Chapter Text
It was a well known fact among the populous of Hogwarts that one Harry James Evans could talk to snakes.
Sure, it had been quite the startling revelation when Harry had started to speak in rasps and hisses during one of Hagrid's lessons, but the point is that Harry being a Parselmouth was a known thing to the students of Hogwarts.
So, when Harry started talking about hearing a voice coming from the ground, it was seen as pretty normal.
At least, normal considering the normal chaos that surrounded the redheaded Gryffindor.
By the middle of the year, students and teachers alike had started referring to the boi as a 'Slythindor' due to how often he was visiting the Slytherin common rooms- Turns out, you get a free pass into the Slytherin common room if you spoke the language of the snakes.
Not much Dumbledore or anyone else could do about it due to the fact that the enchantments surrounding the hidden common rooms were so deeply engraved into the stone of the castle that even game-breaking Goblin magiks couldn't untangle it.
On one such day that Harry was down in the den of the snakes having his weekly gossip session with Snape when he suddenly stopped and pressed his ear to the floor, listening intently.
"Something wrong, Evans?" Snape inquired, one eyebrow raised in silent judgmental concern.
"There's a snake under the school.... I think its... Sleeptalking? Huh. I've been exploring the dungeons but it seems like the deepest they go is past holding cell 89b, and the snake's still under even that...."
"Ah. So that's why you've been in the vicinity of Slytherin so much lately." With that question answered, Snape went back to sipping his tea whilst listening to Harry ponder aloud what could possibly be under even the dungeons- And, if there was such a place under the school, how to get to it.
It was about a month after that when Harry learnt of the chamber that Salazar Slytherin allegedly built under the school.
Hermione, ever feral for the pursuit of knowledge, had pursued any and all leads on the possible blueprints of Hogwarts into the deepest and darkest sections of the restricted section, finally finding a few answers in a book entitled 'Hogwarts and the Myths Surrounding Her' by a Doris E. Nelson from 1874 BCE.
(Apparently the 'BCE' part was important knowledge due to the fact that there were apparently several books in the restricted section from before BCE, but Harry wasn't sure if Hermione was pulling his leg or not though).
Regardless, the whole debacle lead to Harry standing in front of the abandoned third floor Girls bathrooms.
Specifically, standing in front of the notoriously nicknamed 'Moaning Myrtle' in the abandoned third floor girl's bathroom.
While it had been a while since Harry 'FREAQ' Evans had livestreamed on Twidge-the app he used to livestream to the Afterlife- Harry still had been recognized and had gracefully handled a... quite honestly stalker-ish fangirl.
It was in that exchange that he learnt how Myrtle had passed.
Two big great yellow eyes stared at her and she woke up intangible.
Hermione was going to have a field day hunting information for that down.
Though Harry was friends with the Malfoys, ultimately Lucius Malfoy had his own agenda to follow.
Said Agenda being getting Dumbledore suspended from his office.
How he did that? Well, Lucius had his mouth next to the minister's ear and a troublesome House Elf to do some reconnaissance for him.
Dobby was a very strange elf.
If you asked what other elves thought of him, they'd tell you he was weird for wanting to be a free elf.
Freedom isn't inherently a bad thing in house elf society, but it is seen as weird if one holds it above all- Which Dobby did.
He lived for going out on his own and exploring the world, he loved when Lucius sent him to check up on Hogwarts (Read: and Draco).
Having the freedom to travel and wander and live life at his own pace was something that Dobby desired deeply- And unfortunately, that wasn't something the Malfoys could provide.
They had high societal standards to live up to and a family life, meaning constant care had to be taken of both the estate and those living on it.
So all in all, not an ideal situation for both Dobby or the family he was serving.
Which is why, once Draco returned from school for the summer and a new elf was hired, Dobby was to be set free; He couldn't wait!
But first, he had been tasked with exploring the Forbidden Forest and finding any evidence that could possibly get Dumbledore suspended from his office.
