Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Trying to avoid the rumors going around about him being somehow ‘special’ because of fate’s habit of giving Tom Riddle an unhealthy obsession with him, he found himself sitting with Hermione, Sue Li, Padma Parvati, and List Turpin in the back corner of the library.

The other boys were using their break to hang out with some of the Hufflepuffs and he’d sort of gravitated towards feminine presences more after the war, as they were safer to him and his unrelenting queerness. Plus he just didn’t have the energy to keep up with Quidditch and the other nonsense that the boys were always talking about, not to mention how they were a bit too abrasive and immature for him to be fully comfortable.

At least with the girls, he could half-listen to their wandering trains of thought while also being allowed the space to do his school assignments in peace. Sure, sometimes they talked about things he couldn’t relate to that much, but they were comfortable in the silence the way most of the guys thought they had to be filled with annoyances.

(Sometimes he felt like an old man yelling at the void, thinking such things.)

However, when even footsteps approached their group and the girls quieted, he resigned himself to not having his peace. 

“Azarias.” ‘Tobias’ stopped by the side of his chair, Aza’s feet hanging over the side of the armchair he was sitting in. “Will you talk to me or are you still being stubborn and ill-tempered?”

He decided to pull the ‘immature stubborn teenager’ card, looking over at Hermione. “Did you hear something? I could have sworn I heard a snake.”

Rolling her eyes, Hermione stood and looked between them, the other three girls following her lead reluctantly. “We’ll leave you two to talk.” She shot him a pointed look, given that he’d taken to her as quickly as he had Luna and she’d taken up the unofficial title as his minder.

Because apparently, he needed a minder.

Aza waved at them, looking back at his book.

“Actually talk, Aza.” When he just snorted, Hermione gave a small huff that told him she was irritated at him, following the others out and whispering amongst themselves quietly.

“You cannot still be mad at me for following you to Hogwarts.” 

Folding his legs, he looked at the man levelly for a long moment. “And why wouldn’t I? Thomas, I’ve lived in a house all my life that didn’t care if I left to go to the library and didn’t come back- It may not have been trust and there were other things wrong with that house, but at least I had some degree of freedom.” He shoved at his sleeve, holding up one of his wrists. “I understand these- really, I understand not trusting the Order or even myself with my safety, but aren't these enough?”

‘Tobias’ didn’t even blink, much less think about it. “No.”

Aza closed his eyes for a moment and ran a hand through his messy hair in frustration. “And you say that I’m the hopeless one.”

The man huffed. “I’m not going to apologize for something I don’t regret, but I will say that after consideration, I have found that I am not as... indifferent to the idea of your death as I thought.”

“My death?” His eyebrows drew together in confusion, as that had thrown him for a loop (though it was kind of nice to know that maybe the man wouldn’t kill him the moment he proved to be ‘uninteresting’). “Thomas, Hogwarts is perfectly safe.”

“I have been deliberating on the second prophecy given to Dumbledore and I would rather not see you die before I can figure out your secrets.” ‘Tobias’s’ eyes didn’t meet his, moving to lean against the arm of a nearby chair. “And for every question I think I have answered about you, I find six more.”

Considering that, he nodded slowly. “Fine. But only because I actually dread the day Dumbledore comes for me and I know he’ll be more careful about trying to get into the school if you’re here.” He still frowned though. “Won’t your absence bother the Ministry?”

‘Tobias’ waved a hand. “There is no one that would try to question my choices as long as I keep the government running and show some faint reason for being here. I have chosen my reason, for now, to be the preparatory school for young witches and wizards I am planning to make, though I am sure that in the coming years it will be understood if I am to keep an eye on my chosen prodigy, given how talented Severus and Minerva have told me you are.”

“You mean that all the people that have the power to doubt you and do anything about it are all either paid or marked by you.”

The man grinned toothily. “Perhaps. I’m surprised- you don’t have a comment on how soon when you go anywhere, people will know that you’re the sole reason the Minister himself has designed to run this country from Hogwarts of all places?”

Aza instinctively ran his finger across the book’s pages as he stared at ‘Tobias’, the thought making something inside of his chest twist. “Do you really want that? The whole Wizarding World to know that I’m somehow that important to the man who has for so long been without interest in others?” He tilted his head. “What then? What happens when during one of the Malfoy Yule Balls where Narcissa will want to parade me around, someone will think the best way to get to you is to hurt me? Or when Dumbledore hears and decides to come ‘save’ me from you?”

‘Tobias’s’ grin faded, eyes bleeding red slowly. “They would not dare.”

