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Nagito allowed himself to worry at last; why had Hajime never told him? Never told him of his anxiety? They’ve been dating for ten months, ten! Not a single word about Hajime’s anxiety was mentioned! Did he talk about it and Nagito didn’t hear? Or maybe Hajime was caught up in Nagito’s mental issues that he didn’t have the time to talk about it...one way or another, this was probably Nagito’s fault, he told himself.
Unfortunately, it was three in the morning on a school night so the chances of either boy sneaking out to see the other for comfort was slim
But not impossible.
Nagito quickly put on a green jacket, locking his bedroom door so his parents wouldn’t barge in (they try not to but it is an old habit for them) and he quickly opened his window and climbed out.
Hajime's house wasn't actually too far; only a few blocks away and unlike Nagito's mansion, he lived around people. Nagito knew that from the other times he snuck out to seek comfort from the other but this was a completely different story for him...Hajime called him, hyperventilating and speaking so rushed that the other couldn't understand a word. The Reserve Course Student simply pushed it off when Nagito couldn't understand, as he did with his own emotions, and hung up. The white-haired boys' brain clicked and realized the situation. But sneaking out on a school night was risky...they usually only did it on the weekends, where if one of the parents walks in by accident, it'd be fine...Nagito knew that if the roles were switched, Hajime would've already been on his way, just as he was.
Hajime was never one to show strong emotions around people, due to his bad habit of detaching from people by accident. Nagito tried to never take it personally; Hajime’s parents were...how does he say this lightly?...his parents were air-heads, oblivious even. Nagito wouldn’t call himself observant but he still noticed things that even Hajime didn’t know; like how Hajime’s eyes would light up when he saw something interesting, how his body would relax in Nagito’s touch...to have a person like Hajime was a dream to the hope-filled boy, sometimes he wondered if this was all his imagination.
His feet stuttered once he saw the house; did he climb through Hajime’s window or go through the backdoor? Nagito quickly looked around to see if anyone was around or for a hint of life...nothing. Beautiful silence.
Nagito hugged himself as the wind gently blew and he jogged up to under Hajime’s window. The boys’ window was on the second floor, although not too high up but impossible to climb. His grey-green eyes scanned every inch...nothing to climb onto or climb. His head suddenly whipped towards their porch. Of course, it’d be rude to use a patio chair as a stepping stool but desperate times call for desperate measures. Nagito hustled over and grabbed the chair, carefully picking it up and taking it over to under the window-
Soon he realized that wouldn’t work, neither he nor the chair was long enough so he put it back and rushed to the backdoor, which was always unlocked. Silently, he turned the silver doorknob and snuck through, shutting the door just as silently.
The Hinata’s owned two 10-month-old cats. Nagito and Hajime found them on the street, laying together as kittens. Nagito couldn’t take them in, his mother was allergic (and a neat freak) so Hajime kept them. An all brown one and the other completely white, both sitting in the room where Nagito entered from. Hajime noted once how the cats reminded him of himself and Nagtio so they named the brown one Hina and the white one Ko. From the small memory, he gave the cats a smile before walking up and stroking their heads. Ko leaned into the touch as if starved for attention while Hina was content with the stroke.
“I gotta go see Hajime, okay?” he whispered to the two. Ko let out a meow, suddenly standing and looking at his friend, who reluctantly stood, stretching out slowly. Nagito quickly rounded the corner and snuck up the stairs to Hajime’s room.
Nagito approached the door holding his boyfriend inside as the two cats followed shortly behind. Before he could knock, Ko raced up between his legs and threw himself at the door, a loud thump emitting from the impact. Nagito stared down at the white cat, who simply wobbled and walked back to behind him. Nagito was baffled but had no time to think about it before the door creaked open, a red-faced Hajime was revealed; his eyes were puffy, nose red, cheeks stained with tears, and an old black oversized hoodie Nagito gave him was covering his torso. Hajime’s eyes shot open in shock.
“Nagito? What- was-?”
“If you’re gonna ask me if I threw myself at the door, no, that was Ko. Why did he do that?”
“It’s usually to get my attention but what are you doing here?” Nagito gave his boyfriend a stare that said, I think you know why.
“...on a school night?” Hajime shrank into the hoodie.
“On any night, Hajime,” Nagito reached and grabbed his boyfriends’ hands, holding them gently, “I’m here for you just like you’re here for me.”
Hajime’s eyes slowly went glassy.
“Come in,” Hajime tore himself away from Nagito’s gentle hand-holding and disappeared in his dark bedroom. Nagito opened the door more, squeezing inside (letting the cats in) and then silently shutting the door. He looked back to Hajime, who laid on his bed; the moon shined through his window and the light touched Hajime’s face as a tear silently fell down his cheek. Quick to his aid, Nagito laid beside him, facing him.
