with a throaty moan that vibrates from her body into him. “Tell me exactly what you like.”
“Fuck,” Julie breathes out in a shaky voice while he presses is mouth to that spot. She jolts against him just as his hand finds purchase at her hip and he holds her body close.
“How is two rooms over not far enough away?”
Luke pulls back and blinks. That’s not...not the answer to his question and it’s definitely not Julie’s voice.
Alex. That’s Alex’s voice and he’s getting closer.
Shit. Their fucking adjoiniing hotel rooms. Reggie was three doors down from him. Alex two. Julie next and then his and Alex sounds like he’s…
“Your guitar,” Julie says, pulling back out of his arms because his bathroom door is wide open, just like the door attaching his room to hers and in just a few seconds Alex will be able to see everything. Including...how much he was enjoying having her pressed against him. In any other moment he’d be fucking glowing over how fast he’d recovered from Julie blowing his mind...literally, but Jesus fucking Christ, not right now.
He wildly reaches for his acoustic, still propped up against the wall of the shower and nearly knocks it over before pulling it up just in time.
“Reggie’s groupies are here and they’re fucking loud. Literally fucking loud . I can’t go back there,” Alex says as he rounds the corner and leans into the bathroom doorway, taking one glance at the guitar and jumping to the conclusion they want him to. “Ugh, are you guys writing? Please tell me you two haven’t gone into Jukebox Insanity Mode. I need sustenance and to be away from the threesome of doom.”
“Uh, no...we were just…” Luke stutters, panicked eyes moving to Julie. He doesn’t even know why he’s freaking out. Alex will be thrilled. There will be a long melodramatic speech about knowing all along and the pair of them sharing a brain cell and how he and Reggie called it years ago. He wants Alex to know, but maybe...not like this. Not if Julie’s going to be embarrassed by it and he’s pretty sure she might be.
But then Julie saves him, turning to Alex, looking completely cool and totally unaffected. “No, Luke was just showing me the arrangement he did for Bad Reputation .”
“You wanna cover Mendes?” Alex asks, eyebrows shooting up. “That’s not...okay...whatever, just as long as you’re not about to like lock yourselves in here for hours like the last time. Please don’t make me go back over there.”
Luke shrugs. “No cover. I like the lyrics, but the guitar felt flat and sort of weak on it, so I figured…” he trails off. It’s not important. What’s important is getting Alex to go the fuck away because Julie’s smiiling up at him and biting her lip and shit, he wants her so fucking much he can feel it vibrating against his skin.
“You want to get lunch?” Julie jumps in. “We should go out. We never get a chance to see any of the cities we go to. We should do like a Pittsburgh thing, whatever you’re supposed to eat in Pittsburgh anyway.”
“Sausage?” Alex guesses. “Is sausage a Pittsburgh thing? I feel like it might be.”
“Dude, I have no idea,” he cuts him off, resigning himself to his fate, “but if we’re going out let me grab a shower real quick.”
He hands off his guitar to Julie who sends him a tight smile, letting her fingers brush softly against the back of his hand while she takes the instrument from him and once they’re gone, the bathroom door clicking shut he collapses back against the tile wall, letting out a reedy breath.
Fuck.
He really does need a shower. A cold one. Cold shower. Definitely cold.
A half hour later, he finds himself at a local restaurant where only a few people recognize them and they’re eating sandwiches with french fries on them because apparently that’s a Pittsburgh thing and he’d maybe be able to appreciate it more, because let’s be real french fries on anything is awesome, except he hasn’t been able to draw his eyes away from Julie the entire time and how she is still the hottest fucking thing he’s ever seen in his entire life, even when there’s some Russian dressing on her bottom lip and a shredded piece of cabbage from the bite of cole slaw she just took is threatening to slip out of her mouth.
After taking selfies with the guy behind the counter that made their sandwiches and a few of the other people in the restaurant, Luke sits back and rests his arm along the back of the booth, like he’s done a million times before with Julie next to him and Alex across from him and it’s so easy to picture Reggie there too and how this could just be...normal, because after three years of almost no hope, this could be it. Just, easy, in the way it’s always been with her, except so much more.
“I’m gonna grab Reggie something. He hasn’t eaten today,” Alex says, before wincing as Luke smirks and Julie just laughs outright. “ Food . He hasn’t had any food today.”