And it was then, at a very plot convenient point cuz the author may or may not want to get book 2 done so more shenanigans can happen, that the needed evidence appeared.
It was such a shame that Hagrid got pulled into Dumbledore's suspension- The Half giant had been sent to a holding cell in the ministry for illegally caring for a non-register colony for Acromantula for decades at this point.
(Hagrid would be fine, a small fine and mandatory care of magical creatures classes to review the laws and bylaws surrounding it and he'd be free to go)
It was weird though, was this where all the spiders in Hogwarts had gone to?
No one had seen hide or hair of a single spider other than the ones used for potions ingredients in years.
In a twist of fate, it had been during one of Harry's regular interactions with his mother that gave him the answers that had been driving Hermione mad the past few week.
He found himself standing in front of a sink in the abandoned third floor girls bathroom yet again, staring at himself in the grimy mirror.
Tilting his head and circling the ring of sinks, our Slythindor protagonist looked for the snake shaped emblem on one of the faucets.
And there it was.
Right where his mother said it'd be.
Maybe in another time, another world, another canon, he and his friends would be rushing down the opening chasm that formed the chute down to the chamber; maybe they'd even be rushing to save a family member from certain death.
Maybe that family member had even been possessed by a certain book-turned-Hoarcrux and have their life force sucked out by the memory of a 16 year old rising dark lord, whos soul piece was embedded in said dairy.
Maybe the past Dark Lordlet would even command the giant basilisk that lived down in the chamber, raised by the tender hands of Salazar Slytherin himself; and mayhaps, in that case, there would be a battle between a 12 year old child and the 16 year old soul fragment commanding said basilisk, where a phoenix arrived and the 12 year old pulled the sword of Gryffindor out of the sorting hat.
Alas, that isn't a rewrite of 'The Chamber of Secrets'.
This is the authors attempt at taking a shitty authors work and turning it into a work that welcomes everyone no matter what they were born as/with or identify as into it.
No matter if they're pale or dark skinned, transfem or transmasc, or even a gender that one had to create for themselves cuz nothing else fit.
From disabilities to able-bodied, all are welcome in this fic!
Even with how shitty this work is written lol
In this world, no soul fragment greeted Harry Evan as he arrived in the Chamber, no aggressive giant snakes or dying redheads either.
In this continuity, Harry Evans is greeted by the peaceful echo of dripping water as he clack-clack-clacks down the center aisle of the chamber as he made his way to the giant statue of a face in the dome-like center of the structure.
Breathing in, he heard where the rasping whisper of sleep talk had been talking to him for months on end.
Ironically it was coming from the giant man's face; Walking up and touching it, he was reminded of his mother's words.
" Harry, when you see that giant statue's face, tell it to open."
"Why?"
" you'll see"
Shivering, Harry shook the thought of his mothers other gift off- A cursed mummified hand that scared the shit outta Harry after it had grabbed him suddenly- And took a breath in.
He could do this.
"Open."
Harry hated his mother.
And at the same time loved him.
Thanks to him, Harry had quite the heart attack when a giant snake slithered out of the mouth of the statue's face, but on the other hand, He got to boop the snoot of a very cute and good snek, and even more than that, he now had a new companion.
Jimothey hadn't been fond of the name Harry had proposed for them, so they both defaulted to the same Salazar Slytherin had given them- Jasper.
And the best part?
with a smidge of Parselmagik, Jasper shrunk down to fit around Harry's neck, and together they both headed home to the Malfoy's Estate for another summer in.
Dobby in tow, they Malfoy family had just gotten done hiring another House Elf, and Dobby was soon off with the promise of visiting Draco and Harry any chance he could get in-between his adventures.
It seemed like in the end, Harry's second year at Hogwarts has been pretty calm- A harsh contrast to how his year might've went were anyone else rewrote the series.
The calmness would end in the next year though, but that's a story for another time.