Chapter Text
"Have you seen (Y/N), lately?" I asked, trying to act nonchalant about it. Remus was reading in the middle of the living room, while Sirius was making himself a coffee.
"Oh, you remembered your other best friend, now that you are dumped?" Sirius sneered at me, not even bothering to look up from what he was doing.
"I am just asking if you have seen her Padfoot, I don't need the sass."
"She didn't need you ignoring her for more than three years, when she was just asking for your friendship, too." Remus supplied.
"What are your guys' problem with me?" I asked, annoyed at their jerkiness. I knew what their problem was with me. After I started dating Lily four years ago, me and (Y/N) fell away from each other. Well, more like I started ignoring her and giving her cold shoulder, afraid the presence of another female would affect my relationship with Lily. Afraid she would dump me because (Y/N) was this important for me. Well, she still dumped me, and I lost (Y/N). I wanted to make amends for every second I hurt her last two years, but, I couldn't find her. And what was strange was that not being able to find and talk with (Y/N) hurt more than Lily leaving me.
"Look, Prongs, I know now that you are alone your first reaction is to run to (Y/N), who dealt with your bullshit most of her life, without even complaining. But you pushed her away; you pushed her out of your life. And she has her own life now," Remus said.
"Have you or haven't you seen her?"
"We haven't," Sirius said, harshly, "because thanks to you, she felt like she would be stealing us from you and stopped talking with us, saying it was for the best. Considering we were her friend group and she didn't have any other close friends, she was left alone, no matter how hard we tried. And now she has to live a life she never wanted to, but couldn't save herself from, because she was bloody alone,"
"Pads!" Remus warned, cutting him off.
"What do you mean a life she never wanted?" I asked, panic rising in my chest. What did they do to (Y/N), who did what to her?
"Arranged marriage," Sirius said, "with Dolohov."
"Dolohov is a Death Eater!" I said. (Y/N) could not get married to Dolohov, (Y/N) could not get married in general.
"Perfect for her bloody parents," Sirius scoffed, "And thanks to you she had no escape, she had to say yes."
"You don't know that, she always had an escape, she could come to..."
"You? For you to slam the bloody door on her face? I would be passing that option, too."
"When is the wedding?" I asked.
"Prongs, whatever you are thinking, don't. You hurt her enough; she is in enough pain, don't do anything that will hurt and endanger her even further," Remus explained calmly.
"What do you mean, endanger her?" I asked. The silence was deafening. I could see in my peripheral how hard Sirius was squeezing the counter, how white his knuckles were from it. And Remus looked lost, his eyes fixed on some point on the wall.
"Remus! Sirius!" I said.
"He abuses her," Sirius whispered, voice colder than ice.
"He what?"
"He hits her," he repeated, his cold grey eyes meeting mine for the first time since the topic became (Y/N), "Regulus wrote me, the first time the engagement was decided. Even my bloody ex-Death Eater brother was worried for her, while you were busy, sogging another girl, ignoring the one who was with you since you were bloody born. I went to her. I wanted to save her, hell I even told her I would marry her if it meant she would be free from that arse. She was bruised, all over, her lip split, still bleeding. And it wasn't even the worst part; the worst was her eyes—the look she had like she'd given up. She didn't even consider getting out; she didn't want to. She was done. The girl is barely 24, and she already gave up on her own life." I couldn't believe what I was hearing, but I could feel the tears burning my eyes. (Y/N) was trapped in an engagement she didn't want, and the arsehole of a man she had to call fiance was hurting her. And I didn't even know about it, my bloody best friend, who met her because she was my best friend, was there to try and save her. He was the one who asked her to marry him, to save her, he was the one who ran to her the moment he heard she was in danger. And I was the reason she lost hope. I was the reason she was alone.
"Where is she?"
"Leave her James," Remus said firmly, "we tried, we have been trying for weeks now. Dolohov hurts her even more, whenever one of us visit, the next time she is bleeding more, she is beaten more. We had to stop. We had to stop because Merlin only knows if she would be alive if we pushed a little more. Dolohov is cruel, and since the was is over since they lost, he takes it all on her. She doesn't want to escape, because thanks to you, she is scared to be abandoned once more if she runs. I am done, trying to act like she will be okay, she won't, she will probably end up dead because Dolohov will go too hard, or she won't be able to do it anymore and will hurt yourself. And I am begging you, stop giving her false hope, as if you won't forget her the moment another Lily will catch your eye. You are my brother James. You'll always be, but I won't be able to forgive you if her death is caused because of you."
