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It’s the night before their last day on Greed Island, and Killua is wide awake.
Bisky had spared him from the task of holding the boulder above his head due to his mangled hands, so he just sits, back against the cliffside, fingers flexing every so often in the cool air. Gon sleeps curled a few feet away from him, rope in hand and face turned towards Killua.
He smiles, turning his gaze to the night sky; the rich darkness of it, studded with little points of light. Everything is different, but he can’t help but be reminded of that night on Whale Island, the promise they’d made to each other there. This is it, then. Tomorrow, Gon might find Ging, and Killua…
“Killua?”
Thoughts interrupted, Killua’s gaze jerks from the sky to Gon, on the ground beside him.
Gon’s mouth curves into a sympathetic smile. “Can’t sleep, huh?”
“Mm. Just a little nervous, I guess.”
Quiet permeates the air for a moment as Gon carefully, deliberately lowers his boulder to the ground before scooting closer to Killua. He has a weird look on his face, Killua notes as he watches him idly.
“Actually, Killua, I’ve been thinking, and—”
“Don’t strain yourself.” The response comes automatically.
“Hey!” Gon pouts and sticks his tongue out at Killua. Killua laughs.
“Anyway,” he continues, “I was thinking, and I wanted to talk to you about tomorrow.”
“Okayyy.” Killua drags the word out skeptically.
There’s something fiercely focused in Gon’s amber eyes, resolute and confident, burning. It’s what had dragged him into Gon’s orbit before the gravity of everything else about him had cemented Killua’s place beside him. It is the object of Killua’s envy and desire, reaching a hand out to punch a hole in the sky, just to touch the sun.
“What about tomorrow?”
Gon gestures at Bisky, sleeping across from them, and then at the cliff top above their heads. “Let’s go somewhere else first. Don’t wanna wake her.”
Killua opens his mouth, but Gon beats him to the punch, face falling as his eyes land on Killua’s bandaged hands.
“Oh… That’s a problem,” Gon murmurs.
“Sorry,” Killua says.
“What? No, it was my fault, anyway,” Gon rebukes distractedly, brow furrowed in confusion. “Oh, I know!” He snaps his fingers, grinning, and stands up. “I’ll just carry you up there.”
“What! Bu—”
Gon shushes him, rather loudly, Killua thinks drily, tilting his head in Bisky’s direction. “Don’t worry, I can get us up there easy,” he says, turning around and motioning for Killua to get on his back.
“Ugh. Whatever,” Killua mutters, standing, face burning as he wraps his arms around his friend’s neck.
This is too embarrassing, Killua thinks as Gon scales the rock wall. He climbs swiftly and surely, and soon they near the top of the cliff, but he can’t help but wonder how much more quickly Gon could have done it without Killua hanging off his back, weighing him down.
Once at the top, Gon deposits Killua gently onto the ground before scooting over to sit beside him, legs dangling over the edge of the cliff, swinging.
Killua ducks his head, peering at Gon curiously. That weird mix of anxiety and excitement dances across his face as he stares out at the horizon, but it’s more quiet than usual. Instead of bursting from his seams, the energy seems to hum low beneath his skin, subdued. He looks almost pensive, Killua notes with quiet surprise.
“So… What did you want to talk about?”
Instead of turning to face Killua, Gon flops onto his back, wide eyes focused on the stars above him. Killua follows him with his eyes, waiting.
“Doesn’t it kinda remind you of that one night, on Whale Island?” Gon finally says, arms folded under his head, leaving Killua’s question unanswered. “I mean, with you, and the stars, and…” He trails off. “It reminds me, anyway.”
Killua stays quiet, breath caught. It’s not so rare that Gon is like this, earnest and plainly genuine; so completely the opposite of shallow. In the darkness, though, in the starlight, Killua finds he often loses what little defense he’d ever managed to maintain against Gon’s blinding, all-enveloping truth. Like he might do something stupid and dangerous.
If Gon is the predator that stalks him while he sleeps, then Killua’s inhibition is the boulder he suspends above his head.
“Yeah,” he breathes, lowering himself onto his back to join Gon on the ground. “Me too.”
Gon’s eyes finally flick over to flash him a quick smile before looking up again. Killua doesn’t move.
“Well, I was thinking about what’s gonna happen tomorrow, after we win.”
Killua can’t contain a snicker at that.
Gon turns back toward him for a moment. “What? You know we’re going to.”
Killua just huffs and smiles.
“Jeez, you keep interrupting me. Anyway, what I’m trying to say is, once we beat the game tomorrow, I think there’s a pretty good chance we’ll find Ging.”
At that, Killua sobers, and Gon’s expression turns a little more somber. Killua is glad that Gon won’t look him in the eye, is staring up at the stars instead, because he’s not sure he’d be able to take it if he weren’t.
“I just keep thinking about what we said. About how we would stay together until I found Ging, and you would look for what you want in the meantime.”
Gon looks down, his frown deepening.
“I guess what I need to ask you is, have you found what it is you want, Killua?”
Yes.
“No. Not really,” Killua says instead.
“Then…” The valleys carved into Gon’s forehead are so deep that Killua feels a hint of concern rise within him. He clearly struggles for a moment, squeezing his eyes shut before opening them and turning onto his side to face Killua all at once, grinning widely. Killua can do nothing but accept the full force of the blow.
“Then stay with me, even after we find Ging!”
The words hang in the air, and Killua can only stare. The silence drags on, for a beat too long, it seems, as Gon’s smile begins to dim. He looks away.
“I mean, only if you want to! I just thought, since, we have so much fun together, and we make such a good team, and I trust you more than anyone else, that maybe… But if you don’t feel the same, I get it.” He shoots Killua an obviously forced smile.
“No, Gon, I mean…” Killua takes a breath, holds it, lets it come crashing down like a rock. “You want me to stay with you?”
Gon’s eyes widen almost comically and something sharp twinges in Killua’s chest.
“Wh—Of course I do! Killua!” Gon props himself up on his elbow to look down at Killua, a distressed expression on his face. He sounds almost chastising and it makes Killua want to smile a little.
“You’re my best friend in the whole world! I love being together with you.” Gon pauses for a second and that thing returns to his eyes, the burning resolution, the want.
“You know, I meant what I said, back when we were fighting Razor.”
Killua’s not sure he’s physically capable of hearing this a second time.
“It has to be you, Killua. It can’t be anyone but you.”
The words are claws that bury themselves in his chest and rip him fully apart. If Gon is the predator, then surely Killua is dead. Gon always gets what he wants.
Killua has to look away, anywhere but the boy in front of him. The stars are a cool relief from the solar flare that is Gon, but the afterimage lingers, printed on the night sky.
“I… I guess I’ll stay with you, Gon.” The words flow light and cool from his chest.
“Haha, no need to be so enthusiastic about it,” Gon teases.
Killua turns onto his side and just looks. He doesn’t bother to school his features into nonchalance. Gon has already scorched whatever remaining shield he’d managed to maintain against him to ash. So he just looks, and something in Gon’s eyes lights up in wonder, and he smiles.
“C’mon, we should get some sleep.” Gon stands and offers a hand to Killua, who takes it, and pulls him to his feet. Gon walks to the edge of the cliff and looks back.
“I’ll carry you again, obviously. So hop on.”
“Okay.”
If that’s really what you want, then of course.