Chapter Text
Loki
When Tony Stark had snapped his fingers, he probably had asked something along the lines of all the people killed by Thanos to be returned to their loved ones. Or everything destroyed by Thanos to be returned. Something approaching. That was why Loki found himself in the middle of New York, disoriented, as were everyone around him. Thor was, whether Loki liked it or not, the last member of his family. Thinking fast, Loki immediately put a glamour on, making him look like anybody but himself. The last time he was here, things weren’t actually going in his favour. Not that he had a choice in the matter. He did what he could considering the circumstances. Something that Odin didn’t even want to listen to. Something that Thor didn’t explain to the Midgardians.
The buildings were being reconstructed by the magic of the gauntlet but everybody had their eyes on Stark. He was giving back the green stone to the sorcerer. That man would need to be taught a lesson at some point. Falling for thirty minutes was a little too close to that time when Loki had let go, plunging from the Bifrost. So what if Strange didn’t know about that. That sorcerer was way too arrogant. But the vengeance would have to wait. Loki didn’t want anybody to know that he was alive again, especially not Thor. Not yet anyway. Too many things had happened. They weren’t the same anymore.
Loki wondered how his life would have been if Odin would have told him the truth from the start. If Odin wanted him on the throne of Jotunheim, maybe he shouldn’t have raised him in the hatred of his ancestors. The old man wasn’t very logical all things considered. Loki would have wanted to know everything about his birth realm. He would have studied the Jotuns, maybe understood them more. The colour of his skin, his form or even his magic wouldn’t have felt so wrong, so shameful. The Aesir were warriors not prone to seek peace with the other realms. They wanted to dominate. Loki on the throne of Jotunheim would have been an easy solution, maybe too easy. More important than anything, he would have known from the start that the throne of Asgard was never for him to sit on. His relationship with Thor would have been a lot different then.
Being a Jotun, knowingly or not, always meant not to be trusted. No wonder, he had been given the title of God of lies. Even if back then, he had never lied in his life. His mother, Frigga, was really strict on that and he wanted to please her more than anything. On the contrary, he tended to tell the harsh truth to people who didn’t want to believe in it. Some truths were hard to hear. Loki knew that first-hand now. He should have then understood how in high esteem his so-called father was holding him. How his brother was only defending him when it would help himself somehow. How his strong mother, all powerful she was, couldn’t say anything against Odin’s will. As if Loki had been set to fail whatever he would do from the very beginning.
Loki stayed on Earth for a while. Curiosity killed the cat, they said but he wanted to see what would happen in the aftermath. A country called Norway had accepted the refugees from Asgard on their land. They respected the history they had in common. Loki went there, not that he cared about the Aesir. That invisibility spell was very useful. Thor was finally being the king he should have always been. Loki knew his brother. He could see the signs. Thor was about to bail. Ironic, was it not. The blond god had been so sure of his capacities not so long ago, arrogant even, so eager to take the throne. He had it now. The reality was never as good as the idea, the dream of what it was to reign over a nation.
Loki also went into the compound. He remembered his initial fight against the Avengers. Captain America was not really a threat, until the man of Iron came into the picture with his loud music and jokes. Every U.N. personnel was talking about Tony Stark appearing when all hopes were lost and saving them all. Steve Rogers had made promises to the world that he couldn’t keep. Without the intervention of the man of Iron, Thanos would have won. Loki had thought during his own invasion that the Hulk was the one to be feared. The green monster beating him had been kind of proof of that. When he had been unable to use the sceptre with the mind stone inside on Stark, his opinions had changed.
Loki and Tony had a lot of things in common. Betrayals and death. Sarcasm and wit. In another timeline, they might have been friends. Loki visited the other man’s house on the planet’s moon. Calling that a house was maybe too restrictive. The god loved the technology. After all, magic was only undiscovered science. The smaller man had just managed to build his own Bifrost. An achievement few people could boast about even within the Aesir. Surely, they would have had a wonderful conversation comparing the science of the Midgardian to his magic. It wasn’t meant to be, like a lot of things in his life. No point in staying around anymore.
The Nine Realms would not be welcoming to him. Especially not the dwarves. They shared too much history even when it was not really his fault. Loki had always loved travelling for his studies or just for pleasure. Who knew what he could find in the vastness of the universe. His confrontation with the Midgardian sorcerer made it clear that he had been complacent with his powers. His mother always told him that magic needed to be studied very regularly, used with care, nurtured like the most precious and fragile of flowers. He had fallen into Thanos’ hands after falling for so long. No amount of explaining had swayed Odin in his decision. Everything was always Loki’s fault whatever the circumstances were. Torture and mind control weren’t good enough of an excuse. Loki had not hoped to be heard by his “father” and he knew that Frigga would do everything in her power to make his sentence bearable. Thor disappointed him.