Julie’s still giggling softly, running a stray french fry around in her plate, picking up some of the Russian dressing that leaked out of her sandwich to her plate when his arm falls from the back of the booth to her shoulders, pulling her gently into his side, squeezing. Leaning down, he makes sure his mouth is obscured by a layer of her curls before he murmurs, “I love you.”
For half a second she freezes, mid-bite and then relaxes against him. “You said every hour, you’re at least a half hour late.”
“I’ll make it up to you,” he whispers, pressing a kiss to her temple, before pulling away entirely.
She glances up at him through her eyelashes and his breath catches. Shit, he loves her eyes. “Promise?”
His mouth falls open, unable to choose where to fix his gaze, her eyes pulling him in or her mouth as he tongue darts out to wet her lower lip. Fuck, he’s totally fucked. He needs to get her back to the hotel so he can yeet Alex into his own hotel room and return the favor like he promised earlier.
Except that’s not what happens.
When they get back to the hotel, Reggie is chilling across Luke’s bed pouting that they went out without him, but perking up when Alex slides the bag of food into his hands and then Alex mentions Luke’s rearrangement of Bad Reputation and that he always thought it would be a killer duet with just a few tweaks, looking meaningfully back and forth between him and Julie like he’s doing Luke a goddamn favor and not being the most epic cockblock in the history of the universe.
And so they spend the rest of the night picking through the chords Luke had in his head on his acoustic. Julie’s harmonizing with him and taking a few verses herself and echoing his. Reggie’s clicking his tongue to the bass rhythm he’s planning and Alex taps out beat on the ottoman in the corner.
He’s wondering how much Shawn will charge them to cover the damn thing and release it as a single, because it is actually really fucking good and now that they’ve workshopped it Luke really does want to record it, especially since they’ve changed around the lyrics a little bit, shifting a few pronouns around and suddenly it feels like a song he and Julie could actually be singing to each other.
That’s the last thought he has when he passes out on top of his bed, Julie curled up a few feet away, Reggie already snoring on the couch and Alex drift off in the chair, his feet propped up on his ottoman-cum-drum.
He didn’t pull the curtains shut. Rookie mistake because as soon as the sun comes up over Pittsburgh, it’s shining into his hotel room, pulling him out of unconsciousness before the alarm on his phone goes off. It’s warm...really warm against his skin. Warm and...heavy and a little bit...alive.
Blinking awake, he pulls in a breath and it’s coconut from her shampoo and lavender from her perfume and that soap she uses with a bit of cocoa butter and Jesus Fucking Christ he could wake up like this every day.
Lifting his head gingerly, he glances around the room. No snoring from the couch where Reggie had planted himself the night before and a flicker of his eyes reveals Alex is gone too and the door, that damn adjoining door that leads back to Julie’s room. It’s shut.
Sweet.
His hand comes up to where Julie’s has twisted into the cotton of his t-shirt against his chest, her head tucked into the crook of his shoulder, one leg thrown over his, completely pressed up against his side. They hadn’t fallen asleep this way, but if she’d crawled over to him in the middle of the night, who the hell was he to complain?
Lifting her hand from him, he draws it to his lips, pressing a soft kiss on the inside of her wrist as she shifts against him in her sleep. He trails his mouth up along the sensitive skin of her arm, before reaching the edge of the tank she’d fallen asleep in, nudging the thick strap with his nose, before skipping over it up to her neck. Just as he closes his lips over the soft patch of skin he’d found yesterday that made her gasp, he feels her shift closer and sigh.
“Luke,” she breathes out, her arm coming around his back, pulling him into her, their hips aligning. And he’ll spend the rest of his life attempting to make his name the first thing she says in the morning, exactly like that.
“Morning,” he mumbles before getting back to work.
“Getting an early start?” she manages through a gasp, her hand sliding up into his hair to hold him right where he is, not that he had any plans of vacating that spot any time soon.
“Making up for lost time,” he mutters, letting his teeth gently nip at her skin, before bracing hand on the mattress behind her and with a quick shift of his weight, rolling them over, bringing their bodies into sharper contact.
Julie lets out a shaky breath before surging up, pulling him down by the frayed collar of his t-shirt. The kiss is warm and slow and maybe not quite as deep as it would be if they hadn’t both just woken up, but God he loves it. He loves her.
His hands fall to her hips and then slide upwards, under the hem of her tank. “I did promise…” he trails off and she sighs softly, swatting his hands away and lifting her shirt up over her head, tossing it aside.
“You did,” she says, grinning at him as his jaw falls slack.
