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CLAPPING EMOJIS EVERYWHERE

Summary:

Who is lapsang-and-earlgrey? An in-depth investigative profile.

Notes:

This dirty, filthy, shocking text below is for my internet love, lapsang-and-earlgrey.
Brace yourself before you go any further, for you may never look at her the same way again.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THE PERSON WHO MAKES EVERY DAY WORTH IT IN FANDOM AND BEYOND <3
Love you a ton Lap!

Work Text:

There was a fandom mom
Whose foot she always stomps.
She twisted her ankle
It caused a rankle
And we said whomp whomp whomp.

You see she runs the Discord
For the boys of Double-Oh-Quad.
She's strict and stern
We fear the burn
But we definitely have the best mod.

Her skills are second to none
And without her it's no fun.
She's a chef and a tailor
And an ice cream maker
And every battle with Pam she's won.

She has a kinky name no doubt
We call her "Lap" and what does that make you think about?
She's a wee 5 feet
With a soul so sweet
And too often Forger makes her shout.

So Forger is the naughty one you assume
Yet the mod doesn't bring doom and gloom.
Lap is patient and kind
She really doesn't mind
That Forger shits a prompt in every room.

Now it's no surprise Turing is her fav
He's a kitty who is oh so brave.
He adores his Auntie Lap
He trusts its not a trap
Unlike his big sis who digs Lap's grave.

In this family Bond claims the twins as his,
And Alex Turner is a math wiz.
Pam flouts the rules
But Lap has the tools
To enforce every house rule there is.

Our Lap always hovers nearby
To protect the boy who is not a spy.
Danny Holt is a treasure
All the Percies for his pleasure
And she'll kill you if you make him cry.

Lap knows when something's worth a fuss,
And it's not forgotten stuffing on the bus.
She's an activist not a bystander
She will always speak with candor
That's why we're so honored she's ONE. OF. US!