“Hajime, sweetheart,” he saw Hajime’s body relax at the name; he knew it was his favorite nickname, “what’s wrong?”
“I’m sorry I never told you before,” Hajime looked away, tears still falling, “all my life people told me stuff about it, I thought...I thought it wasn’t a thing to bother with.”
“What did they say?” Absentmindedly, Nagito reached out and played with Hajime’s brown hair, gently stroking as Hajime replied.
“Just...they always told me I was too young to worry or that I was faking it for attention,” Hajime avoided eye contact, fiddling with the sleeves of his hoodie.
“But you’re not ‘too young’ or ‘seeking attention’,” Nagito’s eyebrows furrowed, looking at the boy.
“That’s not what I thought at first so I just...shoved everything away, pretended I was fine,” Hajime’s body shrank into the mattress, his face turning red again, “but I’m not. I...I can’t go a day without hiding in the restroom just to get air or without feeling myself shake for no reason, I don’t understand…”
At this point, tears were coming down his face like a waterfall. Nagito scooted closer to him and gently placed his pale hand on his boyfriends’ cheek, wiping away the tears.
“Hey, hey,” he breathed out, softly, “it’s okay, I promise. I’m never going to judge you, Hajime.”
The cats had curled up with Hajime, Ko against his back, and Hina at his feet. Nagito watched Hajime calm himself down...only for a moment.
“Even my parents say it’s nothing...Ko,” Nagito’s heart broke from his voice; Hajime didn’t mean it, he knew, but he sounded desperate, utterly in so much emotional pain as his eyes stared at Nagito’s, “Ko, it doesn’t feel like nothing.”
“I know, Hajime, I know. It’s not ‘nothing’ if it’s hurting you and it is,” Nagito couldn’t believe how long he was unaware of this. The entire year they were friends and pining over each other then almost another year later and he’s only just learning this. Hajime cried harder when Nagito had replied. The taller boy didn’t like that he was making him cry more but knowing the situation, he had never been told any of this so he was only happy to know Nagito was understanding. The albino reached his arms out and allowed Hajime to snuggle into him. Usually, it’s the other way around, usually, it’s Nagito in need of comfort whether he was having an episode or a really bad day...it had never occurred to him that Hajime might need to be held in a protective barrier like he would for the other boy. Ko moved, frustrated that his backrest was taken, and joined Hina at the bottom of the bed to snuggle him. Hajime’s body shook as he tried to suppress the sobs that wanted to come out.
“Hinata~Kun,” Nagito forced the boy to pull away from him for a moment, holding both sides of the brunette’s red and wet face, “you can cry as loud as you want, especially around me.”
Back he went, Hajime shoved his face into Nagito’s boney chest, muffled mumbling and sobbing from him as his arms looped around Nagito’s back, gripping the green jacket. Nagito would’ve done anything to make him smile again, to allow him to ignore the bottled-up emotion once more but he knew Hajime needed this; to just cry on someone. Although remembering now, Nagito realized he was wearing his favorite white t-shirt but sacrifices must be made. He tried to occupy his hands; gently stroking Hajime’s hair, rubbing his back, he was trying everything to be soothing. Hajime would always do the same things, of course, it always worked for him but he wasn’t sure if Hajime was being soothed or not, as the crying kept going. So they laid there, Nagito finding ways to be comforting while Hajime let out his bottled up emotions.
The night went on, Nagito heard Hajime’s crying and sobbing slow down as well as his breathing calming down. At first, he thought his boyfriend passed out so he began gently scooting himself backwards.
“Where are you going?” Hajime’s raspy voice cut the pure silence, startling Nagito into staying still.
“I thought you fell asleep,” Hajime chuckled at that.
“I was about to.”
Silence again but nothing about it was tense or awkward, they instead stared at each other, searching in the others’ eyes for a few more minutes.
“Nagito,” the albino’s eyebrows raised at his name, “thank you.”
He smiled gently, feeling a wave of relief, “any day, Hajime.”
Silence again.
“Was I comforting?” The question was itching at him since they parted; his brain was wobbling like crazy trying to find a logical answer without asking Hajime himself until he couldn’t find it and just had to ask. Hajime let out a happy sigh,.
“Yes, don’t worry about it.”
“Okay.”
The silence returned. They laid for a moment until Hajime rolled over, reaching for his phone off of his nightstand to look at the time.
“Jesus! It’s four in the morning! Nagito-”
“I’ll just borrow some of your clothes, Hajime!”
“But your parents-”
“They work early, remember? They never check on me in the morning. Now,” Nagito attached himself to Hajime quickly, “sleep.”
And they did. Although restlessly from the running emotions, they were both still comfortable and slept for the next two hours.