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“what are you buying now?”
“hmm? nothing.”
joshua approaches his desk and looks over his shoulder. “how to play dungeons and dragons?” he asks, quoting the title of the website pulled up in seokmin’s web browser. “nerds aren’t usually your type, seok.”
which, fair. he doesn’t bring guys home often, but they’ve lived together for four years. he knows seokmin’s type.
“okay, yeah,” seokmin whines, “but this one is hot.”
joshua waits a beat before he says, “you know, i could teach you. it's easier to learn by doing it.”
seokmin spins in his chair to look up at his roommate, scrutinizing his expression carefully. it seems sincere enough. incredible. “not to be rude, but are you going to explain how you know how to play?”
“used to play with church friends. we thought it was a rebellious activity, at the time.”
“you’re kidding.”
“i’m most definitely not kidding. do you want me to teach you or not?”
seokmin thinks about it. it's not that he doesn't trust joshua, but he can't mess this up because wonwoo is really hot. he rides a motorcycle. to his dungeons and dragons meetups, sure, but still. in that context, he supposes he shouldn't be surprised joshua knows how to play. after all, he drives a very boring car and has winnie the pooh plushies in his room. peak nerd, despite his addiction to gym equipment, so he says, “really? yeah, that would be cool.”
“you free tomorrow night?”
“i can be!” soonyoung shouldn't mind him canceling their movie plans — this is practically an emergency.
“okay, it's a date.”
“thanks, joshy,” he chirps, mostly to ruffle his roommate's feathers.
joshua wrinkles his nose. “i'm making your character a damsel in distress, solely as punishment for that.”
seokmin knows he does not enjoy being called “joshy”, and he risks getting punched in the arm every time he says it, but the bunny face.
worth it.
⛰️⛰️⛰️
“this is your character sheet. we'll do something simple so you can figure out how rolls and everything work,” joshua tells him, sliding a piece of paper full of words and numbers across their kitchen table. “some people use maps, but i didn't feel like drawing one for this. i'll explain the setting as the dungeon master before you have to do anything as a character.”
seokmin nods, half his attention on the character sheet in front of him. he realizes, with a mixture of amusement and horror, that joshua has done exactly what he threatened: his character is a human woman with pitiful stats and only a rusted dagger as a weapon.
after providing a basic overview of the stats and situations they apply to, he explains that seokmin is in a forest with a babbling brook nearby and a mountain visible in the distance, and then waits for seokmin to react.
“um, i guess i want to head to the mountain?”
he tilts his head to the side. “that's pretty vague. this is all about imagination.”
“fine, i want to go look at the brook. maybe there's an actual path to the mountain on the other side.”
“how?”
seokmin blinks at him. “with my legs?”
“no, i mean are you skipping over and humming or sneaking or what? how are you approaching?”
“does that matter?”
joshua pinches the bridge of his nose. “no, i guess not. so you walk towards the sound of the babbling brook. the area you approach has a line of rocks that form a kind of bridge across the brook, and you see a path on the other side,” he says, then looks to seokmin again.
“okay, that’s good, right? so i want to get to the path,” seokmin mutters, then a little more confidently, “i cross the rocks.”
“okay, great. that requires a skill check,” joshua explains, moving a die across the table. “you roll the die, and add the bonus right here. you need a ten or higher to make it without falling in.”
“falling in?” seokmin is horrified.
joshua rolls his eyes. “yes, roll the die.”
seokmin breathes a sigh of relief when he gets a fifteen.
“the rocks are dry and flat, and you make it across the brook without any problems. on the other side, you hear rustling in the trees.”
seokmin widens his eyes. “rustling! what do i do?”
“all you have is a shitty dagger, so i think you can either hide or run.”
“hide! i want to hide. is there anywhere to hide?” seokmin panics.
joshua talks him through a few more steps and rolls for different skill checks. he eventually makes it to a hiding spot, just as a terrifying skeleton man in armor comes down the path on an armored horse.
it’s scary. why didn’t the website tell him the game was scary?
