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1.
Ibara watches him leave. The snow is coming down hard, but not sticking. It dissipates upon hitting the dirt ground. Yuzuru is with his parents, the parents who abandoned him in this wretched military camp, who forced him into a role he has no choice but to assimilate into. He looks happy—but why? When only months earlier, he spoke of dying on the battlefield just to spite them?
Gritting his teeth, Ibara turns away from the scene. There is no need for him to linger here. Life will be easier now, without Yuzuru’s irritating presence, a reminder of the world he didn’t inhabit. Surely whoever ends up being appointed the next instructor will be easier to fool than Yuzuru, and will allow him to slack off more.
Around him, other soldiers are reuniting with their loved ones. Their joy astounds Ibara.
He spares one last look at Yuzuru. He is embraced by his mother, and embracing her back. In that moment, their eyes meet, and Ibara holds contact as if only to dare Yuzuru to pity him. Yuzuru’s clear gaze tells him nothing, but some part of him still finds himself wondering: if he reached out, would Yuzuru reach back?
He recalls their training sessions together. Yuzuru had adapted to the environment of the camp almost eerily so, as if he was more suited for being a soldier than being a butler. The lieutenant in charge of the camp soon realized that Yuzuru was the only one capable of handling Ibara and his ill-nature, placing him head of Ibara’s squadron even with his young age.
During these sessions, when the two of them sometimes exchanged details about themselves, Ibara attempting to scheme his way out of training, Yuzuru would tell him about the role he was expected to fulfill. He seemed empty when he talked about being a butler, about being one since he was born. Ibara would always experience a twinge of annoyance in his stomach hearing the boy disregard the luxury he was born into.
It soon became obvious that Yuzuru scorned his parents and the path thrust upon him to the point he believed there was greater freedom in death. And yet even so, he spoke of ideals Ibara scoffed at.
Ibara wants to march over and ask Yuzuru if he will truly obtain the happiness and dedication his parents had said they found while serving the Himemiyas. It all seemed ridiculous to him, all of it being imposed onto Yuzuru rather than the boy obtaining it with his own hands. Yuzuru could have anything he wanted, more than Ibara could ever dream of, but he lacked the courage to rise against this forced future. It sickened Ibara.
What value is given into discovering what you treasure if it’s handed to you on a silver plate, disguised as love? In reality, he determines familial love, love born from duty, and all other variants were only constructs people delude themselves to believe.
His father says something, and Yuzuru breaks eye contact. Ibara supposes that is it then. In the end, he knew that this is how it would turn out, that Yuzuru would eventually run back to the safety of the Himemiyas’ mansion, Ibara left as nothing but an afterthought. Though he’s used to it, though they aren’t friends, for some reason, he still feels thorns pricking him from within.
Yuzuru and his parents finish their tearful reunion, Yuzuru’s father picks up his bag containing the few personal belongings soldiers are allowed in camp, and they move towards the exit. Yuzuru’s figure becomes fainter. The snow is starting to blur Ibara’s vision, wettening his glasses.
He makes his way to the barracks. There will be multiple empty beds tonight, not that it matters to Ibara. Later, when he takes his former instructor commander’s old blanket and holds it close to his small frame, he tells himself that it’s to ward off the winter cold, that it’s for his own survival. No one is around to comment on it.
2.
Everything is going according to plan. Soon, he will have access to all of Yumenosaki’s files, all of their secrets and weaknesses. He should be relieved with how easily it unfolded, but as Ibara watches Yuzuru and the three other students from the shadows through his binoculars, agitation stirs in him.
Honestly, Ibara had expected more trouble—earlier, when he had seen Yuzuru’s name on the Yumenosaki student enrollment list, he had clicked his tongue and spent a couple extra hours reviewing the details of his scheme. He had never been able to outsmart the other boy when they were younger. No matter what he tried, whether it was mental trickery or a physical threat, Yuzuru remained a steadfast opposition.
A man dressed in black from besides him taps him on the shoulder, having recently picked a message up on his intercom. Ibara turns to him, and the man supplies, “We’ve just received a report concerning safety in Yumenosaki.”
