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The sun was setting and the party was humming. Everyone was comfortable; many, including Steve, sporting a slight buzz from the champagne and a beer or two, but no one had gone off the rails. It was a beautiful evening; Aunt Deb and Leonard were in love and their happiness was hovering around those gathered like a golden aura for all to see.
Steve sat at the round table, nursing his beer, looking around at his gathered ohana. On one side, Aunt Deb fairly glowed with the events of the day, happier than he’d ever seen her. On the other side, Chin was laughing at something Grover had grumbled about Steve and Danny and their bickering.
Steve smiled to himself. Danny. He could hardly think about Danny without smiling. The last few months had been hell for the both of them: first the ‘Colombia Debacle’ and Danny’s devastating loss of Matty, and then the ‘Wo Fat Incident’ (which was how Steve had come to think of those events in his mind). But somehow, they had managed to come through the other side – both of them sporting new scars (some visible; some not) - but still intact. It was hard to believe that these nightmares could really be behind them, but they both seemed intent on moving forward instead of dwelling in the past.
Steve looked at the vacant chair across from him and wondered where Danny had gone, glancing around to try to catch sight of his absent friend. Ever since their twin-tragedies, neither seemed to want to be too far from the other for any length of time. It was as though they drew strength from each other and sought the other out as a touchstone to ground them to what was still real and true and constant. He turned slightly, looking at the small dance floor, and the few couples who were dancing, but saw no sign of his partner there. He watched for a moment as the piano player started a romantic melody and Deb and Leonard walked over and began to dance. Their joy was palpable and it made every person at the reception smile.
Without turning any further, Steve shifted his gaze past the dance floor and caught sight of Danny standing at the bar looking over at him with a fuzzy smile on his face. Steve had the impression that Danny had been watching him – for a few seconds or a few minutes even - and he appeared lost in his thoughts. The look on Danny’s face was… familiar… but Steve couldn’t quite place it, and when he gave Danny the slightest of quizzical looks, his partner quickly shifted his glance elsewhere. With a strong feeling of déjà vu sweeping over him, Steve continued to watch Danny for another moment waiting to see if he'd look back over. But then his partner turned toward the bartender at the same time that Chin nudged Steve to asked him a question, and the moment was gone.
Steve didn’t have a chance to puzzle out the exchange any further because Aunt Deb came back - just as Danny was also returning - and pulled her nephew over to the dance floor. As Steve danced with her, he told her how wonderful it was to see her so happy, and she looked at him with just a tinge of sadness in her eyes, returning to their lunchtime topic of conversation from the day before. She told him that she wished more than anything that Steve would find what she and Leonard had found together, and that she would be able to see in his face, what he saw in hers.
When they returned, Danny made a dramatic approach to Deb and asked, with the utmost formality, if he could have the pleasure of the next dance with the blushing bride, and Aunt Deb indeed blushed and accepted. The two walked hand-in-hand back toward the dance floor, Danny with a genuine smile on his face, though not the same smile Steve had seen earlier. The evening grew darker and the party got a little more raucous; everyone seeming to truly enjoy the occasion and the company and the spirits.
After a while, Danny got up and began to extricate himself from the festivities, begging off when everyone shouted for him to stay. "Sorry… sorry, I’d love to stay but I get to pick up my very beautiful daughter tomorrow morning at a ridiculously early hour and if I stay any longer I will either be too tired or too hung-over to enjoy every minute of my time with Grace. Lou, thank you for the ride – and I’ll grab a cab home.”
While everyone was sorry to see Danny go, there wasn’t a person at the table who didn’t know that Danny’s world revolved around his daughter, or who would begrudge him a moment spent with her, so they all said their good-byes.
“I’ll walk you out,” Steve said, rising to accompany his partner.
“No, that’s OK, stay and enjoy yourself.”
“No, it’s fine. I’ll be right back,” Steve said to his compatriots at the table. Several lifted their drinks to Danny (and Steve) as they said their goodbyes and the two partners walked toward the hotel exit.
“What’s up?” Danny asked, when they had moved away from the rest of the gathering.
“Nothing.” But Steve was still trying to decipher the look that he had caught Danny giving him earlier. “Just checking… is everything OK?”
“Yeah, yeah, everything’s good, babe. I just gotta get home and get some sleep or Grace will be running circles around me tomorrow… you know how she is.” Danny smiled the way he always did when the subject of conversation was Grace.
“Yeah… sure. OK.” And then, as Danny started to turn to leave, Steve stopped him again. “Hey, Danny? Do you and Grace want to come by tomorrow… maybe swim… order some pizzas?” Steve gave his partner a tentative smile.
