Chapter Text
Main timeline. Post-epilogue.
Naruto sighed as he reclined back in the Hokage's chair. He had heard that Tsunade had originally planned on making Kakashi the Rokudaime Hokage, but Kakashi had gone ahead and got sucked off into another world, so she was forced to directly give it to Naruto.
Well, okay. He said "forced", but Tsunade had all but shoved the hat onto his head, cackling the entire time. He had been a bit confused initially until he was shown into the Hokage's office – and, more importantly, the absolutely ungodly stack of paperwork that was waiting for him.
Apparently, Tsunade, believing that there was a very good chance that Konoha was going to be destroyed sometime in the near future, had decided to simply not... do any of the paperwork. Her exact words at the time had been "I'm not going to waste my time now if we're all going to be blown into oblivion anyway."
And perhaps it wouldn't have been so bad if she had decided to take this impromptu vacation after the destruction of Konoha had occurred. Then, it would only be about a week's worth of unfinished paperwork. But no, she had said this a good six months before Pain had attacked for some reason, coincidentally around the same time a diplomatic conference had been held in Iwa.
Naruto had no idea how she got away with it, he really didn't.
Even now, several months after the Fourth Great Shinobi had ended, Naruto was still working through the backlog.
Sometimes, he wondered if Sasuke had the right idea, going missing-nin.
Speaking of that bastard, after Naruto had tried to recruit him to help with the paperwork, Sasuke had gone ahead and tried to "assassinate" Koharu and Homura in order to get himself thrown into a maximum security prison.
And Naruto knew for a fact Sasuke could break himself out without breaking a sweat. He knew this because Sasuke had broken himself out every single week in order to work on the seal to bring Kakashi back, then promptly broke himself back in before Naruto could drag him off to help with the paperwork.
Naruto let out another sigh. Being Hokage wasn't as good as he thought it would be. Don't get him wrong, he loved the role and all, but sometimes it was really troublesome. And boring. Sage, was it boring.
It was almost a relief when a group of assassins infiltrated Konoha, snuck into his office, and tried to murder him.
「」
"Man," Naruto looked positively bemused. "They really sent assassins after me?"
Kakashi shrugged from where he was examining the tied-up assassins with a critical eye. Now that was another thing Naruto was a bit miffed about. He and Sasuke, the transmigrations of the sons of the Sage of Six Paths himself, had worked endlessly on a method to bring Kakashi back from whatever dimension he had disappeared into – only for it to all be for naught when Kakashi somehow created his own seal and made his way back.
"Maa," Kakashi drawled. "Looks like these are Ame fanatics who wanted revenge for Pain's demise. Speaking of which, your ANBU guards accidentally killed a couple of them."
Naruto blinked. "Really? Oh. I guess they were weaker than I had expected. Y'know, I'm honestly offended that they thought they would be able to kill me – OH SAGE WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!"
Kakashi looked up from where he was casually munching on the arm of one of the dead assassins.
"I was hungry." He then paused in realization. "Oh, I'm sorry." He held out the other arm. "Did you want some too?"
The other assassins and hidden ANBU in the room practically shit their pants in horror as Naruto stared at him with wide eyes. "Since when did you become a cannibal?! What the hell?"
Kakashi tilted his head. "I didn't mention? I'm a ghoul now. I can only eat human flesh."
"You're a WHAT?!"
Naruto stared at him for another several seconds. Then, in a golden flash, he blurred out of his office, rushing into the Konoha prison while tearing apart all the security seals in the process and breaking his way into Sasuke's cell.
Sasuke bolted upright, alarm in his mismatched eyes. "I swear, if you try to get me to help you with your paperwork again, I really will kill them this time - "
"Sasuke," Naruto said, his expression panicked. "Please tell me one of the powers you gained from your sharinnegan is exorcism. Please."
"What?"
"I NEED YOU TO EXORCISE KAKASHI-SENSEI!"
Sasuke stared at him. "... yeah, I really don't know why I came back here."
「」
"Yamato-sensei! You need to help me! Kakashi just – just ate someone!"
"Oh shit," Yamato cursed. "Not again."
"Wait. Again?!"
Main timeline. Epilogue.
"I've been reading a lot lately, and I think I've finally got it," Kakashi said, his expression completely serious. He held up his manga. "You, Touka Kirishima, are a tsundere."
There was a long moment of silence.
"What," Touka said flatly.