"But, she is being hurt," I whispered, not being able to stop the shake of my hands, or the feeling of betrayal I felt that Remus and Sirius let (Y/N) go, just like I did for the last four years.
"She was being hurt for four years," Sirius scoffed, "Just the last six months it also became physical."
He left with those words, Remus gave out a sigh after his boyfriend's departure.
"How do I fix this?" I said, sitting next to him, pulling on the roots of my hair. Hating the way I left her, hating even the thought I imagined the fear she was constantly living in, the pain, the loneliness.
"You can't. It is too late. And even if it wasn't, I am not sure we would've let you," he said honestly.
"What?"
"She loved you, James. She loved you more than she did herself. And she never expected anything from you. She was content with your friendship. She was content with being there for you, hoping one day you'd be there for her, too. But the moment Lily gave you a part of her attention, you tossed her away as if she was some kind of a toy, you were done playing with. She spent the first 17 years of her life for you, being there for you, being your best friend, and she was left all alone the moment you got yourself a girlfriend. And Lily didn't even ask you to do that, Lily liked (Y/N), she enjoyed her friendship. You cast her away with no reason and acted like she did not exist. You can't ask her to return back to be your life support the moment you are without a girlfriend. Sirius is right, you get her back and what is next? What will you do the moment you'll get a new girlfriend? Is she to find herself a new life, because you are attracted to a new girl? Once is enough, she was hurt by you enough."
"She is in physical danger!"
"You haven't seen her James, you are thinking about the girl who you abandoned when she was 17. She has changed; she was hurt too many times and too much to resist the change. She is depressed; she doesn't have the life to live; she doesn't have the will to even think of a future she would want. Sirius doesn't know this, but (Y/N) wrote her will last month. She is just waiting for her death. She gave up."
"She can't give up," I sobbed, "Remus, no, I have to save her. Let's kidnap her; she still can have a life. She can't die."
"It is too late," Remus said, looking away.
"I will fight Dolohov then. I will kill him if it is needed to."
"It is not just about Dolohov anymore," he breathed.
"What?"
"(Y/N) is pregnant, James. Dolohov forced himself on her. She is three months pregnant, that's why she wrote her will. She doesn't expect to survive her childbirth."
"No," I sobbed, realising the severeness of the situation. She carried the heir of the Dolohov family, even if Antonin dies, even if his whole family dies, sacred 28 won't give up that child. They are getting married in two months. We lost her. It is over," he said, voice hoarse with grief. It was not over. I was going to save her even if it would cost my own life.
***
I knew where she lived, of course, I knew. There were many regrets in my life, the biggest being letting her go. But, I had my reasons, even though it didn't justify what I did to her, how much pain it caused her. I hurt her, trying not to hurt myself. But looking at every action I did, every step I took last years, I wish I would have chosen to hurt myself rather than her. She was being abused. She got raped, Merlin knows what kind of pains she had to endure with the monster of a man Dolohov was. I was sitting on a bench in the park, having a clear view of her house. I could see her some times in the garden. The first time I saw, the first time I saw her after five years. Merlin, my heartbeat a lot faster, breaking at the same time. My darling girl. She was wearing a black dress, hugging her curvaceous body. Her belly not prominent yet. She looked sad. She looked like a melancholic painting. Sad, sorrowful but beautiful. Gorgeous even. Remus was right; the woman in the garden was not the girl I treasured in depths of my mind. The girl I remembered was full of energy, happiness, life. And the woman, I have hurt for years now, was everything opposite of that. I watched her as she sat in an old chair in the garden, looked at the flowers surrounding her, with dull eyes, and tight lips. What have I done? I kept asking myself, over and over again. The sombre peace of the woman was interrupted as her fiance, bloody Dolohov, got out of the house. He had a scowl written all over his sharp feature. He made his way to her, way taller than her. He said something to her, his eyes cold and piercing. His features were harsh. The conversation did not look pleasant, but she answered in a calm, emotionless manner, and suddenly Dolohov grabbed her arm, squeezing it with no remorse, a second of pain went through her beautiful face, but it returned to its neutral state in few. Dolohov was dragging her up the stairs of the house's entrance, and she didn't even fight. She let him, pull and push her, she let him hurt her. I could feel my nails breaking the skin of my palms, drawing blood as I held myself from going there. Around 15 minutes later she was back, her hair dishevelled, blood running down the corner of her brow, her jaw had marks of fingers from where the arsehole probably grabbed her. I could see how she was favouring one arm, careful not to move it as she made her way back to her chair. But what hurt, was not the clear evidence of physical abuse she had to endure a couple of minutes ago as I sat several feet away, but the same neutral expression she carried in her face, the dullness of her eyes. My (Y/N) was gone, and I was one of the killers who took her chance to live.