Ibara forces the grimace off his face, smiling wide and adjusting his glasses. “Excellent. Once the students exit the premise, you and your men will move in. Head straight for the student council room first, then search the rest of the school. Leave no room untouched.”
The man nods, and while speaking into his intercom, he begins walking towards a back entrance of Yumenosaki that Ibara had pointed out to his associates while giving a brief on the layout of the school.
“The flaws of Yumenosaki will finally become clear. Through exploiting these weaknesses, my poison will spread even more… ♪” Ibara says to himself. He laughs faintly, and returns his gaze to the students waiting at the entrance of the school. Though he’s too far away to hear the details of their conversation, he can sense the relaxed atmosphere of the gathering from their stances and expressions. It seemed that they believed that the safety of the school was now guaranteed.
A car pulls into the entrance, and Yuzuru motions for the others around him to get in with a polite smile on his face. The butler enters the car last, and it rolls off the school campus into the dark of the night. Watching the car disappear down the road, Ibara thinks that he may actually miss the challenge Yuzuru used to impose on him in childhood. His heart feels heavy. It really was a shame that he had been softened by the easy luxury of the life handed to him.
3.
Narrowingly avoiding the hot tea currently being poured on empty pavement, Ibara surmises that perhaps Yuzuru’s soldier-like senses haven't entirely dulled. Anzu’s mouth has formed an ‘o’ as if she has trouble processing what has just happened. He curses silently; he was looking forward to manipulating the girl into walking into his laid out traps. She seemed kind and though taken aback by his propositions, she was listening to him with objective interest.
Now, Yuzuru had appeared to thwart his efforts. He eyes Ibara with distaste, moving in between him and Anzu. Something ugly inside Ibara turns at this.
“Why, if it isn’t Fushimi Yuzuru! It’s been so long, did you change your hairstyle? I almost didn’t recognize you!” Ibara claps his hands together, and then reaches out for a handshake.
Yuzuru doesn’t take his hand, and asks Anzu to lend him an ear. Seeing him whisper softly into the girl’s ear fills Ibara with more annoyance. He is sure that Yuzuru speaks loud enough for him to hear in order to spur him away. “Anzu-san, this man is dangerous. I would highly suggest that you don’t involve yourself with him.”
Ibara supposes there’s no point exchanging pleasantries with one who already knows his true nature. Yuzuru is also curt with him, but he has a feeling that it is only so because Yuzuru wishes to be rid of his presence as soon as possible.
That is fine with him—there is nothing to be gained from staying around his old acquaintance. Yuzuru was too familiar with him, too used to his ways. There was no merit in being near him, no information to be uncovered.
Hearing Yuzuru speak fondly of his young master, of the path that he believes he has ‘chosen’ of his own will is the final straw. He excuses himself to Anzu, and then storms away from the cafe.
Ibara knew life wasn’t fair, right from when he was born. His circumstances have been anything but fair to him, with his parents dumping him in a sorry excuse for an orphanage, and then him once again being dumped in a military camp. He had only gotten to the place where he is now by climbing up in society with his own tactics and skills, taking proper advantage of the chance given to him through the death of his great grandfather. He built the life he currently leads with his own determination and grit.
All this didn’t bother him, and most of the time, he didn’t even think about where he had started out. However, seeing Yuzuru so easily accept the path provided to him irritates him for reasons he can't explain.
Once he is out of sight, Ibara leans against a wall and brings a hand up to massage his temple. His head has started to hurt, and he still has an entire day’s worth of activities to take care of. He makes a mental note to stop by the clinic to find a means of alleviating the pain.
4.
The arena is empty and dark now, but there are remains of the event left behind in the form of forgotten lightsticks and fans scattered around the aisles, personal belongings that will have to be brought to lost and found. For once, Ibara feels at peace. The entire ordeal had been grueling, from the mishap with Trickstar and recovering from it, to the performance itself, and Ibara allows himself a moment to relax.
