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Androids didn’t care about privacy, right?
Gavin knew that his logic was flawed, especially considering Nines was more human than android at this point, but it was the excuse he chose to cling to as he threw his hood up and started to follow Nines and Ada.
Half of him wanted to believe that Nines was walking Ada back to Jericho because he was nice like that; the dude had a bigger heart than Gavin at the best of times. But the other half of Gavin knew Nines was trying to make him jealous. He was angry with him, and he had every right to be. Gavin dug his nails into his palms, cursing himself. For fuck’s sake, he was so fucking stupid.
Nines and Ada were talking about something - the RK line, Gavin thought - but he had a hard time following the conversation. Thoughts swirled like a maelstrom in his mind, each one darker than the last. He always did this. He pushed people away, made them leave, made them abandon him, and then he was all alone all over again.
It wasn’t like he’d never had to deal with this before. But he had never had to deal with losing Nines before.
Even the thought of it made him want to vomit, convulse, throw himself to the pavement and never get back up. Nines had given Gavin something he’d never had - a companion, a partner, someone that saw the worst parts of him and chose him anyway. And now that he had him, Gavin wasn’t willing to give him up. Of course, that is, if he had a choice. If Nines decided that it was worth it to stay with someone like Gavin.
The truth was, Gavin didn’t see why he would. Hell, Gavin couldn’t say he would stay with himself if he was in Nines’ place.
Nines and Ada stopped abruptly, and Gavin scrambled into the shadows to avoid detection. He was half-convinced that Nines already knew he was there and just chose not to say anything. It was an alarming feeling, because it meant that his partner would be waiting to “talk” after he dropped Ada off.
Gavin threw his arm into the brick wall opposite him at that. If Nines wanted to talk, who was he to deny him that? Not talking was what had gotten him into this mess in the first place. He should be grateful that there was even someone who wanted to listen. But Nines was so, so Nines, and Gavin was so Gavin, and he didn’t know if he could handle someone like Nines caring about someone like him. It didn’t make any fucking sense and it was all too much and too fast and he didn’t know how to let people in, how to stop pushing them away and start trusting them. And he wanted to, he wanted to trust Nines, but it was so fucking hard sometimes and it was easier to hide, safer to protect himself.
Truthfully, Gavin was having a hard time believing that anyone would want to stay after they heard all he’d done and all that he was. He chuckled darkly. After all, how could Nines expect him to believe that he would? No one else ever had.
“This isn’t the road back to Jericho.”
Nines’ voice rang out strongly in the wintry air, snapping Gavin from his thoughts, and Gavin’s heart seized. There was something about Nines’ tone that set him on edge. He gripped the handle of the knife in his jacket pocket, the other hand snaking around to grab his police-issued firearm. Something was wrong.
“No, Nines, it isn’t.”
Gavin’s breath caught in his throat and he tugged the Glock out of his pocket, emerging from the shadows of the street corner. He had to find Nines. To his horror, both his partner and Ada had disappeared. He hadn’t been fast enough. Gavin whirled around frantically, shoving his gun towards the shadows in the back alley that he couldn’t quite identify. Oh god, oh god, ohgodohgodohgodohgod - a sound, almost like a cross between a human scream and a computer system’s error message, rang out from the recesses of an alley to Gavin’s right.
Gavin scrambled towards the noise, brandishing his weapon in front of him and switching on the flashlight so he could see where he was going. It was by the blue globe of light it offered that he caught sight of Nines, crumpled into a heap on the dirty alley floor.
“Nines?” Gavin shouted, falling to his knees and reaching for the android. “Nines!” Nines parted his lips and tried to say something, but nothing came out. Gavin’s heart began to pound painfully against his ribcage. His breath caught in his throat and he reached out to cradle the back of Nines’ head, pressing his free hand to his partner’s cheek.
“Nines, Nines, hey,” Gavin said urgently. “Hey, asshole! Don’t you dare close your eyes on me, tin can.”
“G-Gavin.” Nines’ voice sounded glitchy and low, so unlike the smooth, dulcet tones Gavin had grown accustomed to.
“Nines,” Gavin said again, and the hand that was resting on the android’s face tightened. Nines’ synthskin was flickering in and out of existence, and Gavin felt fear curl like a vice around his heart. “I’m right here, Nines.” He grabbed for his cellphone and began to dial 911. There was no way the tin can was dying on his watch.
“Goodbye, Gavin.” Nines’ voice was still seven kinds of fucked up, but Gavin had heard that word enough times to recognise it instantly. His eyes widened and he grabbed Nines’ shoulders, tugging the android into his arms.
“No.” Gavin’s voice was thick with emotion, and he wouldn’t have been surprised if he was crying and just didn’t realise it. “No! Nines, Nines, get back here, don’t you do that, don’t you fuckin’ dare. Don’t say goodbye, don’t you dare say goodbye to me. Y-You’re a Terminator, right? You can survive anything. You, you…” Gavin trailed off. Nines’ eyes were beginning to grow dull, and the thrum of his thirium pump beneath Gavin’s fingers was weak and slow.
“Nines,” Gavin whispered brokenly. “Please, Nines, I love you. Please don’t leave me.” Tears began to fall down Gavin’s cheeks, and he felt them like they were acid, burning his skin.
The thirium pump grinded to a halt and Nines’ eyes slipped shut. Nines was lost in his mind, gone to who knows where, and now Gavin might not ever get him back.
Gavin remembered, suddenly and with surprising clarity, something that Nines had said to him outside the bar.
“I’m not going anywhere.”
“Yes, you are!” Gavin cried, and he shook his partner a little, willing him to open his eyes again. “Yes, you fucking are.”
Nines remained cold and silent, like a broken machine, and Gavin felt his heart begin to break.