He’s seen her almost this naked before. They did that ridiculous cover for Rolling Stone last year after they released an acoustic version of their album, JULIE AND THE PHANTOMS: STRIPPED DOWN they called the article and the photoshoot had been of them with basically nothing on from the waist up, their bodies strategically positioned to make sure nothing of Juliie’s got caught on film that shouldn’t thanks to society’s prejudice against female nipples.
When she came out of her dressing room he’d nearly swallowed his own tongue at the sheer amount of warm brown skin on display and then during the shoot itself, with her standing in front of him, back to the camera, tucked under his chin, soft strands of her hair tantalizing against his chest. The only thing that kept him from embarrassing himself like a fifteen year old boy was the knowledge that Reggie and Alex were standing next to him, inches away, just as shirtless as he was and that he would never live it down. So, if he looked a little tense in all the pictures, who could blame him? The journalist had written it off as a marker of his intense connection to their music and if everyone else had let themselves believe that...well, they’re idiots.
Now though? Now he’s free to say exactly what he wanted to that day as the photographer and makeup artists buzzed around them, her looking up at him, worrying her lip that the pictures were a mistake (they weren’t, it was the highest selling issue of the magazine the entire year).
“You’re the most beautiful goddamn thing I’ve ever seen,” he whispers, looking straight into her eyes as he says it because it’s not that her shirt’s off that’s brought those words out. It’s her, every part of her, since the moment he first laid eyes on her, sophomore year, that freshman in his music theory class, hair flying everywhere, eye sparkling with life and the sweetest voice he’ll ever hear. (Okay, maybe it does count. Maybe he's been in love with her for five years.)
“I love you,” she says, wrapping her arms around his neck and this time drawing him in for a kiss that pulls the very air from his lungs. Fuck morning breath. He loves her and doesn't give a shit.
He pulls away panting, gasping for air as he slides down her body, finding new freckles and dimples and ways to make her gasp as he goes along. “Jules, you gotta...I need to, I’ve been thinking about this for so long, dreaming about it forever.”
“Forever huh?”
He chuckles softly, eyes drifting up to hers from where his cheek is resting against the soft slope of her stomach. “Forever. Harrison nearly made me transfer out of first period music theory if I couldn’t put as much focus into listening to her as I did on looking at you.”
“She said that?” Julie says, eyes wide with a laugh and the way her entire body moves with the sound nearly sets him off. “She knew?”
“Everyone knew, Jules.”
“Except me.” She sighs and in a sad sort of way, one that makes him want to wrap her in his arms forever because Julie should never be sad and definitely not about him. Not if he can help it.
He hums agreement. “You know now though. We both do. That’s what matters.” His words only hang in the air for a second before he turns his head, pressing a soft kiss beside her belly button and then glances back up at her for permission.
Julie nods, biting into the soft flesh of her bottom lip as his fingers hook into the waistband of the soft shorts she wore to bed.
His breath falls out of him in a rush as he finally takes her in. “Fucking gorgeous,” he mutters, setting aside her shorts. “Better than my dreams.”
“You dreamed about me?” she asks, as he moves down the bed, hands sliding slowly down her thighs and over her calves, watching in fascination as goosebumps follow his path.
“Every night since I was fifteen,” he admits and it’s not too much of an exaggeration. “Every fantasy I’ve ever had, every single one, it’s always been you.” That’s not an exaggeration at all. He lets his mouth retrace the trail his fingers just finished, up from her ankle, over her calf, kissing the curve of her knee, before slowly, with agonizing intention up the inside of her thigh.
“Luke,” she stutters out as his mouth hovers over exactly where he intends to go, but not just yet.
“You never answered me this morning,” he whispers, his lips ghosting against her and her entire body twitches, her hips arching off the bed, but he grasps them, holding her firmly in place. “Tell me what you like. What do you need?”
“I need your mouth,” she rasps out of the back of her throat. “I need your mouth on my clit.”
“Fuck,” he mutters before giving her exactly what she asks for, leading with his tongue, letting the taste of her wash over him before he deepens the contact, finding a rhythm with his lips and his tongue. Her hand sifts through his hair, tangling in the longer than usual strands and tugging softly when he lingers in exactly the right place at exactly the right moment. He groans every time and she shudders beneath him.
Opening his eyes, he glances up only to find her staring down at him, pupils blown wide and nearly black as she watches him and she can only hold the contact for a second before she throws her head back and he renews his assault, his fingers joining his mouth, one sliding against her and then two before twisting and curling inside of her.