I couldn't stop after that. I couldn't stop stalking her house. With a hope to see a moment of expression change, to be the excuse for me to intervene, a step she would take towards the street, that would show she wanted to run away, and I would help her get away from this hell, she had to call house. But it never happened. It had been a month now, and her belly now had a slight difference in size and shape, holding a much rounder position. It never stopped Dolohov, though. He kept hurting her every day, sometimes multiple times a day. And she always returned to sit on that chair and watch those flowers with dull eyes, and blood dripping down her face.
"Give up already," I heard. Sirius was standing right next to me, avoiding to look at the house, probably very aware of the scene he would see. Probably tired and defeated of the scene he would have to see.
"I can't," I whispered.
"You gave up on her for five years, what changed now? Go find yourself a new bird, certainly; she wouldn't matter to you anymore."
"She will always matter," I said.
"You didn't blink an eye when you cast her away from your life, Potter. Stop acting as if you care, because you learned the consequences of your actions. It is guilt; it is not caring. It is the heaviness of being an arsehole and taking a life."
"She is not dead," I said.
"Does she look living to you?" he asked. And the first time since the beginning of this conversation, I lifted my head to meet his eyes. I have never seen Sirius looking more in pain in my whole life, even the night he escaped his parents' house.
"I..."
"I can't, James. I can understand everything. I can forgive everything you did and would do, but, this. That girl there used to be our best friend, used to be your best friend. And now, she is sitting there. Her jaw bone probably cracked, her lip split from Merlin knows how many points, her shoulder either dislocated or worse, broken—carrying a spawn of her rapist. And she doesn't even shed a tear. She probably ran out of them months ago. And I know, now that you have free time, you remembered all the good times you spent with her and decided to run to your comfort blanket. But let the girl die in peace, once in your life, stop being selfish."
"I was in love with her," I whispered, "I still am."
"Sod off, Potter," Sirius hissed, "I am done with your shit, I am bloody done with you. Stop trying to make everything about your bloody damn arse. She is being abused, raped and hurt on a daily basis. And you are trying to still, make it your sob story. You are not the bloody victim in this, Potter; you are the killer. When she dies, and like it or not, we both know she doesn't have much left, not in this environment, not with that man. When she dies, the blood will not be on Dolohov's hands; it will be on yours. Put any woman or man with Dolohov, the result won't change, but you are the one who caused (Y/N) to be in this position. You are the reason why she is the one who gets Dolohov's hits. You are the reason she will die in pain, without living a day of happiness in her adult life."
***
Sirius wasn't talking to me; he wasn't talking to anyone except Remus. I still watched (Y/N) from the park every day. Watching her pregnancy progress, watching her get hurt, watching the scars and bruises cover more and more of her skin. And slowly, the idea of death started to cover my mind, too. Sirius was right, (Y/N) didn't have much to live, and I didn't see even a shadow of a smile on her lips all these weeks. At night the image of her dead body, laying in the pool of her own blood, the eyes never changed. Her beautiful (E/C) eyes, once filled with life and joy, dull and lifeless, like every day of her current life.
"Don't go there, Prongs," Remus whispered, it was two days after the full moon, he looked drained.
"I have to."
"No. No, you don't. I know what Sirius said, I know he is right but, going there every day, watching her getting hurt, watching her and not being able to do anything isn't doing good for anyone. Neither you, her or anybody else."
"I can't leave her."
"You already did, James."
"She could die," I whispered.
