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“Saeyoung, I think I’m ill.”
“You’re really pale all the time. I believe it. What’s up?”
Saeran swallows and furrows his eyebrows slightly, staring down at his sneakers. His hands are in his pockets and he’s slightly hunched over. The weather is still chilly, not quite yet the middle of spring, but when his brother suggested going out for ice cream, he couldn’t bring himself to decline. He loves ice cream, no matter the time of year. Perhaps... he was also persuaded by the promise of a certain girl joining them.
Through his bangs, he glances up at his brother. They were twins, yet Saeyoung was somehow a couple of centimetres taller than him. The world was a cold, bitter, and unfair place. To save himself from the pain that is remembering his inferior height, he looks away again. In the distance, he spots the girl in question trotting slowly to meet them by the facade of the ice cream parlour.
Her name escapes from his mouth and he frowns deeply. Without taking his eyes off her, he says, “I must be allergic to her.”
Meanwhile, his brother blinks, a soda cup in his hand. He stares at him like he’s crazy, because he is. Of course, that is to say, crazy in an adorable younger-brother-even-though-he’s-my-twin kind of way. Saeyoung swallows. “Okay… why?”
He scowls, nearly gritting his teeth, as if his brother just insulted him. He quickly turns his head to face him. “Because every time I’m around her, my face gets hot and I have issues breathing.” He quirks an eyebrow up innocently. “What do you know about allergies?”
“Dude,” Saeyoung starts, “you totally have a crush on her.” He smirks befittingly when the girl finally reaches them.
She calls, “Hi!”
Like he’s frozen in time, Saeran can’t bear to look behind himself, this being his thought process: what if he stares at her by accident? What if she looks back at him? What if she notices all his imperfections? No, not today, that couldn’t be - he brushed his teeth three times before he left his and Saeyoung’s apartment.
Somehow, he gathers the courage to turn around and greet her. He clears his throat and starts feeling the aforementioned symptoms.
It’s not helpful when she smiles at Saeyoung: “What’s this about a crush?”
Luckily, Saeyoung decides not to be a dick for once in his life, and simply shrugs. Saeran sweeps a hand through his hair, which has been billowing in the wind for the past few minutes. “Let’s go inside.”
He turns too quickly to notice the girl widen her eyes, mouth slightly agape at this action. She blinks and snaps out of it, but not fast enough for Saeyoung not to notice it. As they all enter the parlour, he thinks he’s right in calling himself a God - when everyone around him was a dumbass.
&
On their way back, as it was time for the three of them to separate into two groups, his brother and the girl were in deep discussion about romance. Saeyoung is twirling around, making different types of hearts with his hands. Having such an overactive imagination was definitely his vice, Saeran thinks, alongside his general absurdity. He tried to be understanding, though, he was sure that some people also found his behaviour strange sometimes, too. But people around him were definitely weirder.
Most definitely, he thinks, watching at how the girl’s face lights up at Saeyoung’s rather unfunny mannerisms. They were ill-suited at best. In public? There were dozens, no, hundreds of people around.
Or… if she liked the way his brother acted… should he try to be more like him? He raises an eyebrow to himself, watching a car race past them. He keeps his hands in the pockets of his jeans, looking down once again at his shoes as he takes slow steps forward.
It’s only when his allergen says his name that he looks up. “While on the subject, I’m still curious about what you were talking about when I got here. I wanna know who I can play matchmaker with!” She nods at Saeyoung, a callback to the conversation they just had.
“Yes! You and me, Fairy Matchmaker, God Seven… esquire.” Saeyoung closes his eyes, tilting his head up in pride.
She giggles. Saeran blushes when he realises he’s been staring at her for too long. What was that, three seconds? Three seconds too long to look at someone. Awful.
“Esquire? You’re a lawyer now, too?”
Opening one eye to stare down at her, he croons a confident affirmation. “Yup, a divorce one.”
The wind picks up. She tucks a flowing strand of hair behind her ear as she turns back again to face Saeran. He thinks she should watch where she’s going, lest she bump into some dirty stranger going the opposite way.
She looks at him, and his face gets even redder.
“What?” he finally croaks out.
She smiles wide. “Tell me!”
Saeran huffs, his bangs shifting at the action. His eyebrows furrow and he glances to his right, not moving his head. Saeyoung cackles. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he murmurs.
The other boy quickly changes the subject, calling the girl’s name in seemingly deep thought. He hums, “Say, who do you think is mostly likely to date each other in the RFA?”