His plans being thrown off had angered him, but being able to strike back at the corruption at the top of Cosmic Production had left him satisfied. Their carelessness and stupidity allowed for them to be easily taken down.
Despite everything, Ibara had found enjoyment in the recent performance. He would never prioritize friendship over power, but he will admit that the warmth extended to him from his fellow members wasn’t completely unwelcome.
It was no secret that he had been using them all for his own purposes, but the fact that they still considered him a comrade, that they accepted him in spite of his rejection of the traditional reasons for being an idol (love, dreams, hope, all values that held no weight to Ibara) had surprised him.
He refuses to lose his edge in the fashion Yuzuru had. His ruthless nature was the only way he had survived, and he wouldn’t allow for himself to be weakened like others. However, standing on stage along with his members, he had realized that this feeling of camaraderie wasn’t a bad one to have once in a while.
With His Excellency dozing away in a private room, and His Highness dragging an unwilling Jun to an afterparty, he wound up alone, with time to spare. Spectating the stage from the aisles, Ibara realizes the true grandness of the event. While he was aware that this was the biggest event Eden had participated in, it really hits him now.
He’s about to leave the arena and wake His Excellency, when he senses a presence from behind him. Upon learning who it is, his heart rate picks up.
“Yuzuru! Oh, how I’ve missed you! What did you think of today’s performance? Our loss saddened me, but consider it a rare incident that will not happen again.”
The butler ignores his question. “Are you aware that many think the reveal of Akehoshi-sama’s father was your doing?”
“Always straight to the point! What about you, do you also believe it was me?” Ibara laughs haughtily and refocuses his attention on the stage, away from Yuzuru.
“I’m not an idiot,” he hears from beside him, closer now, “Frontal attacks were never your style. You aren’t bold or careless enough to do something that risky. The following strike on the top officials confirmed my presumption.”
He doesn’t know what to say in response. His silence prompts Yuzuru to continue, “What will you do about it?”
Letting out a sigh, Ibara says, “There is nothing to be done—let them think what they want. A lack of potential allies is detrimental, but it’s not as if the current situation isn’t recoverable.”
“They must consider you an enemy now. These aren’t mere teenagers and soldiers you can manipulate to fulfill your whims, Ibara. They’re adults with considerable connections and power, businessmen who will stop at nothing to destroy you if they designate you a threat.” His tone sounds pinched, and it causes Ibara to look at him strangely.
He squints at him. The dim lighting of the arena obscures Yuzuru’s face. “And why do you care?”
“That is a question I ask myself, too.”
Ibara scoffs; this conversation is going nowhere. Yuzuru is underestimating him—he is also an entrepreneur, and has his own means of combating power-crazy adults. Ibara needs no sympathy from him. He turns to leave, but Yuzuru stops him with a hand on his shoulder.
Yuzuru says quietly, “Just be careful. It would leave a bad taste in my mouth to see you brought down by people like them.” He lowers his hand, and walks towards the bright hallway behind the nearest exit, leaving a puzzled Ibara alone in the dark.
5.
While Ibara is often swamped with work and not always able to attend the meetings, joining Shiina’s circle has nevertheless proved to be useful to some extent. Along with providing him with knowledge on how to supply His Excellency with the most ideal diet, it gives him opportunities to discern information from idols outside of his agency.
He found that Sena was surprisingly open about Knights’ activities—but perhaps it was more that he had much to complain about, talking Ibara and Kanzaki’s heads off while Shiina directed them through the recipe they were following for that day.
However, every single time he was about to poke and prod Sena into spilling more tightly kept company secrets, Yuzuru would speak up to warn the others to watch what they say around a snake like him. A constant thorn in Ibara’s side.
The only positive of it was being able to taunt the man, knowing he wouldn’t strike back beyond words in fear of tarnishing his and his master’s image. It both annoyed and amused Ibara; Ibara’s military skills and tactics had been ingrained in him, and he used them to his disposal. On the other hand, Yuzuru’s were locked deep behind his butler mask, never to be used unless it was for the safety of that boy.