"It makes perfect sense. Every time you insult me, you're just trying to hide your true feelings for me."
Touka looked physically sick at the very thought. "God, no. Please don't say that."
"Denying yourself again, hmm? It's alright. You don't have to say it. I already know."
Touka shook her head slowly in abject horror, holding up her hands as if to shield herself. "Stop. Please stop. I – I can't. You're actually ill. You need help, Kakashi."
"Don't worry, Touka," Kakashi smiled. "You're precious to me too."
Touka whimpered.
Alternate timeline.
"If you won't eat... then I'll just have to help you!" With that, Touka slammed her hand against Kaneki's mouth, specks of blood trailing through the air and splattering Kaneki's face as Touka forced human flesh into his mouth.
"Holy shit, Touka, chill," Kakashi said, looking aghast. "Don't just... shove a pile of gore into his mouth like that."
Touka turned to look at him, ignoring Kaneki flailing around in panic as he dropped to his knees and spit everything out, gagging heavily and practically vomiting. "But he refuses to eat," she said simply. "And a starving ghoul is a danger to everyone around him and himself. Also, I'm pissed at him."
"Touka," Kakashi's voice was laced with disapproval. "This isn't the way to do things."
"Yeah?" Touka scoffed. "Then tell me how I should do it. Shove a needle into his eye for an IV infusion?"
"A bit overkill, but I do get where you're coming from. It would be rather disastrous if Kaneki here went on a rampage in public because he was starving." Kakashi turned to regard Kaneki. "As much as he may loathe the idea, he needs to eat."
"I'm glad you agree." Touka was already tearing off another piece of flesh from the corpse on the ground, but stopped when Kakashi held up his hand.
"Touka," Kakashi's expression was serious. "Hear me, and hear me well, for I'm about to impart a vital life lesson upon you that will serve you for many years to come. Using violence and force is never the way to do things. Instead, diplomacy and talking things out are vastly superior methods."
"You of all people should not be lecturing me about using diplomacy and talking things out. Especially not after you attacked the CCG Center literally earlier today."
"In my defense, I was just there to ask them a few questions. They were the ones who attacked first."
Touka didn't want to ask, she knew she shouldn't ask, but a strange morbid curiosity drove her to open her mouth anyway. "What questions?" she asked warily.
"Oh, just the normal ones. Favorite color, best coffee shops in the vicinity, how many CCG Centers I have to raid before the CCG offers an unconditional surrender... same old, same old."
Touka took a deep breath to calm herself down. It didn't work, but for the sake of her blood pressure, she pretended it did. "Whatever. Whatever. Moving on. Diplomacy and talking things out." She gestured at Kaneki. "You think I can talk things out with this guy?"
"Never give up, believe it!"
Touka stared at him. "What?"
"What?"
"Did you just say..."
"Hmm?" Kakashi looked confused. "I didn't say anything."
Touka shot him a skeptical look but dropped it. "Well, whatever the case, it's not going to work. Not with him."
Kakashi smiled. "We'll see." He knelt down to Kaneki. "So tell me. Why don't you want to eat that delicious, scrumptious piece of meat over there?"
Kaneki raised his head to look at Kakashi desolately. "It – it came from a human. A human who was just murdered. If I eat that..." a tear trickled down his cheek. "Will I really be human anymore?"
Kakashi was silent for a moment. "Tell me, Kaneki. Are you human because of what you eat?" he asked. "Is that really the metric you're going to use? Not your actions, not your thoughts, not your beliefs or morals or emotions, but rather your source of food? Does being a human really mean so little to you, that you could reduce it to what you put in your mouth?"
Kaneki went still.
"No," Kakashi shook his head. "No, that's not it. You know that's not it. Being a human is so much more than that."
"Then..." Kaneki's voice was small. "What does it mean to be human?"
Kakashi smiled. "Now that's for you to find out for yourself."
"So you don't know," Touka interjected flatly.
"I do know," Kakashi objected. "I just think it would be better for him to figure it out himself."
"Yeah, you definitely don't know."
"Such little faith."
"I can't," Kaneki suddenly said. Both Touka and Kakashi turned back to him. Kaneki was trembling as he stared at the corpse, one eye normal and one eye morphed into the red-and-black kakugan. "If I eat that, then I'll no longer be human."
"Huh? Are you stupid?" Touka asked. "Quit whining and just eat it already."
"No! I'm not like you damn monsters!"
