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Silence

Summary:

In which everyone but Bakugou himself can hear his suffering

Notes:

Warnings: Panic attack, self blame, death, angst, semi graphic descriptions of violence/fight/injuries, OOC Bakugou

Work Text:

It's been 7 days since it happened.

164 hours since a villain who went by the name of "Pain" was captured.

10 080 minutes since the young hero was rushed to the hospital and was sent to the emergency room.

604 800 seconds since he saw the most important person in his life be taken away from him.

-

Smoke littered the once clear blue sky, and the screams of hundreds - maybe even a thousand - people echoed throughout the city.

"PLEASE. SOMEONE, HELP ME! I CAN'T FEEL MY LEGS!"

A civilian who was trapped under rubble from the chaos.

"YOU CAN MAKE IT, DON'T DIE ON ME! HANG ON FOR JUST A FEW MINUTES MORE!"

A wife, kneeling over her husband, begging him not to leave her as his chest was impaled by an unknown substance.

“...MOMMY? DADDY? WAKE UP! THIS ISN'T FUNNY, I DON'T LIKE THIS GAME ANYMORE!”

2 limp bodies were being shaken by a 6-year-old child who had just witnessed what death was.

“[REDACTED]!”

And then there was silence.

-

Everything was blurry. No amount of squinting could help Bakugou see the world around him. All he saw was flashes of red and blue that seemed to fade as a multitude of unrecognizable blobs surrounded his figure.

Though he couldn't see clearly at the moment, he could definitely feel. He felt the soreness of his limbs, even though he made no attempt to move them. He felt the pounding of his head. He felt his shoulders being grabbed and shaken. He felt himself being lifted up from the crimson stained concrete, and he felt himself being placed on this cushion-like surface. He felt himself being carried off, and plastic being put on his place.

Then he felt nothing at all.

-

White.

He tried moving his hands to cover his face from the blinding light, but then noticed that one of his arms was in a cast. With one eyebrow raised, he tilted his head towards the left to see a window, then to his right, a woman in a white coat holding a clipboard, moving her lips?

The fuck is this dumbass doing? He narrowed his eyes at her, questioning why she was moving her lips instead of talking like a normal person. A minute passed, and he was tired of all of this.

“Why the hell are you just mouthing words?” He asked, or at least he thinks he asked.

I swear that I was just talking right now. Maybe I wasn’t loud enough.

He tried it again, using more air from his lungs, “OI! WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?”

The woman in front of him gave him a look of surprise as her eyes widened and her eyebrows raised. She nodded to herself as she turned the piece of paper that she had on her clipboard around and wrote something on it before handing it to him along with a pen.

“Hello, my name is Dr. Linh, and I’ll be your doctor. You’re currently at XXX hospital in Hosu. Can you write down your name, birthday and the date?”

Nodding his head and writing down his name, his birthday, and the day that he thought that it was before giving it back to her. Fishing out another pen from her many pockets, she wrote something down and gave the paper back to him.

“Well, it’s currently two days after, and I’m glad that you haven’t lost any important memories. So let’s go over your injuries. You have a couple of broken ribs, as well as a broken arm as you can clearly see, a fractured skull and tail bone, as well as strained calf muscles on both your legs. Do you have any questions for me?”

Why the fuck can’t I hear anything? Why can’t I hear the annoying brats outside screaming or the dumb little birds outside? Is it just me or does that clock look fucking stupid - (Y/N)...

He suddenly remembered the condition they were in when he last saw them. He quickly wrote, “(Y/N), are they okay? Where are they?” sloppily, not caring for his penmanship and looked up towards her for answers.

The female wrote down that they were alright and that they were just in another hospital room sleeping. Putting on a smile, she patted him on the shoulder briefly and helped him get up so that they could do a couple of tests on him. Unknowingly to him, the smile that Dr. Linh had on was one that she mastered after years of being in the medical field.

-

Waiting for his test results, he decided to look out of the window to pass time. He could see a park that was surrounded by beautiful trees. Children were running around and laughing - well, he assumed that they were laughing. With a breathy sigh, he stared at the trees and its flowers, fully blossomed, its fallen petals dancing throughout the clear sky. It was beautiful.

He began thinking of (Y/N), and how they were going to get married a couple weeks after their mission. He was thinking of how their eyes lit up when they saw him, how beautiful their hair looked in the sunlight, how he loved holding them in his arms, kissing their lips. Memories of he and his lover flowed through his head as he started zoning out with a smile appearing on his face.

