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Aquarius was in his library.
The sun had not yet risen. Candlelight and cool tiles were his companions in this tiny microcosm of written worlds. Musty books and dried ink were his early morning delight, planned just before the breakfast rush and morning training. His fingers felt so right in between the pages. He savored every sentence he could read within these precious moments.
Dégel was jolted by a sharp knock at the door. Odd. Kardia wouldn’t knock, let alone be awake at this hour. Perhaps it was another summons by the Pope. He slid a threaded bookmark along his last read passage and took off his glasses.
“You may enter.”
He closed his book as the grand doors swung open. Aquarius raised his eyebrows as his guest strode inward, the wooden hinges whining the entrance shut behind him. El Cid. Donned in his Cloth, Dégel noted. If he isn’t here to relay a message, perhaps he finished his morning training or had returned from a mission. Stoic blue eyes gave nothing away.
“Capricorn El Cid? What a pleasant surprise. To what do I owe the honor?”
“Aquarius Dégel, you are known as the most intelligent Saint in all of Sanctuary. Is this true?”
Dégel cleared his throat and smiled.
“That is what others say of me, yet I confess there is much I do not know. Sanctuary’s library is vast yet the world is forever changing. There are stories within these tomes that have been proven false, and I strive to keep them relevant for all generations of Saints. Constant maintenance of the truth is vital.”
Glancing at his guest’s unmoved expression, Aquarius frowned and reigned himself in from further babbling. It was terribly rude of him to bore his senior. He returned his book to its proper shelf and laid his glasses on the reference desk. Dégel smoothed his palms together, facing El Cid with composure.
“How is this related to your visit, if I may ask?”
“I seek answers.”
Aquarius straightened his back to the sharp reply. El Cid wasn’t known for his subtlety. If this request merited such a grave tone, then it must be dire. He placed a hand over his heart, a modest salute to the cause.
“Please elaborate for me. If it is within my power, then I shall assist.”
El Cid lowered his eyes—just for a blink—before they pierced the air between him and Dégel.
“A short time ago, there was an irregularity in my training. My concentration has been inconsistent ever since. This morning proved to me that it shall continue unless it is addressed.”
“An irregularity?”
“When I attempt to clear my mind of all thought, I fail.”
“That is… concerning.”
Never before had he heard El Cid losing his focus. Everyone knew him as the infallible blade that could cut through anything. Aquarius leaned toward Capricorn and squinted. He appeared to be in good health, and he saw nothing indicating an injury. Whatever could be the matter?
“I cannot silence my thoughts for Sisyphus.”
Dégel blinked.
“Sisyphus?”
“When I think of him, my chest tightens. My palms sweat. My stomach swells. My mind can see his smile and nothing else. It is difficult to breathe, and I feel a burning sensation around my heart. I find myself thinking of him with increasing frequency. I have tried every technique that I know, and they remain ineffective in restoring clarity. This is the first time I have encountered this and...”
Capricorn sliced his hand in front of his chest. Enough.
“Aquarius Dégel, you are the most intelligent of all Saints. Can you tell me what I must do to mend this disturbance?”
Dégel’s cheeks reddened and his lips puttered. El Cid raised an eyebrow, his voice as smooth as marble.
“What ails you?”
“You—are—”
Aquarius covered his mouth with a hand before he shuffled back to the desk. In his bumbling, he almost knocked over the lit candlesticks. He wobbled his glasses back on his nose while muttering something that sounded like, “Isn’t he older than me?” Like a chased hare, Dégel bounced back to the bookshelves.
“I—I must apologize, this is beyond my expertise. I am woefully inept to offer meaningful answers for you.”
“Are you certain?”
“No!”
Dégel shot the reply like lightning. He pressed his knuckles to his forehead and dunked his head against the bookshelf.
“I mean, yes! Maybe! Wait there, please.”
El Cid obeyed and watched Dégel scan through a row of books. He plucked one with worn edges and brushed off the dust. When the younger man returned to his guest, he cleared his throat. His cheeks were still pink as he presented El Cid the tome with both hands.