Touka narrowed her eyes in anger, but paused when Kakashi chuckled in genuine amusement. "Silly Kaneki," he said, stepping forward. "I'll let you in on a secret. Even if you devoured that entire human from head to toe, you still wouldn't be considered a monster. Even Touka isn't a monster – more like a cute, adorable little bunny." He shook his head. "No, the title of monster is reserved for those who have committed the absolutely worst conceivable acts you could possibly imagine."
"So people like you?" Touka asked, raising an eyebrow.
Kakashi smiled. "People like me," he agreed, and for a second there was something in his eyes that sent her instincts screaming, but it was gone so fast Touka wasn't sure if she had imagined it.
"And so, eat, Kaneki," Kakashi finished.
"I won't," Kaneki shook his head wildly. "I won't. Never. I'm human. I'm human. I'm human."
Kakashi considered him for a moment. Then, he shrugged. "Well, I tried my best." He looked at Touka. "You can go back to doing what you were before."
Touka was already ripping off another chunk of flesh from the corpse. "See? Told you force and violence was the answer."
Kaneki widened his eyes. "W-wait, don't!"
That was around the time Yoshimura appeared, to Kaneki's immense relief.
Main timeline. Post-Arima fight.
There were a few things that Amon Koutarou truly feared.
He feared his father, Donato Porpora, the ghoul who had raised him with love and care while brutally killing and eating the other children in the orphanage. Oh, sure, Amon hated him, but he feared him as well, even after all this time.
He feared himself turning onto the path of evil. He feared being one of the men who started out as good men but then fell from grace and became rotten and corrupt. It was irrational, he knew, but he could never quite completely shake the doubts of him becoming something he would loathe in the future.
He feared being weak. Too weak to protect his comrades, too weak to save the innocents, too weak to stand against evil. He had been weak against Donato, and he had sworn to never be in such a state ever again. It was why he pushed himself so much, to the point where he was known as the second coming of Arima himself.
Above all, however, Amon Koutarou feared the ghoul Kakashi Hatake. He feared him for his unpredictable nature, he feared him for his chaotic personality, he feared him for the incredible power he wielded that could probably tear society asunder if he so wished. Admittedly, the fear was buried under tons of annoyance, anger, and frustration toward Kakashi, but it was still there.
Which was why Amon's heart had nearly stopped when he saw Kakashi bring his hands together in an odd cross-shape formation and create fucking clones of himself. Five of them in total, and seemingly capable of independent thought and action, judging by how they had dispersed to do their own things after they had formed.
Kakashi by himself was already an unstoppable force of nature that did whatever he wanted, whenever he wanted, and wherever he wanted, leaving behind a trail of frustrated tears and shattered views of reality.
Multiple Kakashi's, however?
Amon shivered.
It might very well just signify the end of the world itself.
"Holy fucking shit," Shinohara breathed in an extremely uncharacteristic usage of profanity. He stared at the ghoul – ghouls – in complete horror. "You can create sentient clones of yourself?"
"It's doomed," Amon muttered. "Oh god."
Mado, for his part, hadn't reacted at all when Kakashi had created the clones. He merely stared at Kakashi with a blank expression on his face, not giving anything away at all. Then he tilted his head, hummed, and nodded to himself.
"Alright, I'm retiring. You guys can deal with this. Let me know when the Owl Extermination Mission begins so I can resubmit my resume."
"Mado, no!" Shinohara grabbed Mado's shoulder as he turned to leave. "Don't give up! Not now!"
Oddly enough, Akira was looking at Kakashi with a strange glint in her eyes that Amon couldn't quite decipher. She seemed to be breathing a bit more heavily than usual as well, for some reason. Amon frowned before shrugging. She was probably also just afraid at the thought of more Kakashi's in the world.
Kakashi was staring at them with a slightly bemused expression. "I used shadow clones in my fight against Arima, I'm pretty sure," he pointed out.
"We thought that was just a special combat skill of your kagune or something! We didn't realize that they were sentient clones capable of thinking for themselves!" Amon snapped.
"Ah," Kakashi smiled. "Well, the more you know."
Main timeline. Pre-Arima fight.
"What's wrong, Touka?" Yoriko asked worriedly as they ate their lunches – beef stew for her and some bread for Touka. "You seem... mad."
Touka sighed. "Sorry I've been in a bad mood. There's just been this man bothering me lately."
Yoriko tensed up. "A man? From our school?"