Though it wasn’t in his best interest, he always tried to expose that side of Yuzuru. Today isn’t any different; he had been attempting to improve his skill with crafting nutritious but tasty and visually appealing meals (His Excellency was somewhat picky) in the kitchen that Shiina’s circle usually occupied when the door had burst open. Ibara glances up from chopping carrots, surprised by Yuzuru’s unusual disgruntled appearance. He’s wearing his training outfit, and his movements are frantic as he moves into the kitchen and to the fridge without a word.
Ibara opens his mouth, “Now what could have gotten the little housepet into such a frenzy?” He smirks at the small jolt in Yuzuru—it would never not be satisfying to arouse a reaction from him.
Yuzuru pulls open the freezer, moving items inside around. “Forgive me, but I don’t have the time to indulge you in your childish arguments today, Ibara.”
He raises an eyebrow at this, choosing to ignore the implication that any conversation they shared was only indulgence on Yuzuru’s part. Ibara, despite his hostility towards Yuzuru, is still curious. “Has something happened?”
Yuzuru pauses in his search. Somehow, Ibara knows the other is taking a moment to consider whether he has asked based on pure curiosity or whether he’s wishing to take advantage of whatever predicament Yuzuru has unluckily found himself in. He thinks that it’s probably a mix of both.
The butler hauls a somewhat large bag of ice out of the freezer, shutting it with his knee. He looks at Ibara warily, and says, “The young master has tripped during our practice session. His ankle is starting to swell, so I went to obtain ice to mitigate the pain until medical professionals arrive.”
For some reason, Ibara sours at this. He focuses on the chopping board so Yuzuru won’t be able to see his expression. One of his hands grips the counter.
“Your life truly revolves around that boy. If it wasn’t so entertaining to see you scramble over him and act as his parent, I’d almost find it pitiful.” Ibara raises his head again, putting his most neutral smile forward.
For once, the blank face Yuzuru maintains around him is absent. At first, his stance is starkly similar to the stance he often adopted in encounters from days past in which Ibara would attempt a sneak attack on his instructor and end up pinned on the ground, begrudgingly begging for mercy. But then he eases, and Ibara is reminded that Yuzuru is no longer the boy he once knew.
Yuzuru provides no response, picking the bag of ice up in one hand without struggle. At least his strength has remained intact. He starts walking to the door, and Ibara has already gone back to chopping up the carrots, wanting nothing more than to be rid of Yuzuru’s company.
Suddenly, a buzz comes out of nowhere, halting both their actions. Yuzuru brings his smartphone out of his pocket, scanning the message on the front screen. He breathes a sigh of relief, and though Ibara doesn’t ask, he says, “Eichi-sama had some personnel on standby in the case of his own emergencies, so the young master has already been transported to urgent care.”
Ibara laughs—all this fuss over what was undoubtedly just a twisted ankle? He knows he must sound bitter but before he can stop himself, he spits out, “It certainly must be nice to have everyone at your beck and call. I suppose that’s why Himemiya has no skill, no worth outside of his wealth.”
Yuzuru doesn’t respond to his remarks, and Ibara continues, “It’s ridiculous that you’re wasting your life dedicating yourself to someone else. What a shame, Yuzuru.”
“Are you not doing the same with Nagisa-sama?”
He chuckles at his counter, “Unlike you, my relationship with His Excellency is one of mutual understanding and cooperation, not blind loyalty. I am using him for my own benefit.”
Yuzuru looks uncomfortable, and suddenly, Ibara remembers a fact he had been ignoring since he had watched him disappear into the winter night many years ago. Impulsively, he mutters, “I suppose no one else holds value to you.”
As he watches Yuzuru’s eyes widen, Ibara grimaces, internally yelling at himself for letting that slip out.
The tension between them feels thick enough for Ibara to cut with one of the many knives Shiina has hanging on the wall. Yuzuru sets the bag of ice down, slowly and deliberately, and walks towards him. The frown on his face, deeper than usual, tells Ibara that he may have pushed it too far. He scans the room for an escape, but the exit is behind Yuzuru, forcing him to stay in place. Yuzuru stops in front of him, and Ibara meets him with a pointed look.
