Chapter Text
Kim Dokja surveys the carriage around him and thinks: fiction and reality have overlapped. This is what he remembers. It’s not exactly the same — can’t be exactly the same, since the POV character isn’t here to experience it — but it’s enough for him to be sure. It’s unmistakably the Ways of Survival.
There’s the dokkaebi, threatening to kill them all. There’s Lee Hyunsung, trying to take control of the situation. And there’s Kim Namwoon, sending everyone into a panic. It’s about what he’d expect.
Except for some reason, Kim Namwoon looks strangely familiar. There’s something about the shape of his eyes, the curve of his mouth, the way he barks out his words. If Kim Dokja didn’t know better, he’d say the teenager reminds him of his own cousin. His cousin who is coincidentally named —
Kim Dokja squints.
So.
If reality worked like Kim Namwoon thought it had for the past nineteen years and he had been told to kill someone at gunpoint, he probably would have panicked. Not much, because Kim Namwoon is a badass, but — well. It would have been there.
It isn’t here now, even though the situation is equivalent. Because reality isn’t working like he’s been taught, and it’s like his capacity to freak about that — not that he freaks out, ever — has overloaded so hard that he’s looped all the way back to calm.
Pop-up screens and apocalypses and scenarios and murder. Kim Namwoon had a cousin who liked that sort of thing. That guy had this one novel as the first and sometimes only topic of conversation. Kim Namwoon didn’t really get it, but hey, as long as it made him happy, right?
A groan interrupts his thoughts.
“Shut up,” Kim Namwoon says brightly to the old woman still in his grip. She makes another pathetic, fearful sound, but goes quiet. What do you know, it turns out old dogs can learn new tricks. He’s still going to kill her — he sort of has to kill her, if he wants to stay alive — but her silence is making him feel generous, so she’s still got a good few minutes of not being dead. Lucky her.
For now, he’ll watch chaos unfold in the carriage. It’s a pretty good show, he has to hand it to that crazy grasshopper ahjussi. All those people running around trying to catch grasshoppers for their lives? That’s great. That’s hilarious, isn’t it?
Grasshopper-ahjussi catches him by the shoulder. “Kim Namwoon?”
Kim Namwoon turns the full force of his grin on him. “Yeah, you want something, Grasshopper-ahjussi?”
His favorite cousin stares uncomprehendingly back.
…No, it can’t be. Kim Namwoon’s just confusing things. This man just looks similar, that’s all, and it’s not like Kim Namwoon remembers Kim Dokja’s face that clearly anyway, it’s been so long.
“…Ah. Aha,” Kim Namwoon says. “Hyung?”
Oh, hey, maybe Kim Namwoon is freaking about this.
“You’ve… dyed your hair,” the ahjussi who is most definitely Kim Dokja says, instead of commenting on the fact that the first time he’s seen his kid cousin in years, said kid cousin is beating up an old lady.
Kim Namwoon’s hand goes slack. The grandmother drops from his grip, gasping annoyingly.
This is the worst family reunion ever.
Kim Dokja is Kim Namwoon’s favorite cousin. This becomes true the moment Kim Namwoon understands that neither of his parents want him around Kim Dokja.
Kim Namwoon doesn’t really get it. Kim Dokja is quiet and boring and likes keeping out of the way with his nose in a book, which seem like traits that Mother and Father want from him, considering they keep calling him loud and excitable and why can’t you stay still, Kim Namwoon.
But clearly there’s something here, so Kim Namwoon drapes himself on an only mildly resistant Kim Dokja and asks hey what’re you reading and hey gimme that can I see and that looks boring are you actually having fun and why don’t Mother and Father like you —
That last question gets Kim Namwoon carried away mid-conversation. Then his parents give him a very serious talk about how his aunt Lee Sookyung did a Very Scary Very Bad Very Unforgivable thing, and it’s not like they hate Kim Dokja, of course not, but who knows what Lee Sookyung passed onto him? Children follow their parents, and what if Kim Dokja is also capable of the Very Scary Very Bad Very Unforgivable thing? Kim Dokja is so very similar to Lee Sookyung, after all.
“Uh-huh,” Kim Namwoon says, nodding seriously. He understands that Lee Sookyung is Very Scary and Bad and Kind of Evil.
He also understands that Kim Dokja cries when he gets poked too hard or when he reads something sad or when forgettable bit characters die in movies.
Kim Namwoon doesn’t really see a resemblance. It’s a little disappointing.
“You’re not scary,” Kim Namwoon informs Kim Dokja, still put-out.
Kim Dokja blinks back at him, looking disoriented. “O…kay?”
Content that Kim Dokja understands this, Kim Namwoon resumes the arduous task of trying to pull Kim Dokja’s book out of his hands.
If someone had ever bothered asking Kim Dokja, he would say that Kim Namwoon is also his favorite cousin. Kim Namwoon was irritating — had always been irritating — but also tiny and cute and unafraid and weirdly interested in what Kim Dokja has to say. It was kind of endearing.
Kim Dokja doesn’t see any of that in the grinning teenager in front of him.
“Well, you’ve gotten pretty cool, huh, hyung? Making a scene like this,” Kim Namwoon says. He glances down at the grandmother and curls his lips. “I told you to shut up.”
The grandmother whimpers. Kim Namwoon scoffs and looks back up at Kim Dokja, teeth bared. “You know, some people just can’t do what they’re told. It doesn’t seem like you have that much of a problem with it anymore, though? You got them to do what you wanted. You’ll have to show me that trick sometime, eh?”
“Kim Namwoon,” says Kim Dokja, very quietly, “what do you think you’re doing?”
“What does it look like, huh? What, are you trying to tell me that you disapprove? You want me to feel bad about it? You think you’ve got the right to that kind of thing?”
