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The Lego Movie: The Arkenstone of Resistance

Summary:

Gimli, an ordinary dwarf construction worker, thought to be the 'Special' in Glorfindel's prophecy, accidentally finds the legendary Arkenstone. He's recruited to join the Company of the Fellowship's Quest to Reclaim the Lonely Mountain and Return the King, Gandalf's long-winded plan to use the Arkenstone to destroy The Dark Lord's One Ring - the ring he uses to put everything in the universe into perfect order (and collect treasure, he really likes to collect treasure).

Notes:

2014 Cinema Rewrite Prompt: The only movie I’ve seen this year is the Lego Movie, and I wrote this 'sort-of' screenplay-style.

Note: The Dark Lord in this story isn’t Sauron, it’s Thorin - Thorin as Lord Business. (all of the other characters will be hobbit/lotr characters, except Lego Batman - I love Lego Batman, especially the one in the videogames).

Chapter 1: Prelude

Notes:

Lego pictures are designed/photographed by my seven year old (with my help). The picture idea was inspired by the askgigolas tumblr blog (and telemachus - thank you for telling me about it).

Chapter Text

Camera pans the inside of the all-lego Lonely Mountain. We see dwarves mining, collecting more & more & more treasure - lego gold bricks and lego coins and lego gemstones.

GALADRIEL’S VOICE: It all began when THROR found the ONE RING. For dwarves are miners and can be overcome by gold-lust, and they delve deeper and deeper when they find treasures. SMAUG watched the dwarves in secret, waiting for a time to strike, for he wanted the ring just as much as they did. And then one day, he had his chance, and he attacked.

(Outside the Lonely Mountain, the camera follows the path of lego SMAUG as he streaks towards the Lonely Mountain. Destruction is wrought in his path.)

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GALADRIEL’S VOICE: And there they stayed, SMAUG and the ONE RING. A few brave souls tried to capture the Ring back, for it held secret powers that could overcome the other rings of THE DARK LORD, who wanted order in all things. But none succeeded, and history became legend, and legend became myth. And for two and a half thousand years, the One Ring passed out of all knowledge.

CAMERA PANS TO NEW LOCATION: THE LAVA FIELDS OUTSIDE MOUNT DOOM, MADE ENTIRELY OF LEGOS. The camera pans across the hot lava made of legos, up a long lego stairway similar to the bridge of Khazad-Dum. We see LEGO GANDALF, FRODO BAGGINS, SAM GAMGEE, and GLORFINDEL as they reach a hidden door to a secret cavern inside Mount Doom. The door is hidden, like the one outside Moria. Gandalf puts up a hand for them to stop. He speaks the password, and door's runes and other engraving glows like the one outside Moria.

A dark passageway opens, and Sam speaks words to a phial to bring forth the LIGHT OF EARENDIL.

They eventually enter a tomb.

In the center is a GOLDEN STATUE OF DURIN guarded by statues of the VALAR.

Next we see GANDALF, the grey wizard putting his staff in front of his body in preparation to fight, motioning to the others to ready themselves.

GANDALF: He is coming!

Enter THE DARK LORD, who looks like LORD BUSINESS with THORIN OAKENSHIELD’s face.

THE DARK LORD: Ah hah hah hah. Gandalf! Glorfindel!  Who are your little hobbit friends?

GANDALF speaks: The Dark Lord! I should’ve known. These gentle hobbits are Samwise Gamgee and Frodo Baggins, certainly not at your service.

DARK LORD: Hey Gandalf. Uch. Who built this place? Must have been a bunch of lazy wizards, sitting around a table agreeing with each other.

GANDALF: It was built by the ancient Numenoreans! With more wisdom and artistry than you can ever know.

DARK LORD begins to rise on his expanding legs: You've hidden the ONE RING well!

SAM: That belongs to the Maker! It must be protected!

DARK LORD: What a lame thing to say! You’re standing before the most powerful object in the world and you don’t want to use it? You’re a nerd, Samwise Gamgee. Archers! Destroy them!

The DARK LORD motions and his MIRKWOOD ARCHERS enter the cavern and prepare to attack.

GANDALF: Your archers are no match for master builders.

GANDALF, FRODO, SAM, AND GLORFINDEL begin building small giant eagles and fling them at THE DARK LORD and his ARCHERS.

THE DARK LORD sends a stream of red magic through ORCRIST and blinds GANDALF, FRODO, SAM, AND GLORFINDEL.  GLORFINDEL bears the brunt of the blast. Then the DARK LORD walks toward the GOLDEN STATUE OF DURIN. He has trouble opening it, but eventually figures out the password. A white-hot glow is seen. He holds the ONE RING in his hand, while GANDALF, FRODO, AND SAM awaken and begin to stand up again.

THE DARK LORD: Aha! The One Ring! Ah hah hah hah! Now my power will be unlimited!  Nothing's going to stop me now!

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He puts the ONE RING back into the GOLDEN STATUE OF DURIN and starts to leave with his ARCHERS and the STATUE. GANDALF, SAM, and FRODO try to stop him, but he blinds them again with another stream of red magic from ORCRIST. He begins to walk out of the cavern, his MIRKWOOD ARCHERS carrying the golden statue of Durin.

GLORFINDEL awakens.  From the floor he calls THE DARK LORD back.

GLORFINDEL: You are forgetting the prophecy - about the ARKENSTONE OF RESISTANCE!

THE DARK LORD, sarcastically: Oh yes, the supposed piece of resistance.  Somehow that will disarm the One Ring - my ring! It's mine now, mine!  Give me a break about your silly prophecy!

GLORFINDEL's body glows white, and the light blinds THE DARK LORD. GLORFINDEL speaks his prophecy: One day, a talented lass or fellow, a special one with hair of red and face of yellow, this special one will take the Arkenstone from it's hidden refuge and with a noble army at his or her helm will thwart your evil plans.

THE DARK LORD: Oh wow, that was a great thing that you just made up!

THE DARK LORD kicks GLORFINDEL into the depths of Mount Doom.

BOOM!! The entire volcano shakes, and THE DARK LORD begins walking out of the cavern again.

DARK LORD: Rasup gamat, Dr. Grey. That’s Khuzdul for ciao.

As the golden statue of Durin exits Mount Doom, the sides of the cavern shake. Mount Doom is CRUMBLING.

GANDALF, SAM, AND FRODO use the falling pieces of the mountain to build themselves a Giant Eagle and fly away.

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SAM: But what about GLORFINDEL?

GANDALF: He'll find a way out. He always does. Now, let's go find something to eat, because I know you're hungry.

Camera pans BAG END. BOFUR, BOMBUR, BALIN, AND DWALIN are already there, eating. FRODO shrugs, and he and SAM sit down with them. An hour later, SAM AND FRODO serve a second meal - but the DWARVES are too full to eat again. GANDALF is smoking his pipe. GLORFINDEL enters the room, disheveled and covered with soot.

GANDALF: You're late.

GLORFINDEL: I had to fight another Balrog. But I found this elf when I left, fighting Shelob's spiders. He wants to help us.

LEGOLAS steps out from behind GLORFINDEL. Unlike GLORFINDEL, his hair is perfect.


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LEGOLAS: I defected from the Dark Lord's army of Mirkwood Archers. I will help you find the SPECIAL.

GANDALF nods slowly and then speaks, still puffing his pipe: And you will fight by his or her side?

LEGOLAS nods: Yes, side by side, like I would with a friend.

CAMERA PANS MAIN TITLE, BUILT OUT OF LEGOS: “THE LEGO MOVIE: THE ARKENSTONE OF RESISTANCE”