"She will die," he corrected, "She will die, and you have to accept that. You have to accept it because there is no other way. Do you think it was easy for me? For Sirius? We have been dealing with this for the last five years. We have been trying to hold onto her for years, to keep her afloat. But, she couldn't, not with the fact that her best friend, the boy who she loved, abandoned her with no reason, no explanation a week after he got a girlfriend. The engagement was harder to accept, because even before it was official, all three of us, we knew this was what was going to happen. We knew she would end up dead, before even seeing her 30s or even late 20s. And we had to live with that. You'll have to, too."
"It is not the same."
"Yes, we were not the one who pushed her into this situation. We are not the ones who caused her death."
"I love her Remus."
"No, you don't. You can't. If you love her and loved her all this time if she is in this place because you loved her all along. That is messed up James. No."
"I was in love with her since 5th grade."
"What the bloody hell are you twaddling about? You were in love with Lily. You annoyed everyone with it. You hurt her with it."
"I was in love with (Y/N). I always loved her but barely understood what it meant, what it means, only later. But I was scared, I was terrified, we both have been so young, and the feelings I felt for her, the things she made me think, I couldn't handle it. And Lily, Lily was a beautiful, nice girl, who I could easily love. And I did, I loved Lily, part of me still does. But it never was as intense as what I felt towards (Y/N), so I dated her. Because I couldn't handle the thought of having (Y/N) and it not being forever. I knew she was, still is the love of my life."
"Get out," Remus hissed, "take your shit and leave this bloody house. And don't ever, do you hear me, ever come back."
"Remus I,"
"No. I won't live with the man who was too scared of his emotions and caused all this to her. I don't ever want to see you again. You disgust me."
***
I was staying in the Leaky Cauldron, both Sirius and Remus have stopped speaking with me. I was still visiting her house every day; she was around seven months pregnant now. Even more sad and drained than usual. I was watching the most important woman in my life, melting away.
Today, I felt even more uneasy than any other day I had, watching her getting hurt. Something was wrong, but she looked the same as she did every day of the past weeks. Sad, beaten, pregnant, beautiful. But my chest hurt, I couldn't sit still, my leg was bouncing, my hands shaking. Something was happening. And Dolohov emerged, suddenly, grabbing her, pulling her inside, like every other day. But minutes later, something I could never imagine happened, I wasn't even looking to the second floor of the house, focused on the entrance door, from where she would emerge from. It was a movement; the reflection of light changed as a window opened harshly. And suddenly (Y/N) was pushed out of the window, making contact with the ground in a blink of an eye. I apparated to the house, and Dolohov just smiled at me from the window upstairs.
"I am done with the whore. I found a better one, kill the bastard if it isn't dead yet," was the last thing I head as I apparated to the hospital with her in my arms.
***
The baby was gone, as expected, (Y/N) was barely alive. I haven't left her side since she was out of the surgery. Laying on her hospital bed, unmoving, almost like a corpse. I made sure Ministry knew, I alerted Dumbledore, I alerted everyone who could help, giving them my memories for the Pensieve. I knew Dolohov was sent to Azkaban, right next to Pettigrew. I owled Sirius and Remus, too. But, by the time it was taking them to visit, it was clear they didn't read it, probably burned it as soon as the owl dropped it by the window. So I wrote to them every day. They had to read it at some point, didn't they? I would have gone to their house, our house, but I couldn't leave her. Now that she was next to me, I wasn't going to leave; even if she kicked me out, I would stay around, I would make sure she was okay, she was alright. I caressed her soft hair, as she rested, restored her strength, I talked with her, even though she probably couldn't hear me. I would hold onto her small hand, as I slept on the chair next to her bed. The broken bones, her ribs, her spine were fixed with a spell, her torn flesh stitched together, her bruises fading every passing they.
"You look bloody gorgeous, you know," I whispered, caressing the soft skin under her chin, following the line of her jaw bone. Thumb brushing the corner of her mouth. "I know you probably feel like death itself right now, but you are bloody beautiful. Always were. Even coming back from the brink of death, you are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. I owe you so many explanations. So many apologies. I owe you so much, darling. I love you so much. We need to talk about so many things. I just need you to wake up for me, my love. I just need you to wake up and smile at me. I need you to look at me with those gorgeous eyes."
I rested my forehead on her knuckles, I pressed a kiss to her wrist, enjoying the heat of her skin, the softness against my lips. Her touch always healed me. Her touch made every headache go away. Her hugs would make me forget every problem I had. And I did this to her. I did this. I hurt her. I caressed her knuckles with the tips of my fingers.