Julie arches up against him and then gasps, “Luke, more…”
He glances up at her, an eyebrow raised in question as he meets her gaze before adding another finger and with a flick of his wrist, she jolts wildly, losing the rhythm they set.
Her thighs press in on him and he presses forward with his shoulders, holding her open to him while her body shakes and the sweet moan that sounds like half his name and half some sort of plea to the universe echoes through the room.
And he lied before.
This is the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen, watching Julie Molina come from his mouth and his hands, a soft flush at her cheeks, her breasts rising and falling with every gasping breath, her thighs shaking before she melts down into the mattress, sinking into a glowing, warm, soft Julie that he’s never seen before and now, this is the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen.
Shit, she blows him away.
“God, you’re so good at that,” she says, her breath still coming hard and fast as he rests his cheek against her thigh, watching her before pressing another kiss where it meets her hip, tracing a line up to her hip bone.
Something in his chest swells at the compliment and he can’t help but smirk. “Yeah, I know.”
And that sets off a soft giggle in her that he meets with a laugh of his own.
“They’re going to come find us soon. Reggie’s going to want breakfast and Alex is too anxious not to get to the venue early and then we’re going to be on a bus for another two weeks.”
“Soon, but not yet,” he says, crawling up to brace himself beside her, leaning down and pressing a soft kiss to her lips, nothing more than that. “We’ve got another hour at least.”
“We’ve got fifteen minutes at most,” she says, rolling into him, turning her face into his shoulder as his arms come around her.
A sharp knock on the door, from out in the hallway, makes liars of them both. It’s Gretchen. Time’s up. Apparently, they had less than fifteen seconds.
“C’mon,” he says, leaning into her hair. “Breakfast with the boys, where we’ll tell them we’ve finally come to our senses and that we’ll be needing some extra privacy as we finish up the tour and then we’ll do soundcheck and then we’ll Facetime Ray and Carlos and Tia and Flynn.”
“And your parents,” she insists.
“And my parents,” he agrees with a sigh. “And then we’ll spend the next two weeks on that fucking bus looking for places to live because I swear to God, Julie Molina, I’m never sleeping without you ever again.”
She pulls back for a second, blinking at him in stunned silence and then whispers. “Wow.”
“Too much?” he asks, wincing. He’s never, in his entire life, known when to dial back his enthusiasm and he knows that especially applies to Julie.
“No, exact right amount,” she says, pressing a kiss to the closest available skin, his collarbone, which sends a soft shudder through him.
“So, we’re moving in together because I’m completely co-dependent.”
“We are, after I told you I loved you by giving you a blow job.”
“Yeah,” he says, cutting off both of their hysterical giggles at their ridiculousness. “Speaking of that, what the hell made you do that?”
Julie groans. “It was on the bus, after I said it I didn’t like them…you looked so...disappointed that I didn’t like blow jobs. I...I don’t know, your eyes get this kicked puppy look in them when something disappoints you and I just couldn’t stand the thought of it, of you being disappointed in me. Ever. And then I realized that the only reason you’d be disappointed was if you...if you wanted that and...that’s when I realized that you...that you wanted me and then you were up against the wall in that shower and the only thing I could think was that I wanted you in my mouth. And then I sort of...stopped thinking.”
“So what you’re saying is the reason we’re here right now, together is because of Reggie’s booty call threesome with a couple of groupies which led to a conversation about oral sex, which led to you admitting you don’t like blow jobs....”
“ Didn’t like blow jobs,” she corrects him and he grins.
“Didn’t like blow jobs,” he repeats.
“Oh God, we can never tell him,” she says, shaking with laughter, falling into his chest again.
“Are you kidding? It’d make his life.”
Then five thuds interrupt whatever she was going to say next.
“Blueberry pancakes in fifteen minutes; get out here or I’m eating them all,” Reggie calls through the door.
“You’re right, we’re not telling him,” Luke says, changing his mind. “Also…” he glances at the clock. “Haven’t told you something in the last hour. That is the agreement right, once every hour?”
“I love you,” she says to him.
Smirking, he grins at her while she smiles up at him. “I don’t know...not sure I should believe anything you say after I made you come like that.”
“Maybe not,” she agrees, leaning over to kiss him softly, her brown eyes twinkling up at him. “Guess I’ll just have to return the favor, every day, for the rest of our lives.”
“Sounds good, boss.”