Touka shook her head. "No. I know him due to... extenuating circumstances."
"How old is he?" Yoriko pressed.
Touka paused. "Not sure, actually. In his thirties, I think?"
"A-And how has he been bothering you?"
"He's always seeking me out," Touka groused. "Even after I made it plenty clear I hate his guts and want nothing to do with him. Hell, he even appeared in my room one time."
Yoriko paled and pulled out her phone.
"Huh?" Touka frowned. "What are you doing?"
"Dialing the police."
"What?" Comprehension flashed across Touka's eyes. "Oh. No. No! It's not like that!"
「」
Kakashi watched with a positively bemused expression as Yoriko marched up to him, a determined look on her face. Touka already had her head in her hands, not willing to watch the ensuing conversation.
"I'm onto you," Yoriko said as she glared at him, jabbing a finger into his chest. "I know what you really are. I'll be keeping an eye on you."
Kakashi raised his eyebrows. "What are you talking about?"
"You dirty pervert," Yoriko hissed. "Go after girls your own age, you sick freak."
Kakashi choked.
Main timeline. Epilogue.
"... and that's why you should really consider writing novels of the fine literature genre," Kakashi concluded. "I know you write primarily dark horror and psychological thrillers, but I believe your muse will benefit significantly if you expand the scope of your writing."
Eto was smiling in amusement as they strode down the TSC hallways. "I see. I'll consider it."
"Excellent," Kakashi said before someone caught his eyes. He raised his hand in greeting. "Hey Amon – "
"Not now," Amon snapped, not even slowing down as he walked past them in the hallway.
Kakashi watched on with mild intrigue, taking in his outfit. Instead of his usual dark suit, he was dressed in casual wear, a grey button down shirt and dark jeans, as if he was going out for something. It was so unlike him that Kakashi almost didn't recognize him at first.
"What's the special occasion?" Kakashi asked, he and Eto falling in step on either side of Amon.
"None of your business – " Amon cut himself off. "Hold on. If I tell you that, then you're just gonna follow me anyway, aren't you?"
"Absolutely," Kakashi smiled. "Might as well save yourself the trouble and tell us now."
Amon sighed. "Fine. I'm going on a date right now at a restaurant, and I would really appreciate it if you didn't ruin it for me."
"Okay."
"No, seriously, I'm really – " Amon paused. "Okay?"
"Okay," Kakashi nodded. "Good luck!"
"That's it?" Amon asked, a wary look entering his eyes. "You're not going to try anything?"
Kakashi chuckled. "Ghoul I might be, but I still have some principles."
"Huh," Amon looked pleasantly surprised. "I see, then. Thank you." He checked his watch. "I should hurry if I want to make the reservation." With that, he rushed off.
"Amon's going on a date, huh?" Kakashi mused as he watched the Investigator leave. "Wonder what his type is."
"A cute five-foot-three blonde with purple eyes and long hair," Eto answered without any hesitation.
Kakashi paused. "And... how do you know this?"
"Because that's the fake profile picture I used on the dating app," Eto said nonchalantly.
Kakashi blinked. "You catfished him?"
"Yup."
"Holy shit," Kakashi breathed. "You monster."
Eto preened. "Thank you."
"Why did you even do it?"
Eto hummed. "Mado and I have entered a proxy war of sorts. I'm using Amon to get to him."
Kakashi shook his head. "That's evil."
"No," Eto disagreed. "What's evil is this."
As if on cue, Akira rushed past them. She too was dressed as if she was going out. Instead of her typically professional suit, she wore a white blouse and black leggings. She glanced at them for a second before quickly averting her gaze, apparently operating on the age-old logic of if I can't see them, they can't see me.
Kakashi watched her leave, his face carefully blank. "So..." he said once she was gone. "Let me guess. Akira's going on a date as well? With a man that has a suspiciously similar physical appearance to Amon? With the same reservation at the same restaurant? By sheer coincidence, of course."
"Indeed," Eto said. "Though I don't know if you can even call me evil for doing that. I mean, by this point, I'm just playing matchmaker, aren't I?"
"No. No, you are definitely evil," Kakashi said pleasantly. "Shall we go after them to see their reactions?'
Eto smiled. "I thought you'd never ask."
Main timeline. Epilogue.
Thanks to GreatT'Phon for the idea!
"It has come to my attention that there are quite a lot of... questionable Investigators," Kakashi announced.