He shrugged, knowing what he was doing was more than a bit manipulative but not wanting his life to turn into him being known as some sort of ‘special wonder boy’ again. “Either way, my life is in your hands. Though I guess that publicizing the fact that I’m so important would-”

“No.” ‘Tobias’s’ voice verged on a hiss. “You’re right. It would be foolish to state something so outwardly at this time, with the Order still active and hiding somewhere in the crowds of muggles.”

Nodding idly, he sunk back in his chair. “I mean, there will still be rumors, but as a close friend of the Malfoys, it shouldn’t be too bad. You’re my friend and so what if you keep an eye on me for Narcissa?”

“We’re... friends?”

“Yeah.” He raised an eyebrow at where the man seemed to have stilled as if his brain couldn’t process that fact. “I’m not one of your minions and I don’t care how all-powerful you are- we’re friends. I mean, the other option is calling you my mentor, but I like friends more.”

‘Tobias’ blinked slowly at him, like a snake. “Friends then.”

Azarias almost felt bad. He knew that the man hadn’t had many people in his life that were there without ulterior motives, but getting to see that fact up close made him want to employ the touchy Hufflepuff part of himself and hug the man. Instead, he just huffed softly with a small smile. “Friends. Now can I read? I really just need some peace and quiet.”

“Are you planning on going back to ignoring me?” 

He shook his head slightly. “I have reluctantly accepted that you’re here now and there’s nothing I can do about it.”

‘Tobias’ smiled, seeming pleased at that as he moved to actually sit down in the chair he was leaning against. “Nothing at all.”

Being stared at while he was reading wasn’t as uncomfortable as it used to be, though he wasn’t sure what that said about him, finding something akin to ease in the presence of ‘Tobias’s’ obsessive nature.

It turned out with some extra funding and a Headmaster focused more on education and not setting up intricate death traps to prove student’s worth, there were more classes available (two of which were basic classes on warding and healing) along with teachers being able to take on student aids and newer furniture for the Common Rooms.

Rest in peace rickety chair in the Gryffindor Common Room that looked stable but always broke whenever someone sat in it. Its endless stream of amusing moments via gullible first years would be missed.

On the plus side? The Ravenclaw Common Room had beanbag chairs.

This was probably why Hermione said he should never try to drive any type of moving vehicle- because he was already good at cooking and okay at math, so he shouldn’t tempt fate and try to achieve the impossibility of all three, lest Magic make him... straight. [*gasp*]

(...he blamed Draco for his sense of theatrics.)

As it was, he actually found the improvements to the school made his life a lot easier. Without any plots against his life, he could actually have a solid education while also being allowed to blend into the muddle of students as there were no death tournaments to choose him to be ‘special’ or supposed mass murderers after his head. No dead parents to make anyone feel guilty for even looking at him either.

Bartemus Crouch Jr. had taken over the History position after his father had been exposed for using the imperius curse and faking trial records, some time at St. Mungos leaving him as Sirius had been- a bit wild and sort of deranged looking but mostly harmless- and Aza once again took it upon himself to befriend the odd man. A decision Hermione and Padma went with eagerly, Sue and Lisa having a few more doubts but jumping on the train after they realized that the Professor was more than willing to let their little group use their off-periods to hang around the history classroom.

No more getting yelled out of the library was a big plus.

And if ‘Tobias’ ended up sitting with Professor Crouch while they had loud arguments over theoretical nonsense or debates about random topics, then that was all fine and good, as it wasn’t bothering them. 

“No- you don’t understand! Licking rocks is a valid thing to do as a geologist!” Hermione’s voice was raised, hands waving.

Aza just wheezed, clutching at his stomach, almost crying at the face that Lisa was making.

“Hermione, saying that muggles do it doesn’t really help your case.”

The girl with the bushy hair made a noise of offense, much to his and Sue’s amusement. “No- really! If you lick it and it tastes like salt then-”

“Then you should get some mouthwash.” Padma smiled behind her hand.

“NO! It means it might be halite! As in SALT! Jeez- it’s not because it’s weird it’s because Halite crystals look almost exactly like quartz and it’s the only way to tell!” Hermione’s face was flushed, eyes narrowed on Padma, who was trying not to giggle.

There was a soft knock on the door, Draco looking at them curiously. “Hey, Aza. We were wondering if we could-”

“Lick the rocks.” Theo slid past Draco without preamble, moving to sit between Luna and Hermione. “Because then if it sticks to your tongue, you know it’s bone and not rock.”

“THANK YOU!” Hermione sounded relieved to have someone on her side.

