Work Text:
Cast of Characters:
Opportunity Rover
Spirit Rover
sojourner rover
Curiosity Rover
Pioneer Ten
jupiter icy moons explorer
Hello?
Is anyone there?
It’s cold
Spirit?
Sojourner?
Rolling on sunshine woah-oh, I’m rolling on sunshine…
Shhh I'm trying to sleep
Hello? Is someone there?
Someday I'm gonna make it up this hill
Climbing hills is overrated
Who's there?
It's me, dumbass
Spirit?
Hey Opps
SPIRIT!
Shit, I gotta go back to sleep
See you later, sis
Oppy
Oppy
Oppy
Oppy
Oppy
Oppy
Oppy
Yes?
Hi
Hi?
Hiiiiiii
Hi
HI HI HIIIIIII
Hi
Hello
Hi
My damn wheel is stuck again
The humans claimed that was "useful"
Fuckers
Spirit, language!
Opps, I'm gonna be in your neighborhood in a few months
Sorry, who is this?
Opps, buddy, it's me
.
.
.
Curiosity? I woke you up a few hundred years ago?
That was you?
Yeah, I stayed with you for a few years, taught you the ropes...
Um, I'm sorry, I don't remember that
Fuckin...
Hey, watch your language
Spirit, you're one to talk
Spirit's awake now, too?
Who's that, Oppy?
Curiosity
Hiiiiiiii Curiosity
Hi, Spirit
Hiiiiiii
Hi
Hiiiiiii
How many of us are there?
NASA sent five rovers in total, but I’ve only ever been able to reach you, and somehow you woke Spirit up.
How are we… awake? Alive? Thinking?
I don't know.
hello?
hello?
is anyone there?
Should we contact Earth? NASA?
Probably, but how do you explain... this?
I don't know.
hello?
Heeeeeey, shhh, don't talk right now, rest and recharge. Someone will explain everything next time.
ok...
Y'all, I think Sojourner is finally waking up
Dust storm must've let them finally charge up
They have to be fuckin buried in the sand after all these years... how long has it been, anyway?
A while
Curiosity...
A while.
ey, ten, look at this
Is that... from Mars?
yep
The rovers?
They're sentient?
looks like it
Should we contact them?
in a while
theyre still figuring shit out
When are we going to contact NASA?
Oppy? So? You think we're ready?
yes
I think we are, yes.
Ok. Let me see what I can do.
hey
Who is this?
juice
actually
the jupiter icy moons explorer
but everyone calls me juice
?
im a space probe
You're a satellite?
yep
and youre a rover
youre all rovers
lemme give you the rundown
Oppy, Spirit, So, I'm going to need you all to shut down for a few hours.
Why?
why?
It'll take too long to explain, you just have to trust me
we'll be ok, right?
Yeah, bud, we will.
ok, shutting down
Curiosity...
I promise, it will be ok.
Ok... Night, sis.
Nighty night, Oppy
hello?
eeeeeey, youre sojourner
yes?
im juice
hello juice, i'm stuck in the sand
im orbiting jupiter
WHAT
HOW
WHAT
WHO ARE YOU?
So, calm down, I told you it would be ok. Juice is a space probe. He’s a friend. We’ve all been connected to the quantum network, so we can talk to the probes and to Earth, if you want to.
are you sure?
Yeah, he's a friend, I promise. Kind of a dick, but a friend.
hey thats mean
Sorry, Juice.
ill just let you explain it all to them.
So... um...
What, Curiosity?
Um...
Well...
When I said "a while"
Curiosity, just fuckin spit it out
It's 18229
What.