“Forgive me again for my inexperience. Though I am powerless to aid you, perhaps the words of our forefathers shall provide you assistance. Please keep this for as long as you need.”
“You have my gratitude, Aquarius Dégel.”
Taking the gift with one hand, El Cid’s mantle swished hard as he turned for the exit.
“Capricorn El Cid.”
He halted and looked over his shoulder. Dégel fidgeted his fingers.
“I—I wish you success. May you be well.”
* * * * *
Virgo was in his mind.
Gentle sunlight warmed the tiles around him. His long hair whisked his bare arms in a cooling breeze. Smoke from burning incense hovered in the air. He imagined the soft ringing of an ancient temple bell, the sound resounding in his belly. Breathing in and out at a steady pace, finding his fixed center.
And foiled by a giant flood of noise.The clanking of plates for the midday meals, the voices of cadets babbling woes. Further below, the slamming of the blacksmith’s hammer on his anvil, the rolling of wooden wheels on dirt roads. Closer to his temple, the chirping of birds and fluttering of wings suggested a civil war afoot.
Today, his senses were not being generous. So much activity in Sanctuary when the sun was high. Perhaps he should disappear into the Underworld for a spell. Predicting the ill will there was productive and a simpler task.
He tilted his head. A giant fiery cosmo was heading towards him, one that was sharp and fierce. Formed by an impenetrable will. Deep within it was a peculiar disturbance, one that Asmita hadn’t felt in this cosmo before. He predicted it to be the reason for his visitor’s appearance and sighed. Common decency bade him to modest greetings.
“Capricorn El Cid. What brings you to Virgo Temple?”
The clattering of metal plating halting on stone tile.
“Virgo Asmita, you are known as the Saint closest to the gods. Is this true?”
Asmita humphed.
“To those in this realm, I appear that way. I believe myself to be too inadequate to embody that lofty title. There are several who surpass my reach into other realms, and several still who have conversed with the gods without dragging their feet through the mud such as I. For your present circumstances, however, you may accept me as such.”
“I seek answers.”
Ah... don’t we all.
“What is that you seek?”
He felt the faintest tremor in Capricorn’s cosmo. This disturbance again. How could the trusted blade of Athena be so bent to human emotions? Curious.
“I cannot halt my thoughts for Sisyphus.”
”Does this hinder you in some way?”
El Cid grunted. Asmita assumed the brief huff was a positive response.
“Once I am alone, I cannot clear my mind of him. I see his smile and nothing else. I have not been successful in restoring my training since this has occurred.”
Thump, shhh. The sound of El Cid trailing his hand across a book.
“This morning I sought intelligence for guidance and was led to the words of our ancestors. From what I could decipher, the authors have similarities to what I am experiencing. Yet these men pray to the gods for fortune and success. Only then do they achieve what motivates them. Virgo Asmita, you are known as the Saint closest to the gods. Can you tell me if the gods are listening?”
The blond man hummed. Quite the question to ask. He had one of his own.
“If you seek wisdom from the gods, why not go to Lady Athena?”
“I do not desire to face Sisyphus without sufficient preparation.”
Asmita smiled. How fitting for El Cid to know the precise location of Sagittarius’s cosmo.
“It is true the gods are listening. They listen, yet they do not receive us in ways we humans can always accept. Human struggles are confronted by human actions. The gods will watch over us. That is what I have learned by serving our goddess.”
“I see.”
“However, I ask this of you: do you think it wise to trust gods with our human thoughts? Moreover, are we right to share our sorrows and our joys with a single person in this life? Our bonds to this world tie us to countless souls in countless lifetimes. As I hear your devotion to one, I wonder if that alone is just.”
Curling his fingers within his lap, Asmita raised his chin towards the direction of El Cid’s cosmo.
“Will your pursuit for Sisyphus grant you the mercy you seek? Or will resuming your training be what saves you? Both are united in your statements, but they are not the same. I believe you must be clear on which path it is that you seek.”
El Cid hummed.
“You have my gratitude, Virgo Asmita.”
Virgo nodded. The clattering of metal plating was moving away from him.
