Work Text:
You’re Not Making Any Sense
| Forced Mutisim | Blindfolded | Sensory Deprivation |
It was movie night so the band was holed up in the Molina’s family room, the tv screen flickering to life. Julie had insisted on educating the boys on all things Disney, so Nick settled in for another long night of animation.
Today’s choice of movie? Frozen .
Personally Nick himself preferred live action movies, the ones with sword fighting and pirates. Reggie seemed to like the animated stuff though, and Nick couldn’t help but love how childish his boyfriend got when they continued their marathon. Reggie was like an excited child, bouncing on the edge of the couch, eyes peeled wide open. Nick’s arm was wrapped around Reggie’s waist, pulling him close. It was a post-Caleb side effect they had realized, Nick’s inability to not be touching someone. Touch, it was something so small, so taken for granted Nick hadn’t realized how much he relied on it until it was taken away from him.
While he was under Caleb’s control one of the magician’s favorite things to do was use his powers to remind Nick how weak he was… to remind him just how powerless he was, and that no matter how hard he tried Nick would never be strong enough to fight against his control. So, as a way to torture Nick on top of using him, Caleb would take away his senses. Somedays Nick would… not wake up, but regain consciousness watching Caleb through his own eyes… but sometimes he wouldn’t wake up at all. Sometimes Caleb thrived on Nick’s inner darkness, blocking out his sight or his feeling of touch.
Touch was Caleb’s favorite thing to take away from Nick, sometimes it was sight, sometimes it was his hearing but it was almost always his sense of touch. Caleb would lock him up in the back of his mind. Nick would spend days upon weeks stuck in that goddamn meat freezer, something Caleb thought up as a way to keep him busy while the ghost was off playing with his friend. When Elsa froze her country Nick shivered, and Reggie rested his head on Nick’s shoulder. Reggie intertwined their fingers, squeezing Nick’s hand and he let the warmth wash over him, a reminder that Caleb was gone. That he wasn’t alone anymore. “You okay?” Reggie whispered, resting his chin on Nick’s shoulder. Nick nodded, swallowing thickly as Elsa built up her ice castle. Let it go, Nick thought to himself, squeezing Reggie’s hand back.
“Fine,” Nick managed to say, flinching when Elsa hit Anna with her ice powers. He refused to turn his head to look at Reggie, because if he did Nick would break down and they’d have to stop the movie night. Reggie hummed, reached a hand up and started to run his fingers through Nick’s hair. The motion helped Nick relax considerably, his shoulder blades sagging as he collapsed against the back of the couch.
“You know you can trust me, right?” Reggie asked, turning his head so they were looking at each other. “With anything,” the bassist said, switching from petting Nick’s hair to lightly cupping his face. Nick nodded, giving Reggie a tight smile,
“Yeah.” From across the couch Alex lobbed a pillow at them, successfully hitting Reggie in the face.
“Stop being cute and watch the movie,” Alex said, settling back into Willie’s arms. Between them Julie had Luke’s head in her lap, and his snore cut through the air. Nick forced himself to push down the sudden chill that raced up his spine. Julie reached over Luke’s head for her phone on the living room table then widened her eyes.
“It’s already midnight ?!” Julie exclaimed in a hushed whisper. “No wonder Luke’s already passed out like a light.” Willie let out a yawn, arms stretching around Alex’s shoulders. Nick rolled his eyes at the cliche move. Reggie yawned himself, but just curled into Nick more, and Nick wrapped his arms around the bassist tighter. Turning to Nick Julie said, “if you want dad said you could use the guest room.”
“Thanks,” Nick responded with a curt nod. He ignored the feeling of cold that ran through his bones. Reggie grumbled when Nick moved to stand up. “Hey, I gotta get upstairs,” Nick said, pressing a kiss to Reggie’s forehead. Instead of letting him stand up though, Reggie just pushed Nick back onto the couch, passionately kissing him on the lips.
“Disgusting. We can be more gay than that,” Willie said giving Alex a just as, if not more, passionate kiss. Reggie went limp in Nick’s lap, refusing to move. Nick just rolled his eyes and stood up, letting Reggie fall to the floor with a thump.
“I’m surrounded by idiots,” Julie muttered, pawing a hand through Luke’s hand. Willie and Alex poofed out of the room, Reggie following suit. She looked at Nick like she was trying to figure something out, and couldn’t put her finger on it.
“What?” Nick asked, suddenly feeling colder now that Reggie’s body heat was gone. Julie shook her head,
“Nothing just… I know you said you were fine but you’d tell us if you weren’t right?” She asked, concern sparkling in her eyes. Nick nodded, running a hand through his hair.
“Yeah,” Nick said quietly, shifting his eyes so he avoided Julie’s. “Promise,” Nick said, stressing the word. If anything, he’d tell Reggie… Conversation over, Julie walked up the stairs, Nick following her. They both walked tightly up the stairs, not wanting to wake up Ray or Carlos who were already asleep.
The first thing Nick did when he entered the guest room was turn on the light. The lamp flickered on and he turned to dial until it dimly lit the room, chasing the shadows away. His shoulders slumped as he fell onto the bed face first, burying his face into the large mass of pillows.
The all-too familiar poofing sound of a ghost disturbed the silence of the room. Nick felt his hair stick up on the back of his neck and another shiver rolled down Nick’s spine. He rolled off the bed, landing on the ground. He stood up quickly, only to see Reggie standing at the foot of the bed with his hands raised. Nick blinked furiously, trying to see through Caleb’s mirage. A breeze blew through the room, and he felt the temperature drop. His skin crawled, and he wanted to run , but his feet were frozen in place.