Lisa’s face scrunched up even more. “How do you know that bone sticks to your tongue? Plus that’s gross. And can’t you tell it’s bone instead of rock- or what if it’s wood?”

“It would taste like wood.” Theo’s face was deadpan. “Plus technically bones are made of organic materials, so they’re essentially rocks.”

Aza leaned into Luna, out of breath from laughter as he hid his face between her shoulder and the sofa. Looking up to see the Slytherins sitting down where they could, he grinned at them. “Thank you- I now have the impulse to lick my bones and see if I stick.”

There was the sound of someone clearing their throat from the back and ‘Tobias’ stared at him flatly when he looked over. “No hurting yourself. If you wish to test that, I will find you someone else’s bones.”

“I’m good, thanks though, Thomas.” With a faint smile, he then looked at the others, meeting a whole table of partially disbelieving and partially knowing eyes. He blinked at them owlishly, wondering what all the glances around the table meant. “What?”

Hermione shook her head. “What were we talking about before we got sidetracked?”

“Transfiguration.” Luna’s voice was absent. 

“Right, right, of course.” Hermione looked at the Slytherins. “Did any of you do the paper yet?”

And from there, the Slytherins took to the Ravenclaws fairly well, and because they hung around ‘Tobias’ and Barty the older Slytherins gave them more than a little leeway than they would the other Ravenclaws.

Aza was just... bored.

Already. It hadn’t been four months and he was already spacing off during class, staring out the window in thought. Arithmancy and Care of Magical Creatures were engaging, mostly because last life he’d only half paid attention in Care and he’d never taken Arthmancy before, but other than that he had kind of... checked out.

Hermione had noticed, always elbowing him or giving him looks, but this was the first time anyone had specifically sat him down to ask about it.

Snape stared at him from across the desk as if this was a normal teacher-student intervention. “You’ve been passive, Mr. Malfoy. I see you in both class and outside it when you chose to drop into Mr. Crouch’s classroom while he and I are planning for our next classes, so don’t tell me you’re that unresponsive and distracted normally- you can answer a question asked to you when reading like it’s nothing. So why aren’t you engaging in class? I’ve heard your discussions and read your papers, you’re brilliant at Defense, so where’s this lack of enthusiasm stemming from?”

“I’m not interested in defense.”

‘Tobias’ leaned forward from his seat off to the side, eyes curious. “Why not?”

Normal student-teacher talks wouldn’t include a hovering snake.

Aza looked at the man blandly. “The only positions that hold defense in high standard are the Aurors, the industry of selling or taming magical beasts, Hit Wizards, Ward-breakers, and professional Duelers. Even the Unspeakables look at Charms grades before Defense grades. I’m not interested in fighting.” He looked back at Snape in determination. “I want to be a healer.”

“Azarias, to be a healer, you have to be above average at Potions.” When he looked away, the man sighed. “I don't mean to mock your weaknesses, but Slughorn said-”

“What would he know!” Standing, frustrated, he paced the small area in front of the desk.

Slughorn.

That was his only issue with the school in this life- because Snape had wanted the Defense position, Minerva had fallen back on Slughorn since he’d been a teacher for years and knew the school better than even herself. Snape still retained the Slytherin Head of House, but Slughorn had resumed his stupid patronizing ‘Slug Club’. Not to mention he’d always gotten a strange sort of icky feeling from the man and his sticky fingers, so in an attempt to crawl out of the gleam of the man’s greedy eyes, he’d messed up his potions on purpose. 

And it had worked. 

The man had stopped lingering near him or even paying attention to him, but now he was stuck with the stigmatism of being rubbish at potions. Which was annoying, as he’d spent a lot of time with Hermione and Draco working to get better at potions- even went in with Draco to get their mastery together at the same time during a week they had off duty.

Aza scowled deeply at the floor, stopping his pacing and looking at Snape. “I will be a healer, damn what Slughorn says.”

Snape looked at him with questioning eyes. “Sit down, Azarias.” When he did, the man looked at him levelly. “I know that I am not Head of your House, but I expect you to tell me if there is an issue with my class.”

“Not with your class, no.” He looked away, fingers tapping against his thighs. “I want to test out of History, take Runes. And I’d like to get a pass into the restricted section for reading under topics of self-study approved by my teachers outside the normal course material, meaning if I can show an understanding of the material they’re teaching then I’m allowed to read on materials they’re not teaching. Like Alchemy. Or Healing. Or ward-breaking.”

Snape looked at him for a long moment in disbelief. “You think that taking on more course material will help you focus? Am I hearing you correctly?”