She squints as if this made her think. What a stupid question. Who was Saeyoung to waste her time like that? “Um… I don’t know. Nobody’s really compatible, are they?” She tuts. “Then again, I don’t know much about star signs…”
Saeran continues scowling. What a pointless conversation. Star signs were made up by random people looking for meaning in nothing. He wants to say that, but it would be hypocritical, considering he believes in flower language. But the language of flowers was more of a societal value, right? It would be rude for him to give someone he liked an aconite, for example - even if it was pretty, it meant hatred. Yes, this was his prerogative. People should be cautious in which flowers they give each other. The language of flowers had a purpose. Star signs, though?
He hears his name and blinks.
“According to this random website, Saeran and you would be compatible if you’re a Libra, Aquarius, or Aries,” says his brother. How humiliating. His cheeks turn red. He’s glad he can blame it on the wind.
“Duly noted...” the girl looks similarly uncomfortable, what with Saeyoung’s completely inappropriate statement. Her head is turned to the store fronts on her left. Saeran doesn’t know if she’s watching her reflection in the windows or merely focusing on the shops.
Her reflection makes his stomach feel funny. There it goes again. The allergy.
“I mean,” Saeyoung starts again, and Saeran looks at him speaking. His hands are clasped together, held to his chest. “There’s really no other option, is there? And seeing my baby brother in a relationship with none other than you… it would be so adorable!”
All his brother did was humiliate him. He stares in front of him and picks up his pace, a hasty escape from an awful situation. Meanwhile, the girl and Saeyoung come to a stop before they have to seperate: her turning left and him walking forwards.
“He’s so strange!” Saeyoung calls. The girl doesn’t agree, just looks at the figure getting further and further from them.
She frowns, not just out of confusion, but disappointment, too. “Why did he run away?”
“He does that a lot, doesn’t he?” Saeyoung ponders.
&
It’s a week later and Saeran is waiting outside the ice cream parlour again. This time, he is alone. His brother texted him that he was busy meeting with his boss, which was weird, because usually they usually just talked over the phone. Saeran was never allowed to be in the same room, which was stupid. He paid rent just like Saeyoung did. He was allowed to go wherever the hell he pleased.
He stops himself from getting angry - after all, the girl was going to join them again. Last time he was a bit too emo, according to Saeyoung. And - as inexperienced as he was - his brother had watched plenty of romance dramas, so he figured he should listen to him.
A crush would probably better explain his symptoms than an allergy.
Even though there’s no one but strangers around, his cheeks turn red at the thought. He has a crush, as if he’s in middle school.
He notices a scuff on his Converse, but forgets about it when he hears a familiar voice: one that shoots chills up his spine, forcing him to fix his posture.
She looks very cute. The weather has magically gotten warmer (like weather does as the year progresses), so Saeran shouldn’t be surprised that she is wearing shorts. Still, he tries not to look at her legs.
...Is it strange he’s wearing jeans? He’s never thought much about what he wore before. Whatever worked together worked together.
Weirdly enough, she keeps her head slightly bowed.
He clears his throat and replies. “Hello.”
It’s a scene all too familiar - he’s always been a bit awkward at greetings, but they’ve met up so many times, shouldn’t it be normal by now? This bizarre feeling bubbling inside his chest isn’t helping, either.
She fixes her hair behind her ear, a bright smile upon her face. It’s not cold, so why are her cheeks a little red? Maybe it’s makeup. Saeran doesn’t understand.
“Saeran, are you okay?” she asks, and he realises he’s been staring at her for too long. With a quizzical expression painted upon his face, he freezes. He doesn’t want to seem like he was judging her - no, he was just curious about her makeup.
He nods once, completely embarrassed. To change the mood, he scowls, looking around. “It’s weird that Saeyoung isn’t here, right?”
She laughs quickly, shaking her head. Saeran wonders what’s funny. As she moves past him, opening the door to the parlour, she says, “Actually, I think I prefer him not being here.” She’s quick and catches Saeran off guard. Still, he turns around and follows her all the way to the counter where they order their usual.
It’s hard to think of what to say when they sit down. Usually, his brother was a great buffer for awkward silences. Still, the girl doesn’t look too perturbed, so maybe it’s better if he keeps his mouth shut.
However, by his third spoonful, she gets restless. He notices how she hasn’t even started eating. Her hands are in her lap and she’s looking at him. Unsure of what to say, he simply raises an eyebrow.