“Capricorn El Cid.”
El Cid’s footsteps stopped, the sound of fabric fluttering in place.
“Your cosmo is pure and forthright. I trust you will find your proper path.”
* * * * *
Libra was in his paradise.
Everyone he knew in his life was celebrating with a huge banquet in a blooming peach garden. Wine and food aplenty. Laughter and smiles all around. That poor old mentor of his was human again, and he was dancing with his wife and his friend. Athena was happy and playing with the children of her youth. Dohko toasted his fellow Saints, refilling their cups when they emptied.
Then the tiger spotted the one person he wanted to see the most. His best friend. Standing by himself underneath the prettiest peach tree and bathed in glittering sunlight.
Dohko ran to his side, calling out his name. His attention gained, his best friend’s greenish blond hair swirled in the wind to face him. His maroon eyes were free of sorrow and guilt. When Dohko got closer, he was greeted with the sweetest smile. And he latched a hand onto Dohko’s wrist with a rocklike grip.
“Libra Dohko.“
Huh? That was too deep to be Shion’s voice. Wait…
Dohko snorted and bolted up, nearly falling off the tree branch. He wobbled his hips and rocked his upper body. What tiger plummets from the tree he climbed? Not him!
“I’m awake! I wasn’t sleeping!”
His attention snapped to the hand holding his wrist, the one that helped anchor his equilibrium. With a nervous chuckle, Dohko brightened to the cool man staring down at him from the adjacent tree branch.
“Oh, Lord El Cid! Thank you for the assistance.”
El Cid released Dohko the instant he balanced himself.
“Libra Dohko, you are known as the Saint who best judges morality. Is this true?”
“You mean knowing between right and wrong? My Cloth says so.”
“I seek answers.”
Dohko did his best to survey his comrade, squinting away the sleep and rubbing the corner of his eyes. What was it that day that knocked him out? Too much training? Too much thinking? He was already drooping.
“Okay, I’ll help. As long as you don’t tell anyone about me nearly falling out of a tree.”
El Cid curled his bottom lip. The young tiger was not ignored. He redirected himself.
“There is someone who I wish to protect at all costs. Their happiness is becoming my lone priority. My mind must be clear. I requested aid from intelligence and was led to the gods. The gods questioned if these feelings are just. Libra Dohko, you are known as the judge of morality among the Saints. Can you tell me if what I am experiencing is right?”
Dohko yawned and scratched the back of his head.
“Hmm, nothing sounds horrible to me. Everyone has someone they wish to protect, someone they want to see happy. Just because they’re a man or a woman or a god or whatever shouldn’t make a difference. Lady Athena says all life matters. As long as there is love and justice in our hearts, then anything is possible.”
As if a comet struck him, Dohko’s heart jumped. Green eyes closed with a smile.
“Yes, as long as we have love...”
“Love?”
The younger Gold Saint grunted. He crossed his arms and leaned his back straight against the tree. No more dipping and wobbling for him!
“A flash of it, you could say. Other people can criticize and forbid it, but true love is open to whoever is in love and the ones who love them back.”
Libra pointed his chin toward the full moon. He opened his eyes to admire its loveliness.
“Like the sun and moon. People say they’re fated enemies because they rule opposing realms, but they’re really a union of two souls working together in the same sky. Every day they serve as our beacons in absolute light and darkness. Without their eternal dance on the horizon, we would be robbed of so many precious gifts, so much beautiful hope. There wouldn’t be life. Who’s to say that is unjust?”
Glancing at Capricorn’s adult face, Dohko laughed. Here he was, rambling like an old man to someone who lived more years than him.
“You’ve already done the first step by focusing on that person’s happiness. It’s on your shoulders to do what you want. How about talking to that person and asking them what they think? You’ll get more answers out of them than me.”
El Cid raised an eyebrow at the last remark. His voice remained as sharp as a blade.
“You have my gratitude, Libra Dohko.”
The younger Saint blinked at El Cid’s soft smile. Or was it a moonlit shadow tricking his blurry vision?