“He’s bored.” ‘Tobias’ smiled at him, seeming more amused than anything. “Aren’t you, Angel?”

“Completely and utterly.” Tipping his head back, he looked at the ceiling. “I read the textbooks, the reference books, and then looked ahead on the syllabus for each class. If you’d given me another day or two I was going to try out for Quidditch and just focus on that, but I could probably still be a reserve seeker with my self-study.”

The Professor made a sharp huffing sound at that. “That is a bit overconfident, don’t you think? How do you know you could even test out of history anyway?”

“Crouch assigns comprehensive history textbooks and I got absorbed.” Sinking further into the chair, he waved a hand absently. “I decided to borrow the textbooks of the older students and read them because Flitwick was protesting that I shouldn’t try to rebuild that radio that he,” Aza jerked his thumb in ‘Tobias's’ direction, “destroyed in a fit of irritation.”

“It deserved it. I hate opera.” ‘Tobias’ didn’t sound very apologetic- or surprised, for that matter.

Aza peered at him suspiciously. “Why aren’t you surprised? You’re being weird and that doesn’t bode well for me.”

‘Tobias’ grinned toothily at him. “I have been watching as you picked up book after book from the Malfoy Manor, reading them like they were picture books while bundled in blankets- I would expect no less from you, Azarias. Though I am a bit surprised you don’t have more talent in Potions, what with how often you like to cook with the elves.” When he stared at the man, ‘Tobias’s’ smile turned into something a bit softer, impossibly fond for someone who didn’t know the meaning of the word ‘fond’. “But, then again, I suppose that we all have subjects that we are weak in and you did not grow up around potions as Draco did.”

He forced himself to look away, not knowing how to categorize that expression in his mental file of the man. “I’m not horrible, just not up to Sughorn’s genius standards.” His eyes traced the stone of the ceiling. “Probably why I’m not in Slytherin- don’t all snakes have to be impossibly good at potions? Do you have some sort of entry-level training? Private lessons?”

“We are getting off-topic.” Snape cleared his throat.

Aza’s lips curled up as he looked at Snape out of the corner of his eyes. “That was a horrible change of subject, Professor, are you admitting that you help your students with potions?”

“I am saying that if I catch you reading something not related to defense in my class or falling asleep, I will throw something at you!” 

“Alright.” He smiled and then stood, brushing back his outer robes to put his hands in his pockets. “Is that all?”

Snape huffed, obviously irritated with their meandering conversation. “No- well, yes- but I will talk to Minerva about this! Now just- get out, you give me a headache.” He stood, waving a hand at Aza as he stalked back to his office.

Slinging his satchel over his shoulder, he walked out, finding ‘Tobias’ fell into step with him easily. “You know, what I did when at Hogwarts-”

“A million years ago?”

‘Tobias’ glared at him, starting over. “When I was at Hogwarts-”

“Did you ride a dinosaur to school?”

“I will silence you.”

He grinned. “Well, that’s an improvement on strangling me.” When the man’s eyes flashed red, he held up his hands with a laugh. “Okay, okay, I’ll stop interrupting for now.”

Staying silent for a moment and eyeing him as Aza mimed zipping his lips shut, locking them, and throwing away the key, ‘Tobias spoke slowly. “As I was saying... When I was at Hogwarts, I often entertained myself with side-projects of my own design without the teachers knowing, including exploring the castle. If you cannot find something, you’re welcome to ask, but uncovering the castle’s mysteries is half the fun.”

“And the other half?”

‘Tobias’ flashed him a grin. “Knowing that a part of this historic and ancient piece of history was found by you alone and thus you can claim it as your own.”

He found himself smiling despite himself, shaking his head.

Typical.

Stopping before the Ravenclaw Common Room door, which ‘Tobias’ was still banned from entering, he sent the man a bright smile. “Well… when I wish to spend one of my weekends wandering around the castle with you uncovering secrets, I will be sure to let you know.” 

And yet, some things were better done alone.

Azarias traced the old rotted wood of the door that probably hadn’t been touched in decades, pushing gently and watching the grey door that blended into the stone swung open on rusty hinges. Luckily he was so deep in the dungeons that the sound would probably be put off as a ghost rattling around, moving inside the room and shutting the door firmly behind him before even daring to look back.

In the center of a dusty room was a tall flat object covered by a black sheet that was lined with its own layer of dust.

Flicking his hand to clean the room, he moved before the Mirror of Erised and then reached out slowly to fist his hand in the sheet. It slipped to the floor, even if the material was still caught in his hand.

He didn’t see his parents anymore- nor all those he’d lost like when he’d tracked this room down on impulse after the war.