[Exclusive skill, ‘Character List’ is activated.]
A window pops up in front of Kim Dokja. It’s the work of the moment to scan through it.
[Character Information]
[Name: Kim Namwoon.
Age: 19.
Constellation Support: None (Two constellations are ■■■■■■■■■■■■■■
Private Attribute: Chuunibyou ■■■■■■■■■■■■■■]
Nothing in there is new information. He knows this guy’s name and age and possible constellation support. He knows that this is Kim Namwoon, the Delusion Demon. The sort of character who waits for the end of the world and laughs when he sees it coming.
He was meant to only be a character.
“Nothing to say?” Kim Namwoon says, arching his eyebrows. “Well. It doesn’t matter. Step away, hyung, I have to do something with this old lady and you’ll probably get blood all over your shoes if you keep standing here. You can’t tell me you want that.”
“Why are you doing this? You could go for the insects.”
“Haah , that’s too much effort. Why would I do that when I have an insect right here? Just back up, okay?”
Kim Namwoon had been a bright child. Now, he is exactly the character Kim Dokja imagined. Murderous and mad and delighting in it.
It’s amazing.
It’s terrible.
[The exclusive skill, ‘Fourth Wall’ is shaking!]
“No,” says Kim Dokja. “I refuse.”
All right. So Kim Namwoon had known his hyung probably wouldn’t be super down with murder. Most people aren’t, it didn’t make sense that Kim Dokja would be the exception here. But he’d thought it meant that Kim Dokja, at the very most, would be conflicted about it. He’d thought that Kim Dokja would see reality, just like the nobodies who’d prioritized their lives over some stupid concept of respecting their elders.
He didn’t think Kim Dokja would stare him down and try standing in his way.
“You… refuse,” Kim Namwoon says slowly. “Really? You care about this old lady? Did you throw that the net over there to do this from the beginning?”
Kim Dokja doesn’t answer, mouth thinned and head high. Like he’s one of those old bastards that care all about justice and protecting the weak and all that shit.
Ha. As if.
“What a conscience you have. Let me ask you a question, hyung: does it matter? You say I could have gone after those grasshoppers. Sure, if I tried, I could get one eventually, but we have limited time. Maybe three minutes wouldn’t be enough to catch a grasshopper, you know? Where would I be then?”
The obvious answer is dead. Kim Namwoon knows it and Kim Dokja knows it and at this rate, the whole world knows it, and still the expression on Kim Dokja’s face is cool and disappointed, as if Kim Namwoon’s totally in the wrong for wanting to live at all.
“If I want to live, I have to kill something,” Kim Namwoon says, just a little too fast, and maybe he is freaking out about this, okay? Maybe he is freaking out over the fact that apparently Kim Dokja thinks that he’d be better off dead, yeah? How else is he supposed to interpret that face? “What does it matter that it’s this grandmother, huh? You think she’d be able to kill someone to survive? If she’s going to die anyway, what does it really matter if I’m the one who’s doing the killing? What does it matter that I live instead of her?”
He’s breathing too hard and talking too loud at the end of it all, and the only thing he gets in return is Kim Dokja’s blank stare. Kim Namwoon hates it.
“Well?” Kim Namwoon barks out. “Say something! Do you want me to die or not, hyung?”
Silence.
“If there’s a better way to go about it,” Kim Dokja finally says, gaze cold and smooth as glass, “I don’t see why you shouldn’t take it.”
“What are you trying to say ? What better way? Are you trying to satisfy some sort of hero complex? Is that it, huh? I’m sorry that I’m not fitting in your weird —”
He cuts himself as Kim Dokja strides forward, and for a moment, Kim Namwoon thinks he’s about to get punched in the face. Instead, Kim Dokja grabs his hand, and presses something small, wet, and slimy into it.
Kim Namwoon looks down at it in disgust. “What is this?”
“Grasshopper eggs. They count as living creatures.”
[Exclusive skill, ‘Character List’ is activated.]
If this had been exactly the scenario Kim Dokja imagined, he would have happily left Kim Namwoon to die. Ensured that Kim Namwoon died, even.
[Name: Kim Na■■■■■
Age: ■■
Constellation Support: No■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■
Private Attribute: C■■■■■■■■■■■■■■
Exclusive Skills: ■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■
Overall Rating: A chuunibyou who was ■■■■■ ]
[An error has occurred.]
But Kim Namwoon, his least favorite character in Ways of Survival, is also Kim Namwoon, Kim Dokja’s baby cousin, the only one he had that actually liked him. He can’t do that to the child who always tried to coerce his way into a piggyback ride and whined that he’s bored, hyung, can’t you tell me something interesting?
[The exclusive skill, ‘Fourth Wall’ is shaking!]
[The information of this person can’t be read in ‘Character List.’]
[The given time has run out.]
Heads explode. They pop like balloons and paint the carriage red. Kim Namwoon watches it happen dispassionately, fists clenched.
[You have killed 21 living things.]
[Kill History: 21 grasshopper eggs.]
[You have killed non-resisting living things, so the number of coins you have acquired is reduced by half.]
[1,050 coins have been acquired!]
The grandmother is still groaning on the ground, clutching a hand filled with a smattering of crushed grasshopper eggs to her chest. She is stubbornly, pointedly, still alive, head attached to her body and all.
“You have some extra coins from clearing the scenario, halmeoni,” Kim Dokja says steadily from his position kneeling beside her. “You can use them to heal your body and make yourself stronger. You will need it in the future if you plan to survive.”
The grandmother nods, still panting mutely. She catches sight of Kim Namwoon’s sneer and flinches.
“What are you trying to pull?” Kim Namwoon says, eyes narrowed.
Kim Dokja smiles thinly at him. “What does it look like?”