“Nick,” Reggie said, eyebrows furrowed in confusion, “it’s just me.” Nick shivered, unsure of if he could trust the person in front of him. None of this was real , it was just another one of Caleb’s tricks. Dangling a member of the band just out of his reach, refusing to let him touch them. Nick wrapped his arms around his chest, looking around the room trying to find the tell. Caleb’s hallucinations were almost always perfect, but after awhile Nick had been getting good at pinpointing a flaw in the mirage.
“No,” Nick said, shaking his head furiously. He couldn’t move his feet so he settled for sinking onto the floor, pulling his knees to his chest. “Not real, can’t trick me. ‘M smarter now, know the truth,” Nick continued. Reggie(?) didn’t stop walking closer, taking small hesitant steps forward like he was afraid Nick was going to run. Nick wanted to run, to leave, for his brain to just shut off and leave him for dead. Being dead was better than being aware of Caleb using him as a puppet. Maybe he’d come back as a ghost and beat Caleb’s ass for what he did to Julie and the band.
“Nick, this is real.” Reggie (?) said, lowering onto the ground in front of him. Nick shook his head furiously. He wasn’t going to fall for Caleb’s tricks, not again. “Okay, how can I prove this is real?” Reggie asked. Caleb must really be trying now, because that was the face Reggie made when he was scared of something.
“Fingers,” Nick managed to whisper, twisting his fists around the fabric of his sweatpants. Reggie still looked slightly confused, but took Nick’s response to heart.
“Fingers? What do you mean?” Reggie asked, reaching out to hold Nick’s hand. Nick flinched backwards and fell onto his ass. Nick inhaled shakily, maybe this was real… his friends did save him didn’t they? Unless that was just another one of Caleb’s tricks.
“In dreams you have missing fingers. In Caleb’s - Caleb’s mirages people uh they had missing fingers.” Nick stammered, tripping over his words. His chest tightened as another breeze crossed through the room. Reggie shifted so Nick could see him, holding up his hands balled into fists.
“Count with me then,” Reggie urged, nodding supportively. Nick managed to peel his eyes open - when did he shut them? - and watch as Reggie slowly uncurled his fingers one by one starting with his thumb.
“One, t - two, three,” Nick said, counting along whenever Reggie revealed a new finger. “Three - four… five. Five… is this real?” Nick asked, still not believing it, his heart pounding. Reggie gave him a watery smile,
“This is real,” Reggie promised. The chill creeping up Nick’s spine disappeared and he let out a choked sob. Reggie reached out and wrapped Nick’s hand up in his, and Nick was able to feel the warmth from his fingers.
“Reg, Reg ,” Nick choked out, falling forward into Reggie’s chest. Reggie wrapped his arms around him tightly, reaffirming the fact that this was, indeed, real . Nick buried his face into Reggie’s shoulder, hiding in the collar of his flannel. Nick inhaled, smelling Reggie’s cheap two-dollar cologne and the fruity body wash be used whenever he showered.
“It’s okay,” Reggie said, just as shaky as Nick. His right pressed against the back of Nick’s head, his left arm wrapping around Nick’s waist. “You’re okay,” Reggie whispered as Nick fell apart in his hold. Shudders wracked through Nick’s body as he managed to regain control of his breathing.
“Okay,” Nick confirmed, not trusting himself to be able to speak in full sentences. Reggie pressed a soft kiss to the top of his head. Reaching up the bassist wiped away Nick’s tears, ignoring the fact that they stained his flannel. “Okay,” Nick repeated, finally allowing himself to relax again.
A breeze cut through the room again and Nick shivered. Without hesitation Reggie crossed the room and slid it shut. With the cold finally gone Nick pulled himself up to the bed, Reggie pulling him close. Their fingers were interlocked, resting on Nick’s chest. Nick lost track of time, puting all of his energy in focusing on Reggie’s soft breathing, and the bass-calloused fingers combing through his hair. “You said you were fine,” Reggie said half-accusingly. Nick looked away from him, shifting his eyes down. “I - I love you Nick, but you aren’t fine.” Nick spread their fingers apart, toying with Reggie’s thumb.
“Sometimes… sometimes if I was bad or if things didn’t go the way he wanted -” Nick stopped himself, still not wanting to admit it happened to him. Reggie brushed a few loose strands out of Nick’s eyes. “Caleb would uh, lock me in this freezer… in my head. He’d leave me there for long stretches of time, risking it longer each time he did it.” Now that he was talking everything spilled out of him, like if he didn’t get it out now he never would. Nick tried to blink back the tears threatening to roll down his cheeks. “I alone Reg, and it was so so dark, and it was cold. I couldn’t feel anything, I couldn’t do anything…” Nick cut himself off with another round of sobs, sniffling into Reggie’s shoulder. Reggie tightly squeezed their hands together, a grounding force Nick could focus on.
“You’ll never be alone again Nick,” Reggie promised, pulling Nick close. “I love you so, so much. I’m going to be here for you every step of the way, we all will.” Nick just held onto Reggie tighter, squeezing his eyes shut furiously. Caleb had stolen six months of his life away. Things weren’t fine now, they weren’t okay, but Nick knew now that he had Reggie, now that he had the band , things will get better.