Yuzuru’s eyes narrow as Ibara sneers, “Time for the lapdog to show his true colors, huh?”
The other boy leans towards him, and he holds still, refusing to flinch. A second passes. Yuzuru is close—too close, closer than he’s ever been since their days in that miserable camp they both have buried in their unspoken past. And then, Yuzuru is kissing him gently, and Ibara stands unmoving once again. His perception of time seems to stop. He has no idea how to react to this. Ibara, someone who sees every possibility, every opening, is completely and utterly caught off guard.
What’s even more surprising: Yuzuru is kissing him as if he is someone precious, as if he is important to him. His eyes have closed, but Ibara’s are wide open. He sees the little nick on Yuzuru’s cheek, a scar from their days training that only he would know to look for. He sees the beauty mark on the side of his eye, feels his smooth skin and lips; being an idol seems to have softened him in ways he hadn’t thought of previously. But then Ibara is shocked, as this gentle treatment is one that should be directed towards his master, not him.
Yuzuru brings a hand up to his head, tucking some of his hair behind his ear. The action grounds Ibara back to reality, and he blinks once before pushing Yuzuru off him. They look at each other. He is dumbfounded, but Yuzuru’s familiar blank expression has made its way back onto his face. It provides him with no answers, and he supposes he’s the one who is expected to break the silence.
Instead, he grits his teeth and nudges Yuzuru to the side, making his retreat to the door. He opens it with force, and lets it shut with a loud bang.
6.
The interagency meeting had gone on for longer than Ibara would have liked. It wasn’t as if he wasn’t prepared, he had stayed up countless nights before preparing presentations and files to urge the other agencies in Ensemble Square to agree to a couple of his propositions. Normally, he didn’t let the other idols in the room bother him. Almost all of them were as tactful as Ibara, so his usual deceitful methods didn’t work in these meetings. Therefore, he had to rely on pure facts and statistics to sway others to his side.
However, this meeting was especially dragging on. Even when he wasn’t speaking, he could feel Yuzuru’s eyes boring a hole into him. While Ibara didn’t exactly look to run into him before their last interaction, he now went out of his way to avoid Yuzuru. It’s not particularly hard to steer clear of him, with his access to all of Ensemble Square’s CCTV monitors and the secret drones he has outside the premises. He’s completely stopped entering StarPro’s floor. The only reason he’s here today is for the meeting, and he wanted to retreat as soon as possible.
Ibara wasn’t sure what… that exactly was yet. He supposed it was some new form of mental warfare that Yuzuru was engaging in, prevented from taking physical action with him due to his position. But Ibara wasn’t sure he could stomach whatever game Yuzuru was trying to play at.
He can’t leave right as the meeting is over, but once he’s finished his rounds of greeting the important figures in the room and complimenting whoever supported him during it, he makes a beeline for the exit. The Aoi twins look at him with confusion, as he usually notifies them of a CosPro debrief immediately following these meetings.
Ibara doesn’t heed their inquisitive gaze, and hurries down the hallway to the elevator. Just as he’s about to reach it and leave what he’s deemed a warzone, he’s halted by someone grabbing his wrist. When he turns around, he’s greeted with Yuzuru’s typical frown.
“Please stop avoiding me. You aren’t exactly being subtle about it, and people may start to question whether there is an issue between us.”
Ibara scoffs, and tries to tug his wrist out of Yuzuru’s grasp but Yuzuru’s hold tightens. He says, “What will happen if someone looks into both of our pasts? How do you think fans will react if they learn that we spent years training in the military? That you have no parents? What do you think it would do to the images of our respective units?”
The questions fill him with irritation, but Ibara is rational when it comes to most things besides Yuzuru it seems, so he stops struggling. He still can’t find it in himself to meet Yuzuru’s eyes, but he lets Yuzuru tug him down the hallway into an office.