Shinohara hesitated. "Do you have an example of what you mean by questionable?"
"Goumasa Tokage."
Shinohara winced. "Ah. Him. Alright, that's fair."
"Tokage?" Amon frowned. "Wasn't he one of the instructors at the CCG Academy?"
Kakashi nodded. "He was also an ex-interrogator at Cochlea. Highly sadistic, hates ghouls, loves torture. Not a good combination considering how we're attempting to strive toward peace."
"I hated the guy," Suzuya muttered.
"See? Suzuya gets it. Anyhow, I was thinking that Investigators and agents like him should undergo some sort of sensitivity training," Kakashi said. "Fortunately, I happen to have some experience in this regard."
"You do?" Akira said incredulously.
Kakashi nodded. "My former bosses" – the Sandaime and Godaime – "had put me in multiple sensitivity training courses before."
"And you're still like this?" Amon muttered under his breath.
For example, after he had given Team 7 the Bell Test, Hiruzen had given him one such course to remind him that one should not forcibly stick their fingers up children's asses. Especially if said child was the jinchuuriki of the strongest Bijuu.
Fast forward two years and he had been tossed into sensitivity training again, in which Tsunade had reminded him that when Hiruzen had told him "don't shove your fingers up kids' asses for god's sake Kakashi", it had also implied that he shouldn't forcibly shove his fingers up adults' asses as well.
Honestly though, it was Tsunade's fault. He still didn't understand why she had sent the student of the Yellow Flash to a diplomatic conference held in Iwa.
She should've expected it, really. Besides, the ambassador's reaction had been objectively hilarious. Tsunade just didn't have a sense of humor – or perhaps it was because of the stacks of paperwork she'd had to fill out after his stunt.
"Fine," Shinohara said after a minute of consideration. "Go for it. We're tight on funds anyway, after the researchers spent a good chunk of money on constructing a gold statue of you."
Kakashi smiled. "Alright, I'll get started right away."
「」
"Kakashi, what the hell did you do to those poor men?!"
Kakashi blinked. "Sensitivity training," he answered.
"Sensitivity training?" Shinohara repeated incredulously. "Kakashi, you nearly gave them nervous breakdowns. They all reported hearing weird whispering noises, always seeing something lurking in the corner of their eye despite nobody else being in the room, finding ominous messages in the most unlikely of places, feeling a prickling sensation on their skin, doors opening and closing for no discernible reason, lights flickering randomly... Half of them already went to get an exorcism!"
Kakashi chuckled. "Sounds like something one of my students would do."
"You used the carrot and stick method, only without the carrot and a spiked mace instead of a stick!"
"Exactly," Kakashi nodded. "Standard operating procedure for sensitivity training."
Shinohara stared at him incredulously. "What sort of sensitivity training did you go through?"
"Well, one of my old bosses would beat me with his pipe. My other boss would toss massive boulders at me for target practice."
"... that honestly explains so much."
Kakashi smiled. "Besides, it worked, didn't it? Most of the Investigators and agents are more accepting of peace now. Last I checked, Tokage had gone to apologize to Yamori for what he had done. I'd say it's a unilateral success."
Main timeline. Epilogue.
Thanks to Jen for the idea!
"What," Kakashi said flatly.
Eto looked up from the book she was reading. "Hmm?"
"What are you doing?"
Eto tilted her head innocently. "What are you talking about?"
Kakashi stared at the headband slanted over her left eye, the symbol of Aogiri Tree engraved on it. Then he shifted his gaze to stare at the dark mask covering her face. Finally, he looked down at the book she was reading – specifically, a yaoi manga that he recognized to be notoriously explicit.
"I'm sure you have an idea," he said.
Eto frowned. "I don't know what you're talking about."
Kakashi's gaze was decidedly unimpressed. "Oh, really?"
"Really."
"You're not copying someone right now?"
Eto blinked at him. "Nope."
"I... see."
There was some cosmic irony in here, Kakashi reflected, in how Eto was copying the Copy Ninja. Even though it felt wrong, he supposed he had to respect it –
Then Eto fucking eye-smiled at him. "I'm glad you understand!"
Kakashi twitched.
Alternate timeline.
A lot of you seemed to want this so here it is lmao
Kakashi blinked as he stared at something far off in the distance in the sky. Huh. He genuinely hadn't expected this at all.
"Are those fighter jets?" Touka whispered in fear.