Thor was the golden big brother. Blond when Loki had black hair. Odin’s favourite when Loki was Frigga’s. For a long time, it didn’t bother him the slightest. He loved his mother more than anybody in all the realms. She was the only one to understand him. He was a bit of a loner anyway. Fandral, Hogun and Volstagg were Thor’s friends and a little too on the warrior side. Sif had too much to prove to be his friend. As soon as he showed a talent for magic, the Aesir started looking at him like a lesser being. A man shouldn’t use these kinds of combat techniques. Magic should only be used for healing by women. Because rushing into battle without even the start of a plan was so much more efficient. Odin and then Thor were using magic to wield both Gungnir and Mjölnir. Hypocrites.
Thor could make you believe that you were the most important person in the world. If he needed you. He wasn’t even doing it in a mean way. His attention was all on you but it wouldn’t stay that way for a very long time. Especially if he had a goal that meant glory for him. Thor never meant to do his brother’s harm. The bad jokes were just that, jokes. Loki was always too sensible or too bad tempered. His big brother never realised how hurtful he could be just saying those words. Loki would have just wanted for him to take his defence just once instead of dismissing him like that. Thor’s heart was too easily swayed. He wanted too much to be loved by all.
The sun would shine on them again. That much was true. Loki had promised that. One day, when everything would truly be in the past, Loki would seek Thor and he would call him brother once more. Maybe they would both have grown enough to be an actual family. The universe was vast enough to live without stepping on each other's toes but not enough for them not to be together once more one day. Loki wasn’t too hurried though.
The god appreciated his newfound anonymity. Asgard had never been the centre of the universe contrary to what the Aesir thought. He met so many other species, different ways of life. It was humbling. He was not the prince anymore. Just a wanderer, wanting to learn any kind of magic he was coming upon. It felt like when he was younger and his mother had convinced Odin to let him go studying on Vanaheim. He had never felt happier than away from Asgard. Happy meant less god of lies, tricks and chaos and more openness, friendly behaviours and overall good-natured pranks and jokes. Happy meant connecting with people.
It took him a while to realise that Thor was on his tracks. His brother couldn’t be sure it was him but the description matched enough for him to follow. He was travelling with a group called Guardians of the Galaxy. He really didn’t stay King all that long. That little chase was most funny. Loki wasn’t actually changing his plan but Thor would always be too late to catch him. Loki was actually proud of the work his brother and his team were accomplishing. They had been helping a lot of people all along their journeys. Thor had always been a people person, easy to approach, easy to be friends with. Maybe this time, Loki could be friends with Thor’s allies.
Often, he hesitated. Maybe he should let Thor catch up. He was worried. Concerned that Thor would freak out. Loki didn’t fake his death this time. He didn’t even ask to be revived. His brother surely would have gone directly to Loki if the roles were reversed. Odin’s lies had driven the wedge between the two men a lot further than it already was. Thor was too much like his father. It made Loki uncomfortable and unable to trust him fully. Connecting with Thor reminded him constantly that they weren’t brothers, they weren’t even from the same race. Frigga would have been the link that was missing between them. But their mother wasn’t there anymore. Yet another bad memory they shared. On some level, Loki knew that he was hurting Thor.
Loki was slowing down his travels since he had found that particular planet. He would never confess that he was doing it on purpose. He couldn’t make things too easy for his brother. Even if he always ended up coming back to that place. Loki would fake the surprise even. Thor would take the lead and decide what their future would hold. He was tired not knowing how to stand with his brother. He just wanted for things to be clear so they could both move on with their lives. The planet Loki was on had little population. The nature was very luxurious. The inhabitants were all about the magic of the plants and flowers around them. It was very enlightening. They were quite powerful but also very quiet and respectful. Loki thought that if Thor was mad at him, he might want to use the thunder against him. He had done so in the past. But those people had the power to stop that magic burst from even happening.
The god still had a lot to learn. Or so the chief of the tribe was telling him. And he wanted to stay. It was so quiet and beautiful here. His mind was healing. Thor didn’t make him wait. They saw the ship coming down slowly. The tribe had no fear and it greatly helped Loki to contain his. Whoever was piloting the ship was looking for somewhere to land safely, nature so overgrown everywhere. Thor’s team would need to walk to them. Maybe an hour left. The chief put a hand on his shoulder as if to say that everything would be alright and then left. Loki this time would wait. No more tricks, no more lies. This was the first day of the rest of his life.