“Ah, don’t mention it...?”
Sensing that his senior was going to jump, Dohko hurried his follow-up.
“Lord El Cid!”
El Cid kept his knees bent. A few leaves were shaken by Capricorn’s halted weight and fluttered to the ground far below. Flashing him a toothy grin, Dohko raised a fist.
“Thanks for the chat! It helped clear up something for me too. Let’s share a drink sometime!”
* * * * *
Sagittarius was in his Cloth. Taurus was in his Cloth.
Sisyphus and Aldebaran were assigned patrol that night. They had finished checking the corridors and entryways to Athena’s Chambers. Now it was scouting the forest area on its steep cliffside. Simple task for the veterans. They weaved in and out of the trees, checking every shadowy corner and every patch of moonlight. Cosmo heightened to detect any disturbance.
Which was why Aldebaran tapped his giant knuckles on his old friend’s armored shoulder. Something was distressing about his cosmo's wavelength that night, and he was fed up by the silence. If his friend was beating himself up about something again, he would shoulder it for him. No one was suffering on his watch if he could afford it. Not a dangerous cosmo or enemy in sight. Patrol could wait.
“Sisyphus, what’s wrong?”
Golden wings glittered to a halt in the moonlight. A gentle chuckle and a tame smile.
“Wonderful perception, Aldebaran. I should’ve known I couldn’t fool you the entire night.”
“And I’m proud of it! I’ve known you for too long to let that happen.”
Sagittarius looked over his shoulders, his scouting eyes whipping to the last patch of shadows he hadn’t checked. The signal for rest began when he sighed and shuffled his feet.
“It’s about El Cid.”
Aldebaran crossed his arms, his eyebrows raised.
“What about him?”
“Well…”
The leader described his morning. He was invited by El Cid to join him in his training regime with no Cloths. Fair enough, Sisyphus could always use the practice. Both Saints agreed to meet before the sun rose, the sharpest time of day for concentration and refinement. A perfect time for Gold Saints to practice their skills without spectators.
Sisyphus came to the training ground El Cid had arranged in advance. Undecorated, flat, and away from foot traffic. Suited for a wide range of techniques. Nearby was the river running through Sanctuary for a quick wash. The swordsman had finished his warm ups by the time the archer arrived. El Cid greeted with a nod and silence.
Aldebaran shrugged.
“Nothing out of the ordinary so far.”
“To that, we are in agreement.”
Perhaps it was his excitement for training with an equal or the nostalgia of his cadet days because Sisyphus’s blood boiled. He invited El Cid to a round of quick spars—no cosmo usage to keep it fair—and declined the offer to warm up first. An unwise move, as it turned out. Seven clashes ended with the archer on his back.
Yet Sisyphus was learning as he fought and formed a counter. Whenever the swordsman swung his arm, the right side of his ribs was vulnerable. A tiny window of opportunity, and it was what the leader used to tackle El Cid and pin him flat on his back. Finally, he won a match! He couldn’t contain his jubilation and laughter. His opponent was just that powerful!
Oh, but when he checked on El Cid lying beneath him—then he felt guilty for not restraining himself sooner.
“He seemed... unwell.”
“What? How?”
“Well…”
El Cid froze. His eyes were wide with shock. Sisyphus worried he may have done irrecoverable damage to his partner until he felt the quick breathing and heartbeat racing underneath him.
He spotted a gash on El Cid’s temple that wasn’t there before, so the archer ran to the river. In his haste, he had forgotten to bring any handheld cloth so he took off his shirt—an old trick from his cadet days. He drenched a corner, just enough to wipe away the injury, and hurried back to El Cid who still lay prone on his back. Sisyphus tended to his partner’s injury, apologizing for the rudeness of his crude cleaning tool.
To his relief, the wound was shallow. He was glad when the younger man accepted his offered hand and did most of the lifting for getting El Cid back on his feet. Somehow, that wasn't enough. The swordsman stood like a mountain. Concerned, Sisyphus put his hand on his shoulder to rouse him.
