Work Text:
Alec looks beautiful in black and gold. Though Jace thinks he would look beautiful in everything. He grips Alec by the lapel of his wedding suit, drawing him a little closer. He feels Alec's nervousness through their bond. He sees it in his eyes. He pulls him yet a little closer.
He lets his hand run over the lapel, smoothing a crinkle that isn't even there. He licks his lips. He knows he has to ask. To make sure.
"Are you okay?"
Alec’s eyes light up at the question and the nervousness is replaced by security. The warmth that shows in his eyes makes Jace nearly flinch. But he doesn't. He stands unmoving in front of Alec, his hands on the lapel, letting himself get burned by Alec’s warmth.
“Are you?”
Jace suppresses the huff. How can he be? How can he be when he still feels Alec’s taste on his lips? How can he be when he still knows how Alec’s lips move against his own? How can he be when he will soon hear Alec vow to love another man? Forever.
Forever. That’s what it felt like to kiss Alec. Jace knows Alec is his forever, even though he’s not Alec’s. He didn’t care about the darkness that surrounded them while getting lost in this one kiss. A darkness that threatened to consume them, swallow them whole and spit them out into the world to destroy everything that’s there. But Jace didn’t care. He didn’t care then and he wouldn’t care now. He would let the world burn alongside them if it meant to have Alec just one more time. He would see the world turn into ashes if it meant to taste Alec one last time. He himself would burn to be with Alec.
And that’s why he doesn’t huff but smile. One last time he lets his hands wander down the lapel, adjusting it, before he pushes Alec away a little. He pushes him into the light. Into the light that Magnus promises. A light that doesn’t burn but heal.
He pushes Alec away. Away from the darkness. Away from him and the Parabatai curse. He lets go of Alec, just as he let go of him before. He knows it’s the right thing to do. But it hurts. It hurts to step back into his own darkness; the only light coming from his burnt hands that touched Alec a second ago.
He nods, though he’s not okay. Now not more than he was the first time he let go of Alec. And he knows he will never be okay again. Not when he still knows how Alec feels in his arms. Not when his heart still feels like it’s ripped into pieces. Not when he is still ready to burn for Alec. For them. But he nods. Because he loves Alec more than he loves himself. Too much to watch him burn.