Chapter Text
To the Heart
Merlin was a monster.
It didn’t matter that Gaius repeatedly assured him that he wasn’t, that he was fighting for good, that he was good.
Merlin never believed it.
He was a monster.
After all, why was he hiding? Why did he constantly lie? Why did conceal the golden color of his eyes? Why did people burn others like him? Why was he feared? Why was magic referenced with fearful tones? Why could he never control the magic that bubbled underneath his skin?
It wasn’t because he was normal. Because he was accepted.
He was a monster.
Nothing could ever change it because he was born one. There were fangs underneath his skin, threatening to emerge.
Arthur, Gwen, Lancelot - all of them - would hate him if they knew.
They would despise him if they discovered the truth of what he was. They would turn their backs on him. They will kill him, and he would deserve it.
Because he was a monster.
He was ugly, disgusting, nasty, unlucky.
He was magic, monster, magic, monster.
It cut to the heart sharper than any sword.