“After that, El Cid excused himself. I’ve tried to check on him since, of course. But it appears he has been acting strangely and avoiding his everyday locations. His subordinates are just as mystified by his absence at the training grounds. I know he’s not away on a mission...”
“Hmm… You weren’t taking it easy on him, were you?”
“I swear on Athena’s endless love that I was not. I would never insult my comrades like that.”
“Well...”
Aldebaran tipped his head back, his eyes closed, his lips rounded into a bull’s snout. He bowed his head forward and hummed to the rattling of thoughts. A few seconds later, he straightened and opened his eyes.
“I see. I don’t have any idea what could be amiss.”
“Me either. That’s why I’m worried. I didn’t mean to show him any disrespect or hurt his pride. Nevertheless, it feels like my fault. If this continues...”
Now that got a laugh out of the giant.
“Sisyphus! You are the last person on earth El Cid would abandon!”
“But—”
“But nothing! I may not know him well, and he is a hard man for me to read. I do know how that man lives. He will return to your side soon enough.”
With one mighty hand, Aldebaran shook Sisyphus by the shoulder. His wings batted and fluttered with each rock.
“And you! You can rest assured that you are not at fault. You acted as a true comrade and Saint. There is no way your kindness could have hurt him. I, Aldebaran, am proud of that truth. You should be too!“
“Aldebaran...”
Laughing again, Aldebaran put his hands on his hips.
“Tell you what: leave the rest of tonight’s patrol to me. You search for El Cid and clear up any misunderstandings. Knowing you, you won’t feel like yourself again unless you do that, right? Don’t worry, a patrol for two is child’s play to me. You just look after what’s most important to you at this moment.”
Giving in to a slow smile, Sisyphus chuckled.
“Thank you, my old friend. I shall take you on your offer. I am so blessed to have your constant kindness.”
Aldebaran pouted, his cheeks tinged pink.
“I-Idiot! Stop your driveling and get going.”
Taurus huffed as he stomped further in the forest, leaving a smiling Sagittarius to ponder his next move.
If he wasn’t training during the day, then perhaps—
* * * * *
Capricorn was in his element.
Shnnk, shnnk, shnnk. Deep breaths. Focus on honing the blade. Burn cosmo at the sharpest point, then unleash! Shnnk, shnnk, shnnk!
No training for the majority of the day, and yet his sword somehow felt sharper than before. He could slice each falling leaf in half before they fell to the ground. Nearby boulders were bisected with ease. The cold air revitalized his lungs. His right arm pulsed with life.
One cleave across the river, and a high wave splashed into the forest. He caught his breath as the pitter-pattered chorus of the trees surrounded him. El Cid rose to his feet and nodded.
At last, my form has returned.
“I knew you would be here.”
El Cid pivoted to the benign voice. Golden wings shone bright in the moonlight.
“Sisyphus...”
“Exemplary form as always. I marvel at your dedication in this hour.”
Capricorn balled his hand into a fist. Sisyphus was too kind. There was much to improve, and his basic stance was unworthy of such praise. Such thoughts would accomplish nothing if voiced. He focused on what was immediate.
“What brings you here?”
“You.”
El Cid grunted. That warm sensation in his chest again… It spread as Sisyphus came closer to him, the archer stopping a few steps away. With a peaceful smile, Sagittarius continued.
“To be precise, I would like to apologize to you.”
“For what reason?”
“I fear I may have caused you unnecessary grief earlier this morning. When I laughed then, it wasn’t meant as an insult to you. I was overjoyed because I never thought I would be able to defeat your fearsome strength. I lost myself to the thrill of victory. Forgive me for any inconvenience I may have caused.”
Sisyphus bowed his head, his eyes closed.
The younger man lowered his eyes. Grief? Humiliation? No, what he felt at that time was nothing close to those sentiments. How could he say what he felt? What he felt was too new to give a voice. El Cid took in a shallow breath.
“Why do you perceive it as an inconvenience?”
Raising his chin, Sisyphus’s smile wavered. His blue eyes were downward.
“It embarrasses me to say this, but I was lonesome. I didn’t feel your cosmo near my side after that incident. When I tried looking for you during the day, it was like I was chasing your phantom. I was worried that I upset you.”