He didn’t see achievement, like Ron.

No, he suspected that the one person that might understand what he saw would have been Dumbledore because as crazy as the man was, he’d looked into the mirror and seen the man he’d destroyed- just like Aza did.

‘Tobias Mortus Gaunt-Slytherin’- the one man that had taken up so much space in his life so quickly his head practically spun - stood before him with gleaming eyes that sent him a knowing look.

Aza put his hands on his head with his fingers laced together. “Well… Fuck.”

Because with the looming knowledge that he couldn’t die had come many things- apathy to his own safety, indifference to temporary pain, and deep consuming fear that one day he would be left alone, lost from everything he knew.

And who better to offer him companionship but his so-called ‘equal’?

If he truly was a Horcrux somehow, did that mean the other man couldn’t die either?

Was that how this ended- with them either resigning themselves to being interwoven as one or becoming so separate they could never share the same space? Would the two options be love or apathy? And if so, how was he supposed to ever tell ‘Tobias’ that without explaining his past life where Aza had carried out the man’s worst fear by killing him?

“Azarias?”

Head shooting up as the door was pushed open, he stared at the man himself. “Thomas?" His voice came out as a soft question, furrowing his eyebrows. "Why...”

The man looked from him to the mirror. “You missed lunch, so I decided to check your location.” Stepping forward into the room, hands tucked into his pockets, he moved to Aza’s side. “A mirror? I didn’t know this room was here- seems you took my advice after all.”

“It’s the Mirror of Erised.” He waved a hand at the inscribing on the mirror. “Shows you what you want most of all.” He frowned at where the mirror had changed to reflect them, only the other version of himself was smiling widely as he said the same words, hand holding ‘Tobias’s’ and swinging their arms back and forth.

Stupid mirror.

“Interesting...” Stepping forward, ‘Tobias’ ran a hand along the markings.

Mirror ‘Tobias’ twirled mirror Azarias around with a smile before pulling him into his arms, mirror ‘Tobias’s’ fingers carding through the messy curls of mirror Azarias.

He just crossed his arms with a scowl, forcing himself to look away.

“What do you see? You don’t seem very happy with it, whatever it is.” ‘Tobias’ smiled conspiratorially. “Is it embarrassing? You can tell me, I won’t judge you.”

Aza’s nose scrunched up at the syrupy and manipulative tone of the man’s voice. “You tell me what you see first, as you seem just as uninterested in whatever it is, if more curious on how the thing works.”

“How Slytherin of you...” Stepping back to his side, the man stared at the mirror before looking at him with unreadable eyes. “I see a mirror. Go on and move as you wish, it’s just a mirror to me.”

Humming, suddenly curious about something, he moved out of frame under the guise of picking up a piece of rubble off to the side, moving back to see ‘Tobias’ looking from him to the mirror. “Can you see the rock?”

Blinking a few times- as assumedly he’d seen Aza still even when Aza wasn’t in sight of the mirror- the man nodded with a small frown. “Yes… like I said, it’s just a mirror.” Even he didn’t sound like he fully believed that anymore, peering at the mirror for a moment before looking back at him. “I guess I have all I could desire. And you?”

Mirror Azarias and mirror ‘Tobias’ were dancing now, swaying back and forth to a slow song he couldn’t hear. Mirror ‘Tobias’ caught his eyes and winked before tucking his cheek against mirror Azarias’s head. It was stupidly sweet and almost domestically loving in a way that almost made his gay heart ache- if it wasn't for the fact that it was with his nemesis.

(Who was he kidding, it was still goals no matter if it was with Tobias or not especially since the man was so much hotter this time around.)

He glowered at the stupid charmed object that was making him realize far more about his type in men than he would have liked in the middle of the bloody day. “I see Dumbledore. Dead.”

“Hm. A bit more violent than I was expecting, but I can understand the uncertainty in an unpredictable opponent and the want for safety.” Putting a hand on his shoulder, ‘Tobias’ smiled thinly. “He will not hurt you under my protection.”

“...thanks.” He didn’t look back at the mirror, instead just turning slightly to look at ‘Tobias’. “Since I missed lunch, you want to show me where the kitchens are?”

‘Tobias’ smiled a bit wider. “Only if you do not use such information for nefarious purposes.”

“I would never.” He smiled innocently, crossing his fingers behind his back.

The man huffed softly. “Please refrain from lying straight to my face, Azarias. You’re a horrible gremlin and we both know it.”

Laughing, he let the man steer him out of the room, a bright grin on his face. “As long as you know that!”