“Sorry, am I staring?” she asks like she’s embarrassed, but her demeanour says otherwise - a small smile on her face. Saeran nods slowly. “Ha… I was just wondering if I can take a picture.”
Resting his chin on his palm, he remembers that she's a nice person, and she probably has decent intentions. He was never one for pictures, he never got into the habit as he was growing up. He understands why his brother loves them (though the cosplays are a bit much, even for him), that’s just his personality. Taking pictures of himself seemed moot - he wasn’t extremely attractive nor was his face particularly interesting.
He’s taking too long to answer. Picking a thread in the rip of his jeans, he finally croaks out, “Um… why?”
“To immortalise the moment,” she hums, crossing her arms on the table and leaning forward. She still has the same stupid smile on her face, causing his cheeks to redden. “Well, Yoosung asked for pics.”
“Of the ice cream?” Saeran questions, tilting his head to the side. He never understood Yoosung’s intentions, even if he was only a couple of years younger than him. It was like Saeran belonged to a different generation. Or maybe Yoosung was the weird one?
In front of him, she blushes too, bowing her head down to avoid eye contact. She giggles. “I don’t think so. But… I promise I won’t share it with anyone apart from him.”
Saeran has to think about it for a moment. There was no harm in a picture. Then again, nobody had ever asked him...
“Please?”
“Fine,” he decides, pressing his palms flat against the top of his thighs under the table. “How should I pose?”
“I don’t know… maybe… smile?”
He sighs but grins anyway, though stops immediately after hearing the shutter click. Quickly, she types something on her phone, probably to Yoosung. Now he’s really wondering…
“Why did Yoosung want a photo of me?” He’s not worried about his ice cream melting as he leans back to sit with his back pressed against his seat.
She clears her throat. “Oh, uh… I guess he’s just curious about how it works.”
Ice cream parlours were not that hard to figure out. Saeran furrows his brows in confusion. “It?”
“Oh… a first date.”
Saeran freezes in place. Without a sound, without any hesitation, he sets his spoon down, slides his chair backwards, and leaves the store.
She’s too shocked to feel bad.
&
“Listen, you know I love you, but you’re being pathetic right now.” Saeyoung disliked using such harsh words with his brother, but it was time for him to man up. He considered playing Mulan’s OST but decided against it - this seemed like a sensitive situation. “Shouldn’t you be happy?”
Saeran slumps in the office chair he’s sitting in. From his brother’s posture alone, Saeyoung begins to think his brother’s depressed.
Under his breath, Saeran mumbles, “Leave me alone. I need to think.”
The other hums and places his weight on the edge of his desk, leaning over to peek at the computer in front of him. A blank search engine.
“No, you need to do something,” he insists, leaning forward. “You gotta take action…” he pauses for dramatic effect, motioning with his hands. “You have to woo her.”
“Woo her?” Saeran mimics, raising an eyebrow. Aha! He finally looked at Saeyoung, which means he piqued his interest, thereby, he’d be out of this slump in no time!
Saeyoung nods once. “Yes, and your first destination… WikiHow.”
&
His brother was a genius - WikiHow was an amazing website, full of useful tips. Saeran was sure it would come in useful in other situations, too. How to Grow a Garden Fit for Wild Birds. How to Make Dyed Hair Look Natural. Bookmarked.
For now, though, How to Woo a Girl (with Pictures) would have to do.
The first step was to break the ice. The weird part was, he’s already broken the ice, they have been friends (or at the very least, acquaintances) since she joined the group. Saeran already knew her name, what she looked like (pretty), how she treated him (amicably), and what ice cream flavour she liked (strawberry). Yes, it would be safe to say he was past this step.
It felt strange. He hadn’t taken notes since high school, and even then, it was rare. Rolling his eyes with a short sigh, slouched over his desk, Saeran scribbles down the second step.
Make her laugh. That would be hard. Admittedly, he was an oblivious guy, but he was self-aware enough to realise that he was not the funny twin. He understood that Saeyoung and he had much in common but unfortunately a sense of humour was not a trait they shared. Or perhaps he should be grateful for that. For a moment, he considered looking up jokes on the internet, but there was always the chance that she’d have heard them before. After all, she was well-versed enough in online happenings.
Then he’d just have to get advice from the next best thing. The RFA Chatroom.
As deeply as he despised the idea, there was no other feasible choice.