"I believe so," Yoshimura said, his eyes slightly wide.
They were currently standing in front of Anteiku. The entire 20th Ward had been evacuated for the Owl-and-Kakashi Extermination Mission. After Arima had lost to Kakashi, the CCG had apparently decided to bring out the big guns. And when Kakashi said "big guns", he meant a full on carpet bombing, by the looks of it. The CCG had also somehow discovered the location of the Owl – Yoshimura – which was why they were bombing Anteiku as well.
Kakashi and the others had expected a normal CCG assault of Investigators and agents, which was why they had remained in the cafe waiting for the attack even as the civilians evacuated around them.
None of them had expected the CCG to literally call in an honest-to-god air strike on their location.
"We can't run," Touka said, her tone panicked. "Oh god. We're so screwed." She whirled to Kakashi. "This is all your fault," she hissed. "Fix it."
"Now, now," Kakashi responded lightly. "I'd say that half the blame goes to Yoshimura as well. It's the 'Owl-and-Kakashi Extermination Mission,' after all."
"I don't fucking care!" Her expression turned desperate. "Please. Anteiku is my home. Our home." Irimi, Enji, Yoshimura, and Yomo all had solemn looks on their faces. "Kakashi, please."
"Well, when you put it that way..." Kakashi eye-smiled. "I suppose I have no choice." He turned back to gaze at the fighter jets. They hadn't attacked yet, probably waiting for confirmation on the order – oh never mind, here they came.
Kakashi calmly watched them approach, his stance relaxed. The only move he made was to lift up his headband.
Then, his eyes turned red-and-black. Not the kakugan of a ghoul, but something else altogether.
Almost like spinning kaleidoscopes.
「」
Amon smiled as the sound of celebrations sounded around the CCG Center. It was about to be over. Kakashi would finally be exterminated today. Not even he could escape the blast radius of a high yield carpet bombing.
"I can't believe the Washuu clan was able to convince the government to green-light this," Shinohara muttered as they all stared at the massive live video of the mission being projected onto the wall as well as multiple mounted televisions. The fighter jets were quickly approaching, and video feeds from drones and surrounding security cameras showed Kakashi and the other ghouls not moving from their spots at all. It looked like they had accepted their fates.
"They gave up," Mado said before sighing in disappointment. "What a waste. I wanted to make a Quinque out of Kakashi..."
A loud cheer went up from the CCG agents, technicians, and scientists as the bombs were released from the jets, falling through the air. They were already uncorking the champagne and bringing out the firecrackers when –
Amon's eyes widened in absolute shock as he watched a gigantic humanoid being of blue light form into existence on the screen, so tall that it towered over some of the nearby skyscrapers. The room went completely silent.
Mado blinked. "What the fuck?!"
Amon stared in disbelief as the high-power camera zoomed in to reveal Kakashi suspended within the... the thing.
Then, the behemoth tossed out several enormous shurikens which struck the bombs moments before they hit the ground – and the bombs fucking disappeared, twisting into vortexes of nothingness. The fighter jets were quick to attack, unleashing a hail of bullets and missiles which struck the behemoth with unerring accuracy, sending a cloud of smoke billowing out. When it cleared, it revealed that the avatar had taken approximately no damage whatsoever.
"SHIT SHIT SHIT!"
"WHERE THE FUCK DID THE BOMBS GO?! DID HE JUST DESTROY MATTER? LAW OF CONSERVATION OF MASS, HELLO?!"
"NOBODY TOLD US HE HAD ACCESS TO A – A GIGANTIC WINGED BEING OF LIGHT!"
"Well..." Shinohara said as mayhem broke out in the CCG Center, the sound of shattering glass and uncontrollable sobbing filling the air. "That... didn't go well. This might just be the worst-case scenario."
"THERE'S NO WAY A GHOUL COULD DO SOMETHING LIKE THIS. THERE'S NO FUCKING WAY!"
"HE'S A GOD, HE HAS TO BE! THERE'S NO OTHER EXPLANATION!"
"HEAR HEAR! HE'S THE MESSIAH HIMSELF!"
"ALL PRAISE LORD KAKASHI!"
Shinohara closed his eyes tiredly as the agents, researchers, and technicians began fervently chanting Kakashi's name and praying for forgiveness.
"I stand corrected," he said, his voice filled with suffering. "Now we're in the worst-case scenario."
There really was only one thing Amon could say to that.
"Fuck."