“Sure – that sounds great, actually. Thanks.” Danny smiled affectionately at him, but not the same mysterious smile from before.
“OK – I’ll, uh, I’ll see you tomorrow then.”
“Yeah, see you tomorrow.” With that, Danny disappeared out the front door and Steve headed back toward the beach-side to the party.
”Danny gone, then?” Deb asked him as he sat back down at the table.
“Uh, yeah, but, he and Grace are going to come by tomorrow.”
“That’s nice.” Aunt Deb said, a funny look on her face.
“What?” Steve asked her, feeling off-kilter and perplexed.
“Nothing,” Deb said, innocently.
Steve just looked at her askance, trying to figure out what had gotten into everyone tonight.
A couple hours later, with only a handful of guests remaining, Grover turned to him and grumbled, “OK Cinderella, your chariot is leaving. If you want to catch a ride home, now is the time. Otherwise you can take a cab like your partner.”
“No, I’m ready. Let me just say good-bye to Deb and Leonard.”
Steve walked over to the dance floor where the newlyweds were finishing another dance and pulled his Aunt into a warm hug. “I’m heading out. But I wanted to tell you again how happy I am for you, Deb.”
“Thank you, sweetheart. It means the world to me that you were here with us today.”
“There’s nowhere else I’d want to be. I love you, Deb. You two take care of yourselves.”
“We will. And you take care of yourself, and your special people, too.”
5o5o5o5o5o
Steve and Grover drove in silence. Or rather, Steve was silent, lost in his thoughts, still thinking about Danny and the look he was giving Steve when he thought Steve hadn’t seen. He had the vague understanding that Grover was talking to him occasionally, and he grunted here and there as he tried to split his concentration. Steve just couldn’t put his finger on it and it was driving him to distraction. The look had been familiar, but not. It wasn’t a look he had seen often, but he was sure he had seen it before – he just couldn’t place it. And he wasn’t exactly sure why it was poking at his brain so insistently.
Danny always ranted about Steve and his faces, but Danny had any number of faces himself, and Steve had become pretty good at deciphering them. The look he saw tonight was filled with affection, to be sure. But Danny’s eyes had been a little hooded and there was something else there… what was it? He rifled through his catalog of Danny’s smiles: the satisfied smile at the successful completion of a case (no); the suppressed grins he had when he was pretending to be exasperate with Steve (no); the smile of pride he gave Kono as he watched the one-time rookie mature into a hell of a cop (no); the smiles he had given Gabby, and later, Amber (no); the looks he gave Grace or when he was talking about Grace (close, but no). None of these looks quite fit, but … something… something niggled at the back of his brain. He had the vague impression of another dark night at another table near the beach… smiles, laughter… something…
“I’m sorry, am I disturbing you?” Grover asked with some sarcasm in his voice.
“Oh, no, sorry. I was just trying to remember something,” Steve replied, slightly sheepishly.
“Well, don’t let me disturb you. I’ll just chauffer you around and you just pretend like I’m not here...” he muttered as he pulled into Steve’s driveway.
“Sorry, Lou, really. I guess I’m just distracted thinking about the day and my Aunt Deb. But, hey, thanks for the ride – I appreciate it.”
“Yeah, sure, whatever. See you Monday.”
Steve headed into the house, turned off the alarm and turned on the lights. As he deposited his keys and wallet onto the table, his thoughts turned again to his partner; thinking about how rock-solid Danny had been for him over the last few weeks as he worked through the aftermath of the 'Wo Fat Incident'. Danny had been steadfast, but gentle, seeming to intuit exactly what Steve needed day-by-day. At these thoughts, Steve’s conscience niggled at him a tiny bit, knowing that Danny had been dealing with the aftermath of his own personal heart-break when Steve found himself turning to his partner for support like he had never done with any other person at any other time in his life.
Danny and Matt; that situation was a tragedy of epic proportions from beginning to end – made worse, Steve thought, by the closeness of the Williams family. What Steve had gone through... yes, it too was brutal, but he could deal with the physical stuff well enough. Harder had been the emotional fallout, but his family had been fractured for years, so the revelations in Wo Fat’s den of horrors, while shocking, had ultimately seemed par for the course.