His Eminence is in the room, filing records most likely from the previous meeting away in a cabinet. He looks at the both of them in surprise, and then glances at the hold Yuzuru has on Ibara’s wrist and laughs.
Yuzuru bows slightly, “Eichi-sama, would you kindly exit for a moment? I have something to discuss with Ibara—but I assure you I will prevent him from looking through anything unnecessary.”
“Of course, Yuzuru, I trust you. Let me know when you’re done.” His Eminence grins knowingly, but also unnervingly and moves toward the door. Only when it’s shut again does Yuzuru release Ibara.
Now alone, Ibara tenses up. He crosses his arms, unsure of what will follow. “So, what is it that you want, Instructor?”
Yuzuru looks at him, and sighs. He moves closer, and Ibara suddenly finds it harder to breathe. The butler asks, “Don’t you ever get tired of the act?”
Ibara blinks, not fully able to comprehend what he means. “A little hypocritical for you to say that, Yuzuru.” He remarks, “I may exploit others and lie to them, but at least I’m not deluding myself into a sense of false security.”
Yuzuru’s stare has Ibara shifting his weight. It’s not as if these stares were new, but Ibara has noticed that he does it a lot—whenever the two of them were together, Yuzuru watched him reproachfully with eyes that seemed to be searching. But for what, Ibara didn’t know.
“You believe I’ve thrown my happiness away for a fallacious one.”
Ibara laughs sarcastically at this statement. “Have you not?”
Yuzuru leans towards him, “I am satisfied with the life I have decided to live.”
“Was it really a choice?” Ibara bites back.
For a while, there are no words spoken between them. Ibara wonders if this will be a repeat of their last encounter, if he can make his escape now. But then Yuzuru asks another question: “Why do you think I kissed you?”
It leaves Ibara at a loss. Staring hard at the ground, he tries to think of a proper answer, but he has nothing. When he brings his head up, he’s stunned by the sadness he finds in Yuzuru’s eyes.
Yuzuru brings a hand to Ibara’s cheek, “I don’t know what perception you have of me, but I am not unfeeling, and I know you aren’t either.” Ibara flinches. “I have chosen to love the young master of my own accord. I may have thought he was my only purpose for being alive once, but that is no longer the case.”
“I care about a lot of people, besides the young master.” Yuzuru removes Ibara’s glasses, and sets them down on the desk behind him. “I cherish the members of fine, as you treasure Hiyori-sama, Sazanami-sama, and Nagisa-sama. I cherish my peers both from my agency and from Yumenosaki. And I cherish you, regrettably.”
“I also have a feeling that underneath the insults you hurl at me, you cherish me as well.”
Ibara’s face heats up. He feels his bottom lip tremble, and then Yuzuru’s arms are wrapped around him, and he is clutching the back of his shirt as Yuzuru runs one hand through his hair soothingly. Ibara can’t remember a time when he was ever touched like this, when he was ever enveloped with such warmth.
Yuzuru speaks again, “Before I met you again last year, I’d often wonder what had happened to you. Whether you remained at the camp, or whether you had finally escaped that rotten place. I was quite shocked when I learned you were aspiring to be an idol, as I am now.”
Ibara is overwhelmed, but he somehow manages a response, “I’d known you were training to be an idol at Yumenosaki, even when we reunited. I had infiltrated the school in the spring, and I saw your name on the enrollment list.”
“Of course you did.” Yuzuru chuckles.
Perhaps Yuzuru wasn’t the only one who had changed. He buries his head into the crook of Yuzuru’s neck, and asks quietly, “You won’t leave this time?”
Yuzuru separates from him, and greets him with a serene smile, one that Ibara had believed was reserved for anyone but him. “I think you will be seeing more of me than you want, from now on.”
When Yuzuru slides in and their mouths meet, fumbling against each other, Ibara doesn’t nudge him off. He remembers what he had told Yuzuru, years earlier; that he wanted to get his hands on something he’d find himself spending his whole life treasuring. Maybe, he was finally on the path to obtaining it.