“the skeleton knight passes by without incident, but you’re grabbed from behind by a very large frankenstein-looking monster. he lifts you into the air, says” — he imitates a deep, monster-y voice — “‘master will like you!’, and starts carrying you away towards the mountain.”
“WHAT?!” seokmin yells, horrified again. “you’re being so mean!”
joshua just laughs at him. throws his head back and laughs in the weirdly squeaky way he sometimes does, like he’s having the best damn time. seokmin pouts, then tries to think. “okay, so i want to try to break free!”
“you grab at the monster’s arms and try to kick yourself free! roll for strength.”
seokmin does. he gets a three. “fuck.”
joshua smirks. “you fail to break free. the monster brings you to a hidden entrance in the mountain, and carries you into a well-lit cave. he deposits you in a large, metal cage inside a cavern, then leaves.”
seokmin sighs. he looks over his character sheet and gasps when he gets an idea. “i have a lot of dexterity! i try to pick the lock!” he rolls the die without waiting for joshua to tell him to.
“mm, ten. you try to pick the lock from inside the cage, but a very short man appears. he’s wearing goggles on the top of his head, long gloves, and a pristine, white lab coat. he clicks his tongue at you as he approaches.” joshua changes his voice again, to something higher-pitched with a ridiculous accent to speak as the new character. “‘ohoho, scarface did well! welcome to my secret lair!’”
“secret lair!” seokmin repeats.
“yes. what do you want to do?”
“umm, ask why i’m here?”
“you ask why you’re in this place, locked in a cage. the mad scientist ignores you, just looks at you with his head tilted to the side. after a moment, he says, ‘i’m not going to hurt you, but i haven’t had a friend here in ages. please don’t run away,’ and unlocks the cage.”
seokmin was sure he was going to be butchered and eaten or something, so this is a curveball, but he also kind of doesn’t want it to end, so he’s not exactly upset. “okay. i won’t run.”
joshua looks surprised at that, but continues. “he grabs your hand and leads you out of the room, down a hallway, and into what looks like his lab. it’s full of beakers bubbling with colored liquids and shelves upon shelves of ingredients like plants and animal fur. in the corner is a horse stall.”
“INSIDE THE MOUNTAIN?”
“yes. what don’t you understand about ‘secret lair’? i know you’ve watched superhero movies,” joshua says, smirking at him again.
seokmin sighs. “fine. i… want to look in the stall?”
“the mad scientist excitedly leads you to the horse stall, and opens it. inside is a creature. it looks like a pony from the front—”
“can i escape on it?” seokmin interrupts.
joshua laughs again. “— but it turns and the back looks like a monkey. the mad scientist looks up at you expectantly. ‘i made this for you. do you like it?’”
seokmin is, once again, absolutely horrified, but completely enraptured. still, he imagines what a half-pony, half-monkey would look like and snorts.
they go back and forth a few more times. seokmin fails another skill check and can't escape. the mad scientist, still holding his character's hand, brings him back to the cage and locks him in. he fails to pick the lock. the mad scientist beckons him over and, because he's curious, he agrees. the guy runs a hand over his head, petting him.
according to joshua.
who looks at his watch, crosses his hands into a t shape, and pulls seokmin entirely out of the fantasy world when he asks, “pizza?”
he straightens in his chair, realizing he’s been hunched forward in anticipation and excitement the whole time. he hasn’t thought about wonwoo or his motorcycle or his muscle tees once.
“yeah, pizza sounds good,” he murmurs.
“we can go back to it after, but i’m starving.”
“really? okay. pepperoni, please.”
joshua nods, and reaches across the table to pat his hand before getting up to find his phone.