But Danny and Matt were close their whole lives. The entire Williams clan practically lived in each other’s pockets. Matt’s death hadn’t just devastated Danny; it had devastated an enormous extended family, rocking four generations of grandparents, parents, siblings, and nieces and nephews. Hell, even through Danny and Rachel's divorce, Matt and Rachel had managed to stay friendly – just part of that Williams charisma, he supposed. His thoughts drifted back to the night four years before, when Matt had visited (before the shit had hit the fan) and the warm and congenial dinner Steve had shared with Danny’s little family at the Hilton. Steve and Matt and Grace and Danny and Rachel all enjoying dinner togeth…
…Jesus! That was it! That was where he had seen that look! That night, on the beach, Steve had turned toward his partner and caught him looking at his ex-wife with an expression he had never seen before. At the time, Steve thought it was maybe wistfulness – thinking about lost love. He’d seen that look one more time, when he had walked into Danny’s hospital room and seen Rachel curled up beside his partner, sound asleep and completely at ease. Danny had looked up at Steve with a finger to his lips and that smile on his face. Steve hadn’t been entirely sure what to make of it at the time, but it seemed a reconciliation might be on the horizon.
And then came that day in Max’s car, as Danny drove the fugitive-Steve to safety, he had explained to Steve that it was over between him and Rachel – the baby was Stan’s. At that moment, in stark contrast to the sorrow he saw in his partner’s eyes, Steve had realized the previously-undefined looks that Danny had given Rachel were those of a man crazy-in-love. Steve hadn’t seen that particular smile of Danny’s since. Until tonight. And it had been directed at Steve himself.
Steve’s heart began to beat faster, and without even thinking about it he grabbed his wallet and keys again, and headed to the door. He paused for a moment to take stock of his condition: he’d had a glass of Champagne and three beers over the course of five hours. He knew he was fine to drive, so he rushed out to his truck. He drove like a bat out of hell straight to Danny’s house, not even thinking about what he would say when he got there – just knowing he had to see Danny – now.
He pulled into his partner’s driveway and noticed the house was completely dark. Shit. Steve hadn’t even thought about the time. He glanced at the clock on the dash and saw it read 11:08 – and Danny had left a few hours ago so he could turn in early. Steve sat for a moment trying to decide what to do - but only for a moment - before he thought ‘screw it’, and got out of the car and headed toward the house.
Steve rang the bell and banged pretty much non-stop on the front door, until his partner yanked it open.
“JESUS! What the hell, McGarrett? What’s going on?”
Steve looked at Danny, standing in his pajama bottoms and a t-shirt, hair mussed from his pillow. He looked absolutely adorable. “Danny…” But he couldn’t for the life of him think of what to say next. He knew he must look ridiculous – still in his tuxedo and eyes a bit wild (probably Danny would call it his aneurysm face).
Danny looked at him incredulously. “WHAT? What are you doing here in the middle of the night?”
“It’s not the middle of the night, Danny. It’s 11:08… well, probably 11:09 now,” was Steve’s absurd reply.
The look Danny gave him - like he must be insane - almost made Steve cringe, but then he remembered why he was there and tried again. “Danny…”
Danny rolled his eyes. “Yes, Steven, you already said that. And I’ll ask again, what are you doing here? Did we catch a case? Why didn’t you just call?”
Clearly words were not working for Steve, so he stepped over the threshold into the living room, causing Danny to take a step back and eye him with slight suspicion.
“What? What are you doing?”
“Danny…” He took another step closer - into Danny's personal space - and this time he grabbed Danny by the arms so that he couldn’t back away again. Danny looked up at him with confusion, but after a few seconds that gave way to a flicker of what looked to Steve like understanding and even anticipation. That was all Steve needed to bend his head quickly down and capture Danny’s lips with his own, immediately opening his mouth and sliding his tongue into Danny’s, seeking reciprocation. Danny hesitated for approximately 2.2 seconds before returning the kiss with equal fervor, grabbing the back of Steve’s neck and pulling him in tighter, with a small, cut-off groan. After a few moments, Steve realized he needed to stop to breathe, and when he broke the kiss, they both stood panting into each other’s mouths for a minute, foreheads resting against one another.
“What gave me away?” Danny finally asked.
“You were looking at me, when you were at the bar.”
“I always look at you.”
“I know, but that was the look of a man crazy-in-love. I just had to figure it out.”
“Well, it took you long enough.”
“Why didn’t you say anything?”
“I was just waiting for you to catch up, babe. Now how about you close the door. Unless you want to give the whole neighborhood a show.” Danny smiled.
And there it was - the look that had driven him to distraction all night – aimed at him again. Steve smiled his own smile and turned to close the front door, thinking how pleased Aunt Deb would be to see the look Steve had on his face right now.