The two heroes met in his second year of Yuuei. (Y/N) (L/N) was a transfer student from the general studies class along with the mind control quirk user, Shinsou Hitoshi. (Y/N) was bright and cheery, barely stepped out of line, and was always polite to others, even Mineta. Bakugou shuddered a bit after remembering the perverted creep. He didn't really think much of them until All Might paired the two of them together to spar, and that’s when he met his match. (Y/N) didn’t look like the type of person to be able to put up a fight against ‘the great Bakugou Katsuki’ by how they interacted with everyone, but oh boy could they put up a fight. The two of them put on a match that made everyone look at them in awe. It was as if the entire thing was rehearsed because the two were moving with such gracefulness even though the moves they used on each other looked as if they could kill someone if they tried to. From then on, they started sparring with each other even more and even training together after classes. Weeks passed, and they were basically attached by the hip. Where Bakugou was, (Y/N) was there, vice versa. Some would say that (Y/N) was even closer to him than Kirishima was, and that’s saying something.

 

The sports festival came by, and (Y/N) was paired to fight against Todoroki Shouto. Needless to say, Bakugou was still angry about Todoroki’s performance last year, and told (Y/N) to beat the shit out of him. With an out of character smug look, (Y/N) said that they would take up the challenge and proposed that if they one, that Bakugou should go out with them. Needless to say, both of their relationship status’ were now : taken.

Whilst they still in Yuuei, they got to know each other even better. They knew what each other’s favorite food was, how they fought, what irked the other, what made them blush, what their secrets and fears were- they were each other’s safe haven.

“Katsuki, let’s become the number one and two heroes in Japan together, alright?” (Y/N) said with a soft smile on their face while snuggling their face in Bakugou’s chest as they were laying down.

 

Bakugou looked down towards the (H/C)-ette and flicked their forehead before replying smugly, “Obviously, and you’ll be the number two hero and stand by my side, the number one hero.” (Y/N) groaned from the pain and held their pinky up, waiting for him to wrap his pinky around theirs.

“Seriously?”

“Yes seriously, now promise!”

“Whatever dumbass, I promise.”

Once they graduated, they decided to build a hero agency together and fought villains side by side. Bakugou and (Y/N) soon became the number two and four heroes, being bested by Deku and Shouto respectively. At the ceremony, Kirishima and (Y/N) were crouching on the floor, using each other for support as they laughed at the sight of Bakugou’s attempt at trying not to beat his rival up.

It’s been 7 years since they started dating and Bakugou decided that it was time to put a finger on his significant other’s hand once and for all. He had the Bakusquad meet up and help him prepare for his proposal. Jirou was invited as well as she offered to take photos of the evening for memories to look upon later on in life. The location was in a circular park that was surrounded by trees and benches. Fairy lights were strung across each tree, lighting up the place with a warm hue. A table was set in the middle with candles and plates. It was perfect.

Bakugou texted (Y/N) to come to the park when it was starting to get dark and told them that they were going to go on a date and to dress well. 10 minutes passed and he heard a sweet voice calling out to him. He looked over his shoulders and began smiling at the sight of his significant other who was smiling and running up to him. He then signalled to Mina with his hand who pressed a button on a radio. The two looked absolutely nervous.

“So uh” “(Y/N),” They both spoke at the same time, looked at each other and laughed. Bakugou ran his hand through his hair as he offered (Y/N) to speak first to which they agreed.

Suddenly, (Y/N) went down on one knee and pulled a box from behind their back. Bakugou’s jaw dropped, and you can hear Mina slapping Sero’s arm as she tried to contain her squeals of delight.

“You better close that mouth of yours before bugs fly in,” Bakugou rolled his eyes as (Y/N) continued, “Bakugou Katsuki, the top 2 hero, the love of my life, I love you so much. I remembered the first day that I transferred into your class, and you immediately caught my eyes. Though the Deku squad did warn me about you, you were the most interesting person to me. You’re known for always being angry, doing things to prove others wrong, a cocky bastard to most, but they don’t know you like I know you. You’re ambitious, intelligent, the hardest working person I know. You always kiss my bruises and coddle me whenever I’m hurt. You always make me warm meals whenever I’ve had a long day or when I’m stressed. You make me feel safe around you, and I’ll always long to be in your arms when I’m not. I don’t think that I could ever live a life without you by my side. So will you do the honors, Bakugou Katsuki, and marry me?”