⛰️⛰️⛰️
it doesn’t take long for the food to be delivered — pizza and chicken and a bottle of coke to share — but it’s long enough for seokmin to wonder if something weird is going on. is dungeons and dragons supposed to be romantic? do people create weird porn story versions to roleplay? his character is locked in a dungeon. but then again, the mad scientist is very nice. he made a present and everything, even if it was a monster. what happens if he plays along? maybe the scientist will let his character go? there’s only one way to find out.
after their food break, they get back into the game.
“i sigh, and tip my head against his hand.”
joshua looks stunned for a brief moment, then clears his throat. “roll for luck.”
“what? why?”
“just do it,” he says, so seokmin does. joshua raises his eyebrows, surprised. “twenty. okay. the scientist pulls away and unlocks the cage. he grabs your hand again and leads you back out of the room. he opens a door at the end of the hall and reveals a bedroom. ‘the stone floor is very hard. you can sleep in here.’”
“you trust me to not try to escape?”
“‘i have so many henchmen they would easily find you again, dear. i can give you everything you want, just look around!’” joshua says, in character.
seokmin’s brain shuts down, or reboots, he doesn’t really know. he shakes his head and says, “what?”
joshua looks down at his hands on the table, like he’s nervous. “‘you’re the prettiest one scarface has ever brought me. i want you to stay here, with me.’” he looks up, hair falling in his eyes, and bites the inside of his cheek.
and look, a lot of their friends treat him like he’s just the bubbly guy and maybe not very smart, but he just likes being happy, okay? it’s much less stressful than worrying about everything all the time. he does worry, though, and he’s not dumb, and this— cogs turn and click in his head. it sounds like his roommate is confessing.
“are you confessing right now?” he blurts, then mentally smacks himself on the forehead.
it… wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world. he can’t say he hasn’t thought about it, back when they first moved in together, but it was fleeting. joshua was there, day in and day out, and has talked seokmin through a handful of relationships and a few terrible breakups. he sees joshua drink directly from the orange juice carton and then put it back in the fridge on a regular basis. he’s a friend.
except.
no one makes him laugh as hard as joshua does, and they cuddle when they watch movies, and eat dinner together like five times a week. they share clothes, mostly because seokmin finds separating the laundry tiresome, so he never bothers when it’s his turn to do it, but his roommate has never complained.
he also can’t hide his emotions to save his life, at least not from seokmin, and he looks a little shocked at the question. very deer-in-the-headlights. bunny-in-the-headlights?
“oh my god, you are. joshua hong has a crush on me,” he teases.
joshua scowls at him and pushes his chair back from the table. “look, we don’t have to… just pretend this never happened. i think you can probably manage to play with wonwoo without looking like a complete idiot,” he says meekly, then tries to stalk off to his room.
and sure, he could, but he doesn't really want to.
seokmin grabs his hand as he passes to stop him, standing so they’re on even ground. “i didn’t think about wonwoo the whole time. i think…” he trails off, because joshua licks his lips, and it’s suddenly very distracting. his brain shuts off again, he raises a palm against the side of his roommate’s face, and he kisses him.
it’s only a peck, or only meant to be, but joshua whines deep from his chest and chases him when he pulls away, locking his fingers together behind seokmin’s back.
so this is happening, he thinks. and it’s nice? like, wow. he’s overheard enough to suspect the guy was good in bed, but wow. it’s a pretty reserved kiss, as first kisses go, but he can already tell what he’s in for if they were to give a relationship a go.
joshua breaks away first and presses his lips together, but his cheeks are a little pink. very cute. “you really are the prettiest person the scarface-that-is-life has ever brought me,” he mumbles. seokmin scrunches his entire face up in embarrassment — either for himself or joshua for saying that, he’s not sure. maybe both. “yeah, it was a bad line, sorry. go find wonwoo,” he jokes.
seokmin shakes his head. he tugs on joshua’s arm and leads him to the bedroom. way more of that kissing thing needs to happen, like, as soon as possible. when they get there, joshua looks at him questioningly.
“wonwoo has a motorcycle,” seokmin says through his grin, waving his hand dismissively. “i hate motorcycles.”