"You always had soft hands," I said, "Not the plumpness," I laughed, imagining her answering ' I am fat?', "The skin. You always had the softest skin. Softest hair, softest voice, warmest hugs. I miss you so much, darling. And it is all my fault, but I miss you so bloody much. So bloody much, sweet girl. The most, the most I miss your smile, how it always made my heart miss a beat. It has been so long since I have seen you smile since I have heard your honey laugh."
I pressed a kiss on top of her head, getting up to get myself some coffee. She loved coffee. She loved its smell; maybe it would motivate her to open those pretty eyes. And I hadn't sleep in some time now. I needed the caffeine kick.
As I was paying for the coffee, I noticed two familiar heads, a blonde one and a dark curly one. They were asking for (Y/N), and not caring about the reaction I was to get.
"Pads, Moony!" I said, and they turned to face me. Remus had a soft look in his eyes, an understanding look, while Sirius held a harder look. "She is in room 2187."
"And what are you doing here? Liked one of the nurses?" Sirius hissed.
"I am here for (Y/N)," I said, it wouldn't be easy to make Sirius forgive me, (Y/N) was his sister in his mind. He wouldn't forgive or forget how much I hurt the girl.
"How long do you plan to stay? Until the next redhead comes to your life?"
"Sirius, let's focus on (Y/N/N), now," Remus said, linking his fingers with his boyfriend's.
"I am focusing on (Y/N/N). I don't want her to wake up to the false hopes that he will stay."
"I love her Sirius," I whispered. Both men tensed. Remus stopped Sirius before he could speak, by squeezing his hand.
"How is she?" Remus asked, changing the topic.
"She lost the baby. That bastard, he pushed her from the window, the second floor. She fell face first, the baby didn't even have the chance. All of her ribs were either broken or cracked. Her spine was damaged, her collarbones too. Her face messed up, nose, left browbone, part of her jaw broken, skull cracked. Many of her internal organs damaged. They fixed everything. She still has some scars and bruises; time will heal. She didn't wake up yet; healers said she needs to recover fully to wake up. Not just the injuries and scars, but her flesh needs to recover from the abuse. She will wake up when she is ready."
"He pushed her?" Sirius hissed.
"He did. The knob was laughing after he did it, he even said 'I am done with the whore. I found a better one, kill the bastard if it isn't dead yet.' when he saw me. He didn't even bother come downstairs. He watched her bleed on the garden floor."
"Fucking bastard!" Remus muttered. I took them to her room. She still was sleeping like a princess.
"Hi (Y/N/N)," I smiled, rubbing her shoulder, "Look who came to visit?"
Sirius and Remus sat next to her, one on her left one on her right. Remus resting a hand on her knee, rubbing her knee cap. Sirius sat right next to her middle, holding her smaller hand on his, pressing a long kiss to her palm.
"Hello, beautiful," he whispered, his long locks were hiding his eyes, but we all knew he was crying. (Y/N) was the first person he came out to, she was the sibling he gained when he lost Regulus. She was with him in his every step, "I am so angry at you, I am so, so mad at you." his cheek was resting on her hand, "I am also so man at myself, and these two pricks. We should have been better, Doudou. We shouldn't have let you do this to yourself, just because Potter is an arsehole, you shouldn't have suffered. You shouldn't have lost a baby, darling."
Sirius didn't let her go until the visiting hours were over. Remus just watched his boyfriend fall apart, knowing neither me nor him would be able to separate him from the sleeping girl. Sirius brushed her hair with his fingers, hands hovering over the darker marks covering her bruised skin. Sirius was drained, when Remus told him it was time to go home, it wasn't easy, to see the girl we all loved in different ways, beaten, bruised, her body suffering from broken bones, a miscarriage, months of abuse.
"Are you staying?" Remus asked, we both watching Sirius as he stood a few steps away from us in the middle of the corridor. His hands tucked in his pockets, his eyes stormy and dull, focused on some far point.
"I am," I nodded, "I don't want her to wake up alone, after what she went through."
"Are you sure about this, James?" he asked, "She can't take another heartbreak from you. If there is even a little bit of possibility that you'd leave her, please don't. We can take care of her. We can make sure she is okay. But, if you are going to be involved with her, please make sure you'll stay."
***
It was my new normal now, to talk to her, read to her, hold her hand as I slept in that godawful chair, resting my head on her plush arm. The scars and marks were fading, the discolouration almost gone. Her beautiful face was now clearer.