 

“DON’T BE A PUSSY, BAKUGOU, I’LL STEAL THEM AWAY FROM YOU IF YOU DON’T MARRY THEM,” Denki shouted from afar causing everyone to laugh and Bakugou to scoff in annoyance.

Tears of joy were in everyone’s eyes as the blonde said, “yes,” and pulled his (fiance/fiancee) into a kiss. The entire night was them celebrating the newly engaged couple, laughing, having drinks and retelling stories of their missions. It was probably past midnight when the couple got back home and they started to -

“HOLY FUCK!” Bakugou yelled extremely loudly, unable to control his volume since he couldn’t tell how loud he was talking. He looked towards the direction that he was tapped in and saw Dr.Linh standing beside him. She handed him a piece of paper with his results on it, and mouthed something that caused his mood to drop.

“I’m sorry.”

Hastily, he read the paper in front of him.

Oh.

It was inevitable. Bakugou knew it, (Y/N) knew it, even “that damn Deku” knew it too. He knew that one day that he would be deaf due to how loud and often he had to use his explosions. He just... didn’t expect it to be so soon. Groaning he slid his hand from the top of his face to the bottom, he knew that he was going to have to learn to adapt to his new impairment and that it was going to be hard to readjust. Wanting some good news in his life, he wrote down a question that made the doctor tense up.

 

“What room is (Y/N) in, can I visit them?”

Not seeing her write back, he looked up to her with a brow raised. His heart dropped the second he saw her face. He held his breath as she began writing on the piece of paper.

“I’m truly sorry for your loss, your friend said that he was going to drop by to see you, I think his name was Kirishima. I’ll let you have some alone time and I’ll come back to check up on you in a bit, okay?”

Numb.

All he could do was stare at the words written on the paper and animatedly nod. With a sad look on her face, she walked out of the room, shaking her head slowly as if she was telling the universe that she was disappointed in them for taking away someone so loved so early.

There’s no way… they - no. No. They’re still here. They’re in this building, resting. That doctor’s shitty for fucking lying like that. Tch, what kind of doctor-

His thoughts were once again interrupted as a familiar redhead came running in.

“Bakugou!” Kirishima yelled out his name in relief with a grin on his face and a bag in his hand.

The said male felt sad that he couldn’t hear what his best friend - though he wouldn’t admit that he thought of Kirishima as his best friend - being annoying and loud anymore.

“I’m deaf, you dumbass,” were the words that wiped off the grin on Kirishima’s face.

Kirishima grimly grabbed a pen and started writing, “Oh, I’m sorry, Bakugou, but don’t worry! You have me and everyone else to help you if you need any help! Anyways, I heard what happened where you and (Y/N) were fighting from deku. I bet you looked so manly fighting side by side with them… but about (Y/N)... Deku tried to get to her as quickly as he could after defeating Pain! Unfortunately, he said that the bullet went through their lungs, and she couldn’t make it on time.” Kirishima looked towards Bakugou who was just staring at the piece of paper, not blinking even though his shoulder was shaken.

“Are you alright there?” Kirishima asked, not knowing that Bakugou was reliving that day.

-

Loud panting could be heard over the screams of pain and panic from the civilians as Bakugou and (Y/N) stood there, beaten and bloodied up with cuts littering their body. They were finally doing it. They were finally going to catch Pain, the villain whose goal was to do nothing but kill people just to spite heroes and to show how “useless” heroes were.

Pain was backed up against a wall of a building, cornered by the two heroes, having nowhere else to go. The two heroes gave each other a look and then nodded. Taking off to attack, Bakugou didn’t notice the smile that was on the villain’s face.

Why would a villain be smiling when they were on the losing side of the battle?

(Y/N)’s thoughts were cut off when they saw the villain take out a gun, and at that moment she turned towards Bakugou. Seeing the gun pointed directly at him, his mind went into panic mode as he tried making an even bigger explosion so that he could finish off the villain before he could do anything.

(Y/N) knew Bakugou like the back of their hand. They knew that he was trying to finish off the fight quickly, but they also knew that he wasn’t going to make it on time before the trigger was pulled. (Y/N) would do anything for Bakugou Katsuki, even give up their own life to save him, and everyone around them knew that.