“...And that caused you guilt?”
“Yes.”
The quickness of the reply surprised him, even if it was expected. El Cid frowned.
“It was no fault of your own. On the contrary, I must apologize to you.”
“What?”
Bewildered, Sisyphus straightened his posture.
“For what reason?”
“I caused you unnecessary grief this morning. My incompetence was an inconvenience to you. Forgive me.”
“Your incompetence? If anything, you were superb! I was outclassed by you.”
“No. That is a misinterpretation.”
El Cid breathed deep. If he were to ever conquer his fear, then he must take this chance. Any other time would be too late. He stepped forward, about two steps away from Sisyphus, and lowered himself into a kneel. The swordsman bowed his head, unable to see his leader’s raised shoulders.
“El Cid, what do you mean? Would you please explain to me?”
“The fault is mine. Yet I hesitate to state the reasons.”
Sisyphus spotted the faintest quiver in the swordsman’s fingers. He kneeled as well, his chin upright and his lips in a straight line. He placed his hand on El Cid’s grounded fist.
“Please let me help. Start from the beginning.”
Calming words from the same source of his doubts. Even so...
El Cid complied. Like he was delivering a mission report, he left no detail unchecked about how his day was spent. He endeavored to clear any further misunderstandings between them, for both their sakes. It wouldn’t be fair for the leader to remain unaware. Sisyphus would torture himself over it, no matter how slight the blemish it caused.
Describing how he felt to Sisyphus was less difficult than he imagined. Pressure on his shoulders was lifted, and his breathing regained its natural rhythm. For a mysterious reason, the warmth from Sisyphus’s hand gave him courage to finish.
“Once I could name what I experienced, I could call upon my blade again. Regardless of how mistaken it was, I now know that it was an affront to have ever deemed these feelings a hindrance. Forgive me.”
His request fulfilled, El Cid raised his head. His eyes widened. Sisyphus’s blue eyes were wider than his. His cheeks were reddened, his jaw was loose. His lips were opened, as if the words that begged to be said were sniped onto them. El Cid never saw him like that before. Was he unwell?
“Sisyphus?”
“Uh, I—”
Sagittarius sputtered, as though he had just remembered to breathe. He swayed and toppled out of his kneel. El Cid bolted his hands up to catch Sisyphus’s armored shoulders, his fingers being grazed by the flap of metal wings. He waited for the archer to right himself before dropping his hands away. On his knees and bowing his head, Sisyphus placed a fist over his forehead.
“F-Forgive me! I don’t mean to be rude. This-this is the first time—I’m at a loss.”
“I can understand if it displeases you. I do not expect reciprocation.”
“No, that’s not—I mean, I haven’t—”
“Sisyphus.”
Capricorn curled his fingers on top of Sagittarius’s fist.
“I will wait for your answer.”
“For-for what reason?”
“I have learned today that such feelings are not frivolous. My desire is to inform, not to enforce them. I am simply honored to share this space with you.”
“El Cid...”
El Cid frowned, his eyes narrowing.
“There is another reason why I must apologize. Why I do not mind waiting.”
“And that is?”
“Though the men in my motherland are known for their displays of affection, I am a disgraceful failure. Forgive me. If you should answer these feelings now, I would be ill prepared to nurture them.”
As if he were given the lifeboat he needed to stay afloat, Sisyphus laughed. He raised his face to show off his bashful smile.
“No apologies needed. We would be the same!”
“Sisyphus…”
Sagittarius scooted closer to Capricorn. His fist unraveled to cup his palm on El Cid’s cheek. El Cid kept his hand on top.
“I am grateful for your generosity and your trust. I will not squander them.”
“Hmm.”
“Time, then. Please give me a few days to think, and then we will both be ready.”
“Understood.”
Sisyphus chuckled and bowed his head again. The redness spread to his neck and ears. El Cid closed his eyes, committing the warmth on his face and his heart to memory. Relief cradled him for the first time that day.
He finally heard the answer he sought.