"I know I never told you. I never had the guts, really," I whispered, caressing her round cheek, following the line of her cheekbone down to her jawbone, "I was in love with you, I still am. And I think I always will be in love with you. I made this whole thing a mess. I caused so much pain for you. But you need to know, darling. There wasn't a moment in my life when I didn't love you. Your place here," I whispered, pressing her cool hand right on top of my heart, "Your place here, was always solid. But I was a coward, can't tell if I am not a coward right now. If you weren't hurt, if you hadn't got this much hurt, Merlin knows if I could ever confess. Even right now, it is easy to confess because you are sleeping. Merlin knows I will start sobbing the moment you open those pretty eyes. I will break apart. I need to explain everything to you, Lily, especially. She liked you, you know. She wanted to be friends with you, have you in her life, who wouldn't? But I couldn't let that happen. I couldn't have you that close and love Lily. The things I felt for you, I still feel for you, it is like sun, hot, burning, non-ignorable. And with Lily, it was easy. I loved her, not the way I loved you. I thought I could fall in love with her, but in every moment I spent with her, in the back of my mind I couldn't stop imagining it would feel to live that with you. How beautiful you'd look every morning, how sweet you'd taste, how much I could love you, every second of every day. But it was too much (Y/N/N), the love I felt for you, it felt like it was burning me, destroying me. And I was just 16, what did I know, how could I know you are the one for me. How could I dare to assume that you'd want to spend your life with me?" I took a deep breath, pressing a kiss to her forehead, "I am rambling, aren't I? I am rambling like always. I am dumb. But you already know that, darling."
I brushed the locks of hair falling onto her forehead. I kissed her knuckles. "I won't leave you, ever again, darling. I will never leave you again. I will protect you from everything, I promise."
***
She didn't wake up to me, no, she woke up to Sirius and I couldn't deny the rage and jealousy, that rose from deep inside me. She woke up, but she didn't talk. Sirius was right by her side, as healers checked everything, explained everything. But she didn't even utter a word. She never made eye contact with any of us. Her eyes fixed on her hands and nowhere else. She was clear to be taken home, and I was moving back with Remus and Sirius. We had a free room, Sirius' old room, now that he stayed in Remus' room.
"Has she said anything to you?" I asked, one morning, Sirius was upstairs with (Y/N), helping her with her breakfast and Remus and I were having the first coffee of our day.
"No," he sighed, "She is not getting better. She is closing off even more if that is possible."
"Does she talk with Sirius?" Sirius was still angry at me, and we barely talked.
"Not that I know of," he shook his hand, "From what I have seen, it is mostly Sirius who is talking to her. But she reacts to him like she doesn't to you or me. She holds his hand. She curls into him. When I try to hold her hand, it is flat in mine. She doesn't grip back; she doesn't react."
"She always liked Sirius," I scoffed.
"Oh, Merlin, James. Sirius is the gayest person I know, trust me, I am dating the lad."
"It is not about that."
"It is about you being jealous of the connection Sirius and (Y/N) have."
"I was her best friend."
"And you were the one who left her for the first girlfriend you ever found. And Sirius was her best friend too. And, he actually tried to stay her best friends for years after you sent her away."
"What about you? Why is she not responding that well to you?"
"I am not as affectionate as him, Prongs. Sirius is good with his emotions. It is easy for him to show his love. I am much conservative in that case. And in cases of post-trauma, it is easier for the victim to bond with one person rather than multiple."
"Stop calling her the victim."
"She has been abused for months and almost killed after being pushed off a window. She is the victim in this case."
"What will we do, Moony? How can we make things better for her?"
"We will leave things to Sirius, right now. I know it is hard for you James, you are facing the emotions you have been suppressing for years, but it is about making (Y/N) better, giving you your happy ending will have to wait."
***
I was listening to her and Sirius. I could see from the crack, how she was curled into his chest, Sirius resting an arm around her soft body, her face gently tucked into his neck, their hair mixed where his cheek was resting on top of her head. She was playing with his slender fingers, as Sirius was talking to her about his day. She didn't reply verbally, but she would nod at him, or curl further into him.
"I will make you smile, Doudou, I promise," he whispered, "We will be like we used to be. You'll be happy. I will make sure you are."