“KATSUKI!” They yelled, their body filled with worry.

In a split second, they made their way towards Bakugou, pushing him out of the way. Unfortunately, from the height and speed that the two were going, when he reached the ground, his arm was broken and his skull was fractured from the impact.

BANG.

The blonde could only look at his lover fall to the ground as his conscience faded.

-

He started hyperventilating.

No. No, no, no, no no! NO! THEY CAN’T BE GONE. THEY WERE- THEY WERE - THIS IS ALL JUST A FUCKING JOKE, RIGHT? THIS IS ALL JUST A FUCKING CRUEL AND SHITTY JOKE.

His eyes were shut and screams filled with anger, sadness, pain, and agony echoed throughout the room.

FUCK I CAN’T BREATHE. THAT DAMN DEKU, IF HE WAS FAST ENOUGH THEN MAYBE THEY WOULD’VE BEEN ALIVE STILL.

Tears started running down his face, and Kirishima was looking around as he panicked, not knowing what to do. He started bolting out the door, screaming for somebody, anybody, to help his friend out.

No. It’s my fault. If only I was faster and stronger, this could have been avoided. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK! FUCK THIS. FUCK EVERYTHING. WHY WAS I THE ONE WHO ENDED (Y/N)? WHAT THE FUCK DID THEY DO TO DESERVE SUCH A SHITTY DEATH? IT SHOULD’VE BEEN ME! IT SHOULD’VE BEEN FUCKING ME WHO -

In the midst of his panic, Dr. Linh came running into the room and sedated Bakugou. Sighing, she ran a hand through her hair and looked towards Kirishima who looked stressed out from worrying.

“You’ll be alright, yes?” She asked, and after receiving a nod of confirmation from him, she headed off to the next patient.

-

Silence.

Bakugou woke up feeling something warm on his hand, looking down, he saw a sleeping Kirishima holding it as if it were to comfort him.

What the fuck?

Giving a scoff, he noticed that Kirishima wrote something down on it.

“Listen, I … I’m so sorry this is in pen, I shouldn’t have written that. Look, I’m sorry that (Y/N) had to die so early. I know it hurts, but you have everyone else here to comfort you when you need it. You’ll still be the manliest person that I know even if you ask for help, alright? (Y/N) died being a hero. They died doing what they loved to do: saving people. They would have done it again and again for you - for anyone - if they had to, and you know that. I’ll be here for you whenever you need it. I got you some food since I thought that you’d be hungry since hospital food isn’t that great, it’s on the table right next to you.”

Groaning, he reached over to grab the bag, and took out a pair of chopsticks and a container. Opening it, his eyes watered. It was (Y/N)’s favorite food.

This fucker.

He started eating it even though tears were going down his face and his hands were shaky, he knew that if they were here right now, they would be yelling at him for wasting “the best food on Earth”. Eating it gave him so much nostalgia, all the times that he was dragged to the same restaurant that sold it because “no one could make it like they do,” after school. Memories of the 2 heroes began playing in his mind: when the two first met, when they started training together, the late nights where they just stayed up talking, the sports festival, their first date, graduating Yuuei, creating a hero agency together, fighting by each other’s side, (Y/N)’s proposal… he missed all of it.

Reaching for another bite, he realized that there was nothing left.

They couldn’t even fucking stay alive to get married to me, huh. You dumbass, you could’ve just let me take the bullet because I would’ve survived. A stupid bullet wouldn’t do much to the great Bakugou Katsuki…

What a fucking liar. You said that you’d be here to witness me being the number one hero and you being the second. You fucking promised…

His fists were tightly clenched to the point where the chopsticks snapped, and when it did, he began bawling. Cries of agony filled the room and the name “(Y/N)” being shouted could be heard across the hall - he didn’t think that anyone would hear him in the first place as he couldn’t hear himself. Kirishima was awake the entire time, well he woke up when he felt his hand being yanked, but decided that it was the best for Bakugou to be able to cry and let all his feelings out, so he pretended that he was still asleep.

I love you so fucking much, (Y/N)...

Unknowingly to the pair, a figure stood outside the room, back leaning against the wall beside the door to say hidden. Their heart clenched in pain from hearing their childhood friend suffer so much. Thinking back on the incident, they remembered a sentence that they were told before it happened…

“Please tell Katsuki that I love him…”

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