&
In the back of a limousine far too ostentatious for his liking, Saeran pulls on his tie. He can’t help but feel uncomfortable in the suit that Jumin had rented him. Sure, he’s worn suits before, but never ones of such high calibre.
It’s also he simply doesn’t seem to fit him. His hair was still frizzy after combing it, his dark circles apparent even in the late evening. Still, WikiHow couldn’t have been wrong. It was imperative for him to dress the part.
After having asked for joke recommendations, the older man had called him for more details. Saeran was a bit confused as to why he was so interested in his wooing plans, if not a bit defensive. Jumin had no reason to even help him. When asked, he explained something about needing to keep the party planner happy if the RFA wanted to hold any more in the future. Though he was thankful, the idea of a dud date disturbed Saeran. Would he be the reason for the demise of the RFA if he failed to woo her properly?
Saeran gulps, setting his phone down next to him. The car has stopped and all that’s left to do is to get out and greet her.
She stands in front of the revolving glass doors to her apartment, holding her purse tightly in her hands. Saeran thinks, good, she knows never to let her guard down. In a city this big, pickpockets are everywhere.
He takes a deep breath as she glides over to him, a bright smile on her face. This had to be a good sign. WikiHow did not mention anything about it, but he wasn’t that dumb.
“Saeran, hi,” she breathes, tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear. “I feel like I’m going to the prom. This is all so fancy.”
In response, Saeran shakes his head. “This is… nothing.”
She glances at him, and then at the limo. Saeran widens his eyes and rushes to open the door like a gentleman. Like someone who knows what he’s doing. He follows behind her and nods to Driver Kim to start the journey to the restaurant.
In another uncomfortable bout of silence, Saeran clears his throat and begins reciting off the top of his head, “Uh, what do you call a bear without any teeth?”
She’s so close to him that their shoulders are nearly touching – she replies, again with a smile, “I don’t know, what?”
“…A gummy bear.”
Thankfully, she gets the joke and giggles, though there’s no way to tell whether or not she is simply being polite. She says, “Nice one. I like it.” And she scoots just an inch closer.
Then silence falls upon them again. Saeran might throw up – he’s so concerned with looking out of the window that he forgets the rest of the jokes he had remembered.
“Have you been to Chez Hui before?” she asks, looking up at him. Saeran lifts his brows, unsure of how he should reply. WikiHow truly betrayed him.
He swallows. “Yeah, sure.”
The girl nods, a soft smile on her face. “I hope they serve ice cream there.” Her hands on her lap, she looks away from him. “Though it might be a bit messy, and you wouldn’t want your rental dirtied, right?”
Saeran furrows his eyebrows, confused by the accusation. “My rental?”
She turns back to him, a playful look upon her face. “I’m not saying you’re not capable of owning a nice suit. It’s just… this doesn’t feel like you.”
He frowns. “It doesn’t?”
She sighs. Saeran feels a foreign object laying on his knee – her hand. She’s touching him. She’s facing him, and touching him, and it’s almost all too much. “I appreciate the effort, I really do, but this has Jumin written all over it.”
“I - is that a bad thing?”
She shakes her head slowly, all-knowingly. “Not necessarily, but if I wanted to date him I would’ve pretended to enjoy capitalism and wine and… whatever.” She finishes the sentence with a roll of her eyes, smoothly wrapping her arm around Saeran’s. She pauses for a second. He’s frozen. “You smell nice.”
“It’s vanilla deodorant.” Smelling nice was an important step.
She laughs wryly as the limousine slows to a stop. She doesn’t move. Neither does he.
“Saeran, let’s go get ice cream.”
“What?”
Something like an urgent whine escapes her mouth. “Come on, let’s ditch Chez Hui and get ice cream and talk about what in the world caused you to think I needed to… to be courted like this.”
Saeran scowls, ashamed, a blush creeping onto his cheeks. “Do you think I’m pathetic?”
“What?” she laughs. “Of course not. I really like you.”
She caresses his face, turning it towards her own. She looks almost hesitant. In one instant, however, she brings their lips together. Saeran closes his eyes, melts into it. Before he has a chance to react further, she pulls away, leaving him speechless once more.
“Hey, if you really want to dine here, I’ll join you. If that’s really what you want.”
Saeran looks in front of him at nothing in particular. Against all the advice he’d received, he shakes his head.
“What I want is to punch Saeyoung in the face,” he turns back to her. “But ice cream sounds like a good alternative.”